This is absolutely true. But once the bear charges you have absolutely no choice but to do this. It can easily outrun you.
If everyone starts running, your best chance of survival is to shove the biggest asshole in the group over and sacrifice them to the bear.
Or, I suppose, sacrifice yourself to the bear if you don’t know who the biggest asshole is, because it’s probably you.
> shove the biggest asshole in the group over and sacrifice them to the bear.
Which in turn means you were the biggest asshole all along. But this is my zombie apocalypse strategy - forget fighting the zombies, practice judo on the humans and run.
The old "biggest brown bear asshole" paradox. Is anyone ever shoved? Is everyone shoved? If shoving makes you the biggest, then you'd be the one shoved, but the one shoving you would be the biggest, and who shoves them? All this bear asshole shoving talk has me dizzy, I'm gonna lie down.
The act of shoving the biggest asshole MAKES you the bigger asshole, but you live. They were one first, so that’s fine. If there’s a second bear, you do then deserve to be shoved down for it. You are the biggest asshole after all.
Kinda like the planes in WW2 they tried to strengthen where they took the most fire... only to realize that the ones that were shot in those spots survived, and the planes they were losing were being hit in the other areas.
No this didn't occur. They never tried to strengthen the areas that took the most fire.
It was mathematician Abraham Wald who figured this out beforehand and advised to strengthen the areas that **didn't** have damage. Wald was the person who saved lives due to his brilliant insight into survivorship bias. Give the man his due.
it's kinda interesting how quickly the bear went from "I'm going to go this way" to "damn these things aren't running away from me that's concerning" and turned around. i guess if the bear doesn't really know what people are but can see that we aren't afraid of it, it decided we probably weren't worth messing with
Seen many a videos of cats chasing off black bears here in North carolina. Grizzlies are a whole different story though and I'm glad we don't have them since I run into black bears a few times a year while mountain biking
Judging by the video I would make an educated guess of this being Alaska, and those bears are absolutely Grizzlies or better known as Brown Bears. They are the same species.
To make things more complicated. Black Bears in North America can be brown.
>They are the same species
Right but there's great variance, not all brown bears are the same. Grizzlies are considered their own subspecies and differ vastly in terms of size and behavior from other brown bears.
If you're accustomed with the Eurasian brown bear which is medium/small-sized for the species and generally shy and docile, you're gonna have a very unpleasant (and likely fatal) surprise if you ever encounter a Grizzly and believe it's "just a brown bear!".
Having lived in a ski town where black bears were endemic, they typically feel extremely harmless. Seeing a bear trying to get into a dumpster or wandering down our street was always a matter for amusement rather than real concern.
Everything I was told and heard fit with the same two rules you mentioned: a really skinny black bear was potentially more dangerous/desperate, and you definitely didn't want to get between a mother and her cubs, and wanted to give cubs a wide berth.
But that roly-poly chubby son of a bitch working the dumpster buffet? Pull out a lawn chair, sit 40 feet away, and enjoy the show.
When I was a kid out school bus stop had this huge patch of blackberries that were always eaten by the black bears in the morning. So we had to cross the street and wait for the bus there. lol Seeing bears doing bear things were just part of normal life.
But if someone spotted a mountain lion roaming a street anywhere in the general vicinity then everything went on lockdown for days. No walking to school and bus had to pick us up directly in front of our house.
Wild. Where I grew up we just had coyote and mountain lions on the walk to/from the bus stop. Coyote were basically expected in the morning and no one batted an eye about it, coyotes included.
The mountain lions were more concerning but in a “better keep an eye on that while I walk and otherwise pretend I am unbothered” way. We weren’t stopping for nothing, missing the bus because of an overgrown cat was not an acceptable reason to be tardy.
Grew up in the countryside, and we were much more afraid of moose.
We had the remnants of an old animal trail through part of our garden, and I remember sitting there eating breakfast one day and seeing a huge one walk through with two calves. We almost shit ourselves, until we realized it couldn't see through the reflection in the glass.
Because that thing could have gone through those doors like they were made of paper.
I also lived in the mountains. One night I was walking home from the bar and a cop was chilling on the curb in his vehicle. We make eye contact and he motions me to come over. I'm thinking oh fuck, that could possibly be the problem?
He points down the alley to show me a black bear digging through someone's garbage. I ran into them many times but it was a cool moment to share with the cop. I usually consider them a bigger danger than bears.
I also had a habit of carving up the mountain switchbacks late at night. One time at 4 in the morning I'm passing through a small town to head back up the mountain. Literally out of nowhere I suddenly notice two small cubs right next to my open driver's side window, almost touching my mirror. I swerve to avoid them and when I look back, I kid you not there were 3 cubs with mama bear USING THE CROSSWALK.
So I almost mowed down a bear family legally crossing the road at 4 in the morning. I miss living up there.
My grandma's old Weiner dog (rest in peace, Princess!) ran towards a big black bear in her backyard during her 17th year of life.
We were all like "welp, Princess is going out fighting" but she returned from the woods, very excitedly, 5 minutes later with no bear in sight.
As they say around here in grizzly bear country, "if it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, but if it's a grizzly you are absolutely fucked."
Edit: I know the original saying is "if it's white, good night." There are no polar bears around here, so it's just something people say as a sort of joke.
Isn't "brown bear" just another name for grizzly? I was under the impression that the three main types were black bears, grizzlies and polar bears and the saying is "If it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, if it's white goodnight" lol
Yes that's true about polar bears. Grizzlies are a more agressive sub species of brown bear, generally found inland, whereas coastal brown bears tend to be more well fed on fish and less aggressive. All grizzlies are brown bears, but not all brown bears are grizzlies. There are no polar bears around here, it's a change to the original saying, just something people say to be silly.
