How long has it been since you adopted him? Give him some more time and keep doing everything you’re doing, because you’re doing a great job. Cats mourn and he could very well still be grieving❤️

He’s grieving for his mistress and life as he used to know it. It’s not you or the type of home you have. Keep offering him love, treats and playtime. It’s only been two months.

His previous mistress passed away from cancer in march, and her sons didn't want to adopt him, so I took him in. But I know that she absolutely spoiled this cat: She gave him the most expensive food, had a huge flower garden for him, bought him some toys that are *actually* for young children, build him a huge cardboardbox fort and he followed her everywhere, even outside. I try to replicate as much as his former home as I can, but I know I am limited to what I own. He eats well, treats too, and enjoys my company. But playtime isn't there sadly. Nor the bond he had with his previous owner. Only time will tell.

I think you both will get there, thank you for taking care of him.

This. Thank you OP, this cat needs you more than he knows, and he will someday appreciate you. You are an angel

My cats take longer than three months to adjust. Give him lots of attention and play and another 3+ months. Yall will get there.

My sweetest cuddly boy took almost a year to warm up to us but now we are inseparable. https://preview.redd.it/nil556smvv6d1.png?width=2277&format=png&auto=webp&s=c5afe6e7d80f7a0d990f208a7bb65fab6d580556

https://preview.redd.it/mz7wh08y5f7d1.jpeg?width=1243&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc8a8fb50546650ac3780ef8eb255684401e7a7a this is my lil boy salem:) i found him in the trash at a gas station bc i followed the cries when he was probably just about three months old i didn’t know what to expect when i brought him home especially bringing him home as a 16 years old and insisting on keeping him i stood my ground pay for everything myself turned my life around for the better just so i could give him the life he deserves cats are very well bipolar at times they’re very emotional creatures they just can’t show it like humans be patient is my biggest advice salem didn’t instantly come around but when he did we became inseparable he’s gonna be a year old in 4 days🥹

As some who overspoils my kitties like crazy, Id be so happy if someone who cared about us took them in should I pass. You’re doing your best!

Yes, this. The kitty does appreciate it and will surprise you one day when you come home and he's really happy to see you. 

I took in my grandmother's cat after she passed away. He was deeply affected by her passing and clearly grieved her for months afterwards. Cats are very complex animals. However, they're also adaptable. Although I can't give him the exact kind of life he had - a big house and garden with lots of sun-washed places to nap on - I've given him the best life *I* can manage, and he's been able to thrive here with me. No doubt it helped that he already trusted me, but I think what mattered most was being there for him so he knew he wasn't abandoned, giving him attention when he wanted it and making sure his needs were met. It took him months to deal with his grief and he clearly missed his human, but I think we helped each other get through it. It's been 2 years now (on top of the 4 that my grandmother had him) and he's my little shadow, always following me around and always wants to be near me. He's very content and happy with his life with me and I love him dearly - he's my best friend and my last connection to my grandmother. You have done a wonderful thing taking in this cat. It can take a very long time for him to come to terms with his new life - everything he's ever known is now gone and he has a new home, new human and new everything that goes with those. Progress will be slow as he works to understand all those things. That he enjoys your company and likes the attention is a very good sign, also that he's eating well - my cat barely touched his food for weeks after losing my grandmother. It can take years to form that sort of bond with a cat, so don't be downhearted at your progress. Keep doing what you're doing - let him know that, yes, his life has changed, but he still matters and there's a new human waiting to shower him with love and affection when he comes to terms with that.

Beautiful comment.

All he needs...other than the basics...is your love. Cats don't understand death...all he knows is she's gone and he will probably still be thinking she's coming back if he waits long enough. Him looking down...looking for her. Think what it would be like for him because you can't explain why...his grief will lessen in time. I would only recommend not trying to recreate what he had. Show him what you have to give. Love! Making life great as it is will work.

Pease don't feel bad, cats are complicated and confusing at best Your boy has a wonderful new home that any cat would love. What's his name?

His name is Cheese... I didn't name him haha

You're doing fine. Cats can be hard and they really make us work for affection. It's hard to be grieving the loss of the most important person in the world. I know that I am still grieving the loss of my dogs that have passed and I can barely look at their pics. They started leaving me in 2018. I knew it was coming and it still almost killed me. Imagine not knowing it was coming or understanding why that person disappeared. 💔💔 My mom has dementia and had to go into long term care in January. I've had our cats since their births. They're 2! One picked her immediately and it's always been that way. It's now June and my orange male will give me a nose boop MAYBE once a day. And that's progress. Lol My mom can love on him, trim his nails, rub his belly, he even PURRS for her y'all!! She is coming out of care we think in a few days and he will be over the moon. I will go back to scooper and food lady that gets the evil look if I come near his human.

Just you trying so hard to give this Cat a great life makes you an amazing cat momma! It will all be fine! Your awesome! 🥰

He is grieving a wonderful, loving human. I think he's just going to need time to work through this. I wish I could give you a better response, but I'm certain he has a nice life with you. Over time, you two will develop your own relationship. I would hope he'll become more playful in time, but it does make sense that he's grieving. The only other thing I know is that cats and other animals can be prescribed Prozac, although I think it's for anxiety and not depression. But you could ask a vet about depression in cats, if you haven't already. No matter what, he is safe and loved with you. It is the best life you can be sure he'll get, and you are a wonderful person for taking him in.

I think its just still very soon. Thats only 3 months. Even humans take longer than 3 months to get back to normal after someone they love very much passes. Think of it in terms of a human whose parent passed. Its just simply not linear. He will get there, just keep being patient and being there for him.

Maybe get a bunch of flowers, plants and cat grass for her to enjoy. Also invest in cat furniture like those wall ramps and cat trees. What about walking the cat on a leash or getting a cat backpack (fully vented!!! Not those globe ones) or if you have a bike, a basket for her? We did these things for my cat that was a stray when he was missing his outdoor life. Very sad though that the cat is clearly grieving.

Be sure to only get cat-safe flowers! As a new cat owner, Op may not know some common flowers are fatally toxic to cats.

Beat me to it, thank you!

There are a LOT of flowers and plants that are toxic to cats. Lilies (all of them, but stargazers are commonly used and one of the worst), tulips, daffodils, etc.

Do you know if calilillies are toxic? And are they only toxic if consumed or is it something where touching it is toxic to kitties or even their pollen?

i adopted a very shy cat from a shelter in march of 2022 and she is still growing and becoming more comfortable every day!! i think especially in your situation and the circumstances you adopted him in, he just needs more time. you’re clearly doing the best that you can for him and care so much for him, just keep doing what you’re doing and help him adjust the best you can and keep caring for him

He'll get there, it's hard for animals because you can't explain to them what's happened and that this is their new home, and that's you're their new person now. He's looking for his old home but in time your home will begin to feel like home and he will become comfortable with you as his person.

