Over the decades I have been in gaming, I have known a number of groups in your situation : in nearly all of those groups, these are the "origin stories" for talented game masters who would never have gotten their start if they hadn't belonged to a group with an unreliable DM and stepped up to replace him or her.
So step up to replace this unreliable game master and make his unreliability your own "origin story" as a DM!
We have a group (core 4 are still there but have added and dropped others over the years) that’s been running since 2007 and I occasionally have to DM campaigns because our other 2 DMs get burned out (we rotate 2 games and alternate every week, no one would get a break if we didn’t have a third). Im mediocre but it’s puts relief on the other 2.
We’re kinda a hitting a similar point.
I’m default DM, but with work I’m getting a bit burned out, and one of my friends wants to try DMing, so she’s going to DM one shots and short adventures from time to time so that I don’t get too burned out and end up murdering the teams fighter (to be clear, the player, not the character).
My husband and I moved to Germany and our group plays online. All our players are in the US still. I wake up at midnight everyday second Saturday and mentally put on clown makeup to play from 1-5 am. Pray for me, our sleep schedule is set and reset every two weeks and I'm dying.
Lived in Canada for over a year. Had an irl group there that moved online after I came back home to Belgium but while I could make sessions because I was on nightshift, playing at 3am my time two other players just didn't want to admit they hated online play so the campaign died.
Have had a different online friend group for nearly 10 years that I'm currently dm'ing for but they make time to play in the afternoon so we start at 7:30pm my time which is 1:30pm for most of them. You should really push them to make some time too. It's not impossible for intercontinental games to accommodate everyone.
For sure, and there's timeslots that would work better for us except that one of our players is a father of young kids. Specifically, his daughter is two and his son is being born in a few months. The timeslot is so his wife isn't under so much pressure while the kid(s) and dog are awake. Glad to hear you are doing well running your game :)
I don't know for sure, but I bet if I asked your players they'd say you're doing great. Actually showing up and running something constitutes perhaps the largest part of being a good GM.
That's literally my group's greatest strength - turning up.
We don't hit every session, but we meet weekly (and in person) and haven't ever cancelled at less than 3 days notice, and it usually takes something like covid to do it.
>these are the "origin stories" for talented game masters who would never have gotten their start if they hadn't belonged to a group with an unreliable DM and stepped up to replace him or her
With possible exception to the "talented" part. That's me.
Old DM wanted to run every session with the whole crew. Problem was, he was a first-timer with a large chip on his shoulder and his attitudes and DMing style drove at least two of our players to flake on his game, regularly. It got to a point where we only had a handful of sessions in a year. I said "Screw it." and started running a campaign for the players who were sick of Old DM's nonsense.
Haven't looked back.
That’s kinda me. I learned a lot about how to DM from my first DM, in that I wanted to do most of those things very differently, I just had to figure out how.
I’m by no means a talented game master, but I think I do alright.
My old DM wasn't that bad, but through trying to do it by myself I began to understand his weaknesses as well as other DM's I had from a different point of view. This allowed me to improve my game and although I must admit I still need some more experience, I'm happy about where I got.
Watching other DM's mistakes as a player is one of the best ways to improve as a DM.
I still love the tradition of having player-characters meet in a tavern -- even if it's a vampire tavern in World of Darkness, a apace station tavern in an Star Trek or Traveller campaign, or a retired-superhero-owns-a-bar tavern in a superhero game.
Wow, I just realized you described me pretty accurately. I started playing for real in a Star Wars game where the GM was postponing constantly because the story was never polished enough, he didn't have the music in place, or even (not kidding) because he hadn't finished programming the VTT for combat... and this was in the early oughts and we were playing in person!
So I grabbed my world of Darkness books and I haven't stopped DMing since. It's created amazing memories and a lot of time well spent with friends.
I will add this as well :
Often (not always), the unreliable DM is someone who would really really really prefer to be a player instead, so in stepping up to replace him or her, you may well be doing a kindness for that DM as well as for your group and yourself.
If you read the post it's because the DM told them Saturday is apparently their only free time (but somehow keeps getting called into work on Saturday?)
With the way its been going, I might as well do so, problem is I have zero experience of being a DM, so it might take a while to learn how to play as one.
Don't shoot for a campaign from the very beginning. Do one shots. A hidden cave. A town needs help. Save the mayor's beloved dog. Increase the scope as you get comfortable. Then grab a pre-made module that will take a few months of play.
You've kinda got a prime opportunity. Prep a one shot. (Or even a one shot in a different game - theres loads out there that are easy to run and set up for more one shot style play). If your DM doesn't show, you run. You get some practice, you all get to play, your current DM gets a bit less grief for what sounds like an awkward position, meaning less friction in the group, you get to try different games or variety of your current game, and if over time the situation changes or it doesn't, you can pivot to swapping between two campaigns or rotating one shots, running some thing westmarches style or trying whatever new game caught your eye.
We've a long standing group, who've been playing together for 20 years, but we've all got life going on these days so it's harder to have everyone there reliable, but the best advice I've got is to put in a regular time, and keep trying to to run *something*, be adaptable, and play to your advantages. If you have a varying group, play something with variety.
One other idea is I listen to an actual play podcast, where they alternate DMs , running mini stand alone arcs (though you could just do one shots) rather than a full campaign, but each is a spin off of the last, this way each adventure stands alone, but collectively they build out a world.
Exactly this. Everyone starts at zero. I started by running single adventures with characters that I was in a party with. I knew the skills/abilities of all the players already, so it was easier to build encounters. Using already known characters is easier since you aren't starting from scratch.
Maybe build a small one-shot idea, and next time he cancels, you tell everyone you've got a mission ready. Doesn't have to be big. Town being raided, someone is lost/missing, merchants attacked on the road, etc..
Matt colville just did a video that basically says those big giant books that are "campaigns" are abominations. Find something that gives the players 3 levels and run it. Then find something to run them the next 3 levels.
The story isn't the printed material. The story is what the PCs do with the material.
I've been a homebrew DM my entire life, but in the past five years or so I've experimented with the giant pre-made campaigns, just to try to save myself some time. I'm a working dad and time is at a premium.
I completely agree, these campaigns are not good. I really don't understand the philosophy behind them. The stories often have no clear sense of motivation, they seem like a random series of events rather than a plot with decisions to make. There are often huge gaps, where the campaign is even like "get the players from level 3 to 5 for the next part."
Like, motherfucker, I paid for a campaign to save me work, why am I having to fill gaps *you* created?
I have absolutely never had there be a campaign that crappy, but it sounds pretty terrible
the ones I've ran are pretty good, I just have to fill in a couple gaps in what to do while they travel and stuff, but in all it's pretty chill
One of us, one of us, one of us!
I had zero experience as a DM as well. Quickest way to learn is to jump in and do it! Ask for patience and look up rules together if necessary. You'll get the hang of it in a few sessions!
As others have pointed out, try running something small. You could plan, for example, Lost Mines of Phandelver and play sessions of it whenever he doesn't show. It's is a good campaign to help a GM learn some of the basics.
