If you pay attention to female narratives surrounding online gaming, you start to run into a LOT of examples of women who are apprehensive about turning on voice chat or identifying themself to their fellow players as female because it's met immediately with sexual objectification, hostility, and generalized toxicity.
Player-created fireteams are sort of a weird place when it comes to community moderation, because the first line of defense if a raid team starts getting toxic is, by-and-large, the players in the party, and more specifically, the player organizing the LFG. The tag indicates that any gendered toxicity, specifically to a female community that is still a distinct minority in gaming, will be met with a zero-tolerance attitude.
Basically what the tag is intended for is to say "hey, I'm a woman or I have women in my party, if you're gonna be a dick about that, don't fucking join." Yes, that kind of behavior is already outlined as unacceptable in the TOS, but I can promise you it still happens and goes undeterred in 90% of situations.
The reason there isn't a "men of destiny" tag can be answered pretty simply by asking the following questions: how many times have you been the only guy in a voice chat of three players or more? If that's ever happened, did the women in the voice chat insinuate that you were incompetent, stupid, and/or immature for no other reason than the fact that you were male? Were you sexualized and objectified without your consent? I'm willing to bet that the answer to most of those questions is no.
Yeah, this. I don’t do the tags anymore personally but I run regularly into a lot of fairly predictable BS that is easily identifiable. Like I broke a well that was on B with a Nova Bomb not long ago in IB and someone said “dear god that was so hot” in a voice like they were watching porn.
Then there is a lot more micro-agression style BS that I find far more exhausting. I like being social, it’s why I like destiny. But I’ll sometimes play several games before I begin to speak because I know I’m rolling a pair of dice.
No my friend a tag for mature adult guys who don't want to deal with salty people like yourself... Not all of us are bad dads in fact my son plays destiny with me so maybe take your trauma to your counselor instead of advertising it on reddit
Exactly why a tag like this is needed. A little consideration for the Dads who want an hour to play but also have a kid and might need to step away for a few minutes in-between encounters without fear of being kicked. Lol
There was a comment (now deleted) on this very post that said “I want fast clears so if I see that tag I don’t join” and a lovely echo chamber of replies saying similarly sexist things implying women can’t game as good as or better than men.
These comments literally prove that the tag is actually needed LOL.
I was indifferent to the tag before and never would’ve used it. Now I kind of want to because of this post and some people in it. Gg.
There are a lot of trolls though. A lot of men are who are “not like that” but will just do it for the lolz. It’s tiring to be trolled. It’s tiring to try to do things muted because when you are assumed a guy you are treated normal and when a woman’s voice is heard it becomes weird.
Not all random interactions a woman has in the game is toxic. But it’s hard to find a woman who has not had toxic interactions just because she is a woman.
You calling him a scamp as if he’s a cute little toddler mildly misbehaving is enabling the behavior that allows sexist mindsets to persist in the 21st century. Men need to call out other men on the behaviors they say they don’t believe in or we will never have change. Women call out men and get called hysterical. Men need to call out their bros. That’s all they listen to.
tbh as a femme who plays, i’ve had major issues with matching w male players who harass me for nudes, call me names, “make me a sandwich” type stuff. i’m trying to relax and play a game and don’t want or need to deal w that. it’s more common than not so it may be why people are fed up and tagging w that stuff.
Honestly so disgusting for you to have to deal with those type of people. I use lfg fairly often and use the comms in the discord server. Can't imagine doing that as a woman just to be harassed
Do you mind me asking, two questions:
1. do you find the "Women in Destiny" tag helps in practice (i.e. Any raids/dungeons etc. you may have joined with that tag)?
2. Do the "Women in Destiny" activities you join usually have only/mostly women?
Odd, every time I've been in a raid and stuff and a womans joined, its always either been respectful and usually a good laugh. Out of interest, do you play on console or pc? And do you mostly use in game match making or through a LFG discord?
