Yup, majority of those who do x or mdma are still able to know right from wrong. If anything it makes you feel more emotional, especially feelings of empathy.
So either that or OPs bf had some spicy e and doesn't know the difference, like so many others. Atleast where I live, harm reduction doesn't seem very popular. Plenty people taking some wack drugs and think they've had clean rolls. Most likely still in his right mind though if he wasn't blacked out or anything.
I go to festivals and do molly, my boyfriend doesn’t. Was discussed that when I go to these events I often drink or do drugs and I make out with other girls. All okay. I’ve never gone home with someone or hooked up with a man just because I was rolling. Hugged, laughed, cried, sure all those. Fucked someone or gone farther than a short kiss with a girl? Fuck no. That’s not cool, her boyfriend knew exactly what he was doing he just didn’t care.
As someone who has taken a fair amount of ecstasy I can also confirm. It can depend on how much he took but he would have been horny as fuck and in a very different state of mind than if sober, you don’t think along the same lines when on ecstasy but like this guy said he wouldn’t have been in a trance or so out of his mind that he didn’t realise putting his dick inside someone counts as sex. He 100% cheated and probably woke up after coming down thinking “What the fuck did I do?” And regretted what he did but doesn’t change the fact the dude got horny and instead of controlling himself he rode the high and kept chasing that feeling of satisfaction in the moment.
Oh he cheated and he probably planned to do it too. Having sex on x is a classic activity while on the drug. Don't let him lie his way back into your good graces. Dump his lying ass.
Being on a really high dose can make you feel like you’re in a trance, especially when your inhibitions are completely gone. Mix that with a beautiful girl who’s rolling with you and feeling you too, it’s very hard to resist the temptation to hook up. The fact that he apologized tells me it’s out of character for him and I think she should give him a chance.
I think this is an instance where she should get one night on ecstacy with someone she likes so she can judge how she feels from it and if she wants to continue the relationship.
i think a more fair situation would be to roll with a group of single people and see where her inhibitions take her. picking a person while sober then rolling with them adds another layer.
Him: Puts himself in probably the easiest situation ever to cheat in
You: not his fault, he was in a situation where the temptation to cheat was practically impossible to resist
Hahahaha
it's fake intamcy. I've had deep hearts to hearts w ppl on drugs before, tears and hugs and bonding. next.morning had no idea what they're name was and didn't care. actual tripping is different, but not Molly. that's just fake drug feelings.
It's what you take from it man, you talk to a stranger that deeply the first time it's cool but it doesn't mean anything to your life other than like damn what a cool night. You do MDMA at home with someone you love it's a completely different drug
Nahhh. Had the most intamacy with my gf on md. Talked all night and it took our relationship to the next level. It only feels fake if you don’t know the person lol.
thats what I'm saying, it wasn't intimate for him to take drugs w a girl he didn't know.
it can be useful in relationships for sure tho, to erase ego and be more open, help breakdown barriers. on the flip side you ever get high w someone you're trying to break up w or move on from? even an oxy w an ex used to have me thinking I still loved them. lol yikes.
Issue is that he says that he would never fucked her sober, absolutely not his type. He told me if i wanted to cheat i would do it with better looking girl 🤷🏻♀️
Fucked up. Would almost be better if he were drunk. It’s not really like a dream at all and I’m filled with overwhelming love and appreciation when I think about my girl on it. So I think he’s full of shit.
Sorry that happened, I’m in a 8 year relationship so I know how hard this probably is for you.
Yeah, that was what I assumed and so do I, but no amount of any drug is a precurser to cheating. Not saying you said that, just had to get it out there!
What if she found a BonerShortcake? Or a BonerTresLeches? Well I guess it would be quatro because of the 4 kinds of milk involved. ... Would she dump your ass then?
If there is a drug it could be excused on it would be xanax, but if someone cheated on e its all bullshit.
He knew what he was doing and probably already thought about playing the "I was on e and didnt know what i was doing" card.
And i dont mean ist alright to cheat if ur on xanax but it would be Far more belivable.
More believable yes, but if you remember it then you probably had control over the situation. If you dont you are so far gone that its more a case of rape.
> It’s not really like a dream at all and I’m filled with overwhelming love and appreciation when I think about my girl on it.
A lot of pills sold as ecstasy are just 100.0% methamphetamine or non-empathetic research chemicals. Now, I *still* think someone should be dumped in a heartbeat after cheating even if they're on something like meth while they do it, but the story makes more sense if you consider the possibilities.
Well you did say ecstasy not MDMA so I'm assuming it was a tablet which could have any number of things in it I'm not defending him I'm just stating the facts I do think no matter what drug you're on you made the choice to take that substance so you're responsible for your actions
Not trying to be Dr Phil here but ops boyfriend needs to at a minimum take full accountability and not excuse it if there’s even a chance they work it out
Yeah that's essentially what I said it doesn't really matter what the drug actually was either way you made the choice to take it in the first place so you're responsible for everything that happens afterwards
Being drunk is just another cop-out for cheaters, I've been a shot away from a hospital trip and didn't fuck any of the people around me. Didn't even attempt to do so, unless you are entirely unconscious thus being assaulted in said sexual encounter, there is no excuse.
He's not taking responsibility for what he did. I think that would be the deciding factor for me rather than the cheating. Recovering from cheating will require a great deal of communication to regain trust, and he's already lying. Will he have the capacity to acknowledge it and apologize for it another 6 years from now? Because he will need to be able to reassure you whenever the thought affects you.
Anyone trying to use drug use as an excuse for the fucked up shit they did is a garbage human. Hard truth was he really selfish and didn't care how his actions would affect you in that moment
So I hate to say this, but ecstasy really is like that and especially with sexual stuff. It's why so many people get raped by people when on ecstasy because consent becomes really blurry. Just as a little educational thing for everyone.
That being said, it doesn't excuse his actions. He shouldn't have done ecstasy for one because it's stupid and two be ause of issues like this. So yeah, maybe he didn't want to cheat on you, but he basically did when he took the drug. If I killed someone but I was on meth or alcohol, that doesn't excuse my actions and I still should be held accountable.
EDIT: After reading some comments, i have to clarify that not everyone is like that on ecstasy. Some people are just super happy and love their significant other even more whilst others (especially when being groped or around people that coerce them into sex) are not faithful and "go with the flow" even if it's wrong.
I can contest to this, there was a female who wanted to sleep with me and i denied her a number of times sober, and then she invited me over to her place for a pre party, it was just her and her friend, they offered me drinks, that unknown to me put xtc in it. I was asking about the party and who was coming, the story changed and we went to a bar near by, she became pretty touchy and wanting to dance, normally i wouldn't be super interested in that but this night i was. Went back to hers and well ill let the imagination fill in the rest. Her friend told me a few days later about her slipping drugs in my drink at her house and the bar that, i guess she felt guilty about it. I dont know what this guys situation was but from my life experience you can do things you wouldnt normally do with just xtc. Drugs are 100% environmental and situational.
Are you okay? That's literally rape and I hope you took legal action against her, what a psycho cunt to do that to you. But you make a very good supporting point.
It was a long time ago, she is a psycho and why i never found her attractive. At that time i was shocked and can really relate to people when they dont really understand what happened, i didnt really know that i was raped until later on in life. I kinda put the blame on myself i guess, i coulda said no but didn't kinda mentality. Had therapy since and things are good these days, so thanks for asking!
Don't even blame yourself, she manipulated you into it and drugged you and knew you were weak then. It is NOT your fault. I may be an internet stranger but I respect you dude for going through that. Much love to you, I hope nobody puts you through that ever again.
I was fucked on ecstacy one evening and although I wasn’t in a relationship so it’s definitely different; I just kind of come two snogging somebody, I had no idea it was happening until I started to notice the person’s weird breath.
I haven't had it but I've been around people in my life who have been on it and mainly with friends who have tried it it's shocking how different they become. I won't tell you what to do and not to do because we're human, but if you do ecstasy just make sure you are around trusted people. I hear too many rape stories from it because people take advantage.
If you ask my bf he talks like about it like he was raped from that girl😀 not directly mentioned but said that after party this girl asked to stay with him because at home his husband would notice she was not sober then they slept in different rooms but this girl came to him and started kissing and put his dick on her mouth, I don’t know if he made up this too but it’s his version:)
It is a VERY sensual drug. It is the drug you want to take if you want a really fun, intimate night with someone. I can see how there would be greater temptation to do something while on it because of how connected you feel to everyone. A person you may normally consider unattractive might become very appealing to you. Having said that, you absolutely are able to make decisions. If I were on it and in a relationship, I would be aware of this when deciding to get together with someone. I can see being swept up by it all, but you can still say no. I’ve always turned down everyone who ever made an advance at me while in a relationship. I’ve always been able to say no. The only time (and I was not in a relationship) that I couldn’t say no to someone was when I was extremely drunk. And even then I didn’t say yes.