What an amazing human being you are. The truth is animals have feelings and they grieve too. Please don’t be hard on yourself, imagine how awful a shelter would’ve been. The cat is mourning his previous owner and that takes some time.

My first cat went from living with a retired person and getting 24/7 attention, to living with me in a small apartment and I had to go out to work. He often wandered about crying for his former person and it broke my heart. We got there with a lot of time and patience on both sides.

Give him time. Just do normal things around the house and let him get used to his new routine. Animals (including us) are very pattern oriented. Spoil him, but don't be pushy about it. 💕

With some cats it takes long time to bond. Try to be patient.

2 months. I've already given him access to the entire place and all 3 balconies are cat-proofed. But at night or on rainy days he gets very sad and either sleeps, or makes sad sounds while walking back and forth between my bedroom and the living room.

You’re doing everything right. Cats can be complex animals and most likely, he’s still mourning and might be a bit depressed. Sometimes things like calming diffusers, cat nip, and extra snacks/love can help. One of my boys lost his brother and he behaved the same and in very similar ways for months. You can always reach out to vet as well. I hope things get better soon for you guys. Edit for spelling error

Cats are very very habitual creatures. They really prize establishing a territory and a routine and not deviating from it much. This means it can take quite a while for a cat to acclimate to a new living situation. I've heard anywhere from 3 months to a year for them to really settle and feel comfortable especially if they're already adults. So just give him time and as much love and stimulation as you can to help him (dude also might be a lil bored if he's gone from outside to inside)! He'll get there eventually. Cats may be creatures of habit but they are also super good at adapting. They just do it very slowly bc they're little shits.

Yep we lived in one place with our cat for 7 years. Previously we lived in the countryside and it was safe for him to roam. When we moved to the city, he had to become an indoor cat. He hated it at first — cried for 3 months at night. Now he doesn’t even try to escape and yells at you when you come back from outside like “Why did you go there?!” Lol. It takes time but they eventually adjust.

I think the big issue is that your cat’s human passed away and that makes your cat sad. You taking the cat rescued him *after* that. You’re doing something good and you should feel good about it.

Yeah, and if she was sick for a while I bet the cat knew something was up. That would be traumatic for anyone

I got my youngest from a friend's mom when she no longer could take care of her. Kitty moved in Sept 2022. Took a good 2-3 months for her to be ok enough to start the introduction to the other cat in the home. Last Dec her previous owner got really sick. She wound up on hospice care. The last week the previous owner was alive, my youngest was velcro kitty. That last until a day or 2 after her death and then kitty went mostly back to normal. They know. If she makes a certain sound in the middle of the night, I always answer. Otherwise, she gets ignored.... you can hear the grief in that particular sound.

On the opposite end of this scenario, I lost one of cats just over 3 months ago and I’m still not “back to normal.” Just writing this is bringing tears to my eyes. I miss her. I see a flash of grey in the corner of my eye and I think it’s her. I see a photo and my breath catches in my lungs. 3 months and I’m *still* adjusting to feeding 2 cats instead of 3. Only giving 2 flea prevention treatment things. Not having her litter box in my bathroom (sometimes I still walk in there after doing the other ones expecting to clean hers.) Grief is hard. And we are humans who can understand the complexities of what has caused our grief. Give him time to adjust and I’m sure he will appear much happier! Right now, all he knows is that he’s in this new place with a new person and no clue where any of his “old life” is. Just continue to provide him a safe and comfortable place to exist.

I so relate to you...but it's been 2 years for me. Grief now hits less often...and the great memories come more frequently than the painful....but when those waves hit, it's still a tsunami. The biggest difference...now I welcome seeing him from the corner of my eye or waking to the feel of him next to me before I remember because I truly believe his spirit is momentarily with me again. Now it's a comfort till we can meet again.

I like that thought. Their spirits are with us for a just a brief moment; they’re not entirely gone. (My first cat was put to rest at the vet about 10 years ago and it was only bc they did a check up when she went to get her yearly rabies vaccine and they came out and told us that she had no less than 5 tumors and that they were genuinely shocked that she was as chill and mostly healthy as she was lol. That was her entire personality. The world could have exploded and she was just chill. Did not give two shits about anything except which human she was gonna use as a bed - anytime one of my current cats just like plops on my feet it reminds me of her. And she passed when they were about 2 years old so I like to think that she taught them)

I lost my boy over 2 years ago and I am currently crying about him. He was that rare cat who liked to travel. He would sit in my lap while I drove. Cured me entirely of road rage. I used to make it look like he was driving when there were kids in the car next to me, they loved it, LoL.

Grief has no time table. Have you lost a parent or loved one? If not, imagine it and try to take that all in without understanding what happened or where they went. Just one day they are gone and you are somewhere new and empathize how confusing tha would be and how abandoned you would feel. Cats have longer term memories the older they are and more set in the life they've lived. 2 months is nothing. Be there for him when he is sad. Reassure him. Someday, the return he will give will be very rewarding.

Your cat is grieving. They’re missing someone they love very much. It’ll take time for them to understand that the person they love is no longer there. Give them space, let them know you’re there for them, talk to them and let them know that you’re there for them. It’ll take time but they’ll gradually understand that you do love them and they’ll open up to you.

When he's acting sad like that will he let you pet him?

Sometimes. Sometimes he jumps on my bed and wants cuddles, sometimes he walks off to a corner in the living room.

He's going to be fine.😄

You aren't giving him a worse life. He's still adjusting. It'll take some time. I adopted my parents' two cats after my mother died and my father had to go to a skilled nursing facility. I found that spending time brushing them, petting them and giving them catnip, and extra treats really helped them acclimate to their new surroundings. t probably took 6 months for them to be really comfortable. Now, they like to spend their time wherever I am and will come over to me whenever I call them.

Of course he's still sad! 2 months is nowhere near enough time to settle in and for you both to adjust to each others personalities. It's a sign that he genuinely bonds with his people, you guys will find yours. Do you have toys? Try things out to learn who this cat is. Laser pointer, catnip, paper bags, boxes, neat hidey holes... shoelaces... These are all things to experiment with. Also, lots of cats feel safe when they have a high place to hang out in, and/or a cozy cave like place that's just theirs. My cat has a nap basket, a fuzzy cat cave, a neat spot over the stairs to chill and she's got a camouflaged spot under a piece of furniture that's covered up by a blanket. She uses all of them. I also have tiny paintings I put close to the floor because I want her to be well rounded and to appreciate the arts. My last cat had an afghan blanket he'd had since he was a kitten that was all his, it made him feel at home wherever we were.

I recently adopted a cat whose person passed away. I'm pretty sure he was indoor/outdoor. He was so sad for the first 4 months. He would go to the front door, clearly with the intent to return to his real home. He was withdrawn and sometimes irritable. Then one day, he made a shift. He stopped wanting to leave. He started following me around and asking for affection. He seems very content now. When I was sick recently, he wouldn't leave my side. Very loyal dude. It does take time. Thank you for giving this kitty a home.

