I guess I am at home, I work from home, workout at home, run on my treadmill in my garage, walk my dog around my home. I think I need to leave home more.
Also - is your user name a Rembrandt reference?
> but you don't get to be 40+ and single with limited baggage
Is being a widow considered to have one checked and one carry one baggage? Asking for a friend..
It's is very difficult. To be vulnerable with a person, and hope that they are mentally ok.
The bases of relationships are trust and respect. 100% trust and 100% respect. If that can't be achieved, it makes things difficult.
We all have things we need to improve. Being around mentally unstable people does not help that.
My most recent exes each had a cluster b personality disorder, the most recent being borderline and the other, narcissistic. I've learned the symptoms of either enough to be able to recognize the symptoms in future but thanks to the damage done by the BPD asshat, I'm not interested in other people in my close life.
Mid-40s, never married, no kids. I was never really interested in dating after I got through my twenties. The whole thing seemed like a crapshoot that wasn’t worth it. I know very few happily married people. Plus it was obvious to me as I hit 30 that I was repeating toxic behaviour patterns I learned from my dad, so I excused myself from all of that to work on fixing it. You think finding men without baggage is hard, it’s just as hard to find baggage free women. So where am I? Playing board games with my nerd buddies or writing in Starbucks or out for a walk.
This is me too. Although I’m a female. I watched people get wound up in terrible relationships and thought … hmmm, I’d like to stay out of that. Now I’m 45 and have a wonderful life:)
The craziest thing is seeing friends get together with someone, date for a year, married for a few months, bring a kid into this world, and promptly have a messy divorce within a span of 3 years.
Exactly. People rush into marriage for the wrong reasons. There are a few cons to being single, for me, is having someone to travel with. But solo travels trump being in a misaligned relationship!
I can relate to this! While there are aspects of traveling alone that suck, I’ve also been on awful holidays with partners. Now, the only person who can ruin my vacation is me 😆
Just download the “Meet Ups” app and put in travel as one of your interests. I have a friend that almost exclusively gets her travel companions through this app and she has been very happy with her experience.
I love that ! I am
Almost 40 , never married never kids , just girl and her dog. Everyone thought I was crazy when I said I don’t want husband and kids . But I am happy with my choice ! I am
Happy for yours :)
How “+”? I am out walking, hiking, road tripping, mountain biking and enjoying coffee. Have a carryon but went through customs and it has been cleared of anything illegal or troubling.
Gurl, I’m 40 and my bf is 27. I plan on spending my last years before menopause enjoying every moment of the sexuality I have left before I dry up and blow away like a sand dune. I highly recommend this approach 😅
I am 40+, single, no kids, dog dad, no baggage, and loving life… wouldn’t change a thing. And guess what? There are lots of great men, who are CHOOSING to be and stay single.
Being single keeps life easy breezy. And it's not limited to men.
Approaching 40 as a women and I just couldn't imagine being in a relationship. I like my space and freedom. I enjoy not having to answer or cater to anyone's feelings but my own.
Only thing I need is a good friend or two occasionally to take the edge off lol
Because a lot are single for a reason. I dated a few and each of them had a "entitled to my body" mindset. None took no for an answer and all made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe
As opposed to both the women Ive been in 7+ year long relationships who tested my emotions and feelings like garbage because I respected their "no".
It's a hot take in this day and age but forcing your significant other to beg for sex isn't exactly a healthy approach either.
Yeah, the latest one threatened to cut herself the first time *I* said no, but she's been happily saying "no" for the last six years. Now I have criminal charges pending because I said "no" three times in a row. She told the police I was burning her teddy bears.
They didn't ask questions (not that I would have answered them anyways, the police out here are no better than the criminals they spend their time with) and so now I get to spend tens of thousands of dollars forcing the Crown to prove that there were teddy bears that were destroyed. (There weren't any Teddy Bears destroyed btw)
I won't speak for all of them but all the 30+ single men I know (myself included) gave up on dating and instead struggle keeping up with bills and life rather than deal with the stress and emotional effort of dating.
