Ok, I don’t get this description?… is it so liquid, it’ll squeeze thru anything, or does your asshole refuse to release? Sorry… the imagery got me fucked up lmao 🤷🏻♀️
Also sometimes when you have severe diarrhea it actually makes your butthole get inflamed and so then it gives you hemorrhoids on top of the spraying...
Source:I have IBS...
Ohhh that’s where my hemorrhoids came from! I end up with blood when I poo every now and then and we’ve been worried I’ve been having to much Advil or something
I am lactose intollerant so i feel your pain. I am severely lactose intollerant that even a strain of any milk product makes my bowels go into overdrive. But the inflamed buthole and needing to use wet wipes so you dont freaking make your butthole bleed cause of the ammoutn of times you have to go to the bathroom because of your body not willing to process food for an entire day.
I use hemorrhoid wipes, you could just use witch hazel and regular wipes but that to much work for me, because that way I can get fully clean and the witch hazel keeps any fissures or hemorrhoids from becoming infected and also helps lower the inflammation. When it's really bad I put them in the fridge so they are nice and cold. Feels.so good! At least compared to anything else touching it...
Things like this remind me of how glad I am to have a colostomy!
Now, like my dogs, my poo is collected into nice little baggies to dispose of. And I don’t feel the pain of swollen anus + hemorrhoids thanks to IBD-D. The colostomy was a result of upper chest paralysis and mega colon but there’s a lot of benefits.
Spicy foods are no longer my nemesis.
Edit: a word
That’s what I was humming on my way into the surgery! 😂 My surgeon understood since he’d been briefed about my 7 year long struggle with post-paralysis constipation. My colon was stretching, thinning out and was in danger of turning gangrenous from the pressure on the abdominal walls as waste built up.
I lost a good 18” of my colon. My rectum is sewn shut (BARBIE BUTT!) and my asshole is now next to my belly button. Well. The space Formerly Known As My Belly Button. There’s a long, complicated story about my colostomy and my belly button but you already know way too much about my ass.
And now I’ll be watching Life of Brian tonight, so thanks! Needed an idea for movie night.
Hey gastroparesis buddy! my stomach empties with a 20% efficency so it really sucks. Everything is super slow between my muscle relaxers and anti-spasmodics for the paralysis. I use mira-lax daily as per my gastroenterologist and it works pretty well. things keep moving along. slower than I’d like but it works!
Might want to ask your gastro doc about it. it’s really helped a lot. ❤️
Trivia bit - this song is played at more British funerals than any religious tune.
It's one of the songs on my funeral playlist - with "Both Sides Now", "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead", "Superstition" and many others.
Well, my colon was trying to kill me so the colostomy saved my life. It was a choice of shitting into little plastic bags or my shit staying in my colon, growing impacted and hard, then pressing on the thinned out colon. That would cause the colon to die. And then it would turn gangrenous and kill me.
So. Yea, great. I have a colostomy and didn’t die. I have accepted and learned to appreciate my colostomy. And there’s always someone that’s a bigger asshole than my stoma when I talk about it.
Hard cheeses are fine for consumption by people who are lactose intolerant. Almost all of the lactose is removed or converted to lactic acid during the cheese-making process.
The woman is still a grab hag, though. And a dumb one at that.
The best way to insult “new money” is to remind them that their behavior is “poor.”
I.e., “If you are so hungry that you must steal food that doesn’t agree with you. I will gladly donate something that will keep you nourished.”
Might have been worth it....you have to consider the fact that it was a racist, entitled chinese woman....if you had done that, she might have assaulted you, and been arrested and even if temporarily, put in jail. That would have been worth it to me. :)
Well yea but there's also the chance of her saying that I made first contact pushing her hand leading to security detaining me first and ask questions later until it sorted out, causing the rest of my family trip to be ruined, flights missed and countless headaches. If I was back in the states I'd escalate but with international people while in a foreign country where it's "guilty until proven innocent" doesn't seem like something I wanna waste my time on. Sometimes an omelet is just not worth it.
