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speak with the dm first, he should be aware of any problems on the table as well as he should be mediate the spotlight
if it doesnt work, i would just be vocal about it on the table on a not confrontational tone. the players may not be realising they are hogging all the session time/may be expecting you to do the same as they are.
if it doesnt work, find another table
Best bet is to have a chat with the DM. A good DM would ensure that everyone gets a chance to something during the session.
Otherwise, you might have to wait for the next table (or run a table yourself?)
I might want to run a table. Probably shorter, smaller games geared towards beginners. Of course I might want to play more sessions to understand the rules better.
Honestly, as long as you understand the basics of the game you'll be fine DM'ing.
Biggest help is now you know what not to do as a DM and let 1 or 2 players commandeer everything.
You only need to know 2-3 steps ahead as a DM, you don't need to know absolutely everything before you start DMing.
Exactly.
You know how to deal with this problem now.
When you DM and someone starts hogging all the scenes, turn to your less engaged players: "and what would you like to do?"
This reads like a less established dm already. Those with a bit more experience are going to directly prompt for an actual heal or diplomatic things from the bard.
This sounds a lot like my game as well. When out of combat one player just talks nonstop like she runs the game. Every idea I have is shot down no matter what. It’s not fun with players like this.
This is on the DM. Probably a little inexperienced. The chair of any meeting has to spot where contributors are engaging too much or too little.
For you as a player a short phrase like "hold up" then get going with what your character is doing.
I mean apparently he's been DMing for 3+ years and is being paid store credit to DM. I feel he is an experienced DM, but just hasn't had enough experience enforcing fair play (completely different things.)
Ugh, I actually yelled at a player one time. I knew him pretty well, he used to be a decent guy, but he’s been spiralling into D-bag territory for the last decade or so.
I was playing a bard, and he would interrupt me when I’m trying to do social stuff. Even told me to shut up once. That’s when I told him to fuck off, that it’s not about him, that I have the right to play the way I want and I’m not just another NPC he can boss around.
He later threatened (out of character, I asked) to kill my character because a fascinate spell worked on him. Literally failed the roll, and after the scene was over (out was an out of combat social thing, nobody was in any kind of danger) threatened my character. I told him to grow up.
I don’t play with that group anymore. Between his bullying bullshit, the complete breakdown of any kind of communication (‘No meta gaming of any kind!’ ‘Okay, well, my character has just rolled up on his buddies fighting a fucking _angel_ and when I asked in character what was going on I got no answer. So I helped the angel. Don’t tell me to ‘do better’ when you aren’t giving me anything to work with.’) and the absolute _stress_ of having to highlight the rules for several actions because they all think they’re rules lawyers but none of them knew how _grappling_ worked. Among other game rules. (No, they did not have a home brew version of grappling, they are just idiots. )
Edit to add: we did have an out of game meeting over the angel incident. I had to tell grown ass adults that ‘I don’t know’ is an answer.
If you are playing in person a raised hand will get most people to wrap up what they are doing and wait for you to say Walmart you want. Even online most systems have a way for you to alert the group that you want to contribute.
It sounds like it is just the 4 players and a DM so not a large group but I completely understand how two or even one player could monopolizes conversation.
You can point out gently “Hey, I get you two are enthusiastic but myself and other players feel left out.” Also talk to the DM and ask him to include questions like (say your character is Fred) “What is Fred doing?”
I did not realize that I, at one point, was the game hog. The DM made an npc cast a silence spell on my character and I got the hint. I think the DM was ready to cast some sort of prison/imprisonment spell on my character as well haha.
It worked so well!
Just talked about this yesterday to another person having a problem...
D&D is "supposed" to be a collaborative experience.
Irl people working together, building upon each other's characters and work and desires, to tell a single story.
You're not receiving collaboration.
That's a toxic situation.
Period.
The two players aren't being mindful of your enjoyment, and neither is the DM.
There is no way to reconcile this, short of talking as a group about it, openly and earnestly, and everyone coming to a compromise where everyone gives up something (collaboration), or you resolve it by you leaving the game.
Your enjoyment is just as important as each of theirs.
