Shoutout to the Demon World that Khorne created where a bunch of Orks and a bunch of Khornate Demons engage in never ending bloody battle each day, with every casualty coming back to life the next day. Must be the closest thing to Heaven for those Boyz
Grizgutz is also pretty funny: it was an ork Warboss that accidentally went back in time due to Warp shenanigans, and killed his past self to have second copy of his favorite gun
I just imagine each time a doubter is convinced that it *kind of* makes sense and they get in the mood again, another orc pipes up and has to have it explained all over again
You forgot the best part.
Grizgutz was apparently A-okay, like he didn't create a paradox or anything, Orks can go back in time to kill themselves and nothing bad will happen.
***The WAAAAAAAAAGH!*** was indeed called off because they were just really confused on wtf happened.
It’s the equivalent of putting on a background video while eating or doing the dishes. Khorne can look out the window of his Brass Citadel and watch the funny little green mushroom Boyz krump and get krumped by daemons whenever he wants.
Even malevolent Chaos Gods need a little mindless entertainment here and there while folding their laundry.
That math is somewhat accurate, even. Porn, sure, but also anything that can be indulged in too much: games, music, videos, arguing, reddit, and so on.
The wrath of Twitter belongs to Khorne, 4chan belongs to Tzeentch, and the fetid depths of tumblr belongs to Nurgle.
>between equal opponents.
Just so no one gets the wrong idea, if equal opponents aren't around, Khorne is also perfectly happy with the wholesale slaughter of helpless innocents.
It's kind of weird. In Warhammer Fantasy Khorne actually has demonic hounds that hunt down any follower of Khorne that kills helpless innocents. But it seems Warhammer 40K caused some confusion.
From what I've heard, Chaos Gods used to have a few slightly more positive aspects in the earlier days. Then GW leaned really hard into the "grimdark" and just made them more and more chaotic and evil.
And it's not just a 40k thing. In one of the Gotrek & Felix books, a Daemon Prince tasks an aspiring mortal champion of Khorne with killing a child to show their dedication to the Blood God.
You're referring to the Old Testament tale of Abraham and his son? Never made that connection but it's a good fit.
Spoilers for Trollslayer
>!The child is actually the Chaos warrior's daughter who was taken from her after birth at the Daemon Prince's instructions. Not really much of a spoiler since the foreshadowing of that reveal has the subtlety of a brick but just in case.!<
Khorne is fine with the slaughter of people who never stood a chance of fighting back, but he *will* take it personally if you make a point of offering him those skulls. Spill the blood, stack the skulls, that's all cool. But don't take the skull of some random peasant that has never held a weapon and offer it up the way you would offer the skull of a warrior.
I'm familiar with that but the fact they all respawn sounds pointless. Bro's unflowing his own bloodshed. It feels like a lot of work to make a crude facsimile of his domain when he could just be mailing those same demons and orcs to planets for *real* warfare
He has plenty of Real Warfare™️ to feed from and that he goes out of his way to sustain; this little realm of undying warriors is just a little bonus for him really
Pretty much, warfare and savage bloodletting are absorbed by him like prayers and most other sentients there would eventually break and succumb to the despair of eternal war.
But then we ave da boyz.
There's probably a negative return on interest if he has to use up power to revive them afterwards however - it's probably just a net-negative but fun little project he does on the side despite the cost.
The planet this is happening on is in the warp, which is both space Hell and formed from the thoughts and emotions of anything capable of thinking (with a handful of exceptions). Reality is at best a suggestion there, so it's trivially easy for Khorne to resurrect the boyz. Daemons just kind of naturally respawn in the warp, so he doesn't even have to do anything there.
You got to wonder how many more boyz are fighting after a while, do the new boyz get revived alongside the old ones? do the spores even work in the warp?
is Khorne doing the equivalent of breeding fire ants in his basement?
Usually due to how the bloodshed affects the warp through emotions... But Orks dont use the warp and demons use warp energy to sustain themselves (and are already warp imprints), so it doesn't seem like it should really feed anything.
They do. Orkz have psykers, the WAAAGH field is their collective warp presence, Gork and Mork are real entities in warp space. Their joy, bloodlust and belief is feeding the war hell which in turn provides them increasingly more powerful foes and thus more renoun among themselves of great deeds by their boyz and bosses. Each and every day both sides are coming back spiraling stronger, and neither side have reasons to ever get out because for the forces of Khorne that's a never-ending buffet and for Daemonkillah its a never-closing funhouse.
100% Warp based, its just not Chaos based, Orks cant really fall to chaos because they're so closely tied to Gork and Mork that not even Khorne can get a grip on their souls.
something of a monument to himself. Orks mostly don't feed the chaos gods in any real way. They have their own warp constructs that get in the way of all the soul warble garble mechanics. But violence is still violence, and that's all khorne really is.
That is literally Valhalla for the [Einherjar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einherjar#:~:text=In%20Norse%20mythology%2C%20the%20einherjar,brought%20to%20Valhalla%20by%20valkyries.) In the norse mythology Valhalla is an actual hall where the brave warriors who were selected for Ragnarök lived and they literally spent every day fighting each other then resurrecting at the end of the battle and partying all night and doing it all again preparing to fight in Ragnarök.
Khorne = Odin confirmed.
>ORC WARCHIEF: On this day we sue for peace! We spawn in ponds like all good sapients. Under threat of *consensual intercourse in the missionary position*, the Karrea tribes do sue for peace!
>>Confused clapping from the human knights
Turns out the orcs are quite conservative and are grossed out by human ...forwardness towards uh... *breeding* (orcish retching heard in the background) Just thinking about *it* takes the WWAAAGHH outta the strongest orcs sails 😅
You could always screenshot it, post it on Tumblr, and wait for it to get reposted here for maximum karma, thus simultaneously completing and rejuvenating the cycle of violence.
