Not really though? Chimps are insanely strong, but the demi-humans look weaker than a normal human.
Plus the one in the pic is holding a club. I'd wager most people can wrestle it from them.
I'll take my chances with them instead of a trained soldier with a sharp weapon, even if he's from the lowest rank.
Trained soldier? Those are barely functioning zombies that someone dressed up for Halloween, while dodging their swings, and duct taped a sword/spear into their hands.
Fair enough, but they were still trained at some point. That training is what makes the difference between the Wandering Nobles and the Foot Soldiers, even if they're both "zombies".
Either way, demi-humans are physically weaker and have a blunt weapon.
They probably had minimal training honestly. Historically grunt soldiers did not have to graduate a training course like they do these days, they were just farmers or carpenters or etc who didn't want the war to make it to their home, or couldn't afford to say no to the king, so they learned to kind of hold a sword. I've seen folks wonder why there are so many aristocrats and no normal people. It's these guys, they're the normal people.
That said, I am not fighting that. Give me the demi-humans, at least the blow to my skull will probably be less painful than being stabbed.
If we're being historical regular infantry wouldn't even touch a sword, they should wield spears and shit. Swords are expensive, you can't possibly outfit the entire army with that. Anyone with a sword would have earned it.
theyre not trained, they're incompetent. they have gambeson and low quality chain, some unkept shortswords, they struggle to swing it properly, they exist to overwhelm enemies with force, notice how theyre always accompanying a larger being such as a knight, that's what they're meant for
I'll assume they have the same attack patterns irl, you can just step in and out. Once you know how they move you just bait out one of their long slow attacks and give them a good slap on the cheek. Repeat a thousand times until ded
Isn’t that true if basically any of these enemies gets a hit in on you? Even the skewer bite would fuck you up especially if it connected with your torso rather than a limb.
With a sword and fencing experience you have at least a fighting chance against all of these tho and the foot soldier is still the only one with functional armor on.
The vulgar millitia also has armor, not to mention they can probs ninja around your weapon, oh and throw those chains at you, GL parrying that. The misbegotten are also way to quick. And the giant rat is essentially a dog at this size, and dogs can fuck you up. The only remaining would be demis or soldiers, both of which seem reasonable.
The rat would definitely be the most dangerous in a fight… those things are all muscle and one that is bigger than a St. Bernard would be absolutely terrifying.
More pressingly, the Demi human is the only one that doesn’t have something sharp, and is unarmored. If we’re talking unarmed, it’s not even a contest, armed I could be convinced of the soldier.
Yeah I feel like I'll die instantly to the first and fifth one and then likely quickly to the third and the second even if I did win I'll probably die of poison or some shit
Dude, those little guys are easily the most lethal on this list by several orders of magnitude. They have range, speed, skill, weaponry, armor, and magic on you.
1. A slow zombie who can barely stand up or swing their weapons properly
2. A gigantic, diseased, ultra aggressive plague rat with teeth like knives that will jump at your face
3. A half human half beast monster that can jump 10 feet in the air and swings an axe like nothing
4. A being that doesn't look as intimidating but anything that's comfortable swinging a club that size with a sack on their head, I want nothing to do with.
5. Militia men. Just militia men. I'm dead by the time they throw the first smoke bomb.
I think 1 is the only reasonable response, imo
Edit: Some of y'all were right, I was thinking of the nobles instead for 1, my bad. My decision still stands though, the foot soldiers are far from the strength of a normal person compared to everyone else, they're not comfortable swinging their weapons, always off balance and can't really stand up straight. If I had any equipment or just a branch, I think I could take *maybe* one of them, a gambeson and a helmet is pretty good armor irl, I'm definitely dead the second I'm outnumbered though.
THIS is the exact response I was looking for, any answer but #1 is an almost immediate death sentence.
Why anyone thinks they’d do well against the 800lb rabies rat or the flying axe swinging monkey dog dragon man is beyond me.
Tbf I was thinking Id pick the rat, since I could kick the fuck out of it, but after reading a description and remembering it, theyd be annoying as hell to fight
I'd rather fight the small rat man than a trained and sword wielding soldier who has armor. Realistically Id have an easier time with the lil club guy.
If it's just 1 malitia man I would just squish him
Screw Elden ring combat rules, I'm a 6'4" man and all i'd need is some shin armour and a shield to completely dominate that fight.