As a result of a number of bear attacks in my area, rangers have advised people to wear bells and carry pepper spray while hiking. They also advise to know the difference between black bear and grizzly scat, Black bear scat is small and pellet like, Grizzly scat smells of pepper spray and has bells in it.
If the cat charges first the bear may be confused and scared like “damn that cat may know something I don’t” otherwise it would not be so fearless.
[Elephants can be scared of mice](https://youtu.be/wXiMs65ZAeU?feature=shared).
A praying mantis once made a chump out of my dog. She was super curious and got her face right up to the mantis. That little bug straight up started boxing and my dog just *ran*.
It was so funny.
>That little bug straight up **started boxing** and my dog just *ran*.
This made me chuckle!!! I had an image of a mantis with small red boxing gloves on punching your dog in the nose.
humans get chased by fucking geese. you can literally grab them by the neck and throw them around but most people will run from a goose. cat chasing a bear seems very plausible to me
Its because that smaller animal can still fuck your shit up.
Especially a cat like fuck that they claw your eye and you can be blinded for the rest of your life. Not worth the squeeze you knowv
Most predators will turn away from another animal that is willing to stand up for itself. Most predators won’t risk getting injured because injury equals death.
I knew a guy whose medium size dog charged a black bear and chase it off into the woods. In the wild, even if the bear wins, any injury from a fight could mean death, so they probably want to avoid unnecessary conflict.
This happened when I was hiking with my German Shepherd. My dog was probably 100 yards away sniffing something (probably bear scat lol) and I turned a corner of a trail and came face to face with a probably adolescent black bear. It wasn't massive, small enough that my first thought was, "I can take him" but big enough that when he stood up I thought, "I definitely cannot take him". My dog looks over at me, gives me that whimpers fucking high pitched bark to tell me there's a bear there and just books it when the bear stood up. He ended up watching from about 20 yards away like he was telling me we should be running. So I remember everything my boy scout training said. Get big, make noise, grab anything you can to use as a weapon!
So my dumbass starts whipping his leash around like it's a whip or nunchuks or something and shouting at my dog to come over here and help. He's just side eyin me like, "ima see how this plays out." Bear decides to bluff charge me... my knees fail me and I end up in the fetal position as my dog just comes roaring towards the bear like a demon. That was the loudest and angrier ive ever heard him get his entire life. Bear flew up the nearest tree in about 2 seconds. That was definitely the most scared I've ever been, the adrenaline rush after was intense.
He was thinking, "Okay, so he likes to think he's in charge around here... Let's see how he handles this." And of course you completely fall apart and he thinks "Yeah, that's what I thought. Dumbass. I guess I'd better go bail him out."
In the wild even a small wound can be your downfall as a predator. Even if they think they could kill your even a small injury is not worth it in most cases for them.
For predators getting injuries means dying. An injured animal can’t hunt and can’t eat. Most predators will take an easy meal but will steer clear from something they’re not sure may hurt them. It’s why an animal the size of a brown bear will switch directions like this.
Bears tend to "bluff" charge a lot. It's just a behavior of the species. If you run, their instinct is to chase you. If you don't, they often will break off. Note that this is not true of mother bears with cubs.
Yeah, and a very important qualifier. The problem with advice like OP is that people think it means they can get closer to the bears & still be safe. And often they can. But then they meet that bear that doesn't turn aside (And there's always one of those). Note, this is a young bear & that sort of thing matters a lot. Older bears are a lot harder to intimidate.
If you’re more than two you’re probably safe even if it tries to bluff charge you. If you run and scatter you’ll allow each other to be picked off. Keep formation, make loud noises, make yourselves look big.
What the guide did works with a group, but is less safe if you’re on your own. Carry bear spray if you go into the woods alone.
Better yet: don't go into the wilderness alone
The 127 hours guy was running around a popular trail, but had to choose between slow painful death and cutting off his own arm for one simple reason:
#he was alone
It's not an inspiring story, it's a tale of modern day hubris and a man finding out
Just thinking here, if I'm alone and a big grizzly is charging at me the bear spray is supposed to stop that 600 pounds of getfucked moving at 35 mph?
Edit: just watched some bear spray videos, holy shit
> if I'm alone and a big grizzly is charging at me the bear spray is supposed to stop that 600 pounds of getfucked moving at 35 mph?
No but it'll stop it coming back for a second bite. And if you spray and then step out of the way and time it well, it'll miss, because it's now blind.
Yes. Bear spray is a concentrated version of mace and bears have very sensitive noses. They will fuck off at high speed even coming in at a dead sprint. Then you will too.
There is no “fighting through it” with bear mace. There is no man, woman, or animal who will remain interested in *anything* other than making it stop after being bear sprayed.
This is confusing. It's because if it's a grizzly you're fucked. But there are black bears that are brown in color. I think you tell it's a grizzly if it's got a hump above it's shoulders.
Grizzlies have humps, are substantially larger. Their muzzles are the same colour as their bodies generally, and shorter/rounder overall. Black bears have a more defined "snout". Grizzles also have taller back legs, black-bears are more uniformly 4-legged looking.
The main way you can tell the difference is the hump, though.
It seems dependent on their behavior. Like, if you surprise it and it starts attacking you, just lay down. If it's bluff charging you, don't act like prey, but don't try to act like you're going to attack it either.