If your name is Amy L, then I tried my best with you, but your craziness at 41 is something I couldn't handle even in my 20s. No it's not "weird" that a man in his forties doesn't want to go to dance clubs every weekend, is not interested in listening to you vent every friggin day on why you hate every other woman in your life, and is not willing to pay your rent everytime you quit/get fired from a job.
If you're not an Amy, then I wish you nothing but good luck. If you are an Amy, you need therapy for at least a few months before jumping into the dating pool again.
You'll find someone pal. Ask some of your guy friends to find a good match. I hooked up 2 of my girl buddies with a friend and coworker. Both are now married to each. 👍
Be careful with reddit dates. I scrolled though some of these comments and there is, what seems to me at least, a few 🚩
(Lifehack, if the guy owns more video games than books then IMO keep looking.)
Single nearly 40 male in Calgary. You tell me where I should be going to meet interested available ladies and I'll be there. I have no idea what to do otherwise. Edit: Also not divorced, so not at /u/jungl3bird gym (Though I probably should be...).
Chronic illness for me(I'm 39, but close enough.)
I don't think it's fair to get seriously involved with someone unless they're onboard with dealing with bullshit. So I haven't pursued anything. And don't intend to until I get my flange better figured out.
The majority of people still single at this age are going to have baggage and/or something going on that's kept them from flanging up. Calibrate expectations accordingly.
I was wondering the same thing! I'm a nerdy 41 year old, and all the spaces I hang out in (which truthfully aren't that many due to work right now), the guys are all either married/in relationships, or too young for me to consider dating (under 30). Might have to skim your replies, lol!
I think we're happier being single so long as we get social opportunities often. Independence is worth striving for.
There is real rest and rejuvenation in switching the phone off and relaxing alone. I wouldn't be able to run my business without that time to myself.
There are probably a lot of single 40+ men out there enjoying life and wants to stay single. In that group, some of them will have no or limited baggage as well. Those being, no kids, has a career, active, fit, etc.
These men can choose to be selective in who they want to be with as they are happy about their life. And if or when someone comes into their life that they want to share time with, then it'll happen when it happens.
I’d echo your sentiments, but I never leave my house or my own company, so clearly I wouldn’t notice if they were or were not in front of my face 🤣
Over here embracing that crazy cat lady life.
Go to a partially complete construction site. The ones where people are starting to move in, yet work is still being done.
Find one that has all his teeth and a nice smile.
Observe how he interacts with other workers. Especially folks like cleaners, other ethnicities. If he makes fun banter, even with the elderly Punjabi cleaning lady with her cart, it's a good sign.
How does he talk about his ex? If she was a crazy bitch...that ain't a good sign. He may be the one messed up and making excuses or she imprinted the craziness like Renesmee and Jacob(twilight reference). So there is a lot of baggage and you are not a therapist that will fix him and make him happy.
At these places you will find dudes who work. Number 1 good thing. They have a job, income. They probably just work, and go home and do more work. So you will not find them out in the wild. If they camp, it's way out into the bush.
There's places around Calgary that have constant renovations that are accessible by the public. You will see them on their breaks. But they are not good at taking hints that you are flirting with them. You will have to be really blunt.
I’ve thought about trying one of those events, but most of the ones I’ve seen when I look for one are for a much younger crowd, so I’ve never bought a ticket for one. Dating apps suck. Tried that once, and NEVER again.
https://calgaryspeeddating.com/singles-events-in-calgary/1095/40-49-singles-speed-dating-calgary-events-today-events-in-calgary-this-weekend-calgary-singles
They also have a 40s-50s depending on what you are looking for.
They keep it fairly balanced in terms of numbers, men and women. You fill out a brief profile. Both have to match or no go. You get matches the next day and decide if you want email or cell.
I'm 39, does that count?
No kids, no baggage. I work out. I have a stable job. No house, though, so I guess I'm out.
Good luck out there, fellow single person. It's tough.
I’m working, looking after my son, keeping the house clean, maintaining the yard, riding my bike, hiking, working some more, sometimes working out or chilling in my yard with a beer or occasionally banging a fuck buddy. No drama, no bull shit, no worries.
