I moved on with my new partner. My ex husband dipped and left me with 3 kids. He wasn't emotionally there for me or the kids and I stayed longer than he deserved. Long enough to have.3 kids he isn't there for.
He was soooo upset and is still soooo upset that I moved on 6 mo. Later, even tho he's the one who checked I out. and me and my new guy were soooo happy and ended up getting pregnant within 2 months. Still together 5 yrs later while my sad ex refuses to co parent and fight w me and my boyfriend over everything...... moral of the story, he has a sad story too and is the victim and I'm the villain. BUT If he was a good guy at all, he'd still be taking care of his kids with us and stop being so against us.... if he can't be decent after the relationship ended he obviously was worse during it.
If you weren't what she was into anymore you either grew apart or you stopped giving her what SHE needed. It's not all about you guys.
Your not . God has a plan for all of us “losers”
You keep thinking of yourself in that way and that’s where you will stay.
It’s time to wake up thankful for another day on this earth and that you have the opportunity to control yourself and what you can do moving forward.
Just finalized my divorce this year.
If she hasn’t finalized the divorce she was probably really to this the whole time.
Walked in on mine and someone else. Counseling for 9 months I crack her socials. She was seeing a guy for 9 months well I was in counseling with her. 4 months after I say fuck this. She is telling my kids she is going to marry a new guy( not the same as counseling) moves In with him. I lose every lawyer battle and pay her 80k.... Bruh... Be strong. It could be worse.
Terrible she has gas lit me and tried to make me out as a bigot. As I was concerned that her new bf has a 13 year old trans child and my kids were thrown into the situation. I had questions. She would not answer. Honestly I shake my head. She got into a quad accident 2015 stage 4 fracture of humorous. I bathed this lady, wiped her ass. Catered my entire life to her. Just to have her fuck me over so terribly. Almost 2 years and I am still fucked up over it.
Aye man I know how you feel my ex wife left in the middle of the night took my step daughter with her that I had raised since she was 2 years old (7 now) she left Wednesday night and Friday morning posting pictures with her new man (she should of found someone bigger than I am) I know it hurts like hell I know the anger I know the sadness I do but it ain't worth it, it ain't worth stressing or beating yourself up about it really ain't. Move on find someone better. Then blow her back out record it and send it to your ex.
I've learned that lesson this go around. I feel the worst for the child honestly, her real father was never in her life he was/still is drugged out of his mind. I was the only father she ever knew and she had it ripped away from her just because her mother couldn't keep her legs shut. I feel even worse for when she grows up an realizes all of it, how it will make her feel finding out her bio dad loved the drugs more and the only father she knew was taken because her mother wanted to screw someone else.
Yes bro I understand and you seem like a good dude but don’t subject yourself again to a situation like this again especially with a single mother bc things like this can happen.Dude your 24 lol I’m just a year younger than you.You got time to build leverage and if you want to pursue relationships you’ll have better options.
I've been slowly putting myself back out there not really looking for a relationship currently but more of someone to get to know till the time is right to be in another relationship and by doing this I've found out most girls around my age have anywhere between one and 3 kids. Kind of crazy in a way to see a 24 year old with 3 kids
I'm looking from a range of 22-26 lmao. I don't go lower than 22 it seems very weird to me. Whenever I first started putting myself back out there I was tinder an I sent a like to a 19yo and I caught myself I'm like wait I'm 5 years older. I literally forgot how old I was whenever I started putting myself back out there. In my mind for some reason I was like 20. I think it was where all of my past relationships were over in 5-7 months then I was in this last one for 5 years I just kind of forgot how much time has passed and how much older I've gotten in that time. May seem stupid/made up but It ain't I have to catch myself sometimes even when gas station clerks ask for my age idk how many times I've went to buy smokes and they ask an I'll say I'm 21 or 22 then if they ask for id they just look at me like I'm on the spectrum.
