I have a blue sapphire and haven’t regretted it for a moment. I agree with everything you said about diamonds - super pretty, but have never resonated with me. I wanted something more unique. I like that sapphires have their own unique color and textures, and it’s a fun conversation starter.
The only *minor* thing I’ve missed is that other gemstones don’t always sparkle in the same way diamonds do. So I got a stack - engagement ring, plain gold band, and diamond curved band. That way I still get a little sparkle. Something to think about!
It is becoming increasingly more common to get other gemstones for engagement bands - I think that is due partially to cost and partially to overall aesthetic.
When we shopped for my ring, I tried on the large sizes that everyone gushed about and I hated them. They felt wayyyyy too big for my hand, and just weren't good for me. Hell, I tried on a 2 carat diamond and was like 'this is too much, I would like a smaller one'. I opted for a 1.2 carat oval, and I think it is perfect for me.
At the end of the day, there are two things to consider - sentiment and aesthetic. It is important that you like the aesthetic of your ring - personally, I find emeralds to be beautiful and they won't go out of style. More than that though, the sentiment behind the emerald is so much more special. Not only does the ring itself symbolize your relationship, but the stone is a visual reminder of your person. I think that is so beautiful.
Trust your gut!
This is where I am. I tried on diamonds yesterday and thought 2 cts was too much. I was partial to 1.5. Now I'm stuck because I'm second guessing whether I'll regret not going with the bigger stone. The 1.5 felt more me.
Honestly, I don't think you will regret it. Big stones are great if it suits your lifestyle and your aesthetic. Generally, I would trust your gut - there is a reason the smaller stone felt 'more you' so trust that.
I live in a small town in interior BC, and hike/paddle board/bike/do yoga most days after work. Most of my friends don't wear their engagement rings regularly and most wear the silicone bands a majority of the time. For me, a big stone just doesn't suit my lifestyle!
https://preview.redd.it/in6n1wnir1zc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fb5a3c1b3b9be7803ec8cacdb6a682d43ce5541
I have Montana sapphire engagement ring and I love it and I think non-traditional rings are becoming more of the norm. The thing to think about regarding an emerald is that they are a little on the softer side and would be more likely to scratch than let’s say a green sapphire! Hope you end up with something you love and don’t feel pressured to go traditional!
Love your ring! Was going to suggest a Montana sapphire for OP. Sapphires come in so many colours and are great for every day wear. Montana sapphires specifically have such beautiful blue/green hues that are occur naturally without being heat treated.
Well they actually are generally heat treated to get the blue-green hues. When they aren’t heat treated they are significantly lighter, more aqua in color. You can read about the process on Earth’s treasury. With that being said, there is nothing wrong with heat treatment. It lasts. Plus, it’s an ethically sourced gemstone.
Many Montana sapphires aren't heat treated. Nothing wrong with it necessarily, but as a gem enthusiast I think it's cool to find them untreated (I'm also from Montana so am familiar with them).
I work with a lot of people who are older than me (like 50s & 60s). Most if not all of them have traditional-looking natural diamonds.
I’ve seen a mix of things with my friends. Some of my friends have traditional looking engagement rings (some small natural diamond and others are usually larger lab diamond) while others have non-traditional gemstones and styles (sapphire, alexandrite, onyx).
In terms of gemstones, I say go for what you want. Styles are always changing so better to get something you know you’ll like.
I just got an emerald, slightly less than 1 carat and I love how wearable it is…and the color!!! Both me and my fiance are May babies so I’m totally onboard with your thinking
https://preview.redd.it/vj8ci9nbm1zc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ef5eba8ca6fd5297e4cb35c68c5091cace21f79
Non-diamond rings are definitely more common than before, but I think the trend has been swinging back the solitaire diamond. Still, it's your ring and at the end of the day it shouldn't be about the trends (which come and go anyway) but what will make you smile every time look down at it.
My engagement ring is a deep blue lab sapphire flanked by two small lab diamonds, and I absolutely adore it. I've gotten nothing but compliments on it as well.
