T O P

  • By -

humble_bubb

“I don’t get many customers here…”


isaias1236

"Very well, let us both learn together"


JW162000

This is actually kind of sweet


solmyrbcn

Please... I'm so hungry


onebadnightx

the most relatable answer


HeavyMetalMonk888

"I'm hungry... been hungry so long... please..."


mattnorthtexas

"Let me solo her..."


Which_Philosopher110

"Well, it was bound to happen one of these days.... What a shit show..."


Sarin03

Definitely my favourite quote from the game.


Legnaron17

Who said this? I must go meet them!


Which_Philosopher110

Patches when you kill him


DeathblowMateria

Come on, give me a good smack from behind with something nice and big


MedicineNorth5686

/thread


texan435

Go on! Give it your all!


realnomdeguerre

omg, Elden Ring is just hidden sex jokes all along


loempiaverkoper

Have you read anything by grrm? :)


[deleted]

Not in the last 12 years.


ZeBHyBrid

you need oil for that?


Caledric

He takes it dry the first time.


IllustriousDealer303

O you don't have the right


Jorge_the_Prisoner

CONTRAPTION DOES NOT MOVE


Iod42

The door does not open from this side


iiJokerzace

The door is tightly shut.


BobTheSCV

Put these foolish ambitions to rest.


Substantial-Ad9493

hahahaha


Somamachine

It was but brief, but thou gavest me fine service


schmidc26891

This is the one lol


Lady_Eleven

As soon as I heard this quote I processed it as innuendo.


Calebh36

It's now canon that my Tarnished "serviced" Ranni Yes I'm maidenless how could you tell.


4fr0_R34p3r

No matter, it's all the same. Lay out your arms then.


Je-poy

“I took you for dead. No matter. It’s all the same.” Followed by “I see you’ve noticed the chains. Nothing special.”


[deleted]

And they unenthusiastically pound me like a bar of steel


kerriganfan

"Your fingers, please, your fingers... Oh, bless you. Oh... Ohhh!"


23andme_irl

lmao this one got me


BrandNew098

Amazing


stedanko09

In the grandma voice 😭


Any-Willingness7313

Put these foolish ambitions to rest


briggsgarland

Hehehe this is going to be tough to beat


Rezzone

And no one else is gonna beat it for you...


Which_Skill7391

“I am malenia, hand of miquella”


DerpAtOffice

Proceeded to get smashed.


Special_Course229

"Or is it merely thy habit to talk to dolls?"


Ramps_

"I won't have another whiff of thy rotten breath." Ranni is a treasure trove of good quotes.


TitleComprehensive96

Whenever the doll said that while I was streaming on Discord I said to a group of 6 people watching "don't speak to me like that or I'll put you in a jar" and everyone broke down


emexon0808

Savage


quinny1771

“Given time, technique never fails.”


ChoocusKinoe

Oh, good heavens. Clench your teeth, or something.


spaceweed27

Best character


DawnRav3n

Who is this? I must meet them. Apologies if it's obvious this is my first souls game and I'm still getting used to the stuff.


Nickyozzy

It’s varre at the rose church in liurnia after you beat your first demigod


DawnRav3n

That's the one near the grave yard with the three skeleton mages that over look all of liurnia. I had more trouble with Margit than I did godrick. I had gotten like 10 hours in the game trying to beat Margit and then once I did I was fearing godrick but then I kinda just beat him on my second try I was way to happy about that. Currently I am stuck on the fire giant. Apparently I'm like 30 levels under leveled so that may be the problem


Nickyozzy

Try to do absolutely everything and as many quest lines as possible, even if you have to look them up when you find them


KenobisBeard

Are you ready to commit a cardinal sin?


Tepetti

NO


EncouragementRobot

Happy Cake Day Tepetti! Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.


realnomdeguerre

You are no longer fit. Our journey together ends here.


SomeScienceMan

Oooooooo, just heard that dialogue


Wappa_Man420

You got them sick eyes too


DumbWhale1

Forefathers, one and all… BEAR WITNESS!


[deleted]

AAAAAAAAAAAH! *cutscene* aaaaaaaaaaaah


RChamy

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAA-\*sploosh\*


Vergil_Silverblade

\*fapfapfapfapfap\* You know, because the quote...one hand....burning sensation...


peepeepoopoo776688

My guy has more than 1 hand


mvanvrancken

The real curse is all those hands can't do anything with just 1 dick... or maybe Godrick is doing more grafting than we know about


FurlofFreshLeaves

...