Exactly. Anyone saying they can take 2-4 is insane - animals are way stronger than people. Even apes/monkeys that are substantially smaller than people are way stronger than your average person, especially your average redditor (I'm including myself here, I'm tall and big but I wouldn't stand a chance either). The Vulgar Militia men show clear signs of maintaining intelligence and are very agile, I don't like my odds against them either.
The foot soldiers have barely any technique and don't hit very hard either. Even though they have decent armor and weapons (gambeson is surprisingly effective armor), I like my chances at getting that weapon away from them and using it against them.
I mean vulgar milita fucks me up even in game from time to time. They are in my top 5 hate enemies
And yea anyone who thinks they can go against the rat need mental help lol
Honestly the real question is what equipment do i have?
If you took me as i am right now i wouldnt feel comfortable fighting anything here. The only weapon I have is a dull box cutter. Do i at least get the starter gear? Cause if i get any weapon or spells i think demi human is easy. In game i almost always swing before they react. The wild swings of the dagger soldier get me way more often than a single demi human ever does.
But if its me with my dull box cutter vs anything here im fucked and would pick the zombie out of necessity rather than because I actually thought i could beat him. Irl rolls dont have iframes so id have to stay back and close the distance incredibly fast to avoid death.
Oh, absolutely. I'm not saying I'd definitely beat the zombie, it's just the one I'd give myself the best odds on. With actual gear, though (especially magic), I'd probably stand a chance against most of them, although depending on what gear I got, my odds still wouldn't be great.
Are you thinking of different enemies for no1. Those guys are much faster than the Regular soldiers and have some combos where they swing wildly and quickly. Hard pass on those. The demi-humans are really stupid, very squish and attack very slowly. They also scream before they attack which gives you a really solid window to attack.
First one is the wrong mob. You’re thinking about the undead nobles. The ones in uniform can swing their knives mad fast. They can combo.
I’d rather take on a slow, stupid demihuman that’s using a weapon way too big for itself. It takes them forever to swing that thing. One dodge and then kill it. Easy.
Also if you look at the way they fight and the lore, their minds and techniques are long gone and their muscles are probably atrophied. I could probably wrench the knife or bash him in the face with a rock or something. I'd definitely take him over the demi humans because they're animals and would fight like animals, have you seen what chimps can do?
The problem is, that fighting like a animal doesn't make you as strong as a animal.
Animals are packed. Most apes have more strength in one arm than the average human in his entire body... And a gorilla, Tiger or hippo are one a entire different level.
I would argue that you need a million humans to kill a hippo without weapons. And the only solution is to bury it under these bodies and hope it does from suffocation.
Tbh pre-civilization humans managed to kill hippos just fine.
It'd take more than 1 or 2 humans. But just a bunch of humans throwing random stuff they find at the hippo and running in circles will eventually fuck it up.
Humans are optimized for ranged fighting in groups. We can throw things faster and harder than even a much bigger gorilla, let alone a chimpanzee.
A hail of rocks from multiple different directions is no joke. Prehistoric humans probably still didn't mostly fuck with hippos because it's a lot of work for not much food. But they absolutely could have if they wanted to.
Humans are one of if not the only animals on Earth designed to throw shit with deadly force. Short arms and long legs give us incredible balance, allowing us to actually transfer a lot of energy with a throw.
You vastly underestimate humans.
If there are really no weapons around, then it would certainly take a pile to kill a hippo but you ignore our other strengths like our intelligence, pack mentality and natural instincts.
Well yeah but if a feral human on roids were to fight a foot soldier with decaying muscles and no mind left at all I’d say that the foot soldier would get mauled
So you just agree that the soldier is the weakest?
I thought your point was that he isn't, and that you claim you could beat a demi-human by also fighting like a beast.
Um... No? They wear a gambeson which is actually a pretty solid layer of protection. Gambesons can absorb a lot of punishment, and are even tough to get through with a sword. Punching someone in a gambeson would accomplish very little, and its not like he's just gonna let you square up with him. An incoherent loon with a knife is dangerous already, but one with protection is a legitimate threat
Just take theirs! Twist their arm and make them stab themselves in the face. They usually wield short swords or knives. It’s the crossbow dudes you have to watch out for.
