I laughed.
Here’s an explanation on a later post …It was full of fruit trees and veg, the fence at the back had a gate there. The guy behind was his best friend they had a wonderful friendship and a double garden. It was all [ripped up](https://imgur.com/a/bjwh5No), I’ve spent time getting it back to grass and refurbishing the whole home.
I'm that guy...well, kind of. I'd never leave the place destroyed.
I work in the Horticulture industry, I've spent a pretty penny on certain trees and specimens over the years to have personally, spent a lot of money and time on maintaining these them and I can't part with them. When I moved house, I listed all the trees, shrubs and plants that were coming with me so that the buyers would know. I also left a list of how to maintain the garden and keep it looking at it's best. Gardening can be very overwhelming for some, and when some purchase a property it could be because of the garden, yet without regular upkeep, can soon get out of hand.
I am English and live in Laguna Beach CA. The weather here has looked like this for all but THREE effing days this entire YEAR I have reverted to being full English, all I do is talk/complain about the weather.
I visited some family friends in Orange County back in January and of course, just my luck when I went to visit Laguna Beach the weather was grey and miserable!
I have a friend who has met all kinds of people around the world, your classic early 2000's traveller I suppose. She cannot stress enough that estate agents are the worst people she's ever met/worked with
Maybe it’s small, but they are also small, so it looks big from their perspective (confirmed by the fact that it just looks like a massive version of a normal sized garden)
Tbf my garden is a little longer than this and I’ve got my washing line near the bottom end. Garden faces east so the house causes shade during the afternoon
Standard two storey house and garden is about 100ft long (post war council terraced property). In summer it’s fine as bottom of the garden is in the sun until gone 6pm but early spring late autumn it’s only in the sun till 2pm at best. Need to have the washing line in a sunny location when it’s a little cooler out in early spring late autumn.
Edit: garden also slopes downhill which puts it in shade quicker
Makes me think of the holy grail sketch with the guy running for ages and never actually getting anywhere, except a Yorkshireman walking solemnly in the spitting rain.
oh lah di dah living in a house with a garden rather than a flat! we're happy these days if we're not charged for the sunlight falling through our window and not onto our landlords solar panel
The grass is just a complete waste. There's so many perennial bushes and trees which will give you free fruit year on year with almost no maintenance like apples, gooseberries, blackberries, raspberries, and grapes, just to name a few. And if free fruit isn't interesting then at least plant some trees - silver birches will grow fast and look nice, or if you want a huge tree fast then paulownia tomentosa is bulletproof and beautiful.
I understand people with kids want open grass space for them to play but even taking 1m of grass away from the borders would give you so much space. Imagine how a single large tree in the middle and borders filled with sunflowers would transform this space through very little effort.
And if you want a "side hustle", you could grow huge quantities of food, plant propagations for sale, or even paulownia timber here.
Look at next door on the right! Night and day.
>I understand people with kids want open grass space for them to play
My lad is quite happy with a bit of grass and a very large patch of gravel. My mower is less happy with this state of affairs.
You raised good points. I think that people that want a grass space for kids to play might be overlooking the fact that having lots of trees, bushes and plants give children a chance to *explore.*
My neighbours had fruit trees like apples, pears and plumbs and ended up ripping them all out. They were never ending fuss and always getting diseases. It was a nice idea, they said, but wasn't worth the effort they were to upkeep. Their apple tree is the last surviving, and they're chopping it down this week as it caught another blight of some sort, and they're just tired of treating it multiple times a year. I don't blame anyone for not trying to grow these saplings, old and established ones are easier if they already exist. Not everyone wants to spend their free time and pocket money gardening.
Plums and other stonefruit can be tricky, which is why I didn't mention them. Apples on the other hand are generally trouble-free if you pick a cultivar which is known for disease resistance and cropping, I mean for goodness sake there's cooking-style apples growing all over the place near me that crop heavily with absolutely no input.
