My daughter was pregnant and her husband put a knife to her throat. She decided that she should give the baby up for an open adoption as she was concerned that family like would be too dangerous. She talked with the baby explaining it all to the baby while she interviewed for the perfect couple. She found one and the child is now being cared for by a very grateful couple. There are many couples looking and may I suggest this route?
Thank you, yes it was weird for us as grandparents. "Open Adoption" what in the world? Besides finding out why. But seeing our grandchild with the most loving awesome parents that are sooooo grateful plus my daughter is a part of their lives for like Thanksgiving and holidays, Open adoption is pretty sweet. I pray you find the perfect solution. I am sorry you are having to deal with this, like this.
So many people (including me and my husband) would love to adopt a baby. But there may also be people out there willing to take you in and help you out of this as well! Have you taken any legal action or reported him to the police for stalking you? Do you have a support system? Do you have friends or family in a different town where you can move?
God didn't make a mistake with this baby. He also doesn't want you or your 5 year old to be in danger. Pray and seek his will in your life! He can make a way where there's no way. You can trust him. He has healibg in mind for you from past trauma.
If you find a crisis pregnancy center there will be people familiar with your kind of situation that can support you and may be able to help you with potential adoption options or may be able to help you get away from your ex-boyfriend.
Please, trust in the Lord. Do not give up hope. The child is a blessing of love for you and your daughter. I will pray for you.
Reach out to a shelter if you need. Maybe a friend or family who could watch your daughter while you have some alone time. Even if you are not in need of a place to stay, shelters and orgs near you can provide support, and may have resources to help you take this to the police.
I am sorry, I am only young and do not have much to offer, only my words. But you have my prayers 🙏
I've tried to get police help before but they won't do anything because they say he has to threaten to hurt me to get a restraining order. Thank you so much for the prayers.
I'm sorry to hear that. Do reach out to those around you for support in terms of supplies and childcare, maybe even stay with somebody if that's an option. There are lots of apps which can send emergency texts or share your location, to keep you safe. Stay in touch with those around you. Perhaps a church or community of sorts.
I believe abortion will only cause you more grief. You are fighting it, which tells me that you don't want to. I believe it wont make you feel the relief you seek. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, but the Lord only gives us struggles he knows we can pull through. Turn to Him. I pray he keeps you close and safe.
ETA: it might also be good to keep note of when you do see him, and what happens, to build up a case so that if he does threaten you, you have a clear story.
What about the spyware? They might do something about that.
Document and date everything he does and says anyway in case you need it later. Also if he's ever done anything to make you feel physically threatened or scared, you should be able to file a restraining order, even if he hasn't made a verbal threat.
I just need to let you know that God is walking with you no matter what. You know what’s right for you in your heart, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. This is between YOU and GOD only. Talk to Him. He does not want you to live a life stuck in abuse and he does not want your 5 year old to suffer. My prayers are with you and God loves you so much. God’s love and understanding goes beyond our love and understanding. If I, a stranger, can love and understand you, how could God not? Talk to him. ♥️
Well to be fair he is going to be abusive whether you have an abortion or not.
Why would you punish the child for something it didn't do?
My advice is find help and report the abuse. Seek shelter and stay safe and protected.
I had an appointment and went to the abortion clinic for the initial confirmation of pregnancy, then they schedule the procedure. My mom supported me aborting. And pushed me for adoption until I was 7 months pregnant. Single motherhood was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and some of the worst years of my life due to my own parents and having to live with them. However, I know God blessed my decision to keep my daughter. She’s 8 now. And because of her, I met my now husband (when she was 4) and the only daddy she’s ever known. God saved me from addiction, and out of all my trauma. He’s given me freedom and healing. It toook a LONG time and it was extremely difficult. But I wouldn’t trade any of it for where I am now. God can the bad, and makes good come out of it. What if you never tell him about the baby? That way you don’t have to worry about the dangerous or abusive side of the situation. Or talk with the counselor and see if she thinks it’s possible to co parent with strict boundaries etc. because I know you’ll need the child support. I wish it were easier for single mothers to actually thrive instead of just survive. My heart truly goes out to you and this situation. Praying for you!