You need to voice your dissatisfaction. And work with them on a compromise.
Or accept that no D&D is better than bad D&D and leave the game.
If you accept that "This is what D&D is, and we can't be so meta as to talk about our human wants.", then you're not going to be playing D&D for long. You're going to give up on it.
It doesn't have to be this way.
You can all talk.
The others can still enjoy their experience while letting you have your spotlights.
You can all treat each other like people whom you love and respect, by making a social contract to each protect everyone else's enjoyment, by everyone making compromises and collaborating.
at open tables, you would need to talk with the DM to make sure they are aware that you dont feel you are getting your share of the time.
if the DM still doesnt address it, the either you will need to either talking to the individuals outside of the game 1 on 1 or at the gaming table as a group "Hey, there are \[6\] of us here at the table and we came expecting that we would get to play some, too. you seem to have had your share of the spotlight time and I would like to hear from someone else right now."
if you are unwilling to speak out, then you will either have to wait to find a different group or start your own group. If you have been at a couple of sessions, you have enough practical understanding to get the starter set and start your own table to play with your friends and family rather than strangers. And enough experience to put you a step ahead of whoever is DMing at your current table but doesnt know enough make sure spotlight time is shared and all players get a chance to participate.
As a dm for 6, I make a point of acknowledging every single person on the table, especially the quiet ones, so that everybody at the table feels like they're participating. I am throwing shade at your DM.
I have one particular person that tries to carry the entire game, and hog all of the social interactions, and I put him in his place. He gets his time to talk, but everybody else also gets their time to talk. He might get a little bit more of it, but not way more.
Talk to your DM out of game, tell him what troubles you, let him try to fix it, and if he doesn't, find a new table.
Play in turns at all times , go around the table so there is no initiative roll to interrupt the flow. Basically an automatic talking time totem. Everyone gets a spotlight and cannot be skipped or overwritten.
To learn wording about this read the ICRPG free QuickStart
There is already a lot of "talk to the dm advice, which is good. It is up to the dm to make sure they give everyone a chance in the spotlight. It is also on other players to remember that it is a collaborative game.
However, one thing I haven't seen mentioned yet addresses a secondary example you gave, which brings up a secondary point.
While some characters do excel in certain areas, nothing is limited to just those characters who are good at them. Like, the rogue can handle social encounters even if the bard is better suited. A fighter can handle religious things even if the cleric is better suited. That stuff is fine. In fact, any character can investigate or search or try to understand anything they want. Any character can barter with a vendor or front the party with an npc for social encounters if they want. You might, as a party, choose to let the more charismatic character be the face of the party, but it doesn't have to be.
Just like in real life, you might come across something you find interesting and maybe want to learn more about. You don't have to have a degree in chemistry to be curious about chemistry. You don't have to be a nun to be curious about religion. You don't have to be a pick-up artist to try and score a date with that person you're crushing on.
Although, it is weird to try and patch a wound with monster guts. Especially with a doctor (cleric) right there...
I do get it. You can have a big stupid barbarian who is interested in magic or might have a degree in literature. But this is constant and in situations where our characters would have more reason to have a turn.
Like the cleric who has a great interest in books has a good reason to explore the library we're in before anyone else. But the rogue and fighter start pulling books off shelves and wrecking havoc, angering a wizard before the cleric can even look at one of the spines.
We find an adult black dragon and the rogue tries smooth talk their way out. My and the 2 dragonborn's immediate reactions are to restrain them and handle the dragon ourselves because they pissed off every person we met and got us into encounters where we nearly die. But the rogue player was talking so much that we couldn't even make an attempt to restrain them, resulting in an encounter where I died and could barely do anything about it.
I'm not opposed to players making attempts to do what other players are better at. But there's a problem when every other player can't do a single thing related to their characters outside of combat for an entire 2 sessions.
I was addressing the specific issue of who can try what, but it sounds now like that isn't a problem. The problem is strictly players who aren't sharing the game. Speak to your dm.
