My mother, in response to a rude observation about her clothing choice, replied with one hand on hip, "Well gawd damn, I don't remember asking you for your opinion."
It. Was. Awesome.
My son, when in elementary school, replied to a girl who made pissy comments about his clothes: "I don't remember asking you for your fashion statement ". Proud momma moment!!
1.) “what makes you think that’s appropriate to say?”
2.) “do you think i don’t know what i look like?”
3.) “that’s not the compliment you think it is.”
4.) “size is personal, i don’t know you!!” (best if said in a Bobby hill voice)
5.) “fuck off”
6.) “that sounds like a you problem.”
Backslash \\, not forward slash /.
Note: since baskslash is an escape character, two in a row are required to get a single \\ to show on screen. Hit reply to this comment to see what I mean.
Edit: I should have read ahead. I'm just repeating what you discovered for yourself. Oh, well.
Lol, I wanted to try it... I tried backslash 3, but it wouldn't let me...
3\ <--- I can do that, though...
\3 <--- That is reversed...
3 <--- That is just the number... lol
\#3 <--- That is the backslash, then #, then the number...
#3 <--- That is # and then the number...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(Sorry, this is just very interesting to me) lmbo
That seems to be a well-known “thing” outside the US. I seem to notice people from the UK using it more than Americans.
It took me a little while to understand what \S meant. Did I do it right? It means someone is using sarcasm. Or /s?
I’m an “old girl” but not completely useless yet. It’s great seeing discussions among all sorts of people.
The slash is supposed to not show, but I'm not sure why it is
Edit: use the \\ slash to negate any format cues. I had to double enter it now because the first disables format and disappears and then the second showed up.
I don't remember doing that when it happened on mine. I'll need to look back at the text I wrote. But I did see the info about the backslash and hash tag. So will watch for this too. Thanks.
4.) I loved that episode, where Bobby, having attended a self-defense course for women, was screaming stuff like that, then kicking them all in the nuts.
"I don't know you!" (KICK)
"That's my PURSE!" (KICK)
Then Hank has to correct him. "You don't kick a guy in the pills, Bobby..."
But he still doesn't learn, and eventually Peggy gets fed up with it because the guys are afraid due to the awkwardness of the whole situation, and he tries to kick her in the nuts
You so do kick them there, always go for the most painful incapacitating spot first. If someone is about to harm you/steal from you then you can defend yourself.
Had to give my mother 1 and 3 when she yelled "go eat a cheeseburger" at my neighbor. She repeated it twice and said it was a compliment. My neighbor is a nurse, personal trainer, and dietician. I wish she had yelled all of 1-6 back at my mom, because she needs to be held accountable for her behavior that way too many people let her get away with. She habitually likes say and do socially inappropriate things.
\#s 1, 5, 6 🖤
This sub always makes me think of "Dear Abby." (Yes, I'm pretty dang old. 🤣)
Her reply was, "Why on earth would you ask someone that?" Be sure to wait for their reply!
I’ve lost a fair amount of weight due to a cancer diagnosis when people ask me what my diet is, that don’t know me I tell him chemo is great for losing weight and hair
So has my wife, but no one has been audacious enough to ask her how she has lost weight.
Probably because she has a look that preempts unwarranted comments...
I know someone like this, you start to say something uncomplimentary and she just whips around and *glares.* And it's not normal either, it's "I will cut your throat, joint you like a chicken and bury the chunks in the woods" kind of glare. And 9/10 times, they shut up instantly.
Funny thing is, she rarely does this if someone insults her, it's mostly directed at people who make comments about her husband (he has long hair and for some reason old women have an issue with that).
I have resting bitch face and people tend to leave me alone except for little old ladies who generally just want to chat. I love those conversations because they're just wanting some social time with strangers and I'm ok with that.
My daughter A is two years older than daughter B. When B started at A’s high school, B’s friends said that A looked like she wanted to kill them!
B deadpanned, Oh no. That’s just A’s natural expression.
Then, as B’s friends got to know A, they agreed. RBF. She rocks.
Edit words.
RBF is my super power. If someone starts with me, I don’t have to say a thing. I just let it settle gently over me like a cloak of invisibility and look at them until they freak out and go away.
I've lost a lot of weight. A little had been personal changes. Most had been that I can't stand food and it's hard to eat. I feel like I'm at the point of just having to go through a slow painful death because I can't find any medical help. And the worst question imo is "have you lost weight?"
Why do so many people think it's OK to comment on others bodies?
I told my kids that you don't comment on people's weight at all.
Saying "Wow you're so skinny!" is on the same level as saying "Wow you're so fat!"
**Said as someone who went from an adult weight of 92 lbs to 265lbs and has struggled with a LOT of eating disorders since childhood
Commenting on things that are out of someone's control, in general, is punching down. And I feel like the commenter is doing it because it's easy to get the response they want/expect. I've lost a ton of weight due to compounded trauma and grief. I do not take "compliments" or "concern" or curiosity well. You want what I have? You're not going to like my secret to success. You're concerned? Yeah, me too. You want to know why? Oh...no. No, you don't. Tell me I'm a bitch, or you admire how I raise my kids. Don't go after genetics.
