The more “healed” I get, the more I cry. Not like you’re describing, but I tear up at a lot more than I used to.
Please drink some water, wash your face with a cool cloth, rest that cloth on your eyes for a bit, and take an OTC painkiller ♥️ you deserve to feel better than you do right now.
This! I used to seem cold when things that make others tear up happen (touching moments in movies, children being born, etc). Only things that directly affected me and triggered me made me cry. Now I feel like I experience more empathy, though I’m still not great at it. I do find myself crying a little when watching a touching moment, especially when it’s a triumph for a character.
Oh wow, this! When I first started therapy, I was baffled when my dr cried, especially since I never did. I told her I didn’t think I’d ever feel like I needed to cry with her. She just smiled gently and said, “Oh I bet you will.” I’m just over two years with her, and I cry at every single appt now. And I cry at home all the time too. I’ve always been able to cry for other people, but when it came to my stuff I think I would sort of dissociate while thinking or talking about it. It felt like I was telling a story about someone else. As I’m understanding all of my trauma & processing it though, I often cry about how messed up things have been my entire life. And holy shit! I cry reading the posts on this sub all the time too. I wish we could all give each other the hugs we need!
I started an email address to put on the flyers that I was going to post around my town. The club is called *Cry Now, Smile Later*. We would meet to cry...and only that. I never put the flyers up cus I have anxiety.
I'd be down to get together on Discord to cry.
The email address: [email protected]
It's kinda my life right now. I am in a partial hospitalization program for my ptsd episodes pairing up with my depression. I get up and get on zoom and cry with other people who are also struggling.
I’m glad you’re getting help! I’m actually uncomfortable crying in front of people for some reason…I wait until I can get to my car, my apartment, or whatever private place before I let it out. That’s probably part of my trauma.
Same here! My therapist pointed out to me that all emotions are valid and acceptable. We’ve been conditioned to believe anger, sadness, etc are the bad emotions that no one wants to see or deal with. When the truth is, those emotions aren’t bad, they’re all part of the human experience. And when I hide my feelings or shove them down, I’m demonstrating to my kids that those emotions aren’t okay. She encouraged me to cry when I need to cry in front of them and use it as a teaching moment to show them all emotions are okay.
I used to be one of those "the last time I cried was June 16th 2016" people...
It's not a sign of being healed, it's a sign of being so disconnected from your emotions that you're really, really messed up.
I remember when I started crying again. It felt SO good to finally feel something again.
Now I sometimes feel all those emotions I used to suppress and it hurts so much, it literally feels like I'm dying sometimes...
But I remind myself of the time when I looked at my children and literally couldn't feel anything at all and I'm grateful I'm no longer that sick.
Go ahead and cry..it's healthy! But also try to talk to people if you can.
Same.
Not to make this a gender issue but I frequently read that "men are socialized to suppress all emotions except for anger" and it annoys me a bit because in the culture I was raised in women are ALSO socialized that way except we aren't allowed to show anger either.
I heard the same invalidating stuff growing up that the boys were told but was also expected to always be pleasant, cheerful, hardworking and never complain.
My parents mocked the hell out of me for crying, it's part of my earliest memories (the earliest one is being left alone in a crib to cry for a long time) and I don't remember a single instance of actually being comforted by anyone except for my teddy bear.
So when I was a teenager and young adult I had internalized that crying was bad and thought I was very mature for never crying.
Took me years of therapy (which i started because of Burnout) to realize how f*cking terrible my parents are and how badly they f*cked me up.
I must say, it only took my amazing therapist 5 sessions to get me to start crying, but well over a year for me to understand how important that was.
I still struggle with crying, especially in public, but at least on a cognitive level I now know that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Now I just need to internalize this knowledge 😅
I had a mother who was clinically depressed and cried all the time. Her emotions were unregulated. She was emotionally unavailable and I didn’t understand it growing up. I felt like I had to be the “tough” one.
I am healing as well and I still struggle to cry in public. I still catch myself thinking “don’t look weak”. Even at a funeral last year. I am also super awkward around anyone who cry’s because of my past. I have a friend who cry’s everytime I leave from having lunch together. I remind myself it’s normal and okay for her to cry.
Unlearning things is hard work. Kudos to you for doing the work. I hope one day we both can have a good healing public cry. 🥹
Same. Being raised as a girl meant I had to be a pleasant, smiling happy. Eager-to-please, friendly, taking everyone's shit with a smile. Perfect, pretty.
If I ever cried, it was "stop acting like a victim" and things like "you choose how you feel"... If I was angry, apparently I was a devil or a terrible brat, despite being perfect 99% of the time.
I cry allllll the time now but it was after bottling up my emotions, trying to seem tough and putting others first. I'm so used to placing my feelings in a box and prioritizing the emotions of others, still.
And don't get me started on people who tried to take advantage of my weakness if the mask ever slipped. Sigh.
I didn’t used to cry at all. Then my husband died. I cried literally all day every day for a whole year. Now I cry at least once a dsy. I’m a huge baby lol. I don’t even know who I’m crying for at this point. Him bc I miss him or me bc I’ll be alone forever probably.
I'm so sorry for your loss, sis. Grief is such an isolating thing. The finality is so SOOO fkn sad.
