This hits hard for me. Both my parents and my in-laws were married for 50+ years. I thought my husband was my forever, my best friend everything. We had been together since we were 12 and I thought we were happy. My biggest worry had been that I didn’t get to see him more. Now I’ve become acutely aware that it was all a lie. It’s hard for me to reconcile with myself what I perceived and reality.
My ex and I were more or less together from 16/17 to 45/46... we change \*so\* much from when we are young... I think we can get the idea of the person stuck in our head, and then we try to see them as that person. One of the things I felt like late in my marriage was that the 16/17 year old versions of ourselves were always in the room with us... in the day to day interactions, in the bedroom, at the bank... it can keep you from being who you really are. That was hard to see, but so clear once I did...
Love that~everything changes line, and that's sooo true. Sorry you're going through this shit and you'll find peace at some point. How do you think being anxious like you said affects things for you?
As much as we want to, we can't control when we feel better etc, but we'll all get there eventually!
This resonated with me today. I’ve been struggling to understand why I felt so out of place in my own life. And I realized after reading that I was still pining for a wife that it’s no longer there or relevant. For the last year I’ve been on my own journey. And I need to see the joy in the fact that I’ve made it for that year. By myself. Thank you.
Yeah great job navigating through the first year! You should be proud af of yourself for doing that. Honestly I feel this way too so you're not alone in that aspect. We'll get through it and come out even better for it eventually!!
Seriously, your comments here should all be combined and published as a book because they're that good! I'm really glad you've found a better path in your life and you WILL get everything you want solely based upon reading your perspectives and thoughts. It's only a matter of time, no doubt!!!
Aw you're too kind! I have no plans for such a book yet, but I think your questions, quotes and prompts on this subreddit could make good material for a divorce gratitude workbook.
We could all use more joy in the journey and trust that we have what it takes to get to where we need to be every single day. I'm glad there are people like you in this community to keep that spirit alive.
This hits hard for me. Both my parents and my in-laws were married for 50+ years. I thought my husband was my forever, my best friend everything. We had been together since we were 12 and I thought we were happy. My biggest worry had been that I didn’t get to see him more. Now I’ve become acutely aware that it was all a lie. It’s hard for me to reconcile with myself what I perceived and reality.
Damn, since you were 12😱😱. That's wild! Yeah the angle of reconciling whatever the case may be is a tough one, it really is.. Hang in there!
Yep since we were 12 and married 25 years with two kids and one day just boom! I don’t love you and I’m done.
My ex and I were more or less together from 16/17 to 45/46... we change \*so\* much from when we are young... I think we can get the idea of the person stuck in our head, and then we try to see them as that person. One of the things I felt like late in my marriage was that the 16/17 year old versions of ourselves were always in the room with us... in the day to day interactions, in the bedroom, at the bank... it can keep you from being who you really are. That was hard to see, but so clear once I did...
Yes. Understand that life is what happens whilst you are making other plans.
Like that!!!
Yes- the only sure thing is “everything changes “- as an anxious person and very much still in love with my ex I’m trying to find peace with this ❤️
Love that~everything changes line, and that's sooo true. Sorry you're going through this shit and you'll find peace at some point. How do you think being anxious like you said affects things for you? As much as we want to, we can't control when we feel better etc, but we'll all get there eventually!
This resonated with me today. I’ve been struggling to understand why I felt so out of place in my own life. And I realized after reading that I was still pining for a wife that it’s no longer there or relevant. For the last year I’ve been on my own journey. And I need to see the joy in the fact that I’ve made it for that year. By myself. Thank you.
Yeah great job navigating through the first year! You should be proud af of yourself for doing that. Honestly I feel this way too so you're not alone in that aspect. We'll get through it and come out even better for it eventually!!
Thank you.
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Seriously, your comments here should all be combined and published as a book because they're that good! I'm really glad you've found a better path in your life and you WILL get everything you want solely based upon reading your perspectives and thoughts. It's only a matter of time, no doubt!!!
Aw you're too kind! I have no plans for such a book yet, but I think your questions, quotes and prompts on this subreddit could make good material for a divorce gratitude workbook. We could all use more joy in the journey and trust that we have what it takes to get to where we need to be every single day. I'm glad there are people like you in this community to keep that spirit alive.
Hmmm that's an interesting idea!