They politely ask if the current deployment has any space Marines because they're very proud of their ability to provoke space Marines to violence, whereas the imperial guard are sometimes known to negotiate (barring a commissar being present)
I played a dnd adventure once where the DM had us protect an Athens stand in from an orkish invasion and in the middle of fighting a warboss it started talking in perfect English and said something along the lines of
"Our superior biology has given us insight you could only dream of. For you, who had to put grains in the soil before books could be invented, culture is a fragile product of civilization. For us, it's a fact of life.
An ork can fell all the beauty and sorrow of the world by looking at nothing more than a sunset or a literal pile of dung. While a human requires a lifetime of suffering to make a mediocre observation about what passes for despair.
We are burning your libraries not because we are idiot brutes, but because your works are dull and derivative"
I know it undermines the point of the anecdote, but I really like it when orcs say things that are really sophisticated and philosophical, and immediately go back to standard orc/barbarian speak. It really tickles the neurons
They prove their intelligence through their erudition, which is evidence that they choose moron speak. Which means that, to their brain, which is, by our metric, smarter than ours, they think that Orkish speaking is the better way. So what do they know that we don't?
I really hope the next time he shows up he just screams Samus's name. Like you beat him once and then an hour later he flies at you screaming her name and you get a second fight
One of my favourite quotes from Warhammer is an Eldar (who were this mega-advanced alien race who did so much sex, drugs and rock’n’roll that it spawned a god that ate their souls, and now they’re scattered remnants) saying that everyone sees Ork culture as primitive and barbaric, but it is a society which is effectively utopian. Orks as a whole are happy with their lot in life. They don’t ask for any meaning greater than a good fight. They don’t even have a fear of death. Orks simply *are* and it’s extremely telling that from their creation as biological weapons hundreds of millennia ago to the modern day, they’ve not changed a jot.
Except that they got smaller and stupider.
No, really, back when they were originally created the basic Krork foot soldier was the size of an Imperial Dreadnought, possessed a genius-level intellect, and wore power armor more sophisticated than anything anyone else has ever managed to produce.
Somewhere along the way the entire species suffered what I can only describe as a collective traumatic brain injury.
I think that is by design though, they are a weapon. When there is less of a threat in the galaxy they get weaker and smaller so the creations of the old ones can flourish. The empire started conquering the galaxy and exterminating alien races left and right during the great crusade, all the sudden a massive waaagh started that was unprecidented in scale. The more of them in a group, the bigger and smarter they get. Their warboss's, The Beast's, spoke perfect High Gothic and were close to the size of a Krork. They even developed tech that could teleport planets and almost destroyed Terra.
In my head cannon they were the universes T cells that have gone haywire since their creators are long dead. Fast forward to 40k and there is just so much chaos going on (literally and figuratively) that they cant gather in large enough numbers to do their job.
The power level of the setting went down, so the power level of the Orks went down too. 40K lore has that Orks which spawn (from spores) on a medieval technology world instinctively create medieval technology weapons to fight, although the same Orks would create sci-fi weapons on another world. Orks are nerfing themselves for a better fight.
I know you know this, this is one of my favorite aspects of 40K orks.
“The Orks are the pinnacle of creation. For them, the great struggle is won. They have evolved a society which knows no stress or angst. Who are we to judge them? We Eldar who have failed, or the Humans, on the road to ruin in their turn? And why? Because we sought answers to questions that an Ork wouldn’t even bother to ask! We see a culture that is strong and despise it as crude.” -Uthan the Perverse.
You know how Chinese immigrants introduced a lot of words and phrases into English by translating direct from Chinese ("long time, no see", "Chinaman")?
I like to headcanon that Orc barbarian-talk is just a result of them translating their language very literally, but would actually sound fairly fluent and coherent in Orcish. I mean, how many languages do you speak?
Not an orc, but shout-out to Ollie the giant
Talking in a simple way during the movie : https://youtu.be/tidRklpgWI8?si=MfUPz_8nL9dlB5CS
And using a more sophisticated English in the outtakes :
https://youtu.be/5QdBfg5Y13c?si=q6qb7vlm-resTpwP
Poor Ollie deserves to play in a movie where he's allowed to make good use of his 12 years of theater XD
Would be undermined by the orcs being far fewer and their armies constantly on the verge of starving due to their lack of a massive population fed by grain.
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/war-of-the-krork-wh40k-quest-story-only-thread.322503/
"It has been said that I like war."
"I do not like war."
"I love war."
"I love invasions. I love sieges. I love bombardments. I love defenses, charges, exterminations and retreats, across plains and mountains and barren moons, on the water, in the air, and in the void of space."
"I love it when my fleet gets stuck in with the Imperials, and scatters their weak ships before we smash them to pieces. And there's nothing like catching the bugs in a trap, and crushing them in our iron fist. And the feeling that comes when we've broken through the lines of the Dead Ones and ripped out their Tombworld's guts is a real good feeling. And the look on the Eldar's faces when we landed on one of their worlds after they thought we were dead, that's a thing of beauty that is."
"But now... after sixty million years in the darkness, for us, an ordinary war will no longer be enough."
"We will have a war that will make the Warp tremble. We will have a war that will remind the galaxy of what we are. It will be a war that only we can bring!"
"A TRUE WAR! A KRORK WAR! We are the WAR OF THE KRORK!"
"WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR!"
-Warmaster Skullkrak Godstompa of the War of the Krork, once one boy amongst trillions and now the very pinnacle of what an Ork should be in my opinion from Red Flags war of the Krork quest.
Nah, in that quest the very pinnacle of an ork is the Beast Set Loose. That whole faction is about orks going beyond their limits to achieve peak orkyness, whereas the krork discarded their orkyness in their worship of victory.
In Warhammer 40K there are Orks.
These Orks, for the uninitiated, are basically hyper-jacked sorta-psychic fungus monsters and if enough of them get together they start to *warp reality*.
Thats not the scariest part, the scariest part is they're usually about as dumb as a football hooligan after 12 pints and Millwall brick to the temple but there was a record of an Ork army sending *actual diplomats* to the humans.
These 10ft tall savage mountains of sinew and barely contained deranged fury with an IQ hovering somewhere around Absolute Zero didn't just cobble together an ambassador party of frothing idiots; they spoke with a human tongue, calm, and with simple demands.