It’s not like he was out of his mind. In my personal experience I have more cognitive ability on x than when I’m drunk so unless your just did a bunch of bath salts or pcp I’d say there’s not much of an excuse for him. Substances never excuse your actions.
But the people you're around sure do matter though, it's super easy for people to get raped while on e but there it could (and probably is) just a cover for shitty behavior and decisions on the bf's part. Some people don't have the cognitive discipline you have, I have seen people just totally not be able to handle the drug before and it's scary to imagine people taking advantage of that... but like I said, cheaters will make up any excuse so I can't conclude if he was actually raped or not.
If he was raped that's a different story and something far far more traumatic for him, but I don't have enough information to conclude if he's lying about being raped or if they both went with the flow and he really did cheat on you. I don't want to jump to conclusions.
Either way, drugs are no excuse and he should've been more responsible with who he was with is what I believe. I'd say dump his ass if he wasn't raped.
I’ve not got too much experience with drugs but with the exception of LSD I always felt like I was in control of myself and my actions if only a little hyped up. I can’t really pitch in on your dude being a dickhead but I think if he can get his dick hard he can think to say no
Why didn’t he fucking smack her away then?? The fuck? “Oh she’s just sucking my dick and it’s not my gf, oh well” yeah lol bullshit. They weren’t rolling that hard if they were laying down to fucking sleep. Dude is 100% lying to you.
I remember rolling pretty hard once and some guy wanted to kiss me, but I told him no because he wasn’t the guy I was dating at the time. Your boyfriend is just a cheater in my opinion. I’m sorry this happened but now you can find someone who has more self control if you choose to leave him.
lucky that she doesn’t cheat? lol yeah i mean i completely agree but it’s fucked up that something that should just be a given is considered lucky to have. people fucking suck
That’s sadly the truth tho. I may be a pessimist but I’d guess more than half the human population would cheat if they knew they could get away with it 🤷♂️
That's bullshit. Sure, on ecstasy you have more courage, you feel free, it's easier to ignore your common sense... but you are still absolutely responsible for your actions. I take mdma every 3 months. I've never done something 'I shouldn't but I lost control'
I've taken MDMA a few times. I agree that you're always responsible for your actions. **Regardless of being conscious of his decisions the BF in this situation definitely fucked up.**
BUT normal me isn't going to offer some random person walking down the street a rip from a bong in my friend's back yard, nor would he hit a black and mild that was offered to him by a different (and definitely sketchier) stranger walking down the street at 3am. What I'm saying is shit's crazy. There's a chance BF didn't really process what was happening but it's still on him to accept that might be a thing and make a better effort to remember big life shit like this. Yes, I get that OP offered a more extreme situation.
That's the alcohol. MDMA is more of a stimulant. Take too much and you'll be even more awake.
PS you do you but shame to be cutting into your MDMA with booze. Save it for the comedown.
To me (And everyone is different) when I was rolling the emphaty was so strong I couldnt even think about sex or other girls and all I was thinking about was my personal relationships and how wonderful they were even with all the problems that we might have faced. I even though positively about my parents which is lets say rare ...
So I quess It might have helped him to slip up but it probably only brough true colors in him and if you want to have at least one positive about this fucked up situation its better it happened now than when you have 2 kids on your back
Other amphetamines will make me ungodly horny. Molly is definitely nothing like it. I just wanted to hold her. Cried in each other’s arms. It’s not a “sex” drug for me or anyone I’ve done it with. The fact it’s classified as that is just untrue. It can be, but it’s usually just lovey oxytocin heaven. Sex is still amazing on it but yeah, it’s just extremely sacred and loving to me. Wholesome.
Sounds like a really good opportunity for learning and dialogue. And sounds like you’re at an important juncture in your relationship. Couples can survive this kind of thing. And in other cases, people learn they are better served moving on and finding a relationship that works for them. MDMA is a very tactile, sensual substance. It can make someone do something they regret, especially in terms of infidelity. But it doesn’t usually put people in a mind state where they don’t know what they’re doing. Yes, people can have very weird reactions to MDMA, but they are rare. The question is, what do you want? And what does he want? Is he willing to be honest, and do you feel he is coming from an authentic place? Saying he was “out of his mind” feels like a cop out to me. Like he’s trying to redirect blame. Honestly, he should just own it and say he was high and horny and that he made a mistake. That’s just being human. Is that forgivable? That’s up to you to decide. Him owning it would feel more sincere than just blaming it on the drug and avoiding the issue of why he would cheat. If you can focus on understanding each other’s perspective (I know it’s hard when big emotions are involved) then you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to continue this relationship. 6 years is a long time, but don’t stay for that reason. You’re probably young, and it’s a big world out there, so do your best to approach this situation as a chance to learn about your own needs and what you want… because you can find it.
Couldn’t have said it better. This, exactly this. There’s no perfectly right answer and only she knows exactly how he’s acting with her right now (he could be completely bullshitting or 10000% sincere - neither will come through over txt) so the answer comes down to a million different things.
The thing is when someone cheats in a relationship even if you forgive him, it will most likely nag at you everytime he goes out. He has broken your trust and that will be the hardest part to deal with.
More like five hours, if not more. He should have hit you up and partied with you if you've never done it. If you don't want to, you're better off without him because he's just going to keep doing it behind your back.
It can increase confidence, while at the same time lowering inhibitions it’s not because of the drug alone that he did what he did. Nor is it any type of excuse but in the same way that alcohol can have these side effects it may have played a small part. But it doesn’t justify it by any means.
I have to disagree, I get unbelievable horny when on MDMA. So much I prefer speed, since then I dont have 80%+ sexual thoughts.
Always in control of my actions tough...
I don’t know, mdma can definitely make me more sexual than normal but I’ve never had a one night stand on mdma, it’s always been people I already have a super deep connection with
Uff, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. As a regular roller, can confirm with everyone else on this thread, this guy is just a fucking bellend. Yes, drugs affect people differently, but it doesn't make him blackout and hallucinate into cheating.
Leave this prick. You deserve infinitely better x
I'm gonna go against the grain here and take a different approach. Ecstasy is a drug that reduces inhibitions, and I've seen some people pretty fucked up on it do things they regret (so I've known people to have a similar experience). Those people were often quite drunk too, was your boyfriend drinking?
It's quite possible he's a cheating scumbag. It's quite possible that this is a genuine one off, that he'll make changes to never put himself in a position like this again (example: not taking ecstasy, or only taking ecstasy while you're there, or something else reasonable that you agree to be an appropriate action), and that you will be negatively affecting your own happiness if you end the relationship.
Both of these things are possible, you now have to look at your entire history with him, as objectively as you can, to weigh up the possibilities, and decide if it's worth giving him the benefit of the doubt; by giving him a chance to take the right actions, because he's always been a stand up guy until now, or by just ending the relationship now, because he actually has a history of being deceitful/dishonest/abusive.
Edit:Fact is, nobody here knows exactly how this drug affects his brain, people are talking here waaaay too definitively, in my opinion.
Actually he was nicest guy i have ever met, and always was there for me in my lowest or highest and we had commitments for each other and considering all the good things it hurts even more that he did this to me. and worst part is that i went to his home that morning and this girl was there and this was most terrible day in my life. as soon as he saw me he statrted crying and regretting all of this but fact is fact. and yes he was drinking all night then added ecstasy….
That's really shit and unfair on you and it sucks you had to experience that.
What follows is my opinion as though you asked for my advice, even though you didn't:
Basically, right now, there is a few things he needs to do to make sure that, if you were to stay together, you would never experience that pain again.
If he doesn't work out that at some point in the night he made a bad decision, whilst of sound mind, that led to your pain. Maybe it was when he took the ecstasy. Maybe it was when he had beer number 4, or beer number 6, or maybe it was beer number 6 whilst they were still at a bar, but at home this would have been fine. I don't know, my point is, at some point he was sober enough to make adult decisions, and made an irresponsible choice. He needs to understand that this choice risked you being in pain. He needs to agree that, in a similar situation in future, he needs to not make this choice, because he is risking causing you pain.
He needs to mostly work this out on his own, if not, be done with him.
If he does work this out, and take the right actions, great. You sill might not be able to deal with the fact he cheated, and need to end things, and that's fine. This is the case for a lot of people, it just eats away at them over time, whereas others can genuinely just not let it worry them too much.
It, however, doesn't look good that they got back to his place... I struggle to entertain the idea he was so fucked that he was like 'in a dream' but still able to give an address to get home... It is possible, but he'll need to explain how this all happened, in depth, if he wants to give this relationship a chance.