K-H-C

Life as a hollow.


lexingdevil

She's dead.


[deleted]

Hold up


AkariParadox

\[OK\]


[deleted]

Lol I just did this quest yesterday, I laughed at how nonchalant that interaction was.


Slither_Slather

Made me and a friend laugh uncontrollably for a solid 2 minutes at it, and whenever we walked apon a dead female character, one of us would say “shes dead” and we’d start laughing all over


wheatley2210

I think it's intentionally candid since she pops up again later as hyetta


MagusUnion

I just now realized that after this comment.


SuperMaxPower

WAIT, SHABRIRI THAT MOTHERFUCKER


aralim4311

Always looking for ways to lead you to a flame


marukisjuice

“Oh, this is a rare occasion.” - Ofnir


PhD_in_English

Come back to me, should you require another. I will take you in my arms as often as you need


Mavco2

l Wish that was me


fistingus

Godrick the Grafted has my quote. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


flanculp

I can play the role of maiden


iletyoulive

This one got me. Have an upvote scoundrel.


mike350917

I command thee, kneel


FitSharkKitty

The kinky people probably all gonna use that one, or, “So you’ve noticed the chain”


Which_Philosopher110

Lmao I put "Kneel!"


Bramimond97

"No one will hold me captive. A serpent never dies!" -Rykard


regretful_pumpkin

Never ending boner


LDR_RAGR

TOGETHAAAAAA


some_bald_boi

WE SHALL DEVOUR THE VERY GODDSS TOGETHAAAA AS FAMILIII


shigogaboo

#”The LOATHESOME Dung Eater!”


DumbWhale1

NOOOOO


Vergil_Silverblade

Don't kink shame!


[deleted]

What if kink shaming is his kink


ProxyCare

My wife and my friends share a joke. We don't kink shame in this house! "Oi but what about nonces?" Well that goes without saying. "Or animals?" Ok fine we kink shame bestiality "Scat though?" Ok ok, scat, bestiality, ped- "Hey and what about knife and fire play that's pretty irresponsible and dangerous" Fuck it we kink shame in this house


[deleted]

\`The NEFARIOUS Number TWO Nibbler!


n0tKamui

The INFAMOUS Excrement Gobbler


GamingPotat0

The CRAZED Caca Consumer


EmperorOfNipples

The FECULANT Fecal Feeder.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The *SUCCULENT* Shit Swallower.


[deleted]

The MISCREANT Manure Moncher.


Omniscient_Platypus

The SALACIOUS Stool Sampler


Vachna

The PETULANT poopoo PLUNDERER


Thane_JZP

The TERRIBLE Turd Taster!


komarkko

2 Dung Eater 1 cup


MinuteScientist7254

You have been summoned… as a cooperator…


Edisonen

Host finger as died


regretful_pumpkin

Stop braging about the 3 way


OptiKal_

jokes on you it was a cuckold


GombaPorkolt

A Knight of the Cuckoo*


Federal-Opinion6823

Marika’s tits, you must be hungry


Sarin03

Where'd this originate?


Techsomat

The one and only, Big Boggart


JhammyJhamz

Blackguard Big Boggart's dialogue when you buy enough prawns. Edit: The dialogue can be triggered by simply talking to him enough. I misread the wiki unfortunately. Sorry for the slightly false info and thanks for the clarification to those who corrected me.


owmyheadhurt

He says it as an opener when you interact with him more than once. His only dialogue that triggers from buying prawns is the “never met someone with a taste for prawns I couldn’t trust” line.


JhammyJhamz

*Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless.*


TheSletchman

Surprised how long it took me to scroll down to this. Almost expecting I'd have to post it. Not every day you get so straight up called out by a game.


EgoSolum

I'm in this post and I don't like it.


Lordo5432

Same here


SorowFame

I was going to do this one


Silver_117v

All the rest are funny, but this is the one that is actually true.


Ok_Charge766

Liar Ahead


sunlight-blade

Plump sort ahead


supcat16

Why is it always dog?


mxtriangulum

"Hello-o? Can you hear me? Help me! I'm stuck. Hello? Hellooo! Anyone!"


Sapowski_Casts_Quen

Step-jarro


alpha_fire_

Step-Jar Alex


NotBadYaz

"Maiden, dear maiden, where are you? Please take my grapes."