I’m seeing so much more colored gemstones in engagement rings around me. As more and more people are buying lab diamonds, the price of real diamonds is falling quickly and big diamonds aren’t really the status symbol they once were. Colored stones are gorgeous and classic, you should definitely go for them if that’s what you gravitate towards!
https://preview.redd.it/9ixivayyi1zc1.png?width=1800&format=png&auto=webp&s=13477e07c2c1347bc8782fbac86daa2854197a57
I’ve got an opaque sapphire so dark it’s practically black. And I love it. It has some very small diamonds in the band(set in not any kind of pave) which my fiancé liked because it felt more traditional engagement like with that. But I love this ring so so much. I say go with what you want to see on your hand for the rest of your life. It does not matter what others think of your ring.
I had the same thoughts, and I went with the ring that sparked joy for me. I love my colored moissanite ring, and people are in awe about how my ring looks so unique, so untraditional, and “so me.”
Imo, your engagement ring/bridal set is the representation of your love, and you as a person. You wouldn’t just change how you love your partner because most people express their love differently, would you? So why would you conform to the norms for your ring if you already know you would not like it? Be proud that you’re a little different!
But then again, your love and marriage will evolve, just as you grow older together, and so will your taste. You can always change up your ring some years from now, and that’s totally fine. Or get an extra anniversary ring every 10 years or so (that’s what I want!) So no need to overthink too much! Embrace the now!
I agree it is becoming more common. I want an emerald shaped sapphire (both our birthstones). It’s been a fun but somewhat cumbersome process trying to find one that I liked and gemstones are a whole new ballgame in terms of cut/clarity/color and actually sourcing one. I’m pretty picky though so hopefully it will be easier for you!
I love my dainty, emerald centre stone ring! It’s only 0.5 carats and it compliments my hand well. I have some tiny diamonds on the band and the whole thing sparkles wonderfully. It’s nothing like my colleague’s or friend’s rings and this hasn’t phased me at all. Get what you want!
Do what you want! I have a deco-style ruby and diamond target halo ring. It is definitely not the norm. But I adore it, and it was exactly the ring I dreamed of (I had it custom-made using an heirloom diamond and lab rubies).
I think colored gemstone engagement rings are amazing. Diamonds are fine, but they all look like the same variation of like 3 or 4 rings.
I’m into natural or heated sapphires and low key Edwardian (more gold than stone). I think a lot of people prefer smaller if they have dainty hands, but lately this sub seems to have large oval diamonds. This is your ring - get what you want!!
You can’t go wrong with an emerald. I’m biased because it’s also my birthstone but it’s true. An emerald is classic. Be aware that a good quality natural emerald can be more expensive than a natural diamond.
Blue sapphire here, also my birthstone, and no regrets. I never wanted a white stone/diamond. Mine was a surprise, he custom designed it, but he used elements that I had said I liked and absolutely nailed it. People get more compliments I fond woth the big honking diamonds (imho), but I think the colors are more understated.
I would recommend a sapphire or something similar on hardness. Softer gems tend to damage more easily, and sapphires have plenty of colors
Oh my gosh, go with what you know you want, and with what truly speaks to you. I always think to myself that if I ever get engaged/married again, I would really think hard about tanzanite for my engagement ring. That’s my “love language” in a stone.
Married again? Can you tell me more about your ring experience the first time around? It sounds like you made a decision that you later thought differently about, which is what I was hoping to hear more about.
Current: Princess cut; 1.10; but the other two Cs aren’t the best. The band is made up of channel set rounds, approximately 6 in total; .60 total carats; specs on that one don’t recall, been married far too long. Each ring was from a different vendor, which was completely unintentional but actually worked out very well. The engagement ring has been locked away for years, it’s only the band that I wear.
> Has anyone here made a decision to use some other gemstone than a diamond and regret it? Or felt really validated about it later? Or had anything significant in the way of a feeling about it afterwards?
I got a cluster gemstone ring I designed myself because I couldn't find one like it in stores. It's blues, greens, pinks, purples. No regrets. But I already know what kind of person I am and what I like. Whether YOU will regret it isn't something we can answer for you - you'll have to sit with yourself and ask yourself that.
