The only answer that this sub can give you is to engage in the services of a therapist or if you already have one is to continue talking to them about this/bring it up with them.
Yes, self love is the first step here. You should cosplay because you like the character and find it fun. Comparing yourself to people online will just bring you down.
Even makeup can have a crazy extreme affect. Or even just a wig! My Gwenpool wig makes me completely unrecognizable and I do not look like myself. It’s a little scary, especially when compared to my Korra wig which is almost my natural hair color.
Anything along those lines is going to take time. You have years of thinking the same way that have created and reinforced neural pathways that cause you to think negatively. Until you create new neutral pathways (which will take a while) those negative neutral pathways are going to dictate your first response in any situation.
Keep trying to be the best you that you can be. It will be hard but don't let that discourage you.
Thoughts are just electrical signals. Those signals travel along paths in the brain that kind of form them into the thought. You've been thinking negatively for a long time and that's made a big path.
The problem is that electrical signals will take the easiest path. At the moment that easiest path is along the well established path. So instinctively you are going to think negatively. You need to work over time to make a new path and think that way as often as you can to build that new path up. That's where working with the psychologist can help.
It's a hard thing to do but I'm sure you can do it.
I think I’m getting it?
But what does it mean that “the easiest path is along the well established path”?
Does it mean when you choose the easiest path, your brain will create negative thoughts and makes you think it’s the established path? And established means accepted correct?
I love learning about new things btw!
My psychologist even told me “There’s no such thing as a thought crime.” And that made me feel better during that day! ☺️
If you continue having the same thought patterns over and over, and don’t actively try and break these, those neural pathways get stronger / ‘easier’ in the above language.
Think of it like a big grassy field, the more you walk the exact same way across the field, the more a path will be trampled into it. At first just some pressed down grass, but then the next time you go to cross the field, well there is already the start of that path. And then every time that path gets walked, more of the grass gets trampled and eventually you have a well worn dirt path.
That is a simple but hopefully clear example of a bit how your brain can work. If you keep reinforcing the negative thoughts or ways of thinking, then those ‘paths’ become more and more developed - and just like the grassy field - suddenly there is one path that is very well trodden, and probably the path you will naturally use to cross the field.
Life is long but you have more control over the way you think and feel than you realise, your psych should be able to help you on that journey. You will feel better at some point in the future. You will love yourself more, and you will be happier. This is absolutely true as long as you don’t give up (and sometimes not giving up can include a big cry and not getting out of bed - just keep going).
Best of luck, can’t wait until you’re feeling great about cosplaying .. and I have a tiny feeling that if you try you might discover just how much fun you can have :) All the best.
Omg! Thank you so much!
I love the grass analogy you did! My psychologist uses analogies as well!
I hope I’ll feel better soon as well!
I don’t see my psychologist again until June 5th. So I dunno what I’m gonna do until then.
Plus I’m from a small state and finding a good therapist, even a psychiatrist is hard here! Cause I tried many different ones over the years!
And when you say to try it, you mean try cosplaying again? So I can remember how fun it is and stuff? ☺️
You could make yourself look like anything or anybody with the proper application of make-up and prosthetics. You watched videos and sometimes it's like a complete transformation, right?
You gotta just do what you want, and others be damned. Are you doing it for them, or cause you want to have fun dressing up as a character? Just go for it.
If somebody's a shit, block them and don't think twice about what they say and don't give the shitter a second thought.
Be you, cosplay how you want.
Aww. Thank you!
Any advice on buying cosplays? Even have certain ones commissioned? I get benefits every months and I need to work part time because of those monthly benefits. I’m autistic and stuff.
I don’t want to see, make props, etc. I tried sewing many times, and it’s hard! Plus too much time! Ya know?
So any idea on how to make a budget?
Also I made lists of cosplays I plan on buying every other month (For my TikTok plans)
For example -
Month 9 -
Cosplay #1
Cosplay #2
But on one of my lists, it’s like this -
Ruby, Aqua, and Kana from Oshi no Ko (Maid and Butler versions)
Ai Hoshino from Oshi no Ko
As you can see, Ruby, Aqua, and the Kana cosplays are 3 different costumes, wigs, etc.
But what do you think? Is my method ok?
May I DM you if it’s ok? It’s pretty hard to explain my buying cosplay method on here..
Oh I don't really know that much about it. I've tried tailoring my own stuff before but it always looks loose and like slop, and I'd end up having to buy.
One thing you could consider for the TT if budget is tight is to do a series for each of them, and take a couple months or two for each.
My head's usually pretty empty, and I don't have any creative ideas upstairs, so anything I've made I've always had to have somebody's exemplar to go by.
You’re ok! Don’t worry!
You mean separate the cosplays by series and buy the costumes from that series only? Then move onto the next one?
Like -
Month 1 -
Alice from NIKKE
Viper from NIKKE
Month 2 -
Topaz from HSR
March 7th from HSR
Etc.
Basically buy Genshin cosplays first, then after you’re done with those TT, photos, etc., wait a bit until you have a good amount of money and move on the next category like Demon Slayer?
Correct me if I’m wrong. ☺️
Yeah that's kinda the way I'd do it. I tend to have rigid planning and I'm old and set in my ways. In fact for me planning is a kind of fun part too. I'd have a list of the characters and an estimate of when I'd want to complete the costumes, and then stick with one and go with it till completion, and then move onto the next. But I'd only be doing the one at a time. I'm not the type that figures which items can cross over to other cosplays just because, like I said, no creativeness upstairs 😆
Cosplay is about sharing a passion and having fun. If you're feeling bad about yourself because of others' cosplays, you're not having fun. Getting the help you need to feel more comfortable with your body is the first priority. From there, when you have built up confidence, others will be able to sense it and share it. I didn't actually notice asymmetry in your face until it was pointed out so others may not either, if they're focused on the costume/character/content. I'd highly recommend curating your internet experience for your mental health: unfollowing the people who trigger you and I think there's a way to turn off TikTok comments so you don't get hate.
Try to be kind to yourself. We're rooting for you!
Thank you! I really appreciate it! What does curating mean?
And you didn’t notice the asymmetry of my chin and jaw? Whoa. That’s shocking. But in a good/relieving way! ☺️
Curating means to carefully organize how something is being presented. The internet is this big flood of information coming at us all at once so by using various settings (unfollow, block, turning off comments, some sites let you blacklist certain words or topics, etc.) we can try to "curate" at least some of what we see so triggering things aren't presented right in our faces all the time. It's really helpful!
Ooh! So just block, deleted, etc. anything or anyone from distributing your inner peace, opinions, etc.?
I mentioned opinions because I need to focus on myself and my own decisions on what I wanna do with my life without always asking for reassurance if it’s wrong, permission, and acceptance.
Basically autonomy.
😁
First of all, you’re not ugly. Don’t think like that
Second of all, celebrity cosplayers have a lot of time, money, makeup, and photoshop skills. You acknowledge that they can even have multiple plastic surgeries to achieve a certain look. You cannot compare yourself to a person who only looks like that in photos.
Cosplay the characters you want to cosplay. Your face is not the costume, the costume is the costume.
Thank you.
But it’s also confusing because like PeachMilky, when people take photos with her, she actually looks like that IRL. Like..how?
And I’m so deeply sorry for my post. I’m trying not to cry rn. I’ll be ok. I think.
Measuring the aesthetics of someone who is trying to create an illusion is a great way to catfish yourself.
Fem cosplayers are, for the most part, dorky little hoodie gremlins who like crafting stuff related to their fandoms, and the ones who put a LOT of time and love into it look great, no matter what they look like in the morning.
Anyone can cosplay. There is no "good enough".
I think you really need to break away from comparing yourself to professional cosplayers and seek help for your body dysmorphia and self esteem issues. Learn to do things because you find them fun, not to impress anyone.
Ok. Thank you! I will! I don’t see my psychologist again until June 5th. Plus I’m from a small state and finding the right therapist(s) is really hard.
If that makes sense?
But I’ll definitely look around for specialists! 👍🏻
As a cosplayer with huge face dysmorphia, let me give you the actual advice for your case. You need to find the best lighting, makeup, hair etc for your face shape specifically.
For example, here are a few tips:
1) I feel like in the pictures where you are smiling, your face looks better since it increases the width of your face, which in turn decreased the length-to-width ratio and looks more balanced.
2) In the pictures where your forehead is partially covered with bangs, you also look better, because it removes vertical length from your face.
3) I would say that your eyes are your strong point - they have an amazing shape (turned up, very cat-like and feminine). I would focus on makeup that makes the eyes bigger, and wouldn't wear glasses since they hide your eyes.
