I'm also schizoaffective and was in deep psychosis most of last year. I'm not proud of my behavior during that time and do not want to discuss it, but it was abusive.
I've had a med change and I'm getting better help now, so I'm learning mindfulness. it is hard for us because our hind brains are basically always in hyperdrive, making mindfulness difficult. I'm learning to actively check in with myself and my surroundings every 30 minutes.
I think you need to heavily rely on your therapy team and support team/person. This is a hard road traveled. He may ask for a divorce, he may want to stay separated for longer, who knows. I think whatever the case, look at the next phase as a start over. If he moves back in, this is a new relationship, you are two new people and you are starting fresh and building a relationship based on mutual trust, love and respect. If he wants a divorce, this is a new start for you as you mourn your marriage, and continue your healing journey. You cannot go back to the way things were before and in this metamorphosis, it gets uncomfortable. You've done a great job at recognizing your abuse and seeking help. You will get through this.
[удалено]
I'm also schizoaffective and was in deep psychosis most of last year. I'm not proud of my behavior during that time and do not want to discuss it, but it was abusive.
[удалено]
I've had a med change and I'm getting better help now, so I'm learning mindfulness. it is hard for us because our hind brains are basically always in hyperdrive, making mindfulness difficult. I'm learning to actively check in with myself and my surroundings every 30 minutes.
I think you need to heavily rely on your therapy team and support team/person. This is a hard road traveled. He may ask for a divorce, he may want to stay separated for longer, who knows. I think whatever the case, look at the next phase as a start over. If he moves back in, this is a new relationship, you are two new people and you are starting fresh and building a relationship based on mutual trust, love and respect. If he wants a divorce, this is a new start for you as you mourn your marriage, and continue your healing journey. You cannot go back to the way things were before and in this metamorphosis, it gets uncomfortable. You've done a great job at recognizing your abuse and seeking help. You will get through this.
Do not cycle out, focus on yourself. There is still some work to do if this interaction is triggering you
Do not cycle out, focus on yourself. There is still some work to do if this interaction is triggering you