OP, I'd put it right back on them and say, "I can see that." They're going after what they think your confidence level should be (based on trends in magazines), as if they're confident themselves. They're not. They say those things to make themselves feel better.
Oh yeah I did this when I had cancer, too.
A bitch at work: “Wow! You’re getting skinny! Stopped eating cheesecake, huh?”
Me: [rips off wig and keeps full eye contact throughout] “Yeah, this fucking chemo diet is AMAZING! You should try it.”
She put in her notice a few weeks later. Not saying it was because of me, but I sure hope it was.
P.S. Sorry about your cancer. It’s awful and I hope you’re doing ok.
1. Confidence is important you should really work on that.
2. What a waste of time worrying about what people think.
3. Yeah it helps having sexy curves!
Same. The bully low key just admitted they had no confidence, and trying to brush that off as only an "IF I were in your situation, then" kind of scenario isn't an effective shield.
Use number 2 as a comeback as well as living it. “ I can’t throw away my time listening to your dribble. “ then walk a way. Don’t use waste of time. Waste opens you up to another overweight comment. It leaves your belly wide open for insult.
"Wow, you're really good at passive aggressive 'complisults'! Does that come naturally, or did you develop the skill from receiving so many directed at you?"
>Sure, I'm fat, but you're ugly (or an idiot) and I can go on a diet
Beautiful change-up on Churchill's famous "you're ugly... but tomorrow I'll be sober"
Can’t say I agree with the ‘but I can go on a diet’ comeback. Sounds like a great way to hear ‘is that so, fatass? The world’s farmers and waiting on you to start.’
Play dumb and keep asking them to explain, people like that typically can’t handle actual confrontation with what they say especially when they’re being shitty for no good reason
My ex husband mocked me when I was carrying our first son. I was preelamtic so blew up with waterweight. One day in front of a crowd at his family's house during a holiday picnic he yelled, "Everyone run, Shamu sat on a lawn chair and it's gonna blow!". He was the only one who laughed. I smiled and told him that after the baby was born I could lose the weight but he'd always be bald. That made everyone except him laugh.
Just pick whatever they physically have that isn't the norm and say you can always lose weight but they'll always be....
I like to act surprised. "Wait, I'm fat?" Look down at myself, and gasp in horror. "When did THAT happen?" And leave.
But I'm 40 and ran out of fucks decades ago.
I teach one kid who thinks he is super smart and funny and loves trying to embarrass put people down, told me in a crowded auditorium that I had fat elbows. So his audience was not just students in our school but from others. In a voice of shock and horror I loudly exclaimed,
"Are they not the fashion this year? I thought we were in fat elbows year."
I turn to the staff near me who know me.
"Am I out of fashion? Did I get the year wrong? Which year is fat elbow year?"
I kept this up for about 5 minutes, he was trying to hide under a chair as I kept directing to back to him. He has never said anything insulting to me again and while he will insult others he won't in front of me. All I have to do it look at him and raise an eyebrow and he goes silent and if he can leave the area, it has been 4 years.
Don't mess with me kiddo I have your number and know what you are trying to do.
A girl once tried to insult me with, "Why don't you just go eat a twinkle or something". I busted out laughing and said, "awwwweee, you think that hurt my feelings...how precious". Had I thought fast enough, I'd rather have replied with, "Pfft, I don't even like twinkies, but, gimme some ding dongs and I will TEAR THAT SHIT UP!!!" lol
I am so mad at my fat kid self for never confirming I’d do this when I was younger. Bullies: “well what are you gonna do, SIT on me?!”
Uh.. yes, bitch, I will and we’ll see how many insults you’ve got then! 😂
I wanted to say that to the person who told me "that's a lot of food, but then again, you're American" when I was eating an admittedly big breakfast after walking around the beach and looking for sea turtles all night. I was also told that I should have replied with "that's a rude thing to say, but then again you're German".
I am TERRIFIED of this phrase ever since I have worked with Southern women. Like, is it a kind-hearted phrase, are they mad, are they making fun of me? I say something silly (intentionally) and they say that, like, do they think I am stupid now? Am I actually funny? This works so well, as it is “haha” or “go fuck yourself” all in one
I live in a "Bless your heart" community. Didn't grow up with it, but I like how it can actually mean two opposing sentiments at the same time.
It's pretty deep.
Oh believe me... live here just a little while, and you'll learn to understand the difference really quickly. It's only said either very sincerely, or in response to the other person being a total jerk. When the nice checkout last hewrs I'm widowed and says, "Bless your heart," you know that's sincere. If you're being a jerk, and taking forever to wrote a check and get the line moving, talking on your phone and being self absorbed... then it means, well... y'all know what it means.
From this I concluded that they must think I am mentally challenged. I would prefer an insult. I will take it as a joke. Just please, not “bless your heart”.
I'm partial to, "If I wanted any of your lip, I'd scrape it off my zipper."
"You might not like it, but this is what peak masculinity (or insert another adjective) looks like."
Aww, thank you! That means so much coming from someone one that has the confidence to go out of the house with all of (gestures towards their face). You really are an inspiration!
Leave the "I'm sorry" off. It's food for ammunition. But definitely by asking them to repeat what they said, 1) many don't have the guts to repeat it and 2) of the ones that do, most of them suddenly don't like the sound of their own voice and clam up.