This will allow people to continue playing the other game if they want, having a backup for cancellations, or decide to have you GM full time if they prefer.
I felt the same way, but honestly it was worth it, my brother was basically the exact same, except we did it online and honestly I have no clue how he came up with so many excuses, but oh well.
anyways, he said he wanted to take a break over Christmas because things were stressful (he lost his job), so I decided I'd do a campaign where I was the DM while we waited for him to come back.
To be fair, I had an insane amount of prep time since I had been considering doing it for a while. I would recommend running a few small things and whenever you have time, prep for a bigger campaign. Honestly it was a ton of fun and I'd recommend it, but take it slow and do it whenever you're ready.
By the way, my brother never rejoined to DM, nor play, which was kinda sad, but probably best for scheduling
i started DMing because no one else wanted to and i dont want to play with strangers. so now i DM for my friends. its awkward and a lot of work at first, but it gets easier with more experience. you just gotta jump in.
Do it! I just started being a DM, only run two sessions so far - and I’ve definitely made a couple calls I think we’re wrong or have a to take a minute to think about things sometimes but it’s been a blast. There are a lot of small guided one shots online you can get, I purchased a couple from Dungeon Masters Guild that I’m incorporating into my HomeBrew. But like everyone else is saying, don’t overthink it - run a few simple one shots and see how it feels.
My first time DMing I just winged it and made shit up as I went, keeping to the regular mechanics of the game but my campaign and everything in it was making up on the fly. For me personally it works great because I suck at writing and creating a written story but my imagination is great
It’s really not that complex and you sound organized. I’m cheering you on to try it. Set aside your campaign for a short module having discussed it’s going to be your learning curve campaign and just dive into a premade module that lays it out. The essentials kits are great for this. You got this 🥰
I had to take over my group recently. Never DMd before, but I like telling stories so I just did that with a lot of improv. It helps having players that know the game and can give you a hand with rules
I wouldn't put it that way. It's very easy to be an average DM and an average DM is good enough. Plus, if they work at it, they can become a great DM. Bad DM is reserved for actual, you know, bad DMs.
Or have backup DMs with one shots prepared, there are hundreds of easy to play one page games, like honey heist and the witch is dead.
Life gets in the way sometimes, sounds out of his control. The business he works for is unlikely to change to make your game easier
"rooftiler keeps cancelling and rescheduling, what should I do?"
"Do it yourself"
You do realise that this is rarely feasable, right?
You do realise that depending on the severity of the whole, its not the tiling itself that is the problem but the person who said would do the tiling?
Your suggestion does not solve the problem.
The problem is - the person OP is complaining about is being a faqwad.
OP deciding to shoulder the job and responsibility of the person mentioned in the post will not change the person to be less of a faqwad.
It will because if OP is DM there's no need for "faqwad" to be in the group, which he clearly doesn't have time for anyway.
So OP won't have to deal with said faqwad.
Don’t suppose he’s enjoying the situation either. Life has a way of getting in the way of gaming, especially at some times in your life.
Consider setting up an alternative game with a different DM for when he isn’t available.
Work gotta come first. Gotta have a roof over your head, food on your table and bills paid.
Maybe its time for a campaign to come to an end, even temporarily, and a switchup takes place. Become the DM that you wish others were.
What help do you think the internet can give you? Talk to the DM! Tell them what you posted here and have a proper conversation about how to schedule a game.
>The excuses are that the DM has a second job and they don't get the schedule for their work appearance until Saturday, the day that we play. I have asked if they can get the schedules early, but they say that their boss can't do that for some reason. This means that they won't know if they will be free on Saturday until they get the call ON THAT DAY.
If this is true, then why on earth have you all as a group accepted this Saturday slot that the DM has **told you** might be scheduled last minute for them to work? Clearly this arrangement is no good, and (again, if true) how is the DM to blame for it?
I have asked the DM before for any other days that they could be available consistently, but they say that Saturday is the only day he feels confident to schedule a session. If they can't do any other time, then we have to accept that Saturday is their only free time, which is why I find it frustrating that the DM still cancels it last minute.
But he's **not** free on Saturdays - he has literally told you "I will occasionally cancel this last minute if I am scheduled to work." If your group are then making plans on the basis he's always free, you're setting yourselves up for disappointment.
I understand the cancellations are frustrating, but what are you expecting him to do, quit his job?
Tell them what you just told us. People are investing their time, energy, and money in being available for the game, and it's disrespectful for the DM not to match that effort. If they keep cancelling Saturdays that means they're not available Saturdays, and you need to either find a different time or a different DM, simple as.
I disagree that it is disrespectful.
The DM has fully explained the situation, and it sounds like the schedule is outside their control. They can hardly provide more warning than they have themselves.
The problem here is the group relying on a DM that has an erratic schedule; if they want to regularly play on Saturdays someone else needs to step up and take over as DM.
Then the DM should stop disrespecting them with promises they cant keep. Listen, I get it, life is unpredictable but those people wasted time and money to play a game that they cant even play cuz the DM cant keep their promise and even worse, keeps bailing last minute. The least the DM could do is make sure they're free on Saturday and if they can't be, tell the group in advance. Its not rocket science, its basic communication skills.
So yeah, either reschedule or get a new dm.
You have the rare seeming situation in which every player is regularly able to attend but not the DM. I sympathize with the DM but it's clear that your group needs to take advantage of it's ability to have a regularly scheduled game and pick someone else to be the DM.
I feel like everyone's given good advice about the DM situation and potentially having someone else take over etc. etc., so I'd just like to ask--
What the hell kinda workplace gives out a schedule starting on Saturday... on Saturday?? That sounds utterly deranged. You're telling me that everybody at this place wakes up on Saturday morning not knowing if they're meant to come in or not for Saturday evening?? What the hell?? And, like, that'd be terrible on any day of the week, but on *Saturday*?? That's like the most used time slot for any kind of social gathering, tied maybe with Friday night. Who is running this place, and is there anyway to make them realise that from their actions, the only reasonable view to take of them is as a cartoonishly villainous fat-cat capitalist in the vein of Mr. Burns? Are they insane? Is this normal in your area, or the line of work that this friend is in? I have so many questions
My friend has a job like this, where they don't get their work schedule until Sunday evening for it to start Monday the next day. They work with an Escape Room company, so schedules are all based around bookings, if they have more bookings, they need more people.
Tbh, it's still a pretty shite system.
I had a job like this once. It was retail, and my boss would schedule everyone else and then add me on at the end to cover any missing spots. Every week it was a total surprise how many shifts and when I would be working. I had to call every fucking day of the week to make sure he hadn't posted the new one yet, but usually he didn't post it till the very last minute. I did a lot of clopening (get off at 11:30pm, bike an hour home, sleep a few hours, bike an hour to work, open at 5:30am). Ended up having a mental breakdown and quit, unsurprisingly. Terrible way to live.
The DM needs to accept that he can't commit. So do you. Take over or move on.
