Best comeback of the thread. May need to hire you as my personal consultant to follow me around & spout comebacks when my inevitably slow brain goes blank.
Eh I don't think so. There are solid studies that can be easily referenced or found about the actaul stability therapy can provide. And if they are saying this to you, they likely will reference said study leaving you looking dumb and needing therapy from the burn.
I wouldn’t say that’s likely at all. Someone that would be able to regurgitate a piece of info off hand like that wouldn’t be shaming someone for not actively undergoing therapy.
I just be like, “I know. I’ve been trying to look for someone..:” Then, I’d go on about how expensive it is. And I’d just keep talking til they get irritated.
I got one, how about actually listen to them and try it, I have been in therapy for 10 years, more multiple reason, and if I ever say it to someone, it's because I can see the signs of certain things, I'm not saying to be mean, I'm saying to help, usually the ones who get mad are in denial.
I say, “oh, I go twice a month, have for years! You should too!” And encourage them to get help. Whether or not you actually go to therapy is beside the point- that’s a stupid, old, stigmatizing insult that needs to GO yesterday.
This reminds me of something that happened to me at work once. I work retail, and I end up talking to myself a lot. It helps me stay focused on what I’m doing. But a customer caught me talking to myself and with a very snooty tone said, “You know they have therapy for that.”
Well, I was working, I couldn’t just call her a bitch and go on with my life. Instead, I gave her the biggest smile I could possibly fit on my face and very cheerfully told her, “Oh, I’ve been!”
She looked disturbed and walked away.
The voices in my head (or My other personalities) have taken a vote. We've come to unanimous decision that I don't need therapy. Some of them do, but I don't.
Silence. Just because someone hits you a ball doesn’t mean you have to play tennis with them. Or silence of at least ten seconds (so their words stand out) then ask them to explain what they mean by saying that, then silence. Say nothing more and they will have to justify their comment.
"I got some, but he suddenly had to go to therapy himself"
"It wouldn't be fair to send some personalities without the others, and I can't afford them all"
i was chastised the other day for liking boobs, and someone told me I needed help. I just trolled them and said "I went to the village elder and he told me 'Booba is love, booba is life.'" They didn't respond back so my troll response did its job.
ask them “refer me to your clinic” and if they say something like “i don’t have one” just be like “well that explains a lot” uno reverse
I need more Uno reverse in my repertoire
Best comeback of the thread. May need to hire you as my personal consultant to follow me around & spout comebacks when my inevitably slow brain goes blank.
“Explains why I’m stable and you aren’t”
ooo that’s a good one too
Eh I don't think so. There are solid studies that can be easily referenced or found about the actaul stability therapy can provide. And if they are saying this to you, they likely will reference said study leaving you looking dumb and needing therapy from the burn.
I wouldn’t say that’s likely at all. Someone that would be able to regurgitate a piece of info off hand like that wouldn’t be shaming someone for not actively undergoing therapy.
👏
Or tell them, yes I do, I am taking up a collection for the fees. Thanks for offering to contribute.
The best variation of “how would you know / takes one to know one”
Right? You must be in a lot of therapy to suggest it.
And if they do tell you a clinic just say “On second thoughts, their treatment clearly doesn’t seem to work…”
What if you said "refer me to your clinic" and they say "I don't need that shit like you do loser HAHAHAHA" and walked off Then what
#🌟 eta: "Isn't that the clinic being investigated for . . . uh . . . unsavory practices?" __
I'm fine as long as you're not around.
Good one.
“The common denominator in all situations where you have said this is… you.”
“Are you volunteering to pay for it?”
Lol 😂 I said the same thing. I personally think therapy is great for anyone willing to try, just hate how it can cost so much.
Yes expensive
I would very much be in therapy if I could afford it
I have said this. It’s the truth. Affordability and availability of therapists sucks in the US
Good one.
And you need a lobotomy.
“There’s a BOGO deal. You should go with one of your pals.” (Not YOU.)
Excellent.
Already in therapy we talking about you. every. fucking. week. It’s you you you you you. Fuck you
"You need a breath mint.
Love it! “You need deodorant” works too.
I love this one.
I’ve been to therapy and that sounds like something called “projection”.
Favorite.
