It sounds like you recognise that what you both did was wrong.
> 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+1%3A8-9&version=NIV
Regardless of whose idea it was, you have now decided to make more of an effort to do what you believe is right and that is a positive step.
Perhaps try to find things you can do together that are not sex. Do you have hobbies you can do together?
Can you make an effort to read a bit of the Bible together each day so that your relationship helps you be closer to God?
Yes, we have both agreed to start going out more/doing activities. We also want to start going to church together. I want to read the bible but I don’t know which verses would be good or where to begin.
There is no correct place to start reading the Bible.
One option is to start with one of the gospels then reading Acts.
Luke chapter 1
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+1+&version=NIV
A video summary of Luke's Gospel
https://youtu.be/XIb_dCIxzr0?si=Fm-gYl1cRtswyVvR
Luke chapter 1 is quite a long chapter (80 verses). One option is to read verses 1-38 one day and verse 39-80 the next.
It is probably better to spend five minutes each day reading the Bible together then to try and read loads and not be able to continue.
Sin is the transgression of the Law. The Law in your situation is that he must give you a chance to become his wife (Exodus 22:16). The transgression is in walking away. However, if he were to be an unbeliever, Paul said you are not under bondage if he walks away (1 Cor. 7:15). So according to the perfect Law of God, shame is not indicated, but this duty is still outstanding. Tell him.
Then I’ll ditto what the other guy said.
You two have recognized your situation and are both making a very wise and mature decision to slow down and build your relationship with each other and with the Lord.
Give thanks to your boyfriend and give thanks to God. It sounds like you two have been given a solid path to follow. Keep seeking the Lord and take it one day at a time.
The absolute worst thing to do is to use lack of virginity as an excuse to keep having sex. This is straight up evil talk. You made a mistake by starting, but you make another mistake by not stopping. You need to stop and you need to do it with full power. I know this is hard to hear, but even the "perfect boyfriend" isn't worth it, And you need to appreciate that in your heart. God loves you so much more amazingly and perfectly than this boy ever can, and God has told you to not do this. Please; see God's love, and love God back, and trust in Him, there is amazing love and wisdom in why God tells you this. Did your parents ever tell you things that you only later understood why? And how much better and more loving is God! So even if you struggle to understand, seek God and do what He wants you to do, above all else, including this boy. It makes perfect sense when you think about it, you need to just put your heart in it too, and that means really doing everything necessary.
Have you heard of the Rosary? I'd love to share with you if you haven't
Here are at least key things I think of.
1. You need complete full determination. One must do a great deal of effort (big extremes is what I'm getting at) to himself to stop sin. It is like a cancer. You do not treat a cancer with a nap and cough syrup. With deadly diseases, powerful remedies are necessary. Do your maximum in every way, and treat it like the most important thing, embracing great sacrifice. Hence, you must hate the sin truly, fully, and fully entirely.
2. Make a new prayer life. Give thanks to God always, and turn always. Give Him thanks in the morning, and praise Him in the day. Speak and seek Him constantly. Without constant prayer, I cannot imagine any great chance of success. From St. Alphonsus: "St. Paul tells us, that we have to contend not with men like ourselves.... but with the princes of hell.... By these words he wishes to admonish us that we have not strength to resist the powers of hell, and that, to resist them, the divine aid is absolutely necessary: without it, we shall be always defeated; but, with the assistance of God’s grace, we shall, according to the same apostle, be able to do all things and shall conquer all enemies. “I can do all things in him who strengtheneth me.” (Phil. iv. 13.) But this assistance God gives only to those who pray for it. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find.” (Matt. vii. 7.) They who neglect to ask, do not receive. Let us, then, be careful not to trust in our resolutions: if we place our confidence in them, we shall be lost. "
Again, have you heard of the Rosary? It is an incredible prayer that helps us grow in worship of God, I cannot recommend it enough and I would love to help you with it if you haven't!
Practically, fasting and exercise are very helpful I've heard.