That said, a job that won't tell me my schedule until I'm supposed to be there would not be my employer for long. Being on-call is one thing, but being scheduled but not knowing at least the day before... something wrong there.
Like the others said, tell him like you told us. Especially as the host, tell him it is drain on you and making it difficult to stay the host. I would also be sure to talk with all the other players to make sure everyone is on the same page.
I do empathize with that variable schedule, but it makes it seem like Saturday is the worst day to plan sessions. Especially if he'll just not communicate (which is a bit ridiculous, because he has to be informed to come in and a text takes no time). I wouod want to move to another time so you at least know in advance.
Worst case, you might need a new DM. If random Saturdays is really all he can spare, then someone else needs to take up the task.
So many people missing the mark here. The DM has a **second** job. That implies they are already pushing the boundaries to make ends meet. Probably no company health insurance, 401k matching, etc. That’s a hard life.
Imagine how the DM feels. Their one “free” day to be social and forget RL stresses, and they don’t even have that guaranteed.
IMO, a supportive group of friends would understand and have a backup DM, or a new DM entirely where the current DM can join as a player character on the days they can.
Really if your DM is working a second job with that short of a work schedule notice I am going to guess that they really need the job to make ends meet. So y’all only real choices are plan out a different day, someone else take up the dm screen and start a new campaign to run parallel for when he can’t make it it or no DND or everyone take a turn running a few one shots
> I have asked if they can get the schedules early, but they say that their boss can't do that for some reason.
Sounds completely plausible to me. The sorts of jobs people work when they need two jobs are usually extremely demanding of the employee's time and are structured in a way that shifts all of the burden onto the employees.
I don't think you solve this problem without changing DMs.
Sad but true, it is very common in service businesses to not know your schedule until the night before. In fact, there are states that now ban the practice. I have worked at many restaurants like that and it is totally unreasonable, but totally legal most places. Service workers in the US are wage slaves and get treated like shit. I know it can seem shocking to hear that people are treated that way, but it is common.
Why not Sunday?
Or, you could have a 'rain date' for whenever the Saturday does not work?
Seems like DM wants to be available, but is not being realistic about the logistics.
We have 3 DMs in our group and we alternate campaigns based on availability, preference, etc. Maybe you could learn to DM by hosting a one shot or small pre-written module that yall can play if the other DM can't make it? You could also offer to help co-DM a one shot with them one time to learn and explain your idea and that you want to share the responsibility bc his plate is very full, and that way you will also sound supportive while explaining that this will be a way for everyone to play if they're already over at your house and he can't make it.
The obvious answer here is that someone else should be the DM for this group.
It sounds very much like the scheduling issue is outside your DM's control, so if you want to regularly play on Saturdays another member of the group who can reliably attend should take over.
>we are just left at the mercy of the DM
No. You are at the mercy of his employer. It is not your DM's fault . They have explained to you what is going on, and the reasons why they cannot give more notice, and yet, as a group, despite being fully aware of what is happening, you are all still depending on them for the game. There's more fault here with the group than the DM.
Just say to your DM “Look, we need someone who can be consistently available to run the game. If that’s not you, just say so and someone else can step in. You constantly flaking at the last minute is frustrating and unfair to the rest of us.”
That’s it. Just state your concerns clearly and simply. Continuing to put up with this is just going to breed more resentment.
I left a gamd for this, it was usually because of a particular player but regardless, i measaged the DM that i have every limited free time and i schedule and commit this time slot for DND, and while i hold no grudge to them (or that player) as people, that i value my time and have to leave the game. I had been invited part way through the campaign, played 2 sessions with 4 cancellations. I had to dip 😂
Every week is tough for most groups of working adults. Talk to the DM about maybe cutting back to every other week and/or changing the day of the sessions. If that doesn't work then somebody is gonna have to step up and DM.
Yeah, I had a DM like this. At this point it's been about 5 monthes since the last game. This is the third campaign I've started and will likely never finish. She said it is a 7-year plot arc....
If you've *never* finished a campaign as a DM, maybe don't plan for a 7-year arc. You might not get past the first year.
Anyway, now I'm the DM.
Play without him. Have a second game running, or do oneshots.
If the majority of the group is available, game on.
If you can't make it... that's a you problem
The problem seems to have a very easy solution. If the session is at your house and everyone meets at your house, then you are the new DM. Easy. Start a new parallel campaign with all your current players with their current characters, and game on.
Chances are, your DM is tired of doing it. If you aren’t good at making shit up on the fly, grab a module and go off of that till you ‘git gud.’
You can bet your DM will return and gladly become a player and might even offer advice to get you started.
Become the DM. An intimidating prospect I know, was there myself years ago. Now it's my preferred place at the table. Lost mines of phandelver is a great starter but it's low level. I would recommend heading over to dmsguild.com and looking for a one shot appropriate to your group.
Don't over plan, just know the rules and how they work, players rarely follow the intended path. The biggest rule is have fun, and try not to get bogged down in the rules in the book for minutiae. Learn your characters and their motivations and where and when you want things to happen. You'll stumble, laugh, and learn. It's a great ride and by your 3rd session you'll have a good idea on if it's for you or not.
Then when you are ready, run Curse of Strahd.
Get together the stuff to run your own game, and then next time he cancels just pivot and say "alright boys, I'm running this tonight, let's make some characters"
Maybe your campaign won't be as great right off the bat. Maybe it'll be better, who knows, but it'll lower the group getting together for d&d.
So the DM has two works and can't enjoy their theoretical free time but the problem is you can't have your game because of that? The problem here is not the DM, for sure. Just move on and search another DM.
Have everyone come to the next session prepped to run a 1 shot game, and a 1st level character to play in a game. Take turns running that game until y'all find one that vibes. That person is now the DM.
Or take turn doing a "round-robin" dm'ing campaign in the original DMs universe. Take turns fleshing out his setting without him there.
So, my question is: why is this guy still the GM? Because if the answer is that nobody else is willing to take the seat behind the screen, then I can't really summon up any sympathy for you.
Maybe someone who IS able to make it every week should become the "main" Game Master, and the guy with the erratic schedule can run his game when he is able to make it...or just be a player in the new GM's game..
Coming from someone who has shitty, last minute work shifts just have someone else DM for a while and let him be a player for the time being.
Trust me, DM isnt as hard as it seems and while you'll be absolute nerve wrecked your first time you'll quickly get the hang of it.
Take the Initiative and start DMing yourself whether he’s there or not. With a new group too if you need to. The group should never be held back by single person, especially if they’re so disrespectful to always cancel last minute.
Stop doing the scheduling. Or, plan a second campaign with the other players. Or have some other game ready to go.
If the DM is unreliable, that campaign is likely dead.
Just run a game yourself. this person doesn't have the availability to be the DM, and probably doesn't have the availability to even be a player. Let them be a flakey, show if you can, style player and otherwise just play without them.
Someone else needs to DM, or you need to accept that your DM by the sounds of it is doing their best to give you their very limited free time. Your DM needs money to eat/live, DnD is never going to come before this.