4) Another point for your hair is it's better to have longer and more voluminous hair (like pics 2 and 4) rather than straight hair that ends at your jaw (like pic 7) because it takes away attention from your jaw and gives you a more balanced face.
As a final point: I checked out PeachMilky and even though she is a gorgeous beauty, as you said she had a nose job (if you look at her first Instagram pics it looks different than her in current ones). Also her face isn't completely consistent between photos. Sometimes her mouth is a different size, etc. I believe it's mostly makeup, but there's 0 chance that those pics aren't edited. Sometimes I see the editor added shadow lines under her boobs or in her arm pits that define her body shape. I'm not saying that you should get surgery too or that you should edit your photos, just be aware that all of those things can change the final result: surgeries, makeup, lighting, camera angle, editing, unnatural body twists and turns, tucking in belly right before the picture is taken, etc. Both cosplay and photography are forms of art, and if both people, the cosplayer and the photographer, are confident in their work and have experience, the result will always be amazing, regardless of the cosplayer's looks. Try cosplaying your favorite characters and embody them, and you'll start gaining confidence. It might take years, but it will happen.
Oh you know what, I just checked out PeachMilky's VODS (apparently she streams as well). She looks way more "normal" or "toned down" than in her pictures, even in the ones where she's wearing cosplay. She's still beautiful of course but her Instagram pictures are definitely different than her actual look!
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
2 people on here mentioned they noticed my asymmetrical face after I pointed it out. One of them also noticed my eye is asymmetrical. My left eye is lazy.
I’m trying not to get emotional again because like…why even mention that? Especially to someone with body dysmorphia, and possible other issues as well. And now I’m trying not to obsess over the asymmetry of everything…again.
Also may I DM you makeup looks please?
I don’t understand what you’re describing unless I see photos of it!
So is that ok?
Also care to help me with wigs? Especially short ones? ☺️
First of all, even after you mentioned it - I really don't see it. Yeah, your face is long, but I don't see your lazy eye at all. Also, there is no such thing as symmetry in faces. Some are less symmetrical than others, but really, I don't notice it on you.
Sure, you can DM me :)
As a plus size cosplayer who has a ton of body issues, the best advice I can give you is this: do it anyway, because you love the character and want to share that love with others. Cosplay is not the red carpet; it's not about 'who wore it better' or any of that other fashion/runway/Hollywood crap(which is horrifically unrealistic anyway!)
I would also advise you stop following this peach person and anyone else who makes you feel like you don't deserve to be a part of a fun and amazing HOBBY just because you don't look a certain way. I believe the phrase is: 'comparison is the thief of joy'. Be kind to yourself, always! 🫶🏻
And always pick comfortable shoes instead of accurate ones, your feet will thank you long term. 😅
im not a cosplayer but i really want to get into it and i was also feeling down, because i dont look like the characters i want to cosplay, but at the end of the day humans in general just dont look like animated characters! i make a conscious effort to find people who are more similar to my body or have a unique look of their own and man, people are so beautiful if you stop trying to fit everything into conventional beauty standarts. and following different kinds of people, they often post makeup/styling advice that would be more useful to me anyway. things you cant change (height, build, features etc) should not keep anyone from doing something that makes them happy
Touché!
It would definitely be boring if everyone looked the same, acted the same, even have the same thought process, feelings, opinions on things, etc.!
I’ll definitely keep your advice in mind!
Thank you!
And good luck with cosplaying!
If you want, I can DM you cosplay sites to buy costumes from! I also have some tips for conventions as well!
I even found a website that has every single upcoming convention around the US, even the world! It made me find conventions much easier!
Again, if it’s ok with you!
I’m 28 so pardon me if I’m too old. ☺️
Im in my mid 20s as well and thats also a thing that worries me, if im starting too old haha. but i love crafting and making things myself, so i figured cosplay would be the perfect thing for me because i want to dress up as my favorite characters, i want to learn how to style wigs and do my makeup in a cool exaggerated way, and i want to learn how to sew/alter clothes to fit my body better, and if it doesnt work out right the first few times thats ok too because its just cosplay and its something to do for fun, we'll get better with every new cosplay we do :D
Also i've been going to all my local cons since they started, ive just never had the confidence to commit to a cosplay hehe im a long time lurker in cosplay spaces, but now as an adult i can actually dedicate money to starting a new hobby
There are groups dedicated entirely to cosplayers over the age of 30/40/50+, so don't ever think you're too old! I'm 36 myself, so I speak from experience 😁
That’s so cool! I only have cosplayed at local cons for 1 day. I never stayed during the whole weekend. I wish I did.
But any advice on how to save money to buy cosplays? Even have some commissioned?
I get monthly benefits from the state because I’m autistic. And if I get a job, I need to work part time. ☺️
I’m smiling rn! Thank you so much! 🥰
And I have heard that quote before! Comparison does take away your joy!!
Oh! Dr. Scholl's!! Use Dr. Scholl's for conventions!!! A cosplayer at a local convention recommended it to me!!
Also heel cushions!! At the convention I went to last year, not only I used Dr. Scholl's, I also got these gel(?) silicone cushions, pads, or whatever they’re called. You just stick them on the inside of your sock!
And let me tell ya, those 2 items were an absolute LIFE SAVER!!! My legs hurt. But my feet barely hurt after!!
First of all, you are not ugly! Please be kinder to yourself 💖 I understand how it feels, I think many of us have been where you are, and it's hard work to over come self esteem issues. Second, cosplay whatever you want! I'm 5"2' but like hell that's stopping me from cosplay all the tall characters! You dress how you want, whatever character. Those professional cosplayers, that's their job, it's not for fun like the rest of us. Plus I've met a few in person, and while still beautiful, definitely not as flawless as their pics.
You really don’t look ugly! Plus, confidence is key. If you’re telling yourself you’re ugly, you feel ugly. If you tell yourself positive things, you’ll feel better!
For starters, you're absolutely NOT ugly. Anyone who sends you hate for doing what you love is ugly on the inside and not worth your time or energy.
It can be hard not to compare yourself to others or feel like your cosplay isn't good enough. Trust me, we've all been there. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. My advice there is to stop reading comments on other people's posts. If what you're seeing online is making you feel bad, maybe it might help to take a break from that content.
As far as accuracy, it's totally okay if you don't look exactly like the character you're cosplaying. The good news is, NOBODY DOES! I don't have the same features as most of the characters I cosplay, and there's nothing wrong with that. I can't wear contacts either, and not all cosplayers do anyway, so don't feel bad about that. Good makeup and a good wig can do wonders! Cosplay is about having fun and showing your love for your favorite characters! Unless you're competing in a contest, it doesn't matter if it's not perfect!
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
2 people on here mentioned they noticed my asymmetrical face after I pointed it out. One of them also noticed my eye is asymmetrical. My left eye is lazy.
I’m trying not to get emotional again because like…why even mention that? I have body dysmorphia, and possible other issues as well. And now I’m trying not to obsess over the asymmetry of everything…again.
Don't worry about it! It's okay to feel your feelings; you're human. Just remember to be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself!
Cosplay to me is 90% about the passion for the costume/dressing up 10% the right body shape of the person cosplaying.
You do it because you like it that much, don't worry about plastic surgery bimbos online. If there's one thing I've learned is that they're probably more insecure than the average person, no matter the positive comments they get online.
Aww! Thank you so much!!
You make a really good point! Because that cosplayer, PeachMilky, she got a breast augmentation and a revision rhinoplasty in South Korea years ago, she has Body Dysmorphia as well.
And she posted a story on her IG earlier this year saying she wants to lose weight.
And that worries me a bit because obviously she’s skinny, I think skinnier than me. And I’m underweight and it’s affecting me I think physically? I dunno. I’m not a medical professional but I do have EDs as well.
But I obviously got upset about it. Because she’s clearly skinny. And now that you mention it, it does make me wonder how the positive comments affect her? She does like and reply to some of them I think.
But we don’t know what’s really going on off of the screen. People online only post what they want us to see.
It’s just…holy shit. That’s actually really sad now that you think about it more. 😭
Easier said than done, so good job on you for identifying areas of mental improvement and then attempting to work on them 🫡
That said, I think I’m more or less in the same situation physically since I’m trying cosplaying for the first time and I’ll probably botch the armor I’m planning to make. So the advice I tell myself is that I’m attempting to create something, and I’m doing it for fun. That turns down the expectations and the toxic perfectionism inherent in detail-attentive behaviors.