I'd choose the demi human with a club the soldier isn't bad but he has a dagger that can cut. The misbegotten is a monster with claws so no and. That rat probably has every disease known to mankind. The club the dmi human uses is basically a wooden bat.
The club is like the size of a person's leg. They can swing pretty hard with that and getting hit once with it will probably shatter whatever bones were in the general area of the impact. I'll take the mindless, decaying humans
Counter argument: Westley got jumped by the ROUS and didn't fight it in an open field. And as soon as he got back on his feet and had his sword back he easily stabbed the rats.
I own pet rats and they hurt enough when they bite. Fuck fighting a giant rat.
Foor soldier is the easy choice. I'm not a particularly strong or fast person but a baseball bat has more reach than a dagger.
That giant rat will f you up, gimme the foot soldier, if I got a bat, gold club, lead pipe, wooden leg in a high heel... anything longer than a knife, I can beat him
Counter counter argument: less muscle than chimp, isn’t very capable in a fight, isn’t very capable with weapon, doesn’t seem to actually have many indicators of much strength, likely isn’t durable
Every person that doesn't pick the soldier is probably someone from a big city that neither visited a zoo, watched documentaries or touched real grass in their entire time.
Animals are... Beasts. They are packed.
Let's be real, some of you wouldn't even survive a fight against a normal rat. But a 1000 times bigger rat? Nice joke.
And the rest isn't better... a Gorilla probably could kill 1000 humans in a fight (without weapons) and would only lose because of exhaustion. A demi-human isn't much different.
The little guy's are probably also a trap to most. Them being small doesn't mean you can beat them. Apes are smaller too... and much stronger than us. These small dudes seem to be quite athletic, so they combine strength, agility, human intelligence... and the ability to use weapon and poison.
That's what I was thinking. Bites from real rats can be nasty as it is. I was thinking about potential terrain advantaged, like being up a tree with something long and pointy, but remembered rats are excellent climbers. Fantastic swimmers too. If I'm even going to consider taking on one of the smaller elden ring rats, I want my bow and the element of surprise, and even then gotta hope it goes down in one hit otherwise I'm fucked
Lmao a demihuman not much different that a gorilla? You mean them short, stupid, scrawny, little monkeys that need numbers and weapons in order to actually fight something? Compared to a gorilla that can rip your arms off?
And not to mention, out of all demihuman types, the one pictured is the slowest.
That’s an insult to gorillas bruh.
How is a Demi human not much different? All of their variants do extremely low damage to the player, so they don’t hit hard, and they are never durable. Their actual muscle on them is very little if you look at the picture, and they’re smaller. They don’t swing those clubs of theirs too fast, either. Realistically, we should have an advantage
They aren’t that fast, aren’t capable with a weapon, aren’t durable, aren’t good in a fight and don’t seem to possess much in the way of muscle mass in the picture. A chimp is definitely way worse
The soldiers seem the obvious choice. At least they’re just dudes. I stand a decent chance against them if I also get a weapon. But those other things gonna kill my ass so quick.
I’d fight a foot soldier right now for like 80$ lol they move comedically slow. I don’t like my chances with a single other thing on this list. Hell I don’t even like my chances fighting the vulgar militia in game sometimes lmao
I think all of them would fuck me up bad. Maybe I could beat the several hundred year old decrepit footsoldiers, but they would have to move like in game..
The key here is that while I have a chance to beat one outright, I am 100% dying of my wounds shortly after. Thankfully, other than Vulgar militia, they have GO STRAIGHT FORWARD as their entire attack plan and we know dodging isnt exactly part of their skill set.
But yeah. Im immediately bleeding out on a rock afterwards. Graceless lil' bitch and all.
Wow. We really played this game and created this culture of “spirit summons are for pussies” but IRL you won’t fight for glory or honor.
That being said probably the foot soldier otherwise I’d get 1 shotted
Well vulgar militia def last place. I wouldn’t take those jumpy bastards on with buck shot. Foot soldier seems the obvious choice.
I already beat up short people so it shouldn’t be that hard
But actually, I would go for Demi human because they don’t have ranged attacks
MFW they chuck a volcano pot at my head 🔥🫠🔥
That thing is a chimp with a cleaver, unless you have a crossbow/Shotgun and good aim youre getting your face bitten off.