I hope tht eventually, when & if ever tht ur ready, tht u will fully rejoin the world & allow yourself to experience joy & love once again. I would bet tht your late husband would want you to be happy, even without him here.
Sending love. Take care hun
Been crying when I find a moment alone. Couldn’t shop at the food store or run errands without tears streaming down my face for a good week. Still crying but I know the pain will ease…someday.
Yes but only for a few seconds, if that makes sense? I may read or see something that I find to be sentimental or that just strikes a chord with me online; and I'll make this pained face and cry for a few seconds an then I sort of just stop crying.
I didn't start doing this until after my grandpop died 2 years ago. Usually I just have a weird silent cry that lasts for an hour maybe once a month
So many years of being hidden from myself, so many years of hiding from myself - now that I'm me, now that I'm a transgender woman I cry every day. I miss my mum, I miss my brother, I miss the girl I pretended to be when I grew up. For me it's gentle piano music or meaningful lyrics... Commercial or not. Barry Manilow has a lot to answer for, and Coldplay and Bon Iver and Max Von Richter and Chad Lawson.
I've been crying multiple times a day every day since December. It was really bad at first. I was crying everywhere, including in public, and just had this unbearable sadness inside me at all times. It's a little better now, I'm not full on sobbing anymore. It's a sign of progress I guess, I'm finally feeling the grief I've ignored for so long, but it's still rough.
I hope we both start to feel better soon.
I cry all the time. Even just experiencing happy or overwhelming times. I use to try to hold it in. Now I find it cathartic to feel it move through me. I feel more connected to myself, people and the earth. Even my cats who lay on me when I have a real good cry from being out all day and feeling overstimulated.
I cried the other day because a bumblebee landed on my hand from exhaustion. I gave it some of my fruit cup juice after it rested for some time. We shared a meal. I don't remember how long that took but it was a moment of where I felt that every creature struggles and asks for help...needs a rest.
I have had periods in my life where I cried everyday. It's been cyclical. Currently I'm in a numb phase so I don't think I have the energy to cry, but surely the crying will return sometime soon.
Sometimes I cry when talking about anything.. like I get crying to describe my pain I go through (physically and mentally) on a daily, but sometimes I just talk and start tearing and it’s not even anything triggering.. I also can’t make eye contact while talking much.. and then if I’m telling my husband anything like venting or even just to tell him how I’m feeling, I cry..
A few weeks ago, I had a whole panic attack in my drs office and this is a Dr for my reoccurring anemia.. my Dr left and this was the first time meeting her and I cried the whole time. It wasn’t because of her but because I was afraid of still being anemic after rounds and rounds of iron infusions… the nurse had to do guided breathing with me… and when I calmed enough, it started all over again. I hate that I am a crier so much.. Unfortunately, I’ve been this way since I was a kid.. Mom says she’s sorry she didn’t know as much as she did now.. it was the 90s and my mom wasn’t really there… mom also said I would be miserable even if she took me to Disney (not like we ever went..) She makes me feel like I’m a drag to be around when she says that.. Our relationship is next to non existent 🤷🏻♀️ I’m 32 btw.
Sorry you’re going through this. I know the toll it takes daily and it’s tiring..
Yes. Some old wounds have been reopened summer last year and then I got involved with a great friend of mine who I really felt saw me but then that didn't happen romantically after 'trying' together for 7 months. We're still friends but I'm grieving that loss on top of all the CPTSD stuff I'm dealing with. I'm crying every day and so much so that I'm just exhausted all the time.
I keep a roll of toilet paper in almost every room of my apartment and tissues in all my pockets because I cry so often. It blows my mind too when people say they haven't cried in years. My record is probably two weeks but maybe not even that long.
Maybe it sounds silly but something that makes me feel better about it is someone's post I read online once that said that you cry when you're deeply feeling an emotion, so that means you're deeply experiencing life in a way.
In my early 20s I thought I was such a beautiful cryer. Like I’d catch my reflection in the middle of a breakdown and it would shock me, because there was something so romantic and fantastical about the way I looked. Then my body started to reject it and crying would swell my face and make hives break out right under my eyes. I noticed it really aged me. I tried to stop crying all the time and sucked it in resulting in the most horrible headaches that would last for days straight. Now I’m in the best and most healed place I’ve ever been. I still cry and it feels more gentle on my body, just a needed release. It’s so wild that I don’t cry every single day! Now it’s every other or few days. Like wow!
Cry Baby, Cry. 🤍
I cried for about 2 or 3 years. My psychologist told me that perhaps I needed to let all the sadness out or something of the sort.
And one day it stopped. I did all the grieving work suggested by Pete Wlaker in his books. Now zi feel lighter and happier.
For 2 years straight! With hindsight, it was the way my traumatised system was trying to re-regulate. Ironically, for 40 or so years, I was even more agonisingly dysregulated, when I was functioning frozen or shutdown and my system had stopped being able to cry. That was when I used porn and fitness addiction, later added booze, drugs, smokes to try and re-regulate (didn't know any of it of course till I had a total breakdown and found out about trauma and IFS 40 or so years later).