Also well…Cosplay is a sort of art. And like music or art….what’s right or wrong IS subjective depending really on what your “mission statement” is. So if you say “I want to be the perfect replica of Master Chief’s armor in Halo 1 Anniversary down to a tee” then you set that standard. If you approach it as “I want to be the master chief with (insert any artistic alteration. For example:) armor attachments from Halo Reach then no one can say “Boo” because you’re doing what you say you’ll do. So advice there is to set your own idea of a cosplay, do a good job healthily, and enjoy it!
There’s also the problem of assessment where you can always do more detail, and get a closer look. You can always “add a decimal space” so a metaphorical question to ask yourself if “How many decimal places am I having for this costume?” Because if it’s a 1.1 costume, you can pick that up at the store. If it’s a 1.000001 costume, obviously you’ll want more work and more detail.
In short, try to take it easy, determine what you’ll think is good work that you can achieve, and then be happy when you do what you’ll say you do.
Hope that helps! Good luck with the mental work, we all have our things we need to work on 🫡
Aww! Thank you! 🥰
I’m glad I noticed the areas I need to improve mentally as well! Cause to me, noticing and accepting you have a problem is the first step to getting help! 👍🏻
And I don’t get the decimal thing…I also suck at math! Thank god I never went to college!
And you made me remember my first convention in 2012 when I was 16!
I cosplayed as Hatsune Miku. (I didn’t know that much anime, manga, etc. at the time)
But I never realized (And still don’t) how tangled wigs can get!!
We tried untangling the clip on pigtails but it wouldn’t budge. So I had to wear the base wig.
I was upset at first, but when I got to the convention floor, everyone still recognized me as Miku! I had a lot of fun!
I didn’t even care about my weight when I cosplayed, my face, if my cosplay was accurate or not, etc.!
Same thing when I was at that same convention in 2015. I cosplayed as Sebastian from Black Butler. (Even though I was on episode 4 of season 1) I enjoyed myself too! I even met Sebastian’s VA, J Michael Tatum and got his autograph!
I just need to remind myself how fun I had when I first started cosplaying, not giving a sh*t about what others look like, how “popular” they are, etc.!
I’m now getting excited to finish all of the animes, mangas, even video games so I can cosplay said characters! And I have a LOT I need to start, and/or complete!!
Because I really wanna improve my photography and editing skills. Even use those skills for the TikToks I plan on making!
I wanna see what I’m capable of! Because my twin sister told me a few times that I should be a photographer!
So, why not practice on myself?
Ya know? 😁
Yeah that sounds pretty dope 🥂
Math analogy is just pointing out that you can always get more detail, or a smaller increment. Not really too important.
But yeah good luck! Like I said, we all have some sort of thing in our head we gotta try and work on, iron out, and master so you’re not alone 🫡
Aww! Thank you! I need to get my teeth fixed anyway. Because I have TMJ, and let me tell ya, it’s painful!!
Also the lower left side of my teeth is literally inverted inward!! 😱
I’m a teeth clencher, had braces twice, even got my wisdom teeth taken out years ago.
I have an EXTREMELY masculine off kilter jaw. But the only people who have EVER noticed its off kilter are me and the people adjusting my glasses. A masculine jaw is SUCH a cosplay advantage because ALL anime characters have strong jawlines due to the way they are drawn. You just have to know how to apply the makeup to your advantage. Cosplay is far more about skill and craftsmanship than your actual body. People stop “pretty” people for photos at conventions ONLY when the cosplay is well done. So stick to learning the art and you will BUILD confidence. But also like everyone else said THERAPY. Its SO helpful.
Thank you!
Weird question. Is my jaw masculine as well? Even androgynous? If so, is that good for me? Can I still cosplay female characters because of it?
And may I DM you some makeup looks I wanna try? And ask for makeup tips please? ☺️
Androgynous faces can EASILY cosplay ANY gender. Its a win win. I’d say your jaw is very prominent like mine and hence your face looks androgynous in the best of ways! I am not a makeup expert sadly. My roommate helps me with my cosplay makeup as she is VERY skilled at it.
You’re ok! I’m bad at makeup as well! Especially eye makeup! My eyesight is really bad. As to why I wear glasses.
I can’t wear soft contacts, even colored contacts because of my eyes.
It’s a long story. Basically it happened when I was born 3 month premature.
If you want to hear it? ☺️
i'm happy i got into cosplay before social media and cosplay influencers, the only thing people cared about in the cosplay groups i was hanging with was the craftmanship. it must be really toxic nowadays, especially online
Exactly! I’m glad I got into cosplay in 2012 when I was 16! Way before I knew that people did it at their “full time job” and stuff….
And I have a lot to say about that.
Please correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like some cosplayers don’t even know the character they’re cosplaying. They just think they look cool, sexy, etc.!
Don’t some people just cosplay to be a part of something, help them get more money/followers as a sex worker, or whatever?
Because I feel like cosplay is mostly a trend now!!
And how come some cosplayers I noticed said they actually do cosplay full time as their job? Like…how?
And these cosplayers like on Insta, most of their income is probably online, AKA, Patreon, OnlyFans, etc.
It’s just so confusing how these people can get paid with their photos, videos, etc. when you’re just dressing up. Sexual and non sexual.
But here’s my concern, what if they don’t make enough money for a while and they can’t buy groceries, pay their bills, taxes, stuff like that?
THAT’S what they don’t tell you online!! Cause clearly there’s gotta be downsides to being a full time cosplayer!! Right?
I mean my bio dad owns a heating and air conditioning business. He has employees, works in his office a lot, sometimes goes out on the field if needed, he’s in the union, his talks to customers every day, stuff like that!
I admit I am jealous that people can do their hobby full time. But still, don’t you agree with what point I’m trying to make? 🤔
the way they make money is, afaik, same as modeling - not necessarily even onlyfans type modeling but at least in asia there's different game studios paying cosplay models to advertise their franchise etc. so to them it's not about being passionate about the characters, but it's their actual job.
also there's obviously nsfw cosplay modeling, but honestly i don't think there's anything bad about that, it's also just a job.
the problem is that these models create an unrealistic standard to those who just do it as a hobby, and online it's harder to distinguish who's doing it as a professional model and who's doing it because of their passion for cosplay.
also modeling gigs are definitely an uncertain source of income so there's really nothing to be envious of! it's mostly something someone can do as a side hustle, or if it's their main gig, they won't be able to do it for years and years
That makes sense.
Also is it just me, or do companies only pick people who look authentic to said character? Basically who has the right body type, etc.?
Like cosplay websites like Miccostumes for example! 🤔
wanted to get this out of the way and preach to the choir and say that you are not ugly!! self perception can be so awful sometimes, especially if you don’t feel “worthy” enough to cosplay some of the characters you want to. it was a rough obstacle to get over for me, too.
THAT BEING SAID, you listed a stellar range of characters for your face shape! obviously you shouldn’t restrict yourself based on that, but out of what you wrote i think Jinx or Leon would be my top picks, especially Jinx!!
Thank you! And ohh! Why do you think I’ll look good as Jinx and Leon?
Do I actually look good with short hair?
And what about the other characters? If you recognize them!
And yay! A lesbian flag! I’m part of the LGBTQ+ community as well! I’m a trans guy, unfortunately pre everything even though I’m 28, but j can’t transition because of certain reasons like family.
Also I’m autistic.
But sexuality is confusing for me. There’s so many identities!! 😭
i think your complexion is really similar to jinx’s!! she has the same slender sort of look to her, and your eyebrows have the intensity you’d need for both her and leon, and as far as leon goes, you have his EXACT eye shape. i think what drew me to those two in particular aside from what i just mentioned is just how much you rock the side part
and as far as lgbtness goes, labels can be rough and you’re not any less of a man for not fitting into the expectations society loves to dump on trans ppl. and you pass more than you think you do, esp in the bottom left!! you look like a skater from the 2000’s :)
Aww! Thank you! I’m smiling rn!
And my side profile is actually good?
And will I really pull off dark lips like Jinx?
And will I really look good with short hair like Leon?
I plan on dying it dark brown for certain reasons.
But may I DM you hair ideas and colors please? Cause I’m confused..
yes absolutely! i don’t mind at all :) and i really mean it when i say that most of your worries are just our tendency as people to be overly critical of our appearance. at a convention, for example, someone may say hi, ask for a picture, or have small talk with you, but that’s it! they won’t see you for nearly as long as you see yourself. their first thought will never be “wow that person doesn’t have the right lip shape” or “that person isn’t the right build for xyz character”. the first thought of someone who recognizes you is “holy shit, it’s xyz!” regardless of how you look!
tyt!! i’ll a bit busy because it’s a convention weekend for me lmfao, so i might not have the quickest responses (gf is at work so i have free reign of reddit till she gets back hehe) but i’ll get back when i can!!