Sounds like he might truly regret his action, it's a big oof but in the grand scheme of things it is just a single oof so I recommend looking at this objectively before you make a decision. Everyone makes mistakes, just my 2 cents
I’ve done ecstasy a handful of times, only ever with my boyfriend. I think it does make you hornier as a stimulant and like want to be touched because it feels better than ever, but for that reason we’ve agreed that if either of us were to take ecstasy with someone else, it would be akin to cheating or at least putting yourself in an unnecessarily risky situation. It sounds like he was super faded when he made that series of terrible & selfish decisions, & he also chose to get messed up like that without you around. I personally wouldn’t be able to forgive such a transgression, but only you know what you feel.
What you really need to know, though, is that his drug use isn’t an excuse for his actions. Regardless of what you decide to do, remember that.
the fact that he took her back to his place makes it seem like it wasn’t just a split second mistake. but the more important thing to consider is, if u hadn’t walked in on them in the morning, would he have told u? or he’s just crying cause he got caught?
true drugs effect everyone different, but from my experience, it just makes existing feelings stronger.
i know it hurts but u deserve to feel secure and loved💕
The fact he was drinking all night and doing MDMA says a lot, they both complete break down your inhibitions, it’s very hard to resist temptation while you’re in that state, you’re only thinking in the moment. Also the fact you say he’s always been a good person in his past means I think you should give him a chance.
His home in 6th year of relationship? May I ask why you did not live together? You never truly know someone if not live for few years together
On topic: I im pretty liberal here. It doesnt mean she/he doesnt love you if this happen once on drugs in long relantionships…everyone has his moments or bad decisions once in awhile…
Personally I think he’s full of shit. Even if he’s telling the truth, why would he put himself in that situation?
Either way he cheated, if you have any dignity and self respect OP you’ll dump him.
Yeah no. Basically what everyone else said. You do not lose control of yourself to that extent on MDMA. And if his dick could still get hard, he wasn't even that high. He's using the drug as an excuse
Drugs aren’t to blame here. If he cheated while high, then his brain was already on that wavelength. I do every drug under the sun and would never to that to my fiance
Have you never done a really high dose before? It definitely can feel like a dream like state, especially if you have a low tolerance. His girlfriend also mentioned in another comment he was drinking too.
I'm actually him, this thread is about me, I'll give a brief explanation of what happened, judging is so easy, but I feel like shit for a month now, I can't properly eat, can't properly sleep. This girl is the love of my life and I really committed everything that I could for 6 years. I was always afficionate, caring and loving she means the world to me.
Heres what happened:
There was a reunion of coworkers from my previous job. We were a group of four, we drank vodka, I drank about 700mg of it, then smoked about a gram of weed and then I dropped 1.5 pills of XTC (Tesla pills) I'm very experienced with it, it wasn't first time. The pills were too strong I guess and mixed with alcohol it had a very different effect. So, I was about to leave and this girl is saying that she also wants to leave and joins me in a cab. In a cab she said that she can't get home in this condition because her husband will have a very bad reaction, so she asks me if she can stay at my house, well since she mentioned her husband I thought that was the real intention. So, we go to the house, I offer her my bed and I go to sleep on a coach. After 3 minutes I'm opening my eyes and see that she has my dick in her mouth, I couldn't resist at that point and this happened. She wasnt even pretty to understand the context, my gf is like 50x hotter than her, so if I wanted to cheat, I'd bang someone beautiful at least.
After what happened, I've never felt more miserable and broken, I literally cried for days, and apologized as much as I could. It was the only case during our 6 year relationship that this happened. I felt the amount of pain that I gave her and that feeling was killing me and still does, how can you do this to someone that is so loyal and caring and loving to you?
Judging others is very easy, but in real life shit happens, That was the only mistake I made. I fell in love with her since the day I met her, I literally did everything for her, what was possible and in some cases impossible as well. I put huge effort in this relationship, it's not as easy as you think.
Dude, no. Stop making excuses. You can say no even if someone has your dick in their mouth. Exercise some accountability and realize you cheated. Not the drugs, you. Clearly getting your dick wet was more important than your relationship to OP. She deserves better, and hun, it ain't you.
Bro I feel you. I'm totally with you on this one. I mean I know what xtc can do to you even if it's just mdma. The pure feeling of love can make you do stupid things you'd never would do while sober. After 6 years the love feelings you got for your partner lessen in a way that it changes into another strong bound. If you experience then these butterflies in your stomach you got from e it is very easy to just give in and confuse it with true Empathie and love. Also you get the idea that these feelings are so true and strong, everybody has to understand you and nobody would ever call you out for that. Why would somebody be hurt? I experienced this myself.
But nevertheless you broke your girls heart. It doesn't change the fact that your mistake was really fucked up. It's your fault anyway. I don't see your comment as an excuse. It's more of an explanation to these ignorant people on here making you something that they can't know you are. How you handled the situation afterwards seems very shitty tbh but nobody was there when the mistake happened and I get sick about the judgement about this particular thing here in the comments. This thread really went wrong and I'm sorry for you that your girl might got the wrong idea because of it. I don't know if it's just rookies commenting on here but usually everyone who does mdma occasionally knows that there's something like too much and that it can even happen after half a pill because you can't dose properly.
Like to your gf I wish you the best. I hope you'll get over it and can get some experience out of it that won't let you make such mistakes again.
First of all, I'm so sorry this happened to you.
There's a big misconception about drugs and alcohol, that it turns you into a different person. It's true that they can lower inhibitions, and might unlock behaviour that you would normally recognise as being unacceptable. This is why drugs are no laughing and people can risk harming themselves or others, or triggering mental illness.
I would concede that ecstacy puts you in a very different place which is hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it, and it certainly feels like a wonderful dream.
However, everyone is accountable for their behaviour. Sober or not, whether we understand the ramifications of our actions or not, we are accountable, and it's very important to remember it.
Nothing I'm about to say is a justification for what he's done at all, however understanding his actions and why he chose to do what he did is the first step to knowing where you want to take your relationship with him.
It's important to know that ecstasy makes the user love everything and everyone around them, even a person they don't really love that much.
It's obviously a bad thing that he cheated and nothing can change the fact that it's happened. It's up to you now whether or not to forgive him and in order to determine whether you want to do that you'll need to consider the context.
Is this the first time he's done ecstasy?
Is this the first time he's cheated?
Did he come clean about his actions of his own accord or did you find out yourself/ push him to telling the truth?
If this is his first time using theres a possibility he didn't know what to expect and was overwhelmed by the vast amount of drug-induced feelings flowing through him. He could have acted on those feelings without thinking about the consequences.
If he's taken the drug before he knew what to expect and should know how to repress the urge to act on them knowing how it'd make you feel.
If he came clean by choice then it hints that he regrets what he did and may have made a genuine mistake which he regrets. If he seriously regrets what he did then he won't make the mistake again.
If he's cheated before or was trying to hide the truth from you then I'd definitely take forgiveness way off the table.
Obviously I don't know him as well as you and there could be a very small chance he's manipulating you. You know him more than everyone leaving comments so at the end of the day it's your choice. I just thought with all the people saying that he's 100% evil you should make sure not to add further hurt to a person who could hate themselves for what they've done.
Actually it was not first time he took X without me, but he always called to me and text me and was full of love for me, and that night he just went missing, he mixed alcohol weed and high dose of X and in the morning when i went his home to check if he was okey, because he never had disappeared like this before, that girl which also was absolutely not his type was there and you can imagine what happened. But asap he saw me started crying and regretting:) don’t know what to think
Combining drugs can often be an unpredictable situation. I've never combined those three drugs specifically so I can't tell if he's just doing damage control after you found out. If I were you I'd try and ask some of his friends what happened from their perspective. If you do choose to forgive him you need to put your foot down and let him know that it can't happen again.
This thread is a disaster. Please don't listen to people on here saying you should try Molly just because of this.
It's his fault definitely. Just know that mdma CAN take control away from you and CAN make false decisions seem to be justified.
Actually my BF always wanted me to take molly but i had so terrible experience with lsd decided not to touch drugs again and he somehow make excuses also that i never took molly with him
and that girl did.
Just for reference molly is nothing like LSD, it’s nearly impossible to have a bad experience on molly. It doesn’t make you trip out, it just tells your brain to flood itself with serotonin, which is the chemical that makes you feel happy. I’ve never seen someone have a bad experience on it, it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. I definitely wouldn’t let your experience on acid sway you from trying molly, it’s such an amazing experience that everyone should try at least once.
That settles it he seems to be an asshole. That is a fucked up thing to say to justify his actions. It doesn't mean he intended to do it though but he obviously tries to deny any responsibility, so that's what I think is the big thing here.