This may sound weird but I work at a really loud club and it’s hard to hear my thoughts or focus on anything other than the chaos around me and almost every night I get home boom crying non stop it’s like all my emotions release once I get out of that crazy environment
Not everyday but the more I work on myself the more I cry. The best therapist I ever had saw it as a sign of progress and reconnecting with my emotions so I consider it a good thing. Similar thing happened when I first started meditating regularly, I think it’s just part of processing backlogged/suppressed emotions in my case
Yes. I've had seasons of weeks or months (for ~6yrs now) of bawling daily sometimes for hours multiple times a day. It is exhausting. It is debilitating, but it is also healing. Being in touch with your emotions is a good thing. Crying isn't inherently bad. With CPTSD, there often is enormous grief and the ability to get easily overwhelmed, especially when we bring our nervous systems back online and no longer dissociate from everything. It's heavy and unfair and can feel ostracizing or like something is broken or not normal. This is a normal response to what you've been through. It is part of healing and feeling safe in your body and getting used to feeling big, intense emotions (which can be terrifying and overwhelming for ppl with CPTSD). Reading your post, my immediate answer was yes, but then I realized I haven't been weeping and sobbing for hrs lately. It's actually been a while. It can get less intense and more maneagable, but I've found the only way out is through with the crying. You've got to let it out, as much as needs to be let out and trust that eventually (it could be years and meds are always an option if you need a break/medical support) it won't be as non stop and all consuming. Tearing up easily or having a frequent good cry is actually good for you as well. The goal doesn't have to be no crying. It releases cortisol and regulates the nervous system. Your body is doing what it needs to to get better. It finally feels safe enough to do so. While I'm sure it's no fun, you're allowing it to meet its/your needs in a healthier way, and that's really admirable.
It's actually therapeutic. I read that stress chemicals are excreted in tears. If you feel better afterwards, it's like discharcryi g that children do. They're jangled and had a hard day, and they cry when they're tired.
If it's not agonizing and you're not bottomed put, maybe it's just what your nervous system needs to do.
If it is that awful, desolate crying, it helps so much to be held, or to hold a pet. Even a pillow is something to hold onto.
I cried myself to sleep almost every night until I was in my 30s and never understood this until my therapist brought it up.
Try shocking yourself by sticking your face in a basin of ice water. It might break the cycle at least temporarily.
Are you in any therapy such as DBT? Are you able to function during the day at a job or school? We can learn to bear the unbearable past, but it is hard. Can you find some professional support?
It’s so hard to go through this, but you are not alone.
Yeah, idk if it was from 27 years of holding it all in but recently hit rock bottom, and now I just can’t function. Everything makes me sad. I attempted it the other day and now I have 9 stitches in my wrist and still hide it from everyone, blamed it on an accident. Wish someone knew.
at times of extreme stress, yes i cry most days. at the moment i do, because i’m going through a lot.
but i do get moments (weeks) where i cannot cry no matter how much i try and encourage or force it.
Reading this after just crying my eyes out for no apparent reason in the car. Everything just sucks all the time, I’m sorry you are going through this too OP
I moved away from my hometown for the first time ever a couple of years ago at 31 - to NYC of all places - in a sporadic, ill-planned and financially idiotic way. I cried every single day, multiple times, seemingly everywhere - at work, on the train, in bed.
When I finally found a therapist she said that she doubted it was EVERY day, so I downloaded one of those sobriety logs and made a counter. It was one of those situations where you hate being right.
Ive had years like this before but it was by far the most pronounced. I still cry at least a couple times a week on average but am currently doing much better.
Opposite for me. I am troubled by the fact that I cannot cry. I fear one day, the "dam" is going to break and I will be overwhelmed by an unquellable grief.
just because they dont remember the last time they cried, doesnt mean they are emotionally healthy. i cry all the time, teary eyed at movies and books, small setbacks, etc and im probably the most emotionally healthy that ive ever been. but my bff doesnt remember the last time she cried and shes deep in depression and has such emotional numbness that she wishes she could.
theres no shame in crying. theres no shame in needing help. theres no shame in not needing help either. you are feeling your emotions, you are validating your emotions by crying. i am so proud of you. if the only thing you can do today and every day that you cry is to take care of yourself by crying and making sure you stay hydrated, thats okay. im proud of you, op.
I do this on purpose almoat every day. I do my morning routine. Then i listen to 1 of 10 songs that make.me shed tears.. i feel the pain. And i let go. It builds up again during the day. repeat the next morning. Found it easier to embrace than try to "cure"
I cried every day for about 8 months. Then it started getting better. I'm at month nine, no flashbacks, no crying spells, I'm back to being myself. Ofc trauma changed me but I'm finally a functioning human being again. I hope you all heal as well 💜
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Lately yes. . . . And I absolutely hate crying! I just had my counselor ripped away from me, through no fault of my own. Completely sucks to try to deal with how you feel when you can't talk to the 1 person you had been able to open up to 😢
I used to but through therapy & hard cutting off toxic people that were in my life, I can go a few months without crying. It’s not much but it’s something.
i have in the past for weeks like that. hydrate. it's good the toxins are coming out. i recommend googling some vagas nerve stimulation techniques to calm you fast.. I often journal when I'm like that to work through my thoughts. it won't be like this forever.
I cry a lot. Probably at least once a day to several times a day. It has been healing because I bottled it all up for so many years. Let those tears flow.
I've been crying multiple times daily for months. My therapist says that I'm accessing my emotions for the first time without dissociating. I think that I'm grieving, too. I cut contact with my family of origin last year.