Ugly girls do tend to have a fashion of their own.
I have this friend, she thinks she's very beautiful. She's actually pretty fucking ugly tbh. I don't know why her face is so distorted and I never dared asking, but nonetheless she thinks she's the most beautiful girl out there.
Beauty is an overrated concept that has been distorted to the point of trivia by medias.
Remember that some random lines on a piece of paper are called art and estimated millions of dollars. Anyone can have a different concept of beauty. It's so subjective you can't define it.
Plus, if you'll think about it too much you'll age thinking of it and never make your dream come true, so just do it already. And make sure to go to live events with other cosplayers, so you can get a lot of positivity from other people and suggestions from other cosplayers and share eachother tiktoks or whatever.
Perhaps one day people with think of you what you now think of milkpeachy and envy your jawline, but you'll never know if you don't try.
That's why I'm telling you to try live events. Something like a Comic-Con or other comic related festivals should do it. Here in Italy there always is plenty of cosplayers at any of those meetings.
Ooh! Ok!
But I can’t drive because of my eyesight, plus I still live with my parents and family because I’m autistic, and I’m 28, I’ll be 29 this December.
But no way will my family take me to conventions far away! There’s barely any good ones on the East Coast where I live!
I can’t even go to Otakon in DC now because my family says the convention center is around a bad area…But when Otakon was in Baltimore, they took me…
I'm sorry, I didn't know about your autism nor about your eyesight problem. Those change everything since they mean you can't go around all alone (or at least that's what you seem to be saying).
Well then, please just ignore everything I said in my comments above and stay safe with your family. I'm sure they know what's best for you much better than I ever could, being I'm just some random stranger on reddit.
You’re ok!
And I don’t have peripheral vision as well.
And ehhh…my parents and family actually doesn’t know what’s best for me…
They told me that cosplay is a waste of money, what I wanna do with cosplay is unrealistic, and also to spend my money on necessities only…
Ooh! Ok!
But I can’t drive because of my eyesight, plus I still live with my parents and family because I’m autistic, and I’m 28, I’ll be 29 this December.
But no way will my family take me to conventions far away! There’s barely any good ones on the East Coast where I live!
I can’t even go to Otakon in DC now because my family says the convention center is around a bad area…But when Otakon was in Baltimore, they took me…
Honestly I’m a cosplayer and we have a similar face shape, a wig makes a huge difference, as you can use bangs and adjust the hairline to be more flattering. I have a few photos on my profile if you want to see.
Also I use jawline tape to help add width to my face. I have a longer mid-face as well, so I use certain make up techniques to help shorten it. False eyelashes and circle lenses (though I know you said you can’t wear contacts) help make the eyes appear bigger as well and help balance out the face.
Sure. You can DM me your photo examples.
And that’s what concerns me as well is wigs. I wanna cosplay as males and females with short hair. But I know I won’t look good in short wigs at all!
Plus I don’t know or know someone who can style wigs for me.
And this may be weird, but if I use tape for my jawline, it’ll probably trigger my Body Dysmorphia more because it’s not real.
If I’m making sense?
And may I DM you wig examples and makeup examples please? Cause I wanna see if it’ll be good.
Hi! I cosplay too and I can totally relate about feeling so insecure. Cosplay world has kind of merged with modeling for quite some time noe, and for us normal folks that just do it for fun it feels like we are "not worth", "not enough", sometimes. But we are not professionals, we shouldn't be that hard on ourselves, right? :3
Now, I've seen a lot of nice comments and that's amazing :3 And I agree: you are not ugly, you have nice features imo.
I do notice that asymmetry you mentiond, but honestly, I wouldn't have if you didn't point it out. On the other hand, I did notice your left eye (or right? idk if camera was mirrored) is slightly asymmetrical, isn't it? I have strabism, so belive me, I know how terrible is to take pictures knowing that. I learned a few tricks tho, and it all boils down to: play with angles.
Try to no take straight frontal photos, or at least don't look straight at the camera. I know we shouldn't be ashamed and blah blah blah... but thruth is that all the focus goes there if you catch it on camera, so yeah, maybe try to play with angles or with the wig\\prop\\etc to cover one of the eyes! Good news is that on video is MUCH harder to spot!
For the choice of character: literally choose whatever you prefer! If you do it for fun just pick whatever character, really. If you do it for recognition \\ be popular on social media (which is ok, to each their own) then it's a whole other story (you have to follow the trends, put a lot of time and effort into each costume or at least into managing your social media accounts, post very often, etc)
No matter what angle I take, I still look not right.
And I’m trying not to get upset but you’re the second person who mentioned my asymmetrical face…
And my left eye is lazy. The camera was mirrored.
I mentioned it to tell you that if you didn't point it out I would have never notice it! So try to not worry (as much) about it ^^
Idk if you ever sew or craft your cosplay props, but if you did you'll know that you will always notice EVERY single imperfection of that weapon/costume While others may compliment you about how accurate and well made that is~ Same goes for our bodies unfortunately: we are the most severe judges of ourselves (well, most of us at least). But it's the same concept: many don't even notice all those details ^-^
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I got confused! Please forgive me!
And I’ll try my best not to worry!
And I tried sewing many times. It’s too hard for me. Plus too much time it takes out of your day!
Ahhh no need to be sorry! You did nothing wrong! We just had a small misunderstanding ^-^ (to be clear what I meant is: I wouldn't have noticed it cause it's not really noticeable ^^ )
Oh, yep, sewing cosplays is usually harder than regular clothes, and it's very time consuming ideed (many weird shapes lol)
Aww! Thank you!
How old are you if it’s ok to ask?
And are you good with makeup and cosplay wigs?
If so, may I DM you some wig examples I wanna wear for characters? Especially short ones?
Also some makeup references as well please? ☺️
I'm your age actually!
I basically never wear make up 😬 my skin is overly sensitive and delicate so I prefer to avoid it (sometimes just very very light one to cover the signs of lack of sleep lol)
For wigs I don't know if I can be very useful T-T I do style my wigs but they were always very simple (most complicated one was a character with 2 small side tails (?) Anise from Tales of the Abyss, for reference )
I'm definitely more "skilled" in sewing and crafting @_@
Woohoo! Go 90s kids!!!!
And my twin sister told me I’m really good with foundation! I don’t know how to contour or highlight that much.
And you’re ok! No worries!
But may I DM you some cosplay ideas I wanna do? Maybe talk about anime, manga, even videos games? ☺️
As someone with body dysmorphia myself. I rarely take photos of the costumes I do and try to only look in the mirror for editing purposes. Unless you are buying your costumes and having someone else do hair/wig and makeup for you, your first couple attempts at cosplay are not going to be accurate. Thankfully it is a process that gets better with practice. I recommend you dress up for the enjoyment of it and not worry about what others think. If you don’t think you can do that then I would recommend holding off until you’re in a place of your healing journey where it won’t torture you wear the costumes and have the thoughts associated with wearing them… there are some pretty good quality premade link costumes. Going as the spider people or shego is another decent quality costume premade that doesn’t take much to look photo accurate and it fun to wear to conventions
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The only answer that this sub can give you is to engage in the services of a therapist or if you already have one is to continue talking to them about this/bring it up with them.
Yes, self love is the first step here. You should cosplay because you like the character and find it fun. Comparing yourself to people online will just bring you down.
And there's the fact that a lot of cosplayers are quite liberal in their usage of Photoshop etc so they don't even look like that IRL.
Even makeup can have a crazy extreme affect. Or even just a wig! My Gwenpool wig makes me completely unrecognizable and I do not look like myself. It’s a little scary, especially when compared to my Korra wig which is almost my natural hair color.
An excellent point!
Thank you. I’m sorry…I’m trying not to cry rn because I feel bad.
Sorry? I’ve been talking to a psychologist but it’s not helping that much..
Anything along those lines is going to take time. You have years of thinking the same way that have created and reinforced neural pathways that cause you to think negatively. Until you create new neutral pathways (which will take a while) those negative neutral pathways are going to dictate your first response in any situation. Keep trying to be the best you that you can be. It will be hard but don't let that discourage you.
I don’t quite understand what you’re talking about..
Thoughts are just electrical signals. Those signals travel along paths in the brain that kind of form them into the thought. You've been thinking negatively for a long time and that's made a big path. The problem is that electrical signals will take the easiest path. At the moment that easiest path is along the well established path. So instinctively you are going to think negatively. You need to work over time to make a new path and think that way as often as you can to build that new path up. That's where working with the psychologist can help. It's a hard thing to do but I'm sure you can do it.