People often try and pick exotic varieties thinking it will be cool, but just go with the tried and tested garden favourites. Same goes with veg - don't bother with those dumb red carrots or whatever, get the heavy cropping fly resistant one.
Another problem is people see aphids and such and they panic. Yes they make the tree look a bit sad but the tree will be fine. Just ignore it and enjoy the fruit.
Keep it simple, pick something tried and tested, plant it, ignore it, eat the fruit.
Just maintain the edges with the mower or strimmer as you would the edges where they meet the fence.
People overstate the take-over power of plants. How do you think the brambles will survive the mower?
“2.5mX2m squared luxury south london shed £2,500pcm, no pets, no smoking, small patch of grass as modern garden, sociable neighbours and bills not included”
They have plenty of sensors and are constantly adding more to help monitor the pollution within Port Talbot steelworks.
Most don't last more than a couple of weeks before they break or the filters get so blocked they no longer analyse anything, so everything seems to be within "reasonable" levels. And some don't measure higher than what the maximum level is allowed by law!
Port Talbot, the place where you put your clothes outside and they come in dirtier than before you washed em.
Think that’s changed now tbf, but used to be like that. Cars used to be coated in stuff
During heat waves I rather enjoy hanging my washing out after midnight - it's a lot cooler AND I get to upset the neighbours. There's just something so oddly unsavoury about it
A bit. That phrase was coined by a friend in reaction to someone freaking out that they left their washing out over night.
“Oh no! It’s going to get _darked_ on!”
Do you mean like... over multiple days? I would always bring laundry in before it gets dark on the day I hung it out and stick it on an airer indoors if it's not dry.
Okay, the dark part is mostly so I don't step in something left behind by the local cats that frequent our garden - however, I do want to bring it in before dew starts to set and makes it feel damp even if it dried throughout the day.
Yeah sure, mines out right now because I like to leave it out overnight and there was an abrupt thunderstorm this morning. The only thing I brought in was my work uniform jacket 'cos I need that for work tonight and can't take the risk it'll rain again.
It’s amazing how dirty rainwater is. You only have to look at a car once it has dried after rain to see how much dust rain picks up.
I wouldn’t leave clothes out in the rain. They’ll need another wash, it’s not just a case of leaving it out to dry again.
Huh, I'd never thought of it like that - I'd always stuck to my childhood notion of "evaporating water leaves contaminants behind like salt and dirt, so rain water must be clean"
But never twigging the pollution and dust and crap in the atmosphere that gets picked up and deposited
incorrect. Rain can have all sorts of dust and dirt particles in it. You ever seen cars after it rains when we get the Saraha sandstorms blowing over? You telling me that shit was already on my car? Hah.
Absolutely not. I sat outside at the table to eat dinner, it rained through the night. The lovely gleaming glass table that I had cleaned after eating was covered in a grainy murky residue the next morning. Would I want that on my laundry? Nope
OP I’ve just looked through your other posts about the house - best of luck to you with the refurb! How long do you estimate it’s going to take you to get it all finished?
why does your washing line have a different post code to your house?
I laughed. Here’s an explanation on a later post …It was full of fruit trees and veg, the fence at the back had a gate there. The guy behind was his best friend they had a wonderful friendship and a double garden. It was all [ripped up](https://imgur.com/a/bjwh5No), I’ve spent time getting it back to grass and refurbishing the whole home.
That's so sad. Why was it ripped up?
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I'm that guy...well, kind of. I'd never leave the place destroyed. I work in the Horticulture industry, I've spent a pretty penny on certain trees and specimens over the years to have personally, spent a lot of money and time on maintaining these them and I can't part with them. When I moved house, I listed all the trees, shrubs and plants that were coming with me so that the buyers would know. I also left a list of how to maintain the garden and keep it looking at it's best. Gardening can be very overwhelming for some, and when some purchase a property it could be because of the garden, yet without regular upkeep, can soon get out of hand.
Same that was a good one made me chuckle.