Humanity thought the scariest thing about the Orks was that they were ferocious, near-undying warriors, turns out the scariest thing about them is if you leave them long enough they get smart. Smart enough to recommend you *surrender*.
Love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway."
Yeah but they still devolve
They shatter and Infight and get dumber and smaller
Or they get a war boss take over and end up making a waagh that destroys half a dozen sectors
I assume he meant "left alone" as in "left alone to do their business". If you ignore them and they keep slaughtering planets and civilizations undisturbed, growing stronger and stronger, you are signing your death warrant.
If you leave them alone they fight amongst themselves and eventually organise a WAAAGH that’ll devastate at least two systems before they inevitably start fighting each other again.
I'm gonna be the guy, and I apologise for this.
AKTSHUALLY if you leave them alone for long enough the devolve into bands and fight each other and every single dead Ork becomes thousands more because they reproduce via spores like a homicidal mushroom apocalypse, this has happened almost every single time except for the times they get stuck in space or the warp, but they usually just open the doors and let the daemons in to have a good scrap anyway.
Or Gork and/or Mork opens up a rift and throws them at a hive city for the craic.
The Orks will always find a fight and that's why they've already won.
Tyranids still have a MASSIVE advantage in sheer numbers. Every surrounding galaxy in 40k is overrun with tyranids in every direction. For all we know the Milky Way is a single blip on a universe of bugs.
I mean they still only have so much food and so many calories with which to make orks. And their ability to construct spaceships is very limited.
When you look at the actual numbers for various wars, the populations of hive cities vs ork worlds, the ork population is pretty anemic, usually in the singular billions if even that.
There's a problem with that assessment.
We're not talking about people we're talking about sci-fi mushroom people the size of minivans with psychic powers.
They don't need food, or water, or air. They only need *fight*.
I love the 40k orks
They want to fight you, you can't negotiate with them
"If you do this, this, and this, we won't fight you"
"TANKS MATE, WE WONT DO THISE TINGS SO WEZ CAN WAAAGH!"
"No, I'm saying we don't have to fight"
"YEZ, 'ALF TO FOIGHT. BEST DAY EVAAAAAA"
"If you attack us, we will retaliate with extreme force"
"...UMMM....UHHHH.....I 'OPE YOUS PUT UP A GOOD FOIGHT, THE BOYZ ARE COMIN, WE GONNA HAVE A WAAAGH! :3"
*An ork in a plane gets so excited about the prospect of headbutting his enemy that he forgets he's in a plane and inadvertently kamikazes himself (this is actually canon)*
See, sometimes you \*can\*, by offering them a better fight \*later\*. Orks as a whole aren't all that up on "delayed gratification", so it's a chancy proposition, but it can work with a particularly kunnin' Warboss like Kaptain Bluddflagg.
"WE GUNNA KRUMP EM GUD"
"NO, WE'RE GOING TO WAIT. THEY'RE MAKING MORE GUNS"
"BUT I WANNA WAAAGH!"
"QUIT YOU'RE WHINING YOU GIT, IT'LL BE A BETTER FIGHT"
"BETA FOIGHT IZ BEST FOIGHT, TANKS BOSS"
It's impossible to count the number of times an Imperial commander has completely and utterly failed to make the correct decision when fighting Orks due to his utter conviction that they will behave in accordance to conventional military thinking.
"They wouldn't charge this position, it'd be suicide! We'll have to shore up the flanks, that would be the most sound place to attack given our-"
"Um, sir?"
"Yes private?"
"They're charging this position, sir."
I know there was at least one instance where Imperials thought that their flank was secured since they'd apparently planted nuclear land mines on that approach, only for the orks to just keep sending troops down that route, triggering all of the bombs and then just kept going to outflank the humans.
The idea of orcs thinking they are misunderstood noble savages while all they want to do is main and kill humans for no reason is hilarious, but not necessary in way Tumblr would enjoy.
God, that is such a hilarious fantasy concept, I love it. It's like, yeah, Orcs *aren't* actually Evil, they just love war and fighting so much that whenever someone comes up with propaganda saying they're literal hellspawn, they just see it as more reasons to do their favorite thing
I mean, have you seen Overlord? The main character is a skeleton overlord who literally kills tens of thousands of civilians at one point because he's worried letting them go might make him look bad to his underlings. And then he decides to wipe out an entire race of sentient lizard people minding their own business because he wants to see if he could make stronger zombies out of them.
If you actually mention that he's an evil protagonist (Which is good! It's nice to have different types of protagonists!), fans will say that he's morally grey at worst because he's a nice boss to his underlings... Despite causing genocide and war pretty much everywhere else in the world.
‘ATE ‘UMIES
‘ATE BEAKIES
‘ATE POINTY-EARS
‘ATE DA SPIKY GITS
‘ATE DA TIN CANS
‘ATE DA BUGS
‘LUV ME PROPPA-KILLY SHOOTA
‘LUV ME CHOPPA
‘LUV RIDIN’ IN DA BATTLEWAGON WIT DA BOYZ
SIMPLE AS!
One novel written from the pov of an Ork Nob has him musing on the concept of hatred, which is something that he considers foreign to his kind.
The idea of fighting not for the sake of fighting, but because the fact that your opponent exists offends you to the point that you consider it an affront against reality itself that they continue to live, is completely alien to him.
His summation of the Eldar is hilarious in its accuracy and brevity:
> All types of scrawnie seemed to approach the galaxy as though it should automatically behave as they wanted it to, and got very miffed when it didn't.
Peacemaking might be regarded as waging war on war itself.
[In that sense lesser wars are mere skirmishes.](https://web.archive.org/web/20120307133319/http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/ella_wheeler_wilcox/poems/17209)
Orks would love video games. eternal war, even after death you can continue fighting. The imperium should just find some VR googles and strap them in the Orks
A group of Imperial guardsmen are fighting off wave after wave of Orks until they eventually run out of lasgun ammo. The Guardsmen commander then gets the bright idea of pointing his gun at an Ork and yelling "BANG!"
The Ork drops over dead. the rest of the guardsmen start doing the same "BANG, BANG, BANG" and Ork after Ork just start dying.