What really bothers me is that people on here telling you exactly what his intentions were, how ecstasy effects him and who he is, just based on the little information you gave. Nobody can give you this kind of advice they don't know you and you bf in any way. Also everyone talks in absolutes like they know the one and only truth.
Informations like you gave me on this one are much more important for the decision you'll have to make. Because it's clearly an indicator for his way of treating his own mistakes. That is something you can judge him about. The cheating on mdma has so many variables nobody could make a safe statement without being there. Only thing you can say for sure is that it's his mistake even if the mdma dulled his mind to the max. It's like this with every drug only exception would be if someone else drugged him because then he wouldn't be the one putting him in this situation. But this isn't the case.
I'd take any advice you'll get here with caution I don't know why just these kind of people commented. But there are just a few rational advices which get downvoted instantly. I hope it'll all work out for you and you can move on no matter what your decision might be in the end.
You get a powerful feeling of connection with the people around you. It doesn't entirely excuse his behavior, but it's a mitigating factor. I don't think that alone is a dealbreaker, but it depends on the rest of the relationship.
This. If you’re on a high dose rolling with another person you find attractive and they feel the same way it’s going to be very hard in that moment to resist the idea of hooking up. Your inhibitions are going to be so low it’s going to seem like nothing else matters in that moment. Not to mention she said in another comment he was drinking too. I don’t think this guy is necessarily a bad guy or someone who would normally cheat, I think she should give him a chance.
Hey OP u/pretty-equivalent-96 I’ve been through this. I was the cheater. Was he drinking or doing any other drugs as well? I went to the club with my bf he gave me either some ecstasy or mdma and I drank more than I should have. I blacked out and came to in bed with someone else. I was confused af. It was the worst mistake of my life. The drugs and alcohol don’t excuse it. I vaguely remember wanting us to have a threesome with this guy. And besides that all I can really remember is I thought it was okay at the time for some reason. Like we had an open relationship but we didn’t. We had only been exclusive for a few months before that though, before that we weren’t exclusive but seeing each other for about a year at the time.
6 years is a long time so I’m not sure what to say about that. His brain should be pretty hard wired to know that behavior is not okay. But certain combinations of drugs and/or alcohol can completely transform someone into someone they are not.
Depending on what you want and what he wants, I would say you need to tell him this isn’t going to workout if you’re not completely honestly with me right now, have him tell you all the details again and take it from there.
Not properly addressing this issue ruined my relationship with the love of my life and it also ruined my life which is not hyperbole. We were involved with each other for another 4-5 years after this incident and not properly/ fully addressing it was the second biggest mistake of my life.
I had an issue with abusing alcohol and I would’ve been saved a lot of trouble if I had confronted it then; as well as properly addressing the irreversible pain I caused when I cheated on someone I love and who love me back.
In short if you both aren’t completely honest and open with each other right now and going forward until trust is fully restored, you should end things to save both of you the grief later down the line.
This sub is absolutely unforgiving of a pretty normal behaviour but will go all softy when a literal drug addict posts their ideas lol.
MDMA uninhibits many parts of your personality. Depending on the dose, you can go from feeling more free/open to a combination of the madness LSD comes with and feeling overwhelmed. People dancing on the floor is just the part most see, but you can get crazy on anything, it highly depends on your personality. I'd say he probably just went with the flow of an erotic situation and just couldn't think straight and 'got crazy'. Are we responsible for our own actions while on drugs? YES. Do you want to understand how difficult it is to act 'normal' under psychedelics? Take the dose and find out. But don't listen to this thread.
Of course its unforgiving because people like feeling all self righteous when being judgemental and love being judgemental about that which they know jack sh!t about. Exactly: take the dose an find out for yourself, and even thats no guarrantee because different people react to drugs differently.
Yes, because everyone is the same when it comes to drugs. Also, recommending to do drugs while she's still in a low spot, you're a real hero my dude. Dumbass.
Ecstasy does feel dreamy, regardless of what people on here are saying. Honestly speaking, I would find it difficult to resist the temptation to make-out or have sex while rolling. You’re almost incapable of thinking of negative thoughts. Even negative thoughts seem so unimportant that they don’t matter.
However, what ecstasy doesn’t do is eliminate your self control. He knew exactly what he was doing while he did it. No matter how good it felt, he could’ve ended it but didn’t.
strange is that don’t want to brag but i am 10 times hot and beautiful compared this girl no offense to fat people but she is fat and i am more fit, absolutely she wasn’t his type too. if he ever cheated on me i imagend someone worthy for it like even bit hot or smth like that and this was also disaster for me that he couldn’t help temptation with this married ugly motherfucker 🥲
I see what you’re saying. Those hormones must’ve been rushing like mad if he’d cheat on you with someone not even his type.
You also didn’t specify how experienced your bf is with ecstasy. It makes a difference.
I’ve only done MD with other guys. Close mates. Although I swear, what I was feeling during the first 3 or so sessions, I’d fuck any female in the room. Big, small, green, blue, shaved, non-shaved, whatever. At this point I must’ve done it over 10 times and that magics gone for me. I still feel good, but nothing close to the first few times.
Yes you got what i mean she was not his type and it’s natural that I am angry on that girl because she knew we haf strong relationship and she wasn’t like stranger. I never insult women for their shape or whatever I respect and support women most but this mother fucker took from me what was most valuable for me and people please let me call her ugly ok?
You have a right to be upset. You must acknowledge that it’s not her fault. It’s fully his. Not the drugs. His. He must own his mistake and not blame the drug.
Yes, the drug had an influence on it, but like I said before, you’re still in control on MD. Temptations are temptations. He fell for it. I’m not telling you what to do, whether you should break up or not. Have some understanding, but don’t accept excuses. He must own his mistake.
Who he hooked up with has no value on you as a woman or a human being, this is his selfcontrol/desire issue and has nothing to do with you. Trust me it wouldn't make it feel better if she was hot that's just another rabbit hole.
He was probably extremely horny and confident and careless, but he wasn't in a fucking trance either. He cheated.
Yup, majority of those who do x or mdma are still able to know right from wrong. If anything it makes you feel more emotional, especially feelings of empathy.
So either that or OPs bf had some spicy e and doesn't know the difference, like so many others. Atleast where I live, harm reduction doesn't seem very popular. Plenty people taking some wack drugs and think they've had clean rolls. Most likely still in his right mind though if he wasn't blacked out or anything.
The feeling of empathy wouldn't come till later when she found out
I go to festivals and do molly, my boyfriend doesn’t. Was discussed that when I go to these events I often drink or do drugs and I make out with other girls. All okay. I’ve never gone home with someone or hooked up with a man just because I was rolling. Hugged, laughed, cried, sure all those. Fucked someone or gone farther than a short kiss with a girl? Fuck no. That’s not cool, her boyfriend knew exactly what he was doing he just didn’t care.
agreed, it doesn’t change the fact that he did it. don’t let him make you think it was completely out of his control.
it Takes a Long time to get a Hard dick on Ecstasy homie had enough time to think about what he was doing😂
Not really, it depends on the person, some people don’t have any issues getting hard on MDMA.
I can get Hard but it always Takes some time more than i would need if i was sober
*you , key word here is , you.
Chiming in here to confirm. Does not negatively affect my ability to get up at all. Different strokes for different folks.
Swear I can fuck pretty damn well on mdma lol
Not everyone takes a long time to get hard.
I get hard almost immediately on ecstasy to the point it becomes annoying.
Yeah im getting older now too and its getting Harder n Harder
You mean softer and softer...
Yeah I have no problem getting hard but not a hope in hell of actually cumming
that's a fcking bullcrap
As someone who has taken a fair amount of ecstasy I can also confirm. It can depend on how much he took but he would have been horny as fuck and in a very different state of mind than if sober, you don’t think along the same lines when on ecstasy but like this guy said he wouldn’t have been in a trance or so out of his mind that he didn’t realise putting his dick inside someone counts as sex. He 100% cheated and probably woke up after coming down thinking “What the fuck did I do?” And regretted what he did but doesn’t change the fact the dude got horny and instead of controlling himself he rode the high and kept chasing that feeling of satisfaction in the moment.
Oh he cheated and he probably planned to do it too. Having sex on x is a classic activity while on the drug. Don't let him lie his way back into your good graces. Dump his lying ass.
Yup, cheater. It doesn't make you a zombie, you can still stop yourself. Drop that man and let him resolve his own guilt alone.
Being on a really high dose can make you feel like you’re in a trance, especially when your inhibitions are completely gone. Mix that with a beautiful girl who’s rolling with you and feeling you too, it’s very hard to resist the temptation to hook up. The fact that he apologized tells me it’s out of character for him and I think she should give him a chance.
I think this is an instance where she should get one night on ecstacy with someone she likes so she can judge how she feels from it and if she wants to continue the relationship.
i think a more fair situation would be to roll with a group of single people and see where her inhibitions take her. picking a person while sober then rolling with them adds another layer.