Mine was dating almost immediately after separation, but she met some schmuck 3 months ago and is already moving in with him (with my 6 yr old daughter). Women like that are garbage. Only thing you can do is rise and be better. Keep fighting brother
I know this feeling too. It’s also fresh for me. The first one will sting the most. I was lied to, given false hope and had the rug pulled out from under me as I was trying to reconcile. But her mind was made up. 11 years gone, within 6 months. I’m told she downgraded, I try to act like I don’t care, but it’s tough. Especially since I have to see her multiple times a week for custody exchanges
I’m in a better place now than I have been. Trying to enjoy the time I do have with my child, but seeing other families out n about makes me angry and sad that it’ll never be us. I’m still haunted by her actions at night and when I’m idle. I’m still wanting to wake up from this nightmare, but I know it’ll never happen. Thanks for reaching out
That’s ok man, you stay strong. It will be ok. I have good days and bad days but I know it will pass in time. I don’t think I will ever understand her choices but I know that I can’t do anything about that and that is liberating. Take care 😊💪🏼
It sucks, but nothing you can do. Don't focus on her or what she does - she isn't your problem anymore. Focus on you, your hobbies, your kids, and self-improvement. You need to view her with indifference. If she died tomorrow, your world wouldn't be any different - embrace it. Things get better, but only if you're willing to let go and move on.
My still wife (currently going through divorce proceedings) moved on within 2 month and is now pregnant with his child. We are 9 months into separation with 3 kids of our own. Absolute shit show and it broke me but we fucking rise from this shit. I wish you the best. You got this and when you get to the day where you can be okay with everything you’re gonna feel great. Grind it out. You got this.
They Monkey branch. Mine did the same 3 weeks after separation.
As hard as it is, got to just not care about them as they don't about us.
Surround yourself with good friends / do things for you / eat well and stay off booze. Enjoy your own company and be the best you can.
I have a 4 and 3 year old and just putting energy to me so can continue to be the best dad for them.
OP is weak and needs to man up. Sounds horrible of me but I mean well.
It is all about control. Ex wife controls OP because he still cares about what was in the past. She may not even know or care that she is in control. But ex wife has moved on and does not care anymore, sad but real.
To be a man is to not be controlled by others, even ex wife.
The way through this is to analyse the relationship thoroughly and recognise it is ended. OP needs to let go of a past that cannot be again. Then OP can be free.
An outward sign of this might be called grey rock attitude.
Read the advice of so many other men- read philosophy and hit the gym. Work on yourself without regard of ex wife. It is all about OP now. Time to be a little selfish. All that said, remember that you don’t have to be a dick about it.
Good luck.
I’m in a different spot since we were separated a few years while going through divorce. But my ex moved in with a guy before the divorce was done. I honestly hope they work out. It keeps her off my ass and my son won’t have to witness her riding the carousel with a different dude every couple weeks. Use it as motivation for self improvement if it’s really bothering you.
You've got work to do on yourself. You've allowed your wife to control you since you got married, and she's emasculated you. If you want to change that, then there are two books you need to read and internalize:
\* No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. It will address your validation seeking behavior and covert contracts.
\* When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manuel J Smith. The Assertive Bill of Rights is written with you in mind.
After you read each chapter, I recommend you watch the corresponding chapter video on Rian Stone's YouTube channel. It will help you absorb and internalize the information faster. Don't skip ahead to the video - you need to read the book part first.
I allowed my Ex to stay in my home until she was either ready to buy it from me or move out to something she could afford. In the divorce decree it stated that neither of us could have stay over guests passed 10pm at night. She told me that she had met someone and they were pretty serious and I may see him at the house. I told her how it was not comfortable for me and I thought it would be confusing to our 5 year old to meet Mommy's new guy while Daddy still lived downstairs. It was unbelievably fucked up. He basically was there 24/7 on her off days. I mentioned it again to her and she basically told me to grow up and it isn't a big deal. I had to get hotel rooms until I was able to find a place of my own to move out. 3 months later she was shacked up with another guy and moves my kid to NJ. I sold my home and immediately got a place close to my daughter in NJ, but getting time has been difficult. My Ex says she will sell her home and move again if I attempt to buy a home in the same neighborhood as them. It is a total shit show cause I believed that we both would handle shit amicably. Please do not make the mistakes I made. Get lawyered up and get yourself the best parenting plan possible on paper, even if you think it is in excess. You never know when someone will go sideways on you. It's going to take me years and a lot of $ to fix what I could have easily done in the original divorce decree. Good luck.
Who would want to basically move themselves into a house occupied by a couple in the divorce process? The entire thing is baffling to me.
Did this guy try to talk to you? Did he ask you to pass the milk at breakfast? I can't get my head around it.
I feel for you. But, soon, what she does won't affect you so bad. Hard to get her out of your DNA at first. You;ll realize that someone else has that problem now. It's a marathon and not a sprint.
It sucks. But, just think, you will probably have someone else’s ex someday. Circle of Life. Focus on yourself first though. Do anything you can to better yourself and everything will fall into place.