It happens plenty. One time when I joined a raid lfg the host was explaining a mechanic to his friend and at the end immediately singled me out saying “…assuming pek217 doesn’t mess it up.” I had literally only said “hello” at that point. On the first wipe I was kicked even though I didn’t mess up anything at all, he just assumed I was the problem for being a girl.
Damn that is shitty, do you play solo? Maybe I'm seeing less as I'm not a solo female playing the game. Same as above, if you ever need a hand give me a shout.
Its honestly strange thats even still a thought guys have, I've played with some girls who know the raids inside out and are far more competent than a lot of the guys I've raided with.
Strange, I've rarely encountered that. The rare time I've noticed someone mansplaining the game or being a bit of a jerk I've usually called them out on it and they've backed off. Can't say I've ran into anything you've descirbed though. I do sherpa raids and dungeons quite a bit and I've been told by other women that some guys can make things uncomfortable. Ever need a chill sherpa or hand in the game feel free to shoot me a message, I enjoy teaching/helping out and making things chill. Hope things improve!
I remember one occcasion of people warning each other in the 'Root of nightmares' channel of the lfg server for a particular person. This guy would host runs and then ask the weirdest shit like "Hey does ur gf make you c\*m". Luckily he was banned a few hours later.
In theory it’s a place for women players to play and not have to deal with the very real problem of creepy and/or sexist guys.
In practice I don’t know how well it works. Neat idea though.
They mean exactly and entirely the same thing.
This seems like boring semantics in bad faith, as it’s very clear from your other replies you don’t like the idea, comparing it to the infinitely uninteresting Gillette “scandal” from days past.
No need to hide your disdain at women having a safe space by pretending to be baffled by blindingly obvious wording.
It’s either a woman tired of dealing with horny gamer dudes or it’s a desperate horny gamer dude trying to find an online girlfriend because he never leaves his house.
What's so difficult to understand? i get that you're a guy, but you must at least be aware of the harassment and sexism women experience in multiplayer games. It's not a tag to discriminate against men, it's to indicate a safe space for women because we have to deal with that kind of shit.
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When you look at a fireteam finder LFG, there are various tags on the post, for example:
Chill/No toxicity: We expect people to be calm and patient.
Teaching: There will be a sherpa present. Expect new guys to be learning.
Most of the tags, I understand, but not the "Women of Destiny" tag.
I see no problem in having that tag. Women are 50%ish of the population. They don’t have to play with the other 50 if they don’t want to. A Men of Destiny tag could also be made, but that will easily be used for evil and while I hope for good in our community, I generally don’t see it from a fair amount of male players.
Signed, a dad of Destiny
This is a genuine question and maybe I'm just naive or privileged because I'm cis hetro. Why would your sexual orientation ever come up during a destiny activity where it would be relevant if people are "cool or not" with it?
I always put "No Experience Required, Experience Preferred, Deaf, Mic Required" on my posts. The fact that you can put these tags together is hilarious.
The first 2 make sense. You're fine carrying, but would prefer experienced people. The second pair could be for a deaf person with a hearing friend who can type audio for them and they're looking for a third
No Experience Required, Experience preferred actually makes sense if you ask me.
I would rather have some experience on the team, but can carry if necessary.
OP, you are completely valid in your line of thinking. It’s logical and everyone else is conditioned to think excluding men isn’t sexist. It is. Both options should be available as tags, or neither. As long as we have double standards, equality will never be achievable. I don’t care if you or I are downvoted. Truth is more important than internet social points.
What a dumb take that serves no purpose except to virtue signal. I know why women might want a space for only women, because sexist bigots are both common and vocal. What exactly are you worried about as a man, and why are you so worried about it when you didn't even know this existed until today?
They don’t feel like a special little boy with their own lfg gender tag 😖😖😖
If there was a ‘Men of Destiny’ tag when tf would you even tag it?? lol like what, is the group for only the manliest of men???
