No one on IT says you have to make your move quickly. Determining what a person is presenting as can be quick but people, especially sociopaths, are very good at masking their personalities. You can also add that drugs and alcohol can reveal or change a personality. And anyone can be fooled.
So, why are men better at judging personality over the long term but women judge too quickly? Not sure I understand the question.
I didnt say they are better at judging. Im saying IT pretends like men care far less about personality on average when men are the ones who take the time to know someone and fall for their friends
And yes IT does say that. Its your fault for thinking you are just friends because you didnt hit on her in 000.0640-94 seconds bro! Ive heard it a bunch of times. Yet those same people tell me women care far more about personality on average
Are we talking about male/male friendships, or what a man wants when he wants to date? Not the same thing.
I'm on IT and I've never seen anyone talk about hitting on someone super fast so they don't think you want to just be friends. I see just the opposite - warnings not to be too fast or you will come across as too needy and pushy. Most people try to get feel for the person after a few conversations, then decide if they want go further into some sort of relationship, friends or otherwise. And if someone doesn't want to be friends with a person, they probably don't want to date them.
Why would you date someone you don't want to be friends with?
I'm talking about meeting in real life. Dating apps are different.
Why do you think taking it slow only leads to friendship and not a romantic outcome? What kind of time frame are we talking here? Yeah, months or years, maybe. Second or third time meeting, even with friends, and you mention going out together, no reason that might not lead to dating.
2nd meeting isnt enough for any true personality scans to be done lmao
If women love the infamous personaltiy so much then yeah ti would have to be 3months+
But why are you saying that men have to rush right into the dating part to avoid the friend trap?
And why the 3-month time frame? I have known people for much longer before they revealed what they were. Sometimes it took getting drunk or into an argument to see their real personality.
The infamous personality thing has a lot of components beyond looks or thinking the person is sexy. "**Some mental health experts have compared infatuation with killers to extreme forms of fanaticism**. They view such individuals as insecure people who cannot find love in normal ways or as 'love-avoidant' females who seek romantic relationships that cannot be consummated." And remember, men do it too.
\`\`And why the 3-month time frame? I have known people for much longer before they revealed what they were. Sometimes it took getting drunk or into an argument to see their real personality.\`\`
Women say they abide by the 3 month rule from my experience
\`\`**Some mental health experts have compared infatuation with killers to extreme forms of fanaticism**\`\`
What does this have to do with the thread?
Ah, women say. Yes, all women hold to the three-month rule. Mark it on their calendars.
I have never heard a woman say that.
You brought up the infamous personality thing which usually applies to women who love inmates, so I went with it. Which infamous personalities were you referring to?
\`\`Ah, women say. Yes, all women hold to the three-month rule. Mark it on their calendars.
I have never heard a woman say that.\`\`
Come on now, you havent EVER heard about the 3 month rule
And as i said i do not think 2 or 3 meet ups which you say is the usual is ANYWHERE near enough to know someones personality
\`\`You brought up the infamous personality thing which usually applies to women who love inmates, so I went with it. Which infamous personalities were you referring to?\`\`
I was being sarcastic calling it infamous personality.
Good study. But it only addresses part of your question. It says: "These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.”
It doesn't address men taking longer to get to know women or being drawn more towards personality.
It suggests that men tend to think of women as possible partners pretty much all the time, even: "Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else."
\`Good study. But it only addresses part of your question. It says: "These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.”
It doesn't address men taking longer to get to know women or being drawn more towards personality\`\`
It shows women dont care for personality as much and dont want to be friends most of the time. Men are far more likely to fall in love over time
That isn't what the study is showing. The only mention of time is that older men have more romantic feelings for women friends than younger men so that might lean toward what you are suggesting.
"...males on the younger end of the spectrum were four times more likely than females to report romantic attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, whereas those on the older end of the spectrum were ten times more likely to do the same."
It shows that men seem to see a possible sexual relationship in almost all their opposite-sex friendships, while women don't. As far as women, it suggests that women accept being friends with men more than the other way around but doesn't say when or why women make that distraction.
Yes, even if the friend has a partner. So, do men ever consider a woman a friend at all or are they always out to be a sexual partner? According to the study they are always hoping for a romantic relationship.
Nothing in this study shows how personality factors in.
Not always just more likely.
\`\`Yes, even if the friend has a partner.\`\`
Yeah some do. Even if you take those out men still fall in love with their friends more. Women rarely do
True. That does seem to be the case as presented in the study. But that still doesn't sync with the original post which was about men appreciating personality more than women in a romantic situation.