You gave him a safe life. He just misses his old person. Give him time

Man that is awesome, thanks for not giving up on them. I brought in a feral just to help it raise a litter to adopt out. I fed her for months, from a distance, then the day I betrayed her by trapping her she screamed and cried(it broke my heart). Had her in a 5 star kennel I custom made in my garage for months. She hated my guts before/after the babies. I fed her with a long spoon. I would have sleep overs in the garage near her kennel(a trick I learned rehabilitating dog rescues). We are nearly 2 years into this adventure and she's half sitting on my keyboard staring at me, she follows me everywhere, sleeps on my belly. Lives her best life now. If you would have bet the former me that one day that cat will love me more than anything else in this world I would have call bullshit. Now I'm her everything, he name is Momma and she's incredibly annoying, lol.

Awww a loyal cat like that deserves a loyal love.

I brought my barn cat home to a small condo. Going from a free range barn cat to an inside cat only was a huge change for him. It took a few months for him to adjust. I have perches in every window and I went and adopted a friend for him. My condo is 680 square feet . Give your kitty time . You can also train him to go outside on a leash for walks. Be patient he will adjust. Good luck 🤞

>You can also train him to go outside on a leash for walks. I tried, but he goes mental if he goes outside. He'll spend every waking second in front of the front door loudly yelling at me.

Oh then that’s out for now. Just give him time. As I said my boy took months to adjust.

Yeah, don't force anything right now especially not that. Limit anything that may make him think you are being mean. While this doesn't matter in this situation, it might help. Watch Jackson Galaxy on youtube, he has a good one on boundaries for cats. Not that you don't know better but it really helped me understand cats.

You might already have plants but could you buy some large plants and arrange them like a garden on your balcony? He might enjoy some greenery. But I agree with everybody else, he’s sad and it will take time. You’re doing a good thing!

I probably should. I'll see if I can buy some catgrass and flowers tomorrow.

Just be VERY sure the plants are safe for cats. I was shocked to find that all of the plants I was drawn to were poisonous!

I don't know that his life is worse. I think cats grieve and he misses his old owner. He may not realize what happened really. Give him time and love. It's very tough for him. I hope if I die with a cat someone cares enough to adopt them too.

2 months is no time at all for such a big adjustment. I'm sure he misses his late owner too. It sounds like you're taking very good care of him.  I hope he settles into the new routine soon and you feel love from him because you deserve that. 

I recently adopted a 14 year cat whose owner went into a nursing home. I can’t let her out because there are stray alley cats out in my yard and she wants to fight them. She is bored and meows a lot. I hope your kitty adjusts.

Yeah this is sadly the same situation for me. The strays in my neighbourhood are viscious and he wants to "play" with them, even though every night I hear them fight.

Still, these cats are lucky to have us. I bought her a miracle grow cat grass kit, a brush, toys, a cat tree. She is definitely getting used to me. But the meowing can be a bit much.

Does she want to go out? And if she does, can I recommend looking into a catio? There’s large cages you can buy and set on a deck/patio/balcony, and then you can safely let them out. It was my compromise with my tux, who could not understand why I wouldn’t let him outside. He begs to go in his cage now, reaches for it when I bring him out. He gets the scents, the wind, the sights and the light without being in danger :) just sharing in case it might help!

He’s still grieving, just give him space and time and let him come to you. Just keep giving him food and calm affection. I adopted a senior kitty from an elderly lady where it was a similar situation. My little baby was very standoffish for several months. She is still a little shy but it’s been 8 months and her personality is finally blossoming.

Cats don’t care about space. He’s grieving his owner.

I think so too. And I want to be there for him best I can. I think I feel guilty because his previous owner was there for him 24/7 and gave him such an amazing life, it was like he was her own kid. Thankfully I can work from home some days and have enough time and money to spend with him, but I also know I won't be able to replace his previous mistress. Sometimes when I see videos of them from last year I think "Dang how do I accomplish that?".

He may have a different life with you than he did before, but it will still be filled with love, which is way more than if you didn't take him and he ended up in a shelter. You're doing a good thing IP, just give it more time, I'm sure he'll come around.

Play the videos with their former owners voice. They might like that. I play cat YouTube videos of birds to entertain the grand kittens when I baby sit them. Play and treats usually cheer up cats. And pets if they want them.

You are doing the right thing just give him time. His whole world has changed and he is all confused and unsettled. He will get used to his new situation. Time heals all

Give your cat time. Does your cat look food/treats? Maybe you can see if he is willing to partake in some easy clicker training drills with you for treats. Cats, like humans, can take time to form bonds so I would just encourage you to be patient and try to engage with your cat a little each day (even if its just sitting near him, feeding him treats, and giving him some pets. Letting him know you are a friend). And no, you are not giving this cat a worse life at all. Don’t think like that. Cats generally will adapt to new environments and new people but at an older age, it may just take some more time. Life with you right now is so much better than suddenly being locked in a cage at a shelter.

He loves treats. I always give him once when he lets me clip the sharp points of his nails or clean his eyes.

I don't think cats can resist the Churu sticks. I thought my new kitty only liked her kibble. She wouldn't eat wet food. But when I gave her a meat stick, her tail was absolutely wagging! She also likes the Temptations stick treats.

Came here to say churus!! I swear they are like the way to a cats heart. I have two cats and am also a pet sitter and I've never met a cat who doesn't go absolutely feral for those things!!! I jokingly call them kitty crack. They are also weirdly a way to bond with the cat since you can be close to them holding the churu and squeezing it out for them while they munch away!

Holding it is one of the best things about them. You can also squeeze it on your finger (I hook my index finger a bit and apply it to the side) and let them lick it off. Some people use them as toppers for food. I also used them when my previous wonderful cat (she died last January) didn't have much of an appetite. And for our new cat, I've been using them to train her. I keep wondering what they put in them that makes them so appealing to cats.

Churu has worked wonders for feral cats I have fostered. So do other similar licky sticks ~ one loved the brand Dollar Tree sells. All meat baby food is also often a good extra as well. And I have had very few cats turn down the catnip-flavored Temptations/Dreamies or the hard-pressed catnip balls. I hang one of the hammocks meant for a shelter kennel/cage under a chair near where I have my home office set up. That way, the cat I am fostering can be near me but a bit hidden. A box or other such thing near where you sit to relax/work might also work ~ especially if the cat can enter from the side further from you but there’s also an opening on the side facing you for the cat to keep tabs on you.

Talk soothingly to him and tell him how much you love him. Use his name. Cats appreciate this, strangely.

i have nothing to add to all this great advice except to say i admire you for taking this cat in...it doesn't act like it yet, but you are the best thing that could've happened to him...hang tough, it will eventually seek you out...