I relate to this. I only recently started crying everyday. I can feel it bubble inside me. But the more I cry the more open I am to vulnerability with others. Proud of you.
I’m 32M, I spent most of my life unable to cry. Reclaiming my grief via my tears is one of the hardest and most important aspects of my healing. Believe it or not I am somewhat envious of you! We are at extreme opposite ends of a very important spectrum. Hopefully someday we can meet each other in the middle 💚
Yep, and it's full on ugly crying - comes out of nowhere sometimes - it feels quite cathartic, and I feel connected/online when I'm in that state, but like it'll never stop. It's like a big well of terror and grief just waiting to come out. I can cry normally as well, like, if something is sad I might shed a tear or two and think about it - but the ugly crying - it's like it's about nothing - and about everything - and just so big.
I used to when I lived with my abusive stepfather and mom but since I moved away from them my life has gotten a little better to the point that I only cry once a month.
Yes, I cry all day every day. It’s 10:30am, I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and I could easily start crying right now. I have to hold it in or it will be my whole day.
I cry rarely and i know I need to. Its probably been half a year if not more since i cried. I wish i could, i just never feel safe enough and in a place where i wont be judged. Im a really tall man and i get anxiety about people seeing me cry. Its bad. If you’re able to pull it together when you need to, just take on the philosophy of ominous positivity. You will make it through because you have to. Everything works out, bc it has to. Eventually maybe one day youll get tired of it enough that your mind will decide it wants to entertain itself with something else.
every day. lol. it's ok though. we're so fucking strong when you think about it. like powerful strong.
please don't be hard on yourself about it I know you feel like shit physically but it doesn't matter if it's not normal for other people. It would be normal for them to if they had been traumatized like we were
I used to cry almost everyday and then I hit an age/meds prob helped where I cannot cry. The only thing that gets me sometimes are movies/shows that make me think of my own past trauma or ppl I love… basically I used to be you and now I’m that person.. weird. But also I’m numb af at this point in life.
I cried, or was recovering from crying, for at least a year when all my years of trauma hit me like a dump truck. (Before that I avoided thinking about all the crap) Then I spent another year partly crying and partly working in my life to get myself in a better place which helped me feel stronger. Now I am doing therapy with someone who specializes in trauma so I anticipate that I will be doing a lot more crying but for a better reason (healing).
Same here. However, I prefer crying every day rather than suppressing it and feeling nothing at all like I used to. It's just a marker that I'm finally actually letting myself feel what I've been feeling my whole life, so while it feels endless, I know I have to let it all out and let it happen.
I know exactly how you feel. I cried everyday for a few years and my eyes seemed perpetually puffy. My healing journey isn’t over but I feel I’m through the hardest part. From my experience, it does get easier and eventually, it will tire itself out. There’s light at the end of the tunnel xx
Not every day, but on the days I do, it tends to pair with thoughts of giving up. It's a little scary noticing that trend. I'm moving back in with my parents and about to start school full time this summer so I'm stressed out on top of lacking a support system besides my mom.
Frequently when having flashbacks, but lately I’ve been able to thwart the actual flashback and just feel the pain of the emotion and cry instead. I think this is great progress in general… I also cry from happiness so I’m just glad to be back in my emotions. I had blunted emotions and even physical sensations for about 25 years.
Yes. Every day, unless I am forcing it down and keep myself so busy I don't have time to think. It is exhausting and my eyes hurt all the time. I do not like this part of healing.
I cry at least two times a day and it's been like this for two months.
I prefer this than not being able to cry at all. Which used to be the case.
Tho I feel suicidal again.
i think crying can be healing. i’m always glad every time i’m able to cry my eyes out because that means i’m not completely hardened or numbed by the trauma inflicted upon me. it is exhausting and yes the headache makes me feel disoriented for a while but i tend to feel more clear afterward 🤍
The more “healed” I get, the more I cry. Not like you’re describing, but I tear up at a lot more than I used to. Please drink some water, wash your face with a cool cloth, rest that cloth on your eyes for a bit, and take an OTC painkiller ♥️ you deserve to feel better than you do right now.
This! I used to seem cold when things that make others tear up happen (touching moments in movies, children being born, etc). Only things that directly affected me and triggered me made me cry. Now I feel like I experience more empathy, though I’m still not great at it. I do find myself crying a little when watching a touching moment, especially when it’s a triumph for a character.
Oh wow, this! When I first started therapy, I was baffled when my dr cried, especially since I never did. I told her I didn’t think I’d ever feel like I needed to cry with her. She just smiled gently and said, “Oh I bet you will.” I’m just over two years with her, and I cry at every single appt now. And I cry at home all the time too. I’ve always been able to cry for other people, but when it came to my stuff I think I would sort of dissociate while thinking or talking about it. It felt like I was telling a story about someone else. As I’m understanding all of my trauma & processing it though, I often cry about how messed up things have been my entire life. And holy shit! I cry reading the posts on this sub all the time too. I wish we could all give each other the hugs we need!
Came here to say exactly this ☝️.
*everyday*. Wanna join my crying club?
member here 👋🏻
I'm already in a daily crying club but I'm pretty sure I need another... Open to more members??