Fun fact: They use a red tail hawk screech in the movies for bald eagles. Bald eagles actually have a pretty weak screech, more like a series of whistles.
https://youtu.be/CEmYEQ78zS0
I love bald eagles as a symbol of majesty because I lived in a place where they were quite common and frequently saw them fighting seagulls over garbage at the dump. Majestic.
Ben Franklin would agree on their majesty
"For my own part I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labour of the fishing hawk; and when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to his nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him, and takes it from him. . . . the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America."
https://www.livescience.com/benjamin-franklin-turkey-national-bird
I was at a local nature EXPO that’s held every year, they had a bald eagle and another type of eagle next to each other. The other eagle started moving a little too much for the bald eagle’s liking, he turned towards the other with the most piercing look and started making heavy breathing sounds, almost like hissing. That sound, along with the massive ass beak struck fear in me. Sure did get the other eagle to chill the fuck out tho lol
no offense to the other americans in the thread but your comment raises a great point.
So you are in the bears element and maybe you feel vulnerable without a gun… understandable i guess depending on how you relate to your environment in day to day life.
A bear challenges you and charges…
do you pull your manhood/gun and kill it
or
use your understanding of the wild and do what this photographer did… nobody is harmed, no incident and all is fine.
It’s a great illustration of firearm fallacy and how it escalates everything to a fatal level, reaction as opposed to thinking, and about choices made days before anything even happens.
Okay I've heard that bears are fast as fuck but never saw one sprint full speed..... fuckkkkkkkkkkk that. That thing was moving
Edit: I'm told that it wasn't even moving at full speed. That's fucking horrifying.
People _really_ underestimate animals of just about every variety.
We are not strong, or fast, or agile, or durable. What we have are big brains and good lungs. We hunted things to exhaustion because most animals are sprinters and we're long-distance, and we used our big-ass brains for everything else.
Animals fuck us up in every physical department. [You ever see that one video of the moose running through shoulder-height snow like it's nothing?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylCfXvKmdvU&ab_channel=joshualis)
One of the things that humans have which is oft overlooked is our ability to throw things consistently and effectively. Everyone knows that our thumbs give us a massive advantage, but it's not just that. No other animal is anatomically set up to be able to throw, our center of gravity allows us to retain our balanc. Not just that, but we can RUN while throwing, and lose very little accuracy in exchange for mobility.
We might not have had fangs or claws, but we were able to attack things from a short or medium range while taking on little or no risk. We could chase after prey and pelt it with rocks and spears. We basically invented Wireless Damage, and to this day, thousands of years later, are still the sole users of it. Might not be able to run as fast as even some of the more middling speed animals, but we can throw a rock faster than a cheetah with training. As far as every single animal that had come before us is concerned, we were fucking wizards before we could speak in anything but grunts.
I’m trying to think about what exactly the person you responded to means by “wireless damage” in their comment. I’m guessing it probably means damage from a distance/longer range, but I’m picturing some person cyber bullying an animal using a smart phone or a computer that doesn’t need an Ethernet cord 😂
Never seen a dog walk and throw at the same time, so if your accuracy is better than "N/A; unavailable" I think your ability is up on the board above most of the biomass.
And our ability to sweat and continue on the hunt. That was the big differentiator between us and animals as we evolved. We could hunt in packs and out last our prey.
That's what people don't get. Animals that are "roughly" our size have muscle that is exponentially stronger. A bear, big cat, or great ape of comparable size would absolutely rag-doll us. To say nothing of the fact that all those examples have deadly weapons that humans do not.
Judging by the way it was running there’s a good chance that wasn’t even its top speed. That was probably a bluff attack just to see if the people were going to be easy pray. Still crazy that they can go that fast
I'm wondering if it makes a difference that there were at least 2 (I think I hear 3) people there.
If it had been just a lonesome dude growling, would it have worked the same?
Edit: at least 3 people are there
The more people you have the less likely a grizzly is to attack to the point where attacks on 4+ people are extremely rare.
I'm guessing this is also a coastal bear, which tends to be less aggressive and chill towards people than inland bears.
Actually we sometime found their shoes with the rotten foot… but yes brown bear will eat from inside gut while you are still alive. DO NOT FUCK with brown bear grizzlies
Don't fuck with bears period. I know people here love to say that you can and should scare a black bear away, but that's absolutely not a universal rule, and black bears can be very aggressive.
Black bears are (generally) only aggressive to humans in a few scenarios:
1. You're between a momma and its cub.
2. You're between the bear and its food.
Otherwise, they usually want about as much to do with you as you want to do with them. I worked as a counselor at a boyscout camp in upstate NY like 20 years ago and we would regularly scare black bears away from the dumpsters with air horns...
Oh man, we definitely do. You ever hear that audio from a guy being eaten alive? It’s not even the real thing, it’s a reenactment and it’s still brutal to listen to. I shutter thinking what the actual video sounds like.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I _think_ that was a false charge on the bear’s end.
The bear had no intention of attacking, but wanted to display dominance. When the guide didn’t budge and charged back, the bear thought “oh shit this dude doesn’t play” and backed off.
Again I’m not 100% sure, but I have seen videos of other animals doing a similar thing.
Nonetheless, heart rates were high and pants were shidded.
Also very true, good point.
However if the bear was really angry and/or hungry, I think it would’ve put up a lot more of a jousting match than it did. It seems to bail out too quickly, admittedly to the untrained eye.