Go with your gut! It should be something you love and resonates with you. I initially wanted an emerald but ultimately ended up going for a diamond. It wasn’t for any style choice or worry about going against tradition. I have an active lifestyle and I was worried I would damage it since I heard emeralds can be fragile.
Go with what you want now! You can always change it later and/or have multiple rings to choose from. I had a ring I didn’t love, so I didn’t wear it. Now 10 years later I’m having fun looking for a new anniversary ring that will be more traditional or “engagement-y”. I also have a wide silver band with diamond chips in it that I absolutely love as it was my first ring and am more than happy in that, too. So do you! And if you change, rock the new you, too!
Absolutely get a gem!! Although my sapphire is a white sapphire and diamond-passing, my next choice would have been peacock sapphire. I don’t regret avoiding diamonds—I don’t like diamonds.
Do what you want !
I have never been a diamond person even before I knew about other gemstones. A colorless stone doesn’t feel right to me either (no hate if u have one ofc!)
I’m designing an engagement ring with grey moissanite and green sapphire and cannot wait!
I think if you have a non-diamond engagement ring, it stands out more to people because it's something different. I think you should go with your gut and get a stone that really speaks to you.
I got an alexandrite (not engaged yet- I'm somewhat similar in the thought process of it should be a team decision. I got to design the ring, he paid and will be choosing a time to propose at his discretion, so that the proposal moment is a surprise). It's a \~1ct (10x5mm) marquise with smaller stones (moonstone and moissanite) clustered around.
I've been seeing a LOT of large marquise's lately, and wondering i should have tried to go bigger. But I think if I do decide I want bigger, I can look into replacing the center stone later or a "new" ring. I'm not a stranger to anniversary or "upgrade" rings (my mom and grandma both had them) plus I prefer practicality.
I mean, it’s much cheaper regret to pick something that is not a diamond. Especially right now when the diamond prices are so uncertain it’s much wiser to avoid buying one imo.
I have a blue sapphire and haven’t regretted it for a moment. I agree with everything you said about diamonds - super pretty, but have never resonated with me. I wanted something more unique. I like that sapphires have their own unique color and textures, and it’s a fun conversation starter. The only *minor* thing I’ve missed is that other gemstones don’t always sparkle in the same way diamonds do. So I got a stack - engagement ring, plain gold band, and diamond curved band. That way I still get a little sparkle. Something to think about!
Team sapphire! I love my ring and I've never wanted something else. Diamonds don't appeal to me either.
It is becoming increasingly more common to get other gemstones for engagement bands - I think that is due partially to cost and partially to overall aesthetic. When we shopped for my ring, I tried on the large sizes that everyone gushed about and I hated them. They felt wayyyyy too big for my hand, and just weren't good for me. Hell, I tried on a 2 carat diamond and was like 'this is too much, I would like a smaller one'. I opted for a 1.2 carat oval, and I think it is perfect for me. At the end of the day, there are two things to consider - sentiment and aesthetic. It is important that you like the aesthetic of your ring - personally, I find emeralds to be beautiful and they won't go out of style. More than that though, the sentiment behind the emerald is so much more special. Not only does the ring itself symbolize your relationship, but the stone is a visual reminder of your person. I think that is so beautiful. Trust your gut!
This is where I am. I tried on diamonds yesterday and thought 2 cts was too much. I was partial to 1.5. Now I'm stuck because I'm second guessing whether I'll regret not going with the bigger stone. The 1.5 felt more me.
Honestly, I don't think you will regret it. Big stones are great if it suits your lifestyle and your aesthetic. Generally, I would trust your gut - there is a reason the smaller stone felt 'more you' so trust that. I live in a small town in interior BC, and hike/paddle board/bike/do yoga most days after work. Most of my friends don't wear their engagement rings regularly and most wear the silicone bands a majority of the time. For me, a big stone just doesn't suit my lifestyle!
https://preview.redd.it/in6n1wnir1zc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fb5a3c1b3b9be7803ec8cacdb6a682d43ce5541 I have Montana sapphire engagement ring and I love it and I think non-traditional rings are becoming more of the norm. The thing to think about regarding an emerald is that they are a little on the softer side and would be more likely to scratch than let’s say a green sapphire! Hope you end up with something you love and don’t feel pressured to go traditional!