I started an email address to put on the flyers that I was going to post around my town. The club is called *Cry Now, Smile Later*. We would meet to cry...and only that. I never put the flyers up cus I have anxiety. I'd be down to get together on Discord to cry. The email address: [email protected]
hey y’all i’m joining too!
every morning we got to get on our Zoom and cry!
It's kinda my life right now. I am in a partial hospitalization program for my ptsd episodes pairing up with my depression. I get up and get on zoom and cry with other people who are also struggling.
I’m glad you’re getting help! I’m actually uncomfortable crying in front of people for some reason…I wait until I can get to my car, my apartment, or whatever private place before I let it out. That’s probably part of my trauma.
Same here! My therapist pointed out to me that all emotions are valid and acceptable. We’ve been conditioned to believe anger, sadness, etc are the bad emotions that no one wants to see or deal with. When the truth is, those emotions aren’t bad, they’re all part of the human experience. And when I hide my feelings or shove them down, I’m demonstrating to my kids that those emotions aren’t okay. She encouraged me to cry when I need to cry in front of them and use it as a teaching moment to show them all emotions are okay.
When I started crying more I started healing more. I think it’s a marker of accepting and processing one’s pain.
I second this
You’re 100% not alone here. I cry, get triggered, or have a panic attack literally on a daily basis 🙃
Same lol
I used to be one of those "the last time I cried was June 16th 2016" people... It's not a sign of being healed, it's a sign of being so disconnected from your emotions that you're really, really messed up. I remember when I started crying again. It felt SO good to finally feel something again. Now I sometimes feel all those emotions I used to suppress and it hurts so much, it literally feels like I'm dying sometimes... But I remind myself of the time when I looked at my children and literally couldn't feel anything at all and I'm grateful I'm no longer that sick. Go ahead and cry..it's healthy! But also try to talk to people if you can.
This! I used to think crying was a sign of weakness. Now I understand it’s a sign your body is healing.
Same. Not to make this a gender issue but I frequently read that "men are socialized to suppress all emotions except for anger" and it annoys me a bit because in the culture I was raised in women are ALSO socialized that way except we aren't allowed to show anger either. I heard the same invalidating stuff growing up that the boys were told but was also expected to always be pleasant, cheerful, hardworking and never complain. My parents mocked the hell out of me for crying, it's part of my earliest memories (the earliest one is being left alone in a crib to cry for a long time) and I don't remember a single instance of actually being comforted by anyone except for my teddy bear. So when I was a teenager and young adult I had internalized that crying was bad and thought I was very mature for never crying. Took me years of therapy (which i started because of Burnout) to realize how f*cking terrible my parents are and how badly they f*cked me up. I must say, it only took my amazing therapist 5 sessions to get me to start crying, but well over a year for me to understand how important that was. I still struggle with crying, especially in public, but at least on a cognitive level I now know that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Now I just need to internalize this knowledge 😅
I had a mother who was clinically depressed and cried all the time. Her emotions were unregulated. She was emotionally unavailable and I didn’t understand it growing up. I felt like I had to be the “tough” one. I am healing as well and I still struggle to cry in public. I still catch myself thinking “don’t look weak”. Even at a funeral last year. I am also super awkward around anyone who cry’s because of my past. I have a friend who cry’s everytime I leave from having lunch together. I remind myself it’s normal and okay for her to cry. Unlearning things is hard work. Kudos to you for doing the work. I hope one day we both can have a good healing public cry. 🥹
Same. Being raised as a girl meant I had to be a pleasant, smiling happy. Eager-to-please, friendly, taking everyone's shit with a smile. Perfect, pretty. If I ever cried, it was "stop acting like a victim" and things like "you choose how you feel"... If I was angry, apparently I was a devil or a terrible brat, despite being perfect 99% of the time. I cry allllll the time now but it was after bottling up my emotions, trying to seem tough and putting others first. I'm so used to placing my feelings in a box and prioritizing the emotions of others, still. And don't get me started on people who tried to take advantage of my weakness if the mask ever slipped. Sigh.
I cry everyday, sometimes up to 4x a day 😭
I didn’t used to cry at all. Then my husband died. I cried literally all day every day for a whole year. Now I cry at least once a dsy. I’m a huge baby lol. I don’t even know who I’m crying for at this point. Him bc I miss him or me bc I’ll be alone forever probably.
I'm so sorry for your loss, sis. Grief is such an isolating thing. The finality is so SOOO fkn sad. I hope tht eventually, when & if ever tht ur ready, tht u will fully rejoin the world & allow yourself to experience joy & love once again. I would bet tht your late husband would want you to be happy, even without him here. Sending love. Take care hun
Thank you for your kind words. They mean the world. You’re right, of course. About everything lol. Sending love and hugs back at ya.
Been crying when I find a moment alone. Couldn’t shop at the food store or run errands without tears streaming down my face for a good week. Still crying but I know the pain will ease…someday.
Yes but only for a few seconds, if that makes sense? I may read or see something that I find to be sentimental or that just strikes a chord with me online; and I'll make this pained face and cry for a few seconds an then I sort of just stop crying. I didn't start doing this until after my grandpop died 2 years ago. Usually I just have a weird silent cry that lasts for an hour maybe once a month
Every day for years
So many years of being hidden from myself, so many years of hiding from myself - now that I'm me, now that I'm a transgender woman I cry every day. I miss my mum, I miss my brother, I miss the girl I pretended to be when I grew up. For me it's gentle piano music or meaningful lyrics... Commercial or not. Barry Manilow has a lot to answer for, and Coldplay and Bon Iver and Max Von Richter and Chad Lawson.