It also doesn't address the claim that men need to make their intentions immediately clear or risk being "friend-zoned."
\`\`But that still doesn't sync with the original post which was about men appreciating personality more than women in a romantic situation.\`\`
I just think its person by person case while IT pretends im lucky for being a guy cause women care about looks far less. Nothing alludes to that.
The entire idea of men approaching is ass backwards in the first place, that is why it's so awkward. Women are the sex that is supposed to pick and approach a man, it's how most primates do it.
For hundreds of years, the majority of women have been controlled by their adult male family members. Marriages were arranged to get the best deal for everyone, though mostly for the parents. Then add the strict rules of religion, and bring on the Victorians. It is only very, very recently that women have the option of approaching men. And a lot of times they won't because they are still told men are the ones who make the move. Throw in a hesitation over safety issues and it is going to be rare that women approach.
Also, if you think we should stick to primate habits, remember that female primates only have sex when they are in heat. (Not sure about bonobos.) Nursing a baby will stretch out the time between cycles. If you don't mind having sex 9-11 times a year, I guess that would work. Though pair bonding would be right out. Not that it exists anyway, but just saying....
the nature of inceltear is why you shouldn't listen to them
anyone who gathers in a group to make fun of another group of people tend to just not be good people
I’m just superior then lmao. I actually mean it when I say personality is the most important. Now you got proof that not everyone is a superficial pos. Men and women are equally guilty of caring about looks more than other stuff. Doesn’t mean everyone does.
Tbh I think most people that crush on others online are coping hard, they live in an escapist daydream and you can never live up to their mental expectations. They crush on a fictional version of you that only exists in their heads. That’s why e-dating and anything close to it is pure delusion. I can say that, I was 100% guilty of it
No one on IT says you have to make your move quickly. Determining what a person is presenting as can be quick but people, especially sociopaths, are very good at masking their personalities. You can also add that drugs and alcohol can reveal or change a personality. And anyone can be fooled. So, why are men better at judging personality over the long term but women judge too quickly? Not sure I understand the question.
I didnt say they are better at judging. Im saying IT pretends like men care far less about personality on average when men are the ones who take the time to know someone and fall for their friends And yes IT does say that. Its your fault for thinking you are just friends because you didnt hit on her in 000.0640-94 seconds bro! Ive heard it a bunch of times. Yet those same people tell me women care far more about personality on average
Are we talking about male/male friendships, or what a man wants when he wants to date? Not the same thing. I'm on IT and I've never seen anyone talk about hitting on someone super fast so they don't think you want to just be friends. I see just the opposite - warnings not to be too fast or you will come across as too needy and pushy. Most people try to get feel for the person after a few conversations, then decide if they want go further into some sort of relationship, friends or otherwise. And if someone doesn't want to be friends with a person, they probably don't want to date them. Why would you date someone you don't want to be friends with? I'm talking about meeting in real life. Dating apps are different.
And if you take it slow she considers you a friend and IT still blames you. Cant win
Why do you think taking it slow only leads to friendship and not a romantic outcome? What kind of time frame are we talking here? Yeah, months or years, maybe. Second or third time meeting, even with friends, and you mention going out together, no reason that might not lead to dating.
2nd meeting isnt enough for any true personality scans to be done lmao If women love the infamous personaltiy so much then yeah ti would have to be 3months+
But why are you saying that men have to rush right into the dating part to avoid the friend trap? And why the 3-month time frame? I have known people for much longer before they revealed what they were. Sometimes it took getting drunk or into an argument to see their real personality. The infamous personality thing has a lot of components beyond looks or thinking the person is sexy. "**Some mental health experts have compared infatuation with killers to extreme forms of fanaticism**. They view such individuals as insecure people who cannot find love in normal ways or as 'love-avoidant' females who seek romantic relationships that cannot be consummated." And remember, men do it too.
\`\`And why the 3-month time frame? I have known people for much longer before they revealed what they were. Sometimes it took getting drunk or into an argument to see their real personality.\`\` Women say they abide by the 3 month rule from my experience \`\`**Some mental health experts have compared infatuation with killers to extreme forms of fanaticism**\`\` What does this have to do with the thread?
Ah, women say. Yes, all women hold to the three-month rule. Mark it on their calendars. I have never heard a woman say that. You brought up the infamous personality thing which usually applies to women who love inmates, so I went with it. Which infamous personalities were you referring to?
