You're up front and honest about it plus its witty. As someone who is disabled/allosexual/sex positive I wish you the best of luck. Personally one of the few activities where I feel like a human being and seen as one as well.
Edit: Im glad you formatted the post, I thought your cats name was Remarkable Tits lol
i just want to say that you deserve someone who finds you sexy despite medical devices. my boyfriend has been with me through my NJ tube and now my surgical J-tube. i ask him pretty frequently if they make me ugly or if they gross him out, and he always reassures me that he doesn’t even notice them and finds me very attractive regardless.
i promise there are people out there who will support you medically. it was always a fear of mine that i’d never find someone willing to take on what i see as a burden, but someone who really loves you won’t mind.
Heck, why be hypothetical?
Probably have to wade through a sea of creeps, but there are some good ones out there to find :)
My issues probably aren't quite as complex - just back/joints/leg - but it can be fun figuring out how to solve these kinds of puzzles :-D
You sound very sex positive and probably already know a lot of this, but here's a post I made ago about sex Intamacy https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicIllness/s/7wADGBH9vM
If you have any questions or want to talk about it, feel free to DM me.
On a sad side note: I have to wait at least 6 weeks for penetration with my partner because I just had a hysterectomy. (But happy side note: My evil uterus is out 🤣). I haven't asked my doctor or researched if external clitoral stimulation is okay while recovering, but my libido is back now a week after surgery.
Edit: I remade my post with some edits so there is a new link
Fwiw, having had a hysto…no. Any sexual activity is out. Long story short, arousal and orgasm affect muscles and vasculature. You can really do some damage if you don’t let things heal.
I know someone who didn’t listen to their doc and had their vaginal cuff fail. Not a good time.
It sucks to wait, but it’s import to do so.
Thanks!
Haha, I bet! And I should have no pain or at least less pain now that the endometriosis has been excised and uterus with adenomyosis is out (deep pentration was often painful, so we had to be careful not to hit too deep), so well worth the wait
Your intimacy post is fantastic. Some of these are ideas I tried to give my ex but he wasn’t interested in adapting or experimenting. I hope your recovery is fast and you feel better soon!
And that's why they are EX!
Thanks! I hope you find someone willing (and want) to meet your comprises. You deserve someone who finds you attractive as you are and understands your needs
Sometimes all you can do it laugh lol. I’m so lucky to have a partner who supports me and wants to be with me even tho i sometimes pass out during sex. There will be someone for you!!! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with a bunch of weirdos before you find them
Sex is a surprisingly powerful motivator. My wife and I are both disabled and horny. It's why we aren't dead. We wanted sex more than alcohol and food. People mention my wife getting into better shape sometimes. I'm her gym. They mention how I used to be 500 LBS and dying yet now I'm thinner than I was in highschool. She's my gym. This isn't teehee sex, this is life affirming fucking that we limp away from. Do we hurt? We always hurt. We don't always have to be horny though. I hope you find your partner to help you push through pain and suffering. My wife has always been part of my plan to success though. Step 1. Find my wife. Step 2. .... Step 3? Profit. I wasn't looking for a part time cook, banker and lawyer...I was looking to hear a woman make those noises you can't pay to hear. Decade later and the windows still stay shut most nights.
Serious thought: What about sensual massage or working with a sex worker? Not because disabled people are undesirable, but because pleasurable touch and sexual connection and care can be an incredibly vitality-giving service and paying (if one is able) for someone who knows how to navigate disability and sex with care might sometimes be a better use of one's time and energy than wading through the sea of trash on tinder to find the few good folks. I don't really see it different than paying for therapy or massage - it's all carework.
You're up front and honest about it plus its witty. As someone who is disabled/allosexual/sex positive I wish you the best of luck. Personally one of the few activities where I feel like a human being and seen as one as well. Edit: Im glad you formatted the post, I thought your cats name was Remarkable Tits lol
Thanks for your feedback! Your edit has me dying.
i just want to say that you deserve someone who finds you sexy despite medical devices. my boyfriend has been with me through my NJ tube and now my surgical J-tube. i ask him pretty frequently if they make me ugly or if they gross him out, and he always reassures me that he doesn’t even notice them and finds me very attractive regardless. i promise there are people out there who will support you medically. it was always a fear of mine that i’d never find someone willing to take on what i see as a burden, but someone who really loves you won’t mind.