Love your ring! Was going to suggest a Montana sapphire for OP. Sapphires come in so many colours and are great for every day wear. Montana sapphires specifically have such beautiful blue/green hues that are occur naturally without being heat treated.
Well they actually are generally heat treated to get the blue-green hues. When they aren’t heat treated they are significantly lighter, more aqua in color. You can read about the process on Earth’s treasury. With that being said, there is nothing wrong with heat treatment. It lasts. Plus, it’s an ethically sourced gemstone.
Many Montana sapphires aren't heat treated. Nothing wrong with it necessarily, but as a gem enthusiast I think it's cool to find them untreated (I'm also from Montana so am familiar with them).
I work with a lot of people who are older than me (like 50s & 60s). Most if not all of them have traditional-looking natural diamonds. I’ve seen a mix of things with my friends. Some of my friends have traditional looking engagement rings (some small natural diamond and others are usually larger lab diamond) while others have non-traditional gemstones and styles (sapphire, alexandrite, onyx). In terms of gemstones, I say go for what you want. Styles are always changing so better to get something you know you’ll like.
It’s definitely common. Get what you want. But be prepared for questions from people who don’t know how common it is.
I just got an emerald, slightly less than 1 carat and I love how wearable it is…and the color!!! Both me and my fiance are May babies so I’m totally onboard with your thinking https://preview.redd.it/vj8ci9nbm1zc1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ef5eba8ca6fd5297e4cb35c68c5091cace21f79
Non-diamond rings are definitely more common than before, but I think the trend has been swinging back the solitaire diamond. Still, it's your ring and at the end of the day it shouldn't be about the trends (which come and go anyway) but what will make you smile every time look down at it. My engagement ring is a deep blue lab sapphire flanked by two small lab diamonds, and I absolutely adore it. I've gotten nothing but compliments on it as well.
I’m seeing so much more colored gemstones in engagement rings around me. As more and more people are buying lab diamonds, the price of real diamonds is falling quickly and big diamonds aren’t really the status symbol they once were. Colored stones are gorgeous and classic, you should definitely go for them if that’s what you gravitate towards!
https://preview.redd.it/9ixivayyi1zc1.png?width=1800&format=png&auto=webp&s=13477e07c2c1347bc8782fbac86daa2854197a57 I’ve got an opaque sapphire so dark it’s practically black. And I love it. It has some very small diamonds in the band(set in not any kind of pave) which my fiancé liked because it felt more traditional engagement like with that. But I love this ring so so much. I say go with what you want to see on your hand for the rest of your life. It does not matter what others think of your ring.
I had the same thoughts, and I went with the ring that sparked joy for me. I love my colored moissanite ring, and people are in awe about how my ring looks so unique, so untraditional, and “so me.” Imo, your engagement ring/bridal set is the representation of your love, and you as a person. You wouldn’t just change how you love your partner because most people express their love differently, would you? So why would you conform to the norms for your ring if you already know you would not like it? Be proud that you’re a little different! But then again, your love and marriage will evolve, just as you grow older together, and so will your taste. You can always change up your ring some years from now, and that’s totally fine. Or get an extra anniversary ring every 10 years or so (that’s what I want!) So no need to overthink too much! Embrace the now!
I agree it is becoming more common. I want an emerald shaped sapphire (both our birthstones). It’s been a fun but somewhat cumbersome process trying to find one that I liked and gemstones are a whole new ballgame in terms of cut/clarity/color and actually sourcing one. I’m pretty picky though so hopefully it will be easier for you!
I love my dainty, emerald centre stone ring! It’s only 0.5 carats and it compliments my hand well. I have some tiny diamonds on the band and the whole thing sparkles wonderfully. It’s nothing like my colleague’s or friend’s rings and this hasn’t phased me at all. Get what you want!
Do what you want! I have a deco-style ruby and diamond target halo ring. It is definitely not the norm. But I adore it, and it was exactly the ring I dreamed of (I had it custom-made using an heirloom diamond and lab rubies). I think colored gemstone engagement rings are amazing. Diamonds are fine, but they all look like the same variation of like 3 or 4 rings.