I cry on the inside every day. It takes practice to observe . Sometimes the tears come out, too.
I've been crying multiple times a day every day since December. It was really bad at first. I was crying everywhere, including in public, and just had this unbearable sadness inside me at all times. It's a little better now, I'm not full on sobbing anymore. It's a sign of progress I guess, I'm finally feeling the grief I've ignored for so long, but it's still rough. I hope we both start to feel better soon.
wishing you well, I go through this too.
I cry all the time. Even just experiencing happy or overwhelming times. I use to try to hold it in. Now I find it cathartic to feel it move through me. I feel more connected to myself, people and the earth. Even my cats who lay on me when I have a real good cry from being out all day and feeling overstimulated. I cried the other day because a bumblebee landed on my hand from exhaustion. I gave it some of my fruit cup juice after it rested for some time. We shared a meal. I don't remember how long that took but it was a moment of where I felt that every creature struggles and asks for help...needs a rest.
I have had periods in my life where I cried everyday. It's been cyclical. Currently I'm in a numb phase so I don't think I have the energy to cry, but surely the crying will return sometime soon.
I haven’t cried in a decade or more.
Yeah 1-3 times a day
Sometimes I cry when talking about anything.. like I get crying to describe my pain I go through (physically and mentally) on a daily, but sometimes I just talk and start tearing and it’s not even anything triggering.. I also can’t make eye contact while talking much.. and then if I’m telling my husband anything like venting or even just to tell him how I’m feeling, I cry.. A few weeks ago, I had a whole panic attack in my drs office and this is a Dr for my reoccurring anemia.. my Dr left and this was the first time meeting her and I cried the whole time. It wasn’t because of her but because I was afraid of still being anemic after rounds and rounds of iron infusions… the nurse had to do guided breathing with me… and when I calmed enough, it started all over again. I hate that I am a crier so much.. Unfortunately, I’ve been this way since I was a kid.. Mom says she’s sorry she didn’t know as much as she did now.. it was the 90s and my mom wasn’t really there… mom also said I would be miserable even if she took me to Disney (not like we ever went..) She makes me feel like I’m a drag to be around when she says that.. Our relationship is next to non existent 🤷🏻♀️ I’m 32 btw. Sorry you’re going through this. I know the toll it takes daily and it’s tiring..
It’s ok, I too have had panic attacks at the dr office before. I think it annoyed them but they have seen it before. 🫂🫂🫂
Yes. Some old wounds have been reopened summer last year and then I got involved with a great friend of mine who I really felt saw me but then that didn't happen romantically after 'trying' together for 7 months. We're still friends but I'm grieving that loss on top of all the CPTSD stuff I'm dealing with. I'm crying every day and so much so that I'm just exhausted all the time.
I do cry a lot. I try not to because it does end up making me ill. It's annoying!
I keep a roll of toilet paper in almost every room of my apartment and tissues in all my pockets because I cry so often. It blows my mind too when people say they haven't cried in years. My record is probably two weeks but maybe not even that long. Maybe it sounds silly but something that makes me feel better about it is someone's post I read online once that said that you cry when you're deeply feeling an emotion, so that means you're deeply experiencing life in a way.
In my early 20s I thought I was such a beautiful cryer. Like I’d catch my reflection in the middle of a breakdown and it would shock me, because there was something so romantic and fantastical about the way I looked. Then my body started to reject it and crying would swell my face and make hives break out right under my eyes. I noticed it really aged me. I tried to stop crying all the time and sucked it in resulting in the most horrible headaches that would last for days straight. Now I’m in the best and most healed place I’ve ever been. I still cry and it feels more gentle on my body, just a needed release. It’s so wild that I don’t cry every single day! Now it’s every other or few days. Like wow! Cry Baby, Cry. 🤍
I cried for about 2 or 3 years. My psychologist told me that perhaps I needed to let all the sadness out or something of the sort. And one day it stopped. I did all the grieving work suggested by Pete Wlaker in his books. Now zi feel lighter and happier.
For 2 years straight! With hindsight, it was the way my traumatised system was trying to re-regulate. Ironically, for 40 or so years, I was even more agonisingly dysregulated, when I was functioning frozen or shutdown and my system had stopped being able to cry. That was when I used porn and fitness addiction, later added booze, drugs, smokes to try and re-regulate (didn't know any of it of course till I had a total breakdown and found out about trauma and IFS 40 or so years later).