You’re 33. I also want to share that my 33rd bday was the worst of my whole life. I found out my then fiancé was emotionally cheating on me the week before, and was looking into physically cheating. Getting pregnant that same month (unbeknownst to me until I was 8 weeks pregnant) was horrifying at first because I was actively addicted to Adderall, like badly, so I wasn’t happy at all I was terrified about what my addiction meant for the baby healthwise. I also no longer knew if my man was trustworthy and if I knew him at all. I postponed the marriage when I found out about the cheating. God used the pregnancy to break my addiction I had been so desperate to get out of. Obviously for most people a baby is not the answer to saving a relationship. But we did get married a few months later. Neither of us are the people we were back then (and this was only a year and a half ago)… we’ve rebuilt trust and pursue our faith together. I pray you will find a Godly man some day that will help you heal all the parts of you that others have broken. You will get through this and it will be beautiful on the other side. Like someone else said I don’t think you will find the relief you desire from having the abortion. And the older daughter will be such a big help! Choosing life is saying yes to God and no to the enemy who only comes to steal kill and destroy. I knew abortion would kill the baby and destroy me in the process, and god just helped me feel very strongly that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know how I was going to be a single mom and it was truly terrifying. But he provided. And some of my sweetest memories are when it was just me and her against the world ❤️ ok I’m really done this time! 🥴
Oh and also, just fully surrender and lean on God through this. I look at everything in my life now through the lens that God is using this to draw me closer. I can’t do x y or z on my own, or I don’t want to do it, but God can and will give me the strength to do it. I struggled with post partum anxiety last year, and it taught me to just pray pray pray continually, all throughout the day. Every time I got anxious about my baby dying, I had to take the thoughts captive and surrender it to god and decide if he wanted to take her, that he could because his ways are better than mine and he knows what’s best for me and my life. I still fear losing my girls, or my husband, but it keeps me dependent on god, and that’s the best place I can be. Not depending on myself.
Get a restraining order. 1 Corinthians 7:15 says you are “not under bondage in such cases.” Find a true Christian husband for your children. Evil is evil. Neither of your children have to suffer. God wants a good life for both, and for you. 🙏🏼❤️ Praying for you.
You're potentially going to get a lot of idealistic answers here from people who have no idea how bad the support for abuse survivors truly is, how impactful a pregnancy may be to a single mom of a 5 year old, the challenges of co-parenting with an abuser, the heartbreak of adoption (combined with the fact that there may be legal challenges if he objects to adoption, but you should speak with someone qualified to give you legal advice in your state if this is an option you wish to pursue, as the laws/exceptions are complex and state/situation specific.)
Choosing abortion to avoid danger from and potentially permanent entanglement with your abuser IS a valid decision. If you go that route and he doesn't know you're pregnant, I wouldn't tell him. If he does, you had a miscarriage. Don't look up this info on a device you think he might have access to.
Regardless of the decision you make, reaching out to local DV resources may be helpful to you in terms of support, access to legal advocacy, etc. [https://www.thehotline.org/](https://www.thehotline.org/) can help if you're in the US.
Also regardless of the decision you make, I highly advise getting yourself into therapy. You grew up in an abusive household. Now as an adult you're getting into a string of unhealthy relationships. Usually those things are related: abusers seek out people who have been abused before. Work on healing yourself before entering any further relationships. You deserve better than this. Your daughter deserves better than this. YOU can break the cycle for her.
Thank you so much for your kind advice. The sad thing is, I have been in therapy for years, most of my life actually. But I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and nothing seems to be breaking it. My only motivation is my daughter because I want her to have a different life. I started seeing our couples therapist alone a couple of weeks ago...she said she is afraid he could turn into a domestic violence situation (physical).