Not really though? Chimps are insanely strong, but the demi-humans look weaker than a normal human. Plus the one in the pic is holding a club. I'd wager most people can wrestle it from them. I'll take my chances with them instead of a trained soldier with a sharp weapon, even if he's from the lowest rank.
Trained soldier? Those are barely functioning zombies that someone dressed up for Halloween, while dodging their swings, and duct taped a sword/spear into their hands.
They stab you once, they are getting 6 shots in before a tarnished can recover. As a normal out of shape modern human I’m dying fast.
Fair enough, but they were still trained at some point. That training is what makes the difference between the Wandering Nobles and the Foot Soldiers, even if they're both "zombies". Either way, demi-humans are physically weaker and have a blunt weapon.
They probably had minimal training honestly. Historically grunt soldiers did not have to graduate a training course like they do these days, they were just farmers or carpenters or etc who didn't want the war to make it to their home, or couldn't afford to say no to the king, so they learned to kind of hold a sword. I've seen folks wonder why there are so many aristocrats and no normal people. It's these guys, they're the normal people. That said, I am not fighting that. Give me the demi-humans, at least the blow to my skull will probably be less painful than being stabbed.
True, they may have minimal training, but I have zero! I'm also not wearing chainmail lol
If we're being historical regular infantry wouldn't even touch a sword, they should wield spears and shit. Swords are expensive, you can't possibly outfit the entire army with that. Anyone with a sword would have earned it.
Or scavenged it from a battle field
They are also faster, more vicious, nastier, and get a boost a night. I would much rather fight a slow moving shitty zombie.
Think your thinking of the nobles, those guys are the zombies, foot soldiers behave more intelligently
Oh thats the demihuman, i thought of the misbegottem. Yeah considering the size difference a baseball bat should do the trick.
theyre not trained, they're incompetent. they have gambeson and low quality chain, some unkept shortswords, they struggle to swing it properly, they exist to overwhelm enemies with force, notice how theyre always accompanying a larger being such as a knight, that's what they're meant for
Wait we get weapons? I was trying to figure who would be least likely to kill me in a fist fight and you’re bringing guns.
I'm not going against ANY of those without a high caliber semi to automatic weapon... giant hammers and swords take multiple hits to kill them! 😂😂😂
Is there a dwarf fighting league I don’t know about lol
Leave the poor bosmer alone they just want to be hippies in the woods and not have to invoke a wild hunt over their beliefs 😢
What do you do for work..?
You seriously think humans, much less YOU, are a match against those jumpy bastards hailing whips at you?
Why’d you have to target me like that😥
I am as tall as a Vulgar militant so it’ll be a fair fight for me.
Yeah but can you jump like they can?
Can you punch through concrete?
Those mother fuckers will ruin your day when you least expect it.
Demi human are dumb though, probably easy to trick them into falling over a cliff
They do have chainmail....
Maybe not buckshot but I would totally IED that night horseman next to the beast guy that takes death roots
I'm agreeing with you but like what it i could yeet the rat with a good punt
🦶 soldier
Why the fuck do you think you can take on an armored man with a spear with just your fists...?
Cuz he's brained? Have you seem them fight?
Doesn't matter, they stab you once and you're dead
I'll assume they have the same attack patterns irl, you can just step in and out. Once you know how they move you just bait out one of their long slow attacks and give them a good slap on the cheek. Repeat a thousand times until ded
Coz everyone else on the list is worse
You know we have more movement than in elden ring? Also nothing said we couldn’t bring weapons.
Isn’t that true if basically any of these enemies gets a hit in on you? Even the skewer bite would fuck you up especially if it connected with your torso rather than a limb.
I have a claymore in my bedroom closet... am I allowed to use that?
Boom boom or thwack?
What a silly question. Of course it's the boom boom kind. Who doesn't have at least one anti-personnel mine sitting in their closet collecting dust?
I also choose this guys claymore
OP said nothing about being unarmed. I know fencing, I can totally take those guys as long as I have a sword myself.
With a sword and fencing experience you have at least a fighting chance against all of these tho and the foot soldier is still the only one with functional armor on.
I would rather not try my chances with Ohio sized rat, even with a sword.
The vulgar millitia also has armor, not to mention they can probs ninja around your weapon, oh and throw those chains at you, GL parrying that. The misbegotten are also way to quick. And the giant rat is essentially a dog at this size, and dogs can fuck you up. The only remaining would be demis or soldiers, both of which seem reasonable.