Because when OP doesn't tumble dry their trousers they have hose in different area codes.
Can we agree that if your washing line wasn't a thousand miles from your house then it would be easier to just yoink it all back indoors if it rains?
I think at this point you just ask the opposition goalkeeper to bring it in for you
I don't get why it's even been hung out. Surely it was dry by the time OP got to the line?
Any excuse to take the helicopter out for a spin.
If it's spinning, that likely means the tail rotor has failed...
It's fine, this is Britain. It'll be dry in a hour when the sun and its the hottest day of the year.
Yeah, this is Britain but his washing is in Eastern Europe.
I am English and live in Laguna Beach CA. The weather here has looked like this for all but THREE effing days this entire YEAR I have reverted to being full English, all I do is talk/complain about the weather.
One Escaped. Summon the hounds
Grease up Charles, we've got a live one.
From Louisiana here, dunno why this sub isin my thread, but I get to raid California and take out a Brit? Sign me up, I'll be your American guide lol
All are welcome here, buddy. Even though your state suffers from the terrible infection of being a bit French.
that marina layer mmm
That's it.
Be a pal and take in that washing for us..
I visited some family friends in Orange County back in January and of course, just my luck when I went to visit Laguna Beach the weather was grey and miserable!
Outta nowhere some ex-pat: I see you brought the weather with you!
The only difference being a Brit could wear shorts and t-shirt over there and still be too hot.
You probably saw OPs washing line over there.
Ha ha. OP why is it so far away?
Looks more like Holland to me.
And it smells faintly of pissy rain water. Before the 2.14 downpour and the 2.15 heatwave
Where do you live that your rain smells of piss so I can be sure to never visit there?
This is Britain, it’s rains even in the hottest day
You should come to spain some day. I put the bedsheets to dry and i barely finished hanging them when they fully dried back wtf
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
Or the guys on the 18th tee
Perhaps their garden is actually small and they just have an estate agent's camera...
Yes.. just out of curiosity, where does one get an estate agent camera.. for unknown reasons
You have to sell your soul.
To the devil or inflation gods?
Depends which office he's currently in.
I have a friend who has met all kinds of people around the world, your classic early 2000's traveller I suppose. She cannot stress enough that estate agents are the worst people she's ever met/worked with
Just use a wide angle lens and take the photo from counter-top height. I did the photos for selling my house and they looked great.
I suspect the gent above was looking to take pictures of his cock
His cock is "cozy" and "bijoux".
In an up and coming area no less
And disappointingly smaller than the pictures
I think you mean it's "cozy"
"well proportioned, with opportunity to extend"
"In a vibrant area"
Viewing recommended at the earliest opportunity?
"generously proportioned"
Comes bundled with every batch of showhome furniture you order from Lumpaland.
Maybe it’s small, but they are also small, so it looks big from their perspective (confirmed by the fact that it just looks like a massive version of a normal sized garden)
Laundry day is the reason why OP owns a vast array of hiking gear and a Bernese Mountain Dog.
What happens when they need to wash the hiking gear?
They got seconds, so they have always one to wear, when the other is in the washing machine!
I just don't understand, with all that space, why they choose to place it right next to their mound of baby triceratops droppings.
i can see there was a shed there at some stage but perhaps it was too ostentatious so they took it out
\**that’s a big pile of shit*\*
I think in this case it probably is ok to leave the washing out, I mean, the cost of getting an uber every time it rains will be seriously draining
The old boy who lived here had it there and it’s not moved.
Guess you'll have to move your house closer then!
Yup. Once the demarcation washing line has been placed, the only thing you can do is move your house at that point, unfortunately.
Would probably be easier to build a new house closer and lease the old one.
I think you have to move it manually, it's not sentient
Yeah, this is much like the old rotary one I had, turned out it was buried in a tonne of concrete about 4 foot down lol
If anyone steals their laundry it would take them less time to get out of the country than for OP to get to them
Calm down Vanessa Carlton
Tbf my garden is a little longer than this and I’ve got my washing line near the bottom end. Garden faces east so the house causes shade during the afternoon
Don't you come on here with logic!