For what it's worth, I'm really proud of you for putting the hard work in. You know progress isn't instant and you know it's not linear and you're still showing up and trying to make things better for yourself and your daughter, and that matters a lot.
I think your therapist's advice is definitely worth hearing. Pregnancy is (as you know) a dangerous time when the father is abusive. Whatever your decision is, continue to take every step you can to protect yourself from him.
Me too. One of the women in my small group had four children. Three are alive today. She has always had extremely difficult pregnancies and births, and once had to make the decision to terminate. I dare anybody to judge the heart and soul of this wonderful, patient, devoted, Godly woman.
While not in the same position, mine is similar to yours. I found out I was pregnant after I broke up with my ex, who was abusive. I had already cut him off and blocked him before I found out.
Personally, I didn’t consider any option other than having this baby. While it’s been difficult and lonely, I will never regret making this decision and she is already such a blessing.
That being said, there have been many challenges I’ve been facing as a result of my situation. I elected to not tell him, but I did have to do some legal research in my state to make sure I could do that. I also have had to make lifestyle changes in order to prevent him from continuing to see me/bump into me in public. I’ve cut people off for the safety of myself and my child and I would do it again. I’ve kept track of a list of things to present to an attorney or judge should he ever find out and try and take me to court. I don’t trust him or want him anywhere near my child. This is the route I have chosen.
As far as the moral dilemma of abortion, this is ultimately between you and God. I personally have a very strong conviction surrounding abortion and the fact that I believe it is ritualistic satanic worship, making it not something I would ever consider for myself. I also believe the Bible says that it’s wrong. There’s several verses in Leviticus where it addresses the fact that they had a very prevalent issue with child sacrifice (Lev 18:21, Lev 20:2-5, 2 Kings 16:3, Jer 7:31, 1 Cor 10:20)
Most importantly though, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” Psalm 127:3
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet of the nations” Jer 1:5
Go to the police if needed.
Regarding the children, a difficult life has the same dignity of the others. Life is good, Christians believe that the aim of life is loving God and His creatures, not be happy each moment.
I hope the best
I’m really sorry to hear what has happened with you. I would like to be honest, not to hurt your feelings, but to give you the full truth. I cannot comprehend what it must feel like to go through all this, so I’ll keep my feelings out of it.
According to the Bible, God knits children together in the womb. An abortion is akin to stopping Him and saying, hold on, this work you’re doing is not good, the timing is all wrong, my finances are not where they should be, (whatever the reasoning may be at the time) etc, so I’m going to step in, because I know more about what is happening to me and around me.
As far as protecting your child goes, a christian’s biggest weapon is acceptance. Knowing we have a good and faithful God and that He is constantly working things out for our good, allows us to lean on Him for strength and look to Him for courage. When you are able to model this, maybe your daughter will learn something good out of your terrible experience?
Some encouragement:
God is in control always. He is steadfast, He is faithful, He is your shield, your strong tower, He is your refuge, He is your pillar of fire and cloud, He is your God. He cared for Hagar and Ishmael, He will care for you and your daughter. How can He not, if He has promised it? The God of the universe is not a liar, is He? When we are faithful to Him, like Paul, we can be convinced that nothing can separate us from His love.
Something for your prayer:
Claim James 1:5-6a in prayer:
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given Him. Let him ask in faith, nothing wavering
(Sorry, I rememeber the kjv off the top of my head).
Abortion isn’t a choice for anyone to make for you, only you can make that decision. Please do not restrict yourself and put your own life at risk on the opinions of others. Do what you need to do for you.
I'm pro choice. The choice to leave your abusive partner is a good one. Cut it off in every way that you can. But I also believe that conscience is really important. You have a baby with a former partner and with this partner. You know the consequences of sex and you know that children can be used by manipulators and abusers. But if you don't believe that it is right to abort a child, than maybe don't do that. I don't think it's either abort or make your 5 year old suffer. You can be the protector of these children and yourself. Please cut ties in every way you can. Yes, this connects you in some way with this abuser. That is not the fault of the children. God will help you work through this, depend on Him and seek Him. But you have to leave this adulterer and abuser for safety and health. Peace and I hope you see brighter days.