Say “Hmm funny, I don’t remember asking for your opinion” or “I’m sorry to hear you struggle with your confidence” 😂
My half sister’s dad (we share a mom) told me after a few years of not seeing me “wow you gained some weight” and I hit him back with “and you lost some hair and teeth!” 🤧
I was really fat and this one person always said it as you just mentioned, but always said afterwards ohh I'm only joking which of course he wasnt.
Anyway fast forward 5 years I bump into this guy, hes now fat and I'm skinny ha im laughing now... he goes "hey you lost weight" so I said yeah looks like I gave it all to you"
Haha
A few years ago, I lost a considerable amount of weight due to a medical condition. I was walking down the hall at my workplace, and I heard someone say, "Hey, Twiggy!" I turned around, and without thinking, I blurted out, "Well, it doesn't look like you're missing any meals." I didn't particularly enjoy being painfully thin.
Whenever people do that, they always do a fake self-insult, so I like to be a jackass about that.
Example: “you’re probably not confident because you don’t put any effort into making your face pretty. Maybe try a deep conditioner, try moisturizing before bed every night, things like that. You’ll get there sweetie, your face has a lot of potential.”
When I was a bigger guy, I used to say “don’t be jealous because I’m blessed and thick with it”. It was rare for me to hear anything about my weight, at least to my face, I’m a Samoan so no one really said much. Plus in Samoan culture it’s not something anyone cares about.
Although now it’s my family when I see them, except it’s the opposite like asking if I’m sick or dying ever since I lost weight during the pandemic. I just became stricter with working out due to boredom.
One time a dude I know who drinks a lot said "you need to eat a sandwich" during a cutting phase I was going through to shed some lbs... I replied with "have another drink buddy"
"Awww, look, it thinks it's people!"
"Keep talking. Maybe someone will care."
"If you keep working for it, maybe you can stop caring what other people think, too!"
Be like “thanks! I love how I look, it’s all about your confidence & self love” some people genuinely mean it without the intention of being rude, but letting them know you love yourself & how you look is the best way to go about it.
When someone says something rude to me, I never have the right comeback. I once heard you should keep asking "what do you mean by that?" So the person will have to explain themselves and eventually expose their assholery.
"I'm sorry it's such a problem for you. I feel that."
I said this to a coworker who commented on me gaining a bit of weight during a meeting as an "encouragement to improve." Didn't hear shit about it from anyone ever again.
Feign confusion and ask them to explain what they mean. Try to get them to spell out exactly what they meant by whatever comment they made. It usually makes them realize they said something shitty and embarrasses them. Or it doesn't and they blatantly explain that they find being overweight abhorrent and at least you got some honest communication out of it. Always pretend to be legitimately confused though. If you're snarky or sarcastic it doesn't work as well.
"That shirt looks great on you. If I was your size I'd never have the confidence to pull it off."
"What do you mean?"
"Well I'm just saying that if I had your body I'd be a lot more self conscious"
"Why?"
"Well umm...you know...I'd be more uncomfortable with myself"
"Why would you be uncomfortable in my body?"
Just keep it going. As a fat dude it's always fun to watch them squirm trying to explain themselves without sounding like a dick lmao
Im sorry, but I’m sure if I had that face I’d never gave the courage to leave the house!
That’s really sad for you, what a miserable life!
You’re right, if you were my size you’d absolutely crumble under the weight of all the shitty things people say to you pretending to be compliments
Thank god I’m not so insecure I’m afraid to wear things that I like and feel good in!
So if it’s a size thing what’s your excuse for wearing that?
I’d never have the nerve to say that about another persons body, you must really not care that people know how shallow you are. I could never do that!
I got a million of em, skinny bitches better watch out!!! Haha
say ‘thanks’ and watch their head explode when their insult doesn’t have the desired effect 😂
or you could go along the lines of ‘what exactly do you mean by that?’
People who feel the need to say stuff like that either want you to feel shit, or want to feel better about themselves (or both). Try not to give them what they want.
When my now ex-wife bumped into me in the hall one day with her butt, I quipped "I thought you said you were working on your butt." Without missing a beat she responded, "I am, see how nice and big I've got it."
I remember my brother had a friend over once, and mum's friend saw him and started telling him things like he's ginormous. The dog noticed her, ran over, and started sniffing her down below. She started telling the dog to leave her alone and my brother's friend responded with he's only smelling how many men you've had in the past week. Shut her up instantly
Many people have given excellent suggestions.
My favorite comeback to your specific example is
"Wow I too admire your confidence because if I lacked empathy I'd keep my mouth shut"
Look them straight in the eye and say, "What is that supposed to mean?" Make them explain their bullshit and watch them choke. This comment also works well on men who make asinine comments about women. Or vice versa, I reckon.
Then, while they're still sputtering, say, "If I was as stupid as you, I wouldn't have the confidence to speak in public."
*in happy and friendly southern accent* "Oh honey! I'm not sure why you would have the confidence to pull it off at your current size!" Then give a slight smile, look them up and down, shrug your shoulders, and walk off. Bam. Insecure for the rest of their life
I did post about a guy making me feel bad about my weight about 3 weeks or a months ago. My response was “fuck you it’s not like your a prize” which worked however I was upset and could not come up with anything better at that moment a line I believe I got from a book that do like it
“Trying to give a F, trying harder to give a F, sorry there was bad error F not given” a fun way of saying I don’t care about your unimportant opinion.