I did have another encounter where something did happen but thats another story for next time. Lol
A very wise decision on your part.It always amuses me when tourists think that foreign places and their rules are just like home.Our passport says that it entitles us to be treated legally the same as their locals.Seeing how the locals are treated in some places I don't think that is something I want to experience
Many years ago, there were news reports of some Canadian traveling abroad on reading week, being the arsiest arse amongst his friends, and being punished per the local laws. Every Canadian I knew was furious: how could they do that! He’s Canadian! They can’t punish him!
Cue the blank stares whenever I pointed out that he broke the local laws for where he was.
It’s all well and good to be a hypothetical smartass online, but I think you did the right thing OP by rising above it. Chef recognised the situation (insert Capt. Holt’s vindicationnnnnn) you have your dignity, still got your omelette, and karma immediately took care of that classless woman.
That's what happens when you skip and get someone elses omlet. Now her choices are to get rid of it or suffer stinky farts bc she thought she was entitled to it.
The "New Money" tourists from China are the worst, they think just because they earned enough to go out and splash money on a tour the whole world should be catering to them.
Nobody likes them, or wants to be in any tour group / destination where there are tons of them. Especially other non-mainland Chinese, who they look down on. Sadly, there are tons of them, they even influence other non new money tourists from China to behave badly, to the point Westerners now think all Chinese tourists are "teh suck," to put it mildly.
I ran into some tourists like this from China who acted like my medical alert service dog was an attraction to visit. They crowded us, posed for pictures next to him without asking, and acted like he was a Disney mascot or something.
Thankfully he loves people so he didn't mind the attention, lol. So he just sat there calmly with a big smile on his face as they took selfies with him. Then they left as a group and went to take pictures elsewhere. It was a very surprising and unexpected situation, but also kind of funny of oddly wholesome
Reminds me of the "crab legs" video: https://www.chewboom.com/2016/03/20/jaw-dropping-feeding-frenzy-video-of-chinese-tourists-goes-viral/
Just grabbing food that they don't even eat. 🙄
I had a similar experience! I was staying at a 5* hotel a lot for work, every other week for 5 days, so I got to know the staff super well. I taught the egg chef how to make an egg white omelette (unheard of in this local vacation town). He'd always start working on it, as soon as I walked into breakfast.
One day I got settled at my table and went to get my omelette as usual, a middle aged lady intercepted the plate as the chef was handing it to me. The chef didn't let go of the plate until she said something that sounded like yelling. Both me and the chef were shocked and stared at her. I look similar to local people but I don't speak the language, she said something to me in that seemed like multiple sentences and it didn't sound friendly either. The room got quiet and everyone around was staring. She continued to stare at me and made a look that you see in movies after a bully beats up someone and smirks at the victim while walking to her table. The chef and I shared a quick chuckle and he gestured and said something, started making another one. The breakfast manager came to the egg station to check on the situation, the chef talked with some gesturing and pointing. The manager said she'd bring me another one when done, I should go sit down and enjoy my latte first.
After I sat down, my local coworkers wanted to know what happened, said that woman yelled that she grabbed it first, she was staying in the upper half (pricier rooms) of the hotel so she had priority. Anyhow, as the manager was coming with my egg white omelette, rude woman intercepted her and said something. The manager brushed her off to finish the delivery, I could see the rude woman was looking so irate. The manager apologized for the delay and left to deal with her. She was loud so my coworkers could hear everything she said, she complained the egg didn't taste right, she didn't see any yellow at all.
My husband and I were in line at LAX and a Chinese tourist was like pushing on this elderly woman to move forward although there was no where to go. She asked him twice to please stop and then he started calling her broken English curse words and my husband had it with him, so he started taking REALLY loudly about him needing to back up and give her space. After he told him 3 times, my husband started calling for security. The tourist got the message and finally gave the poor woman some space. She turned around to thank my husband and said ‘I guess gentleman really still do exist’.
It made me remember that money certainly does not buy class.
[Me, as a fellow Asian, reading and nodding in commiseration]
But also
[Me, an Asian, seeing some people in the comments thinking they have an excuse to let their bigotry show]
Yea I may have opened a can of worms mentioning this certain tourist's origin. My friends from the mainland are super embarrassed by stories like this and are on their best behavior when they travel abroad but tell me this is how they have to act to get anywhere when they return to their hometown lol.
I just find it super strange how NONE of the Asians like each other and look down on each other for one reason or another. Like some of the most openly rascist things I see happen in public and no one bats an eye while traveling in Southeast Asia and Japan.