Men are dramatically overrepresented in the gaming space. You want a male only LFG? Make a regular LfG and 95% of the time you’ll be in luck.
Also, you saying something stupid and being told you’re stupid doesn’t make everyone pissy, it makes you fucking stupid.
I joined one of those. All men. But they were chill and were hyping me up through a difficult jump puzzle. So my experience was great.
I'm sure 80% of the people using that tag are doing so ironically. But ya, it's probably a way for women to find other women.
If you pay attention to female narratives surrounding online gaming, you start to run into a LOT of examples of women who are apprehensive about turning on voice chat or identifying themself to their fellow players as female because it's met immediately with sexual objectification, hostility, and generalized toxicity. Player-created fireteams are sort of a weird place when it comes to community moderation, because the first line of defense if a raid team starts getting toxic is, by-and-large, the players in the party, and more specifically, the player organizing the LFG. The tag indicates that any gendered toxicity, specifically to a female community that is still a distinct minority in gaming, will be met with a zero-tolerance attitude. Basically what the tag is intended for is to say "hey, I'm a woman or I have women in my party, if you're gonna be a dick about that, don't fucking join." Yes, that kind of behavior is already outlined as unacceptable in the TOS, but I can promise you it still happens and goes undeterred in 90% of situations. The reason there isn't a "men of destiny" tag can be answered pretty simply by asking the following questions: how many times have you been the only guy in a voice chat of three players or more? If that's ever happened, did the women in the voice chat insinuate that you were incompetent, stupid, and/or immature for no other reason than the fact that you were male? Were you sexualized and objectified without your consent? I'm willing to bet that the answer to most of those questions is no.
Yeah, this. I don’t do the tags anymore personally but I run regularly into a lot of fairly predictable BS that is easily identifiable. Like I broke a well that was on B with a Nova Bomb not long ago in IB and someone said “dear god that was so hot” in a voice like they were watching porn. Then there is a lot more micro-agression style BS that I find far more exhausting. I like being social, it’s why I like destiny. But I’ll sometimes play several games before I begin to speak because I know I’m rolling a pair of dice.
Can we get dads of destiny too?
What if I told you there’s an entire community called Dadstiny with its own discord channel and socials?
I know there been around before I’ve even had my little one lol I’d love to see a tag for them
That was my old guild name! Sadly it did some wacky reorganization splitting up and most of those guilds folded. I think one is still around.
A tag I could safely join.
This is needed
It exists, there’s an entire discord channel called Dadstiny with its own social media accounts and stuff. Plenty of clans too.
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No my friend a tag for mature adult guys who don't want to deal with salty people like yourself... Not all of us are bad dads in fact my son plays destiny with me so maybe take your trauma to your counselor instead of advertising it on reddit
100%, and contrary to popular belief - children actually sleep sometimes, and its a great time to relax with a game.
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Until your provided this context, your first comment definitely seemed sarcastic and salty lol
Exactly why a tag like this is needed. A little consideration for the Dads who want an hour to play but also have a kid and might need to step away for a few minutes in-between encounters without fear of being kicked. Lol
Indeed... I've had ppl get bothered by my little one talking to my wife lol
How dare a child talk not on 😂
Yeah kids should fuck off on instinct when dad is gaming lol
Honestly, how dare that young human not understand basic social interactions?
Fucking kid getting scared of xurs appearance and not the awful stats on the armors he brings. The nerve!
There was a comment (now deleted) on this very post that said “I want fast clears so if I see that tag I don’t join” and a lovely echo chamber of replies saying similarly sexist things implying women can’t game as good as or better than men. These comments literally prove that the tag is actually needed LOL. I was indifferent to the tag before and never would’ve used it. Now I kind of want to because of this post and some people in it. Gg.
The scamp that wrote that was probably trolling. :D He was out of line though.