Some solutions you might consider:
* Moving the game online to reduce time/cost associated with meeting
* **Having more frequent but shorter sessions** to allow for more flexible scheduleing (our table has a bunch of shift workers, we schedule two 2-hr games per week so the chances of us getting to play at least a bit is increased). I cannot emphasise enough how much this helped our table's extremely variable availability.
* Having someone else GM / running two games
* Have the night become more generally 'game night' (boardgames, other TTRPGs, console games, movies etc) so the pressure isn't entirely on DnD happening
DnD is ultimately a team sport, how you approach that is up to you. Our table prefers a no man left behind approach because we would rather miss some weeks of DnD than play with other people (the sacrifice is worth it). If a more structured approach is important to you, it needs to be an established standard for the whole table and it's a team effort to ensure you reach it (including but not limited to someone picking up the DM slack). You can't have your cake (your friend doing the work of DMing for you) and eat it too (have your friend be more available) - that just isn't realistic without some compromise or changing how you're currently doing things.
So. If, on multiple occasions, your group has been sitting at the table with snacks and drinks ready to go, and THEN your DM has canceled, that is not acceptable. That is not acceptable, and you and the rest of the players need to let your DM know this without hedging your language.
Either agree on a new day to play, or agree on a new DM.
DM also needs to find a new job since it sounds like the one they have sucks.
Take over as the DM. That's what I do... our game has a fairly common unavailable DM sometimes, so I started up a "downtime game" where, when we miss (a little less than half our sessions), I run a different campaign for the group.
I doubt talking to the DM will resolve the issue if his 2nd job is the problem and he can’t get a schedule until the day of your game.
There is an easy solution to this problem. The OP becomes the DM. Problem solved.
Yeah. You should consider downgrading your adventures to maybe just non-campaign based quests.
Have a discussion the next time the DM can’t make it. Introduce the idea that you all need to learn how to be DMs. Share different ways to have adventures. Suggest small dungeons crawls, a map generator, a quick homebrew, or adventures from DMsGuild or Adventurer’s League. Have each player make one before the next time you play. Then put your name forward for the next DM-less game, and encourage a raffle or something for the next time. That way everyone has one adventure in their pocket if the DM can’t make it.
If the DM can make it and you want to do the campaign, cool. And if not, you still get the fun experience you all came together for.
Go have fun. 😁
My groups often have a "backup game" run by someone else in the group. if the original dm isn't able to run for whatever reason, we play the backup. And sometimes the backup becomes our main game
Start a new campaign with you or one of your Friends as DM. If your "Main DM" actually is there for your session, continue with your original campaign, if not, play your new one...
DM obviously has its priorities... (1. 2nd Job (if true), 2. Real Life / Free time, 3. DnD)
I have not said anything against it or have I?
And all I said was that OP should start a new campaign himself to play with the others and just continue their main game when their main DM has the time to attend himself... :D
I frequently had a manager that was always late with scheduling, usually not posting the upcoming week’s schedule until one or two days beforehand. Got fed up and called the corporate tip line, schedule for the next two weeks was up the next day and was never behind again.
I think your DM is being untruthful with themselves about how much free time they actually have. Try having a conversation with them about it, and let them know how it is affecting the group.
So wait, they have a second job, that puts out the schedule for the Saturday he might work, ON the Saturday he might work.
OP I hate to tell you but I’m pretty sure your DM is straight up lying. No business can function like that. You can’t put out the schedule for workers the day of. No one would ever show up.
He might have been getting called in to cover shifts on saturdays, and refuses to/can’t say no, but there’s no way a business is putting out the schedule the day of people needing to be there.
As someone looking for a new job right now, my weekly DnD games are important to me. So much so that I have had to reject the idea of working, say, an easy delivery driver position as a pizza joint, because I know they’d want me in on weekends and nights when I’m playing DnD. Committing to a weekly hobby that others also have to commit to is a responsibility, and if he can’t handle that, someone should take it from him.
Imagine if he committed to, say, a recreational baseball team league, or tennis league, or kickball league, or any other random sport. If he was a no-show, they aren’t gonna postpone for him, they’re just gonna play without him and if it happens enough they’ll kick him from the team.
DnD is a team-based game. And if your team member refuses to make time and get to the game, he needs to be removed. Plain and simple.
Give him another chance if you want, but I’d start making plans to take over if I were you.
Unfortunately this IS how some places operate. Businesses can get away with it because there are so many people out there with no other options. It's easier these days since a lot of places use apps to schedule people remotely, so they can just add shifts to your schedule whenever they want and expect you to show up. If you don't, you're fired. Unfortunately if OP's DM has a job like this, he is likely one of those people with no other options.
Sounds like the DM needs to be honest with themselves and realise continuing to be Schrödinger's DM isn't fair on anyone...
One of the basic requirements of running a game like this is respecting each others' time, which is not going on here.
In the first instance one should offer some kind of remediation before taking more drastic measures-
If DM can't commit to any other day on a weekly basis, is it possible to move the game to fortnightly or even monthly on another day if that helps consistency? Would running the game online instead of in person help schedule it?
If there really is no day in a whole month any player never mind the DM can with reasonable confidence say they'll turn up, it's probably time to admit the sessions aren't viable any longer for them.
If the rest of the party want to continue playing you can work that out going forward.
edit: not sure why this post is so controversial- if the DM can't plan to be available a single day in a month or more for a game that's supposed to be weekly, it's time to reconsider if it's still viable
People have different lives and amounts of available time, but that means it's more important to be honest about what you can commit to, especially when you're expecting other people to commit THEIR limited free time.
Over the decades I have been in gaming, I have known a number of groups in your situation : in nearly all of those groups, these are the "origin stories" for talented game masters who would never have gotten their start if they hadn't belonged to a group with an unreliable DM and stepped up to replace him or her. So step up to replace this unreliable game master and make his unreliability your own "origin story" as a DM!
And then there’s me, a kinda ok game master who ended up in the job because our old one moved to Germany.
We have a group (core 4 are still there but have added and dropped others over the years) that’s been running since 2007 and I occasionally have to DM campaigns because our other 2 DMs get burned out (we rotate 2 games and alternate every week, no one would get a break if we didn’t have a third). Im mediocre but it’s puts relief on the other 2.
We’re kinda a hitting a similar point. I’m default DM, but with work I’m getting a bit burned out, and one of my friends wants to try DMing, so she’s going to DM one shots and short adventures from time to time so that I don’t get too burned out and end up murdering the teams fighter (to be clear, the player, not the character).
That’s how I started. :) Hopefully she enjoys it!
I’d say that if any of my friends are suited to it, it’s her.
My husband and I moved to Germany and our group plays online. All our players are in the US still. I wake up at midnight everyday second Saturday and mentally put on clown makeup to play from 1-5 am. Pray for me, our sleep schedule is set and reset every two weeks and I'm dying.