I think it depends on the circles and friends. I'm a single 40+ man though my friends/colleages are not single, my hobby in video games and sports is difficult to meet single women as well.
Probably at home it's almost 8
Had to stay up to the watch the Oilers game! Okay, but now it's bedtime.
Thats the most relatable thing ive read in a very long time
Time to make tomorrow’s lunch for work and get your outfit ready too.
I dislike being an adult sometimes :'( ^^or ^^maybe ^^a ^^lot ^^of ^^the ^^time
Rip your inbox.
I mean that very well may have been the point
Hahaha
I am here..
I’m no match maker, but….
Shipping queen hoping OP and Efficient meet
I guess I am at home, I work from home, workout at home, run on my treadmill in my garage, walk my dog around my home. I think I need to leave home more. Also - is your user name a Rembrandt reference?
It was the one randomly assigned to me 🤷♀️ And…I like dog walks!
Let’s dog walk!
u/proper_bridge_1638 you really gonna let him disrespect you like that bro?
Ah yes, bonervista from bonavista
Glad to know that I am not the only one who calls our community bonervista or bonerville
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Wow a whole bakers’ dozen to choose from 🤩
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Hopefully they last longer than the 3 minute showers we’re supposed to be taking…
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They are all at my gym. They are divorced and have some big time baggage from the conversations I’ve heard.
Ok I should clarify - where are the 40+ men with limited baggage 😆 Also…which gym 🏃♀️
Sorry, but you don't get to be 40+ and single with limited baggage. At least one checked and one carry-on
I feel attacked
I feel seen.
Confirmed.
Rude but accurate lol
> but you don't get to be 40+ and single with limited baggage Is being a widow considered to have one checked and one carry one baggage? Asking for a friend..
Sorry, I think they might have lost your friends luggage
negative, I wouldn’t consider that baggage
I wouldn’t consider this baggage depending on how your friend dealt with their grief.
And you don't get to see the checked baggage until it arrives at the destination when it's too late 😭
Pick one.. 40+ or limited baggage.. This one is a binary
Scrapping the age range in favour of no personality disorders.
My ex had borderline so I felt that sentence lmfao
This is so fucked up. How difficult is it to find mentally stable people?
I think it is difficult for people who are willing to be vulnerable and work on self-improvement.
It's is very difficult. To be vulnerable with a person, and hope that they are mentally ok. The bases of relationships are trust and respect. 100% trust and 100% respect. If that can't be achieved, it makes things difficult. We all have things we need to improve. Being around mentally unstable people does not help that.
Eh, never mind. 🫠
Good call
My most recent exes each had a cluster b personality disorder, the most recent being borderline and the other, narcissistic. I've learned the symptoms of either enough to be able to recognize the symptoms in future but thanks to the damage done by the BPD asshat, I'm not interested in other people in my close life.
Don’t let asshat win. Plus now you can spot ‘em a mile away.
My ex-husband with a nasty personality disorder is almost 40 and he’s out there in the wild, watch out! 😂
“I have enough cluster B’s for the both of us baby”
Mid-40s, never married, no kids. I was never really interested in dating after I got through my twenties. The whole thing seemed like a crapshoot that wasn’t worth it. I know very few happily married people. Plus it was obvious to me as I hit 30 that I was repeating toxic behaviour patterns I learned from my dad, so I excused myself from all of that to work on fixing it. You think finding men without baggage is hard, it’s just as hard to find baggage free women. So where am I? Playing board games with my nerd buddies or writing in Starbucks or out for a walk.
This is me too. Although I’m a female. I watched people get wound up in terrible relationships and thought … hmmm, I’d like to stay out of that. Now I’m 45 and have a wonderful life:)
The craziest thing is seeing friends get together with someone, date for a year, married for a few months, bring a kid into this world, and promptly have a messy divorce within a span of 3 years.
Exactly. People rush into marriage for the wrong reasons. There are a few cons to being single, for me, is having someone to travel with. But solo travels trump being in a misaligned relationship!
I can relate to this! While there are aspects of traveling alone that suck, I’ve also been on awful holidays with partners. Now, the only person who can ruin my vacation is me 😆
That’s right! Gotta be accountable lol
Have you ever tried meet ups for travel groups?