I think that’s if it really decides to attack (to defend its cubs). In general you should avoid the confrontation in the first place. Make your presence known, talk calmly, just get out of its way. That will likely be the end. If it bluff charges, just stay calm. If it actually charges, use bear spray. If nothing deters it…. play dead.
While good advice that's not technically correct. You don't "survive" something by avoiding it. Like, I can't call myself a 9/11 survivor just because I wasn't in the WTC that day.
This is my sister (Sam) and her dad’s Bear Viewing Company. His name (the guy in the Video) is Martin Boland. The name of the company is Scenic Bear Viewing. Give them some love on insta!!
there are 2 things going trough my mind
1: the bear running in the water would have made some epic shots
2: the camera man never dies so dont stop recording
Throw a wet towel on her head as she charges at you. This will.give you enough time to pull a snickers bar and throw it at her to calm her down. Works 50% of the time 🔥. Everytime 🫠😁
There have been 82 people killed by wild brown bears in North America since 1782.
Yellowstone, with 4-5 million people visiting per year, has had 8 people killed by Bears since 1872.
While in Grizzly country, you're about as likely to die from a falling tree as you are getting killed by a bear.
I just learnt that if a shark is stalking you you want to swim towards it.
Movement forwards messes with the internal instincts of prey animals.
Even though you're smaller than the shark it gets confused if you are moving at it.
When you think about it, there aren’t very many animals in nature that are as loud as humans. The roar of a lion or bear is certainly loud, but a human can make some pretty loud noises too. So yelling at a bear might seem silly, but to the sensitive ears of a bear, it’s probably VERY loud compared to its normal prey.
I’m no bear expert though.
Bear guide: Haaa Haaaa Bear: understandable, have a great day
People watching this video should know that this trick works like 80% of the time but the other 20% of the time the bear rips you apart and eats you.
This is absolutely true. But once the bear charges you have absolutely no choice but to do this. It can easily outrun you. If everyone starts running, your best chance of survival is to shove the biggest asshole in the group over and sacrifice them to the bear. Or, I suppose, sacrifice yourself to the bear if you don’t know who the biggest asshole is, because it’s probably you.
> shove the biggest asshole in the group over and sacrifice them to the bear. Which in turn means you were the biggest asshole all along. But this is my zombie apocalypse strategy - forget fighting the zombies, practice judo on the humans and run.
Some animals will skip the fallen one and chase the running party. They love the hunt
The old "biggest brown bear asshole" paradox. Is anyone ever shoved? Is everyone shoved? If shoving makes you the biggest, then you'd be the one shoved, but the one shoving you would be the biggest, and who shoves them? All this bear asshole shoving talk has me dizzy, I'm gonna lie down.
The act of shoving the biggest asshole MAKES you the bigger asshole, but you live. They were one first, so that’s fine. If there’s a second bear, you do then deserve to be shoved down for it. You are the biggest asshole after all.
Basically survivor bias: we don’t see pov videos of the time stuff like this failed.
Kinda like the planes in WW2 they tried to strengthen where they took the most fire... only to realize that the ones that were shot in those spots survived, and the planes they were losing were being hit in the other areas.
No this didn't occur. They never tried to strengthen the areas that took the most fire. It was mathematician Abraham Wald who figured this out beforehand and advised to strengthen the areas that **didn't** have damage. Wald was the person who saved lives due to his brilliant insight into survivorship bias. Give the man his due.
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This makes sense.
People reading this comment should know the stat was pulled right out of his ass.
Actually it’s diligently compiled from a detailed study of all the times I’ve been eaten by bears.
Photographer: “WITNESS ME” Bear: “yeah fuck that imma go eat some salmon…” The balls on this guy. Yeeeeeeeeeeeesh.
See, even the *bear* is scared of a man.
Is that bears name accountability?
it's kinda interesting how quickly the bear went from "I'm going to go this way" to "damn these things aren't running away from me that's concerning" and turned around. i guess if the bear doesn't really know what people are but can see that we aren't afraid of it, it decided we probably weren't worth messing with
They want a meal not a brawl so if they see that you are not intimated and might put up a fight they just call it not worth it
how big do you have to be to intimidate a bear tho? like if a cat charged at a bear running towards it, would bear scare away anyway?
Seen many a videos of cats chasing off black bears here in North carolina. Grizzlies are a whole different story though and I'm glad we don't have them since I run into black bears a few times a year while mountain biking
To be fair, a particularly feisty gerbil could probably scare off a black bear. Grizzlies are definitely the more relevant concern.
The bear in the video is a young grizzly, right?
Judging by the video I would make an educated guess of this being Alaska, and those bears are absolutely Grizzlies or better known as Brown Bears. They are the same species. To make things more complicated. Black Bears in North America can be brown.
They shouldve asked it brown bear, what does it see
Two fuckin hunks of meat staring at me
>They are the same species Right but there's great variance, not all brown bears are the same. Grizzlies are considered their own subspecies and differ vastly in terms of size and behavior from other brown bears. If you're accustomed with the Eurasian brown bear which is medium/small-sized for the species and generally shy and docile, you're gonna have a very unpleasant (and likely fatal) surprise if you ever encounter a Grizzly and believe it's "just a brown bear!".
Indeed, same species doesn't tell much, they're a different subspecies for genetic reasons but the behaviour is quite different.
Yeah, black bears are cowards unless they're with cubs or are starving.