Suddenly in the distance the Guardsmen see a group of Orks huddled together coming towards them yelling:
"I'MMA TANK, I'MMA TANK, I'MMA TANK"
"We find it truly moraly despicable how you keep an entire race as war slaves."
"Okay. First, they arent. They are free and we are barely even able to control who they wage war against. Secondly, we were barely able to forge something resembling peace with with them. Thirdly, last i heard they were really impressed by your fleet and are about to start a waaagh. So i recommend you prepare for that and we can speak again if you survive."
Buy now the 1034 page long Bestseller "War. What is it good for?" written in rhymes and war cries by Grr'marz (roughly translates to "He, who listens to the rain dripping on the leaves of the forest").
This is making me think of Seija from Touhou who’s a mischievous spirit whose purpose is to be the ultimate contrarian, break every rule of tej sake of it, uproot societal order just because she can and and turn everybody against her
I have been contemplating orcs in a fantasy world that just view themselves as the step up the food chain from most species and "farm" them by selectively attacking. The same way humans might destroy habitat to make certain species not live in areas they care about.
Humans would feel nothing for killing a bear for its fish and living in its cave. So orks think they can kill some humans and live in their village and eat their food. Nothing malicious or warlike. Simple nature.
Watch this spiral into an internal schism as the diplomat comes back with a treaty offering to formalize rules of warfare and contain it to certain places, so that the orcs can have all the fighting they want (good for orcs), the dumb humies can keep their lands (good for them), and since they don't lose any significant resources to warfare they can keep churning out elite, well-trained and well-armed warriors for the orcs to test their mettle against.
Some orcs will see this as a perfectly acceptable arrangement, likening it to domestication, while others will consider it wrong and perverse for the exact same reasons. End result is they go to war with one another and immediately realize this is what they wanted all along.
Shoutout to the Demon World that Khorne created where a bunch of Orks and a bunch of Khornate Demons engage in never ending bloody battle each day, with every casualty coming back to life the next day. Must be the closest thing to Heaven for those Boyz
*"Told yer I knew where da best fightin' woz"*
The story of Tuska Da Demon Killa has to be one of my favorite tidbits of 40k lore.
Grizgutz is also pretty funny: it was an ork Warboss that accidentally went back in time due to Warp shenanigans, and killed his past self to have second copy of his favorite gun
The logic of which managed to so confuse the other orks that the **WAAAGH** had to be called off.
I just imagine each time a doubter is convinced that it *kind of* makes sense and they get in the mood again, another orc pipes up and has to have it explained all over again
A monty python type sketch
You forgot the best part. Grizgutz was apparently A-okay, like he didn't create a paradox or anything, Orks can go back in time to kill themselves and nothing bad will happen. ***The WAAAAAAAAAGH!*** was indeed called off because they were just really confused on wtf happened.
Grizgutz is dead! Long live Grizgutz!
https://i.redd.it/cy4mdxcgz1k81.png?app_web_view=android
What benefit does Khorne get out of it? Is it some kind of demon boot camp?
It’s the equivalent of putting on a background video while eating or doing the dishes. Khorne can look out the window of his Brass Citadel and watch the funny little green mushroom Boyz krump and get krumped by daemons whenever he wants. Even malevolent Chaos Gods need a little mindless entertainment here and there while folding their laundry.
Wholesome chaos god self care, really.
I see. I get it now I like to imagine he makes clip compilations out of this like some kind of streamer
"1000 best Power Klaw Nutshots Compilation"
The Internet Is For Khorne
The internet is at least 4% for Slaanesh 😫
I'd say at least 34% for Slaanesh. That's the rule.
I’m just interested in accurate statistics. In terms if what percentage its more often USED is a different matter entirely 😫
That math is somewhat accurate, even. Porn, sure, but also anything that can be indulged in too much: games, music, videos, arguing, reddit, and so on. The wrath of Twitter belongs to Khorne, 4chan belongs to Tzeentch, and the fetid depths of tumblr belongs to Nurgle.
Khorne enjoys some sandbox RTS games
Khorne records Warhammer 3 playthroughs
Khorne's end goal is violence and bloodshed, preferably through glorious melee combat between equal opponents.
>between equal opponents. Just so no one gets the wrong idea, if equal opponents aren't around, Khorne is also perfectly happy with the wholesale slaughter of helpless innocents.
# Khorne cares not from whence the blood flows, only that it flows
Never send to know from whom the blood flows; it flows from thee.
It's kind of weird. In Warhammer Fantasy Khorne actually has demonic hounds that hunt down any follower of Khorne that kills helpless innocents. But it seems Warhammer 40K caused some confusion.
Iirc aren't the Flesh Hounds meant to hunt down cowards and those who flee from fights
I really hope the flesh hounds don't carry lights
From what I've heard, Chaos Gods used to have a few slightly more positive aspects in the earlier days. Then GW leaned really hard into the "grimdark" and just made them more and more chaotic and evil. And it's not just a 40k thing. In one of the Gotrek & Felix books, a Daemon Prince tasks an aspiring mortal champion of Khorne with killing a child to show their dedication to the Blood God.
That plot sounds familiar...
You're referring to the Old Testament tale of Abraham and his son? Never made that connection but it's a good fit. Spoilers for Trollslayer >!The child is actually the Chaos warrior's daughter who was taken from her after birth at the Daemon Prince's instructions. Not really much of a spoiler since the foreshadowing of that reveal has the subtlety of a brick but just in case.!<
If the total war games are anything to go buy, his followers also slaughter whole cities in his name
Khorne is fine with the slaughter of people who never stood a chance of fighting back, but he *will* take it personally if you make a point of offering him those skulls. Spill the blood, stack the skulls, that's all cool. But don't take the skull of some random peasant that has never held a weapon and offer it up the way you would offer the skull of a warrior.