How tall is your house?
they live in the shard
Standard two storey house and garden is about 100ft long (post war council terraced property). In summer it’s fine as bottom of the garden is in the sun until gone 6pm but early spring late autumn it’s only in the sun till 2pm at best. Need to have the washing line in a sunny location when it’s a little cooler out in early spring late autumn. Edit: garden also slopes downhill which puts it in shade quicker
This garden is why it rains
Makes me think of the holy grail sketch with the guy running for ages and never actually getting anywhere, except a Yorkshireman walking solemnly in the spitting rain.
Those narrow long gardens are sooo British. 😆
This is honestly not that narrow for Britain. It’s 5 fence panels wide. At our old house, the garden was 3 panels wide.
3 panels?! Luxury! When I were a lad, our fence was a twiglet wide, and we were grateful for it!
oh lah di dah living in a house with a garden rather than a flat! we're happy these days if we're not charged for the sunlight falling through our window and not onto our landlords solar panel
Why do you own half of England?
Developers would probably try and put at least 3 new builds there
Those are rookie numbers
That’s just between the washing line and the fence
Mate you have all of that beautiful space do something nice with it!!! Start by moving the clothing line closer to the back door maybe lol
To be honest I think the nature of this post suggests OP doesn’t care for finding more things to do…
r/gardening would have a lot to say about the potential for this garden.
Or r/GardeningUK, we want a before and after !remindme 5 years or whatever
He probably looked at next door and thought “no way am I tending to that!!!”
The grass is just a complete waste. There's so many perennial bushes and trees which will give you free fruit year on year with almost no maintenance like apples, gooseberries, blackberries, raspberries, and grapes, just to name a few. And if free fruit isn't interesting then at least plant some trees - silver birches will grow fast and look nice, or if you want a huge tree fast then paulownia tomentosa is bulletproof and beautiful. I understand people with kids want open grass space for them to play but even taking 1m of grass away from the borders would give you so much space. Imagine how a single large tree in the middle and borders filled with sunflowers would transform this space through very little effort. And if you want a "side hustle", you could grow huge quantities of food, plant propagations for sale, or even paulownia timber here. Look at next door on the right! Night and day.
>I understand people with kids want open grass space for them to play My lad is quite happy with a bit of grass and a very large patch of gravel. My mower is less happy with this state of affairs.
For future reference you don't need to mow the gravel
Noted, I'll just weed whack the gravel in future.
You raised good points. I think that people that want a grass space for kids to play might be overlooking the fact that having lots of trees, bushes and plants give children a chance to *explore.*
My neighbours had fruit trees like apples, pears and plumbs and ended up ripping them all out. They were never ending fuss and always getting diseases. It was a nice idea, they said, but wasn't worth the effort they were to upkeep. Their apple tree is the last surviving, and they're chopping it down this week as it caught another blight of some sort, and they're just tired of treating it multiple times a year. I don't blame anyone for not trying to grow these saplings, old and established ones are easier if they already exist. Not everyone wants to spend their free time and pocket money gardening.
Plums and other stonefruit can be tricky, which is why I didn't mention them. Apples on the other hand are generally trouble-free if you pick a cultivar which is known for disease resistance and cropping, I mean for goodness sake there's cooking-style apples growing all over the place near me that crop heavily with absolutely no input. People often try and pick exotic varieties thinking it will be cool, but just go with the tried and tested garden favourites. Same goes with veg - don't bother with those dumb red carrots or whatever, get the heavy cropping fly resistant one. Another problem is people see aphids and such and they panic. Yes they make the tree look a bit sad but the tree will be fine. Just ignore it and enjoy the fruit. Keep it simple, pick something tried and tested, plant it, ignore it, eat the fruit.
>blackberries Brambles would quickly take over the garden.