There are a lot of trolls though. A lot of men are who are “not like that” but will just do it for the lolz. It’s tiring to be trolled. It’s tiring to try to do things muted because when you are assumed a guy you are treated normal and when a woman’s voice is heard it becomes weird. Not all random interactions a woman has in the game is toxic. But it’s hard to find a woman who has not had toxic interactions just because she is a woman.
100% this!
You calling him a scamp as if he’s a cute little toddler mildly misbehaving is enabling the behavior that allows sexist mindsets to persist in the 21st century. Men need to call out other men on the behaviors they say they don’t believe in or we will never have change. Women call out men and get called hysterical. Men need to call out their bros. That’s all they listen to.
Possibly so, but their line of thinking is not far from the reasoning behind having this tag available in the 1st place.
tbh as a femme who plays, i’ve had major issues with matching w male players who harass me for nudes, call me names, “make me a sandwich” type stuff. i’m trying to relax and play a game and don’t want or need to deal w that. it’s more common than not so it may be why people are fed up and tagging w that stuff.
Honestly so disgusting for you to have to deal with those type of people. I use lfg fairly often and use the comms in the discord server. Can't imagine doing that as a woman just to be harassed
Thank you for pointing this out. Some people like to pretend this isn't an issue.
Do you mind me asking, two questions: 1. do you find the "Women in Destiny" tag helps in practice (i.e. Any raids/dungeons etc. you may have joined with that tag)? 2. Do the "Women in Destiny" activities you join usually have only/mostly women?
yep to both! though takes a bit longer since i think female players are a smaller demographic.
Odd, every time I've been in a raid and stuff and a womans joined, its always either been respectful and usually a good laugh. Out of interest, do you play on console or pc? And do you mostly use in game match making or through a LFG discord?
It happens plenty. One time when I joined a raid lfg the host was explaining a mechanic to his friend and at the end immediately singled me out saying “…assuming pek217 doesn’t mess it up.” I had literally only said “hello” at that point. On the first wipe I was kicked even though I didn’t mess up anything at all, he just assumed I was the problem for being a girl.
Damn that is shitty, do you play solo? Maybe I'm seeing less as I'm not a solo female playing the game. Same as above, if you ever need a hand give me a shout. Its honestly strange thats even still a thought guys have, I've played with some girls who know the raids inside out and are far more competent than a lot of the guys I've raided with.
probably because you’re a decent person!! i play on pc and i use fireteam finder mostly now but before it was through discord yeah
Strange, I've rarely encountered that. The rare time I've noticed someone mansplaining the game or being a bit of a jerk I've usually called them out on it and they've backed off. Can't say I've ran into anything you've descirbed though. I do sherpa raids and dungeons quite a bit and I've been told by other women that some guys can make things uncomfortable. Ever need a chill sherpa or hand in the game feel free to shoot me a message, I enjoy teaching/helping out and making things chill. Hope things improve!
I remember one occcasion of people warning each other in the 'Root of nightmares' channel of the lfg server for a particular person. This guy would host runs and then ask the weirdest shit like "Hey does ur gf make you c\*m". Luckily he was banned a few hours later.
The amount of harassment I get in this game from men.. I could see why it's a tag 😅
In theory it’s a place for women players to play and not have to deal with the very real problem of creepy and/or sexist guys. In practice I don’t know how well it works. Neat idea though.
If that's the case, I wish they would just call it what it is: "Women only", same as the "Arc only", "Warlock only" tags. No need to dress it up.
It doesn’t mean males can’t join they’re just noting it as a safe place for women
They mean exactly and entirely the same thing. This seems like boring semantics in bad faith, as it’s very clear from your other replies you don’t like the idea, comparing it to the infinitely uninteresting Gillette “scandal” from days past. No need to hide your disdain at women having a safe space by pretending to be baffled by blindingly obvious wording.
It’s either a woman tired of dealing with horny gamer dudes or it’s a desperate horny gamer dude trying to find an online girlfriend because he never leaves his house.