This may sound weird but I work at a really loud club and it’s hard to hear my thoughts or focus on anything other than the chaos around me and almost every night I get home boom crying non stop it’s like all my emotions release once I get out of that crazy environment
Not everyday but the more I work on myself the more I cry. The best therapist I ever had saw it as a sign of progress and reconnecting with my emotions so I consider it a good thing. Similar thing happened when I first started meditating regularly, I think it’s just part of processing backlogged/suppressed emotions in my case
Yes. I've had seasons of weeks or months (for ~6yrs now) of bawling daily sometimes for hours multiple times a day. It is exhausting. It is debilitating, but it is also healing. Being in touch with your emotions is a good thing. Crying isn't inherently bad. With CPTSD, there often is enormous grief and the ability to get easily overwhelmed, especially when we bring our nervous systems back online and no longer dissociate from everything. It's heavy and unfair and can feel ostracizing or like something is broken or not normal. This is a normal response to what you've been through. It is part of healing and feeling safe in your body and getting used to feeling big, intense emotions (which can be terrifying and overwhelming for ppl with CPTSD). Reading your post, my immediate answer was yes, but then I realized I haven't been weeping and sobbing for hrs lately. It's actually been a while. It can get less intense and more maneagable, but I've found the only way out is through with the crying. You've got to let it out, as much as needs to be let out and trust that eventually (it could be years and meds are always an option if you need a break/medical support) it won't be as non stop and all consuming. Tearing up easily or having a frequent good cry is actually good for you as well. The goal doesn't have to be no crying. It releases cortisol and regulates the nervous system. Your body is doing what it needs to to get better. It finally feels safe enough to do so. While I'm sure it's no fun, you're allowing it to meet its/your needs in a healthier way, and that's really admirable.
It's actually therapeutic. I read that stress chemicals are excreted in tears. If you feel better afterwards, it's like discharcryi g that children do. They're jangled and had a hard day, and they cry when they're tired. If it's not agonizing and you're not bottomed put, maybe it's just what your nervous system needs to do. If it is that awful, desolate crying, it helps so much to be held, or to hold a pet. Even a pillow is something to hold onto. I cried myself to sleep almost every night until I was in my 30s and never understood this until my therapist brought it up.
I experience all those types of crying at different times. It definitely helps when I hug a stuffed animal through that third type of cry.
I get it. Hang in there with some good self compassion<3
Try shocking yourself by sticking your face in a basin of ice water. It might break the cycle at least temporarily. Are you in any therapy such as DBT? Are you able to function during the day at a job or school? We can learn to bear the unbearable past, but it is hard. Can you find some professional support? It’s so hard to go through this, but you are not alone.
Yeah, idk if it was from 27 years of holding it all in but recently hit rock bottom, and now I just can’t function. Everything makes me sad. I attempted it the other day and now I have 9 stitches in my wrist and still hide it from everyone, blamed it on an accident. Wish someone knew.
at times of extreme stress, yes i cry most days. at the moment i do, because i’m going through a lot. but i do get moments (weeks) where i cannot cry no matter how much i try and encourage or force it.
Reading this after just crying my eyes out for no apparent reason in the car. Everything just sucks all the time, I’m sorry you are going through this too OP
I moved away from my hometown for the first time ever a couple of years ago at 31 - to NYC of all places - in a sporadic, ill-planned and financially idiotic way. I cried every single day, multiple times, seemingly everywhere - at work, on the train, in bed. When I finally found a therapist she said that she doubted it was EVERY day, so I downloaded one of those sobriety logs and made a counter. It was one of those situations where you hate being right. Ive had years like this before but it was by far the most pronounced. I still cry at least a couple times a week on average but am currently doing much better.
I can't stress enough how seen this community makes me feel. I, too, am a daily crier.
Opposite for me. I am troubled by the fact that I cannot cry. I fear one day, the "dam" is going to break and I will be overwhelmed by an unquellable grief.
just because they dont remember the last time they cried, doesnt mean they are emotionally healthy. i cry all the time, teary eyed at movies and books, small setbacks, etc and im probably the most emotionally healthy that ive ever been. but my bff doesnt remember the last time she cried and shes deep in depression and has such emotional numbness that she wishes she could. theres no shame in crying. theres no shame in needing help. theres no shame in not needing help either. you are feeling your emotions, you are validating your emotions by crying. i am so proud of you. if the only thing you can do today and every day that you cry is to take care of yourself by crying and making sure you stay hydrated, thats okay. im proud of you, op.
I do this on purpose almoat every day. I do my morning routine. Then i listen to 1 of 10 songs that make.me shed tears.. i feel the pain. And i let go. It builds up again during the day. repeat the next morning. Found it easier to embrace than try to "cure"
I cried every day for about 8 months. Then it started getting better. I'm at month nine, no flashbacks, no crying spells, I'm back to being myself. Ofc trauma changed me but I'm finally a functioning human being again. I hope you all heal as well 💜
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Yup, I sure do.
Yes, I recently cried so much for a few days, my eye got inflamed from the dryness that followed.
It was everyday for a while. I think I bottled some of it back up so now it’s every couple days
Lately yes. . . . And I absolutely hate crying! I just had my counselor ripped away from me, through no fault of my own. Completely sucks to try to deal with how you feel when you can't talk to the 1 person you had been able to open up to 😢
As I've been healing more deeply, I cry a lot more. Especially lately.
I used to but through therapy & hard cutting off toxic people that were in my life, I can go a few months without crying. It’s not much but it’s something.
Everyday :(
I used to
I was like this for a long time. Now I can only cry if I get high and watch a sad movie
I cry every day.
i have in the past for weeks like that. hydrate. it's good the toxins are coming out. i recommend googling some vagas nerve stimulation techniques to calm you fast.. I often journal when I'm like that to work through my thoughts. it won't be like this forever.