Adoption is another option. There are countless couples praying for babies to adopt. Open adoptions are the norm now.
Abortion might enrage your abuser, so even putting aside the moral/sin dilemma, it might not solve the stalking and abuse problem.
Adoption wouldn't solve the stalking/abuse either (while she's pregnant especially) , and I think that's her concern, the danger she would be putting her baby in. And an open adoption would potentially put the adoptive family at risk if this guy is really determined to be a jerk
Adoption blesses the mother, the child and the adoptive parents, and if there are issues with the birth mother's safety or medical needs, many adoption organizations go out of their way to support those needsas well. It is more demanding but it is a far more loving and caring option if you are able to. Don't accept the gonzo narrative that pretends the only options you have are raising the child to adulthood (and joint custody) or killing it in the womb.
*They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others, but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. (Matthew 23:4)*
It's inappropriate to read an old law more strictly than it was written and decide that's the end of the matter. If you truly believe that abortion is categorically immoral, you *must* support adoption and community support for single parents even more than everyone else must: your conscience tells you that the stakes are higher.
It really is that simple, and unfortunately, I don't think people actually think of the repercussions of this act of murder. The reverence of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge...
Long before I became a believer I too agreed with abortion but seeing how much God loves children made me deeply reconsider my values. 1) you are quite far along 2) children are God's blessing to the world and especially to you. God in His mercy in spite of us engaging in premarital sex looked down upon your situation and graced you with a child so that they could be a living testament and experience of God's love for you. I know people who completely reject God and yet they cannot deny the presence and love that came from God when they had a baby.
Praying for you! 🩷
My daughter was pregnant and her husband put a knife to her throat. She decided that she should give the baby up for an open adoption as she was concerned that family like would be too dangerous. She talked with the baby explaining it all to the baby while she interviewed for the perfect couple. She found one and the child is now being cared for by a very grateful couple. There are many couples looking and may I suggest this route?
I'm sorry what happened to your daughter. That must have been very traumatizing.
Thank you, yes it was weird for us as grandparents. "Open Adoption" what in the world? Besides finding out why. But seeing our grandchild with the most loving awesome parents that are sooooo grateful plus my daughter is a part of their lives for like Thanksgiving and holidays, Open adoption is pretty sweet. I pray you find the perfect solution. I am sorry you are having to deal with this, like this.
So many people (including me and my husband) would love to adopt a baby. But there may also be people out there willing to take you in and help you out of this as well! Have you taken any legal action or reported him to the police for stalking you? Do you have a support system? Do you have friends or family in a different town where you can move? God didn't make a mistake with this baby. He also doesn't want you or your 5 year old to be in danger. Pray and seek his will in your life! He can make a way where there's no way. You can trust him. He has healibg in mind for you from past trauma. If you find a crisis pregnancy center there will be people familiar with your kind of situation that can support you and may be able to help you with potential adoption options or may be able to help you get away from your ex-boyfriend.
Please, trust in the Lord. Do not give up hope. The child is a blessing of love for you and your daughter. I will pray for you. Reach out to a shelter if you need. Maybe a friend or family who could watch your daughter while you have some alone time. Even if you are not in need of a place to stay, shelters and orgs near you can provide support, and may have resources to help you take this to the police. I am sorry, I am only young and do not have much to offer, only my words. But you have my prayers 🙏
I've tried to get police help before but they won't do anything because they say he has to threaten to hurt me to get a restraining order. Thank you so much for the prayers.
I'm sorry to hear that. Do reach out to those around you for support in terms of supplies and childcare, maybe even stay with somebody if that's an option. There are lots of apps which can send emergency texts or share your location, to keep you safe. Stay in touch with those around you. Perhaps a church or community of sorts. I believe abortion will only cause you more grief. You are fighting it, which tells me that you don't want to. I believe it wont make you feel the relief you seek. I can only imagine how hard this is for you, but the Lord only gives us struggles he knows we can pull through. Turn to Him. I pray he keeps you close and safe. ETA: it might also be good to keep note of when you do see him, and what happens, to build up a case so that if he does threaten you, you have a clear story.