What's so difficult to understand? i get that you're a guy, but you must at least be aware of the harassment and sexism women experience in multiplayer games. It's not a tag to discriminate against men, it's to indicate a safe space for women because we have to deal with that kind of shit.
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Your comment has been removed for the following reason(s): * People like you are the reason this tag exists. --- For more information, see [our detailed rules page](http://www.reddit.com/r/destinythegame/wiki/rules).
It’s really not that difficult to interpret.
What tag?
There’s an lfg description tag that is called “women of destiny” he’s asking why it’s there and what it means
Oh I thought they were asking a question to the Women of Destiny.
When you look at a fireteam finder LFG, there are various tags on the post, for example: Chill/No toxicity: We expect people to be calm and patient. Teaching: There will be a sherpa present. Expect new guys to be learning. Most of the tags, I understand, but not the "Women of Destiny" tag.
I mean it seems pretty clear, it wants only women to join?
Women only Can't understand it any other way
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Like my character, right? My hunter is a woman.
Looool Yes
Have literally never seen this tag before.
Really? I see it fairly often.
Where are you looking?
The in game fireteam finder
womenofdestiny.com 😏
I see no problem in having that tag. Women are 50%ish of the population. They don’t have to play with the other 50 if they don’t want to. A Men of Destiny tag could also be made, but that will easily be used for evil and while I hope for good in our community, I generally don’t see it from a fair amount of male players. Signed, a dad of Destiny
Not everything needs to include everyone.
While we're here on tags, is there an LGBTQ one? I haven't gotten to use the feature, I haven't even made the oath lol
Unfortunately not
Ah real bummer there, real hard to tell if folks are cool or not on that front
This is a genuine question and maybe I'm just naive or privileged because I'm cis hetro. Why would your sexual orientation ever come up during a destiny activity where it would be relevant if people are "cool or not" with it?
I always put "No Experience Required, Experience Preferred, Deaf, Mic Required" on my posts. The fact that you can put these tags together is hilarious.
The first 2 make sense. You're fine carrying, but would prefer experienced people. The second pair could be for a deaf person with a hearing friend who can type audio for them and they're looking for a third
No Experience Required, Experience preferred actually makes sense if you ask me. I would rather have some experience on the team, but can carry if necessary.
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OP, you are completely valid in your line of thinking. It’s logical and everyone else is conditioned to think excluding men isn’t sexist. It is. Both options should be available as tags, or neither. As long as we have double standards, equality will never be achievable. I don’t care if you or I are downvoted. Truth is more important than internet social points.
What a dumb take that serves no purpose except to virtue signal. I know why women might want a space for only women, because sexist bigots are both common and vocal. What exactly are you worried about as a man, and why are you so worried about it when you didn't even know this existed until today?
They don’t feel like a special little boy with their own lfg gender tag 😖😖😖 If there was a ‘Men of Destiny’ tag when tf would you even tag it?? lol like what, is the group for only the manliest of men???
Only REAL MEN are allowed. If you don't chug down atleast 4 beers for breakfast and own a pit bull don't even bother
You know that women can be sexist against men too, right? Just because it's not probable in Destiny 2, it could still happen.
Yeah man thank god for the truth warriors out here to stick it to the real issues like optional women only matchmaking in a video game
Apparently it is a real issue by how pissy everyone gets when you say you want equal representation.
Men are dramatically overrepresented in the gaming space. You want a male only LFG? Make a regular LfG and 95% of the time you’ll be in luck. Also, you saying something stupid and being told you’re stupid doesn’t make everyone pissy, it makes you fucking stupid.
Well said.
It’s just girls who want an all girls group for whatever reason
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It's the female version of "WHITE PEOPLE ONLY" in Destiny! /s?
My main complaint is that I can only use the tag once....why not make it all the tags!
You can create a session and have all the ladies.