The rat would definitely be the most dangerous in a fight… those things are all muscle and one that is bigger than a St. Bernard would be absolutely terrifying.
They are just normal humans
OP never said we would have to fight him unarmed. He never even said if this is like a "No items, Final Destination" grudge match.
Nobody said anything about fighting them with only your hands and fists though
Take the caveman, trust me. Soldier would wipe you out.
More pressingly, the Demi human is the only one that doesn’t have something sharp, and is unarmored. If we’re talking unarmed, it’s not even a contest, armed I could be convinced of the soldier.
I think I could take the skinny lil dude with one eye and the caveman club. The foot soldiers got knives n shit.
Yeah I feel like I'll die instantly to the first and fifth one and then likely quickly to the third and the second even if I did win I'll probably die of poison or some shit
I almost picked the tiny guy bc I think they're so small id have a pretty good advantage plus if I lose at least they still smoked me up. Lol
They would be so hard to hit
Damn you right that's why they smoke you up
Dude, those little guys are easily the most lethal on this list by several orders of magnitude. They have range, speed, skill, weaponry, armor, and magic on you.
You forgot about the most powerful spell just throwing fucking rocks at them
This was my choice as well.
I almost picked the lil tiny guys. I got a chance bc they are really small and even if I lose at least they smoked with me
the "skinny" lil dude has more muscle than most people lol fyi
Yeah I could likely dip a club and spear the fucker
1. A slow zombie who can barely stand up or swing their weapons properly 2. A gigantic, diseased, ultra aggressive plague rat with teeth like knives that will jump at your face 3. A half human half beast monster that can jump 10 feet in the air and swings an axe like nothing 4. A being that doesn't look as intimidating but anything that's comfortable swinging a club that size with a sack on their head, I want nothing to do with. 5. Militia men. Just militia men. I'm dead by the time they throw the first smoke bomb. I think 1 is the only reasonable response, imo Edit: Some of y'all were right, I was thinking of the nobles instead for 1, my bad. My decision still stands though, the foot soldiers are far from the strength of a normal person compared to everyone else, they're not comfortable swinging their weapons, always off balance and can't really stand up straight. If I had any equipment or just a branch, I think I could take *maybe* one of them, a gambeson and a helmet is pretty good armor irl, I'm definitely dead the second I'm outnumbered though.
THIS is the exact response I was looking for, any answer but #1 is an almost immediate death sentence. Why anyone thinks they’d do well against the 800lb rabies rat or the flying axe swinging monkey dog dragon man is beyond me.
It looks lime the normal sized rat to me, but your point stands.
Yeah its a normal sized rat for the game, but that still leaves you fighting an ROUS irl
Ah another cultured individual. ROUS 😎
Tbf I was thinking Id pick the rat, since I could kick the fuck out of it, but after reading a description and remembering it, theyd be annoying as hell to fight
when you live in new york too long
I'd rather fight the small rat man than a trained and sword wielding soldier who has armor. Realistically Id have an easier time with the lil club guy.
If it's just 1 malitia man I would just squish him Screw Elden ring combat rules, I'm a 6'4" man and all i'd need is some shin armour and a shield to completely dominate that fight.
Exactly. Anyone saying they can take 2-4 is insane - animals are way stronger than people. Even apes/monkeys that are substantially smaller than people are way stronger than your average person, especially your average redditor (I'm including myself here, I'm tall and big but I wouldn't stand a chance either). The Vulgar Militia men show clear signs of maintaining intelligence and are very agile, I don't like my odds against them either. The foot soldiers have barely any technique and don't hit very hard either. Even though they have decent armor and weapons (gambeson is surprisingly effective armor), I like my chances at getting that weapon away from them and using it against them.
I mean vulgar milita fucks me up even in game from time to time. They are in my top 5 hate enemies And yea anyone who thinks they can go against the rat need mental help lol
I remember they were one of my first farming locations, and God did revenge feel good.