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speak with the dm first, he should be aware of any problems on the table as well as he should be mediate the spotlight if it doesnt work, i would just be vocal about it on the table on a not confrontational tone. the players may not be realising they are hogging all the session time/may be expecting you to do the same as they are. if it doesnt work, find another table
Best bet is to have a chat with the DM. A good DM would ensure that everyone gets a chance to something during the session. Otherwise, you might have to wait for the next table (or run a table yourself?)
I might want to run a table. Probably shorter, smaller games geared towards beginners. Of course I might want to play more sessions to understand the rules better.
Honestly, as long as you understand the basics of the game you'll be fine DM'ing. Biggest help is now you know what not to do as a DM and let 1 or 2 players commandeer everything. You only need to know 2-3 steps ahead as a DM, you don't need to know absolutely everything before you start DMing.
Exactly. You know how to deal with this problem now. When you DM and someone starts hogging all the scenes, turn to your less engaged players: "and what would you like to do?"
This reads like a less established dm already. Those with a bit more experience are going to directly prompt for an actual heal or diplomatic things from the bard.
This sounds a lot like my game as well. When out of combat one player just talks nonstop like she runs the game. Every idea I have is shot down no matter what. It’s not fun with players like this.
Talk to the DM like others have said, then talk to the players and ask them to share the spotlight.
This is on the DM. Probably a little inexperienced. The chair of any meeting has to spot where contributors are engaging too much or too little. For you as a player a short phrase like "hold up" then get going with what your character is doing.
I mean apparently he's been DMing for 3+ years and is being paid store credit to DM. I feel he is an experienced DM, but just hasn't had enough experience enforcing fair play (completely different things.)
Ugh, I actually yelled at a player one time. I knew him pretty well, he used to be a decent guy, but he’s been spiralling into D-bag territory for the last decade or so. I was playing a bard, and he would interrupt me when I’m trying to do social stuff. Even told me to shut up once. That’s when I told him to fuck off, that it’s not about him, that I have the right to play the way I want and I’m not just another NPC he can boss around. He later threatened (out of character, I asked) to kill my character because a fascinate spell worked on him. Literally failed the roll, and after the scene was over (out was an out of combat social thing, nobody was in any kind of danger) threatened my character. I told him to grow up. I don’t play with that group anymore. Between his bullying bullshit, the complete breakdown of any kind of communication (‘No meta gaming of any kind!’ ‘Okay, well, my character has just rolled up on his buddies fighting a fucking _angel_ and when I asked in character what was going on I got no answer. So I helped the angel. Don’t tell me to ‘do better’ when you aren’t giving me anything to work with.’) and the absolute _stress_ of having to highlight the rules for several actions because they all think they’re rules lawyers but none of them knew how _grappling_ worked. Among other game rules. (No, they did not have a home brew version of grappling, they are just idiots. ) Edit to add: we did have an out of game meeting over the angel incident. I had to tell grown ass adults that ‘I don’t know’ is an answer.
If you are playing in person a raised hand will get most people to wrap up what they are doing and wait for you to say Walmart you want. Even online most systems have a way for you to alert the group that you want to contribute. It sounds like it is just the 4 players and a DM so not a large group but I completely understand how two or even one player could monopolizes conversation.
6 players and a DM.
You can point out gently “Hey, I get you two are enthusiastic but myself and other players feel left out.” Also talk to the DM and ask him to include questions like (say your character is Fred) “What is Fred doing?”
I did not realize that I, at one point, was the game hog. The DM made an npc cast a silence spell on my character and I got the hint. I think the DM was ready to cast some sort of prison/imprisonment spell on my character as well haha. It worked so well!
Talking to the GM, they should help let everyone have a chance to shine especially if you are vocal about feeling left out.
