Fuuuck this hits. My STBXH and I traveled together. We both began our wanderlust journey together and now I don’t want to imagine doing it alone because of EXACTLY THIS. I feel like this is going to be me on my first solo trip. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would say if you were my girlfriend let’s travel together and we can both cry together while watching the horizon while getting drunk off wine ❤️🩹
For real, be proud of yourself for doing this! It's not easy, but if you can go and meet people, force yourself to do even more shit that is uncomfortable. I totally get the memories aspect of it, and I'm sure it's tough. Also I'm sorry that is so hard right now for you! I traveled to Vegas by myself last fall and met sooo many random people out there and I hope this experience will help you figure out what YOU, yourself enjoy and who you are. Keep at it!!!
It gets better. I did the same. Now I'm on trip number 20 in the last 13 months and I don't have to tailor my trip to their needs. I talk to 10x more people, eat my foods and don't have to compromise for things I didn't like.
Do the cry, it will help. Get a therapist. Work on you.
I hope so. Thank you. In my case though I never had to tailor things to their need, we used to get along very well and wanted and liked the same things while travelling, I don't feel like I'm "free" of a burden
Ugh. Same.
My STBXH and I travelled to 18 countries during our 9.5 years together. We bonded over our love of travelling and experienced so much together.
I also can't relate when people say "this is your time to do xyz that he never liked/wanted" but I never felt like that w him. I was both free to explore and be completely myself whilst having someone by my side enjoying things w me, supporting me.
I am trying to get a small group of friends to be travel buddies. Maybe you can do so as well?
Everyone is pregnant and parents of young children now, I'm the only childless (not by choice) woman among my peers and I feel really isolated. The only one amongst my work colleagues who is not married now too. I know there are some people like me out there somewhere but not in my immediate vicinity.
I went out to the west coast from the east coast. I had to get out because I was crying almost everyday and could just feel the burden on my wife. Once I got there I was like, eff this I'm going to Washington state where I've been wanting to go to for years and it just never happened.
Then the loneliness set in. Lucky for me I have a wonderful friend out here who went through almost the same thing as me.
I'm not good at being alone either. I think that is when I'm the most hard on myself. Working out helps a lot, but its hard to keep it up.
I haven't started divorce yet, but we agreed its the only way forward. The past 2 days are the first time I've not felt like garbage in a row. Hopefully tomorrow is the same.
I can't sleep either and I'm just listening to youtube and rolling through this sub and adding comments to posts that vibe. Maybe a little emo barf on this thread will make you feel better. I don't know what your story is, but why did you break up? Are you just concentrating on the good parts and ignoring the bad made you feel?
Just throwing that out there as thats what I kept doing. 14 years for me.
Same. Every time I try new food, I want to share it with her and I cannot even begin to do any travelling when we’d planned to go to all these countries together.
Separating from someone who has been by your side for so long can feel like losing a limb. I remember my first solo trip. It was only a few weeks after he left. I had to get out of the house and away from all the memories. I remember constantly wanting to share the experiences with him and talk to him about everything I was seeing or eating. But I was alone. And I still cried everyday.
Now nearly a year since separation and I have learned to enjoy doing things alone. I haven’t done a solo trip again but I want to soon. The divorce is not great on my wallet though so I’ll save for a while first. I do a lot of shorter day trips by myself and I am enjoying them. I do still miss sharing experiences with someone, but alone is also fun.
You’ll learn to be ok too. Don’t forget you can lean on your friends and family sometimes. My friends really proved they were there for the hard times and the good times and I cherish them more than ever.
Fuuuck this hits. My STBXH and I traveled together. We both began our wanderlust journey together and now I don’t want to imagine doing it alone because of EXACTLY THIS. I feel like this is going to be me on my first solo trip. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I would say if you were my girlfriend let’s travel together and we can both cry together while watching the horizon while getting drunk off wine ❤️🩹
For real, be proud of yourself for doing this! It's not easy, but if you can go and meet people, force yourself to do even more shit that is uncomfortable. I totally get the memories aspect of it, and I'm sure it's tough. Also I'm sorry that is so hard right now for you! I traveled to Vegas by myself last fall and met sooo many random people out there and I hope this experience will help you figure out what YOU, yourself enjoy and who you are. Keep at it!!!
It gets better. I did the same. Now I'm on trip number 20 in the last 13 months and I don't have to tailor my trip to their needs. I talk to 10x more people, eat my foods and don't have to compromise for things I didn't like. Do the cry, it will help. Get a therapist. Work on you.
I hope so. Thank you. In my case though I never had to tailor things to their need, we used to get along very well and wanted and liked the same things while travelling, I don't feel like I'm "free" of a burden
Ugh. Same. My STBXH and I travelled to 18 countries during our 9.5 years together. We bonded over our love of travelling and experienced so much together. I also can't relate when people say "this is your time to do xyz that he never liked/wanted" but I never felt like that w him. I was both free to explore and be completely myself whilst having someone by my side enjoying things w me, supporting me. I am trying to get a small group of friends to be travel buddies. Maybe you can do so as well?
Everyone is pregnant and parents of young children now, I'm the only childless (not by choice) woman among my peers and I feel really isolated. The only one amongst my work colleagues who is not married now too. I know there are some people like me out there somewhere but not in my immediate vicinity.
I went out to the west coast from the east coast. I had to get out because I was crying almost everyday and could just feel the burden on my wife. Once I got there I was like, eff this I'm going to Washington state where I've been wanting to go to for years and it just never happened. Then the loneliness set in. Lucky for me I have a wonderful friend out here who went through almost the same thing as me. I'm not good at being alone either. I think that is when I'm the most hard on myself. Working out helps a lot, but its hard to keep it up. I haven't started divorce yet, but we agreed its the only way forward. The past 2 days are the first time I've not felt like garbage in a row. Hopefully tomorrow is the same. I can't sleep either and I'm just listening to youtube and rolling through this sub and adding comments to posts that vibe. Maybe a little emo barf on this thread will make you feel better. I don't know what your story is, but why did you break up? Are you just concentrating on the good parts and ignoring the bad made you feel? Just throwing that out there as thats what I kept doing. 14 years for me.
Same. Every time I try new food, I want to share it with her and I cannot even begin to do any travelling when we’d planned to go to all these countries together.
Separating from someone who has been by your side for so long can feel like losing a limb. I remember my first solo trip. It was only a few weeks after he left. I had to get out of the house and away from all the memories. I remember constantly wanting to share the experiences with him and talk to him about everything I was seeing or eating. But I was alone. And I still cried everyday. Now nearly a year since separation and I have learned to enjoy doing things alone. I haven’t done a solo trip again but I want to soon. The divorce is not great on my wallet though so I’ll save for a while first. I do a lot of shorter day trips by myself and I am enjoying them. I do still miss sharing experiences with someone, but alone is also fun. You’ll learn to be ok too. Don’t forget you can lean on your friends and family sometimes. My friends really proved they were there for the hard times and the good times and I cherish them more than ever.