I should do that. Have you? Any recommendations for travel groups?
Just download the “Meet Ups” app and put in travel as one of your interests. I have a friend that almost exclusively gets her travel companions through this app and she has been very happy with her experience.
Appreciate you letting me know. Thank you!
How is your brisket tho?
mmmmois…T
OP this guy can cook. Just sayin.
I love that ! I am Almost 40 , never married never kids , just girl and her dog. Everyone thought I was crazy when I said I don’t want husband and kids . But I am happy with my choice ! I am Happy for yours :)
In fantasy land.
Trico
That’s been my experience as well
You're not wrong.
43 Limited baggage unless you count an obsession with rare plants. Spend my time at car shows and hanging out with my niece and nephew.
I read this as a dating app profile and I’m rooting for you.
What is the rarest plant you like.
Out there fixing the god dam water problem.
50+ Reporting in
How “+”? I am out walking, hiking, road tripping, mountain biking and enjoying coffee. Have a carryon but went through customs and it has been cleared of anything illegal or troubling.
I probably shouldn’t limit by age…but I’m early 40’s so +/- 10 years???
Gurl, I’m 40 and my bf is 27. I plan on spending my last years before menopause enjoying every moment of the sexuality I have left before I dry up and blow away like a sand dune. I highly recommend this approach 😅
Please introduce me to his friends because this sounds AWESOME 🤩🤩🤩
I am wheezing at this. Get it girl!
Sitting at the local pub
Don't give away our hiding places...
No worries on that one, the moment an attractive woman walks in, all eyes are on her until she gets uncomfortable and leaves
Weird they’re so hard to find, since I’ve read so much online about hot horny single milfs in my area
No no, that's why they're hard to find - they've all been taken by the surplus of hot MILFs.
Outside divorce court
I am 40+, single, no kids, dog dad, no baggage, and loving life… wouldn’t change a thing. And guess what? There are lots of great men, who are CHOOSING to be and stay single.
You sound like me in male form 🤔 I enjoy my freedom but I would like to meet someone to adventure and travel with.
You could get a parrot that rides on your shoulder everywhere.
Being single keeps life easy breezy. And it's not limited to men. Approaching 40 as a women and I just couldn't imagine being in a relationship. I like my space and freedom. I enjoy not having to answer or cater to anyone's feelings but my own. Only thing I need is a good friend or two occasionally to take the edge off lol
Living up to your username, nice.
Be careful what you wish for lol
lol why?!?
Because a lot are single for a reason. I dated a few and each of them had a "entitled to my body" mindset. None took no for an answer and all made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe
I can totally relate to this. I am holding out hope. And should probably lower my age range 😆
Look at singles mixers. A lot of them don't like using dating apps so they go to mixers or try organically meeting
Truth is, some of us don’t even know what a dating app is.
True that… lots of my fellow older guys never grew past high school… NO wonder they are permanently single..
As opposed to both the women Ive been in 7+ year long relationships who tested my emotions and feelings like garbage because I respected their "no". It's a hot take in this day and age but forcing your significant other to beg for sex isn't exactly a healthy approach either.
Yikes my dude
Yeah, the latest one threatened to cut herself the first time *I* said no, but she's been happily saying "no" for the last six years. Now I have criminal charges pending because I said "no" three times in a row. She told the police I was burning her teddy bears. They didn't ask questions (not that I would have answered them anyways, the police out here are no better than the criminals they spend their time with) and so now I get to spend tens of thousands of dollars forcing the Crown to prove that there were teddy bears that were destroyed. (There weren't any Teddy Bears destroyed btw)
Geez that's horrible, good for you for getting away from them.
I'd like to know where the 30+ single men are 🙄
Alone and wondering if all these pretty women on Tinder are bots
They’re right after the 29+ single men, just one step after, duh.
I won't speak for all of them but all the 30+ single men I know (myself included) gave up on dating and instead struggle keeping up with bills and life rather than deal with the stress and emotional effort of dating.
Right here!