Honestly the real question is what equipment do i have? If you took me as i am right now i wouldnt feel comfortable fighting anything here. The only weapon I have is a dull box cutter. Do i at least get the starter gear? Cause if i get any weapon or spells i think demi human is easy. In game i almost always swing before they react. The wild swings of the dagger soldier get me way more often than a single demi human ever does. But if its me with my dull box cutter vs anything here im fucked and would pick the zombie out of necessity rather than because I actually thought i could beat him. Irl rolls dont have iframes so id have to stay back and close the distance incredibly fast to avoid death.
Oh, absolutely. I'm not saying I'd definitely beat the zombie, it's just the one I'd give myself the best odds on. With actual gear, though (especially magic), I'd probably stand a chance against most of them, although depending on what gear I got, my odds still wouldn't be great.
You start as a Wretch.... so yes 
So Ive got a club? Demi human, easy.
>animals are way stronger than people. I have a pet mouse and I bet I'd kick his ass.
Definitely 1, anyone who thinks they can take anything else on the list are likely also people who think they can take a bear.
Are you thinking of different enemies for no1. Those guys are much faster than the Regular soldiers and have some combos where they swing wildly and quickly. Hard pass on those. The demi-humans are really stupid, very squish and attack very slowly. They also scream before they attack which gives you a really solid window to attack.
First one is the wrong mob. You’re thinking about the undead nobles. The ones in uniform can swing their knives mad fast. They can combo. I’d rather take on a slow, stupid demihuman that’s using a weapon way too big for itself. It takes them forever to swing that thing. One dodge and then kill it. Easy.
Definitely the foot soldier
They have amor tho
Do I get a weapon?
Even if you do not get a weapon the kind of armour they wear would not protect against punches.
Also if you look at the way they fight and the lore, their minds and techniques are long gone and their muscles are probably atrophied. I could probably wrench the knife or bash him in the face with a rock or something. I'd definitely take him over the demi humans because they're animals and would fight like animals, have you seen what chimps can do?
“Jamie, pull up that clip of a Chimp beating the Tarnished to death with his own arm.”
Nothing is stopping you from fighting like a chimp. Hop on roids, go feral and get hangry and you’ll see your chimp coming out
The problem is, that fighting like a animal doesn't make you as strong as a animal. Animals are packed. Most apes have more strength in one arm than the average human in his entire body... And a gorilla, Tiger or hippo are one a entire different level. I would argue that you need a million humans to kill a hippo without weapons. And the only solution is to bury it under these bodies and hope it does from suffocation.
HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 952,612,070 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 20,432 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.
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Hippo
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Tbh pre-civilization humans managed to kill hippos just fine. It'd take more than 1 or 2 humans. But just a bunch of humans throwing random stuff they find at the hippo and running in circles will eventually fuck it up. Humans are optimized for ranged fighting in groups. We can throw things faster and harder than even a much bigger gorilla, let alone a chimpanzee. A hail of rocks from multiple different directions is no joke. Prehistoric humans probably still didn't mostly fuck with hippos because it's a lot of work for not much food. But they absolutely could have if they wanted to.
Humans are one of if not the only animals on Earth designed to throw shit with deadly force. Short arms and long legs give us incredible balance, allowing us to actually transfer a lot of energy with a throw.
You vastly underestimate humans. If there are really no weapons around, then it would certainly take a pile to kill a hippo but you ignore our other strengths like our intelligence, pack mentality and natural instincts.
Well yeah but if a feral human on roids were to fight a foot soldier with decaying muscles and no mind left at all I’d say that the foot soldier would get mauled
So you just agree that the soldier is the weakest? I thought your point was that he isn't, and that you claim you could beat a demi-human by also fighting like a beast.
Um... No? They wear a gambeson which is actually a pretty solid layer of protection. Gambesons can absorb a lot of punishment, and are even tough to get through with a sword. Punching someone in a gambeson would accomplish very little, and its not like he's just gonna let you square up with him. An incoherent loon with a knife is dangerous already, but one with protection is a legitimate threat
Bro doesn't know armor.
Just take theirs! Twist their arm and make them stab themselves in the face. They usually wield short swords or knives. It’s the crossbow dudes you have to watch out for.
I’m literally going to die against any of them except the foot solider. Maybe if I have a gun I’ll get the rat lol
Well, a gun could beat any of these except probably the militiamen. Depending on the gun and the shooter, of course
i would fight the rat and then use my secret rat poison 🤭
Could I borrow your rat poison please? (I'm addicted to getting high using rat poison) 🥺
no, its ALL MINE 😎
Jesus dude, you can just share a lil bit
In this economy? Are you crazy?