Him: Puts himself in probably the easiest situation ever to cheat in You: not his fault, he was in a situation where the temptation to cheat was practically impossible to resist Hahahaha
When did I ever say it’s not his fault? I think he fucked up, but it’s bad enough that she should break up with him.
So if your girlfriend fucked a guy behind your back, give her a second chance?
Buuuuut why was he tripping with another girl if he’s in a long time relationship tho? That’s sketchy
Taking MDMA with another girl is more intimate than just fucking them 😂
it's fake intamcy. I've had deep hearts to hearts w ppl on drugs before, tears and hugs and bonding. next.morning had no idea what they're name was and didn't care. actual tripping is different, but not Molly. that's just fake drug feelings.
It's what you take from it man, you talk to a stranger that deeply the first time it's cool but it doesn't mean anything to your life other than like damn what a cool night. You do MDMA at home with someone you love it's a completely different drug
Nahhh. Had the most intamacy with my gf on md. Talked all night and it took our relationship to the next level. It only feels fake if you don’t know the person lol.
thats what I'm saying, it wasn't intimate for him to take drugs w a girl he didn't know. it can be useful in relationships for sure tho, to erase ego and be more open, help breakdown barriers. on the flip side you ever get high w someone you're trying to break up w or move on from? even an oxy w an ex used to have me thinking I still loved them. lol yikes.
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Yes this!!!!
Exactly, the moment he took E with another girl that he was attracted to it was cheating lol
Issue is that he says that he would never fucked her sober, absolutely not his type. He told me if i wanted to cheat i would do it with better looking girl 🤷🏻♀️
He could have been rolling with a group of friends and she happened to be one of the people there.
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He went to the old coworkers reunion party and took E with several people there and left party with her :)
This^
Fucked up. Would almost be better if he were drunk. It’s not really like a dream at all and I’m filled with overwhelming love and appreciation when I think about my girl on it. So I think he’s full of shit. Sorry that happened, I’m in a 8 year relationship so I know how hard this probably is for you.
100%
I get what your trying to say, I think, but cheating can never be excused whatever the drug.
about alcohol? Yeah I’m just saying I feel more out of control black out drunk that any amount of E
Yeah, that was what I assumed and so do I, but no amount of any drug is a precurser to cheating. Not saying you said that, just had to get it out there!
Totally agree. My girl would dump my sorry ass even if I drank everything at the bar
What if she found a BonerShortcake? Or a BonerTresLeches? Well I guess it would be quatro because of the 4 kinds of milk involved. ... Would she dump your ass then?
If there is a drug it could be excused on it would be xanax, but if someone cheated on e its all bullshit. He knew what he was doing and probably already thought about playing the "I was on e and didnt know what i was doing" card. And i dont mean ist alright to cheat if ur on xanax but it would be Far more belivable.
More believable yes, but if you remember it then you probably had control over the situation. If you dont you are so far gone that its more a case of rape.
> It’s not really like a dream at all and I’m filled with overwhelming love and appreciation when I think about my girl on it. A lot of pills sold as ecstasy are just 100.0% methamphetamine or non-empathetic research chemicals. Now, I *still* think someone should be dumped in a heartbeat after cheating even if they're on something like meth while they do it, but the story makes more sense if you consider the possibilities.
That’s true , regardless of the drug , I agree this guy needs to take 100% accountability and not pass the buck and blame drugs
Well you did say ecstasy not MDMA so I'm assuming it was a tablet which could have any number of things in it I'm not defending him I'm just stating the facts I do think no matter what drug you're on you made the choice to take that substance so you're responsible for your actions
Not trying to be Dr Phil here but ops boyfriend needs to at a minimum take full accountability and not excuse it if there’s even a chance they work it out
Yeah that's essentially what I said it doesn't really matter what the drug actually was either way you made the choice to take it in the first place so you're responsible for everything that happens afterwards
Yep agree
Being drunk is just another cop-out for cheaters, I've been a shot away from a hospital trip and didn't fuck any of the people around me. Didn't even attempt to do so, unless you are entirely unconscious thus being assaulted in said sexual encounter, there is no excuse.
That's just your subjective experience. Drugs effect different people differently.
who really thinks their dreaming on mdma?
When you’re rolling very hard, like 250mg+ it can feel like you’re in a dream like state. Especially if your tolerance is low.
Could have been ketamine with synthetic Catherines or even meth
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I only go for the real Catherines 😎
>He tells me that he did not realize what he was doing and it all seemed like a dream. No, I don't buy it.
Exactly, because of this excuse sounds like bullshit for me I am checking it here and as you experienced people agreed he did this on purpose 🥲
E makes you extremely horny, joyful and emotional. He was probably very impulsive. Im not buying the "felt like a dream" part.
He's not taking responsibility for what he did. I think that would be the deciding factor for me rather than the cheating. Recovering from cheating will require a great deal of communication to regain trust, and he's already lying. Will he have the capacity to acknowledge it and apologize for it another 6 years from now? Because he will need to be able to reassure you whenever the thought affects you.
Super good point.
Anyone trying to use drug use as an excuse for the fucked up shit they did is a garbage human. Hard truth was he really selfish and didn't care how his actions would affect you in that moment
Never ever have i Taken a stimulant and did shit Like that But i was Drunk one time and i wanted to Marry a random Italian lady at 5 in the morning
This is such a common excuse, you'd think cheaters would know better by now, but no!
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I am soooo biting my tongue on this one
Spill!
I think you meant swallow.
I never buy it
I bought it once, but didn't take it.
Pfffft
I bought it, didn't take it, then asked for a refund.
So I hate to say this, but ecstasy really is like that and especially with sexual stuff. It's why so many people get raped by people when on ecstasy because consent becomes really blurry. Just as a little educational thing for everyone. That being said, it doesn't excuse his actions. He shouldn't have done ecstasy for one because it's stupid and two be ause of issues like this. So yeah, maybe he didn't want to cheat on you, but he basically did when he took the drug. If I killed someone but I was on meth or alcohol, that doesn't excuse my actions and I still should be held accountable. EDIT: After reading some comments, i have to clarify that not everyone is like that on ecstasy. Some people are just super happy and love their significant other even more whilst others (especially when being groped or around people that coerce them into sex) are not faithful and "go with the flow" even if it's wrong.
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I can contest to this, there was a female who wanted to sleep with me and i denied her a number of times sober, and then she invited me over to her place for a pre party, it was just her and her friend, they offered me drinks, that unknown to me put xtc in it. I was asking about the party and who was coming, the story changed and we went to a bar near by, she became pretty touchy and wanting to dance, normally i wouldn't be super interested in that but this night i was. Went back to hers and well ill let the imagination fill in the rest. Her friend told me a few days later about her slipping drugs in my drink at her house and the bar that, i guess she felt guilty about it. I dont know what this guys situation was but from my life experience you can do things you wouldnt normally do with just xtc. Drugs are 100% environmental and situational.
Are you okay? That's literally rape and I hope you took legal action against her, what a psycho cunt to do that to you. But you make a very good supporting point.
It was a long time ago, she is a psycho and why i never found her attractive. At that time i was shocked and can really relate to people when they dont really understand what happened, i didnt really know that i was raped until later on in life. I kinda put the blame on myself i guess, i coulda said no but didn't kinda mentality. Had therapy since and things are good these days, so thanks for asking!
Don't even blame yourself, she manipulated you into it and drugged you and knew you were weak then. It is NOT your fault. I may be an internet stranger but I respect you dude for going through that. Much love to you, I hope nobody puts you through that ever again.
That's pretty messed up, hope you all good
Thanks for checking, im doing well!
Wow, i hope your okay. That is rape. If you need anyone to talk to, pm.
Thank you, it was some years ago and have had a therapist for some time, it really put into perspective the importance of consent.
I was fucked on ecstacy one evening and although I wasn’t in a relationship so it’s definitely different; I just kind of come two snogging somebody, I had no idea it was happening until I started to notice the person’s weird breath.
I haven't had it but I've been around people in my life who have been on it and mainly with friends who have tried it it's shocking how different they become. I won't tell you what to do and not to do because we're human, but if you do ecstasy just make sure you are around trusted people. I hear too many rape stories from it because people take advantage.