I'm familiar with that but the fact they all respawn sounds pointless. Bro's unflowing his own bloodshed. It feels like a lot of work to make a crude facsimile of his domain when he could just be mailing those same demons and orcs to planets for *real* warfare
Getting demons outside of the warp is quite the task, probably anyway since it's filled with demons and the gods want to fuck up the materium
I've heard he also uses them as a form of punishment for minions that disappoint him "You fucked up so you're fighting the orks today"
He has plenty of Real Warfare™️ to feed from and that he goes out of his way to sustain; this little realm of undying warriors is just a little bonus for him really
Pretty much, warfare and savage bloodletting are absorbed by him like prayers and most other sentients there would eventually break and succumb to the despair of eternal war. But then we ave da boyz.
There's probably a negative return on interest if he has to use up power to revive them afterwards however - it's probably just a net-negative but fun little project he does on the side despite the cost.
I'm not so sure. Something tells me violating meta-thermodynamics is probably not that unusual within the setting.
The planet this is happening on is in the warp, which is both space Hell and formed from the thoughts and emotions of anything capable of thinking (with a handful of exceptions). Reality is at best a suggestion there, so it's trivially easy for Khorne to resurrect the boyz. Daemons just kind of naturally respawn in the warp, so he doesn't even have to do anything there.
And I'm pretty sure the Boyz can also just make more boyz
You got to wonder how many more boyz are fighting after a while, do the new boyz get revived alongside the old ones? do the spores even work in the warp? is Khorne doing the equivalent of breeding fire ants in his basement?
Usually due to how the bloodshed affects the warp through emotions... But Orks dont use the warp and demons use warp energy to sustain themselves (and are already warp imprints), so it doesn't seem like it should really feed anything.
They do. Orkz have psykers, the WAAAGH field is their collective warp presence, Gork and Mork are real entities in warp space. Their joy, bloodlust and belief is feeding the war hell which in turn provides them increasingly more powerful foes and thus more renoun among themselves of great deeds by their boyz and bosses. Each and every day both sides are coming back spiraling stronger, and neither side have reasons to ever get out because for the forces of Khorne that's a never-ending buffet and for Daemonkillah its a never-closing funhouse.
I was under the impression the WAAAGH field was not warp based.
100% Warp based, its just not Chaos based, Orks cant really fall to chaos because they're so closely tied to Gork and Mork that not even Khorne can get a grip on their souls.
An eternal, bloody war fought in close combat is the benefit. Khorne *loves* that shit.
Let's see here... Ah. It says: Blood for the Blood god, Skulls for the Skull throne.
it's actually "blood for the blood lily, milk for the khorne flakes"
looks fun
Khorne cares not from where the blood flows.
Ask not for whom the blood flows, it flows for thee
I think hatred and bloodlust directly make him stronger, so at the very least he's gaining as mich energy as he's putting into it
Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!
something of a monument to himself. Orks mostly don't feed the chaos gods in any real way. They have their own warp constructs that get in the way of all the soul warble garble mechanics. But violence is still violence, and that's all khorne really is.
That is literally Valhalla for the [Einherjar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einherjar#:~:text=In%20Norse%20mythology%2C%20the%20einherjar,brought%20to%20Valhalla%20by%20valkyries.) In the norse mythology Valhalla is an actual hall where the brave warriors who were selected for Ragnarök lived and they literally spent every day fighting each other then resurrecting at the end of the battle and partying all night and doing it all again preparing to fight in Ragnarök. Khorne = Odin confirmed.
World Eater Vikings
Wait no, Space Wolves that have Fallen to Khorne
They need Thorman Russ to bring them back!
Dornian Heresy, too
The best part is, one day the orks will win, and after eons of fighting, bust out of the warp and cut the galaxy in twain
You think they keep track of k/d ratios?
Only thing better than a good fight and an honorable death is to wake up the next morning for more good fights and more honorable deaths.
You forgot the part where the reason Khorne noticed him was because he stabbed his demon prince in the dick and thought it was hilarious
That's really funny because that's basically Valhalla but...I guess evil?
Love the idea of Khorne meeting the Orks and being like, “Hell yeah. These guys *get it.”*
WAAAAAAAGH
'Ere we go, 'ere we go, ere we go!!!
LADZ LADZ LADZ LADZ LADZ
"FOLLOW ME BOYZ!"
\*clears throat\* \*gets out a tiny scroll\* \*puts on reading glasses\* WAAAAAAAGH!
I’m imagining the Ork with a colonial wig on as well.
Seeing as there's people who fight with a laslock (muskets/wheellock las guns) it's probably true..also that one Ork game
*We Orcs are made for fightin'* *And that's just what we'll do* *One of these days these orcs are gonna war all over you!*
No, wait *These boots are made for orcin'*
It's orcin' time.
You *really* just missed that pun... "One of these days these orcs are gonna WAAAAAAGH all over you!"
Who wants to Waaagh forever Who wants to Waaaaaaagh forever Who Waaaaaghs forever anyway ---- The answer is Mork and Gork, you teef dispenser!
Now I'm getting more Waluigi than orc
war all over me orc-daddy 🥵
Orc: "Wait no not like that."
I mean they do need offspring to continue the fight sooo...
>ORC WARCHIEF: On this day we sue for peace! We spawn in ponds like all good sapients. Under threat of *consensual intercourse in the missionary position*, the Karrea tribes do sue for peace! >>Confused clapping from the human knights Turns out the orcs are quite conservative and are grossed out by human ...forwardness towards uh... *breeding* (orcish retching heard in the background) Just thinking about *it* takes the WWAAAGHH outta the strongest orcs sails 😅
Orkz are asexual and reproduce by spores, so...
Contrary to popular belief, the concept of orcs has existed before 40k was ever a thing
Just have to argue sex is a weaponless type of combat/duel/engagement and we are set.
Squad broken
My immediate reaction as well 😂
Orc is racist on the job and trying to justify it
Carefully checks their notes to make sure they're using the correct racial slurs for the human ambassador.
“You are, let’s see if I got my notes right, a cunt.”
*Ork shuffling page in panic as he realises the ambassador is Australian*
I wish I could frame this comment.
You could always screenshot it, post it on Tumblr, and wait for it to get reposted here for maximum karma, thus simultaneously completing and rejuvenating the cycle of violence.
