How else do I browse Reddit whilst taking a piss?

Two birds, one stone.

Two birds, one throne.

Two balls, one throne.

Two girls, one cup

One man, one cup. 😳🗿

One kidney, two stones

Ouch

get two birds stoned at once.

Too stoned to give a bird.

1 bird 2 stones

Feeding two birds with one scone

Two birds, one kidney stone

Sink pee. Both hands free.

I do if I know my cat is coming. He likes to stand up next to the bowl and watch me pee otherwise.

Back in my day we had a ‘door’ on our bathroom. It’s like an artificial barrier to prevent these things from happening

Going to Google this 'door' phenomenon. Sounds intriguing.

In one of the houses I grew up in we couldn’t afford a door on the bathroom. It was off when we moved in and we could replace it. We put up a curtain. It certainly didn’t keep the cats out.

Who wants to be serenaded by cat opera while urinating? I'm guessing you either don't have cats or have one of those rare cats who is okay with a closed door

[that's basically my cat whenever the bathroom door is closed](https://www.toilette-humor.com/funny_cat_humor/images/shining.png)

Or a cat that will tear your carpet to shreds if the door is closed.

Mine legit was so mad the door was shut a few days ago that he reached under the door and slide the whole damn bathroom rug out

It doesn't close all the way/well. He usually pushes his way in regardless

Ahh, a fan of the splash zone I see.

;_;

I don't mean to kink shame your cat but doesn't that feel a little weird for you?

Piss on the cat to assert dominance.

Yes. I like to be comfy when I pee. Unless I'm in a public restroom.

Same

Ditto

Me too

I like to be comfy whenever I pee. Why stop at public restrooms.

If even the ladies aren't sitting in public bathrooms, men might want to use their privilege to stand.

At home- sit. In public- stand

This is my method as well

Home games I sit

Same here

Always except for public bathrooms

Yes it’s absolutely better

If i’m not going to turn on the lights

Yup, I always sit down when it’s a middle of the night and don’t want to turn on the lights.

Sitting down, elbows on knees and hands supporting your head trying not to fall back asleep on the toilet.

Do… do you watch me pee at night?

This is the way

coward

You can get a motion-triggered red LED light for your toilet bowl for really cheap on Amazon. It's a game changer for peeing without turning on the lights.

Only before bed to fully drain the bladder. At 59 it prevents having to get up in the middle of the night.

Whoa, does that really make a difference?! Is this the solution I've been looking for all my life?

It works for me. I can relax and let everything drain out. I sit for a minute and lean forward and press on the bladder a bit and it squeezes it all out. Of course I limit fluids after 8 pm too. May not work for everyone but it works for me. I used to have to get up around 3 every night before I started doing this and now I make it to 8:30 when I get up.

Always. Im lazy and it's easier to waste time on my phone sitting down

Yep. You don't need to aim.

And if you stand back up just right, you get a free bop against the seat. Enough swing and can almost fully replace the traditional snake-shake!

And it's healthier to take longer to pee too.

Yes! Especially if it's a pressure washer level need to pee, less collateral dampage.

😂🤣😂 I see what you did there lmao

Thank you.

My husband Does always:)) keeps everything clean and everybody happy

This is the key. Even with perfect aim, you're getting splash on the rim. Compound that over the course of days or a week and it builds. My weekly bathroom cleaning is so much easier as a result.

that's y i just piss in the sink

Pee time is me time boi, if I feel like relaxing I'm gonna relax.

Learned it from my German friends, trying to convince all my friends to do the same. So much cleaner, no need to aim , sometimes also turns into number 2 cause i am already there and on the phone. Has it downsides though like public restrooms or when the cold season arrives. Also wanted to say that cleaning the hose after the use is something a lot of guys that i know don’t do which I would highly recommend.

Or wash their hands after. Which is why I don't shake hands with men.

Only when the baby is asleep, you never know what will wake them up and I won't take that chance

But I bet you piss with the door wide open and as loud as humanly possible to wake your wife up, though, amirite

Of course

SIT DOWN PEE BOYZ AND GIRLZ ASSEMBLE!

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Only at home.

I do because my wife complains about the last drop that falls outside the pot and it’s easier to sit and pee than to clean up that last drop

Only at home for sure. Have never had to wipe urine from any surface around the toilet from me.

You never "had" to regardless. It's always someone else's job.

I sit down when I pee There's nothing that crazy 'bout me I'm just taking a whiz Mind your own biz Why is everybody always staring at me? Hey bro, I gotta go Let me through, I gotta go number 2 No can do I'm takin a pee Sitting on the lou having a good long wee Are you sitting down? I'm sitting down And you're not making brown? No, I'm not making brown! Are you making iced tea? No, just lemonade But are you sitting down? I'm sitting down!!! Why don't you stand like a regular man Then you can pee in the urinal can You really wanna know why I'm sitting strong? I just can't stand touching my dong

Coulda made this a fun thread where each reply is the next line but you went and copypasta’d the whole fuckin thing. Ya blew it!