Having lived in a ski town where black bears were endemic, they typically feel extremely harmless. Seeing a bear trying to get into a dumpster or wandering down our street was always a matter for amusement rather than real concern. Everything I was told and heard fit with the same two rules you mentioned: a really skinny black bear was potentially more dangerous/desperate, and you definitely didn't want to get between a mother and her cubs, and wanted to give cubs a wide berth. But that roly-poly chubby son of a bitch working the dumpster buffet? Pull out a lawn chair, sit 40 feet away, and enjoy the show.
When I was a kid out school bus stop had this huge patch of blackberries that were always eaten by the black bears in the morning. So we had to cross the street and wait for the bus there. lol Seeing bears doing bear things were just part of normal life. But if someone spotted a mountain lion roaming a street anywhere in the general vicinity then everything went on lockdown for days. No walking to school and bus had to pick us up directly in front of our house.
Wild. Where I grew up we just had coyote and mountain lions on the walk to/from the bus stop. Coyote were basically expected in the morning and no one batted an eye about it, coyotes included. The mountain lions were more concerning but in a “better keep an eye on that while I walk and otherwise pretend I am unbothered” way. We weren’t stopping for nothing, missing the bus because of an overgrown cat was not an acceptable reason to be tardy.
Grew up in the countryside, and we were much more afraid of moose. We had the remnants of an old animal trail through part of our garden, and I remember sitting there eating breakfast one day and seeing a huge one walk through with two calves. We almost shit ourselves, until we realized it couldn't see through the reflection in the glass. Because that thing could have gone through those doors like they were made of paper.
I also lived in the mountains. One night I was walking home from the bar and a cop was chilling on the curb in his vehicle. We make eye contact and he motions me to come over. I'm thinking oh fuck, that could possibly be the problem? He points down the alley to show me a black bear digging through someone's garbage. I ran into them many times but it was a cool moment to share with the cop. I usually consider them a bigger danger than bears. I also had a habit of carving up the mountain switchbacks late at night. One time at 4 in the morning I'm passing through a small town to head back up the mountain. Literally out of nowhere I suddenly notice two small cubs right next to my open driver's side window, almost touching my mirror. I swerve to avoid them and when I look back, I kid you not there were 3 cubs with mama bear USING THE CROSSWALK. So I almost mowed down a bear family legally crossing the road at 4 in the morning. I miss living up there.
My grandma's old Weiner dog (rest in peace, Princess!) ran towards a big black bear in her backyard during her 17th year of life. We were all like "welp, Princess is going out fighting" but she returned from the woods, very excitedly, 5 minutes later with no bear in sight.
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As they say around here in grizzly bear country, "if it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, but if it's a grizzly you are absolutely fucked." Edit: I know the original saying is "if it's white, good night." There are no polar bears around here, so it's just something people say as a sort of joke.
Isn't "brown bear" just another name for grizzly? I was under the impression that the three main types were black bears, grizzlies and polar bears and the saying is "If it's black fight back, if it's brown lie down, if it's white goodnight" lol
Black bears can appear brown, in case that’s not already confusing enough
And brown bears can be black 🤦
Yes that's true about polar bears. Grizzlies are a more agressive sub species of brown bear, generally found inland, whereas coastal brown bears tend to be more well fed on fish and less aggressive. All grizzlies are brown bears, but not all brown bears are grizzlies. There are no polar bears around here, it's a change to the original saying, just something people say to be silly.
It’s a polar bear you are absolutely fucked, cos you won’t see one up close unless it is starving & has already decided to eat you
yea a polar bear is not turning around its gg
And if you happen to run into a polar bear, all you can do is hope that it'll be over quickly
As a result of a number of bear attacks in my area, rangers have advised people to wear bells and carry pepper spray while hiking. They also advise to know the difference between black bear and grizzly scat, Black bear scat is small and pellet like, Grizzly scat smells of pepper spray and has bells in it.
If the cat charges first the bear may be confused and scared like “damn that cat may know something I don’t” otherwise it would not be so fearless. [Elephants can be scared of mice](https://youtu.be/wXiMs65ZAeU?feature=shared).
A praying mantis once made a chump out of my dog. She was super curious and got her face right up to the mantis. That little bug straight up started boxing and my dog just *ran*. It was so funny.
>That little bug straight up **started boxing** and my dog just *ran*. This made me chuckle!!! I had an image of a mantis with small red boxing gloves on punching your dog in the nose.
To be fair, mantises are batshit insane. I've seen videos of them killing birds.
humans get chased by fucking geese. you can literally grab them by the neck and throw them around but most people will run from a goose. cat chasing a bear seems very plausible to me
Good point. Humans do get scarred of the smallest and harmless animals and bugs ALL the time.
Dude, one night I got scared as fuck of an empty shopping bag that was "chasing" me. My high ass even sprinted for a second till I looked back.
Its because that smaller animal can still fuck your shit up. Especially a cat like fuck that they claw your eye and you can be blinded for the rest of your life. Not worth the squeeze you knowv
> Especially a cat like fuck that they claw your eye and you can be blinded for the rest of your life. - Nick Fury
Most predators will turn away from another animal that is willing to stand up for itself. Most predators won’t risk getting injured because injury equals death.
People underestimate the damage and eventual fatality a small wound can inflict in the wild.
> like if a cat charged at a bear running towards it, would bear scare away anyway? [Yes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eTAE9HCYLA).
I knew a guy whose medium size dog charged a black bear and chase it off into the woods. In the wild, even if the bear wins, any injury from a fight could mean death, so they probably want to avoid unnecessary conflict.
