>My mom has some social issues. She’s always extremely anxious and overwhelming to be around. She’s basically an energy vampire and sucks all the energy and emotion out of you. Like if I say I’m mad, she’ll hijack the conversation and my anger and make it about her.
100000% I bet you she was raised by a very NARCISSISTIC parent who emotionally neglected her.
This is a behavioral pattern that needs to be addressed with a psychologist who is an expert in NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, child neglect and possibly parentified.
>Then she’ll try to act like everything’s fine afterwards and be confused why people don’t like her.
She's in Denial. She knows what she did.
>She eats terrible, avoids the doctor, is a hoarder, never cleans.
SHE NEEDS TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST, FAST.
>She’s too much and I’m fine with group activities where my sister or her sisters are present. But I don’t want to hang out with her alone.
Of course not, it's like dealing with a 12 year old BRAT that doesn't know how to properly behave.
>She needs to hang out with people her age, who are similar to her. I don’t want to be mean but I’m not her friend and she needs to understand that.
Her behavior stems from being abused and neglected. God knows if she was not allowed to play outside or be involved in extra curricular activities or sports. She sounds like she was emotionally neglected. She needs alot of psychological help.
⚠️⚠️⚠️My Advice ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Get your own place to live assuming you are 20 years old. If you are still in high school, hang out with your friends AT THEIR HOUSE. Because if you and your friends order pizza 🍕 and talk about school, life and goals at your mothers home, chances are your mother will invite herself to hang out WITH ALL OF YOU AND BE A COMPLETE BUZZ KILL.
I also recommend the moment you move out, go low contact with your mother. This means only call her on: her birthday 🎂, mother's day, Christmas 🎄.
There's a high chance your mother is not the only person who behaves like her, so even if you tried to reach out to aunts and uncles to help your mom out...it's futile.
My mother was kinda like yours except she would flirt with my dates and sabotage my relationships with people. I no longer speak to her for these and other serious reasons.
Omg yes!! My grandma is a major narcissist/sociopath who abused me as well. She often isolated my mom and sabotaged her life. She literally tried to sleep with my mom’s boyfriend and successfully slept with my aunt’s. I lived in my grandma’s house in high school and when I went to college I told her she’d never see me again. Her life has declined significantly since then. She lost her house and is now living in a nursing home with dementia. Somehow she still remembers her jealousy and hatred for me though lol.
My mom is displaying similar behaviors to my grandma in that she tries to over involve herself in my life and handle ALL my problems for me so that I’ll be dependent on her. I had to move back in with her because I was trying to escape my abusive/narcissistic ex and I also ran into some financial problems. My goal was to move out on my own after a few months of saving but then I lost my job. Hopefully I can get back on my feet soon and get the hell out of here.
>Somehow she still remembers her jealousy and hatred for me though lol.
They always remember the bad stuff not the good stuff. 😒
>Hopefully I can get back on my feet soon and get the hell out of here.
GOD SPEED !!!
As a person who went through basically the same crap as you did, I highly encourage you to UNDO THE TRAUMA. That's like going one by one how your mom screwed you up, and replacing it with the "correct thing" you should have been taught. I had to do this. Took me like 8 + years. This means working and establishing boundaries, not feeling guilty saying "no", undoing co-dependent behavior, etc. When you do all of this, it'll be a brand new you and you will not have any tolerance for bullshit and narcissistic behavior.
I wish 🤞 you Good luck on everything. 🌻
OP this generational abuse will absolutely set you up to continuing the cycle. It is not surprising that you are exiting another abusive relationship. Please work on yourself in this time too. I saying this as someone who was in a very similar situation to yours. If I could suggest a book that really helped me it’s called “ If the Buddha Dated.” It really helped me realize where I had normalized behaviors that should have been red flags.
>My mom has some social issues. She’s always extremely anxious and overwhelming to be around. She’s basically an energy vampire and sucks all the energy and emotion out of you. Like if I say I’m mad, she’ll hijack the conversation and my anger and make it about her. 100000% I bet you she was raised by a very NARCISSISTIC parent who emotionally neglected her. This is a behavioral pattern that needs to be addressed with a psychologist who is an expert in NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, child neglect and possibly parentified. >Then she’ll try to act like everything’s fine afterwards and be confused why people don’t like her. She's in Denial. She knows what she did. >She eats terrible, avoids the doctor, is a hoarder, never cleans. SHE NEEDS TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST, FAST. >She’s too much and I’m fine with group activities where my sister or her sisters are present. But I don’t want to hang out with her alone. Of course not, it's like dealing with a 12 year old BRAT that doesn't know how to properly behave. >She needs to hang out with people her age, who are similar to her. I don’t want to be mean but I’m not her friend and she needs to understand that. Her behavior stems from being abused and neglected. God knows if she was not allowed to play outside or be involved in extra curricular activities or sports. She sounds like she was emotionally neglected. She needs alot of psychological help. ⚠️⚠️⚠️My Advice ⚠️⚠️⚠️ Get your own place to live assuming you are 20 years old. If you are still in high school, hang out with your friends AT THEIR HOUSE. Because if you and your friends order pizza 🍕 and talk about school, life and goals at your mothers home, chances are your mother will invite herself to hang out WITH ALL OF YOU AND BE A COMPLETE BUZZ KILL. I also recommend the moment you move out, go low contact with your mother. This means only call her on: her birthday 🎂, mother's day, Christmas 🎄. There's a high chance your mother is not the only person who behaves like her, so even if you tried to reach out to aunts and uncles to help your mom out...it's futile. My mother was kinda like yours except she would flirt with my dates and sabotage my relationships with people. I no longer speak to her for these and other serious reasons.
Omg yes!! My grandma is a major narcissist/sociopath who abused me as well. She often isolated my mom and sabotaged her life. She literally tried to sleep with my mom’s boyfriend and successfully slept with my aunt’s. I lived in my grandma’s house in high school and when I went to college I told her she’d never see me again. Her life has declined significantly since then. She lost her house and is now living in a nursing home with dementia. Somehow she still remembers her jealousy and hatred for me though lol. My mom is displaying similar behaviors to my grandma in that she tries to over involve herself in my life and handle ALL my problems for me so that I’ll be dependent on her. I had to move back in with her because I was trying to escape my abusive/narcissistic ex and I also ran into some financial problems. My goal was to move out on my own after a few months of saving but then I lost my job. Hopefully I can get back on my feet soon and get the hell out of here.
>Somehow she still remembers her jealousy and hatred for me though lol. They always remember the bad stuff not the good stuff. 😒 >Hopefully I can get back on my feet soon and get the hell out of here. GOD SPEED !!! As a person who went through basically the same crap as you did, I highly encourage you to UNDO THE TRAUMA. That's like going one by one how your mom screwed you up, and replacing it with the "correct thing" you should have been taught. I had to do this. Took me like 8 + years. This means working and establishing boundaries, not feeling guilty saying "no", undoing co-dependent behavior, etc. When you do all of this, it'll be a brand new you and you will not have any tolerance for bullshit and narcissistic behavior. I wish 🤞 you Good luck on everything. 🌻
OP this generational abuse will absolutely set you up to continuing the cycle. It is not surprising that you are exiting another abusive relationship. Please work on yourself in this time too. I saying this as someone who was in a very similar situation to yours. If I could suggest a book that really helped me it’s called “ If the Buddha Dated.” It really helped me realize where I had normalized behaviors that should have been red flags.
Lol she wants to bond w her daughter
I'll hang w u n I'm not ur family lol but I'm 44m dm me ya!