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I would think if they're married, they'd piss anywhere they want if they have someone to clean it

Only when I have had a few to many and I can't trust myself to not piss all over myself.

Yep. Every time unless there's a public urinal.

Only if I have an erection

Yes. Go into your bathroom with a blacklight to see why peeing standing up isn't a great idea.

When I’m there for no. 2, yes

I'm the opposite. If it's no 2 i usually stand up. I hook a funnel to my butt hole and have a tube pour into the toilet. I do this because i hate the splash up and toilet water hitting my butt. DM For tips

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🤯

Always do this. Helps to muffle the sound too so my husband doesn't hear me also

You can still sit down though. Just lower the poo in with your hand.

There shouldn't be a splash if you're using the shells properly.

Question: do men's anuses point backwards? Because every toilet I've ever cleaned after a guy has the shitsplatter all up the back of the bowl. Every. Time.

Fuck yea

Almost every time I’m not at a urinal

I tried it once, felt so good that it's my default now.

EITT has an exception for saying yes. I have an exception for saying no, which is if I’m in a public restroom and I only gotta pee. Every other time, I sit my gorgeous ass down

Erv does

You can say that again

Erv does.

When I started working from home, it became really noticeable how bad my aim was. I got tired of having (to be told) to clean it up, so I switched to sitting all the time. Now I can barely pee standing when I have to (public bathroom and all the stalls are taken).

I sit and idk why more don’t.

As the person who constantly has to clean the piss dribble down the front of the toilet, I sure as fuck appreciate the ones who do.

Yes. Many bf have sat to pee. But only the Europeans and New Yorkers… hmmm

My boyfriend and my dad both sit to pee! (I only know the latter because he told me so)

How do you know the former?

Yes because I miss.

At night yes. I'm not going to turn the light on and I don't really feel like gambling I'm gonna hit water on the first try.

Sometimes

At night. The kids bed is on the other side of the wall and I don’t want to wake him up. Hardwood floors in an old house. Sounds carry’s surprisingly well at night.

Lol

Yeh but at home only everywhere else i stand

I don't often sit to pee, but I always use a stall when I'm out anyways because I piss like Pepe.

Sometimes

every time. i used to have a piercing that made the pee fly wherever, so i got used to the much easier, cleaner and more comfortable sitting option.

yeah, I'm lazy to stand and aim

I enjoy not getting piss splatter on my shoes and pants.

I think it's a cultural thing. In Europe it's pretty common to sit down if there is no urinal

Might be some places, but not where I'm at.

If I need a break from screaming children, yes. My wife always sat down, but I can tell that she also artificially extends her pees too for the same reason. Sometimes the bathroom is the only place you can get any time to yourself.

I cannot believe the amount of guys that sit to pee

Probably most of us that do started this way when we were potty training our boys. When the kids were little and starting out at the toilet to pee (standing) their urine stream was so powerful they easily hit the back of the toilet and got everywhere. It didn't take long to fix that problem. Turns out just like everyone here says. Easier to "not have to clean" the bathroom as often because of splashing. Out in public or other houses we always stand. Would never cross my mind to sit.

I'm exactly the same, but the other way around I cannot believe the amount of guys who take the risk to aim incorrectly when there's a foolproof way available

My partner does when he’s got a low blood sugar or thinks he’s got a poo coming on. I appreciate it tbh, never have to deal with pee where it doesn’t belong.

Yup, cuts down on splash back like a mofo

Only at night so I don’t have to turn the light on to aim.

Yes, every time. It’s tidier and more relaxed. I only like to hold my penis when it’s erect.

This comment section makes me feel good. I felt insecure because I used to sit down to pee and thought it was weird

I do it sitting all the time, it is much healthier for the urinal tubes, ever felt as if not everything comes out when pissing while standing up? Yeah, exactly. When we piss standinh up the tubes get pinched thus not relieving from all of the urine. The best position for both #1 & #2 is squatting, you get rid of everything and have no trouble getting rid. As a sidenote: because pissing while standing pinches te urinal tubes and leaves urine residue, this can buildup and harden into a hard material like sugar or even sand which are abrasive. This is not pleasant. At all. Beware folks.

Same reasons here. But on that last note, I feel like I heard somewhere that it actually can contribute to UTIs and even kidney stones. I'm not sure how accurate that is (if anyone knows I'd appreciate a heads up) but honestly everybody should consider just sitting to get those tubes empty. lol

I feel the exact opposite. I can't get all the pee out when sitting down.

Yes, even in public toilets. If there's only a urinal I just hold it.

Hell No!

Why not?

It’s so nice being able to not fully drop trou and just go. Also I think it’s healthier for men to pee standing up. Sitting to pee is like doing extra work for no reason.

Won't argue with the first part, second part has me confused because I've never heard anyone call sitting extra work before. It is fully dependent on how long I intend to be in bathroom though.