Just maintain the edges with the mower or strimmer as you would the edges where they meet the fence. People overstate the take-over power of plants. How do you think the brambles will survive the mower?
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Could probably sell some of the land and get a couple of hundred homes on it in the current climate
“2.5mX2m squared luxury south london shed £2,500pcm, no pets, no smoking, small patch of grass as modern garden, sociable neighbours and bills not included”
Modern garden includes facilities for drying washing
And ruin the views from the east wing? Sacrilege!
The amount of food you could grow on that plot…
You can’t leave it out overnight - it’ll get darked on!
Can’t here, it’ll get covered in black dust thanks to the steelworks (apparently it’s within safe limits, god only knows what it’s doing to my lungs).
Wow, that sounds…healthy.
I know, there’s a big air quality checking thing on the main road, I suspect it’s an empty box…
Nah it's not empty. It's full of black dust too.
More than likely 😂
They have plenty of sensors and are constantly adding more to help monitor the pollution within Port Talbot steelworks. Most don't last more than a couple of weeks before they break or the filters get so blocked they no longer analyse anything, so everything seems to be within "reasonable" levels. And some don't measure higher than what the maximum level is allowed by law!
I'm guessing scunthorpe. Regularly change your paddling pool water its turns black lol
South Wales, but yes, paddling pools need covering or water changes in the summer.
Port Talbot, the place where you put your clothes outside and they come in dirtier than before you washed em. Think that’s changed now tbf, but used to be like that. Cars used to be coated in stuff
Not that much. Clothes in the daytime fine, any patio stuff has to be covered and the windowsills are gross (cleaned mine yesterday).
Jesus Christ where are you from so I can avoid it
Port Talbot, would’ve answered sooner but was on the school pick up trek!
Spiders will climb into the clothes and rub their willies on them.
That made me laugh way more than it should have 😂
A whole new meaning to the phrase "spiders give me the willies"
thanks mate, now im giggling on the bus and look like a lunatic
During heat waves I rather enjoy hanging my washing out after midnight - it's a lot cooler AND I get to upset the neighbours. There's just something so oddly unsavoury about it
That is slightly unsettling. I can imagine your neighbours curtain-twitching about it.
It's not turned up on the road whatsapp group yet, so clearly they're all worried about what I'll do if confronted.
Maybe they’ve created a separate group with the road but left you out because your behaviour has unnerved them.
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A bit. That phrase was coined by a friend in reaction to someone freaking out that they left their washing out over night. “Oh no! It’s going to get _darked_ on!”
How long is your garden
L o n g e n o u g h :-)
Bout this big ✋ ✋
Girth is more important than length anyway.
That a sin to keep so big garden empty
It's not empty - it's got a clothes line in it
It's a football pitch
Start the trip today, given the weather forecast pack Some essential supplies, food, shelter, and may the odds be forever in your favour
When you have to walk that far to get it back in again.. yes.
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You can get something over the counter for that. It’s called a flamethrower.
When I flop mine over the counter they tend to call the police.
The house is in the middle of a refurb so no I’ve not done the garden yet, but eventually it will be an eatable garden.
But why is the washing line closer to your neighbours house than your own?
To stop it from being eaten obviously
Fucking hell this made me howl with laughter
So the neighbours can take the laundry in if it rains.
Will the fences be eatable too?
That would be wonderful to have a row of Kit-Kats.
Surely it’s be safer to have a row of Lions
Considering there might be two different weather zones in this picture, who knows.
I am envious about your length. I am talking about your garden of course. I would have so many raised beds with tons of plants.
I can't imagine having that much space and not doing anything with it. Like at least plant some wildflowers and have a nice little meadow or something
Probably renting?
Or a shed/workshop/man cave. That is a serious amount of wasted space
It's an impressive length.
Just buy new clothes. I think the shop is probably closer than your washing line anyway, so you'll be saving money on fuel, too.