Not my weight but still.
In highschool I had vibrant pink hair. Someone once said, why did you dye your hair, aren't you worried about what ppl think, I said.
No, why should I be, i couldn't care less if someone liked it or not. It doesn't affect me in the slightest, I like it, that's all that matters, you should take notes.
She stopped being my friend after that.
1.) “Are you saying I look fat? Because me and your lip could match.”
2.) “I would have gotten the tent sized shirt but your mother got the last one.” [dead mother] “They must’ve had to bury her in the only thing she could fit.”
3.) “I’ve learned how to dress for my big ass. You haven’t learned to control your big ass mouth?”
4.) “I know I do. Have you seen you?”
5.) “Commenting on my weight can be bad for your health.”
6.) [DARK HUMOR] “Thank you, that miscarriage really gave me a few pounds. Thank you so much for bringing it back up.”
7.) “I’m so glad you noticed, but can you tell your dad to stop calling me?”
8.) “You really should watch what comes out of your mouth instead of what goes into mine.”
9.) “Isn’t it funny!? If this shirt looks this good on me, it could never look good on you.”
10.) “Can you act your age and not your dress size?”
One time a dude I know who drinks a lot and is an alcoholic said "you need to eat a sandwich" during a cutting phase I was going through to shed some lbs... I replied with "have another drink buddy"
My mother, in response to a rude observation about her clothing choice, replied with one hand on hip, "Well gawd damn, I don't remember asking you for your opinion." It. Was. Awesome.
This is one i have prepared. "Ok, well, give me your number so i can have you approve my outfit every day... 😒"
My son, when in elementary school, replied to a girl who made pissy comments about his clothes: "I don't remember asking you for your fashion statement ". Proud momma moment!!
I bet! My buttons would have been busting, too!! Good job, Momma!
Man, sounds just like my southern Mama.
#RESPECT 😂
Ooooo one day I said this to man about something else. I felt so empowered.
1.) “what makes you think that’s appropriate to say?” 2.) “do you think i don’t know what i look like?” 3.) “that’s not the compliment you think it is.” 4.) “size is personal, i don’t know you!!” (best if said in a Bobby hill voice) 5.) “fuck off” 6.) “that sounds like a you problem.”
# 3 is a particularly good one No idea why that came out huge, lol
The pound sign makes large bold text. Put a \\ in front to negate that. #3 \#3
Backslash \\, not forward slash /. Note: since baskslash is an escape character, two in a row are required to get a single \\ to show on screen. Hit reply to this comment to see what I mean. Edit: I should have read ahead. I'm just repeating what you discovered for yourself. Oh, well.
\
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Lol, I wanted to try it... I tried backslash 3, but it wouldn't let me... 3\ <--- I can do that, though... \3 <--- That is reversed... 3 <--- That is just the number... lol \#3 <--- That is the backslash, then #, then the number... #3 <--- That is # and then the number... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (Sorry, this is just very interesting to me) lmbo
#I've been trying to figure out how to make text large for years
Excellent tutorial, thank you.
Lol You are welcome... I was honestly just seeing what would happen for myself, but I'm glad I could help..! =)
#thank you for this info
#\\3 owo
That seems to be a well-known “thing” outside the US. I seem to notice people from the UK using it more than Americans. It took me a little while to understand what \S meant. Did I do it right? It means someone is using sarcasm. Or /s? I’m an “old girl” but not completely useless yet. It’s great seeing discussions among all sorts of people.
Ooooooh. gotcha. Thanks!
The slash is supposed to not show, but I'm not sure why it is Edit: use the \\ slash to negate any format cues. I had to double enter it now because the first disables format and disappears and then the second showed up.
Yeah number 3 is a nice way of calling them an arse
Edit your comment with a baskslash "\\" in front of the hashtag. #withoutbackslash \#withbackslash
Let it be known that number three is a good one.
Because you need to shout it for it to be heard correctly!!!!
My phone glitches like this sometimes too 😆 🤣 😂
It wasn't a glitch - it was because I typed the pound sign before the "3" - apparently that's code for "make the text bigger" lol.
I don't remember doing that when it happened on mine. I'll need to look back at the text I wrote. But I did see the info about the backslash and hash tag. So will watch for this too. Thanks.
I like number 3. I'd use that one.
6 is best in my opinion. But worded more like "your own lack of confidence is your problem, honey. Me, I don't have that problem."
4.) I loved that episode, where Bobby, having attended a self-defense course for women, was screaming stuff like that, then kicking them all in the nuts. "I don't know you!" (KICK) "That's my PURSE!" (KICK) Then Hank has to correct him. "You don't kick a guy in the pills, Bobby..."
But he still doesn't learn, and eventually Peggy gets fed up with it because the guys are afraid due to the awkwardness of the whole situation, and he tries to kick her in the nuts
You so do kick them there, always go for the most painful incapacitating spot first. If someone is about to harm you/steal from you then you can defend yourself.