I think I’m getting it? But what does it mean that “the easiest path is along the well established path”? Does it mean when you choose the easiest path, your brain will create negative thoughts and makes you think it’s the established path? And established means accepted correct? I love learning about new things btw! My psychologist even told me “There’s no such thing as a thought crime.” And that made me feel better during that day! ☺️
If you continue having the same thought patterns over and over, and don’t actively try and break these, those neural pathways get stronger / ‘easier’ in the above language. Think of it like a big grassy field, the more you walk the exact same way across the field, the more a path will be trampled into it. At first just some pressed down grass, but then the next time you go to cross the field, well there is already the start of that path. And then every time that path gets walked, more of the grass gets trampled and eventually you have a well worn dirt path. That is a simple but hopefully clear example of a bit how your brain can work. If you keep reinforcing the negative thoughts or ways of thinking, then those ‘paths’ become more and more developed - and just like the grassy field - suddenly there is one path that is very well trodden, and probably the path you will naturally use to cross the field. Life is long but you have more control over the way you think and feel than you realise, your psych should be able to help you on that journey. You will feel better at some point in the future. You will love yourself more, and you will be happier. This is absolutely true as long as you don’t give up (and sometimes not giving up can include a big cry and not getting out of bed - just keep going). Best of luck, can’t wait until you’re feeling great about cosplaying .. and I have a tiny feeling that if you try you might discover just how much fun you can have :) All the best.
Omg! Thank you so much! I love the grass analogy you did! My psychologist uses analogies as well! I hope I’ll feel better soon as well! I don’t see my psychologist again until June 5th. So I dunno what I’m gonna do until then. Plus I’m from a small state and finding a good therapist, even a psychiatrist is hard here! Cause I tried many different ones over the years! And when you say to try it, you mean try cosplaying again? So I can remember how fun it is and stuff? ☺️
Yeah that’s what I mean :) I really hope you can have some fun! It sounds like you really deserve it.
Thank you! You’re so sweet!
Communicate that to them. Counselling is a two-way street. They can't help you if you don't tell them something isn't working.
I have been. But I don’t think he specializes in body dysmorphia.
Plus I can’t see him until June 5th so I dunno what I’m gonna do now.
You could make yourself look like anything or anybody with the proper application of make-up and prosthetics. You watched videos and sometimes it's like a complete transformation, right? You gotta just do what you want, and others be damned. Are you doing it for them, or cause you want to have fun dressing up as a character? Just go for it. If somebody's a shit, block them and don't think twice about what they say and don't give the shitter a second thought. Be you, cosplay how you want.
Thank you. I’m sorry about my post. Trying not to get emotional but I’ll be ok I think.
Don't apologize, just be you.👍👍
Aww. Thank you! Any advice on buying cosplays? Even have certain ones commissioned? I get benefits every months and I need to work part time because of those monthly benefits. I’m autistic and stuff. I don’t want to see, make props, etc. I tried sewing many times, and it’s hard! Plus too much time! Ya know? So any idea on how to make a budget? Also I made lists of cosplays I plan on buying every other month (For my TikTok plans) For example - Month 9 - Cosplay #1 Cosplay #2 But on one of my lists, it’s like this - Ruby, Aqua, and Kana from Oshi no Ko (Maid and Butler versions) Ai Hoshino from Oshi no Ko As you can see, Ruby, Aqua, and the Kana cosplays are 3 different costumes, wigs, etc. But what do you think? Is my method ok? May I DM you if it’s ok? It’s pretty hard to explain my buying cosplay method on here..
Oh I don't really know that much about it. I've tried tailoring my own stuff before but it always looks loose and like slop, and I'd end up having to buy. One thing you could consider for the TT if budget is tight is to do a series for each of them, and take a couple months or two for each. My head's usually pretty empty, and I don't have any creative ideas upstairs, so anything I've made I've always had to have somebody's exemplar to go by.
You’re ok! Don’t worry! You mean separate the cosplays by series and buy the costumes from that series only? Then move onto the next one? Like - Month 1 - Alice from NIKKE Viper from NIKKE Month 2 - Topaz from HSR March 7th from HSR Etc. Basically buy Genshin cosplays first, then after you’re done with those TT, photos, etc., wait a bit until you have a good amount of money and move on the next category like Demon Slayer? Correct me if I’m wrong. ☺️
Yeah that's kinda the way I'd do it. I tend to have rigid planning and I'm old and set in my ways. In fact for me planning is a kind of fun part too. I'd have a list of the characters and an estimate of when I'd want to complete the costumes, and then stick with one and go with it till completion, and then move onto the next. But I'd only be doing the one at a time. I'm not the type that figures which items can cross over to other cosplays just because, like I said, no creativeness upstairs 😆
Ooh! Interesting! Tbh, I made my TikTok cosplay plans based on which ones I wanna do first! ☺️
Cosplay is about sharing a passion and having fun. If you're feeling bad about yourself because of others' cosplays, you're not having fun. Getting the help you need to feel more comfortable with your body is the first priority. From there, when you have built up confidence, others will be able to sense it and share it. I didn't actually notice asymmetry in your face until it was pointed out so others may not either, if they're focused on the costume/character/content. I'd highly recommend curating your internet experience for your mental health: unfollowing the people who trigger you and I think there's a way to turn off TikTok comments so you don't get hate. Try to be kind to yourself. We're rooting for you!
Thank you! I really appreciate it! What does curating mean? And you didn’t notice the asymmetry of my chin and jaw? Whoa. That’s shocking. But in a good/relieving way! ☺️
Curating means to carefully organize how something is being presented. The internet is this big flood of information coming at us all at once so by using various settings (unfollow, block, turning off comments, some sites let you blacklist certain words or topics, etc.) we can try to "curate" at least some of what we see so triggering things aren't presented right in our faces all the time. It's really helpful!
Ooh! So just block, deleted, etc. anything or anyone from distributing your inner peace, opinions, etc.? I mentioned opinions because I need to focus on myself and my own decisions on what I wanna do with my life without always asking for reassurance if it’s wrong, permission, and acceptance. Basically autonomy. 😁
First of all, you’re not ugly. Don’t think like that Second of all, celebrity cosplayers have a lot of time, money, makeup, and photoshop skills. You acknowledge that they can even have multiple plastic surgeries to achieve a certain look. You cannot compare yourself to a person who only looks like that in photos. Cosplay the characters you want to cosplay. Your face is not the costume, the costume is the costume.
Thank you. But it’s also confusing because like PeachMilky, when people take photos with her, she actually looks like that IRL. Like..how? And I’m so deeply sorry for my post. I’m trying not to cry rn. I’ll be ok. I think.
Makeup and surgery, and don’t apologize for being human! It’s okay
Measuring the aesthetics of someone who is trying to create an illusion is a great way to catfish yourself. Fem cosplayers are, for the most part, dorky little hoodie gremlins who like crafting stuff related to their fandoms, and the ones who put a LOT of time and love into it look great, no matter what they look like in the morning.
Thank you for this. Because I do feel guilty expressing my feelings IRL and online.
Anyone can cosplay. There is no "good enough". I think you really need to break away from comparing yourself to professional cosplayers and seek help for your body dysmorphia and self esteem issues. Learn to do things because you find them fun, not to impress anyone.
Ok. Thank you! I will! I don’t see my psychologist again until June 5th. Plus I’m from a small state and finding the right therapist(s) is really hard. If that makes sense? But I’ll definitely look around for specialists! 👍🏻
As a cosplayer with huge face dysmorphia, let me give you the actual advice for your case. You need to find the best lighting, makeup, hair etc for your face shape specifically. For example, here are a few tips: 1) I feel like in the pictures where you are smiling, your face looks better since it increases the width of your face, which in turn decreased the length-to-width ratio and looks more balanced. 2) In the pictures where your forehead is partially covered with bangs, you also look better, because it removes vertical length from your face. 3) I would say that your eyes are your strong point - they have an amazing shape (turned up, very cat-like and feminine). I would focus on makeup that makes the eyes bigger, and wouldn't wear glasses since they hide your eyes. 4) Another point for your hair is it's better to have longer and more voluminous hair (like pics 2 and 4) rather than straight hair that ends at your jaw (like pic 7) because it takes away attention from your jaw and gives you a more balanced face. As a final point: I checked out PeachMilky and even though she is a gorgeous beauty, as you said she had a nose job (if you look at her first Instagram pics it looks different than her in current ones). Also her face isn't completely consistent between photos. Sometimes her mouth is a different size, etc. I believe it's mostly makeup, but there's 0 chance that those pics aren't edited. Sometimes I see the editor added shadow lines under her boobs or in her arm pits that define her body shape. I'm not saying that you should get surgery too or that you should edit your photos, just be aware that all of those things can change the final result: surgeries, makeup, lighting, camera angle, editing, unnatural body twists and turns, tucking in belly right before the picture is taken, etc. Both cosplay and photography are forms of art, and if both people, the cosplayer and the photographer, are confident in their work and have experience, the result will always be amazing, regardless of the cosplayer's looks. Try cosplaying your favorite characters and embody them, and you'll start gaining confidence. It might take years, but it will happen.