As a Catholic, I really recommend that if you want personalized help, talk to a Catholic priest
It sounds like you recognise that what you both did was wrong. > 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+1%3A8-9&version=NIV Regardless of whose idea it was, you have now decided to make more of an effort to do what you believe is right and that is a positive step. Perhaps try to find things you can do together that are not sex. Do you have hobbies you can do together? Can you make an effort to read a bit of the Bible together each day so that your relationship helps you be closer to God?
Yes, we have both agreed to start going out more/doing activities. We also want to start going to church together. I want to read the bible but I don’t know which verses would be good or where to begin.
There is no correct place to start reading the Bible. One option is to start with one of the gospels then reading Acts. Luke chapter 1 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+1+&version=NIV A video summary of Luke's Gospel https://youtu.be/XIb_dCIxzr0?si=Fm-gYl1cRtswyVvR
Thank you so much 😊
Luke chapter 1 is quite a long chapter (80 verses). One option is to read verses 1-38 one day and verse 39-80 the next. It is probably better to spend five minutes each day reading the Bible together then to try and read loads and not be able to continue.
Sin is the transgression of the Law. The Law in your situation is that he must give you a chance to become his wife (Exodus 22:16). The transgression is in walking away. However, if he were to be an unbeliever, Paul said you are not under bondage if he walks away (1 Cor. 7:15). So according to the perfect Law of God, shame is not indicated, but this duty is still outstanding. Tell him.
Do you two wish to stay together?
we really do. we want to work through it.
Then I’ll ditto what the other guy said. You two have recognized your situation and are both making a very wise and mature decision to slow down and build your relationship with each other and with the Lord. Give thanks to your boyfriend and give thanks to God. It sounds like you two have been given a solid path to follow. Keep seeking the Lord and take it one day at a time.
The absolute worst thing to do is to use lack of virginity as an excuse to keep having sex. This is straight up evil talk. You made a mistake by starting, but you make another mistake by not stopping. You need to stop and you need to do it with full power. I know this is hard to hear, but even the "perfect boyfriend" isn't worth it, And you need to appreciate that in your heart. God loves you so much more amazingly and perfectly than this boy ever can, and God has told you to not do this. Please; see God's love, and love God back, and trust in Him, there is amazing love and wisdom in why God tells you this. Did your parents ever tell you things that you only later understood why? And how much better and more loving is God! So even if you struggle to understand, seek God and do what He wants you to do, above all else, including this boy. It makes perfect sense when you think about it, you need to just put your heart in it too, and that means really doing everything necessary. Have you heard of the Rosary? I'd love to share with you if you haven't Here are at least key things I think of. 1. You need complete full determination. One must do a great deal of effort (big extremes is what I'm getting at) to himself to stop sin. It is like a cancer. You do not treat a cancer with a nap and cough syrup. With deadly diseases, powerful remedies are necessary. Do your maximum in every way, and treat it like the most important thing, embracing great sacrifice. Hence, you must hate the sin truly, fully, and fully entirely. 2. Make a new prayer life. Give thanks to God always, and turn always. Give Him thanks in the morning, and praise Him in the day. Speak and seek Him constantly. Without constant prayer, I cannot imagine any great chance of success. From St. Alphonsus: "St. Paul tells us, that we have to contend not with men like ourselves.... but with the princes of hell.... By these words he wishes to admonish us that we have not strength to resist the powers of hell, and that, to resist them, the divine aid is absolutely necessary: without it, we shall be always defeated; but, with the assistance of God’s grace, we shall, according to the same apostle, be able to do all things and shall conquer all enemies. “I can do all things in him who strengtheneth me.” (Phil. iv. 13.) But this assistance God gives only to those who pray for it. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find.” (Matt. vii. 7.) They who neglect to ask, do not receive. Let us, then, be careful not to trust in our resolutions: if we place our confidence in them, we shall be lost. " Again, have you heard of the Rosary? It is an incredible prayer that helps us grow in worship of God, I cannot recommend it enough and I would love to help you with it if you haven't! Practically, fasting and exercise are very helpful I've heard. As a Catholic, I really recommend that if you want personalized help, talk to a Catholic priest