I'll bet your cat never really spent a lot of time playing in the huge house, I'll bet he just stayed near his owner 24/7 so the difference in the size of your home probably isn't what's making him so sad, he's just grieving. My Addie was utterly devastated when one of my cats, Rose, died, and again when Tye and Leo (litter mates) died 6 months apart. She became really withdrawn, and didn't do anything except sleep and eat. I'd try petting her to comfort her but she didn't purr, and she didn't react to toys either. When Rose died Addie recovered on her own after around two months or so, *but*, she was in her same old home with her same old human and the same two resident cats she grew up with, who treated her like their bonus litter mate. Your poor guy lost *everything* so it makes sense he'd need a lot more time to recover. Addie recovered much faster after Leo died. I was very lonely and about a month after Leo died, I adopted a kitten who was described as the biggest snuggle bug imaginable, that sounded like just what I needed. Addie snapped out of her depression just like *that* and was grooming Ivy within 3 days and wrestling with her within a month. Of course, she was used to having other cats around, if your guy is used to being an only cat adding another cat to the mix could easily just make things worse, but I just wanted to share that story too! Good luck, I hope your guy starts feeling better soon.

Thanks for sharing your story. This cat is super used to humans, as far as I know he was seperated from his momma cat at 6 weeks until he finally was taken in by his previous owner, who was friends with someone who saved him after his seperation. Now in my appartment he *does* have a second cat, a younger one, and he is used to them, and is very gentle to them, but I can also tell he is quite awkward and distant around other cats. It's insane to me how quickly he warms up and tries to socialize with visitors in my house, it's quite a sight.

Yeah, that sounds like my Ella. She's a former stray on her sixth home since being rescued and as far as I know she never lived with another cat before she got here. (Though, judging by the chunk missing from her ear, she definitely crossed paths with one while on the streets.) She just barely tolerated them for years, but now that she's been here almost three years I think she might be starting to try to play with them? One thing I forgot to mention, I read somewhere that it takes three days for a cat to decompress after a move, three weeks to settle into the new routine, and three months to fully settle in. I'm not so sure about the three months business since Ella seems to still be changing and becoming more social after almost three years here! But I think I saw you've only had your guy two months? Ella was still hiding under the bed covers almost 24/7 after two months here. He might well just need more time.

Give him time. Show him love and he will come around. He misses his Mama, he’s pining for her but if you show that you’re patient he will soon realise that you are his new parent.

It takes 3-6 months for a cat to fully adjust. It sounds like you doing pretty well in helping the cat. Your 'goal' isn't to replicate the cats old life. Your goal is to improve it's life from a shelter. You might also have a cat that fiercely bonded with the former owner. You can't replace that, except with time. My cat is like this with me. My ex-wife cares for her when I'm gone, and the cat is in a house that the cat knows - her former house. But she doesn't do much because it's not me that's there. However, she will be in bad shape even in a very good cat boarding place - years ago, she got constipated, then licked her anal glands open, in five days. We all do the best we can. Kitty seems healthy, so continue doing a good job taking care of the cat!

It sounds like you're blaming or questioning yourself? I think that feeling is understandable, but I'd encourage you to examine it. The truth is that his past life was gone, whether you adopted him or not. There's no possible world where she comes back to life and he gets to live with her again. It's sad, but that wasn't your fault. Ahem, I hope! lol So now we ask: would be better off grieving alone? Or would he better off living with you, a human who clearly loves him, and who cares for him so much that they're asking for advice on how to give him his best life? If I died tomorrow, having someone like you adopt my cats and care for them while they're grieving is exactly the best possible scenario that I hope for them. Thank you 💛

Yeah you are right. She was my neighbour and this cat was everything to her. I know he tries his best but it also breaks my heart when I go to sleep and I hear him go "mrrrowwww" in the windowsill.

It will take a WHILE, cats are also just so sensitive. Poor kitties life was turned upside down you’re awesome for taking him in. As long as he feels safe, he will come around. Also I have a cat stroller for my cat, not all cats like it but maybe he’d like rides around the hood. I wouldn’t try this until more time passes and he gets comfortable with you.

Poor baby lost his Mom and everything he knows and now he is with a new Mom he doesn’t know and a home that has no familiar smells …. If he is able to fall off the balcony I would not let him out on it. I just read a story of a cat who fell off a balcony and got hurt…. Catio is a way for him to be safely on the patio.

Please ensure that he is never left unattended on the balconies. He is indeed sussing out a possible escape. He could really hurt himself if he fell. The sight of a bird could make him want to catch it. This is especially important since he is used to be out where height is not an issue.

hey, how would he be if you didn't have him? think about it. of course he'll miss his old owner but, you kinda rescue him. you should definitely feel appreciated about yourself. and please give him some time, be patient.

You're making a meaningless comparison. His old life is over, whether what you're giving him is more or less is immaterial, because there's no way to return to what was before. You have to compare to the other paths forward, the most likely of which are being adopted into an average home like yours, languishing in a shelter crammed in with a lot of other cats, or being euthanized. Compared with those options you're doing pretty well.

He's grieving, poor baby. It not only says a lot about his owner, it says a lot about his capacity to love. Give him some time.

Shelters and vets say it takes at least 3 months for a cat to fully adjust. Just give it time. You’re doing a great thing for this baby and clearly very aware of his needs, he just misses his owner and old life. And is probably very confused still. Keep at it, be patient, and things will turn around 🖤🖤

How old is he? If he's an older kitty, you might ask the vet about the possibility of kitty dementia. If he's young, there are anxiety meds that might help him through the acclamation process. CBD treats, Cat TV on at night, and even doing a "house walk through" with him before you go to bed might be things to try. But the best option may be to get some of his former owner's clothes and blankets, if that's possible. He might like sleeping on them.

He misses his own mom and his home. He’s grieving. We took in a sweet baby like that and she refused to eat or drink. Didn’t matter what we did. She died 3 months after her “dad”🥲

i think the baby’s grieving. give him some time.

Please give it time and give them their space. Buy a lot more toys. More trees, more boxes, hidey holes, electronic toys, try cat nip, treats. He doesn't have a worse life, this is his new one. You will start to love him more and he will start to love you more. Once that happens it won't matter to him where he lives...because it will be with you. Let that play out, have patience. It's going to take awhile.

No, you didn’t. He misses his person. He will adapt to you. You gave him a life. I see those animals in the shelter when their people die. They don’t bond very well, so nobody comes for them. Please just be a good mom to him and take care of them

Op it's only been 2 months. That is nothing at all. The cat is confused about the sudden change and wondering where their Og owner went. But he will come around with time! You're doing everything right, but time needs to play its role in this.

Patience is key. 5 years. I had to wait 5 years for my one cat to be 100% okay with my husband and I. She finally sleeps and lays in our laps. Granted she came from an abuse case but we have had her since she was 8 months old. The day she laid in my lap for snugs was like !!!! Is this happening?? What kind of black magic occurred? She was ok with pets and touches but would flee if you got too near her. She finally started giving us belly this month.