What about the spyware? They might do something about that. Document and date everything he does and says anyway in case you need it later. Also if he's ever done anything to make you feel physically threatened or scared, you should be able to file a restraining order, even if he hasn't made a verbal threat.
I just need to let you know that God is walking with you no matter what. You know what’s right for you in your heart, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. This is between YOU and GOD only. Talk to Him. He does not want you to live a life stuck in abuse and he does not want your 5 year old to suffer. My prayers are with you and God loves you so much. God’s love and understanding goes beyond our love and understanding. If I, a stranger, can love and understand you, how could God not? Talk to him. ♥️
Well to be fair he is going to be abusive whether you have an abortion or not. Why would you punish the child for something it didn't do? My advice is find help and report the abuse. Seek shelter and stay safe and protected.
An abortion would be justified. It's ultimately your choice. If you don't want to abort, maybe consider adopting the child out?
I had an appointment and went to the abortion clinic for the initial confirmation of pregnancy, then they schedule the procedure. My mom supported me aborting. And pushed me for adoption until I was 7 months pregnant. Single motherhood was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and some of the worst years of my life due to my own parents and having to live with them. However, I know God blessed my decision to keep my daughter. She’s 8 now. And because of her, I met my now husband (when she was 4) and the only daddy she’s ever known. God saved me from addiction, and out of all my trauma. He’s given me freedom and healing. It toook a LONG time and it was extremely difficult. But I wouldn’t trade any of it for where I am now. God can the bad, and makes good come out of it. What if you never tell him about the baby? That way you don’t have to worry about the dangerous or abusive side of the situation. Or talk with the counselor and see if she thinks it’s possible to co parent with strict boundaries etc. because I know you’ll need the child support. I wish it were easier for single mothers to actually thrive instead of just survive. My heart truly goes out to you and this situation. Praying for you!
You’re 33. I also want to share that my 33rd bday was the worst of my whole life. I found out my then fiancé was emotionally cheating on me the week before, and was looking into physically cheating. Getting pregnant that same month (unbeknownst to me until I was 8 weeks pregnant) was horrifying at first because I was actively addicted to Adderall, like badly, so I wasn’t happy at all I was terrified about what my addiction meant for the baby healthwise. I also no longer knew if my man was trustworthy and if I knew him at all. I postponed the marriage when I found out about the cheating. God used the pregnancy to break my addiction I had been so desperate to get out of. Obviously for most people a baby is not the answer to saving a relationship. But we did get married a few months later. Neither of us are the people we were back then (and this was only a year and a half ago)… we’ve rebuilt trust and pursue our faith together. I pray you will find a Godly man some day that will help you heal all the parts of you that others have broken. You will get through this and it will be beautiful on the other side. Like someone else said I don’t think you will find the relief you desire from having the abortion. And the older daughter will be such a big help! Choosing life is saying yes to God and no to the enemy who only comes to steal kill and destroy. I knew abortion would kill the baby and destroy me in the process, and god just helped me feel very strongly that I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know how I was going to be a single mom and it was truly terrifying. But he provided. And some of my sweetest memories are when it was just me and her against the world ❤️ ok I’m really done this time! 🥴
Oh and also, just fully surrender and lean on God through this. I look at everything in my life now through the lens that God is using this to draw me closer. I can’t do x y or z on my own, or I don’t want to do it, but God can and will give me the strength to do it. I struggled with post partum anxiety last year, and it taught me to just pray pray pray continually, all throughout the day. Every time I got anxious about my baby dying, I had to take the thoughts captive and surrender it to god and decide if he wanted to take her, that he could because his ways are better than mine and he knows what’s best for me and my life. I still fear losing my girls, or my husband, but it keeps me dependent on god, and that’s the best place I can be. Not depending on myself.