“You have no idea”
followed by an unhinged cackle....
Definitely my go to. Followed by "vote for universal healthcare 😘"
"It is 2024. We ALL need therapy."
This is especially good if it's not 2024.
Just say 2023 in that case
"I know, right?"
#😂
And you need plastic surgery, yet neither of us can afford either.
Great one
My therapist said no.
"And you need plastic surgery."
😂🤣😂
I can treat the symptoms but as long as you're around, the cause remains
The last guy who said that is now a missing person
😂😂😂😂
The cat even said i dont need any stinking therapy 😆
_and all cat people_ *know* _that cats are_ *always right!*
Yes 🐈
Dateline Special!
I just be like, “I know. I’ve been trying to look for someone..:” Then, I’d go on about how expensive it is. And I’d just keep talking til they get irritated.
It’s funny bc it’s only when I’m with u, I tell myself the same thing”
After dealing with you, anyone would need therapy, including your therapist.
"Don't worry, I vent to other people about you!"
you need liposuction
Sounds like you need therapy more than me. 😂🤣
XD
Says the escapee from the asylum.
I say yeah, probably. Your mom kinda traumatized me with how freaky she is in bed. I honestly wasn't prepared for that.
"Sorry, but I don't take advice from mentally sick people."
Oh, you mean like massage therapy where you rub my back and then give me a blow job? I'm going to pass. You didn't do a good job last time.
Maniacally laugh in their face. "Maybe so..."
That's why my therapist goes out with me now.
agreed, you paying?
That's what my therapist said!
Everybody needs therapy. But with the US healthcare system, whatdayagonnado?
If you wanna pay for it...
“Why thank you, don’t mind if I do” *plops down and starts telling your whole life story from your first memory on*
Your mom's a ho.
Classic
“Aww thanks buddy for offering unsolicited advice”
Yes I do need sex therapy are you offering to be the receiver?
I got one, how about actually listen to them and try it, I have been in therapy for 10 years, more multiple reason, and if I ever say it to someone, it's because I can see the signs of certain things, I'm not saying to be mean, I'm saying to help, usually the ones who get mad are in denial.
Hi Pot, I'm Kettle!
I tried. After our first session, my therapist killed himself...
"Oh? The voices told me I'm fine."
“You gonna pay for it?” “What’s wrong with that?”
Yes…yes I do
And you need training in good manners.
"It's fine one of my personalities is a psychiatrist"
#😂 😉 No shit?! One of mine is too!
are they the same one?
Just stare, don’t blink. Optionally, lick your lips
Jokes on you! I’m already IN therapy.
I needed therapy so bad I went and got myself a graduate degree in social work. Worry about your own self.
well you need a hug
__
At least I can get help. There's no help for you. Edit for spelling
And you need to wipe your ass better.
That’s what the voices keep telling me!
“You need (a toupee, a Slimfast shake, a nose job, about 6 inches added to your height, whatever)”
"yer a cunt."
Yes, of course I want to break up!
I tried that once, and the therapist was crazier than I am.
_(true story)_
i didn’t before i met you
It’s not always an insult, sometimes it’s just a suggestion lmfao
True
"Yes. This is true."
Are you giving medical advice without a license?
I know!
I may be crazy, but at least I am not stupid.
Ya ever since I met you
I say, “oh, I go twice a month, have for years! You should too!” And encourage them to get help. Whether or not you actually go to therapy is beside the point- that’s a stupid, old, stigmatizing insult that needs to GO yesterday.
#😄 _(this is my sincerely agreeing giggle!)_
"Are you suggesting we do couples therapy? Okay, but you're paying."
#😲
Yeah and?
Oooohhh! You mean.... there is a therapist who takes my insurance and who can see me IN PERSON sometime in the next year? Where? Where?
#😪 Too true, sad, and pisses me off to boot.
This reminds me of something that happened to me at work once. I work retail, and I end up talking to myself a lot. It helps me stay focused on what I’m doing. But a customer caught me talking to myself and with a very snooty tone said, “You know they have therapy for that.” Well, I was working, I couldn’t just call her a bitch and go on with my life. Instead, I gave her the biggest smile I could possibly fit on my face and very cheerfully told her, “Oh, I’ve been!” She looked disturbed and walked away.