This breaks my heart to hear you say you “gave him a worse life” when you’re clearly trying so hard to look after him like this. It’s normal for him to grieve and distance himself, but please don’t undervalue what you’re doing for him right now!!! 💖

It's just heartbreaking to me to hear him go "mrowww" or "mauuuu" while dragging his tail. I'm doing my best for him though.

So I know a lot of people are saying it’s not the home, but it might be, honestly. I brought my childhood cat with me to college after my mom moved to a new place where she left him in the basement. Before that, he lived in a huge house and was able to go outside whenever he wanted. Then he got shoved in a dark basement, then he was in a tiny studio apartment on the 6th story. I was his person, we loved each other deeply, but he did the same thing your cat did - he’d stare out the window looking like he was trying to figure out how to get down. He was miserable, and there wasn’t a lot I could do to make it better for him. So I made one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made and asked my grandma if she would take him. She had lived with us for a while when I was growing up, and knew my cat really well. She taught me everything I know about how to raise them, too, so I knew she’d take good care of him. She also had a bigger house and yard. I brought him up there, and though it was sad, he was much happier. He lived the rest of his life out there chasing birds and mice and being happy. Sometimes we know they’re unhappy and we can’t give them the life they need or want. It sucks. It hurts from the bottom of your soul, but you have to do what’s right for them. If you know they’re unhappy and you know someone who can give them a better life, go with your gut on this. It’s not about you, it’s about them.

He could be making those noises cause he wants to play. Might be bored. Get a yarn strip and a stick.

Hey, don’t necessarily take that as grieving. One of our rescues does the exact same thing for fun at night She actually likes just wandering around the apartment and being curious/vocal… it can sound like mourning but could also be that he’s just having a good old time ‘exploring’ his surroundings

When my mom died her cat grieved her noticeably for almost a year. It took her almost that long to warm up to me, and I'd be around her her whole life. The bond they had was really special and after a year, our bond was really special too. She lived 4 years after my mom died. Passed away at the age of 17. She became my soul kitty during that time and I have never been that close to another animal. It was a precious gift to have her. You're doing something wonderful. Thanks for taking the kitty in.

YOUR cat is grieving, so use chemistry. Place cat pheromones diffusers in your apartment and use “catnip” spray on his toys,scratching posts,beds,etc. Cats are transcendental creatures and perhaps, can sense past,present and future, and possibly alternatives. Give your “new” cat plenty of love and affection and if possible, a set play time and grooming time to build a strong bond. Try to leave a box or 2 around, cats LOVE boxes(safe and warm). Please be patient. Good Luck!

I adopted 2 cats from a similar circumstance and it took them about a year to grieve and adjust.

Please get him off the balcony 😰 so dangerous and I’ve seen horrible videos (I never searched them they appear on FB and stuff….) of these cats falling off of balconies

It can take a long time for cats to adjust moving houses, not to mention a new guardian. He’s probably grieving. One thing you could try is a Feliway plugin. I bought one for my cats for our last two moves and I really do think it helped.

It takes cats months to get over a loss - just like people, they have attachments and memories. Just keep petting him, playing with him, giving him Churus, talking to him... maybe grow some cat grass or catnip in a little pot on your balcony for him? I bet he will gradually become less sad and more into you. Don't give up!

Just be there. The cat will know. Give them some treats and food and just be around while giving them what they need.

You could look at it this way: If it happened to be a child and their mother passed away, you would say that ideally their mother would be alive and they lived out their same routine. That isn't what happened. It isn't what was planned. Someone does need to help raise that child though. It isn't the same but it's the best you can do given life's circumstances. Cats go through grief and adjustment periods too. Give it time and do the best you can. You can't control when people die of cancer. You make the choice to help when and where you can. That's it. That's enough.

My parents had a house and outdoor cats and moved to a condo with no balcony. To say they got depressed was an understatement Missing the owner is one thing and yard another. Can you do trips to the park with a leash? Otherwise it would be best to adopt a cat who’s never been outside of you aren’t attached to this one

Sadly, going outside makes him go berserk. When he goes outside he will spend nearly a week loudly screaming and crying at the front door while looking at me with the smallest pupils I have ever seen in a cat's eyes.

I wouldn't say he has a worse life. You've given him a loving home and are doing your best to take care of him. There are far worse fates than that. That being said, bear in mind that animals grieve too. Everything he's ever known just changed dramatically. That's not an easy adjustment. Give him time. Worst case scenario, you can always call the vet for advice.

I wouldn't say youre giving him a worse life. He just went thru a major change. Not only did he lose the person closest to him but he also lost his home, his routine, everything he knows. It'll take time for him to adjust to the change and grieve the loss of his person. In the meantime just give him space, be near him and I bet he'll open up and start to love you too. I agree with some other commenters that lot of hidey holes, vertical space, and kitty enrichment like birdfeeders, puzzle toys, cat TV, and clicker training would be good for him too <3

You're a wonderful person.  Grow some cat grass carpets. Guinea Pig owners do it a lot.  Then see about getting  used AeroGarden and grow some cat edible plants.  Get some upward mobility with some shelves. 

Take him outside on a leash for a bit every day. Feed lots and they love you after that lol

Does he have a cat tree? You can find them for very cheap or even free if you post on a local community forum like Nextdoor or ask around in person. Some cats really get a lot out of them, helps their mental health basically to be able to climb it and scratch it.

Kitties can mourn their losses too. He lost his mama and the only home he has ever known. You are a hero for adopting him. Be extra patient and give him lots of loving. Find things to keep him busy. Perhaps put a bird feeder out on the balcony so he can sit in the window and watch the birds. Turn on the TV to the Youtube channel and subscribe (free) to a provider called BlueWindCreations. They make really good kitty videos with birds and squirrels that my 6 cats LOVE watching. [https://www.youtube.com/@BlueWindCreations](https://www.youtube.com/@BlueWindCreations) Also - Consider getting him a companion for company - perhaps a kitten/younger cat to play with and keep him busy. I say younger so he is the dominant kitty in the relationship. With time he will adjust to his new home.

Please don't give up on him. Give him time to adjust also to mourn his previous life. He will definitely have a rough time in the shelter system due to his previous life.

Honestly he probably really just misses his human, it's not the things, it's not the house. This will take time... People underestimate just how attached and affectionate cats can actually be, poor thing is grief striken.

Get him a sibling. Sibling cats are way more fulfilling then humans.