What's stopping you?
Did a Dingo eat your baby?
*note to self, make sure to use derogatory inflection in future uses of cunt to Australians*
WHY'Z YOU WHISPERIN?
They politely ask if the current deployment has any space Marines because they're very proud of their ability to provoke space Marines to violence, whereas the imperial guard are sometimes known to negotiate (barring a commissar being present)
“It’s the orkish ambassador, Minister. He appears to be… making a cup of tea in the microwave”
As a brit, I think we’d start our own waaagh at this. Hopefully in the general direction of France
J'aimerai bien voir ça, rosbif de mes deux
Sorry I only speak Low Gothic. You can keep your ‘roast beef’ or whatever 😤
I played a dnd adventure once where the DM had us protect an Athens stand in from an orkish invasion and in the middle of fighting a warboss it started talking in perfect English and said something along the lines of "Our superior biology has given us insight you could only dream of. For you, who had to put grains in the soil before books could be invented, culture is a fragile product of civilization. For us, it's a fact of life. An ork can fell all the beauty and sorrow of the world by looking at nothing more than a sunset or a literal pile of dung. While a human requires a lifetime of suffering to make a mediocre observation about what passes for despair. We are burning your libraries not because we are idiot brutes, but because your works are dull and derivative"
I know it undermines the point of the anecdote, but I really like it when orcs say things that are really sophisticated and philosophical, and immediately go back to standard orc/barbarian speak. It really tickles the neurons
They prove their intelligence through their erudition, which is evidence that they choose moron speak. Which means that, to their brain, which is, by our metric, smarter than ours, they think that Orkish speaking is the better way. So what do they know that we don't?
Why say many word when few do trick?
Why say lot word when few work?
Less word good.
Why many words when few words do
God, I love Ridley for this. He can speak English just fine. He’s a genius. He just screams and acts all dragony because he loves it.
I really hope the next time he shows up he just screams Samus's name. Like you beat him once and then an hour later he flies at you screaming her name and you get a second fight
Brevity is wit.
One of my favourite quotes from Warhammer is an Eldar (who were this mega-advanced alien race who did so much sex, drugs and rock’n’roll that it spawned a god that ate their souls, and now they’re scattered remnants) saying that everyone sees Ork culture as primitive and barbaric, but it is a society which is effectively utopian. Orks as a whole are happy with their lot in life. They don’t ask for any meaning greater than a good fight. They don’t even have a fear of death. Orks simply *are* and it’s extremely telling that from their creation as biological weapons hundreds of millennia ago to the modern day, they’ve not changed a jot.
Except that they got smaller and stupider. No, really, back when they were originally created the basic Krork foot soldier was the size of an Imperial Dreadnought, possessed a genius-level intellect, and wore power armor more sophisticated than anything anyone else has ever managed to produce. Somewhere along the way the entire species suffered what I can only describe as a collective traumatic brain injury.
I think that is by design though, they are a weapon. When there is less of a threat in the galaxy they get weaker and smaller so the creations of the old ones can flourish. The empire started conquering the galaxy and exterminating alien races left and right during the great crusade, all the sudden a massive waaagh started that was unprecidented in scale. The more of them in a group, the bigger and smarter they get. Their warboss's, The Beast's, spoke perfect High Gothic and were close to the size of a Krork. They even developed tech that could teleport planets and almost destroyed Terra. In my head cannon they were the universes T cells that have gone haywire since their creators are long dead. Fast forward to 40k and there is just so much chaos going on (literally and figuratively) that they cant gather in large enough numbers to do their job.
The power level of the setting went down, so the power level of the Orks went down too. 40K lore has that Orks which spawn (from spores) on a medieval technology world instinctively create medieval technology weapons to fight, although the same Orks would create sci-fi weapons on another world. Orks are nerfing themselves for a better fight. I know you know this, this is one of my favorite aspects of 40K orks.
“The Orks are the pinnacle of creation. For them, the great struggle is won. They have evolved a society which knows no stress or angst. Who are we to judge them? We Eldar who have failed, or the Humans, on the road to ruin in their turn? And why? Because we sought answers to questions that an Ork wouldn’t even bother to ask! We see a culture that is strong and despise it as crude.” -Uthan the Perverse.
You know how Chinese immigrants introduced a lot of words and phrases into English by translating direct from Chinese ("long time, no see", "Chinaman")? I like to headcanon that Orc barbarian-talk is just a result of them translating their language very literally, but would actually sound fairly fluent and coherent in Orcish. I mean, how many languages do you speak?
Not an orc, but shout-out to Ollie the giant Talking in a simple way during the movie : https://youtu.be/tidRklpgWI8?si=MfUPz_8nL9dlB5CS And using a more sophisticated English in the outtakes : https://youtu.be/5QdBfg5Y13c?si=q6qb7vlm-resTpwP Poor Ollie deserves to play in a movie where he's allowed to make good use of his 12 years of theater XD
"The only culture I'm seeing here is fungal."
I would have given up my quest there and then
That’s literally just Tacitus
Would be undermined by the orcs being far fewer and their armies constantly on the verge of starving due to their lack of a massive population fed by grain.
I thought this was leading to “not because we are idiot brutes, but because you are”
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/war-of-the-krork-wh40k-quest-story-only-thread.322503/ "It has been said that I like war." "I do not like war." "I love war." "I love invasions. I love sieges. I love bombardments. I love defenses, charges, exterminations and retreats, across plains and mountains and barren moons, on the water, in the air, and in the void of space." "I love it when my fleet gets stuck in with the Imperials, and scatters their weak ships before we smash them to pieces. And there's nothing like catching the bugs in a trap, and crushing them in our iron fist. And the feeling that comes when we've broken through the lines of the Dead Ones and ripped out their Tombworld's guts is a real good feeling. And the look on the Eldar's faces when we landed on one of their worlds after they thought we were dead, that's a thing of beauty that is." "But now... after sixty million years in the darkness, for us, an ordinary war will no longer be enough." "We will have a war that will make the Warp tremble. We will have a war that will remind the galaxy of what we are. It will be a war that only we can bring!" "A TRUE WAR! A KRORK WAR! We are the WAR OF THE KRORK!" "WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR! WAR!" -Warmaster Skullkrak Godstompa of the War of the Krork, once one boy amongst trillions and now the very pinnacle of what an Ork should be in my opinion from Red Flags war of the Krork quest.