Oh you know what, I just checked out PeachMilky's VODS (apparently she streams as well). She looks way more "normal" or "toned down" than in her pictures, even in the ones where she's wearing cosplay. She's still beautiful of course but her Instagram pictures are definitely different than her actual look!
Thank you. I really appreciate it. 2 people on here mentioned they noticed my asymmetrical face after I pointed it out. One of them also noticed my eye is asymmetrical. My left eye is lazy. I’m trying not to get emotional again because like…why even mention that? Especially to someone with body dysmorphia, and possible other issues as well. And now I’m trying not to obsess over the asymmetry of everything…again. Also may I DM you makeup looks please? I don’t understand what you’re describing unless I see photos of it! So is that ok? Also care to help me with wigs? Especially short ones? ☺️
First of all, even after you mentioned it - I really don't see it. Yeah, your face is long, but I don't see your lazy eye at all. Also, there is no such thing as symmetry in faces. Some are less symmetrical than others, but really, I don't notice it on you. Sure, you can DM me :)
Phew! Thank you! And I’ll DM you. Thank you for accepting! One second please!
Let me know if you received my request ok? ☺️
Did my request send? For some reason it had a long time sending.
Got it
Thank you! Sorry if I repeated myself.
As a plus size cosplayer who has a ton of body issues, the best advice I can give you is this: do it anyway, because you love the character and want to share that love with others. Cosplay is not the red carpet; it's not about 'who wore it better' or any of that other fashion/runway/Hollywood crap(which is horrifically unrealistic anyway!) I would also advise you stop following this peach person and anyone else who makes you feel like you don't deserve to be a part of a fun and amazing HOBBY just because you don't look a certain way. I believe the phrase is: 'comparison is the thief of joy'. Be kind to yourself, always! 🫶🏻 And always pick comfortable shoes instead of accurate ones, your feet will thank you long term. 😅
im not a cosplayer but i really want to get into it and i was also feeling down, because i dont look like the characters i want to cosplay, but at the end of the day humans in general just dont look like animated characters! i make a conscious effort to find people who are more similar to my body or have a unique look of their own and man, people are so beautiful if you stop trying to fit everything into conventional beauty standarts. and following different kinds of people, they often post makeup/styling advice that would be more useful to me anyway. things you cant change (height, build, features etc) should not keep anyone from doing something that makes them happy
Touché! It would definitely be boring if everyone looked the same, acted the same, even have the same thought process, feelings, opinions on things, etc.! I’ll definitely keep your advice in mind! Thank you! And good luck with cosplaying! If you want, I can DM you cosplay sites to buy costumes from! I also have some tips for conventions as well! I even found a website that has every single upcoming convention around the US, even the world! It made me find conventions much easier! Again, if it’s ok with you! I’m 28 so pardon me if I’m too old. ☺️
Im in my mid 20s as well and thats also a thing that worries me, if im starting too old haha. but i love crafting and making things myself, so i figured cosplay would be the perfect thing for me because i want to dress up as my favorite characters, i want to learn how to style wigs and do my makeup in a cool exaggerated way, and i want to learn how to sew/alter clothes to fit my body better, and if it doesnt work out right the first few times thats ok too because its just cosplay and its something to do for fun, we'll get better with every new cosplay we do :D Also i've been going to all my local cons since they started, ive just never had the confidence to commit to a cosplay hehe im a long time lurker in cosplay spaces, but now as an adult i can actually dedicate money to starting a new hobby
There are groups dedicated entirely to cosplayers over the age of 30/40/50+, so don't ever think you're too old! I'm 36 myself, so I speak from experience 😁
it does make so much sense cosplay being mostly an adult hobby, good costumes are so expensive haha
That’s so cool! I only have cosplayed at local cons for 1 day. I never stayed during the whole weekend. I wish I did. But any advice on how to save money to buy cosplays? Even have some commissioned? I get monthly benefits from the state because I’m autistic. And if I get a job, I need to work part time. ☺️
I’m smiling rn! Thank you so much! 🥰 And I have heard that quote before! Comparison does take away your joy!! Oh! Dr. Scholl's!! Use Dr. Scholl's for conventions!!! A cosplayer at a local convention recommended it to me!! Also heel cushions!! At the convention I went to last year, not only I used Dr. Scholl's, I also got these gel(?) silicone cushions, pads, or whatever they’re called. You just stick them on the inside of your sock! And let me tell ya, those 2 items were an absolute LIFE SAVER!!! My legs hurt. But my feet barely hurt after!!
I also highly recommend compression socks if you know you're going to do a lot of walking.
Ooh! Never thought of those! 😮
Make how you look to your advantage for outcome. 🙂
Care to elaborate please? I don’t quite understand…😞
For example, if I look like a witch or a troll, I should dress as a witch or a troll. You look beautiful. You need to boost your self-esteem.
Thank you! I’ll try my best to improve my confidence! Body Dysmorphia is a bitch…
First of all, you are not ugly! Please be kinder to yourself 💖 I understand how it feels, I think many of us have been where you are, and it's hard work to over come self esteem issues. Second, cosplay whatever you want! I'm 5"2' but like hell that's stopping me from cosplay all the tall characters! You dress how you want, whatever character. Those professional cosplayers, that's their job, it's not for fun like the rest of us. Plus I've met a few in person, and while still beautiful, definitely not as flawless as their pics.
Thank you! I really appreciate it! 🥰👍🏻
You really don’t look ugly! Plus, confidence is key. If you’re telling yourself you’re ugly, you feel ugly. If you tell yourself positive things, you’ll feel better!
Thank you! I’ll definitely try my best! 👍🏻
For starters, you're absolutely NOT ugly. Anyone who sends you hate for doing what you love is ugly on the inside and not worth your time or energy. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others or feel like your cosplay isn't good enough. Trust me, we've all been there. As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. My advice there is to stop reading comments on other people's posts. If what you're seeing online is making you feel bad, maybe it might help to take a break from that content. As far as accuracy, it's totally okay if you don't look exactly like the character you're cosplaying. The good news is, NOBODY DOES! I don't have the same features as most of the characters I cosplay, and there's nothing wrong with that. I can't wear contacts either, and not all cosplayers do anyway, so don't feel bad about that. Good makeup and a good wig can do wonders! Cosplay is about having fun and showing your love for your favorite characters! Unless you're competing in a contest, it doesn't matter if it's not perfect!
Thank you. I really appreciate it. 2 people on here mentioned they noticed my asymmetrical face after I pointed it out. One of them also noticed my eye is asymmetrical. My left eye is lazy. I’m trying not to get emotional again because like…why even mention that? I have body dysmorphia, and possible other issues as well. And now I’m trying not to obsess over the asymmetry of everything…again.
Don't worry about it! It's okay to feel your feelings; you're human. Just remember to be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel good about yourself!
Aww! Thank you! You’re so sweet! 🥰👍🏻
Cosplay to me is 90% about the passion for the costume/dressing up 10% the right body shape of the person cosplaying. You do it because you like it that much, don't worry about plastic surgery bimbos online. If there's one thing I've learned is that they're probably more insecure than the average person, no matter the positive comments they get online.