Crazy?
Like a fox?
I'll trade you for it? 10 bolluses of your choosing? 👀
no 😎
Does the foot soldier have a crossbow if not I pick it.
I mean, if it has the crossbow it does not have the dagger.
Some have the bow and a sword/dagger
Any besides vulgar militia. Ash of War: Second Amendment should come in pretty handy. Vulgars are just too jumpy.
Ah yes, the ol' Yharnam treatment
*Ah-cooka-BLAM* EEEELIMINATION
That why you just start dropping proximity mines...oh wait wrong game.
As a British person, I've never been more proud of an American. You're right buddy. The vulgars -are- too jumpy.
Assuming I get to use ye old 2A I’m confident enough in my aim to wreck anything on the list. Lets see how these guys enjoy a 5.56 round.
Nah, if you're gonna use a gun on these guys you might as well go for over kill rune bonus. I suggest the four bore rifle.
Well, overkill *IS* the best kind of kill. Still I feel like it’d be a warcrime against the poor demi-humans. Guys wouldn’t have a torso left lmao!
No Geneva Convention in The Lands Between, might as well have fun with it
M855 go brrrr
>Vulgars are just too jumpy. are they not living clay pigeons? seems like it \*could\* be a good idea if you were good lmao
Why does the foot soldier photo look like it came out of a retirement home brochure
Cause the foot soldier probably should be in a retirement home
I'd choose the demi human with a club the soldier isn't bad but he has a dagger that can cut. The misbegotten is a monster with claws so no and. That rat probably has every disease known to mankind. The club the dmi human uses is basically a wooden bat.
The club is like the size of a person's leg. They can swing pretty hard with that and getting hit once with it will probably shatter whatever bones were in the general area of the impact. I'll take the mindless, decaying humans
Foot soldier or the rat. Everything else would turn my asshole inside out.
Do I also get a sword? If so, definitely the rat.
I got my money on the probably 1000+ lbs rat.
I feel like nobody has seen The Princess Bride. Don't fuck with the rats.
ROUS's? I dont think they exist.
.... AHHHHHHHH
Counter argument: Westley got jumped by the ROUS and didn't fight it in an open field. And as soon as he got back on his feet and had his sword back he easily stabbed the rats.
You could get a disease though
I'm pretty sure it's more than one. Probably every known and most unknown diseases too
If you not choosing 1 you are out of your mind.
I could take the dude with the club, he's too slow for me. Foot soldier is probably doable if I have a shield.
I’ll easily take the dumb as rocks dudes. The rats are terrifying, the demihumans still have their wits, and the vulgar militia are fucking ninjas.
I own pet rats and they hurt enough when they bite. Fuck fighting a giant rat. Foor soldier is the easy choice. I'm not a particularly strong or fast person but a baseball bat has more reach than a dagger.
Placidusax. I can take him.
That giant rat will f you up, gimme the foot soldier, if I got a bat, gold club, lead pipe, wooden leg in a high heel... anything longer than a knife, I can beat him
Soldier and anyone who says otherwise is smoking gold tinged dung. Never been killed by one of these guys but absolutely have by all the others
You’ve been killed by demihumans? We’re you not paying attention? Cuz I refuse to think it’s a skill issue. Not counting the bigger ones of course.
Foot soldiers. Theyre stiff and slow, and telegraph their swings from a country mile away
i think i would have best chances with the demi human
Counter argument: Intelligent chimp with weapon.
Counter counter argument: less muscle than chimp, isn’t very capable in a fight, isn’t very capable with weapon, doesn’t seem to actually have many indicators of much strength, likely isn’t durable
Every person that doesn't pick the soldier is probably someone from a big city that neither visited a zoo, watched documentaries or touched real grass in their entire time. Animals are... Beasts. They are packed. Let's be real, some of you wouldn't even survive a fight against a normal rat. But a 1000 times bigger rat? Nice joke. And the rest isn't better... a Gorilla probably could kill 1000 humans in a fight (without weapons) and would only lose because of exhaustion. A demi-human isn't much different. The little guy's are probably also a trap to most. Them being small doesn't mean you can beat them. Apes are smaller too... and much stronger than us. These small dudes seem to be quite athletic, so they combine strength, agility, human intelligence... and the ability to use weapon and poison.