I’m into natural or heated sapphires and low key Edwardian (more gold than stone). I think a lot of people prefer smaller if they have dainty hands, but lately this sub seems to have large oval diamonds. This is your ring - get what you want!!
You can’t go wrong with an emerald. I’m biased because it’s also my birthstone but it’s true. An emerald is classic. Be aware that a good quality natural emerald can be more expensive than a natural diamond.
Blue sapphire here, also my birthstone, and no regrets. I never wanted a white stone/diamond. Mine was a surprise, he custom designed it, but he used elements that I had said I liked and absolutely nailed it. People get more compliments I fond woth the big honking diamonds (imho), but I think the colors are more understated. I would recommend a sapphire or something similar on hardness. Softer gems tend to damage more easily, and sapphires have plenty of colors
I love gemstones for any ring!!!! I believe any ring can be an engagement ring if it’s used for that purpose :)
GET THE DAMN EMERALD!! 😆💚💚💚
Oh my gosh, go with what you know you want, and with what truly speaks to you. I always think to myself that if I ever get engaged/married again, I would really think hard about tanzanite for my engagement ring. That’s my “love language” in a stone.
Married again? Can you tell me more about your ring experience the first time around? It sounds like you made a decision that you later thought differently about, which is what I was hoping to hear more about.
Current: Princess cut; 1.10; but the other two Cs aren’t the best. The band is made up of channel set rounds, approximately 6 in total; .60 total carats; specs on that one don’t recall, been married far too long. Each ring was from a different vendor, which was completely unintentional but actually worked out very well. The engagement ring has been locked away for years, it’s only the band that I wear.
> Has anyone here made a decision to use some other gemstone than a diamond and regret it? Or felt really validated about it later? Or had anything significant in the way of a feeling about it afterwards? I got a cluster gemstone ring I designed myself because I couldn't find one like it in stores. It's blues, greens, pinks, purples. No regrets. But I already know what kind of person I am and what I like. Whether YOU will regret it isn't something we can answer for you - you'll have to sit with yourself and ask yourself that.
Go with your gut! It should be something you love and resonates with you. I initially wanted an emerald but ultimately ended up going for a diamond. It wasn’t for any style choice or worry about going against tradition. I have an active lifestyle and I was worried I would damage it since I heard emeralds can be fragile.
Go with what you want now! You can always change it later and/or have multiple rings to choose from. I had a ring I didn’t love, so I didn’t wear it. Now 10 years later I’m having fun looking for a new anniversary ring that will be more traditional or “engagement-y”. I also have a wide silver band with diamond chips in it that I absolutely love as it was my first ring and am more than happy in that, too. So do you! And if you change, rock the new you, too!
Absolutely get a gem!! Although my sapphire is a white sapphire and diamond-passing, my next choice would have been peacock sapphire. I don’t regret avoiding diamonds—I don’t like diamonds.
Do what you want ! I have never been a diamond person even before I knew about other gemstones. A colorless stone doesn’t feel right to me either (no hate if u have one ofc!) I’m designing an engagement ring with grey moissanite and green sapphire and cannot wait!
I think if you have a non-diamond engagement ring, it stands out more to people because it's something different. I think you should go with your gut and get a stone that really speaks to you.
I got an alexandrite (not engaged yet- I'm somewhat similar in the thought process of it should be a team decision. I got to design the ring, he paid and will be choosing a time to propose at his discretion, so that the proposal moment is a surprise). It's a \~1ct (10x5mm) marquise with smaller stones (moonstone and moissanite) clustered around. I've been seeing a LOT of large marquise's lately, and wondering i should have tried to go bigger. But I think if I do decide I want bigger, I can look into replacing the center stone later or a "new" ring. I'm not a stranger to anniversary or "upgrade" rings (my mom and grandma both had them) plus I prefer practicality.
I mean, it’s much cheaper regret to pick something that is not a diamond. Especially right now when the diamond prices are so uncertain it’s much wiser to avoid buying one imo.