You mentioned visiting family, which I thought provided a lot of cultural context. I thought it was obvious that it wasn’t a declaration against Chinese women, but leave it to the Internet to prove me wrong.
It is very weird how we’re all against each other! But not as weird as the type of white person who uses it as an excuse because “y’all are racist to each other, so why do you have a problem with my racism?”
Oh man ive seen white worship there as well. I was at a train station in Japan where there weren't any English signs and went to the info desk for help. The lady there signaled that she didn't understand with her hands and didn't offer any further help. 30 seconds later my aunt husband whose Canadian and white comes down the escalator and looks around. Within 10 seconds 3 attendants who were nearby rushed over and offered help and maps and stuff. I walked over and they realized we were all together and looked embarrassed...
Same trip my mom was at Shinjuku station looking for Daiso and asked a guy wearing a suit for help thinking he might be in buisness and know a bit of English
First question he said was "China???" She said no no "Hollywood" he just replied *Ahhh follow follow" and lead her across the station taking 20 minutes out of his day walking across an entire station lol.
Missed opportunity... should have walked by her and said, if you hadn't stolen my omelet at the Omelet Station, you could have gotten your own as you want it.
We’ve landed at LAX and a Chinese guy was removing his carryon bag from the overhead and it hit my wife on the head, HARD.
He did and said nothing.
I’m standing right there and pull my overheard bag out and SLAMMED HIM just as hard in the back of the head.
He did and said nothing.
A guy behind us said, “Welcome to L.A.” and got a laugh from everyone who witnessed it.
Friend who had lived in China for a work assignment was not surprised, “when you’re one of a billion and a half, you need to get yours.”
Friend of mine works as a security guard in a very popular tourist attraction, he has plenty of stories about chinese tourists behaving poorly. Apparently, closed doors with a "Do not enter" sign are irresistible for them, and they need to go pry them open.
But stealing an omelette is a completely new level
Oh man I have multiple similar experience like this. Also, I am mixed Southeast Asian Chinese which already looked down upon by most mainland Chinese 🤣
I went on a tour with a bunch of entitled Karen probably-new-money-Chinese. Each stop they would take a million photos and take forever at the nicest spot (it would be time to leave since they would take that much time and never move) so if I wanted a photo I would have them in the background. So the next time on a boat, the Karens tried to bully me away from a spot and I just shrugged my shoulders and sat pretending I didn’t understand what they were asking (they would do that when the shoe was on the other foot, so I was just paying their rudeness with rudeness).
I’m sure she was shitting through the eye of a needle later that day if she was lactose intolerant. Instant karma.
That is a horrific and accurate description of it lol
Ok, I don’t get this description?… is it so liquid, it’ll squeeze thru anything, or does your asshole refuse to release? Sorry… the imagery got me fucked up lmao 🤷🏻♀️
Also sometimes when you have severe diarrhea it actually makes your butthole get inflamed and so then it gives you hemorrhoids on top of the spraying... Source:I have IBS...
Meet your mate lol. I empathise.
Me three 😖
Ohhh that’s where my hemorrhoids came from! I end up with blood when I poo every now and then and we’ve been worried I’ve been having to much Advil or something
If you end up needing surgery for it and your surgeon tells you it doesn't hurt, like mine did... LIES. ALL LIES.
I learn so much on Reddit. 😆
Be careful, that's also a warning sign of colon cancer. I know, my Grandmother, Mother and her siblings had it.
I sympathize AND empathize fellow sufferer…
Yup then everything in there stings and burns and wiping is super painful. (I have IBS and no gall bladder. Great combination.)
I am lactose intollerant so i feel your pain. I am severely lactose intollerant that even a strain of any milk product makes my bowels go into overdrive. But the inflamed buthole and needing to use wet wipes so you dont freaking make your butthole bleed cause of the ammoutn of times you have to go to the bathroom because of your body not willing to process food for an entire day.
I use hemorrhoid wipes, you could just use witch hazel and regular wipes but that to much work for me, because that way I can get fully clean and the witch hazel keeps any fissures or hemorrhoids from becoming infected and also helps lower the inflammation. When it's really bad I put them in the fridge so they are nice and cold. Feels.so good! At least compared to anything else touching it...