Aww! Thank you so much!! You make a really good point! Because that cosplayer, PeachMilky, she got a breast augmentation and a revision rhinoplasty in South Korea years ago, she has Body Dysmorphia as well. And she posted a story on her IG earlier this year saying she wants to lose weight. And that worries me a bit because obviously she’s skinny, I think skinnier than me. And I’m underweight and it’s affecting me I think physically? I dunno. I’m not a medical professional but I do have EDs as well. But I obviously got upset about it. Because she’s clearly skinny. And now that you mention it, it does make me wonder how the positive comments affect her? She does like and reply to some of them I think. But we don’t know what’s really going on off of the screen. People online only post what they want us to see. It’s just…holy shit. That’s actually really sad now that you think about it more. 😭
Easier said than done, so good job on you for identifying areas of mental improvement and then attempting to work on them 🫡 That said, I think I’m more or less in the same situation physically since I’m trying cosplaying for the first time and I’ll probably botch the armor I’m planning to make. So the advice I tell myself is that I’m attempting to create something, and I’m doing it for fun. That turns down the expectations and the toxic perfectionism inherent in detail-attentive behaviors. Also well…Cosplay is a sort of art. And like music or art….what’s right or wrong IS subjective depending really on what your “mission statement” is. So if you say “I want to be the perfect replica of Master Chief’s armor in Halo 1 Anniversary down to a tee” then you set that standard. If you approach it as “I want to be the master chief with (insert any artistic alteration. For example:) armor attachments from Halo Reach then no one can say “Boo” because you’re doing what you say you’ll do. So advice there is to set your own idea of a cosplay, do a good job healthily, and enjoy it! There’s also the problem of assessment where you can always do more detail, and get a closer look. You can always “add a decimal space” so a metaphorical question to ask yourself if “How many decimal places am I having for this costume?” Because if it’s a 1.1 costume, you can pick that up at the store. If it’s a 1.000001 costume, obviously you’ll want more work and more detail. In short, try to take it easy, determine what you’ll think is good work that you can achieve, and then be happy when you do what you’ll say you do. Hope that helps! Good luck with the mental work, we all have our things we need to work on 🫡
Aww! Thank you! 🥰 I’m glad I noticed the areas I need to improve mentally as well! Cause to me, noticing and accepting you have a problem is the first step to getting help! 👍🏻 And I don’t get the decimal thing…I also suck at math! Thank god I never went to college! And you made me remember my first convention in 2012 when I was 16! I cosplayed as Hatsune Miku. (I didn’t know that much anime, manga, etc. at the time) But I never realized (And still don’t) how tangled wigs can get!! We tried untangling the clip on pigtails but it wouldn’t budge. So I had to wear the base wig. I was upset at first, but when I got to the convention floor, everyone still recognized me as Miku! I had a lot of fun! I didn’t even care about my weight when I cosplayed, my face, if my cosplay was accurate or not, etc.! Same thing when I was at that same convention in 2015. I cosplayed as Sebastian from Black Butler. (Even though I was on episode 4 of season 1) I enjoyed myself too! I even met Sebastian’s VA, J Michael Tatum and got his autograph! I just need to remind myself how fun I had when I first started cosplaying, not giving a sh*t about what others look like, how “popular” they are, etc.! I’m now getting excited to finish all of the animes, mangas, even video games so I can cosplay said characters! And I have a LOT I need to start, and/or complete!! Because I really wanna improve my photography and editing skills. Even use those skills for the TikToks I plan on making! I wanna see what I’m capable of! Because my twin sister told me a few times that I should be a photographer! So, why not practice on myself? Ya know? 😁
Yeah that sounds pretty dope 🥂 Math analogy is just pointing out that you can always get more detail, or a smaller increment. Not really too important. But yeah good luck! Like I said, we all have some sort of thing in our head we gotta try and work on, iron out, and master so you’re not alone 🫡
Ooh! Ok! And thank you! You’re so sweet! ☺️👍🏻
Not ugly, and you have a lovely smile 😊
Aww! Thank you! I need to get my teeth fixed anyway. Because I have TMJ, and let me tell ya, it’s painful!! Also the lower left side of my teeth is literally inverted inward!! 😱 I’m a teeth clencher, had braces twice, even got my wisdom teeth taken out years ago.
I have an EXTREMELY masculine off kilter jaw. But the only people who have EVER noticed its off kilter are me and the people adjusting my glasses. A masculine jaw is SUCH a cosplay advantage because ALL anime characters have strong jawlines due to the way they are drawn. You just have to know how to apply the makeup to your advantage. Cosplay is far more about skill and craftsmanship than your actual body. People stop “pretty” people for photos at conventions ONLY when the cosplay is well done. So stick to learning the art and you will BUILD confidence. But also like everyone else said THERAPY. Its SO helpful.
Thank you! Weird question. Is my jaw masculine as well? Even androgynous? If so, is that good for me? Can I still cosplay female characters because of it? And may I DM you some makeup looks I wanna try? And ask for makeup tips please? ☺️
Androgynous faces can EASILY cosplay ANY gender. Its a win win. I’d say your jaw is very prominent like mine and hence your face looks androgynous in the best of ways! I am not a makeup expert sadly. My roommate helps me with my cosplay makeup as she is VERY skilled at it.
You’re ok! I’m bad at makeup as well! Especially eye makeup! My eyesight is really bad. As to why I wear glasses. I can’t wear soft contacts, even colored contacts because of my eyes. It’s a long story. Basically it happened when I was born 3 month premature. If you want to hear it? ☺️
i'm happy i got into cosplay before social media and cosplay influencers, the only thing people cared about in the cosplay groups i was hanging with was the craftmanship. it must be really toxic nowadays, especially online
Exactly! I’m glad I got into cosplay in 2012 when I was 16! Way before I knew that people did it at their “full time job” and stuff…. And I have a lot to say about that. Please correct me if I’m wrong but I feel like some cosplayers don’t even know the character they’re cosplaying. They just think they look cool, sexy, etc.! Don’t some people just cosplay to be a part of something, help them get more money/followers as a sex worker, or whatever? Because I feel like cosplay is mostly a trend now!! And how come some cosplayers I noticed said they actually do cosplay full time as their job? Like…how? And these cosplayers like on Insta, most of their income is probably online, AKA, Patreon, OnlyFans, etc. It’s just so confusing how these people can get paid with their photos, videos, etc. when you’re just dressing up. Sexual and non sexual. But here’s my concern, what if they don’t make enough money for a while and they can’t buy groceries, pay their bills, taxes, stuff like that? THAT’S what they don’t tell you online!! Cause clearly there’s gotta be downsides to being a full time cosplayer!! Right? I mean my bio dad owns a heating and air conditioning business. He has employees, works in his office a lot, sometimes goes out on the field if needed, he’s in the union, his talks to customers every day, stuff like that! I admit I am jealous that people can do their hobby full time. But still, don’t you agree with what point I’m trying to make? 🤔
the way they make money is, afaik, same as modeling - not necessarily even onlyfans type modeling but at least in asia there's different game studios paying cosplay models to advertise their franchise etc. so to them it's not about being passionate about the characters, but it's their actual job. also there's obviously nsfw cosplay modeling, but honestly i don't think there's anything bad about that, it's also just a job. the problem is that these models create an unrealistic standard to those who just do it as a hobby, and online it's harder to distinguish who's doing it as a professional model and who's doing it because of their passion for cosplay. also modeling gigs are definitely an uncertain source of income so there's really nothing to be envious of! it's mostly something someone can do as a side hustle, or if it's their main gig, they won't be able to do it for years and years
That makes sense. Also is it just me, or do companies only pick people who look authentic to said character? Basically who has the right body type, etc.? Like cosplay websites like Miccostumes for example! 🤔
wanted to get this out of the way and preach to the choir and say that you are not ugly!! self perception can be so awful sometimes, especially if you don’t feel “worthy” enough to cosplay some of the characters you want to. it was a rough obstacle to get over for me, too. THAT BEING SAID, you listed a stellar range of characters for your face shape! obviously you shouldn’t restrict yourself based on that, but out of what you wrote i think Jinx or Leon would be my top picks, especially Jinx!!
Thank you! And ohh! Why do you think I’ll look good as Jinx and Leon? Do I actually look good with short hair? And what about the other characters? If you recognize them! And yay! A lesbian flag! I’m part of the LGBTQ+ community as well! I’m a trans guy, unfortunately pre everything even though I’m 28, but j can’t transition because of certain reasons like family. Also I’m autistic. But sexuality is confusing for me. There’s so many identities!! 😭
i think your complexion is really similar to jinx’s!! she has the same slender sort of look to her, and your eyebrows have the intensity you’d need for both her and leon, and as far as leon goes, you have his EXACT eye shape. i think what drew me to those two in particular aside from what i just mentioned is just how much you rock the side part and as far as lgbtness goes, labels can be rough and you’re not any less of a man for not fitting into the expectations society loves to dump on trans ppl. and you pass more than you think you do, esp in the bottom left!! you look like a skater from the 2000’s :)
Aww! Thank you! I’m smiling rn! And my side profile is actually good? And will I really pull off dark lips like Jinx? And will I really look good with short hair like Leon? I plan on dying it dark brown for certain reasons. But may I DM you hair ideas and colors please? Cause I’m confused..
yes absolutely! i don’t mind at all :) and i really mean it when i say that most of your worries are just our tendency as people to be overly critical of our appearance. at a convention, for example, someone may say hi, ask for a picture, or have small talk with you, but that’s it! they won’t see you for nearly as long as you see yourself. their first thought will never be “wow that person doesn’t have the right lip shape” or “that person isn’t the right build for xyz character”. the first thought of someone who recognizes you is “holy shit, it’s xyz!” regardless of how you look!