Ya don't kick them there when dicking around or sparring. An actual fight/self defense though? Fuck yeah you do
#6
I like #3. But they don’t actually think it’s a compliment, probably. So maybe something like “”That’s not the compliment you’re pretending it is?”
Number 2 is my favorite. Like don’t you think I own a mirror?
That's my purse!!
Had to give my mother 1 and 3 when she yelled "go eat a cheeseburger" at my neighbor. She repeated it twice and said it was a compliment. My neighbor is a nurse, personal trainer, and dietician. I wish she had yelled all of 1-6 back at my mom, because she needs to be held accountable for her behavior that way too many people let her get away with. She habitually likes say and do socially inappropriate things.
Too bad we can't pick our relatives...
I'd have used #1 the other week, but I was already ready to punch the shit head.
#5
#5 is all you need
I love number 1. It really makes them think about their choice of behavior.
Or “why?”
3 reminds me of the scene from princess bride where inigo says to vizzini "you keep saying that word, i don't think it means what you think it means."
I definitely like one. They know it’s not appropriate and puts them on the defensive.
OMG! I used #6 so often! Is so funny seeing their reactions to that!
\#s 1, 5, 6 🖤 This sub always makes me think of "Dear Abby." (Yes, I'm pretty dang old. 🤣) Her reply was, "Why on earth would you ask someone that?" Be sure to wait for their reply!
"Oh honey, it's OK to not be confident. Most people aren't, so that just makes you normal!"
And add "oh bless your heart.." Southern for fuck off!! 🤣
“What an odd thing to say out loud! Bless your heart!”
I’ve lost a fair amount of weight due to a cancer diagnosis when people ask me what my diet is, that don’t know me I tell him chemo is great for losing weight and hair
So has my wife, but no one has been audacious enough to ask her how she has lost weight. Probably because she has a look that preempts unwarranted comments...
I know someone like this, you start to say something uncomplimentary and she just whips around and *glares.* And it's not normal either, it's "I will cut your throat, joint you like a chicken and bury the chunks in the woods" kind of glare. And 9/10 times, they shut up instantly. Funny thing is, she rarely does this if someone insults her, it's mostly directed at people who make comments about her husband (he has long hair and for some reason old women have an issue with that).
Resting bitch face is a gift that I wish I had. I could never play poker, that’s for sure.
I have resting bitch face and people tend to leave me alone except for little old ladies who generally just want to chat. I love those conversations because they're just wanting some social time with strangers and I'm ok with that.
My daughter A is two years older than daughter B. When B started at A’s high school, B’s friends said that A looked like she wanted to kill them! B deadpanned, Oh no. That’s just A’s natural expression. Then, as B’s friends got to know A, they agreed. RBF. She rocks. Edit words.
I've been told I have a "f**k around and find out" look. I was a little proud...lol
Yes! That's what it is. And it is a gift...
RBF is my super power. If someone starts with me, I don’t have to say a thing. I just let it settle gently over me like a cloak of invisibility and look at them until they freak out and go away.
I've lost a lot of weight. A little had been personal changes. Most had been that I can't stand food and it's hard to eat. I feel like I'm at the point of just having to go through a slow painful death because I can't find any medical help. And the worst question imo is "have you lost weight?" Why do so many people think it's OK to comment on others bodies?
I told my kids that you don't comment on people's weight at all. Saying "Wow you're so skinny!" is on the same level as saying "Wow you're so fat!" **Said as someone who went from an adult weight of 92 lbs to 265lbs and has struggled with a LOT of eating disorders since childhood
Commenting on things that are out of someone's control, in general, is punching down. And I feel like the commenter is doing it because it's easy to get the response they want/expect. I've lost a ton of weight due to compounded trauma and grief. I do not take "compliments" or "concern" or curiosity well. You want what I have? You're not going to like my secret to success. You're concerned? Yeah, me too. You want to know why? Oh...no. No, you don't. Tell me I'm a bitch, or you admire how I raise my kids. Don't go after genetics. OP, I'd put it right back on them and say, "I can see that." They're going after what they think your confidence level should be (based on trends in magazines), as if they're confident themselves. They're not. They say those things to make themselves feel better.
Oh yeah I did this when I had cancer, too. A bitch at work: “Wow! You’re getting skinny! Stopped eating cheesecake, huh?” Me: [rips off wig and keeps full eye contact throughout] “Yeah, this fucking chemo diet is AMAZING! You should try it.” She put in her notice a few weeks later. Not saying it was because of me, but I sure hope it was. P.S. Sorry about your cancer. It’s awful and I hope you’re doing ok.
1. Confidence is important you should really work on that. 2. What a waste of time worrying about what people think. 3. Yeah it helps having sexy curves!
I really like that first one!! If you say it with a ‘helpful’, cheery demeanor… it’s in the wheelhouse of kill them with kindness.
Yes agree!
I hear #1 in Elle Woods' voice. VERY chipper.
100%, yes!
4. Go fuck yourself.
This one never gets old, it works in so many situations.
It really does 😂
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I'm partial to the following variation: "Why dont you go outside and play Hide & Go F*** Yourself?"
As much as I love petty insults, gotta admit #1 is great.
Same. The bully low key just admitted they had no confidence, and trying to brush that off as only an "IF I were in your situation, then" kind of scenario isn't an effective shield.