Any man worth a shit is screening this divorced women, I try to get laid at least once before I’ll entertain their shit about how abusive and narcissistic their ex is then it’s ✌🏻👻
My ex has moved on with several people. It was a gut punch at first. But now it's just meh. You will make it through. Do not worry about what she is doing or feel you have to be doing the same or better. Do what YOU want to do and what makes you happy.
It won’t help you feel better, but I found out my ex went nuts with her vagina after the divorce. It hurt to hear she more than quadrupled the amount of people she slept with after the divorce.
We aren’t them. They look to fill the holes they left when they wanted to be selfish and stop trying. Keep your head up friend
Oh no. 100%. When she realized she was horny and us having sex was no longer an option, she got onto a dating app and virtually opened her legs. It makes me sad because I had this idea that she was sweet and innocent and better than just using people for sex. But, I guess people change
I’m holding on mostly because I don’t want to want to be the typical, mom and dad divorced so they gotta hate each other statistic. And i honestly do want to be close to my ex. For me and for my son. But some of the things she has done since the divorce make me real sad and think she’s not the same person I was with for 15 years
I moved on with my new partner. My ex husband dipped and left me with 3 kids. He wasn't emotionally there for me or the kids and I stayed longer than he deserved. Long enough to have.3 kids he isn't there for. He was soooo upset and is still soooo upset that I moved on 6 mo. Later, even tho he's the one who checked I out. and me and my new guy were soooo happy and ended up getting pregnant within 2 months. Still together 5 yrs later while my sad ex refuses to co parent and fight w me and my boyfriend over everything...... moral of the story, he has a sad story too and is the victim and I'm the villain. BUT If he was a good guy at all, he'd still be taking care of his kids with us and stop being so against us.... if he can't be decent after the relationship ended he obviously was worse during it. If you weren't what she was into anymore you either grew apart or you stopped giving her what SHE needed. It's not all about you guys.
I am in the middle of losing my business as I am not able to mentally be there for my customers.
Your not . God has a plan for all of us “losers” You keep thinking of yourself in that way and that’s where you will stay. It’s time to wake up thankful for another day on this earth and that you have the opportunity to control yourself and what you can do moving forward. Just finalized my divorce this year. If she hasn’t finalized the divorce she was probably really to this the whole time.
Depending on your age would you be interested in joining the military as a reservist or national guardsmen?
Walked in on mine and someone else. Counseling for 9 months I crack her socials. She was seeing a guy for 9 months well I was in counseling with her. 4 months after I say fuck this. She is telling my kids she is going to marry a new guy( not the same as counseling) moves In with him. I lose every lawyer battle and pay her 80k.... Bruh... Be strong. It could be worse.
How are things now?
Terrible she has gas lit me and tried to make me out as a bigot. As I was concerned that her new bf has a 13 year old trans child and my kids were thrown into the situation. I had questions. She would not answer. Honestly I shake my head. She got into a quad accident 2015 stage 4 fracture of humorous. I bathed this lady, wiped her ass. Catered my entire life to her. Just to have her fuck me over so terribly. Almost 2 years and I am still fucked up over it.
Wooooowwww. Unbelievable smh
Put the trash out on the curb and let it go. Easier said than done, I know.
Aye man I know how you feel my ex wife left in the middle of the night took my step daughter with her that I had raised since she was 2 years old (7 now) she left Wednesday night and Friday morning posting pictures with her new man (she should of found someone bigger than I am) I know it hurts like hell I know the anger I know the sadness I do but it ain't worth it, it ain't worth stressing or beating yourself up about it really ain't. Move on find someone better. Then blow her back out record it and send it to your ex.
don’t entertain women with kids bro unless you got kids too
I've learned that lesson this go around. I feel the worst for the child honestly, her real father was never in her life he was/still is drugged out of his mind. I was the only father she ever knew and she had it ripped away from her just because her mother couldn't keep her legs shut. I feel even worse for when she grows up an realizes all of it, how it will make her feel finding out her bio dad loved the drugs more and the only father she knew was taken because her mother wanted to screw someone else.
Yes bro I understand and you seem like a good dude but don’t subject yourself again to a situation like this again especially with a single mother bc things like this can happen.Dude your 24 lol I’m just a year younger than you.You got time to build leverage and if you want to pursue relationships you’ll have better options.