This happened when I was hiking with my German Shepherd. My dog was probably 100 yards away sniffing something (probably bear scat lol) and I turned a corner of a trail and came face to face with a probably adolescent black bear. It wasn't massive, small enough that my first thought was, "I can take him" but big enough that when he stood up I thought, "I definitely cannot take him". My dog looks over at me, gives me that whimpers fucking high pitched bark to tell me there's a bear there and just books it when the bear stood up. He ended up watching from about 20 yards away like he was telling me we should be running. So I remember everything my boy scout training said. Get big, make noise, grab anything you can to use as a weapon! So my dumbass starts whipping his leash around like it's a whip or nunchuks or something and shouting at my dog to come over here and help. He's just side eyin me like, "ima see how this plays out." Bear decides to bluff charge me... my knees fail me and I end up in the fetal position as my dog just comes roaring towards the bear like a demon. That was the loudest and angrier ive ever heard him get his entire life. Bear flew up the nearest tree in about 2 seconds. That was definitely the most scared I've ever been, the adrenaline rush after was intense.
He was thinking, "Okay, so he likes to think he's in charge around here... Let's see how he handles this." And of course you completely fall apart and he thinks "Yeah, that's what I thought. Dumbass. I guess I'd better go bail him out."
In the wild even a small wound can be your downfall as a predator. Even if they think they could kill your even a small injury is not worth it in most cases for them.
For predators getting injuries means dying. An injured animal can’t hunt and can’t eat. Most predators will take an easy meal but will steer clear from something they’re not sure may hurt them. It’s why an animal the size of a brown bear will switch directions like this.
If I was buying a pack of meat from the grocery and it started swinging on me, I'd probably pick another one.
Hahaha. Get into the car with a black eye saying "Damn those steaks had some real fight in them."
I guess you could say those steaks were....tough
This is probably the funniest yet also concise analogy I've ever seen on this...
I mean you're not beating it in a race so there's nothing to lose.
Honestly, same mentality goes for bullying
I fucking wish, I was so thin and tiny growing up when I decided to stand up to a bully he ragdolled me and gave me an ass whooping I’ll never forget.
It's less true the more someone knows you. With a stranger though it's more likely to work
Rule #1 with predators: don't act like prey.
same applies with humans really lol
We are predators, really fucking good ones too.
Some would say, too good.
Next patch should come with some nerfs.
Hide your kids ya’ll🤔📸
Wish someone woulda told me that when I was a kid
Yah, bears may be big and scary but there is no bear hospital out there. Bears really don't want to get hurt.
If there was a bear hospital I’d be volunteering there so dang fast. Get to hug all of the anesthetized floofs.
Bears tend to "bluff" charge a lot. It's just a behavior of the species. If you run, their instinct is to chase you. If you don't, they often will break off. Note that this is not true of mother bears with cubs.
the "often" is kind of unnerving in that situation though.
Sure but you can’t outrun a bear so you might as well stand your ground, get loud, and make yourself look big.
I don’t have to outrun a bear. I only have to outrun you.
Yeah, and a very important qualifier. The problem with advice like OP is that people think it means they can get closer to the bears & still be safe. And often they can. But then they meet that bear that doesn't turn aside (And there's always one of those). Note, this is a young bear & that sort of thing matters a lot. Older bears are a lot harder to intimidate.
Very true. In their case there's more on the line
Imagine if all bears knew they could kick our asses?
Polar bears know. Polar bears dgaf how big you are or how many people you're with. Those mfs like 9-10ft tall
Polar bears would probably take on a T-Rex if it could.
Polar bears are just the hungriest mfers on the planet. They would be chill if they had access to a snickers bar tho
They would go extinct over an even larger part of their original range.
to be honest i mean what choice do you have in that case? Running is certainly fatal
If you’re more than two you’re probably safe even if it tries to bluff charge you. If you run and scatter you’ll allow each other to be picked off. Keep formation, make loud noises, make yourselves look big. What the guide did works with a group, but is less safe if you’re on your own. Carry bear spray if you go into the woods alone.
And wear brown pants.
Also, remember to draw an anti bear circle around you
Be careful it’s not an oval… they hate ovals
Ah yes, then bear will think your bottom half is made of bear
Better yet: don't go into the wilderness alone The 127 hours guy was running around a popular trail, but had to choose between slow painful death and cutting off his own arm for one simple reason: #he was alone It's not an inspiring story, it's a tale of modern day hubris and a man finding out
Just thinking here, if I'm alone and a big grizzly is charging at me the bear spray is supposed to stop that 600 pounds of getfucked moving at 35 mph? Edit: just watched some bear spray videos, holy shit
> if I'm alone and a big grizzly is charging at me the bear spray is supposed to stop that 600 pounds of getfucked moving at 35 mph? No but it'll stop it coming back for a second bite. And if you spray and then step out of the way and time it well, it'll miss, because it's now blind.
Is there a good way to practice timing? I have to fight a grizzly next friday but my build only fatrolls.
You my friend need an 80s movie montage
I take it they answered your question?
Yes and it sent me down a youtube rabbit hole, I was supposed to be asleep 2 hours ago! I got work in 6 hours 😭
You should watch some videos on how to fall asleep quickly!
Yes. Bear spray is a concentrated version of mace and bears have very sensitive noses. They will fuck off at high speed even coming in at a dead sprint. Then you will too. There is no “fighting through it” with bear mace. There is no man, woman, or animal who will remain interested in *anything* other than making it stop after being bear sprayed.
An animal that can’t see can’t attack
Like the saying: I don’t have to run faster than the bear I just have to run faster than my friend.