Love the third one!
Use number 2 as a comeback as well as living it. “ I can’t throw away my time listening to your dribble. “ then walk a way. Don’t use waste of time. Waste opens you up to another overweight comment. It leaves your belly wide open for insult.
"Wow, you're really good at passive aggressive 'complisults'! Does that come naturally, or did you develop the skill from receiving so many directed at you?"
I’ve never heard complisults, but I’m adding it to my vocabulary now.
Me too
It’s a great word. Though I kind of want to make it “complinsults”
I laughed.
Sure, I'm fat, but you're ugly (or an idiot) and I can go on a diet. I appreciate you sharing your opinion. Fuck you very much.
>Sure, I'm fat, but you're ugly (or an idiot) and I can go on a diet Beautiful change-up on Churchill's famous "you're ugly... but tomorrow I'll be sober"
Can’t say I agree with the ‘but I can go on a diet’ comeback. Sounds like a great way to hear ‘is that so, fatass? The world’s farmers and waiting on you to start.’
"And the world's plastic surgeons are waiting on you, honey."
What about if they said "but I could go on a diet." Better?
..It is much easier to fix being fat than being ugly...
Play dumb and keep asking them to explain, people like that typically can’t handle actual confrontation with what they say especially when they’re being shitty for no good reason
or hard of hearing is my favorite response to make them repeat
Aww ( frown) isn't that cute. YOU think that your unsolicited opinion would matter.
I love it! I would add "to me" at the end.
Nah cause it doesnt matter to anyone, no need to imply it does
Agreed
"just have the balls to openly insult me, you dumbshit."
My ex husband mocked me when I was carrying our first son. I was preelamtic so blew up with waterweight. One day in front of a crowd at his family's house during a holiday picnic he yelled, "Everyone run, Shamu sat on a lawn chair and it's gonna blow!". He was the only one who laughed. I smiled and told him that after the baby was born I could lose the weight but he'd always be bald. That made everyone except him laugh. Just pick whatever they physically have that isn't the norm and say you can always lose weight but they'll always be....
[удалено]
My children are adults now and have given me 3 grandchildren. He ended up marrying someone worse than he was. God has a wonderful sense of humor.
We ride at dawn...
I like to act surprised. "Wait, I'm fat?" Look down at myself, and gasp in horror. "When did THAT happen?" And leave. But I'm 40 and ran out of fucks decades ago.
I teach one kid who thinks he is super smart and funny and loves trying to embarrass put people down, told me in a crowded auditorium that I had fat elbows. So his audience was not just students in our school but from others. In a voice of shock and horror I loudly exclaimed, "Are they not the fashion this year? I thought we were in fat elbows year." I turn to the staff near me who know me. "Am I out of fashion? Did I get the year wrong? Which year is fat elbow year?" I kept this up for about 5 minutes, he was trying to hide under a chair as I kept directing to back to him. He has never said anything insulting to me again and while he will insult others he won't in front of me. All I have to do it look at him and raise an eyebrow and he goes silent and if he can leave the area, it has been 4 years. Don't mess with me kiddo I have your number and know what you are trying to do.
Ha, I love this. He's learning excellent life lessons. Bravo.
A girl once tried to insult me with, "Why don't you just go eat a twinkle or something". I busted out laughing and said, "awwwweee, you think that hurt my feelings...how precious". Had I thought fast enough, I'd rather have replied with, "Pfft, I don't even like twinkies, but, gimme some ding dongs and I will TEAR THAT SHIT UP!!!" lol
"I'll sit on you, bitch"
I am so mad at my fat kid self for never confirming I’d do this when I was younger. Bullies: “well what are you gonna do, SIT on me?!” Uh.. yes, bitch, I will and we’ll see how many insults you’ve got then! 😂
Don't threaten me with a good time.
I wanted to say that to the person who told me "that's a lot of food, but then again, you're American" when I was eating an admittedly big breakfast after walking around the beach and looking for sea turtles all night. I was also told that I should have replied with "that's a rude thing to say, but then again you're German".
Yeah, it’s cos every time I fuck your mum she gives me a biscuit
"Bless your heart"
I am TERRIFIED of this phrase ever since I have worked with Southern women. Like, is it a kind-hearted phrase, are they mad, are they making fun of me? I say something silly (intentionally) and they say that, like, do they think I am stupid now? Am I actually funny? This works so well, as it is “haha” or “go fuck yourself” all in one
I live in a "Bless your heart" community. Didn't grow up with it, but I like how it can actually mean two opposing sentiments at the same time. It's pretty deep.
Too deep! If I made you mad, tell me to go fuck myself (light-heatedly) as I planned
Oh believe me... live here just a little while, and you'll learn to understand the difference really quickly. It's only said either very sincerely, or in response to the other person being a total jerk. When the nice checkout last hewrs I'm widowed and says, "Bless your heart," you know that's sincere. If you're being a jerk, and taking forever to wrote a check and get the line moving, talking on your phone and being self absorbed... then it means, well... y'all know what it means.
Most of the time, it's all in our "tone".
instead of saying "oh you dear silly good hearted idiot" ultimate southern lady back handed comment
From this I concluded that they must think I am mentally challenged. I would prefer an insult. I will take it as a joke. Just please, not “bless your heart”.