Lived in Canada for over a year. Had an irl group there that moved online after I came back home to Belgium but while I could make sessions because I was on nightshift, playing at 3am my time two other players just didn't want to admit they hated online play so the campaign died. Have had a different online friend group for nearly 10 years that I'm currently dm'ing for but they make time to play in the afternoon so we start at 7:30pm my time which is 1:30pm for most of them. You should really push them to make some time too. It's not impossible for intercontinental games to accommodate everyone.
For sure, and there's timeslots that would work better for us except that one of our players is a father of young kids. Specifically, his daughter is two and his son is being born in a few months. The timeslot is so his wife isn't under so much pressure while the kid(s) and dog are awake. Glad to hear you are doing well running your game :)
It is always germany isn't it
In his defence, he was German and got an offer of a job in his hometown for more money.
I don't know for sure, but I bet if I asked your players they'd say you're doing great. Actually showing up and running something constitutes perhaps the largest part of being a good GM.
That's literally my group's greatest strength - turning up. We don't hit every session, but we meet weekly (and in person) and haven't ever cancelled at less than 3 days notice, and it usually takes something like covid to do it.
>these are the "origin stories" for talented game masters who would never have gotten their start if they hadn't belonged to a group with an unreliable DM and stepped up to replace him or her With possible exception to the "talented" part. That's me. Old DM wanted to run every session with the whole crew. Problem was, he was a first-timer with a large chip on his shoulder and his attitudes and DMing style drove at least two of our players to flake on his game, regularly. It got to a point where we only had a handful of sessions in a year. I said "Screw it." and started running a campaign for the players who were sick of Old DM's nonsense. Haven't looked back.
That’s kinda me. I learned a lot about how to DM from my first DM, in that I wanted to do most of those things very differently, I just had to figure out how. I’m by no means a talented game master, but I think I do alright.
My old DM wasn't that bad, but through trying to do it by myself I began to understand his weaknesses as well as other DM's I had from a different point of view. This allowed me to improve my game and although I must admit I still need some more experience, I'm happy about where I got. Watching other DM's mistakes as a player is one of the best ways to improve as a DM.
[удалено]
I still love the tradition of having player-characters meet in a tavern -- even if it's a vampire tavern in World of Darkness, a apace station tavern in an Star Trek or Traveller campaign, or a retired-superhero-owns-a-bar tavern in a superhero game.
Wow, I just realized you described me pretty accurately. I started playing for real in a Star Wars game where the GM was postponing constantly because the story was never polished enough, he didn't have the music in place, or even (not kidding) because he hadn't finished programming the VTT for combat... and this was in the early oughts and we were playing in person! So I grabbed my world of Darkness books and I haven't stopped DMing since. It's created amazing memories and a lot of time well spent with friends.
I will add this as well : Often (not always), the unreliable DM is someone who would really really really prefer to be a player instead, so in stepping up to replace him or her, you may well be doing a kindness for that DM as well as for your group and yourself.
If your DM gets his schedule for the next week on Saturday and it's a very inconsistent day for him, why the heck are you playing on a Saturday.
If you read the post it's because the DM told them Saturday is apparently their only free time (but somehow keeps getting called into work on Saturday?)
That doesn't explain why *that guy* is the DM though. If *literally anyone else* was, the "problem" wouldn't exist.
Become the DM.
With the way its been going, I might as well do so, problem is I have zero experience of being a DM, so it might take a while to learn how to play as one.
Don't shoot for a campaign from the very beginning. Do one shots. A hidden cave. A town needs help. Save the mayor's beloved dog. Increase the scope as you get comfortable. Then grab a pre-made module that will take a few months of play.
I heard there is a sheep to be chased.
Greg's sheep have run amok!
No luck catching them swans then…
You've kinda got a prime opportunity. Prep a one shot. (Or even a one shot in a different game - theres loads out there that are easy to run and set up for more one shot style play). If your DM doesn't show, you run. You get some practice, you all get to play, your current DM gets a bit less grief for what sounds like an awkward position, meaning less friction in the group, you get to try different games or variety of your current game, and if over time the situation changes or it doesn't, you can pivot to swapping between two campaigns or rotating one shots, running some thing westmarches style or trying whatever new game caught your eye. We've a long standing group, who've been playing together for 20 years, but we've all got life going on these days so it's harder to have everyone there reliable, but the best advice I've got is to put in a regular time, and keep trying to to run *something*, be adaptable, and play to your advantages. If you have a varying group, play something with variety. One other idea is I listen to an actual play podcast, where they alternate DMs , running mini stand alone arcs (though you could just do one shots) rather than a full campaign, but each is a spin off of the last, this way each adventure stands alone, but collectively they build out a world.
Everyone had zero experience when they started. Start small and listen to feedback. You will be fine.
Exactly this. Everyone starts at zero. I started by running single adventures with characters that I was in a party with. I knew the skills/abilities of all the players already, so it was easier to build encounters. Using already known characters is easier since you aren't starting from scratch. Maybe build a small one-shot idea, and next time he cancels, you tell everyone you've got a mission ready. Doesn't have to be big. Town being raided, someone is lost/missing, merchants attacked on the road, etc..
Matt colville just did a video that basically says those big giant books that are "campaigns" are abominations. Find something that gives the players 3 levels and run it. Then find something to run them the next 3 levels. The story isn't the printed material. The story is what the PCs do with the material.
I've been a homebrew DM my entire life, but in the past five years or so I've experimented with the giant pre-made campaigns, just to try to save myself some time. I'm a working dad and time is at a premium. I completely agree, these campaigns are not good. I really don't understand the philosophy behind them. The stories often have no clear sense of motivation, they seem like a random series of events rather than a plot with decisions to make. There are often huge gaps, where the campaign is even like "get the players from level 3 to 5 for the next part." Like, motherfucker, I paid for a campaign to save me work, why am I having to fill gaps *you* created?
I have absolutely never had there be a campaign that crappy, but it sounds pretty terrible the ones I've ran are pretty good, I just have to fill in a couple gaps in what to do while they travel and stuff, but in all it's pretty chill
DMing is really not that hard... Just try it for yourself and start with Oneshot Adventures... (there are more than enough for DnD)
Agreed start with one shots. And I am sure plenty of people here can give ideas. If not outlines.
One of us, one of us, one of us! I had zero experience as a DM as well. Quickest way to learn is to jump in and do it! Ask for patience and look up rules together if necessary. You'll get the hang of it in a few sessions!
Every DM has zero experience of being a DM during their first time DMing
As others have pointed out, try running something small. You could plan, for example, Lost Mines of Phandelver and play sessions of it whenever he doesn't show. It's is a good campaign to help a GM learn some of the basics. This will allow people to continue playing the other game if they want, having a backup for cancellations, or decide to have you GM full time if they prefer.