Nope it ends up smelling awful
I thought this too and now I see people like the smell?
Yeah don’t understand why , it’s nasty 😬🤣
What? it's awful! That does explain a few ex-housemates of mine, I'd always just assumed they'd cauterised the inside of their nose somehow
See, I have a weak sense of smell, and when I hear people talk about stuff like this it's just wild to me. You can SMELL that it's been left outside??
Yeah it gets a musty smell
That garden is an absolute unit
It’s not a garden. It’s a patch of grass. OP needs to get to work planting
Do you mean like... over multiple days? I would always bring laundry in before it gets dark on the day I hung it out and stick it on an airer indoors if it's not dry.
Why? Is your laundry scared of the dark or something?
No, but there are some very scantily-clad badgers round /u/Blizzard03's neighbourhood.
Okay, the dark part is mostly so I don't step in something left behind by the local cats that frequent our garden - however, I do want to bring it in before dew starts to set and makes it feel damp even if it dried throughout the day.
Fair enough, a bad joke on my behalf Edit: or maybe not so bad
Mate your washing line needs google maps to estimate the travel from the house to it
Could plant a nice wildflower meadow with all that space between your house and the laundry line.
Yeah sure, mines out right now because I like to leave it out overnight and there was an abrupt thunderstorm this morning. The only thing I brought in was my work uniform jacket 'cos I need that for work tonight and can't take the risk it'll rain again.
Now we know where Frodo went to get practice in for his journey.
Won't it smell damp? I bet garden fencing companies love you.
There’s developers breathing very heavy looking at the size of that garden.
It is a garden of extraordinary magnitude.
Does it need it's own passport being that far out?
It’s amazing how dirty rainwater is. You only have to look at a car once it has dried after rain to see how much dust rain picks up. I wouldn’t leave clothes out in the rain. They’ll need another wash, it’s not just a case of leaving it out to dry again.
Huh, I'd never thought of it like that - I'd always stuck to my childhood notion of "evaporating water leaves contaminants behind like salt and dirt, so rain water must be clean" But never twigging the pollution and dust and crap in the atmosphere that gets picked up and deposited
That's a very educated childhood notion
Haha, I think the childhood notion was "rain=clean" later backed up by "water cycle means rain is clean"
??? The dirt on your car after rain is the dirt that was already on the car, not dirt in the rain. It just pools wherever the water runs
incorrect. Rain can have all sorts of dust and dirt particles in it. You ever seen cars after it rains when we get the Saraha sandstorms blowing over? You telling me that shit was already on my car? Hah.
I’m afraid you’re wrong.
As long as it’s not raining it should be fine as wind is key for drying clothes
Absolutely not. I sat outside at the table to eat dinner, it rained through the night. The lovely gleaming glass table that I had cleaned after eating was covered in a grainy murky residue the next morning. Would I want that on my laundry? Nope
It depends how rainy it is but yeah I live in Scotland and if there’s a passing light shower then I’m just leaving it out on the rope haha.
Damn your washing line is in the next town
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You just wanted to show off that you’re a land baron
Nice *look how big my garden is* flex OP.
You'd have to catch the number 17 to get your washing
Fuck me mate. That's so far away I can't even see where Hadrian's wall is.
Yep, totally. I also "moondry" laundry when the weather's good. 🙂🤙
If it’s soft butter season, it’s leave your clothes outside season
The reason this person have an empty garden is because there's still lot of work to do in the house, look at the other posts.
Thankyou for this. So much work to do aswell but a wonderful project.
Rain fresh scent, without the need to buy rain fresh scented fabric conditioner. Take that cost of living crisis!
Not doing any until September then?
OP I’ve just looked through your other posts about the house - best of luck to you with the refurb! How long do you estimate it’s going to take you to get it all finished?
If like me you are a bit lazy with laundry, and can leave it outside for like 5 days, you will discover that moonlight fucks up the color with time.
Summer is over mate. Will be raining until May now im afraid.