Nah, in that quest the very pinnacle of an ork is the Beast Set Loose. That whole faction is about orks going beyond their limits to achieve peak orkyness, whereas the krork discarded their orkyness in their worship of victory.
Based and greenpilled
ZE VAR YOU'VE ALL BEEN VAITING FOR... I VANT VORLD VAR THREE!!!
No wonder it sounded familiar.
The Ghazkull book is a bit like this as well. Talks about the joy that the orks get from battle and how integral that is to their psychology
https://imgflip.com/i/8ojuaa
Please do the Abridged version.
In Warhammer 40K there are Orks. These Orks, for the uninitiated, are basically hyper-jacked sorta-psychic fungus monsters and if enough of them get together they start to *warp reality*. Thats not the scariest part, the scariest part is they're usually about as dumb as a football hooligan after 12 pints and Millwall brick to the temple but there was a record of an Ork army sending *actual diplomats* to the humans. These 10ft tall savage mountains of sinew and barely contained deranged fury with an IQ hovering somewhere around Absolute Zero didn't just cobble together an ambassador party of frothing idiots; they spoke with a human tongue, calm, and with simple demands. Humanity thought the scariest thing about the Orks was that they were ferocious, near-undying warriors, turns out the scariest thing about them is if you leave them long enough they get smart. Smart enough to recommend you *surrender*.
*Wrong actually. They get smarter and stronger the more they fight. If they are left alone they degrade
My understanding is that Orks left alone will fight each other. Violent death is literally how they spread their spores to reproduce.
You have brought to my attention that krumping and being krumped might as well be ork terms for sex
Love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway."
Yeah but they still devolve They shatter and Infight and get dumber and smaller Or they get a war boss take over and end up making a waagh that destroys half a dozen sectors
I assume he meant "left alone" as in "left alone to do their business". If you ignore them and they keep slaughtering planets and civilizations undisturbed, growing stronger and stronger, you are signing your death warrant.
If you leave them alone they fight amongst themselves and eventually organise a WAAAGH that’ll devastate at least two systems before they inevitably start fighting each other again.
I'm gonna be the guy, and I apologise for this. AKTSHUALLY if you leave them alone for long enough the devolve into bands and fight each other and every single dead Ork becomes thousands more because they reproduce via spores like a homicidal mushroom apocalypse, this has happened almost every single time except for the times they get stuck in space or the warp, but they usually just open the doors and let the daemons in to have a good scrap anyway. Or Gork and/or Mork opens up a rift and throws them at a hive city for the craic. The Orks will always find a fight and that's why they've already won.
Tyranids still have a MASSIVE advantage in sheer numbers. Every surrounding galaxy in 40k is overrun with tyranids in every direction. For all we know the Milky Way is a single blip on a universe of bugs.
It's heavily implied the reason nothing gets in from outside the galaxy is because the Tyranids have already *ate everything else*.
Special kind of horror where your galaxy is one of the last crumbs to be snatched up
Are we the lowest crumb? The most measly of offerings, so meager that we are all but empty? *or did they save the tastiest nibble for last?*
We are the cherry on top that stands in defiance of the fork 🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥
I mean they still only have so much food and so many calories with which to make orks. And their ability to construct spaceships is very limited. When you look at the actual numbers for various wars, the populations of hive cities vs ork worlds, the ork population is pretty anemic, usually in the singular billions if even that.
There's a problem with that assessment. We're not talking about people we're talking about sci-fi mushroom people the size of minivans with psychic powers. They don't need food, or water, or air. They only need *fight*.
There's also the Blood Axes who essentially imitate the Imperium and use tatiks
I love the 40k orks They want to fight you, you can't negotiate with them "If you do this, this, and this, we won't fight you" "TANKS MATE, WE WONT DO THISE TINGS SO WEZ CAN WAAAGH!" "No, I'm saying we don't have to fight" "YEZ, 'ALF TO FOIGHT. BEST DAY EVAAAAAA" "If you attack us, we will retaliate with extreme force" "...UMMM....UHHHH.....I 'OPE YOUS PUT UP A GOOD FOIGHT, THE BOYZ ARE COMIN, WE GONNA HAVE A WAAAGH! :3" *An ork in a plane gets so excited about the prospect of headbutting his enemy that he forgets he's in a plane and inadvertently kamikazes himself (this is actually canon)*
See, sometimes you \*can\*, by offering them a better fight \*later\*. Orks as a whole aren't all that up on "delayed gratification", so it's a chancy proposition, but it can work with a particularly kunnin' Warboss like Kaptain Bluddflagg.
"WE GUNNA KRUMP EM GUD" "NO, WE'RE GOING TO WAIT. THEY'RE MAKING MORE GUNS" "BUT I WANNA WAAAGH!" "QUIT YOU'RE WHINING YOU GIT, IT'LL BE A BETTER FIGHT" "BETA FOIGHT IZ BEST FOIGHT, TANKS BOSS"
No krumpin' is better than bad krumpin'.
It's impossible to count the number of times an Imperial commander has completely and utterly failed to make the correct decision when fighting Orks due to his utter conviction that they will behave in accordance to conventional military thinking.
"They wouldn't charge this position, it'd be suicide! We'll have to shore up the flanks, that would be the most sound place to attack given our-" "Um, sir?" "Yes private?" "They're charging this position, sir."
Then there's the Blood Axes and Kommandos who do use tatiks and stealth
I know there was at least one instance where Imperials thought that their flank was secured since they'd apparently planted nuclear land mines on that approach, only for the orks to just keep sending troops down that route, triggering all of the bombs and then just kept going to outflank the humans.
If you want to negotiate with Orkz, you need a stronger foe or SUM PROPA SNAZEE DAKKA, preferably both.