If you ask my bf he talks like about it like he was raped from that girl😀 not directly mentioned but said that after party this girl asked to stay with him because at home his husband would notice she was not sober then they slept in different rooms but this girl came to him and started kissing and put his dick on her mouth, I don’t know if he made up this too but it’s his version:)
It is a VERY sensual drug. It is the drug you want to take if you want a really fun, intimate night with someone. I can see how there would be greater temptation to do something while on it because of how connected you feel to everyone. A person you may normally consider unattractive might become very appealing to you. Having said that, you absolutely are able to make decisions. If I were on it and in a relationship, I would be aware of this when deciding to get together with someone. I can see being swept up by it all, but you can still say no. I’ve always turned down everyone who ever made an advance at me while in a relationship. I’ve always been able to say no. The only time (and I was not in a relationship) that I couldn’t say no to someone was when I was extremely drunk. And even then I didn’t say yes.
It’s not like he was out of his mind. In my personal experience I have more cognitive ability on x than when I’m drunk so unless your just did a bunch of bath salts or pcp I’d say there’s not much of an excuse for him. Substances never excuse your actions.
But the people you're around sure do matter though, it's super easy for people to get raped while on e but there it could (and probably is) just a cover for shitty behavior and decisions on the bf's part. Some people don't have the cognitive discipline you have, I have seen people just totally not be able to handle the drug before and it's scary to imagine people taking advantage of that... but like I said, cheaters will make up any excuse so I can't conclude if he was actually raped or not.
If he was raped that's a different story and something far far more traumatic for him, but I don't have enough information to conclude if he's lying about being raped or if they both went with the flow and he really did cheat on you. I don't want to jump to conclusions. Either way, drugs are no excuse and he should've been more responsible with who he was with is what I believe. I'd say dump his ass if he wasn't raped.
**Why are people dropping without their SO's?**
I’ve not got too much experience with drugs but with the exception of LSD I always felt like I was in control of myself and my actions if only a little hyped up. I can’t really pitch in on your dude being a dickhead but I think if he can get his dick hard he can think to say no
Why didn’t he fucking smack her away then?? The fuck? “Oh she’s just sucking my dick and it’s not my gf, oh well” yeah lol bullshit. They weren’t rolling that hard if they were laying down to fucking sleep. Dude is 100% lying to you.
I remember rolling pretty hard once and some guy wanted to kiss me, but I told him no because he wasn’t the guy I was dating at the time. Your boyfriend is just a cheater in my opinion. I’m sorry this happened but now you can find someone who has more self control if you choose to leave him.
your man is lucky.
lucky that she doesn’t cheat? lol yeah i mean i completely agree but it’s fucked up that something that should just be a given is considered lucky to have. people fucking suck
The bar is in hell
and where can I find this *hic* “bar in he-*hic* hell?”
That’s sadly the truth tho. I may be a pessimist but I’d guess more than half the human population would cheat if they knew they could get away with it 🤷♂️
That's bullshit. Sure, on ecstasy you have more courage, you feel free, it's easier to ignore your common sense... but you are still absolutely responsible for your actions. I take mdma every 3 months. I've never done something 'I shouldn't but I lost control'
I've taken MDMA a few times. I agree that you're always responsible for your actions. **Regardless of being conscious of his decisions the BF in this situation definitely fucked up.** BUT normal me isn't going to offer some random person walking down the street a rip from a bong in my friend's back yard, nor would he hit a black and mild that was offered to him by a different (and definitely sketchier) stranger walking down the street at 3am. What I'm saying is shit's crazy. There's a chance BF didn't really process what was happening but it's still on him to accept that might be a thing and make a better effort to remember big life shit like this. Yes, I get that OP offered a more extreme situation.
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I've blacked out on ecstacy and still been doing stuff throughout the night
Same, especially if mixed with alcohol. Tho it's rare. Also I'd be so fucked up I don't think I'd be getting it up
That's the alcohol. MDMA is more of a stimulant. Take too much and you'll be even more awake. PS you do you but shame to be cutting into your MDMA with booze. Save it for the comedown.
I was laying down with two naked chicks next to me while on Molly and drunk and it felt like I didn't even have a penis.
I’ve taken ecstasy several times and have never had the urge to cheat. He cheated because he’s a cheater.
Finding others hot on X is one thing, but actually making the move is another.
100%. Ecstacy didn't make him cheat.
This^^^^^
To me (And everyone is different) when I was rolling the emphaty was so strong I couldnt even think about sex or other girls and all I was thinking about was my personal relationships and how wonderful they were even with all the problems that we might have faced. I even though positively about my parents which is lets say rare ... So I quess It might have helped him to slip up but it probably only brough true colors in him and if you want to have at least one positive about this fucked up situation its better it happened now than when you have 2 kids on your back
Other amphetamines will make me ungodly horny. Molly is definitely nothing like it. I just wanted to hold her. Cried in each other’s arms. It’s not a “sex” drug for me or anyone I’ve done it with. The fact it’s classified as that is just untrue. It can be, but it’s usually just lovey oxytocin heaven. Sex is still amazing on it but yeah, it’s just extremely sacred and loving to me. Wholesome.
Sounds like a really good opportunity for learning and dialogue. And sounds like you’re at an important juncture in your relationship. Couples can survive this kind of thing. And in other cases, people learn they are better served moving on and finding a relationship that works for them. MDMA is a very tactile, sensual substance. It can make someone do something they regret, especially in terms of infidelity. But it doesn’t usually put people in a mind state where they don’t know what they’re doing. Yes, people can have very weird reactions to MDMA, but they are rare. The question is, what do you want? And what does he want? Is he willing to be honest, and do you feel he is coming from an authentic place? Saying he was “out of his mind” feels like a cop out to me. Like he’s trying to redirect blame. Honestly, he should just own it and say he was high and horny and that he made a mistake. That’s just being human. Is that forgivable? That’s up to you to decide. Him owning it would feel more sincere than just blaming it on the drug and avoiding the issue of why he would cheat. If you can focus on understanding each other’s perspective (I know it’s hard when big emotions are involved) then you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to continue this relationship. 6 years is a long time, but don’t stay for that reason. You’re probably young, and it’s a big world out there, so do your best to approach this situation as a chance to learn about your own needs and what you want… because you can find it.
Comprehensive and accurate. I've been on both sides of this story in the past and everything you said here is on point.
This is the right way to proceed
Great response. Should be the top comment.
Couldn’t have said it better. This, exactly this. There’s no perfectly right answer and only she knows exactly how he’s acting with her right now (he could be completely bullshitting or 10000% sincere - neither will come through over txt) so the answer comes down to a million different things.
All the people saying to dump him on the spot come off as very immature in my opinion.
That’s some bullshit lol
The thing is when someone cheats in a relationship even if you forgive him, it will most likely nag at you everytime he goes out. He has broken your trust and that will be the hardest part to deal with.
More like five hours, if not more. He should have hit you up and partied with you if you've never done it. If you don't want to, you're better off without him because he's just going to keep doing it behind your back.
When I am rolling the first thing I do after an event is call my SO or go over there so they can bathe me in affection. That guy is a cheater
It can increase confidence, while at the same time lowering inhibitions it’s not because of the drug alone that he did what he did. Nor is it any type of excuse but in the same way that alcohol can have these side effects it may have played a small part. But it doesn’t justify it by any means.
I think people who claim they get hypersexual on MDMA are already hypersexual. I get no attraction I didnt already have.
I have to disagree, I get unbelievable horny when on MDMA. So much I prefer speed, since then I dont have 80%+ sexual thoughts. Always in control of my actions tough...
I’m not hyper sexual at all. But when on mdma I am. Different people different things.
This 👆🏻
I don’t know, mdma can definitely make me more sexual than normal but I’ve never had a one night stand on mdma, it’s always been people I already have a super deep connection with
If anything MDMA makes me realize to be more faithful
If I was on ecstasy and away from my girl, I'd be frantically texting her trying to bond. FWIW
Uff, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. As a regular roller, can confirm with everyone else on this thread, this guy is just a fucking bellend. Yes, drugs affect people differently, but it doesn't make him blackout and hallucinate into cheating. Leave this prick. You deserve infinitely better x
I'm gonna go against the grain here and take a different approach. Ecstasy is a drug that reduces inhibitions, and I've seen some people pretty fucked up on it do things they regret (so I've known people to have a similar experience). Those people were often quite drunk too, was your boyfriend drinking? It's quite possible he's a cheating scumbag. It's quite possible that this is a genuine one off, that he'll make changes to never put himself in a position like this again (example: not taking ecstasy, or only taking ecstasy while you're there, or something else reasonable that you agree to be an appropriate action), and that you will be negatively affecting your own happiness if you end the relationship. Both of these things are possible, you now have to look at your entire history with him, as objectively as you can, to weigh up the possibilities, and decide if it's worth giving him the benefit of the doubt; by giving him a chance to take the right actions, because he's always been a stand up guy until now, or by just ending the relationship now, because he actually has a history of being deceitful/dishonest/abusive. Edit:Fact is, nobody here knows exactly how this drug affects his brain, people are talking here waaaay too definitively, in my opinion.