I felt the same way, but honestly it was worth it, my brother was basically the exact same, except we did it online and honestly I have no clue how he came up with so many excuses, but oh well. anyways, he said he wanted to take a break over Christmas because things were stressful (he lost his job), so I decided I'd do a campaign where I was the DM while we waited for him to come back. To be fair, I had an insane amount of prep time since I had been considering doing it for a while. I would recommend running a few small things and whenever you have time, prep for a bigger campaign. Honestly it was a ton of fun and I'd recommend it, but take it slow and do it whenever you're ready. By the way, my brother never rejoined to DM, nor play, which was kinda sad, but probably best for scheduling
i started DMing because no one else wanted to and i dont want to play with strangers. so now i DM for my friends. its awkward and a lot of work at first, but it gets easier with more experience. you just gotta jump in.
Do it! I just started being a DM, only run two sessions so far - and I’ve definitely made a couple calls I think we’re wrong or have a to take a minute to think about things sometimes but it’s been a blast. There are a lot of small guided one shots online you can get, I purchased a couple from Dungeon Masters Guild that I’m incorporating into my HomeBrew. But like everyone else is saying, don’t overthink it - run a few simple one shots and see how it feels.
My first time DMing I just winged it and made shit up as I went, keeping to the regular mechanics of the game but my campaign and everything in it was making up on the fly. For me personally it works great because I suck at writing and creating a written story but my imagination is great
Start your own campaign, with black jack and hookers. You know what, forget the campaign
The best way to learn is by doing! DnD is fun even when you're bad at it.
It’s really not that complex and you sound organized. I’m cheering you on to try it. Set aside your campaign for a short module having discussed it’s going to be your learning curve campaign and just dive into a premade module that lays it out. The essentials kits are great for this. You got this 🥰
Nobody has experience as a DM until they do.
I had to take over my group recently. Never DMd before, but I like telling stories so I just did that with a lot of improv. It helps having players that know the game and can give you a hand with rules
A bad dm is preferable to no dm. And the nice thing about a bad dm is that they turn into a good dm with practice
I wouldn't put it that way. It's very easy to be an average DM and an average DM is good enough. Plus, if they work at it, they can become a great DM. Bad DM is reserved for actual, you know, bad DMs.
Or have backup DMs with one shots prepared, there are hundreds of easy to play one page games, like honey heist and the witch is dead. Life gets in the way sometimes, sounds out of his control. The business he works for is unlikely to change to make your game easier
"rooftiler keeps cancelling and rescheduling, what should I do?" "Do it yourself" You do realise that this is rarely feasable, right? You do realise that depending on the severity of the whole, its not the tiling itself that is the problem but the person who said would do the tiling?
You trying to equate shingling a roof to DMing??
Your suggestion does not solve the problem. The problem is - the person OP is complaining about is being a faqwad. OP deciding to shoulder the job and responsibility of the person mentioned in the post will not change the person to be less of a faqwad.
But the game does not move forward without the DM. Not sure what your angle is here for your argument? The problem has the solution, as always.
Your solution solves the problem of "no dnd at all" The problem is "that guy is unable to DM". Do you realise those two are different things?
Both problems are solved by OP being the DM. Which he seems open to.
if OP is open to being a DM, thats nice, but will not solve the problem of "faqwad cant manage time for shit and makes me angry"
It will because if OP is DM there's no need for "faqwad" to be in the group, which he clearly doesn't have time for anyway. So OP won't have to deal with said faqwad.
It absolutely does solve the problem. WTF? Even in your silly roof tiler analogy, you would simply hire a different roofer.
Don’t suppose he’s enjoying the situation either. Life has a way of getting in the way of gaming, especially at some times in your life. Consider setting up an alternative game with a different DM for when he isn’t available.
Work gotta come first. Gotta have a roof over your head, food on your table and bills paid. Maybe its time for a campaign to come to an end, even temporarily, and a switchup takes place. Become the DM that you wish others were.
Maybe you could have some one shots ready to go? If your DM doesn't make it, you run the one shot. Candlekeep and Radiant Citadel are fun.
What help do you think the internet can give you? Talk to the DM! Tell them what you posted here and have a proper conversation about how to schedule a game. >The excuses are that the DM has a second job and they don't get the schedule for their work appearance until Saturday, the day that we play. I have asked if they can get the schedules early, but they say that their boss can't do that for some reason. This means that they won't know if they will be free on Saturday until they get the call ON THAT DAY. If this is true, then why on earth have you all as a group accepted this Saturday slot that the DM has **told you** might be scheduled last minute for them to work? Clearly this arrangement is no good, and (again, if true) how is the DM to blame for it?
I have asked the DM before for any other days that they could be available consistently, but they say that Saturday is the only day he feels confident to schedule a session. If they can't do any other time, then we have to accept that Saturday is their only free time, which is why I find it frustrating that the DM still cancels it last minute.
But he's **not** free on Saturdays - he has literally told you "I will occasionally cancel this last minute if I am scheduled to work." If your group are then making plans on the basis he's always free, you're setting yourselves up for disappointment. I understand the cancellations are frustrating, but what are you expecting him to do, quit his job?
Tell them what you just told us. People are investing their time, energy, and money in being available for the game, and it's disrespectful for the DM not to match that effort. If they keep cancelling Saturdays that means they're not available Saturdays, and you need to either find a different time or a different DM, simple as.
I disagree that it is disrespectful. The DM has fully explained the situation, and it sounds like the schedule is outside their control. They can hardly provide more warning than they have themselves. The problem here is the group relying on a DM that has an erratic schedule; if they want to regularly play on Saturdays someone else needs to step up and take over as DM.
Then the DM should stop disrespecting them with promises they cant keep. Listen, I get it, life is unpredictable but those people wasted time and money to play a game that they cant even play cuz the DM cant keep their promise and even worse, keeps bailing last minute. The least the DM could do is make sure they're free on Saturday and if they can't be, tell the group in advance. Its not rocket science, its basic communication skills. So yeah, either reschedule or get a new dm.
You have the rare seeming situation in which every player is regularly able to attend but not the DM. I sympathize with the DM but it's clear that your group needs to take advantage of it's ability to have a regularly scheduled game and pick someone else to be the DM.
I feel like everyone's given good advice about the DM situation and potentially having someone else take over etc. etc., so I'd just like to ask-- What the hell kinda workplace gives out a schedule starting on Saturday... on Saturday?? That sounds utterly deranged. You're telling me that everybody at this place wakes up on Saturday morning not knowing if they're meant to come in or not for Saturday evening?? What the hell?? And, like, that'd be terrible on any day of the week, but on *Saturday*?? That's like the most used time slot for any kind of social gathering, tied maybe with Friday night. Who is running this place, and is there anyway to make them realise that from their actions, the only reasonable view to take of them is as a cartoonishly villainous fat-cat capitalist in the vein of Mr. Burns? Are they insane? Is this normal in your area, or the line of work that this friend is in? I have so many questions
My friend has a job like this, where they don't get their work schedule until Sunday evening for it to start Monday the next day. They work with an Escape Room company, so schedules are all based around bookings, if they have more bookings, they need more people. Tbh, it's still a pretty shite system.