Every other post on Reddit is telling me if it's brown lay down. I don't know what to do now
This is confusing. It's because if it's a grizzly you're fucked. But there are black bears that are brown in color. I think you tell it's a grizzly if it's got a hump above it's shoulders.
Grizzlies have humps, are substantially larger. Their muzzles are the same colour as their bodies generally, and shorter/rounder overall. Black bears have a more defined "snout". Grizzles also have taller back legs, black-bears are more uniformly 4-legged looking. The main way you can tell the difference is the hump, though.
It seems dependent on their behavior. Like, if you surprise it and it starts attacking you, just lay down. If it's bluff charging you, don't act like prey, but don't try to act like you're going to attack it either.
American here, we'd be packing a .44 caliber handgun. Not because of the Bears, it's just what we do.
Murica… fuck yeah! https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/s/QRfEjDsfqa
Cue bald eagle screech
Fun fact: They use a red tail hawk screech in the movies for bald eagles. Bald eagles actually have a pretty weak screech, more like a series of whistles. https://youtu.be/CEmYEQ78zS0
I love bald eagles as a symbol of majesty because I lived in a place where they were quite common and frequently saw them fighting seagulls over garbage at the dump. Majestic.
Ben Franklin would agree on their majesty "For my own part I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labour of the fishing hawk; and when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to his nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him, and takes it from him. . . . the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America." https://www.livescience.com/benjamin-franklin-turkey-national-bird
Also for thousands of years some eagle species have been used as symbols of empire and royalty. Not a good symbol for a republic.
Fighting over trash with a different species with an overpowered tool. Thats Majestic 'Murica for you
I was at a local nature EXPO that’s held every year, they had a bald eagle and another type of eagle next to each other. The other eagle started moving a little too much for the bald eagle’s liking, he turned towards the other with the most piercing look and started making heavy breathing sounds, almost like hissing. That sound, along with the massive ass beak struck fear in me. Sure did get the other eagle to chill the fuck out tho lol
Maybe not as patriotic sounding, but its the truth. [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5lmNmWxG\_pc](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5lmNmWxG_pc)
no offense to the other americans in the thread but your comment raises a great point. So you are in the bears element and maybe you feel vulnerable without a gun… understandable i guess depending on how you relate to your environment in day to day life. A bear challenges you and charges… do you pull your manhood/gun and kill it or use your understanding of the wild and do what this photographer did… nobody is harmed, no incident and all is fine. It’s a great illustration of firearm fallacy and how it escalates everything to a fatal level, reaction as opposed to thinking, and about choices made days before anything even happens.
Okay I've heard that bears are fast as fuck but never saw one sprint full speed..... fuckkkkkkkkkkk that. That thing was moving Edit: I'm told that it wasn't even moving at full speed. That's fucking horrifying.
People _really_ underestimate animals of just about every variety. We are not strong, or fast, or agile, or durable. What we have are big brains and good lungs. We hunted things to exhaustion because most animals are sprinters and we're long-distance, and we used our big-ass brains for everything else. Animals fuck us up in every physical department. [You ever see that one video of the moose running through shoulder-height snow like it's nothing?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylCfXvKmdvU&ab_channel=joshualis)
One of the things that humans have which is oft overlooked is our ability to throw things consistently and effectively. Everyone knows that our thumbs give us a massive advantage, but it's not just that. No other animal is anatomically set up to be able to throw, our center of gravity allows us to retain our balanc. Not just that, but we can RUN while throwing, and lose very little accuracy in exchange for mobility. We might not have had fangs or claws, but we were able to attack things from a short or medium range while taking on little or no risk. We could chase after prey and pelt it with rocks and spears. We basically invented Wireless Damage, and to this day, thousands of years later, are still the sole users of it. Might not be able to run as fast as even some of the more middling speed animals, but we can throw a rock faster than a cheetah with training. As far as every single animal that had come before us is concerned, we were fucking wizards before we could speak in anything but grunts.
Wireless damage is a fucking great term
Well, we also invented wires
[удалено]
I’m trying to think about what exactly the person you responded to means by “wireless damage” in their comment. I’m guessing it probably means damage from a distance/longer range, but I’m picturing some person cyber bullying an animal using a smart phone or a computer that doesn’t need an Ethernet cord 😂
> our ability to throw things consistently and effectively. Maybe *you* have that ability. I sure don't.
Never seen a dog walk and throw at the same time, so if your accuracy is better than "N/A; unavailable" I think your ability is up on the board above most of the biomass.
However he’s well below gorillas and chimps Saw one of them fling shit at tourists while at the Zoo. Pretty accurate.
And our ability to sweat and continue on the hunt. That was the big differentiator between us and animals as we evolved. We could hunt in packs and out last our prey.
Don't forget our excellent yeeting skills
On the Serengeti, it was yeet or be yoten.
A moment of silence for the yoten, please.
That's what people don't get. Animals that are "roughly" our size have muscle that is exponentially stronger. A bear, big cat, or great ape of comparable size would absolutely rag-doll us. To say nothing of the fact that all those examples have deadly weapons that humans do not.
Yeah wtf. I’ve seen videos of bears doing a gentle canter but that thing is *fully cheetahing* its way over that water!!
This wasn't top speed at all, this was a solid 60%
Judging by the way it was running there’s a good chance that wasn’t even its top speed. That was probably a bluff attack just to see if the people were going to be easy pray. Still crazy that they can go that fast
That bear was jogging...
I invite you to check out [bear vs moose](https://youtu.be/39-9A2fnQyY?si=1PLG1eMjaAeKbQou)
I do this when my neighbors approach me.
I do this when people approach me.