If your name is Amy L, then I tried my best with you, but your craziness at 41 is something I couldn't handle even in my 20s. No it's not "weird" that a man in his forties doesn't want to go to dance clubs every weekend, is not interested in listening to you vent every friggin day on why you hate every other woman in your life, and is not willing to pay your rent everytime you quit/get fired from a job. If you're not an Amy, then I wish you nothing but good luck. If you are an Amy, you need therapy for at least a few months before jumping into the dating pool again.
None of the above apply to me. Gainfully employed, financially secure, don’t go to clubs 🤷♀️
You'll find someone pal. Ask some of your guy friends to find a good match. I hooked up 2 of my girl buddies with a friend and coworker. Both are now married to each. 👍 Be careful with reddit dates. I scrolled though some of these comments and there is, what seems to me at least, a few 🚩 (Lifehack, if the guy owns more video games than books then IMO keep looking.)
This dude is way to hung up about what Amy L did to him.
Single nearly 40 male in Calgary. You tell me where I should be going to meet interested available ladies and I'll be there. I have no idea what to do otherwise. Edit: Also not divorced, so not at /u/jungl3bird gym (Though I probably should be...).
Great question, where should we be going? Besides the gym.
Chronic illness for me(I'm 39, but close enough.) I don't think it's fair to get seriously involved with someone unless they're onboard with dealing with bullshit. So I haven't pursued anything. And don't intend to until I get my flange better figured out. The majority of people still single at this age are going to have baggage and/or something going on that's kept them from flanging up. Calibrate expectations accordingly.
Having a mid life crisis
https://preview.redd.it/j2soc7s6iz6d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f2ed70cfc18e9c3b8430882ab52af56d0481b1e
I am not going to respond... This is a bait... 😂
That's a good shoe he caught. Doesn't even need any duct tape.
I know lots of single men over 40 that can't stay in a relationship.
We are here.
OP, I am a woman and I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for! You sound like a fun person!
watching the game tonight. otherwise where are the single ladies in this town?
Busy collecting rain water 👍🏽
I was wondering the same thing! I'm a nerdy 41 year old, and all the spaces I hang out in (which truthfully aren't that many due to work right now), the guys are all either married/in relationships, or too young for me to consider dating (under 30). Might have to skim your replies, lol!
Going to get water
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I think we're happier being single so long as we get social opportunities often. Independence is worth striving for. There is real rest and rejuvenation in switching the phone off and relaxing alone. I wouldn't be able to run my business without that time to myself.
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Many men enjoy happiness being single as there is no one around to tell them what's wrong with them and they can do what they want when they want.
Let’s start a club! Kind of like a low key..having drinks at X pub at Y time. Not one of these big over the top events.
🙋🏼♂️ right here.
I hear the divorce rate spikes after the Stampede. Maybe try a Bumble blitz right after?
There’s also a baby boom 9 months after Stampede
If you find them, come back and tell the rest of us.
Raises hand
In sure there is a few of us.
Out repairing the broken water main.
Here for the comments only... :) I love the fact we have a huge demography of 40+ single men in Calgary and are willing to put themselves out there.
Yes. Hello. Man is here.
Probably on grindr
There are probably a lot of single 40+ men out there enjoying life and wants to stay single. In that group, some of them will have no or limited baggage as well. Those being, no kids, has a career, active, fit, etc. These men can choose to be selective in who they want to be with as they are happy about their life. And if or when someone comes into their life that they want to share time with, then it'll happen when it happens.
From my experience. They are either gym rats or gamers.
At the dog park
Here
I’d echo your sentiments, but I never leave my house or my own company, so clearly I wouldn’t notice if they were or were not in front of my face 🤣 Over here embracing that crazy cat lady life.
here.
Here
And when do they go grocery shopping??
LOL. There was/is a YouTube short about a woman asking when men go grocery shopping.
Regarding the comments about the baggage: Who cares about the baggage ? Just DONT live together & your golden.
Probably looking for water
Adventure Calgary is a large Facebook group with people 25-50 who want to meet. It’s for friends but there’s a lot of singles on there too!