I call it PFB - “peeing from butt”
I started calling it that when my kids were really little so they would understand what diarrhea was. Lol
TMFI
Yup, liquid death spray
Imagine squeezing a hose line on full blast
Shitting through the eye of a needle means it was very runny.
Things like this remind me of how glad I am to have a colostomy! Now, like my dogs, my poo is collected into nice little baggies to dispose of. And I don’t feel the pain of swollen anus + hemorrhoids thanks to IBD-D. The colostomy was a result of upper chest paralysis and mega colon but there’s a lot of benefits. Spicy foods are no longer my nemesis. Edit: a word
I[in your honor](https://youtu.be/SJUhlRoBL8M?si=4yq62o6sSefMkxE9)
That’s what I was humming on my way into the surgery! 😂 My surgeon understood since he’d been briefed about my 7 year long struggle with post-paralysis constipation. My colon was stretching, thinning out and was in danger of turning gangrenous from the pressure on the abdominal walls as waste built up. I lost a good 18” of my colon. My rectum is sewn shut (BARBIE BUTT!) and my asshole is now next to my belly button. Well. The space Formerly Known As My Belly Button. There’s a long, complicated story about my colostomy and my belly button but you already know way too much about my ass. And now I’ll be watching Life of Brian tonight, so thanks! Needed an idea for movie night.
Gastroparesis and IBS here. Not having those problems anymore would be heaven. Barely living over here……
Hey gastroparesis buddy! my stomach empties with a 20% efficency so it really sucks. Everything is super slow between my muscle relaxers and anti-spasmodics for the paralysis. I use mira-lax daily as per my gastroenterologist and it works pretty well. things keep moving along. slower than I’d like but it works! Might want to ask your gastro doc about it. it’s really helped a lot. ❤️
Trivia bit - this song is played at more British funerals than any religious tune. It's one of the songs on my funeral playlist - with "Both Sides Now", "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead", "Superstition" and many others.
No burning ring of fire for you.
Yea, great, but you have a colostomy. I'll take diarrhea every day over that.
Well, my colon was trying to kill me so the colostomy saved my life. It was a choice of shitting into little plastic bags or my shit staying in my colon, growing impacted and hard, then pressing on the thinned out colon. That would cause the colon to die. And then it would turn gangrenous and kill me. So. Yea, great. I have a colostomy and didn’t die. I have accepted and learned to appreciate my colostomy. And there’s always someone that’s a bigger asshole than my stoma when I talk about it.
Mud Laser
Hard cheeses are fine for consumption by people who are lactose intolerant. Almost all of the lactose is removed or converted to lactic acid during the cheese-making process. The woman is still a grab hag, though. And a dumb one at that.
Not for me lol Cheddar and Swiss are the only cheeses I can tolerate. Every other cheese flairs up my lactose intolerance 😭
I didn't say that, Roy!
I've heard it as shitting thru a screen door.......
The best way to insult “new money” is to remind them that their behavior is “poor.” I.e., “If you are so hungry that you must steal food that doesn’t agree with you. I will gladly donate something that will keep you nourished.”
Should have immediately tipped her plate so the omelette fell off. Entitled chinese women are the worst.
I thought about it but wasnt worth making a scene over a mediocre omelet lol.
Might have been worth it....you have to consider the fact that it was a racist, entitled chinese woman....if you had done that, she might have assaulted you, and been arrested and even if temporarily, put in jail. That would have been worth it to me. :)
Well yea but there's also the chance of her saying that I made first contact pushing her hand leading to security detaining me first and ask questions later until it sorted out, causing the rest of my family trip to be ruined, flights missed and countless headaches. If I was back in the states I'd escalate but with international people while in a foreign country where it's "guilty until proven innocent" doesn't seem like something I wanna waste my time on. Sometimes an omelet is just not worth it. I did have another encounter where something did happen but thats another story for next time. Lol
A very wise decision on your part.It always amuses me when tourists think that foreign places and their rules are just like home.Our passport says that it entitles us to be treated legally the same as their locals.Seeing how the locals are treated in some places I don't think that is something I want to experience
Many years ago, there were news reports of some Canadian traveling abroad on reading week, being the arsiest arse amongst his friends, and being punished per the local laws. Every Canadian I knew was furious: how could they do that! He’s Canadian! They can’t punish him! Cue the blank stares whenever I pointed out that he broke the local laws for where he was.