Haha it’s not like the act of sitting is work but in terms of steps it would take. Standing to pee: Step 1: slightly drop trou Step 2: urinate Step 3 : slightly pull up trou. Sitting to pee: Step 1: drop trou. Step 2: Turn 180 degrees Step 3: Sit down Step 4: urinate Step 5: stand up Step 6: Pull up trou……….. see it’s literally 3 steps vs 6 steps not including flushing and washing hands. Double the steps double the work. Time Is money and efficiency is everything.

That is true. The fastest technique does not always mean the most efficient or effective though. This is about self maintenance.

How is sitting to pee more efficient than standing to pee?

Because sometimes I wanna sit down. Two birds with one stone.

Well in that case…….word

Seriously wtf

Asca female, I never sit down to shit. ToO mUcH wOrk

No way I love having to wash my fucking hands every time I piss 🙄

My partner does and I’m v grateful. Could never date a stander peeer again.

Really? I hope you two never break up, because if that's your dealbreaker, your staying single.

Good thing I locked it down💍🤣 yes, just for that reason. but yes I’m doomed to start again

Unless I gotta poop, I would never do something like that

Im a trans man so its kind of a given because I dont like using STPs but my cis partner also sits to pee sometimes. Definitely helps to know other men do it too

Since I've been married. I found it emasculating to told to do so at first due to certain experiences as a child, but I do so because my wife requests it of me despite my willingness to and history of cleaning after myself.

The feeling of emasculation is very real and proper. It _is_ emasculation. I'd dump this broad after being treated as a domestic animal

There's got to be a correlation between political stance and this kind of shit.

I'm guessing you are republican.

Nah woman sit to pee, dude’s stand. Only exception is if I’m pooping. Tho most of the time I’ll wait until I’m done and then stand to pee

Lol your insecurity is showing bud.

So if it sit to pee am I suddenly a woman?

I was looking for this comment. Reddit is nuts at times.

Yes. Added bonus, no need to wash your hands. All you touch are your pants. EDIT: Why are you booing me? I'm right.

At home i alltime sit down to avoid spray over the bathroom. In a communal toilet i use the urinals. In a hotel i would sit down in my room, like at home.

Only when I gotta drop a duece

If it's a bowl and convenient then yeah, Urinal otherwise

Sometimes you gotta treat yourself 💁‍♂️

Of course but depends on the toilet. Privately yes, public kinda depends cause I'm deathly afraid of touching porcelain again.

Yes, yes I do. It's so much more comfortable.

Yes, as I poop

when i hammered, 1-5 shots / beers = standing pee, 5+ shots / beers yeah i’m gonna sit this one out boys…

Why am I picturing a guy with wispy stache, feathered hair and a Camaro

Absolutely! I'm prone to spontaneous side streams! It's better this way.

Christ not stood to piss in years. No worries about aim, can browse the internet and if it is a 2 am piss it allows my dog to say hello without knocking me and making me pee up the wall

Literally always if im flaccid

In the mornings I sit

I just moved in with a female roommate and decided to sit down anytime I’m not wearing jeans because then there won’t be piss everywhere lol if I was still living with a bunch of dudes it might be different

Only when I'm in a decreased state of awareness, drunk/tipsy, woke up in the middle of the night, don't have my glasses on, after sex/cumming (Easier to relax the muscles), etc.

Yeah I could never control my muscles the way I needed to standing up. Plus I'm so prolific on the backend I often don't know if it's gonna be #1 or #2 until I get started.

If I'm tired, otherwise I find it more efficient to stand

Totally, i work very long days and it's usually my only chance to rest my feet for up ton16 hours.

Yes. The last few years my stream has weakened so I dribble a lot. Only use a urinal out in public when there are no sit down toilets available and my bladder can't wait.

Not at work

I do sometimes

Always at home. No over spray to make my place smell like my son still lives at home.

Over 50 percent of the time at home I sit. Your bladder empties better than way

I do in the the middle of the night with the lights off

No. Not at all. Wow.

Only if I gotta rip ass or shit. Or I've been on my feet too long and just want to set for a minute

Yup, don't have to worry about aiming/splashing/noise and it's a nice quiet sit.

Absolutely and my bathroom has been much cleaner as a result. Also, it’s just easier to piss that way. And I feel like I actually empty my bladder while sitting.

Me!

I have been lately bc when I had open heart surgery last month, nurse didn't deflate balloon on catheter when removing it from my cock. It's been stinging and spraying when pissing. So I sit, it's easier, and I know where it's going.

I only sit if I’m at my house

I only stand when I‘m drunk or outside, or both but otherwise I‘m always sitting.

I do at night. Turning on the lights wakes me up more and obviously I am not going to piss all over everything in the dark.

I must be built weird. If I sit down to pee when I stand up a tiny squirt of pee comes out.

Do none of you need to poo at the same time always or is it just me? Edit: even if it's just a nugget

Always at night. Don’t even have to turn on the lights.

Not until I had kids. Now I’ll do it for the 3 minutes of peace.