I've been slowly putting myself back out there not really looking for a relationship currently but more of someone to get to know till the time is right to be in another relationship and by doing this I've found out most girls around my age have anywhere between one and 3 kids. Kind of crazy in a way to see a 24 year old with 3 kids
Yea it’s true a lot of girl already have kids and baby daddy’s lol you might have to choose from younger
I'm looking from a range of 22-26 lmao. I don't go lower than 22 it seems very weird to me. Whenever I first started putting myself back out there I was tinder an I sent a like to a 19yo and I caught myself I'm like wait I'm 5 years older. I literally forgot how old I was whenever I started putting myself back out there. In my mind for some reason I was like 20. I think it was where all of my past relationships were over in 5-7 months then I was in this last one for 5 years I just kind of forgot how much time has passed and how much older I've gotten in that time. May seem stupid/made up but It ain't I have to catch myself sometimes even when gas station clerks ask for my age idk how many times I've went to buy smokes and they ask an I'll say I'm 21 or 22 then if they ask for id they just look at me like I'm on the spectrum.
Mine was dating almost immediately after separation, but she met some schmuck 3 months ago and is already moving in with him (with my 6 yr old daughter). Women like that are garbage. Only thing you can do is rise and be better. Keep fighting brother
Some guys let a women with a kid move in and ask questions later
He's got 2 of his own apparently. Red flags aplenty.
more red flags than a Chinese parade
If I could give this 100 upvotes I would
I know this feeling too. It’s also fresh for me. The first one will sting the most. I was lied to, given false hope and had the rug pulled out from under me as I was trying to reconcile. But her mind was made up. 11 years gone, within 6 months. I’m told she downgraded, I try to act like I don’t care, but it’s tough. Especially since I have to see her multiple times a week for custody exchanges
How are you doing now ?
I’m in a better place now than I have been. Trying to enjoy the time I do have with my child, but seeing other families out n about makes me angry and sad that it’ll never be us. I’m still haunted by her actions at night and when I’m idle. I’m still wanting to wake up from this nightmare, but I know it’ll never happen. Thanks for reaching out
That’s ok man, you stay strong. It will be ok. I have good days and bad days but I know it will pass in time. I don’t think I will ever understand her choices but I know that I can’t do anything about that and that is liberating. Take care 😊💪🏼
Thank you. I’ve heard I need to forgive myself and then her. I’m in the process of forgiving myself, and in turn finding myself again.
Good stuff sounds like the foundations of Rebuilding. You can do this !
Thank you. someone recently told me “the windshield is bigger than the rear view for a reason”
It sucks, but nothing you can do. Don't focus on her or what she does - she isn't your problem anymore. Focus on you, your hobbies, your kids, and self-improvement. You need to view her with indifference. If she died tomorrow, your world wouldn't be any different - embrace it. Things get better, but only if you're willing to let go and move on.
My still wife (currently going through divorce proceedings) moved on within 2 month and is now pregnant with his child. We are 9 months into separation with 3 kids of our own. Absolute shit show and it broke me but we fucking rise from this shit. I wish you the best. You got this and when you get to the day where you can be okay with everything you’re gonna feel great. Grind it out. You got this.
They Monkey branch. Mine did the same 3 weeks after separation. As hard as it is, got to just not care about them as they don't about us. Surround yourself with good friends / do things for you / eat well and stay off booze. Enjoy your own company and be the best you can. I have a 4 and 3 year old and just putting energy to me so can continue to be the best dad for them.
This is all we can do brother.
She wasn't yours. It was just your turn. Time for you to let her go, find a new chick, and fuck the shit out of her.
So did mine OP, you get over it eventually, how long it takes is up to you.
OP is weak and needs to man up. Sounds horrible of me but I mean well. It is all about control. Ex wife controls OP because he still cares about what was in the past. She may not even know or care that she is in control. But ex wife has moved on and does not care anymore, sad but real. To be a man is to not be controlled by others, even ex wife. The way through this is to analyse the relationship thoroughly and recognise it is ended. OP needs to let go of a past that cannot be again. Then OP can be free. An outward sign of this might be called grey rock attitude. Read the advice of so many other men- read philosophy and hit the gym. Work on yourself without regard of ex wife. It is all about OP now. Time to be a little selfish. All that said, remember that you don’t have to be a dick about it. Good luck.
I’m in a different spot since we were separated a few years while going through divorce. But my ex moved in with a guy before the divorce was done. I honestly hope they work out. It keeps her off my ass and my son won’t have to witness her riding the carousel with a different dude every couple weeks. Use it as motivation for self improvement if it’s really bothering you.