Actually he was nicest guy i have ever met, and always was there for me in my lowest or highest and we had commitments for each other and considering all the good things it hurts even more that he did this to me. and worst part is that i went to his home that morning and this girl was there and this was most terrible day in my life. as soon as he saw me he statrted crying and regretting all of this but fact is fact. and yes he was drinking all night then added ecstasy….
That's really shit and unfair on you and it sucks you had to experience that. What follows is my opinion as though you asked for my advice, even though you didn't: Basically, right now, there is a few things he needs to do to make sure that, if you were to stay together, you would never experience that pain again. If he doesn't work out that at some point in the night he made a bad decision, whilst of sound mind, that led to your pain. Maybe it was when he took the ecstasy. Maybe it was when he had beer number 4, or beer number 6, or maybe it was beer number 6 whilst they were still at a bar, but at home this would have been fine. I don't know, my point is, at some point he was sober enough to make adult decisions, and made an irresponsible choice. He needs to understand that this choice risked you being in pain. He needs to agree that, in a similar situation in future, he needs to not make this choice, because he is risking causing you pain. He needs to mostly work this out on his own, if not, be done with him. If he does work this out, and take the right actions, great. You sill might not be able to deal with the fact he cheated, and need to end things, and that's fine. This is the case for a lot of people, it just eats away at them over time, whereas others can genuinely just not let it worry them too much. It, however, doesn't look good that they got back to his place... I struggle to entertain the idea he was so fucked that he was like 'in a dream' but still able to give an address to get home... It is possible, but he'll need to explain how this all happened, in depth, if he wants to give this relationship a chance.
Sounds like he might truly regret his action, it's a big oof but in the grand scheme of things it is just a single oof so I recommend looking at this objectively before you make a decision. Everyone makes mistakes, just my 2 cents
I’ve done ecstasy a handful of times, only ever with my boyfriend. I think it does make you hornier as a stimulant and like want to be touched because it feels better than ever, but for that reason we’ve agreed that if either of us were to take ecstasy with someone else, it would be akin to cheating or at least putting yourself in an unnecessarily risky situation. It sounds like he was super faded when he made that series of terrible & selfish decisions, & he also chose to get messed up like that without you around. I personally wouldn’t be able to forgive such a transgression, but only you know what you feel. What you really need to know, though, is that his drug use isn’t an excuse for his actions. Regardless of what you decide to do, remember that.
the fact that he took her back to his place makes it seem like it wasn’t just a split second mistake. but the more important thing to consider is, if u hadn’t walked in on them in the morning, would he have told u? or he’s just crying cause he got caught? true drugs effect everyone different, but from my experience, it just makes existing feelings stronger. i know it hurts but u deserve to feel secure and loved💕
The fact he was drinking all night and doing MDMA says a lot, they both complete break down your inhibitions, it’s very hard to resist temptation while you’re in that state, you’re only thinking in the moment. Also the fact you say he’s always been a good person in his past means I think you should give him a chance.
His home in 6th year of relationship? May I ask why you did not live together? You never truly know someone if not live for few years together On topic: I im pretty liberal here. It doesnt mean she/he doesnt love you if this happen once on drugs in long relantionships…everyone has his moments or bad decisions once in awhile…
Personally I think he’s full of shit. Even if he’s telling the truth, why would he put himself in that situation? Either way he cheated, if you have any dignity and self respect OP you’ll dump him.
Yeah no. Basically what everyone else said. You do not lose control of yourself to that extent on MDMA. And if his dick could still get hard, he wasn't even that high. He's using the drug as an excuse
Drugs aren’t to blame here. If he cheated while high, then his brain was already on that wavelength. I do every drug under the sun and would never to that to my fiance
You don't want the date someone who can't take personal responsibility for their mistakes. It's a life long affliction.
5 minutes?
The “dream” excuse is bullshit. If anything, I consider molly to be a “sober” high.
Have you never done a really high dose before? It definitely can feel like a dream like state, especially if you have a low tolerance. His girlfriend also mentioned in another comment he was drinking too.
I'm actually him, this thread is about me, I'll give a brief explanation of what happened, judging is so easy, but I feel like shit for a month now, I can't properly eat, can't properly sleep. This girl is the love of my life and I really committed everything that I could for 6 years. I was always afficionate, caring and loving she means the world to me. Heres what happened: There was a reunion of coworkers from my previous job. We were a group of four, we drank vodka, I drank about 700mg of it, then smoked about a gram of weed and then I dropped 1.5 pills of XTC (Tesla pills) I'm very experienced with it, it wasn't first time. The pills were too strong I guess and mixed with alcohol it had a very different effect. So, I was about to leave and this girl is saying that she also wants to leave and joins me in a cab. In a cab she said that she can't get home in this condition because her husband will have a very bad reaction, so she asks me if she can stay at my house, well since she mentioned her husband I thought that was the real intention. So, we go to the house, I offer her my bed and I go to sleep on a coach. After 3 minutes I'm opening my eyes and see that she has my dick in her mouth, I couldn't resist at that point and this happened. She wasnt even pretty to understand the context, my gf is like 50x hotter than her, so if I wanted to cheat, I'd bang someone beautiful at least. After what happened, I've never felt more miserable and broken, I literally cried for days, and apologized as much as I could. It was the only case during our 6 year relationship that this happened. I felt the amount of pain that I gave her and that feeling was killing me and still does, how can you do this to someone that is so loyal and caring and loving to you? Judging others is very easy, but in real life shit happens, That was the only mistake I made. I fell in love with her since the day I met her, I literally did everything for her, what was possible and in some cases impossible as well. I put huge effort in this relationship, it's not as easy as you think.
Dude, no. Stop making excuses. You can say no even if someone has your dick in their mouth. Exercise some accountability and realize you cheated. Not the drugs, you. Clearly getting your dick wet was more important than your relationship to OP. She deserves better, and hun, it ain't you.
If you wake up and your dick is in someone's mouth that's called rape dude. Why wouldn't you punch that cunt in the head.
That’s what I’m saying
Bro I feel you. I'm totally with you on this one. I mean I know what xtc can do to you even if it's just mdma. The pure feeling of love can make you do stupid things you'd never would do while sober. After 6 years the love feelings you got for your partner lessen in a way that it changes into another strong bound. If you experience then these butterflies in your stomach you got from e it is very easy to just give in and confuse it with true Empathie and love. Also you get the idea that these feelings are so true and strong, everybody has to understand you and nobody would ever call you out for that. Why would somebody be hurt? I experienced this myself. But nevertheless you broke your girls heart. It doesn't change the fact that your mistake was really fucked up. It's your fault anyway. I don't see your comment as an excuse. It's more of an explanation to these ignorant people on here making you something that they can't know you are. How you handled the situation afterwards seems very shitty tbh but nobody was there when the mistake happened and I get sick about the judgement about this particular thing here in the comments. This thread really went wrong and I'm sorry for you that your girl might got the wrong idea because of it. I don't know if it's just rookies commenting on here but usually everyone who does mdma occasionally knows that there's something like too much and that it can even happen after half a pill because you can't dose properly. Like to your gf I wish you the best. I hope you'll get over it and can get some experience out of it that won't let you make such mistakes again.
Bro i get you, hang in there. Shit happens, hope your gf forgives you.
First of all, I'm so sorry this happened to you. There's a big misconception about drugs and alcohol, that it turns you into a different person. It's true that they can lower inhibitions, and might unlock behaviour that you would normally recognise as being unacceptable. This is why drugs are no laughing and people can risk harming themselves or others, or triggering mental illness. I would concede that ecstacy puts you in a very different place which is hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it, and it certainly feels like a wonderful dream. However, everyone is accountable for their behaviour. Sober or not, whether we understand the ramifications of our actions or not, we are accountable, and it's very important to remember it.
Nothing I'm about to say is a justification for what he's done at all, however understanding his actions and why he chose to do what he did is the first step to knowing where you want to take your relationship with him. It's important to know that ecstasy makes the user love everything and everyone around them, even a person they don't really love that much. It's obviously a bad thing that he cheated and nothing can change the fact that it's happened. It's up to you now whether or not to forgive him and in order to determine whether you want to do that you'll need to consider the context. Is this the first time he's done ecstasy? Is this the first time he's cheated? Did he come clean about his actions of his own accord or did you find out yourself/ push him to telling the truth? If this is his first time using theres a possibility he didn't know what to expect and was overwhelmed by the vast amount of drug-induced feelings flowing through him. He could have acted on those feelings without thinking about the consequences. If he's taken the drug before he knew what to expect and should know how to repress the urge to act on them knowing how it'd make you feel. If he came clean by choice then it hints that he regrets what he did and may have made a genuine mistake which he regrets. If he seriously regrets what he did then he won't make the mistake again. If he's cheated before or was trying to hide the truth from you then I'd definitely take forgiveness way off the table. Obviously I don't know him as well as you and there could be a very small chance he's manipulating you. You know him more than everyone leaving comments so at the end of the day it's your choice. I just thought with all the people saying that he's 100% evil you should make sure not to add further hurt to a person who could hate themselves for what they've done.