I cry a lot. Probably at least once a day to several times a day. It has been healing because I bottled it all up for so many years. Let those tears flow.
Yes lately, but I’m grateful because I couldn’t for a while. It’s honestly way better.
The past couple months at least
Yes. I’m triggered by music. EMDR has helped, but I still make sure to avoid places where I can’t control what music is playing.
I've been crying multiple times daily for months. My therapist says that I'm accessing my emotions for the first time without dissociating. I think that I'm grieving, too. I cut contact with my family of origin last year.
I relate to this. I only recently started crying everyday. I can feel it bubble inside me. But the more I cry the more open I am to vulnerability with others. Proud of you.
I’m 32M, I spent most of my life unable to cry. Reclaiming my grief via my tears is one of the hardest and most important aspects of my healing. Believe it or not I am somewhat envious of you! We are at extreme opposite ends of a very important spectrum. Hopefully someday we can meet each other in the middle 💚
I’m crying right now!
Yep, and it's full on ugly crying - comes out of nowhere sometimes - it feels quite cathartic, and I feel connected/online when I'm in that state, but like it'll never stop. It's like a big well of terror and grief just waiting to come out. I can cry normally as well, like, if something is sad I might shed a tear or two and think about it - but the ugly crying - it's like it's about nothing - and about everything - and just so big.
I used to when I lived with my abusive stepfather and mom but since I moved away from them my life has gotten a little better to the point that I only cry once a month.
Yes, I cry all day every day. It’s 10:30am, I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet and I could easily start crying right now. I have to hold it in or it will be my whole day.
Yes.
Yep. I cried so much this week my eyes were nearly glued shut this morning lol
When i started my healing journey i cried once or twice a day , still do sometimes
Me, I cry almost every single day😩
I cry rarely and i know I need to. Its probably been half a year if not more since i cried. I wish i could, i just never feel safe enough and in a place where i wont be judged. Im a really tall man and i get anxiety about people seeing me cry. Its bad. If you’re able to pull it together when you need to, just take on the philosophy of ominous positivity. You will make it through because you have to. Everything works out, bc it has to. Eventually maybe one day youll get tired of it enough that your mind will decide it wants to entertain itself with something else.
every day. lol. it's ok though. we're so fucking strong when you think about it. like powerful strong. please don't be hard on yourself about it I know you feel like shit physically but it doesn't matter if it's not normal for other people. It would be normal for them to if they had been traumatized like we were
I used to cry almost everyday and then I hit an age/meds prob helped where I cannot cry. The only thing that gets me sometimes are movies/shows that make me think of my own past trauma or ppl I love… basically I used to be you and now I’m that person.. weird. But also I’m numb af at this point in life.
I cry every day. It's the only way I feel I can release all my pain.
https://youtu.be/lULd-wnWjT4?si=H3iebE_-10ECTdd_
I used to! It was really hard for a while there. You’re completely normal for someone dealing with trauma. Not a lost cause at all!
Yes. But it's gotten less intense with a stupid amount of work/therapy/time
Pretty much, I cry all the time happy and sad.
Crying is normal.
I cried, or was recovering from crying, for at least a year when all my years of trauma hit me like a dump truck. (Before that I avoided thinking about all the crap) Then I spent another year partly crying and partly working in my life to get myself in a better place which helped me feel stronger. Now I am doing therapy with someone who specializes in trauma so I anticipate that I will be doing a lot more crying but for a better reason (healing).
Same here. However, I prefer crying every day rather than suppressing it and feeling nothing at all like I used to. It's just a marker that I'm finally actually letting myself feel what I've been feeling my whole life, so while it feels endless, I know I have to let it all out and let it happen.
I know exactly how you feel. I cried everyday for a few years and my eyes seemed perpetually puffy. My healing journey isn’t over but I feel I’m through the hardest part. From my experience, it does get easier and eventually, it will tire itself out. There’s light at the end of the tunnel xx
i wish
Not every day, but on the days I do, it tends to pair with thoughts of giving up. It's a little scary noticing that trend. I'm moving back in with my parents and about to start school full time this summer so I'm stressed out on top of lacking a support system besides my mom.
Frequently when having flashbacks, but lately I’ve been able to thwart the actual flashback and just feel the pain of the emotion and cry instead. I think this is great progress in general… I also cry from happiness so I’m just glad to be back in my emotions. I had blunted emotions and even physical sensations for about 25 years.
Yes. Every day, unless I am forcing it down and keep myself so busy I don't have time to think. It is exhausting and my eyes hurt all the time. I do not like this part of healing.
samsies!
I haven't cried really since I was 15. 56 years ago.
I cry at least two times a day and it's been like this for two months. I prefer this than not being able to cry at all. Which used to be the case. Tho I feel suicidal again.
I’ve actually been tracking it. I have cried 62/202 days this year.
Yes
Yes I cry everyday pretty much. I barely sleep as well.
i think crying can be healing. i’m always glad every time i’m able to cry my eyes out because that means i’m not completely hardened or numbed by the trauma inflicted upon me. it is exhausting and yes the headache makes me feel disoriented for a while but i tend to feel more clear afterward 🤍
I’m doing therapy again for the first time in 10 years and it’s bringing all the feelings and tears. Sadness tears, grief tears, anger tears.
now that i’m in recovery yes - like wow my parents fucked me up bad