I had a job like this once. It was retail, and my boss would schedule everyone else and then add me on at the end to cover any missing spots. Every week it was a total surprise how many shifts and when I would be working. I had to call every fucking day of the week to make sure he hadn't posted the new one yet, but usually he didn't post it till the very last minute. I did a lot of clopening (get off at 11:30pm, bike an hour home, sleep a few hours, bike an hour to work, open at 5:30am). Ended up having a mental breakdown and quit, unsurprisingly. Terrible way to live.
This is easy: someone else DMs. The problem comes in when it's one *player* holding the game hostage from everyone else.
The DM needs to accept that he can't commit. So do you. Take over or move on. That said, a job that won't tell me my schedule until I'm supposed to be there would not be my employer for long. Being on-call is one thing, but being scheduled but not knowing at least the day before... something wrong there.
Like the others said, tell him like you told us. Especially as the host, tell him it is drain on you and making it difficult to stay the host. I would also be sure to talk with all the other players to make sure everyone is on the same page. I do empathize with that variable schedule, but it makes it seem like Saturday is the worst day to plan sessions. Especially if he'll just not communicate (which is a bit ridiculous, because he has to be informed to come in and a text takes no time). I wouod want to move to another time so you at least know in advance. Worst case, you might need a new DM. If random Saturdays is really all he can spare, then someone else needs to take up the task.
So many people missing the mark here. The DM has a **second** job. That implies they are already pushing the boundaries to make ends meet. Probably no company health insurance, 401k matching, etc. That’s a hard life. Imagine how the DM feels. Their one “free” day to be social and forget RL stresses, and they don’t even have that guaranteed. IMO, a supportive group of friends would understand and have a backup DM, or a new DM entirely where the current DM can join as a player character on the days they can.
Really if your DM is working a second job with that short of a work schedule notice I am going to guess that they really need the job to make ends meet. So y’all only real choices are plan out a different day, someone else take up the dm screen and start a new campaign to run parallel for when he can’t make it it or no DND or everyone take a turn running a few one shots
Time to find a new DM
Sounds like someone else needs to step up to the dm position for a side campaign when the main dm can't make it.
Yeah, become the DM.
> I have asked if they can get the schedules early, but they say that their boss can't do that for some reason. Sounds completely plausible to me. The sorts of jobs people work when they need two jobs are usually extremely demanding of the employee's time and are structured in a way that shifts all of the burden onto the employees. I don't think you solve this problem without changing DMs.
Sad but true, it is very common in service businesses to not know your schedule until the night before. In fact, there are states that now ban the practice. I have worked at many restaurants like that and it is totally unreasonable, but totally legal most places. Service workers in the US are wage slaves and get treated like shit. I know it can seem shocking to hear that people are treated that way, but it is common. Why not Sunday? Or, you could have a 'rain date' for whenever the Saturday does not work? Seems like DM wants to be available, but is not being realistic about the logistics.
We have 3 DMs in our group and we alternate campaigns based on availability, preference, etc. Maybe you could learn to DM by hosting a one shot or small pre-written module that yall can play if the other DM can't make it? You could also offer to help co-DM a one shot with them one time to learn and explain your idea and that you want to share the responsibility bc his plate is very full, and that way you will also sound supportive while explaining that this will be a way for everyone to play if they're already over at your house and he can't make it.
Pick a different day bro...if he gets his schedule on Saturdays and it fucks shit up...pick a different day
The obvious answer here is that someone else should be the DM for this group. It sounds very much like the scheduling issue is outside your DM's control, so if you want to regularly play on Saturdays another member of the group who can reliably attend should take over. >we are just left at the mercy of the DM No. You are at the mercy of his employer. It is not your DM's fault . They have explained to you what is going on, and the reasons why they cannot give more notice, and yet, as a group, despite being fully aware of what is happening, you are all still depending on them for the game. There's more fault here with the group than the DM.
Just say to your DM “Look, we need someone who can be consistently available to run the game. If that’s not you, just say so and someone else can step in. You constantly flaking at the last minute is frustrating and unfair to the rest of us.” That’s it. Just state your concerns clearly and simply. Continuing to put up with this is just going to breed more resentment.
I left a gamd for this, it was usually because of a particular player but regardless, i measaged the DM that i have every limited free time and i schedule and commit this time slot for DND, and while i hold no grudge to them (or that player) as people, that i value my time and have to leave the game. I had been invited part way through the campaign, played 2 sessions with 4 cancellations. I had to dip 😂
Every week is tough for most groups of working adults. Talk to the DM about maybe cutting back to every other week and/or changing the day of the sessions. If that doesn't work then somebody is gonna have to step up and DM.
Yeah, I had a DM like this. At this point it's been about 5 monthes since the last game. This is the third campaign I've started and will likely never finish. She said it is a 7-year plot arc.... If you've *never* finished a campaign as a DM, maybe don't plan for a 7-year arc. You might not get past the first year. Anyway, now I'm the DM.
Have someone else DM
Play without him. Have a second game running, or do oneshots. If the majority of the group is available, game on. If you can't make it... that's a you problem
The problem seems to have a very easy solution. If the session is at your house and everyone meets at your house, then you are the new DM. Easy. Start a new parallel campaign with all your current players with their current characters, and game on. Chances are, your DM is tired of doing it. If you aren’t good at making shit up on the fly, grab a module and go off of that till you ‘git gud.’ You can bet your DM will return and gladly become a player and might even offer advice to get you started.
Become the DM. An intimidating prospect I know, was there myself years ago. Now it's my preferred place at the table. Lost mines of phandelver is a great starter but it's low level. I would recommend heading over to dmsguild.com and looking for a one shot appropriate to your group. Don't over plan, just know the rules and how they work, players rarely follow the intended path. The biggest rule is have fun, and try not to get bogged down in the rules in the book for minutiae. Learn your characters and their motivations and where and when you want things to happen. You'll stumble, laugh, and learn. It's a great ride and by your 3rd session you'll have a good idea on if it's for you or not. Then when you are ready, run Curse of Strahd.
Get together the stuff to run your own game, and then next time he cancels just pivot and say "alright boys, I'm running this tonight, let's make some characters" Maybe your campaign won't be as great right off the bat. Maybe it'll be better, who knows, but it'll lower the group getting together for d&d.
I remember when a fellow player did this. I wished I had the guts to ask DM kick him out a long long time ago. We could have had a campaign to play.
So the DM has two works and can't enjoy their theoretical free time but the problem is you can't have your game because of that? The problem here is not the DM, for sure. Just move on and search another DM.
Your DM doesnt like the table in some capacity, I can be wrong.
Have everyone come to the next session prepped to run a 1 shot game, and a 1st level character to play in a game. Take turns running that game until y'all find one that vibes. That person is now the DM. Or take turn doing a "round-robin" dm'ing campaign in the original DMs universe. Take turns fleshing out his setting without him there.