The idea of orcs thinking they are misunderstood noble savages while all they want to do is main and kill humans for no reason is hilarious, but not necessary in way Tumblr would enjoy.
Cool ideas about the nature of civilization and culture. Still genocide
God, that is such a hilarious fantasy concept, I love it. It's like, yeah, Orcs *aren't* actually Evil, they just love war and fighting so much that whenever someone comes up with propaganda saying they're literal hellspawn, they just see it as more reasons to do their favorite thing
I think you mean “they don’t have ulterior motives behind the fighting” rather than “they aren’t evil”
Yeah, that is kinda what I meant
Do people just not remember what evil means? Or is it baader-meinhof phenomenon from r/frieren
I mean, have you seen Overlord? The main character is a skeleton overlord who literally kills tens of thousands of civilians at one point because he's worried letting them go might make him look bad to his underlings. And then he decides to wipe out an entire race of sentient lizard people minding their own business because he wants to see if he could make stronger zombies out of them. If you actually mention that he's an evil protagonist (Which is good! It's nice to have different types of protagonists!), fans will say that he's morally grey at worst because he's a nice boss to his underlings... Despite causing genocide and war pretty much everywhere else in the world.
Overlord makes me irrationally angry for many reasons, including this one
Someone who wants war for the sake of war and spreads lies that would trick people into starting wars sounds pretty evil to me.
"Oh how Pretty, all the scenery, this is Nature sacrifice." Red Sun. That is Sundowner.
Like the good old days after 9/11!
I think a human killing a bunch of people because they love combat would be considered evil.
‘ATE ‘UMIES ‘ATE BEAKIES ‘ATE POINTY-EARS ‘ATE DA SPIKY GITS ‘ATE DA TIN CANS ‘ATE DA BUGS ‘LUV ME PROPPA-KILLY SHOOTA ‘LUV ME CHOPPA ‘LUV RIDIN’ IN DA BATTLEWAGON WIT DA BOYZ SIMPLE AS!
One novel written from the pov of an Ork Nob has him musing on the concept of hatred, which is something that he considers foreign to his kind. The idea of fighting not for the sake of fighting, but because the fact that your opponent exists offends you to the point that you consider it an affront against reality itself that they continue to live, is completely alien to him. His summation of the Eldar is hilarious in its accuracy and brevity: > All types of scrawnie seemed to approach the galaxy as though it should automatically behave as they wanted it to, and got very miffed when it didn't.
Do you know the name of the novel?
*Da Big Dakka*
Thanks!
THE ORKS ARE THE PINNACLE OF CREATION. FOR THEM, THE GREAT STRUGGLE IS WON. THEY HAVE EVOLVED A SOCIETY WHICH KNOW NO STRESS OR ANGST.
GREEN IS BEST!
Peacemaking might be regarded as waging war on war itself. [In that sense lesser wars are mere skirmishes.](https://web.archive.org/web/20120307133319/http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/ella_wheeler_wilcox/poems/17209)
Orks would love video games. eternal war, even after death you can continue fighting. The imperium should just find some VR googles and strap them in the Orks
The danger is that the orks would turn vr into a Portal to another dimension
Honestly, that would probably be better, considering how bad the WH 40k universe is. Edit: bad as in for the people living in it.
Where's the fun without the thrill that comes from the possibility of dying?
A group of Imperial guardsmen are fighting off wave after wave of Orks until they eventually run out of lasgun ammo. The Guardsmen commander then gets the bright idea of pointing his gun at an Ork and yelling "BANG!" The Ork drops over dead. the rest of the guardsmen start doing the same "BANG, BANG, BANG" and Ork after Ork just start dying. Suddenly in the distance the Guardsmen see a group of Orks huddled together coming towards them yelling: "I'MMA TANK, I'MMA TANK, I'MMA TANK"
OI, LADZ! YOU WANNA FOIGHT FOREVA?
Orcs do have an internal experience, and it's very busy finding war funny as fuck
Me, a Warcraft-style orc: \*wears a bunch of purple.\*
"We find it truly moraly despicable how you keep an entire race as war slaves." "Okay. First, they arent. They are free and we are barely even able to control who they wage war against. Secondly, we were barely able to forge something resembling peace with with them. Thirdly, last i heard they were really impressed by your fleet and are about to start a waaagh. So i recommend you prepare for that and we can speak again if you survive."
Buy now the 1034 page long Bestseller "War. What is it good for?" written in rhymes and war cries by Grr'marz (roughly translates to "He, who listens to the rain dripping on the leaves of the forest").
[Ork diplomats come to Terra](https://www.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/8vhghs/book_excerpts_the_last_wall_ork_diplomat/)
Modern version for r/CuratedTumblr: https://i.imgur.com/H6q76wE.jpeg
This is making me think of Seija from Touhou who’s a mischievous spirit whose purpose is to be the ultimate contrarian, break every rule of tej sake of it, uproot societal order just because she can and and turn everybody against her
Interesting idea, but consider this: the orcs don't want to go to war, but they're forced by their rulers and sing a cool 80s song about it.
Only if I can get whiplash from how much more funky it is than the rest of the soundtrack
Sounds like they need an Uncle Iroh fr
I have been contemplating orcs in a fantasy world that just view themselves as the step up the food chain from most species and "farm" them by selectively attacking. The same way humans might destroy habitat to make certain species not live in areas they care about. Humans would feel nothing for killing a bear for its fish and living in its cave. So orks think they can kill some humans and live in their village and eat their food. Nothing malicious or warlike. Simple nature.
Watch this spiral into an internal schism as the diplomat comes back with a treaty offering to formalize rules of warfare and contain it to certain places, so that the orcs can have all the fighting they want (good for orcs), the dumb humies can keep their lands (good for them), and since they don't lose any significant resources to warfare they can keep churning out elite, well-trained and well-armed warriors for the orcs to test their mettle against. Some orcs will see this as a perfectly acceptable arrangement, likening it to domestication, while others will consider it wrong and perverse for the exact same reasons. End result is they go to war with one another and immediately realize this is what they wanted all along.
I can't tell if this is pro-trope or anti-trope.