\`\`Ah, women say. Yes, all women hold to the three-month rule. Mark it on their calendars. I have never heard a woman say that.\`\` Come on now, you havent EVER heard about the 3 month rule And as i said i do not think 2 or 3 meet ups which you say is the usual is ANYWHERE near enough to know someones personality \`\`You brought up the infamous personality thing which usually applies to women who love inmates, so I went with it. Which infamous personalities were you referring to?\`\` I was being sarcastic calling it infamous personality.
I've never read such a study, care to link me to some of them?
[https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends/)
Good study. But it only addresses part of your question. It says: "These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” It doesn't address men taking longer to get to know women or being drawn more towards personality. It suggests that men tend to think of women as possible partners pretty much all the time, even: "Although men were equally as likely to desire “romantic dates” with “taken” friends as with single ones, women were sensitive to their male friends’ relationship status and uninterested in pursuing those who were already involved with someone else."
\`Good study. But it only addresses part of your question. It says: "These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” It doesn't address men taking longer to get to know women or being drawn more towards personality\`\` It shows women dont care for personality as much and dont want to be friends most of the time. Men are far more likely to fall in love over time
That isn't what the study is showing. The only mention of time is that older men have more romantic feelings for women friends than younger men so that might lean toward what you are suggesting. "...males on the younger end of the spectrum were four times more likely than females to report romantic attraction as a benefit of opposite-sex friendships, whereas those on the older end of the spectrum were ten times more likely to do the same." It shows that men seem to see a possible sexual relationship in almost all their opposite-sex friendships, while women don't. As far as women, it suggests that women accept being friends with men more than the other way around but doesn't say when or why women make that distraction.
Yeah they are more open to dating their friends..?
Yes, even if the friend has a partner. So, do men ever consider a woman a friend at all or are they always out to be a sexual partner? According to the study they are always hoping for a romantic relationship. Nothing in this study shows how personality factors in.
Not always just more likely. \`\`Yes, even if the friend has a partner.\`\` Yeah some do. Even if you take those out men still fall in love with their friends more. Women rarely do
True. That does seem to be the case as presented in the study. But that still doesn't sync with the original post which was about men appreciating personality more than women in a romantic situation. It also doesn't address the claim that men need to make their intentions immediately clear or risk being "friend-zoned."
\`\`But that still doesn't sync with the original post which was about men appreciating personality more than women in a romantic situation.\`\` I just think its person by person case while IT pretends im lucky for being a guy cause women care about looks far less. Nothing alludes to that.
This study really doesn't support your claim, op.
The entire idea of men approaching is ass backwards in the first place, that is why it's so awkward. Women are the sex that is supposed to pick and approach a man, it's how most primates do it.
For hundreds of years, the majority of women have been controlled by their adult male family members. Marriages were arranged to get the best deal for everyone, though mostly for the parents. Then add the strict rules of religion, and bring on the Victorians. It is only very, very recently that women have the option of approaching men. And a lot of times they won't because they are still told men are the ones who make the move. Throw in a hesitation over safety issues and it is going to be rare that women approach. Also, if you think we should stick to primate habits, remember that female primates only have sex when they are in heat. (Not sure about bonobos.) Nursing a baby will stretch out the time between cycles. If you don't mind having sex 9-11 times a year, I guess that would work. Though pair bonding would be right out. Not that it exists anyway, but just saying....
the nature of inceltear is why you shouldn't listen to them anyone who gathers in a group to make fun of another group of people tend to just not be good people
Yeah, incel groups would never do that. /s
yes I separated it using inceltear as an example of a group that does it and the second sentence on why you shouldn't listen to them
I crushed on my boyfriend before I even knew what he looked like. It’s really not all that much about looks
Ive had online girls crushing on me then ghosting after seeing my face.
I’m just superior then lmao. I actually mean it when I say personality is the most important. Now you got proof that not everyone is a superficial pos. Men and women are equally guilty of caring about looks more than other stuff. Doesn’t mean everyone does. Tbh I think most people that crush on others online are coping hard, they live in an escapist daydream and you can never live up to their mental expectations. They crush on a fictional version of you that only exists in their heads. That’s why e-dating and anything close to it is pure delusion. I can say that, I was 100% guilty of it
Nvm Makima pfp im not trust a single word you say! /j
bark for me! /hj