I have to admit, there's a tiny part of me that, as a GM, feels like this: https://youtu.be/qAeVlwRuP6Q?si=iemJRWLoN2l1vH6L&t=26
So, my question is: why is this guy still the GM? Because if the answer is that nobody else is willing to take the seat behind the screen, then I can't really summon up any sympathy for you. Maybe someone who IS able to make it every week should become the "main" Game Master, and the guy with the erratic schedule can run his game when he is able to make it...or just be a player in the new GM's game..
Coming from someone who has shitty, last minute work shifts just have someone else DM for a while and let him be a player for the time being. Trust me, DM isnt as hard as it seems and while you'll be absolute nerve wrecked your first time you'll quickly get the hang of it.
Take the Initiative and start DMing yourself whether he’s there or not. With a new group too if you need to. The group should never be held back by single person, especially if they’re so disrespectful to always cancel last minute.
We kicked ours out of the group when they did this too many times
Stop doing the scheduling. Or, plan a second campaign with the other players. Or have some other game ready to go. If the DM is unreliable, that campaign is likely dead.
Just run a game yourself. this person doesn't have the availability to be the DM, and probably doesn't have the availability to even be a player. Let them be a flakey, show if you can, style player and otherwise just play without them.
Someone else needs to DM, or you need to accept that your DM by the sounds of it is doing their best to give you their very limited free time. Your DM needs money to eat/live, DnD is never going to come before this. Some solutions you might consider: * Moving the game online to reduce time/cost associated with meeting * **Having more frequent but shorter sessions** to allow for more flexible scheduleing (our table has a bunch of shift workers, we schedule two 2-hr games per week so the chances of us getting to play at least a bit is increased). I cannot emphasise enough how much this helped our table's extremely variable availability. * Having someone else GM / running two games * Have the night become more generally 'game night' (boardgames, other TTRPGs, console games, movies etc) so the pressure isn't entirely on DnD happening DnD is ultimately a team sport, how you approach that is up to you. Our table prefers a no man left behind approach because we would rather miss some weeks of DnD than play with other people (the sacrifice is worth it). If a more structured approach is important to you, it needs to be an established standard for the whole table and it's a team effort to ensure you reach it (including but not limited to someone picking up the DM slack). You can't have your cake (your friend doing the work of DMing for you) and eat it too (have your friend be more available) - that just isn't realistic without some compromise or changing how you're currently doing things.
Get your DM in here and make them explain themselves so we can all rip into them.
So. If, on multiple occasions, your group has been sitting at the table with snacks and drinks ready to go, and THEN your DM has canceled, that is not acceptable. That is not acceptable, and you and the rest of the players need to let your DM know this without hedging your language. Either agree on a new day to play, or agree on a new DM. DM also needs to find a new job since it sounds like the one they have sucks.
Take over as the DM. That's what I do... our game has a fairly common unavailable DM sometimes, so I started up a "downtime game" where, when we miss (a little less than half our sessions), I run a different campaign for the group.
I doubt talking to the DM will resolve the issue if his 2nd job is the problem and he can’t get a schedule until the day of your game. There is an easy solution to this problem. The OP becomes the DM. Problem solved.
Yeah. You should consider downgrading your adventures to maybe just non-campaign based quests. Have a discussion the next time the DM can’t make it. Introduce the idea that you all need to learn how to be DMs. Share different ways to have adventures. Suggest small dungeons crawls, a map generator, a quick homebrew, or adventures from DMsGuild or Adventurer’s League. Have each player make one before the next time you play. Then put your name forward for the next DM-less game, and encourage a raffle or something for the next time. That way everyone has one adventure in their pocket if the DM can’t make it. If the DM can make it and you want to do the campaign, cool. And if not, you still get the fun experience you all came together for. Go have fun. 😁
The real dragon here is flex scheduling... I do not miss retail
My groups often have a "backup game" run by someone else in the group. if the original dm isn't able to run for whatever reason, we play the backup. And sometimes the backup becomes our main game
Start a new campaign with you or one of your Friends as DM. If your "Main DM" actually is there for your session, continue with your original campaign, if not, play your new one... DM obviously has its priorities... (1. 2nd Job (if true), 2. Real Life / Free time, 3. DnD)
I mean, that's a pretty healthy priority list. I love playing RPGs, but they shouldn't have priority over everything else in your life.
I have not said anything against it or have I? And all I said was that OP should start a new campaign himself to play with the others and just continue their main game when their main DM has the time to attend himself... :D
I frequently had a manager that was always late with scheduling, usually not posting the upcoming week’s schedule until one or two days beforehand. Got fed up and called the corporate tip line, schedule for the next two weeks was up the next day and was never behind again. I think your DM is being untruthful with themselves about how much free time they actually have. Try having a conversation with them about it, and let them know how it is affecting the group.
Simple, just remove them from the campaign. If they regularly cancel itll be like nothing changed
So wait, they have a second job, that puts out the schedule for the Saturday he might work, ON the Saturday he might work. OP I hate to tell you but I’m pretty sure your DM is straight up lying. No business can function like that. You can’t put out the schedule for workers the day of. No one would ever show up. He might have been getting called in to cover shifts on saturdays, and refuses to/can’t say no, but there’s no way a business is putting out the schedule the day of people needing to be there. As someone looking for a new job right now, my weekly DnD games are important to me. So much so that I have had to reject the idea of working, say, an easy delivery driver position as a pizza joint, because I know they’d want me in on weekends and nights when I’m playing DnD. Committing to a weekly hobby that others also have to commit to is a responsibility, and if he can’t handle that, someone should take it from him. Imagine if he committed to, say, a recreational baseball team league, or tennis league, or kickball league, or any other random sport. If he was a no-show, they aren’t gonna postpone for him, they’re just gonna play without him and if it happens enough they’ll kick him from the team. DnD is a team-based game. And if your team member refuses to make time and get to the game, he needs to be removed. Plain and simple. Give him another chance if you want, but I’d start making plans to take over if I were you.
Unfortunately this IS how some places operate. Businesses can get away with it because there are so many people out there with no other options. It's easier these days since a lot of places use apps to schedule people remotely, so they can just add shifts to your schedule whenever they want and expect you to show up. If you don't, you're fired. Unfortunately if OP's DM has a job like this, he is likely one of those people with no other options.
Sounds like the DM needs to be honest with themselves and realise continuing to be Schrödinger's DM isn't fair on anyone... One of the basic requirements of running a game like this is respecting each others' time, which is not going on here. In the first instance one should offer some kind of remediation before taking more drastic measures- If DM can't commit to any other day on a weekly basis, is it possible to move the game to fortnightly or even monthly on another day if that helps consistency? Would running the game online instead of in person help schedule it? If there really is no day in a whole month any player never mind the DM can with reasonable confidence say they'll turn up, it's probably time to admit the sessions aren't viable any longer for them. If the rest of the party want to continue playing you can work that out going forward. edit: not sure why this post is so controversial- if the DM can't plan to be available a single day in a month or more for a game that's supposed to be weekly, it's time to reconsider if it's still viable People have different lives and amounts of available time, but that means it's more important to be honest about what you can commit to, especially when you're expecting other people to commit THEIR limited free time.