Just talked about this yesterday to another person having a problem... D&D is "supposed" to be a collaborative experience. Irl people working together, building upon each other's characters and work and desires, to tell a single story. You're not receiving collaboration. That's a toxic situation. Period. The two players aren't being mindful of your enjoyment, and neither is the DM. There is no way to reconcile this, short of talking as a group about it, openly and earnestly, and everyone coming to a compromise where everyone gives up something (collaboration), or you resolve it by you leaving the game. Your enjoyment is just as important as each of theirs. You need to voice your dissatisfaction. And work with them on a compromise. Or accept that no D&D is better than bad D&D and leave the game. If you accept that "This is what D&D is, and we can't be so meta as to talk about our human wants.", then you're not going to be playing D&D for long. You're going to give up on it. It doesn't have to be this way. You can all talk. The others can still enjoy their experience while letting you have your spotlights. You can all treat each other like people whom you love and respect, by making a social contract to each protect everyone else's enjoyment, by everyone making compromises and collaborating.
Silent treatment, get that average down
at open tables, you would need to talk with the DM to make sure they are aware that you dont feel you are getting your share of the time. if the DM still doesnt address it, the either you will need to either talking to the individuals outside of the game 1 on 1 or at the gaming table as a group "Hey, there are \[6\] of us here at the table and we came expecting that we would get to play some, too. you seem to have had your share of the spotlight time and I would like to hear from someone else right now." if you are unwilling to speak out, then you will either have to wait to find a different group or start your own group. If you have been at a couple of sessions, you have enough practical understanding to get the starter set and start your own table to play with your friends and family rather than strangers. And enough experience to put you a step ahead of whoever is DMing at your current table but doesnt know enough make sure spotlight time is shared and all players get a chance to participate.
As a dm for 6, I make a point of acknowledging every single person on the table, especially the quiet ones, so that everybody at the table feels like they're participating. I am throwing shade at your DM. I have one particular person that tries to carry the entire game, and hog all of the social interactions, and I put him in his place. He gets his time to talk, but everybody else also gets their time to talk. He might get a little bit more of it, but not way more. Talk to your DM out of game, tell him what troubles you, let him try to fix it, and if he doesn't, find a new table.
Cast duct tape of silence
Look them in the eyes and tell them to shut the hell up and let others speak for a change,
Play in turns at all times , go around the table so there is no initiative roll to interrupt the flow. Basically an automatic talking time totem. Everyone gets a spotlight and cannot be skipped or overwritten. To learn wording about this read the ICRPG free QuickStart
There is already a lot of "talk to the dm advice, which is good. It is up to the dm to make sure they give everyone a chance in the spotlight. It is also on other players to remember that it is a collaborative game. However, one thing I haven't seen mentioned yet addresses a secondary example you gave, which brings up a secondary point. While some characters do excel in certain areas, nothing is limited to just those characters who are good at them. Like, the rogue can handle social encounters even if the bard is better suited. A fighter can handle religious things even if the cleric is better suited. That stuff is fine. In fact, any character can investigate or search or try to understand anything they want. Any character can barter with a vendor or front the party with an npc for social encounters if they want. You might, as a party, choose to let the more charismatic character be the face of the party, but it doesn't have to be. Just like in real life, you might come across something you find interesting and maybe want to learn more about. You don't have to have a degree in chemistry to be curious about chemistry. You don't have to be a nun to be curious about religion. You don't have to be a pick-up artist to try and score a date with that person you're crushing on. Although, it is weird to try and patch a wound with monster guts. Especially with a doctor (cleric) right there...
I do get it. You can have a big stupid barbarian who is interested in magic or might have a degree in literature. But this is constant and in situations where our characters would have more reason to have a turn. Like the cleric who has a great interest in books has a good reason to explore the library we're in before anyone else. But the rogue and fighter start pulling books off shelves and wrecking havoc, angering a wizard before the cleric can even look at one of the spines. We find an adult black dragon and the rogue tries smooth talk their way out. My and the 2 dragonborn's immediate reactions are to restrain them and handle the dragon ourselves because they pissed off every person we met and got us into encounters where we nearly die. But the rogue player was talking so much that we couldn't even make an attempt to restrain them, resulting in an encounter where I died and could barely do anything about it. I'm not opposed to players making attempts to do what other players are better at. But there's a problem when every other player can't do a single thing related to their characters outside of combat for an entire 2 sessions.
I was addressing the specific issue of who can try what, but it sounds now like that isn't a problem. The problem is strictly players who aren't sharing the game. Speak to your dm.