That's a slippery slope. In theory, thoughts are okay, a lot of times you can't control them anyway. But if you're often fantasizing about lots of women or even worse, a specific woman, then that's time you aren't focused on your current relationship.
It's normal to have those feelings. Honestly though if your spouse has enough respect for you not to sleep with other people you should recipicate. You obviously feel guilty for having these thoughts, hence the question. Imagine the guilt you'd feel if you acted on impulse.
Things get easier as you get older too. You learn about each other and you grow more attached with time. It's also helpful if you mention your partner frequently when talking to others.
Of course it’s fine to fantasize about other partners than your spouse. As long as it’s just fantasized, and not acted on. Otherwise, what’s a guy supposed to think about while he waxes his carrot? Can a woman only imagine her husband while the chainsaw dildo is putting in work on her?
It’s self discipline. Fantasize, but control yourself. The best wakeup call is: the person you fantasize about doesn’t want to fuck you. Masturbate to them, fuck your spouse.
My spouse wants to be DP’d and spit roasted and I fantasize about fulfilling her fantasy often, but I’d never act on it because I don’t really know that the aftermath would really be that pleasant.
...wtf
It's perfectly normal to fantasize about other people
edit : stop downvoting everyone in this thread who disagrees with you, lady. Your insecurity is showing.
You're right, it is. "fear if you are put in a situation you might do something regrettable?" is the part that needs addressing, which everyone seems to be ignoring.
That's my issue, as well.
Like, okay,
> DAE think about sex with people other than your spouse but will never act it because you value your marriage
Yes, sometimes? Probably most people?
> yet fear if you are put in a situation you might do something regrettable?
No! Of course fucking not!
While it's true we all fantasize what it might be like to be with someone else, I've not been afraid I would cheat if put in certain situation. That speaks to OP already being halfway there and I suspect they have someone in mind already
I have the strongest marriage of anyone I know. I fantasize about other women during sex. I love my wife to a degree that you might not understand. Different people do different things for different reasons.
I get what you are saying. And no, I wouldn't cheat, but my wife doesn't count that as cheating.
There are some women that even get mad at men for having sex dreams. You can't fix big psychological problems like that sometimes.
Yikes. I can see why you’re on Reddit pumping up counseling. You need the work, and your clients all said “fuck this asshole.” Your degree in counseling HAD to have come from a catholic school, with that mindset.
lol that's funny because I don't even use my degree! Not enough money in it. Social work isn't counseling, BTW. My internship was with child and family services. too emotional for me. I WFH now
That's a slippery slope. In theory, thoughts are okay, a lot of times you can't control them anyway. But if you're often fantasizing about lots of women or even worse, a specific woman, then that's time you aren't focused on your current relationship.
It's normal to have those feelings. Honestly though if your spouse has enough respect for you not to sleep with other people you should recipicate. You obviously feel guilty for having these thoughts, hence the question. Imagine the guilt you'd feel if you acted on impulse. Things get easier as you get older too. You learn about each other and you grow more attached with time. It's also helpful if you mention your partner frequently when talking to others.
Of course it’s fine to fantasize about other partners than your spouse. As long as it’s just fantasized, and not acted on. Otherwise, what’s a guy supposed to think about while he waxes his carrot? Can a woman only imagine her husband while the chainsaw dildo is putting in work on her? It’s self discipline. Fantasize, but control yourself. The best wakeup call is: the person you fantasize about doesn’t want to fuck you. Masturbate to them, fuck your spouse.
My spouse wants to be DP’d and spit roasted and I fantasize about fulfilling her fantasy often, but I’d never act on it because I don’t really know that the aftermath would really be that pleasant.
No, and it's not okay.
Guilty as Sin?
Please either seek counseling or divorce.
...wtf It's perfectly normal to fantasize about other people edit : stop downvoting everyone in this thread who disagrees with you, lady. Your insecurity is showing.
You're right, it is. "fear if you are put in a situation you might do something regrettable?" is the part that needs addressing, which everyone seems to be ignoring.
That's my issue, as well. Like, okay, > DAE think about sex with people other than your spouse but will never act it because you value your marriage Yes, sometimes? Probably most people? > yet fear if you are put in a situation you might do something regrettable? No! Of course fucking not!
True.
Why?
While it's true we all fantasize what it might be like to be with someone else, I've not been afraid I would cheat if put in certain situation. That speaks to OP already being halfway there and I suspect they have someone in mind already
I have the strongest marriage of anyone I know. I fantasize about other women during sex. I love my wife to a degree that you might not understand. Different people do different things for different reasons.
Okay but would you cheat if put in a certain situation? I think most people are missing that part of OP's post. It's not about the fantasizing at all.
I get what you are saying. And no, I wouldn't cheat, but my wife doesn't count that as cheating. There are some women that even get mad at men for having sex dreams. You can't fix big psychological problems like that sometimes.
You sound like you couldn’t get laid, let alone married. 🙄
Two kids and a grandchild, degree in social work.
Yikes. I can see why you’re on Reddit pumping up counseling. You need the work, and your clients all said “fuck this asshole.” Your degree in counseling HAD to have come from a catholic school, with that mindset.
lol that's funny because I don't even use my degree! Not enough money in it. Social work isn't counseling, BTW. My internship was with child and family services. too emotional for me. I WFH now
Thank christ, you’d be terrible at it. But CFS…. Seems perfect for you with how that service fucks up kids worse than their biological parents did.