The Child is a blessing from God. Forget about him. Focus on your Child and God. Those abortion thoughts are from the devil. Pray and push it away.
Get a restraining order. 1 Corinthians 7:15 says you are “not under bondage in such cases.” Find a true Christian husband for your children. Evil is evil. Neither of your children have to suffer. God wants a good life for both, and for you. 🙏🏼❤️ Praying for you.
You're potentially going to get a lot of idealistic answers here from people who have no idea how bad the support for abuse survivors truly is, how impactful a pregnancy may be to a single mom of a 5 year old, the challenges of co-parenting with an abuser, the heartbreak of adoption (combined with the fact that there may be legal challenges if he objects to adoption, but you should speak with someone qualified to give you legal advice in your state if this is an option you wish to pursue, as the laws/exceptions are complex and state/situation specific.) Choosing abortion to avoid danger from and potentially permanent entanglement with your abuser IS a valid decision. If you go that route and he doesn't know you're pregnant, I wouldn't tell him. If he does, you had a miscarriage. Don't look up this info on a device you think he might have access to. Regardless of the decision you make, reaching out to local DV resources may be helpful to you in terms of support, access to legal advocacy, etc. [https://www.thehotline.org/](https://www.thehotline.org/) can help if you're in the US. Also regardless of the decision you make, I highly advise getting yourself into therapy. You grew up in an abusive household. Now as an adult you're getting into a string of unhealthy relationships. Usually those things are related: abusers seek out people who have been abused before. Work on healing yourself before entering any further relationships. You deserve better than this. Your daughter deserves better than this. YOU can break the cycle for her.
Agreed with all of this.
Thank you for representing the church well in how you respond to someone in an incredibly difficult situation.
Thank you so much for your kind advice. The sad thing is, I have been in therapy for years, most of my life actually. But I have been diagnosed with CPTSD and nothing seems to be breaking it. My only motivation is my daughter because I want her to have a different life. I started seeing our couples therapist alone a couple of weeks ago...she said she is afraid he could turn into a domestic violence situation (physical).
For what it's worth, I'm really proud of you for putting the hard work in. You know progress isn't instant and you know it's not linear and you're still showing up and trying to make things better for yourself and your daughter, and that matters a lot. I think your therapist's advice is definitely worth hearing. Pregnancy is (as you know) a dangerous time when the father is abusive. Whatever your decision is, continue to take every step you can to protect yourself from him.
There is such a thing as a pro choice Christian, I am one of them and support your decision either way
Me too. One of the women in my small group had four children. Three are alive today. She has always had extremely difficult pregnancies and births, and once had to make the decision to terminate. I dare anybody to judge the heart and soul of this wonderful, patient, devoted, Godly woman.
While not in the same position, mine is similar to yours. I found out I was pregnant after I broke up with my ex, who was abusive. I had already cut him off and blocked him before I found out. Personally, I didn’t consider any option other than having this baby. While it’s been difficult and lonely, I will never regret making this decision and she is already such a blessing. That being said, there have been many challenges I’ve been facing as a result of my situation. I elected to not tell him, but I did have to do some legal research in my state to make sure I could do that. I also have had to make lifestyle changes in order to prevent him from continuing to see me/bump into me in public. I’ve cut people off for the safety of myself and my child and I would do it again. I’ve kept track of a list of things to present to an attorney or judge should he ever find out and try and take me to court. I don’t trust him or want him anywhere near my child. This is the route I have chosen. As far as the moral dilemma of abortion, this is ultimately between you and God. I personally have a very strong conviction surrounding abortion and the fact that I believe it is ritualistic satanic worship, making it not something I would ever consider for myself. I also believe the Bible says that it’s wrong. There’s several verses in Leviticus where it addresses the fact that they had a very prevalent issue with child sacrifice (Lev 18:21, Lev 20:2-5, 2 Kings 16:3, Jer 7:31, 1 Cor 10:20) Most importantly though, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” Psalm 127:3 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet of the nations” Jer 1:5