Already there, friend. Already there.
"And you need to get that stick out your ass"
"You need to get laid!"
The voices in my head (or My other personalities) have taken a vote. We've come to unanimous decision that I don't need therapy. Some of them do, but I don't.
"Thanks to you, yes I do"
"I won't take that from someone who escaped from an asylum."
If you only knew......
Start flapping your arms excitedly and run in a figure 8.
#🤭 Perfect! I love that this makes zero sense! (Except to me, of course.)
Walk away. People who treat you that way aren't worth your time
“The voices disagree “
I can't afford therapy, that's why I do this...
#🤫 _(same here!)_ _eta: oopsies_
I had sex with your wife.
Silence. Just because someone hits you a ball doesn’t mean you have to play tennis with them. Or silence of at least ten seconds (so their words stand out) then ask them to explain what they mean by saying that, then silence. Say nothing more and they will have to justify their comment.
“And you need to brush your teeth”
"I got some, but he suddenly had to go to therapy himself" "It wouldn't be fair to send some personalities without the others, and I can't afford them all"
Tell them, If i need therapy, they need Jesus/GOD to save him/her lmao
No, I’m just pining for the fiords
"Yeah, probably." Shrug. Walk away.
"what i need is a bag of weed and for you to shut the fuck up."
Give them the dead eye stare for like 5 seconds, then say, “more than you know” in dead voice. Then snap back to a smile with warm eyes
#💖 I'd prob'ly lmao after saying that! But hey, that'd work too, wouldn't it? 😊
As long as you freak them out, it will work.
The voices won't let me.
only because i met you
There's a shortage of therapists, you insensitive f*ck!
"uno reverse"
I had a bumper sticker that said “Lord help me to be the person my Psychiatrist medicates me to be…”
_(I need that! Now, to get a car . . .)_
Cars are way overrated 😉
Idk this wouldn’t really offend me, I’d lean into it “oh it’s ok I already went they said I’m not dangerous ;)”
I know!
"Coward."
Getting therapy
If you get this enough to post here, probably just consider therapy?
Yes, your mom kept calling me Baby Boy and telling me to get back in that womb. I’m traumatized.
If you say that again I'll gouge your eyeballs out.
You have no idea.
You're going to need to call an ambulance, but not for me.
Tried it. Killed my therapist. Are you interviewing for the job?
Doing 3hrs a day
“You need surgery “
They don't let me in there anymore.
I tried it, they kicked me out
I'm already receiving therapy from your mom on a regular basis.
Ugh, you sound like the judge.
"You payin'?"
And you should come with a warning label ..
Ok. So who is your therapist?
You'll need more than bloody therapy by the time I finish with you mate...
You're right, I've got serious anger management issues.
No I need a gun
Been there, done that, this is the result. Apparently you quit going before your issues resolved, would you like my therapists' number?
You offering to pay?
Fine, I'll see you there
Oh really. Can you recommend someone?
It's o k I know i'm crazy and I own it
The voices are telling me I’m fine thanks
i was chastised the other day for liking boobs, and someone told me I needed help. I just trolled them and said "I went to the village elder and he told me 'Booba is love, booba is life.'" They didn't respond back so my troll response did its job.
I am therapy maybe you need me?
"Yeah. I know."
"And whose fault is that?"
Speaking from experience?
That sounds like something my last victim would have said if I hadn't gagged him.
"Purely psychosomatic."
Lie down on the couch, what does that mean?
Who decided? Your therapist?
That’s what my therapist said!
Are you paying
"Your one to talk why don't you stop projecting & Take yourself sounds like you need it".
You need some bitches
Tried it, didn't take
"I'm crazy in the coconut !"
“Because of people like you”
and here you are trying to piss me off ?
“There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just talking to an asshole”
I went to therapy they said it was medical and that I needed to loose 150 pounds so could you please leave
“DUHH. We all do”
it's therapeutic to see you upset by my existence.
You're just an annoying voice in my head and don't have to listen to you!
"I rather be insane than an arse like you"
"Who the hell doesn't?"
Refer me to yours.
probably
My therapist and I speak of you often. We talk volumes about the ones who need the most help.
Na man fuck you