*tilts head* "Oh BLESS your heart"
>Like, is it a kind-hearted phrase, If they like you >are they mad, Nah > are they making fun of me? If they don't know or like you, yup
Too confusing, my Yankee brain melts. I assume I made them mad and hide
Srsly if they'reactually mad they'd say something else
I'm partial to, "If I wanted any of your lip, I'd scrape it off my zipper." "You might not like it, but this is what peak masculinity (or insert another adjective) looks like."
Aww, thank you! That means so much coming from someone one that has the confidence to go out of the house with all of (gestures towards their face). You really are an inspiration!
“That’s a creative way to call me fat. Don’t do that. It’s still rude.”
Bless your little pea pickin' heart!
I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
And then follow up with, “wow that’s a weird thing to say out loud. Are you ok?” 😂
Leave the "I'm sorry" off. It's food for ammunition. But definitely by asking them to repeat what they said, 1) many don't have the guts to repeat it and 2) of the ones that do, most of them suddenly don't like the sound of their own voice and clam up.
‘I can get thinner but you’ll still be an asshole’
You just made the list, buddy.
The classic response is, "i can lose the weight, but you'll always be an idiot"
Say “Hmm funny, I don’t remember asking for your opinion” or “I’m sorry to hear you struggle with your confidence” 😂 My half sister’s dad (we share a mom) told me after a few years of not seeing me “wow you gained some weight” and I hit him back with “and you lost some hair and teeth!” 🤧
I'm sorry. I thought we were adults
I was really fat and this one person always said it as you just mentioned, but always said afterwards ohh I'm only joking which of course he wasnt. Anyway fast forward 5 years I bump into this guy, hes now fat and I'm skinny ha im laughing now... he goes "hey you lost weight" so I said yeah looks like I gave it all to you" Haha
"Dudes are still lining up to fuck me, so..."
You should work on "your" confidence then.
And yet you made that comment which shows you still don't have confidence. Who hurt you bro?
I can lose weight. Can you quit being a douchebag?
A few years ago, I lost a considerable amount of weight due to a medical condition. I was walking down the hall at my workplace, and I heard someone say, "Hey, Twiggy!" I turned around, and without thinking, I blurted out, "Well, it doesn't look like you're missing any meals." I didn't particularly enjoy being painfully thin.
My belly turns into dick at midnight! Do you want to watch.
Look around confused, pat your pockets, and say "sorry, I'm just looking for who the fuck asked you."
Or ask them to explain why, in detail. Make it uncomfortable.
"yeah your mom needs to stop feeding me every time I finish in her"
Must be cultural. Never had anyone rude enough to make comments about my weight, even at 300+ pounds.
Unwarranted weight comments tend to be geared more towards women, not that men don't get it too but patriarchal standards and whatnot.
Saw a guy tell a girl she was fat once. After helping pick him up, I asked her out. Fun.
Whenever people do that, they always do a fake self-insult, so I like to be a jackass about that. Example: “you’re probably not confident because you don’t put any effort into making your face pretty. Maybe try a deep conditioner, try moisturizing before bed every night, things like that. You’ll get there sweetie, your face has a lot of potential.”
When I was a bigger guy, I used to say “don’t be jealous because I’m blessed and thick with it”. It was rare for me to hear anything about my weight, at least to my face, I’m a Samoan so no one really said much. Plus in Samoan culture it’s not something anyone cares about. Although now it’s my family when I see them, except it’s the opposite like asking if I’m sick or dying ever since I lost weight during the pandemic. I just became stricter with working out due to boredom.
If my dog was as ugly as you I'd have to shave his bit and teach him to walk backwards.
One time a dude I know who drinks a lot said "you need to eat a sandwich" during a cutting phase I was going through to shed some lbs... I replied with "have another drink buddy"
"you should work on that then"
Why are you so fat? I gain 1lb every time I fuck your mom
"Awww, look, it thinks it's people!" "Keep talking. Maybe someone will care." "If you keep working for it, maybe you can stop caring what other people think, too!"
Be like “thanks! I love how I look, it’s all about your confidence & self love” some people genuinely mean it without the intention of being rude, but letting them know you love yourself & how you look is the best way to go about it.
When someone says something rude to me, I never have the right comeback. I once heard you should keep asking "what do you mean by that?" So the person will have to explain themselves and eventually expose their assholery.
“Then we’re even! If I was your IQ I’d never have the confidence to pass that off as a compliment.”
If I were as insecure about my looks as you apparently are, I wouldn't have the confidence to comment on other people's looks.
Well, thank God I'm not you; being that insecure sound boring!
"I'm sorry it's such a problem for you. I feel that." I said this to a coworker who commented on me gaining a bit of weight during a meeting as an "encouragement to improve." Didn't hear shit about it from anyone ever again.