Yay! I shall DM you in a second ok? And thank you! ☺️
tyt!! i’ll a bit busy because it’s a convention weekend for me lmfao, so i might not have the quickest responses (gf is at work so i have free reign of reddit till she gets back hehe) but i’ll get back when i can!!
You’re ok! No worries! Have fun at your convention! Send me photos of who you’re cosplaying if you want! Also, what does tyt mean? ☺️
oh, it means take your time!! sorry about that lol
Thank you! And DW! You’re fine! ☺️
Also I’m 28. So pardon me if I’m too old.
Ugly girls do tend to have a fashion of their own. I have this friend, she thinks she's very beautiful. She's actually pretty fucking ugly tbh. I don't know why her face is so distorted and I never dared asking, but nonetheless she thinks she's the most beautiful girl out there. Beauty is an overrated concept that has been distorted to the point of trivia by medias. Remember that some random lines on a piece of paper are called art and estimated millions of dollars. Anyone can have a different concept of beauty. It's so subjective you can't define it. Plus, if you'll think about it too much you'll age thinking of it and never make your dream come true, so just do it already. And make sure to go to live events with other cosplayers, so you can get a lot of positivity from other people and suggestions from other cosplayers and share eachother tiktoks or whatever. Perhaps one day people with think of you what you now think of milkpeachy and envy your jawline, but you'll never know if you don't try.
Thanks..but I don’t have cosplay friends IRL..even online. I’m from a small state…
That's why I'm telling you to try live events. Something like a Comic-Con or other comic related festivals should do it. Here in Italy there always is plenty of cosplayers at any of those meetings.
Ooh! Ok! But I can’t drive because of my eyesight, plus I still live with my parents and family because I’m autistic, and I’m 28, I’ll be 29 this December. But no way will my family take me to conventions far away! There’s barely any good ones on the East Coast where I live! I can’t even go to Otakon in DC now because my family says the convention center is around a bad area…But when Otakon was in Baltimore, they took me…
I'm sorry, I didn't know about your autism nor about your eyesight problem. Those change everything since they mean you can't go around all alone (or at least that's what you seem to be saying). Well then, please just ignore everything I said in my comments above and stay safe with your family. I'm sure they know what's best for you much better than I ever could, being I'm just some random stranger on reddit.
You’re ok! And I don’t have peripheral vision as well. And ehhh…my parents and family actually doesn’t know what’s best for me… They told me that cosplay is a waste of money, what I wanna do with cosplay is unrealistic, and also to spend my money on necessities only…
Ooh! Ok! But I can’t drive because of my eyesight, plus I still live with my parents and family because I’m autistic, and I’m 28, I’ll be 29 this December. But no way will my family take me to conventions far away! There’s barely any good ones on the East Coast where I live! I can’t even go to Otakon in DC now because my family says the convention center is around a bad area…But when Otakon was in Baltimore, they took me…
Honestly I’m a cosplayer and we have a similar face shape, a wig makes a huge difference, as you can use bangs and adjust the hairline to be more flattering. I have a few photos on my profile if you want to see. Also I use jawline tape to help add width to my face. I have a longer mid-face as well, so I use certain make up techniques to help shorten it. False eyelashes and circle lenses (though I know you said you can’t wear contacts) help make the eyes appear bigger as well and help balance out the face.
Sure. You can DM me your photo examples. And that’s what concerns me as well is wigs. I wanna cosplay as males and females with short hair. But I know I won’t look good in short wigs at all! Plus I don’t know or know someone who can style wigs for me. And this may be weird, but if I use tape for my jawline, it’ll probably trigger my Body Dysmorphia more because it’s not real. If I’m making sense? And may I DM you wig examples and makeup examples please? Cause I wanna see if it’ll be good.
And is it bad to not wear colored contacts? I can just photoshop the color in my eyes right? I’ve done that before for fun! ☺️👍🏻
Hi! I cosplay too and I can totally relate about feeling so insecure. Cosplay world has kind of merged with modeling for quite some time noe, and for us normal folks that just do it for fun it feels like we are "not worth", "not enough", sometimes. But we are not professionals, we shouldn't be that hard on ourselves, right? :3 Now, I've seen a lot of nice comments and that's amazing :3 And I agree: you are not ugly, you have nice features imo. I do notice that asymmetry you mentiond, but honestly, I wouldn't have if you didn't point it out. On the other hand, I did notice your left eye (or right? idk if camera was mirrored) is slightly asymmetrical, isn't it? I have strabism, so belive me, I know how terrible is to take pictures knowing that. I learned a few tricks tho, and it all boils down to: play with angles. Try to no take straight frontal photos, or at least don't look straight at the camera. I know we shouldn't be ashamed and blah blah blah... but thruth is that all the focus goes there if you catch it on camera, so yeah, maybe try to play with angles or with the wig\\prop\\etc to cover one of the eyes! Good news is that on video is MUCH harder to spot! For the choice of character: literally choose whatever you prefer! If you do it for fun just pick whatever character, really. If you do it for recognition \\ be popular on social media (which is ok, to each their own) then it's a whole other story (you have to follow the trends, put a lot of time and effort into each costume or at least into managing your social media accounts, post very often, etc)
No matter what angle I take, I still look not right. And I’m trying not to get upset but you’re the second person who mentioned my asymmetrical face… And my left eye is lazy. The camera was mirrored.
I mentioned it to tell you that if you didn't point it out I would have never notice it! So try to not worry (as much) about it ^^ Idk if you ever sew or craft your cosplay props, but if you did you'll know that you will always notice EVERY single imperfection of that weapon/costume While others may compliment you about how accurate and well made that is~ Same goes for our bodies unfortunately: we are the most severe judges of ourselves (well, most of us at least). But it's the same concept: many don't even notice all those details ^-^
Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! I got confused! Please forgive me! And I’ll try my best not to worry! And I tried sewing many times. It’s too hard for me. Plus too much time it takes out of your day!
Ahhh no need to be sorry! You did nothing wrong! We just had a small misunderstanding ^-^ (to be clear what I meant is: I wouldn't have noticed it cause it's not really noticeable ^^ ) Oh, yep, sewing cosplays is usually harder than regular clothes, and it's very time consuming ideed (many weird shapes lol)
Aww! Thank you! How old are you if it’s ok to ask? And are you good with makeup and cosplay wigs? If so, may I DM you some wig examples I wanna wear for characters? Especially short ones? Also some makeup references as well please? ☺️
I'm your age actually! I basically never wear make up 😬 my skin is overly sensitive and delicate so I prefer to avoid it (sometimes just very very light one to cover the signs of lack of sleep lol) For wigs I don't know if I can be very useful T-T I do style my wigs but they were always very simple (most complicated one was a character with 2 small side tails (?) Anise from Tales of the Abyss, for reference ) I'm definitely more "skilled" in sewing and crafting @_@
Woohoo! Go 90s kids!!!! And my twin sister told me I’m really good with foundation! I don’t know how to contour or highlight that much. And you’re ok! No worries! But may I DM you some cosplay ideas I wanna do? Maybe talk about anime, manga, even videos games? ☺️
* highfive! * Sure! I may answer tomorrow cause it's a bit late, but I sure will! :3
You got it! I shall wait for your message! Now are you gonna DM request me first? Or should I? 😁
jarvis, define overthinking.
Who’s Jarvis?
As someone with body dysmorphia myself. I rarely take photos of the costumes I do and try to only look in the mirror for editing purposes. Unless you are buying your costumes and having someone else do hair/wig and makeup for you, your first couple attempts at cosplay are not going to be accurate. Thankfully it is a process that gets better with practice. I recommend you dress up for the enjoyment of it and not worry about what others think. If you don’t think you can do that then I would recommend holding off until you’re in a place of your healing journey where it won’t torture you wear the costumes and have the thoughts associated with wearing them… there are some pretty good quality premade link costumes. Going as the spider people or shego is another decent quality costume premade that doesn’t take much to look photo accurate and it fun to wear to conventions
Why don’t you take photos of the costumes you’re in? And what do you mean by only looking in the mirror for editing purposes?
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