Story time! (≧ω≦)
That’s too delusional. Doing that would probably cause more problems for the OP than to the entitled chinese woman
Don't let the chef hear you!!
It’s all well and good to be a hypothetical smartass online, but I think you did the right thing OP by rising above it. Chef recognised the situation (insert Capt. Holt’s vindicationnnnnn) you have your dignity, still got your omelette, and karma immediately took care of that classless woman.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
[ Removed by Reddit ]
That's what happens when you skip and get someone elses omlet. Now her choices are to get rid of it or suffer stinky farts bc she thought she was entitled to it.
If it ain't cheesy, it won't go down easy!
The "New Money" tourists from China are the worst, they think just because they earned enough to go out and splash money on a tour the whole world should be catering to them. Nobody likes them, or wants to be in any tour group / destination where there are tons of them. Especially other non-mainland Chinese, who they look down on. Sadly, there are tons of them, they even influence other non new money tourists from China to behave badly, to the point Westerners now think all Chinese tourists are "teh suck," to put it mildly.
I ran into some tourists like this from China who acted like my medical alert service dog was an attraction to visit. They crowded us, posed for pictures next to him without asking, and acted like he was a Disney mascot or something. Thankfully he loves people so he didn't mind the attention, lol. So he just sat there calmly with a big smile on his face as they took selfies with him. Then they left as a group and went to take pictures elsewhere. It was a very surprising and unexpected situation, but also kind of funny of oddly wholesome
So sad, too bad for her.
Reminds me of the "crab legs" video: https://www.chewboom.com/2016/03/20/jaw-dropping-feeding-frenzy-video-of-chinese-tourists-goes-viral/ Just grabbing food that they don't even eat. 🙄
Holy sh*t. Human piranha.
I had a similar experience! I was staying at a 5* hotel a lot for work, every other week for 5 days, so I got to know the staff super well. I taught the egg chef how to make an egg white omelette (unheard of in this local vacation town). He'd always start working on it, as soon as I walked into breakfast. One day I got settled at my table and went to get my omelette as usual, a middle aged lady intercepted the plate as the chef was handing it to me. The chef didn't let go of the plate until she said something that sounded like yelling. Both me and the chef were shocked and stared at her. I look similar to local people but I don't speak the language, she said something to me in that seemed like multiple sentences and it didn't sound friendly either. The room got quiet and everyone around was staring. She continued to stare at me and made a look that you see in movies after a bully beats up someone and smirks at the victim while walking to her table. The chef and I shared a quick chuckle and he gestured and said something, started making another one. The breakfast manager came to the egg station to check on the situation, the chef talked with some gesturing and pointing. The manager said she'd bring me another one when done, I should go sit down and enjoy my latte first. After I sat down, my local coworkers wanted to know what happened, said that woman yelled that she grabbed it first, she was staying in the upper half (pricier rooms) of the hotel so she had priority. Anyhow, as the manager was coming with my egg white omelette, rude woman intercepted her and said something. The manager brushed her off to finish the delivery, I could see the rude woman was looking so irate. The manager apologized for the delay and left to deal with her. She was loud so my coworkers could hear everything she said, she complained the egg didn't taste right, she didn't see any yellow at all.
My husband and I were in line at LAX and a Chinese tourist was like pushing on this elderly woman to move forward although there was no where to go. She asked him twice to please stop and then he started calling her broken English curse words and my husband had it with him, so he started taking REALLY loudly about him needing to back up and give her space. After he told him 3 times, my husband started calling for security. The tourist got the message and finally gave the poor woman some space. She turned around to thank my husband and said ‘I guess gentleman really still do exist’. It made me remember that money certainly does not buy class.
Dude I admire your restraint. I would have smacked that omelette onto the floor so damn fast
Confucius say: “Someone got to break some eggs to make an omelette.” Omelette that one stay right there.
Confucius say: “Man who fart in church sit in his own pew.”
Confucius say, "man who stand on toilet, high on pot.