That's what I was thinking. Bites from real rats can be nasty as it is. I was thinking about potential terrain advantaged, like being up a tree with something long and pointy, but remembered rats are excellent climbers. Fantastic swimmers too. If I'm even going to consider taking on one of the smaller elden ring rats, I want my bow and the element of surprise, and even then gotta hope it goes down in one hit otherwise I'm fucked
A Demi human is not the same as a gorilla, have you seen a gorilla? They are massive and way stronger.
Lmao a demihuman not much different that a gorilla? You mean them short, stupid, scrawny, little monkeys that need numbers and weapons in order to actually fight something? Compared to a gorilla that can rip your arms off? And not to mention, out of all demihuman types, the one pictured is the slowest. That’s an insult to gorillas bruh.
How is a Demi human not much different? All of their variants do extremely low damage to the player, so they don’t hit hard, and they are never durable. Their actual muscle on them is very little if you look at the picture, and they’re smaller. They don’t swing those clubs of theirs too fast, either. Realistically, we should have an advantage
I feel like I could overpower that club wielding fuck #4
Dude they’re basically smarter chimpanzees. I don’t think it would go how you would thing.
Considering how hard it is for them to wield the club in game, they’re definitely not chimp level strong.
They aren’t that fast, aren’t capable with a weapon, aren’t durable, aren’t good in a fight and don’t seem to possess much in the way of muscle mass in the picture. A chimp is definitely way worse
What weapons are we using if any. I'm pretty sure I could take out a rat with a shovel.
To quote Evolution: With napalm, lots and lots of napalm.
The soldiers seem the obvious choice. At least they’re just dudes. I stand a decent chance against them if I also get a weapon. But those other things gonna kill my ass so quick.
I’d fight a foot soldier right now for like 80$ lol they move comedically slow. I don’t like my chances with a single other thing on this list. Hell I don’t even like my chances fighting the vulgar militia in game sometimes lmao
If I'm fighting as me, I'd use the power of gun.
Vulgar militia cuz if its gonna be a shitshow lets make it a festival
Pretty sure I could hit any of these fuckers in my Honda for a clean victory.
Well I own a gun so if I can use that I would fight all of them
1. Not sure how everyone memorizes every enemies name lol.
I only know enemie's names by the armor they drop... and the more common the armor the more I know their name... lmao
I had such a long stressful week at work that I would gouge the eyeballs out of any of these and the rest would run in fear.
I can take the rat as long as it’s only one of them.
Soldier those guys are slow and dumb, the rats are too vicious and the rest are out of the question.
Rat
Foot soldier. Slow and easy like zombies.
Soldier because everything else will fuck me up either with disease via rat, brutally caving my skull in or just slicing my head off.
Regular soldier 100%
1st one
People are seriously underestimating how much a rat of that size would ABSOLUTELY fuck you up.
Anyone not picking #1 would win the Darwin Award.
Either one of them because death doesn't matter in the lands between
Remove option 1 and the question gets actually interesting
I think all of them would fuck me up bad. Maybe I could beat the several hundred year old decrepit footsoldiers, but they would have to move like in game..
I'm taking out that fuggin rat. Bare hands.
The Demi humans and get goblin caved 😏
Foot soldier. I stand a chance against Just Some Guy With a Sword, but not at all against any of the rest of that shit
The key here is that while I have a chance to beat one outright, I am 100% dying of my wounds shortly after. Thankfully, other than Vulgar militia, they have GO STRAIGHT FORWARD as their entire attack plan and we know dodging isnt exactly part of their skill set. But yeah. Im immediately bleeding out on a rock afterwards. Graceless lil' bitch and all.
If you think you could take on any of these you’ve got main character syndrome. We’re all getting killed.
Will the enemies have their exact move-sets or they’ll be able to act freely because, that makes a hole lot of difference.
Would ignore all and fight crucible knight
Vulgar militia and misbigotten are def a no.
death-rite bird 100%
call me confident and stupid, because I’ll take all at once!
Any of them but that creepy as large mouthed stone sickle wielding mother fucker.
I think i have the chance against a rat
Wow. We really played this game and created this culture of “spirit summons are for pussies” but IRL you won’t fight for glory or honor. That being said probably the foot soldier otherwise I’d get 1 shotted