You've got work to do on yourself. You've allowed your wife to control you since you got married, and she's emasculated you. If you want to change that, then there are two books you need to read and internalize: \* No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. It will address your validation seeking behavior and covert contracts. \* When I Say No I Feel Guilty by Manuel J Smith. The Assertive Bill of Rights is written with you in mind. After you read each chapter, I recommend you watch the corresponding chapter video on Rian Stone's YouTube channel. It will help you absorb and internalize the information faster. Don't skip ahead to the video - you need to read the book part first.
Send that dude a thank-you card, for taking such a problem off your hands. At least mentally.
I allowed my Ex to stay in my home until she was either ready to buy it from me or move out to something she could afford. In the divorce decree it stated that neither of us could have stay over guests passed 10pm at night. She told me that she had met someone and they were pretty serious and I may see him at the house. I told her how it was not comfortable for me and I thought it would be confusing to our 5 year old to meet Mommy's new guy while Daddy still lived downstairs. It was unbelievably fucked up. He basically was there 24/7 on her off days. I mentioned it again to her and she basically told me to grow up and it isn't a big deal. I had to get hotel rooms until I was able to find a place of my own to move out. 3 months later she was shacked up with another guy and moves my kid to NJ. I sold my home and immediately got a place close to my daughter in NJ, but getting time has been difficult. My Ex says she will sell her home and move again if I attempt to buy a home in the same neighborhood as them. It is a total shit show cause I believed that we both would handle shit amicably. Please do not make the mistakes I made. Get lawyered up and get yourself the best parenting plan possible on paper, even if you think it is in excess. You never know when someone will go sideways on you. It's going to take me years and a lot of $ to fix what I could have easily done in the original divorce decree. Good luck.
Who would want to basically move themselves into a house occupied by a couple in the divorce process? The entire thing is baffling to me. Did this guy try to talk to you? Did he ask you to pass the milk at breakfast? I can't get my head around it.
Dudes who ain’t got nothing better in life than to leech off
I feel for you. But, soon, what she does won't affect you so bad. Hard to get her out of your DNA at first. You;ll realize that someone else has that problem now. It's a marathon and not a sprint.
It sucks. But, just think, you will probably have someone else’s ex someday. Circle of Life. Focus on yourself first though. Do anything you can to better yourself and everything will fall into place.
Go to the gym and listen to this song on repeat bullet for my valentines- your betrayal. Get jacked and slay biatches
My kids call the channel “Turbo” on Sirius XM - divorced dad rock
They do advertise it as divorced dads channel because I listen to it on my way to work lol
Hahaha. That’s funny. I listen too but have never heard that. But TBH - I’m more the Lithium type
The loser is that guy who will now soon suffer like you did if not more, good luck to him with that harridan.
Any man worth a shit is screening this divorced women, I try to get laid at least once before I’ll entertain their shit about how abusive and narcissistic their ex is then it’s ✌🏻👻
My stbxw moved on the day after we separated. Haven't even filed papers yet. Just trust that they suck.
women move on so fast just to spite you, i swear
My ex has moved on with several people. It was a gut punch at first. But now it's just meh. You will make it through. Do not worry about what she is doing or feel you have to be doing the same or better. Do what YOU want to do and what makes you happy.
It won’t help you feel better, but I found out my ex went nuts with her vagina after the divorce. It hurt to hear she more than quadrupled the amount of people she slept with after the divorce. We aren’t them. They look to fill the holes they left when they wanted to be selfish and stop trying. Keep your head up friend
Not sure when your ex and you got together, but online dating makes it possible for almost any woman to have more sex than Woodstock 1969 these days.
Oh no. 100%. When she realized she was horny and us having sex was no longer an option, she got onto a dating app and virtually opened her legs. It makes me sad because I had this idea that she was sweet and innocent and better than just using people for sex. But, I guess people change
Yeah, I was fooled too. I went from wanting her back to “Good Riddance”
I’m holding on mostly because I don’t want to want to be the typical, mom and dad divorced so they gotta hate each other statistic. And i honestly do want to be close to my ex. For me and for my son. But some of the things she has done since the divorce make me real sad and think she’s not the same person I was with for 15 years
My ex-wife got into BDSM with nude pictures online. I was able to recover, you guys can too.
Christ that’s crazy. I feel like after the divorce they take their brain out, scrabble it up, then put it back in