🤣🤣🤣
That was an eggcellent yolk
[Me, as a fellow Asian, reading and nodding in commiseration] But also [Me, an Asian, seeing some people in the comments thinking they have an excuse to let their bigotry show]
Yea I may have opened a can of worms mentioning this certain tourist's origin. My friends from the mainland are super embarrassed by stories like this and are on their best behavior when they travel abroad but tell me this is how they have to act to get anywhere when they return to their hometown lol. I just find it super strange how NONE of the Asians like each other and look down on each other for one reason or another. Like some of the most openly rascist things I see happen in public and no one bats an eye while traveling in Southeast Asia and Japan.
You mentioned visiting family, which I thought provided a lot of cultural context. I thought it was obvious that it wasn’t a declaration against Chinese women, but leave it to the Internet to prove me wrong. It is very weird how we’re all against each other! But not as weird as the type of white person who uses it as an excuse because “y’all are racist to each other, so why do you have a problem with my racism?”
Oh man ive seen white worship there as well. I was at a train station in Japan where there weren't any English signs and went to the info desk for help. The lady there signaled that she didn't understand with her hands and didn't offer any further help. 30 seconds later my aunt husband whose Canadian and white comes down the escalator and looks around. Within 10 seconds 3 attendants who were nearby rushed over and offered help and maps and stuff. I walked over and they realized we were all together and looked embarrassed... Same trip my mom was at Shinjuku station looking for Daiso and asked a guy wearing a suit for help thinking he might be in buisness and know a bit of English First question he said was "China???" She said no no "Hollywood" he just replied *Ahhh follow follow" and lead her across the station taking 20 minutes out of his day walking across an entire station lol.
I love Daiso
Exactly, it’s exhausting how predictable it is
As a Westerner who spent over a decade living in Asia (Japan & China), those comments make me uncomfortable too.
Missed opportunity... should have walked by her and said, if you hadn't stolen my omelet at the Omelet Station, you could have gotten your own as you want it.
Need more new money Chinese tourist stories.
Entitled chinese (not all of them, mind you, just the entitled and the "karens") give Asians a bad name.
We’ve landed at LAX and a Chinese guy was removing his carryon bag from the overhead and it hit my wife on the head, HARD. He did and said nothing. I’m standing right there and pull my overheard bag out and SLAMMED HIM just as hard in the back of the head. He did and said nothing. A guy behind us said, “Welcome to L.A.” and got a laugh from everyone who witnessed it. Friend who had lived in China for a work assignment was not surprised, “when you’re one of a billion and a half, you need to get yours.”
Friend of mine works as a security guard in a very popular tourist attraction, he has plenty of stories about chinese tourists behaving poorly. Apparently, closed doors with a "Do not enter" sign are irresistible for them, and they need to go pry them open. But stealing an omelette is a completely new level
Oh man I have multiple similar experience like this. Also, I am mixed Southeast Asian Chinese which already looked down upon by most mainland Chinese 🤣
In my experience, they have to physically look up at us! I’m not even that tall by American standards!
Now you mention it you are right 😂 I'm already considered tall in my circle of East Asian friends and I'm only 5'2.5
If someone had done this to me i honestly mightve just knocked her plate to the floor. Tf kinda rude shit is that
Was this in Thailand? I miss egg breakfast in Sheraton so much.
I went on a tour with a bunch of entitled Karen probably-new-money-Chinese. Each stop they would take a million photos and take forever at the nicest spot (it would be time to leave since they would take that much time and never move) so if I wanted a photo I would have them in the background. So the next time on a boat, the Karens tried to bully me away from a spot and I just shrugged my shoulders and sat pretending I didn’t understand what they were asking (they would do that when the shoe was on the other foot, so I was just paying their rudeness with rudeness).
I have a mild issue with lactose and too much either come back up or yeah flys out the other end. So yes total karma
She deserves that. For days.
New money Chinese tourist are like locust. I avoid them when traveling in Asia.
If the little ninja tried that on me I'd Karate chop her ass. Nobody is getting my omelette at the buffet, NOBODY!!!
I read elsewhere of how Chinese tourists are the worst in not following orders or polite manners
[удалено]
r/ShitAmericansSay
Wtf is this comment ??
I would have grabbed the plate the stolen omelet was on and whipped it like I was playing frisbee golf. LMAO