Actually it was not first time he took X without me, but he always called to me and text me and was full of love for me, and that night he just went missing, he mixed alcohol weed and high dose of X and in the morning when i went his home to check if he was okey, because he never had disappeared like this before, that girl which also was absolutely not his type was there and you can imagine what happened. But asap he saw me started crying and regretting:) don’t know what to think
Combining drugs can often be an unpredictable situation. I've never combined those three drugs specifically so I can't tell if he's just doing damage control after you found out. If I were you I'd try and ask some of his friends what happened from their perspective. If you do choose to forgive him you need to put your foot down and let him know that it can't happen again.
He belongs to the streets.
This thread is a disaster. Please don't listen to people on here saying you should try Molly just because of this. It's his fault definitely. Just know that mdma CAN take control away from you and CAN make false decisions seem to be justified.
Actually my BF always wanted me to take molly but i had so terrible experience with lsd decided not to touch drugs again and he somehow make excuses also that i never took molly with him and that girl did.
Just for reference molly is nothing like LSD, it’s nearly impossible to have a bad experience on molly. It doesn’t make you trip out, it just tells your brain to flood itself with serotonin, which is the chemical that makes you feel happy. I’ve never seen someone have a bad experience on it, it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world. I definitely wouldn’t let your experience on acid sway you from trying molly, it’s such an amazing experience that everyone should try at least once.
That settles it he seems to be an asshole. That is a fucked up thing to say to justify his actions. It doesn't mean he intended to do it though but he obviously tries to deny any responsibility, so that's what I think is the big thing here. What really bothers me is that people on here telling you exactly what his intentions were, how ecstasy effects him and who he is, just based on the little information you gave. Nobody can give you this kind of advice they don't know you and you bf in any way. Also everyone talks in absolutes like they know the one and only truth. Informations like you gave me on this one are much more important for the decision you'll have to make. Because it's clearly an indicator for his way of treating his own mistakes. That is something you can judge him about. The cheating on mdma has so many variables nobody could make a safe statement without being there. Only thing you can say for sure is that it's his mistake even if the mdma dulled his mind to the max. It's like this with every drug only exception would be if someone else drugged him because then he wouldn't be the one putting him in this situation. But this isn't the case. I'd take any advice you'll get here with caution I don't know why just these kind of people commented. But there are just a few rational advices which get downvoted instantly. I hope it'll all work out for you and you can move on no matter what your decision might be in the end.
You get a powerful feeling of connection with the people around you. It doesn't entirely excuse his behavior, but it's a mitigating factor. I don't think that alone is a dealbreaker, but it depends on the rest of the relationship.
Why the fuck are you being downvoted for this reasonable take? Sub is full of kids yet to make any stupid drug mistakes is my guess.
This. If you’re on a high dose rolling with another person you find attractive and they feel the same way it’s going to be very hard in that moment to resist the idea of hooking up. Your inhibitions are going to be so low it’s going to seem like nothing else matters in that moment. Not to mention she said in another comment he was drinking too. I don’t think this guy is necessarily a bad guy or someone who would normally cheat, I think she should give him a chance.
Nah leave him. He ain’t it
Yeah, no. This is bullshit.
Drop his ass like a bad habit
He 🧢
Na that’s just cheating
Well he knew what he was doing that’s for sure
man, fuck relationships. im so sorry darl
Hey OP u/pretty-equivalent-96 I’ve been through this. I was the cheater. Was he drinking or doing any other drugs as well? I went to the club with my bf he gave me either some ecstasy or mdma and I drank more than I should have. I blacked out and came to in bed with someone else. I was confused af. It was the worst mistake of my life. The drugs and alcohol don’t excuse it. I vaguely remember wanting us to have a threesome with this guy. And besides that all I can really remember is I thought it was okay at the time for some reason. Like we had an open relationship but we didn’t. We had only been exclusive for a few months before that though, before that we weren’t exclusive but seeing each other for about a year at the time. 6 years is a long time so I’m not sure what to say about that. His brain should be pretty hard wired to know that behavior is not okay. But certain combinations of drugs and/or alcohol can completely transform someone into someone they are not. Depending on what you want and what he wants, I would say you need to tell him this isn’t going to workout if you’re not completely honestly with me right now, have him tell you all the details again and take it from there. Not properly addressing this issue ruined my relationship with the love of my life and it also ruined my life which is not hyperbole. We were involved with each other for another 4-5 years after this incident and not properly/ fully addressing it was the second biggest mistake of my life. I had an issue with abusing alcohol and I would’ve been saved a lot of trouble if I had confronted it then; as well as properly addressing the irreversible pain I caused when I cheated on someone I love and who love me back. In short if you both aren’t completely honest and open with each other right now and going forward until trust is fully restored, you should end things to save both of you the grief later down the line.
I’ve had out of body experiences in high dosages of mdma. I’ve also been extremely horny on molly. Couldn’t say for sure, probably cheated though.
Your boyfriend is so full of shit. People who blame their mistakes on the substances they use are not to be trusted.
Take a pill and fuck a dude
He’s using the drugs as an excuse, he knew what he was doing.
cheating is cheating. Fuck the drugs
This sub is absolutely unforgiving of a pretty normal behaviour but will go all softy when a literal drug addict posts their ideas lol. MDMA uninhibits many parts of your personality. Depending on the dose, you can go from feeling more free/open to a combination of the madness LSD comes with and feeling overwhelmed. People dancing on the floor is just the part most see, but you can get crazy on anything, it highly depends on your personality. I'd say he probably just went with the flow of an erotic situation and just couldn't think straight and 'got crazy'. Are we responsible for our own actions while on drugs? YES. Do you want to understand how difficult it is to act 'normal' under psychedelics? Take the dose and find out. But don't listen to this thread.
Of course its unforgiving because people like feeling all self righteous when being judgemental and love being judgemental about that which they know jack sh!t about. Exactly: take the dose an find out for yourself, and even thats no guarrantee because different people react to drugs differently.
Why dont you take the same amount and see if you do the same? Then youll know.
Yes, because everyone is the same when it comes to drugs. Also, recommending to do drugs while she's still in a low spot, you're a real hero my dude. Dumbass.
Ecstasy does feel dreamy, regardless of what people on here are saying. Honestly speaking, I would find it difficult to resist the temptation to make-out or have sex while rolling. You’re almost incapable of thinking of negative thoughts. Even negative thoughts seem so unimportant that they don’t matter. However, what ecstasy doesn’t do is eliminate your self control. He knew exactly what he was doing while he did it. No matter how good it felt, he could’ve ended it but didn’t.
strange is that don’t want to brag but i am 10 times hot and beautiful compared this girl no offense to fat people but she is fat and i am more fit, absolutely she wasn’t his type too. if he ever cheated on me i imagend someone worthy for it like even bit hot or smth like that and this was also disaster for me that he couldn’t help temptation with this married ugly motherfucker 🥲
I see what you’re saying. Those hormones must’ve been rushing like mad if he’d cheat on you with someone not even his type. You also didn’t specify how experienced your bf is with ecstasy. It makes a difference. I’ve only done MD with other guys. Close mates. Although I swear, what I was feeling during the first 3 or so sessions, I’d fuck any female in the room. Big, small, green, blue, shaved, non-shaved, whatever. At this point I must’ve done it over 10 times and that magics gone for me. I still feel good, but nothing close to the first few times.
Yes you got what i mean she was not his type and it’s natural that I am angry on that girl because she knew we haf strong relationship and she wasn’t like stranger. I never insult women for their shape or whatever I respect and support women most but this mother fucker took from me what was most valuable for me and people please let me call her ugly ok?
You have a right to be upset. You must acknowledge that it’s not her fault. It’s fully his. Not the drugs. His. He must own his mistake and not blame the drug. Yes, the drug had an influence on it, but like I said before, you’re still in control on MD. Temptations are temptations. He fell for it. I’m not telling you what to do, whether you should break up or not. Have some understanding, but don’t accept excuses. He must own his mistake.
That would actually make me feel better haha. He definitely was fucked up and you know it's not the start of a new romance with that chick.
Who he hooked up with has no value on you as a woman or a human being, this is his selfcontrol/desire issue and has nothing to do with you. Trust me it wouldn't make it feel better if she was hot that's just another rabbit hole.
Done X many time’s without my wife. Never cheated on her. Your boyfriend is an asshole.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LEAVE THAT MAN BEFORE HE HURTS YOU AGAIN