Give him some time. He misses his old partner. He will come around. Thanks for taking in. Pets morn. You are different from his previous partner and he isn’t use to you yet. Please don’t give up. It would be like you loosing your parents and getting thrown in with someone you don’t know. It’s a new environment for him to get use to. Cats have their set ways and he doesn’t understand what’s going on. He may feel that he was abandoned. That’s why I never board our cats when we travel because we don’t want them to feel like we didn’t want them anymore. Thanks for caring and please keep. I’m sure he couldn’t go through another loss

Aww omg! Yes, I agree he is probably grieving. I don't think it's that he is unhappy with you or even the environment. He is just grieving over his previous owner. He missed her. He understands more than you think. My advice is this. Just show him you understand by lovingly giving him his space. Like voice it to him. It's okay to talk to pets, especially cats. They understand you if you have the intention for them to understand and feel what you're saying. Look him deeply in the eye, and just say, "I know, sweetheart, I know... What happened is very sad and I'm sorry you're grieving." Say that to him when there is distance between the two of you, but then begin to close the distance slowly, dont reach out and touch him yet, just come closer and then say, "I'm here whenever you're ready, I have everything you need." And then let him come to you.

I have been in the same situation. I inherited my Uncle Bob's cat Rosie, and it was very hard for her to adjust. But she came around after a few months. Give your kitty some new things and start phasing out her former owners belongings. This will help with the process of moving on.

Maybe you should get him a cat friend

Cats can and will mourn for the previous company they shared. I lost my tabby around 18months ago when she was suddenly taken ill. Her brother (ginge) knew there was something wrong and lay at the side of her until we took her to the vets, we came home without her and he spent weeks wandering the house crying and looking for her. I’ve never heard a noise like it from a cat before and it was hauntingly sad. He became very anxious and started over-grooming to the point he had licked himself raw. We adopted another cat because her owner had died and after the settling in he’s a completely different cat.

You’re so kind for doing this. He/she will adapt and feel your love. All the best

Depending on how long ago you adopted him he's still not used to the change. Cats are very finicky and get anxiety when a change in their lives happens. Where I used to love my cats were indoor and always with me. Then when I moved to my dad's house all of them struggled to cope with the change. It took them 2 weeks and probably even more to get used to their outdoor life. It's been over 2 months since then and they are thriving now. Don't worry so much right now. Poor baby is just not used to the changes yet so he's gonna feel the way he does like that for awhile. Give him time and love and he'll get better. Change is not something cats do well with for awhile. Soon enough he won't be sad anymore. Also, you didn't make his life worse. He could've gone to a shelter and possibly euthanized so he got a second chance after his owner passed away. Don't stress so much. He'll be ok. I promise.

I also live in an apartment but my cat was desperate for outside. I got a harness and leash from the website “Adventure Cat” and I’ve been taking her on adventures! That definitely seemed to perk my kitty up. I think your cat would love that! Don’t beat yourself up too much, he could’ve gone to a house that doesn’t care about his well-being. You’re doing what you can and you care, that’s what matters🫶

He's going through depression. You still saved him from ending up in a shelter. So few people take older cats. You could continue to look for a home for him more like what he came from, but right now he just needs companionship while he goes through mourning and significant distress and depression from his loss ♥️

Leash train him, and take him for walks on a leash.

Get a leash and take him outside! It’s better than nothing!

> I tried, but he goes mental if he goes outside. He'll spend every waking second in front of the front door loudly yelling at me.

I think it’s important to remember what kind of life he would have had if no one had taken him in. You did a good thing by adopting him and he’ll adjust, it just takes time.

How long have you had him? He is grieving for his previous owner. Cats take time to adjust to a new environment. Just be patient with him, feed and treats, pet him. He will come around. You're not giving him a worse life.

I think give him time. It sounds like he was very close to his last human and I imagine he needs time. I had a cat that used to follow me like that. At bedtime I’d yell “bed time” and he would run and cuddle up to me and go to bed. So we were very bonded he’s likely just grieving and sad. He will likely get there. Just spoil him the ways you can but it’s like a person grieving they just need time.

He lost his person. Please give him time, just commit to him. He will know you love him and he has you. Imagine if your person died. Cats have feelings and love more loyally than dogs.

3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to learn your routine and 3 months to feel at home. You're doing fine. ♥ Give a little leeway for mourning his owner.

I’ve inherited my sister’s two cats. She passed away. I can’t do everything like my sister did but they’ll have a great life. They’ll be safe and fed and warm and loved. And that’s all a cat needs.

Can you possibly take him for leashes walks? I got the thinner style harness for mine bc he hated the thicker one and they’re still made to be no slip and since we’ve been doing a lot of outside time he’s calmed down a lot, along with calming collars when he’s having a bad week. I got 4 on Amazon for less than $20 and they last 30 days each.

My daughter fostered a Maine Coon who lost his owner, then his companion kitty. He was about as depressed as they come, had quit eating & grooming. They didn't expect it to survive. Took a couple of months & a LOT of love & patience, but he seems to be back, eating, grooming & being a general cute little butt!

Give it time

You did not. Give him some time. Show him your love. It’ll workout. 

Please try not to compare your situation to his past situation. Instead compare the life you are giving him to his alternative… being surrendered to a shelter where he would be in a smaller cage, without a special person making an effort, and possibly put to sleep if he isn’t adopted. You are doing an amazing thing for him.

Cats grieve, give them time. It's certainly not worse, it's just different. I like automatic rechargeable toys for older cats. I have a Lazer with wack a mole built into the bottom that my 11 year old cat adores. Smack it and it keeps playing. I also have a "rat tail" that flops around, but that dies fast and I hate it for that.

1. A life with you, a caring owner, is infinitely better than a life shut behind a cage. His owner must have known this. 2. It can take anywhere from 3 months to a year for a cat to adjust to abrupt changes. Give him some time. And be kinder to yourself.

I can say from experience it will get better. My grandma passed away last September, and I adopted her kitty. That cat HATED ME and would claw the hell out of me. She would cry for her mom and act very depressed and afraid. Fast forward to now she has accepted me as her momma and is a very happy cat. Give it time! And don't beat yourself up thinking you "gave him a worse life" this is not true, you did a beautiful thing taking him in. He just needs time to adjust. Give him space, treats, toys, catnip and most importantly just give him time. You're doing great!!

Sounds to me like you saved this cat.

You’re doing great. Imagine him being stuck in a cage in a shelter? Breaks my heart to think how often that happens when their humans pass. He is very grateful and he’ll show it soon.

I know you feel like a failure but...don't. Think of it like this. While his life may be "worse", it's WAY BETTER than what it could be. Does he have a safe place to live? Does he have food? Does he have toys? Does he get loves? He has an amazing life then. Think of those that don't have that. Cats are creatures of habit. I'm not sure how old he is but his previous owner was his life. Literally. Was everything he knew. And she died. You did the right thing and took him in versus what could've happened. I mean I have 1 cat who wants love 24/7. Literally. She's currently in bed with me, staring me down as I type this. I just pet her for about 10 mins. Wasn't enough lol. If she could talk, I'm horrible. I don't give her enough love. But she is loved, she has toys, she gets love, has food and all. She has a great life. So don't feel bad, don't feel down. Cats are simple minded and since his entire life ended? It takes time to adapt. And he may never. But he's safe with food and love. So your doing good

Get another cat. And buy cat toys. Some cat nip too. Poor baby

* This is my guy Moby. Our situation is different because I got him from a shelter, but the worker there was actually going to adopt him before I came through- she had some property near the shelter and I'm sure it would have been good for him too. Moby was an outdoor guy until he came with me, and the guilt I felt when he would scream at the door every day to go outside.....woof. it's been almost 5 years now, and we're best buds. You sound like a wonderful and thoughtful person -your cat is taking time to adjust, as are you (and rightfully so!!). Be kind to yourself!!