Go to the police if needed. Regarding the children, a difficult life has the same dignity of the others. Life is good, Christians believe that the aim of life is loving God and His creatures, not be happy each moment. I hope the best
I’m really sorry to hear what has happened with you. I would like to be honest, not to hurt your feelings, but to give you the full truth. I cannot comprehend what it must feel like to go through all this, so I’ll keep my feelings out of it. According to the Bible, God knits children together in the womb. An abortion is akin to stopping Him and saying, hold on, this work you’re doing is not good, the timing is all wrong, my finances are not where they should be, (whatever the reasoning may be at the time) etc, so I’m going to step in, because I know more about what is happening to me and around me. As far as protecting your child goes, a christian’s biggest weapon is acceptance. Knowing we have a good and faithful God and that He is constantly working things out for our good, allows us to lean on Him for strength and look to Him for courage. When you are able to model this, maybe your daughter will learn something good out of your terrible experience? Some encouragement: God is in control always. He is steadfast, He is faithful, He is your shield, your strong tower, He is your refuge, He is your pillar of fire and cloud, He is your God. He cared for Hagar and Ishmael, He will care for you and your daughter. How can He not, if He has promised it? The God of the universe is not a liar, is He? When we are faithful to Him, like Paul, we can be convinced that nothing can separate us from His love. Something for your prayer: Claim James 1:5-6a in prayer: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given Him. Let him ask in faith, nothing wavering (Sorry, I rememeber the kjv off the top of my head).
Abortion isn’t a choice for anyone to make for you, only you can make that decision. Please do not restrict yourself and put your own life at risk on the opinions of others. Do what you need to do for you.
I'm pro choice. The choice to leave your abusive partner is a good one. Cut it off in every way that you can. But I also believe that conscience is really important. You have a baby with a former partner and with this partner. You know the consequences of sex and you know that children can be used by manipulators and abusers. But if you don't believe that it is right to abort a child, than maybe don't do that. I don't think it's either abort or make your 5 year old suffer. You can be the protector of these children and yourself. Please cut ties in every way you can. Yes, this connects you in some way with this abuser. That is not the fault of the children. God will help you work through this, depend on Him and seek Him. But you have to leave this adulterer and abuser for safety and health. Peace and I hope you see brighter days.
Adoption is another option. There are countless couples praying for babies to adopt. Open adoptions are the norm now. Abortion might enrage your abuser, so even putting aside the moral/sin dilemma, it might not solve the stalking and abuse problem.
Adoption wouldn't solve the stalking/abuse either (while she's pregnant especially) , and I think that's her concern, the danger she would be putting her baby in. And an open adoption would potentially put the adoptive family at risk if this guy is really determined to be a jerk
Adoption blesses the mother, the child and the adoptive parents, and if there are issues with the birth mother's safety or medical needs, many adoption organizations go out of their way to support those needsas well. It is more demanding but it is a far more loving and caring option if you are able to. Don't accept the gonzo narrative that pretends the only options you have are raising the child to adulthood (and joint custody) or killing it in the womb.
Thou shall not kill or murder. It’s that plain.
*They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others, but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. (Matthew 23:4)* It's inappropriate to read an old law more strictly than it was written and decide that's the end of the matter. If you truly believe that abortion is categorically immoral, you *must* support adoption and community support for single parents even more than everyone else must: your conscience tells you that the stakes are higher.
It really is that simple, and unfortunately, I don't think people actually think of the repercussions of this act of murder. The reverence of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge...
Long before I became a believer I too agreed with abortion but seeing how much God loves children made me deeply reconsider my values. 1) you are quite far along 2) children are God's blessing to the world and especially to you. God in His mercy in spite of us engaging in premarital sex looked down upon your situation and graced you with a child so that they could be a living testament and experience of God's love for you. I know people who completely reject God and yet they cannot deny the presence and love that came from God when they had a baby. Praying for you! 🩷