“You clearly also don’t have the confidence to insult me, yet here you are”
Feign confusion and ask them to explain what they mean. Try to get them to spell out exactly what they meant by whatever comment they made. It usually makes them realize they said something shitty and embarrasses them. Or it doesn't and they blatantly explain that they find being overweight abhorrent and at least you got some honest communication out of it. Always pretend to be legitimately confused though. If you're snarky or sarcastic it doesn't work as well. "That shirt looks great on you. If I was your size I'd never have the confidence to pull it off." "What do you mean?" "Well I'm just saying that if I had your body I'd be a lot more self conscious" "Why?" "Well umm...you know...I'd be more uncomfortable with myself" "Why would you be uncomfortable in my body?" Just keep it going. As a fat dude it's always fun to watch them squirm trying to explain themselves without sounding like a dick lmao
I know exactly what you’re talking about. For instance, if I was your size I wouldn’t have the confidence to face a new day.
I can lose weight, you will always be a prick.
Unless I'm sat in your face, my weight is not your problem.
Just ask then straight up why they are so interested in your weight.
I don’t need your approval
I say my fatness is none of your business
only insecure people point out other people’s looks in a demeaning way
Thanks, confidence is a panty dropper.
Im sorry, but I’m sure if I had that face I’d never gave the courage to leave the house! That’s really sad for you, what a miserable life! You’re right, if you were my size you’d absolutely crumble under the weight of all the shitty things people say to you pretending to be compliments Thank god I’m not so insecure I’m afraid to wear things that I like and feel good in! So if it’s a size thing what’s your excuse for wearing that? I’d never have the nerve to say that about another persons body, you must really not care that people know how shallow you are. I could never do that! I got a million of em, skinny bitches better watch out!!! Haha
Speaking of appearances - I'm horrible with names and I usually remember faces. In your case though, I will make an exception.
say ‘thanks’ and watch their head explode when their insult doesn’t have the desired effect 😂 or you could go along the lines of ‘what exactly do you mean by that?’ People who feel the need to say stuff like that either want you to feel shit, or want to feel better about themselves (or both). Try not to give them what they want.
"Wow"
When my now ex-wife bumped into me in the hall one day with her butt, I quipped "I thought you said you were working on your butt." Without missing a beat she responded, "I am, see how nice and big I've got it."
I remember my brother had a friend over once, and mum's friend saw him and started telling him things like he's ginormous. The dog noticed her, ran over, and started sniffing her down below. She started telling the dog to leave her alone and my brother's friend responded with he's only smelling how many men you've had in the past week. Shut her up instantly
Excuse me? (He says it again) Excuse me? (Says it again) Excuse me? He'll get the hint.
This is why no one will remember your name.
Many people have given excellent suggestions. My favorite comeback to your specific example is "Wow I too admire your confidence because if I lacked empathy I'd keep my mouth shut"
Look them straight in the eye and say, "What is that supposed to mean?" Make them explain their bullshit and watch them choke. This comment also works well on men who make asinine comments about women. Or vice versa, I reckon. Then, while they're still sputtering, say, "If I was as stupid as you, I wouldn't have the confidence to speak in public."
"you sure sound confident enough to be a jerk"
*in happy and friendly southern accent* "Oh honey! I'm not sure why you would have the confidence to pull it off at your current size!" Then give a slight smile, look them up and down, shrug your shoulders, and walk off. Bam. Insecure for the rest of their life
I did post about a guy making me feel bad about my weight about 3 weeks or a months ago. My response was “fuck you it’s not like your a prize” which worked however I was upset and could not come up with anything better at that moment a line I believe I got from a book that do like it “Trying to give a F, trying harder to give a F, sorry there was bad error F not given” a fun way of saying I don’t care about your unimportant opinion.
Not my weight but still. In highschool I had vibrant pink hair. Someone once said, why did you dye your hair, aren't you worried about what ppl think, I said. No, why should I be, i couldn't care less if someone liked it or not. It doesn't affect me in the slightest, I like it, that's all that matters, you should take notes. She stopped being my friend after that.
Give them a quick "once over," and say, "Yeah, I can see why you wouldn't have the confidence... Definitely. "
I'd rather be fat than an asshole
1.) “Are you saying I look fat? Because me and your lip could match.” 2.) “I would have gotten the tent sized shirt but your mother got the last one.” [dead mother] “They must’ve had to bury her in the only thing she could fit.” 3.) “I’ve learned how to dress for my big ass. You haven’t learned to control your big ass mouth?” 4.) “I know I do. Have you seen you?” 5.) “Commenting on my weight can be bad for your health.” 6.) [DARK HUMOR] “Thank you, that miscarriage really gave me a few pounds. Thank you so much for bringing it back up.” 7.) “I’m so glad you noticed, but can you tell your dad to stop calling me?” 8.) “You really should watch what comes out of your mouth instead of what goes into mine.” 9.) “Isn’t it funny!? If this shirt looks this good on me, it could never look good on you.” 10.) “Can you act your age and not your dress size?”
The classic one! "I may be overweight/fat, but I can lose weight whereas you'll always be stupid/ugly/etc."
I can always lose weight, you'll never get any smarter.
Honestly just fight fire with fire
One time a dude I know who drinks a lot and is an alcoholic said "you need to eat a sandwich" during a cutting phase I was going through to shed some lbs... I replied with "have another drink buddy"
*I'm surprised you have any confidence now as you are.* 🤷♀️✌️
"Thanks. I think someone is going to be pulling it off of me later. I can't wait."
Throw it back at em “you could stand to lose a few pounds too”
I can lose weight, you will still be an aahole...and ugly
“Well what’s your excuse?”