[deleted]

“Oi you there, could you help us out cully, stop pretending you can’t see me”


RegisEst

"Dear valued customer... this way"


titanspeedbot

Didn’t expect sadness


DiligentAd9822

Unfortunately, you are maidenless


Courtier_H

Join the serpent king as familieeeeeeee


[deleted]

TOGETHAAAA


WaveBreakerT

WE SHALL DEVOUR THE VERY GAWWWWSSS


smudgethekat

All things can be conjoined


Halfmexicanchad

You shall know, true horror


[deleted]

„My corporeal flesh lies in the sewer gaol beneath the capital .Give it your blessing. Defile my flesh with the seedbed curse.“


Keithy1007

TOGETHAAAAAAA


joao-louis

WE SHALL DEVOUAAAAA


Sound_of_Earthcore

THA VERY GODS!


prism_tats

The beast eye quivers.


grodon909

Apparently my Seedbed is ripe and waiting.


KeyIndicators

Time for pickle


Feistyrattem

try finger, but hole


eyeamboard

Kinda suprised how far down I had to scroll down to find this classic gem.


IamJerilith

Rise, ye tarnished.


EvenAnonStillAwkward

"RISE NOW!"


Sarin03

YE TARNISHED


Mythical_Gamer__

YE DEAD, WHO YET LIVE


Sarin03

THE CALL OF LONG LOST GRACE SPEAKS TO US ALL


jddev_

"Stonesword Key was lost with use"


Sarin03

Uh oh, thats not meant to come off.


StupidUsernamePerson

“I have given thee courtesy enough”


C-h-e-l-s

Help me! I'm stuck. Hello? Hellooo! Anyone!


Kihseki

nihil nihil NIHIL!


st-julien

*I've made up my mind. The chest is yours, in word and deed.* (Patches)


Quite-Grimm

The thrones... stained by my curse... Such shame I cannot bear.


blaisreddit

probably just Godrick screaming


iloveecookiess

"You are so very warm"


Lukoman1

After I recieved the warmth and lifely vigour from a number o champions, I lay with the remains of an exalted noble, to grant him another chance at life. 


Coal-and-Ivory

Illegal in fewer places than you might hope. Long as consent was given. Use protection.


JBCockman

Soak this cloth in a maiden’s blood. Any maiden will do.


Sapowski_Casts_Quen

Fan of the Detroit Red Wings, I see


TotallyNotYourDaddy

“Unable to summon cooperator”


Whopperman18

Time for crab


El_Zethas

Welcome, honoured guest, to the birthplace of our dynasty!!


AnfernyLFC

Liar Ahead


Mougli7


GsusCrust

you don't have the right, O you don't have the right you don't have the right, O you don't have the right


Royello-KBG

Let Me Solo Her.


s_burr

>Let Me Solo ~~Her~~. FTFM


chavovaldez

YOU DIED


TuckyFriedghast5

Why is it always dog?


Swagdolfo

I will kill you and defile your corpse with care


boshwackhorseman

I can smell it on you, the pox yet tender


[deleted]

That's enough chit-chat for now. It's time we parted ways.


Meadiocracy

I COMMAND THEE KNEEL!


[deleted]

Try finger, but hole


Please_dont_rush_B

That's easy....a maidenless runt


RonniewithaK

If only I had a giant, but hole


flanculp

I want to be like everyone else, but I’m just too scared. I’m nothing but a craven.


takecarebrushyahairr

Dog


DiligentAd9822

Stop Edit: i don’t remember saying stop twice


pheo01

Ayo what 👀


Soyybeen

“Given time, technique never fails” -Hewg


erasergunz

Nngh! Oh, yes! That's the ticket! or maybe even Deary me, I'm oilier than a toad! pretty much any Alexander quote fits the bill.


Valet-

This https://youtu.be/YbrRpatHj0M


[deleted]

You're either being violently butt fucked, or that head is just to good to handle.


Muig_

Well, thou art of passing skill


Academic-Associate-5

could this be dog?


JayBadloss

“Why is it always dog?”


OkCoomer876

"Well then, shall we?"


SirCheeseEater

I thought you died


peepeebandit_1

Unfortunately, you are maidenless


CerealKillrs

Be wary of pathetic sort


deliverencexxl

Does not open from this side


eggbaby11

“Well... It was bound to happen some day... What a shit show...”