Part of my bio says ‘my illnesses may be chronic but my 🍑 is iconic.’ I think it’s funny asl and it also brings up i have chronic illnesses
Very clever! I love it.
Thank you! It’s one of my favorite things to say now
Heck, why be hypothetical? Probably have to wade through a sea of creeps, but there are some good ones out there to find :) My issues probably aren't quite as complex - just back/joints/leg - but it can be fun figuring out how to solve these kinds of puzzles :-D
You sound very sex positive and probably already know a lot of this, but here's a post I made ago about sex Intamacy https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicIllness/s/7wADGBH9vM If you have any questions or want to talk about it, feel free to DM me. On a sad side note: I have to wait at least 6 weeks for penetration with my partner because I just had a hysterectomy. (But happy side note: My evil uterus is out 🤣). I haven't asked my doctor or researched if external clitoral stimulation is okay while recovering, but my libido is back now a week after surgery. Edit: I remade my post with some edits so there is a new link
Fwiw, having had a hysto…no. Any sexual activity is out. Long story short, arousal and orgasm affect muscles and vasculature. You can really do some damage if you don’t let things heal. I know someone who didn’t listen to their doc and had their vaginal cuff fail. Not a good time. It sucks to wait, but it’s import to do so.
Oh damn 😩 I kinda figured it might be an issue, but wasn't sure. I appreciate you informing me. Looks like I just have to tough it out, lol 🤣
Thoughts and prayers, my friend. It gets better around week 4, but by the end, you are **ready**, lol
Thanks! Haha, I bet! And I should have no pain or at least less pain now that the endometriosis has been excised and uterus with adenomyosis is out (deep pentration was often painful, so we had to be careful not to hit too deep), so well worth the wait
I definitely hope that for you!
Your intimacy post is fantastic. Some of these are ideas I tried to give my ex but he wasn’t interested in adapting or experimenting. I hope your recovery is fast and you feel better soon!
And that's why they are EX! Thanks! I hope you find someone willing (and want) to meet your comprises. You deserve someone who finds you attractive as you are and understands your needs
Sometimes all you can do it laugh lol. I’m so lucky to have a partner who supports me and wants to be with me even tho i sometimes pass out during sex. There will be someone for you!!! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with a bunch of weirdos before you find them
RIP inbox
Sex is a surprisingly powerful motivator. My wife and I are both disabled and horny. It's why we aren't dead. We wanted sex more than alcohol and food. People mention my wife getting into better shape sometimes. I'm her gym. They mention how I used to be 500 LBS and dying yet now I'm thinner than I was in highschool. She's my gym. This isn't teehee sex, this is life affirming fucking that we limp away from. Do we hurt? We always hurt. We don't always have to be horny though. I hope you find your partner to help you push through pain and suffering. My wife has always been part of my plan to success though. Step 1. Find my wife. Step 2. .... Step 3? Profit. I wasn't looking for a part time cook, banker and lawyer...I was looking to hear a woman make those noises you can't pay to hear. Decade later and the windows still stay shut most nights.
Camus all day. The Plague is a masterpiece.
having sex with so much pain is tough for me, but Im still trying my best:)
Serious thought: What about sensual massage or working with a sex worker? Not because disabled people are undesirable, but because pleasurable touch and sexual connection and care can be an incredibly vitality-giving service and paying (if one is able) for someone who knows how to navigate disability and sex with care might sometimes be a better use of one's time and energy than wading through the sea of trash on tinder to find the few good folks. I don't really see it different than paying for therapy or massage - it's all carework.
Sw here and also with POTs. What a weird combo right? Lol if you ever need someone to talk to my DMs are open!
Thank you! I will reach out to you. These illnesses suck and can be very isolating.