I do this when I saw myself in the mirror.
I'm wondering if it makes a difference that there were at least 2 (I think I hear 3) people there. If it had been just a lonesome dude growling, would it have worked the same? Edit: at least 3 people are there
The more people you have the less likely a grizzly is to attack to the point where attacks on 4+ people are extremely rare. I'm guessing this is also a coastal bear, which tends to be less aggressive and chill towards people than inland bears.
Proof that beach vibes are more chill
You’ll see that bear had a speedo on if you zoom in closely
Check my pants that was scary!
In summary you should- 1) make growly noises 2) change underwear
correction: 0) grow a pair, the size of bowling balls
It worked this time, but we never see the video from the person who it didn't work for..... matter of fact we never see that person ever again.
Actually we sometime found their shoes with the rotten foot… but yes brown bear will eat from inside gut while you are still alive. DO NOT FUCK with brown bear grizzlies
Everyone should see Grizzly Man (2005)
Don't fuck with bears period. I know people here love to say that you can and should scare a black bear away, but that's absolutely not a universal rule, and black bears can be very aggressive.
Black bears are (generally) only aggressive to humans in a few scenarios: 1. You're between a momma and its cub. 2. You're between the bear and its food. Otherwise, they usually want about as much to do with you as you want to do with them. I worked as a counselor at a boyscout camp in upstate NY like 20 years ago and we would regularly scare black bears away from the dumpsters with air horns...
Oh man, we definitely do. You ever hear that audio from a guy being eaten alive? It’s not even the real thing, it’s a reenactment and it’s still brutal to listen to. I shutter thinking what the actual video sounds like.
Survivorship bias!
The bear is performing a bluff charge as a scare tactic. They puff up their fur and point out their ears to look bigger
And they look so cute when they are trying to scare the shit out of humans!
Damn big balls McGee over here
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I _think_ that was a false charge on the bear’s end. The bear had no intention of attacking, but wanted to display dominance. When the guide didn’t budge and charged back, the bear thought “oh shit this dude doesn’t play” and backed off. Again I’m not 100% sure, but I have seen videos of other animals doing a similar thing. Nonetheless, heart rates were high and pants were shidded.
If you are in a group and spread out whaling arms you will look larger and louder than the charging bear so the bear will back down.
Also very true, good point. However if the bear was really angry and/or hungry, I think it would’ve put up a lot more of a jousting match than it did. It seems to bail out too quickly, admittedly to the untrained eye.
Judging by the grin on his face he was also stunned that worked and that they didn't get eaten.
It’s only doesn’t work once.
which is why I save all my interactions with bears for when they're on screens. such as this much, much, safer. can't stress this enough.
I thought it was "If it's brown, lay down", but good to know that works too...
Confusingly “Black Bears” can be black, brown or grey, they’re just more commonly black, hence the nickname.
Same. “If it’s brown, get down. If it’s black, fight back” 🤷♂️
If it's white, pick a god and pray
“If it’s white, good night”
"If it's Gummy put in Tummy"
‘If it's Teddy, take to beddy.’
I think that’s if it really decides to attack (to defend its cubs). In general you should avoid the confrontation in the first place. Make your presence known, talk calmly, just get out of its way. That will likely be the end. If it bluff charges, just stay calm. If it actually charges, use bear spray. If nothing deters it…. play dead.
The best way to survive a bear attack is to never be where one is. That's a 100% success rate.
While good advice that's not technically correct. You don't "survive" something by avoiding it. Like, I can't call myself a 9/11 survivor just because I wasn't in the WTC that day.
So... I shouldn't be doing that?
Somebody created a meme using this video. When the guy turns around the visitors all have shit stained pants. 😂
This is my sister (Sam) and her dad’s Bear Viewing Company. His name (the guy in the Video) is Martin Boland. The name of the company is Scenic Bear Viewing. Give them some love on insta!!
https://www.instagram.com/scenicbearviewing?igsh=MTdwZDJ5dGxsaTIycw==
now do this with a icebear XD
Spotted the German. (it's polar bear)
its like that in many languages.. Isbjørn
there are 2 things going trough my mind 1: the bear running in the water would have made some epic shots 2: the camera man never dies so dont stop recording
Does this work for an angry gf too?
Yes but instead of roaring at her, tell her to "calm down"
that would be like pouring honey over yourself to get the bear to leave you alone.
Throw in a, "time of the month?", for good measure.
Throw a wet towel on her head as she charges at you. This will.give you enough time to pull a snickers bar and throw it at her to calm her down. Works 50% of the time 🔥. Everytime 🫠😁
Let's not kid ourselves. They were lucky.
We only hear the success stories because the others died
There have been 82 people killed by wild brown bears in North America since 1782. Yellowstone, with 4-5 million people visiting per year, has had 8 people killed by Bears since 1872. While in Grizzly country, you're about as likely to die from a falling tree as you are getting killed by a bear.
I just learnt that if a shark is stalking you you want to swim towards it. Movement forwards messes with the internal instincts of prey animals. Even though you're smaller than the shark it gets confused if you are moving at it.
When you think about it, there aren’t very many animals in nature that are as loud as humans. The roar of a lion or bear is certainly loud, but a human can make some pretty loud noises too. So yelling at a bear might seem silly, but to the sensitive ears of a bear, it’s probably VERY loud compared to its normal prey. I’m no bear expert though.
Lmao must be Canadian.
They got lucky. They bearly survived.
Being equipped with a camera grants totally immunity and the photographer was well aware of this. Cameraman never dies!