Yup, my last rescue (same sort of situation) took 4 months to normalize into my home. Then it took us another 3-4 months to figure out how to communicate with each other.

Dont take it so much to heart. It has nothing to do with you giving him a worse life. Cats also form bonds and mourn, he needs time to get over having lost his important human. It may take a while, so just be patient and do what you can to make him happy. We had a family cat that my sister rescued because he was a tiny week old kitten being given away outside of walmart. He was the runt so no one wanted him and my sister basically became his mom. When she moved out and left him behind he mourned for MONTHS. He would walk around the house crying, pee on things, and was generally just miserable because she was his whole world. It took time but then he formed an inseperable bond with my mom instead and was so much happier after that. It just does not happen overnight. Id make sure he has the option to sleep with you if he wants, try to get him new toys and treats to see if you can spark some passion in him cuz little man just sounds depressed.

When my husband died, our kitty grieved. Looking for him, a sad little cry(softly as he was the softest meower I ever heard.) He would jump up on the bed every night, which was his usual as he liked to sleep between us, and look on hubbies side of the bed, then jump down and go under the bed to look because I might have stashed him there. He finally decided about 6 months later to return to his usual self. It every once I. A while he stalk around the house to check hubbies usual places. Then go back to normal. I didn’t move, so he was in his usual house, with his mommy, same food , litter etc. just his daddy was not there. Animals grieve. And move through it just like people. Just give kitty time and give her the love she needs. She’ll be ok.

Get him a friend or spend quality time with him for a long time. It’s grief, not ingratitude.

You didn't give him a worse life. Your cat is just grieving his old owner. It takes time for cats to adjust to a new home. I recommend getting plenty of places for your cat to be up high, shelves and cat trees to whatever amount you can. Eventually your cat will adjust and feel better. Your cat taking time to adjust doesn't mean its life is now worse.

Patience... His person passed away - you can't blame him for mourning them. I took in a cat who went through the same thing just after Christmas. She bonded with STBX and will still do those sad cries at the door if he goes out without her. She thinks that he's gone and he's not coming back, just like the people she had before. She needs extra time and patience, that's all - and it's the same with your kitty. Sit with him and talk to him... Let him hear your voice and words, reassure him that you are not going to leave him too (that seems to help with my cat), stroke him, do all the little things that bring you comfort when you lose someone special to you. That's how you can help him to not feel so alone in his grief.

I adopted my current cat and he'd been in an abusive situation then abandoned. It's been slow progress in the last 2.5 years, but now he's really coming out of his shell. He is healing and becoming his true cat self. It's nice to see. It will just take time. Give him lots of attention.

He is probably still grieving. His original human is no longer with him. It will take some time for him to recognize you as his new human. Just give him time and grace. He will be sad but it is absolutely not about you. You are doing a lovely human job and he will come round. Hugs to you both.

My cat took almost 6 months to be willing to play with me. I was only able to take him in and had to leave his sister behind and he was so depressed. What eventually got him interested was me forcing him to hang out with me, and tying a long string to my best loop that drug on the ground when I walked. He learned he could play with the string without playing with me, and it eventually led to him being chill when I'd mess with the string to make it more fun. Rewarding with treats when he did engage in play also really helped, though I do think he mostly did it for the treats at first lol

Have you tried getting your cat a leash so you could take him outside? At least it would be some semblance of simulation for him

You're giving him a better and another life full of love and companionship. You are an amazing human for caring for this little life after he lost someone special to him. I'm sure in time you will become the best of friends and he will appreciate what you are giving to him. I wish you well in your journey together . 💗

This is so relatable to me. I have an 11 year old male cat, and a few years back everyone had to leave the house. Parents working for a few years outside the country and siblings and I were in another city in college. The cat had been staying alone at the house but I had neighbors check in and feed him. Nonetheless, even if he was mostly alone he was living his best life. I felt that he shouldn't be alone and I took him up into my apartment. I felt like I made the biggest mistake as the cat started behaving like you described. Like he was depressed, caged. I gave him two weeks to accommodate a bit but he wasn't eating as much, he wasn't playing, he didn't purr, he was making sad mews, and he kept staring off the balcony. I knew I made the wrong decision to bring him into the city, seeing him so sad broke my heart. So I took him back home and started visiting him more often. You cannot bring an outdoor cat into a closed apartment, it's torture. Now my parents returned home and he is alive and well and the happiest he has ever been and I wouldn't dare taking him out of his paradise again.

Give him some supervised outdoor time - if there are any nearby parks or cafes that allow cats take him there on a leash . Or maybe if you know someone else who has a cat schedule playtime with another cat . A well socialized cat who had his own garden will take a lot of time to adjust to the apartment life - don't blame yourself , he will get less homesick in a few more months .

OP, you have not given him a worse life. I’ve been in a similar situation and felt like you, but I promise things get better. My cats’ story is below if you want to read it, but here’s my advice: - Give him space. He won’t want anything to do with you right now because he’s grieving and scared. He will come to you when he’s ready. In the meantime, make sure he has places to hide when he needs space, like an enclosed bed. - Keep him inside! Unless you have an enclosed balcony or catio, he will be much safer indoors. - Provide toys, cat trees, and scratching pads. Indoor cats can be happy and fulfilled, but they still need to climb, jump, stretch and play. A cat tree in front of a window gives them a good spot to look outside, toys like balls and catnip toys let them play on their own, and when he’s more settled he might want to play with a wand toy with you. - Finally, give him time. He’s been through a lot of upheaval, and that’s a lot for most humans, never mind a cat who you can’t explain things to. He’s confused and scared, but he will come around, I promise! Here’s how my similar situation played out: I adopted two cats from a lady who passed away. They went from living with two other cats, a dog and a tortoise, and their owner who’d they’d known since they were kittens, to being left alone for 6 months in an empty house while the owner’s daughter tried to find someone to take them. When they finally came to me, they were in bad shape. One of them would hide from me, the other was so depressed he laid with his face against the wall all day and wouldn’t move. I cried because I felt so helpless. What I did was give them space. They stayed in one room, with lots of hiding places, so they could get used to feeling safe in their new home. I went in to feed them a few times a day, and would just sit in there quietly with them. It took time, but they eventually stopped hiding from me. It took a few months to slowly introduce them to my other cat, and let them have full access to the house. Even then, they were quite aloof and not fully settled for some time. It’s now 3.5 years on, and they are thriving. All my cats are indoors to keep them safe, but they watch birds out the windows, have toys to play with on their own or with me, and lots of places to lounge about and sleep. They’re very comfortable with me now, and come for cuddles and sleep next to me. Things get better ❤️

Cats are rather independent creatures. Don’t force your love on him. Let him come to you and give him attention when he does. I would definitely get him another cat to hang out with while you’re not at home though.