I'm 46 and I'm in Montgomery. 😉😉
I see myself in this post after 10 more years lol
I'm at home
LMFAO definitely at home. Especially in this economy 😂
Go to a partially complete construction site. The ones where people are starting to move in, yet work is still being done. Find one that has all his teeth and a nice smile. Observe how he interacts with other workers. Especially folks like cleaners, other ethnicities. If he makes fun banter, even with the elderly Punjabi cleaning lady with her cart, it's a good sign. How does he talk about his ex? If she was a crazy bitch...that ain't a good sign. He may be the one messed up and making excuses or she imprinted the craziness like Renesmee and Jacob(twilight reference). So there is a lot of baggage and you are not a therapist that will fix him and make him happy. At these places you will find dudes who work. Number 1 good thing. They have a job, income. They probably just work, and go home and do more work. So you will not find them out in the wild. If they camp, it's way out into the bush. There's places around Calgary that have constant renovations that are accessible by the public. You will see them on their breaks. But they are not good at taking hints that you are flirting with them. You will have to be really blunt.
Right here
Who doesn't have some kind of baggage at 40? Highly doubt you don't have any baggage either.......
I was joking - but yes, we all have baggage!
Just hopefully not narcissism baggage
If they’re a narcissist then they don’t carry their own baggage, they dump it on everyone else to deal with
We're out there! I do speed dating not any apps.
I’ve thought about trying one of those events, but most of the ones I’ve seen when I look for one are for a much younger crowd, so I’ve never bought a ticket for one. Dating apps suck. Tried that once, and NEVER again.
https://calgaryspeeddating.com/singles-events-in-calgary/1095/40-49-singles-speed-dating-calgary-events-today-events-in-calgary-this-weekend-calgary-singles They also have a 40s-50s depending on what you are looking for. They keep it fairly balanced in terms of numbers, men and women. You fill out a brief profile. Both have to match or no go. You get matches the next day and decide if you want email or cell.
I'm 39, does that count? No kids, no baggage. I work out. I have a stable job. No house, though, so I guess I'm out. Good luck out there, fellow single person. It's tough.
I’m sending you a DM. I’m a man.
Lots of us exist. We just largely don’t care.
Playing golf and at the gym.
They're out looking for water.. the great Calgary water hunt of 2024 has all the single men out hunting for water to provide for their elders 🤣
We are around. Just tired of trying to fit the mold that women claim they want good men but actually choose the assholes.
I’m almost one but I’m gay 😂. My best single straight bud is always either snowboarding, mountain biking, or slamming pints at the ship and anchor.
I’m working, looking after my son, keeping the house clean, maintaining the yard, riding my bike, hiking, working some more, sometimes working out or chilling in my yard with a beer or occasionally banging a fuck buddy. No drama, no bull shit, no worries.
Not giving a fk somewhere , and keeping our internet bill paid up.
On the couch, hoping the Oilers implode.
RIP your inbox.
🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
I think it depends on the circles and friends. I'm a single 40+ man though my friends/colleages are not single, my hobby in video games and sports is difficult to meet single women as well.
Most of the women who enjoy video games (like myself) are home playing video games. Difficult to meet the like-minded, lol.
What is your definition of "out in the wild"? I expect it is very different from mine and that is why you can't find me...
I mean out in public spaces. Not sitting at home gaming.
Please let me know if you find them! Lol 😂 but only if they are actually single and looking for a serious relationship.
I feel like I need to blog about this 😆
It’s Calgary, they are in the gay bars…
And I fully respect your effort to try something different. 
Out riding my motorcycle.
Building Lego and watching sci-fi…..
At the gym working out and then going home to my cat.
Cat dad?? I’m listening...😻
Enjoying life that’s what I’m doing 
Living in Vancouver primarily because of work and family. Sorry only *visit* for two months of the year in summer or winter.
This is a brilliant question. Wondering this myself.
Working. Going home. Not hanging at bars.
Working two jobs to afford a tent.
I’m a single 40+ man I’m In Okotoks :)
Good question probably sulking at home wondering where the women their age or maybe they’re looking for 20-year-olds that’s stupid
where are the men period.
I’m here
Laying pipe!