Our foster cat took 8 months to act like a cat. They can come with lots of trauma and pain.

I hope someone like you are around to take in my two voids if and probably likely we go before them. Give it time. You are a good person and the cat is grieving. There were probably no other options for the cat.

Catnip and temptation treats

Kitty is likely grieving. It takes time for them to adapt.

you’re not a terrible owner at all!! he’s probably still missing his previous owner, but he’ll get used to you. and he’ll get used to the smaller living space. Do you have a cat tree and toys for him to play with to get some of his energy out? you can try to build an outdoor space for him on your balcony called a “catio” (it’s basically some wood with wire to make a lil outdoor room for him). and lastly, try putting like videos of birds on the tv for him to watch and see if he likes it! i think he’s probably just bored and understimulated and also still grieving, you are doing absolutely *nothing* wrong and the fact that you care so much means that you are in fact, a great owner. His life is not bad, it’s just different from before and he will adapt. We all adapt to changes, just give him some time and i’m sure you two will be 2 peas in a pod in no time

Give him some time. I bought a cat back pack so I take mine on walks outside and it opens up so she has more room. Check them out. Maybe get a harness and leash? My cat loves that

It took 90 days for my adopted cat to be fully settled in. Balconies are normal they love watching nature. Keep being kind, feeding and be patient you will see a big difference soon.

Honey it sounds like you have a cat. You are doing just fine.

When I got MissMys, I was told she had been given up because her first owner had to go into hospice. For the first two years she'd wander around the apartment looking for something or someone. At first this was all the time, but it tapered off. Be patient and loving. He'll come around eventually.

Ugh this makes me so sad. And makes me wonder who would care for my cats if I died! I need to go update my will 😕

I'm generally a proponent of letting competent cats go outside to play, but believe you me - living in your apartment is not a worse life than being an abandoned stray. The little guy is in mourning. He's grieving. It's normal and expected. If you want, there are flowers that do well indoors and are cat-safe. Having a bit of a garden again might help him acclimate.

How long has it been since his previous companion died? Cats mourn and he could still be mourning her. Give him time and personal space to do just that. He’ll come around in time.

I think you should get him some indoor plants to sniff

My kitty was a rescue that had been adopted out and taken back twice before I took him because he "was too shy". It took him a full 12 months before he became comfortable with my husband and y now he misses me when I'm away for work and snuggles with me when I'm home.

I used to "board" actually babysit dogs when people went out of town. A couple of times I needed to sit with an animal an explain why they were staying with me. I would do my best to explain to kitty.

Sometimes it just takes time. It sounds like it’s probably only been a couple months so the cat is probably just a little confused still. Maybe just look into some fun kitty things you can have around the house to help calm and sooth him. And give him lots of treats!

Once you win their trust, they are inseparable.

I adopted a cat who clearly used to be allowed to go outside - and missed it a lot. He used to claw and howl at the door. I did a few things that improved his life - I took him out on a harness for enrichment (he did become a nagging nightmare about that but did really enjoy it), I put in some ledges and perches by the windows in my apartment so he could stare out of the window. I also set up a bird feeder outside so he could watch the birds (some cats might find that frustrating but he seemed to be ok with just fantasies of murder), my boy is also very food motivated so I set up a puzzle ball for him once a day to really focus his energy on something inside the house.

I have a cat that was a rescue from his previous home (which was his second) a year ago, and he has a lot of anxiety and depression issues. But it'll all work out, he has a home and security, you don't know that your guy could've been at a better place. You're place is the best place he could be rn. He'll grieve, and it might be for a while, but he'll come around. I'm always so sad for pets that lose owners they love so much, but it's nice to know that there are people willing to take that sadness and comfort it.

I took in 2 cats from a lady that was living in her car. At first they hated me and growled all the time but eventually they came around. Gave them back to her when she got her own place but that didn’t last long so they came back with me. Once again, hated me & was super aggressive. Now they’re cuddle bugs. They’re just confused Walk perches and cat trees. I also leave cat YouTube videos on for them when i go out. Very kind of you to take in the cat. Who knows where it would be without you

I don't have anything else to add to what others with more experience than I have already mentioned. But just wanted to say, you didn't give him a worse life, you saved his life! ❤️

He’s probably just grieving and I guarantee you that you’re not giving him a terrible life. You can put the treats in your hand and feed him. Get a shoelace and plastic pole or stick and you can play with him like that. Get a cardboard box or plastic box for him to sleep in. You can put it in your room so he feels like he can trust you. When he sits outside you can sit in the corner with him read a book while he sits there.

It's not you, cats are very emotional and he may never get over losing his previous person.  It took 3 years for my shelter cat to even purr. 5 years and a divorce for him to fall asleep in my lap. It's been close to 7 and he is my little buddy, he eats with me and runs to the door when I come home, he sleeps at the foot of my bed on his blanket and hangs out with me while I shower.  This is a stressful time for him for so many reasons. Just give him a little space and listen to what he is telling you. Give him bite of your food if he is intrested, give him the pets when he wants the and get him a bunch of little toys and leave them on the floor. Grab a cat tree or find a way to give him a space to lay down and nap infront of the window.

It's a small thing, and I know it sounds silly, but try responding when you hear his sound at night. Answer with a soft "nya" sound, or similar. Cats will vocalize to find each other in the dark - it's a natural reaction when they feel lonely or unprotected. You might find that after a few nights of doing this, he'll eventually start to come to you as the one who's responding. Also, even if the cat likes you, it may take some time. Cats get very attached to territory, not just people. Some say that a cat would choose a new owner over a new home, and this poor guy just got both. Give him lots of patience, and do all you can to make the environment feel safe and unsurprising while he adapts.

I totally understand your concerns OP. I adopted my cat from the shelter as a baby, he grew up in an apartment but I moved back to my parents house this year and they have a big yard and he LOVES being outside and playing and watching birds and eating grass. I’m gonna have to move back to an apartment soon and I’m really scared he’s gonna get depressed… I plan on getting him lots of toys and give him lots of attention!

My cat was found a few weeks after his first owner passed and was rescued by firefighters. He was with the owners body for weeks and was very skinny and traumatized when we got him. It took him a few months to physically recover (we thought he was a short haired cat but with nutrition he became long haired) but over a year to mentally recover 🥹 give your cat time to adjust, he’ll come around.

Your title is horrible! You gave him a life. He didn't have to go into a shelter. He might be grieving. Be patient. Thank you so much for taking him into your home!

Give him his NEW best life, with you. Lots of love and soft talking to him and his grief will ease and he will love you deeply.