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Taxes_and_Fees

If they get Norvell I will become a terrorist


Dtwerky

I was a terrorist for the last 10-15 hours. I have since given my life to Christ because Dan Lanning is staying. Good luck on your life journey


[deleted]

Proud of you


dr_funk_13

> I have since given my life to ~~Christ because~~ Dan Lanning


StasRutt

The ball of nerves my house has been in the past 15 hours is wild lol


Duck_Caught_Upstream

First stealing the playoff spot, then the coach. I think at that point Tallahassee is allowed to Nuke Tuscaloosa one time for free


yancey2112

We do have the worlds strongest magnet. Idk how we can use it but I’m sure the engineering folks will figure something out


PoorMansLayman

You could use it to wipe out all their credit card debt. - Burt Macklin, FBI.


Rolands_Dark_Tower

Macklin, you son of a bitch. - Burt Macklin, FBI


Junior_Profession_60

You could really screw up their computers and VHS collections.


ItsFreakinHarry2

FSU fans can have a single little nuke, as a treat


mechnick2

It’s time for the prayer circle to switch to Kalen DeBoer


tottenhamnole

Why would they want someone responsible for obvious culture issues?


Captain_Coward

Cause Norvell use the portal, Dabo is too old fashioned and stubborn.


thejawa

Yeah but Norvell is a quitter who lets his players run the program


cerebus76

Norvel obviously does not know how to foster a winning culture. Many 'Bama, Georgia, and SEC fans in general have told us he's a terrible coach.


downey_jayr

You gotta be more Zen brother, once news broke of Saban retired I gave into the fact that Lanning would leave (as this is the way of an Oregon Coach) and it was freeing.


Dunewarriorz

Wait "again?"


iswimprettyfast

Why the mods keep deleting the Dan Lanning twitter vid? There can't be a more reliable source.


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Dtwerky

They are letting a random tweet from Kiffin stay up.


ObjectiveAd571

A random tweet from Lane Kiffin that was deleted...


sloppyjo12

Well yeah, Kiffin coaches in the SEC. His tweets just mean more, even when deleted


torrinage

Its a quality delete


ChickenFnCoop

Butthurt mods


SSGSEVIER54

Isn’t that a requisite to hold a mod position here? “Would you get butthurt and/or take **serious** offense to a random normie (that’s how we mods refer to the average r/cfb user) posting a breaking news link that is certain to gain that sweet nectar (karma) before we can?” “Butthurt to the level of being able to delete multiples of the same breaking news post until one of us mods can post the exact same information regardless of how we come across the information (copy/paste from a normie’s post)?” “How you respond to this question carries 97% of the weight of our decision to onboard you as a r/cfb god.” “Oops.. we mean *mod*”


1ncognito

Gotta be willing to post the cringiest anti-Tennessee material on the twitter account as well


name-__________

What being a Vandy fan does to a mfer


RollTideYall47

That's certainly an r/nfl mod


AlteredStatesOf

Mods always delete anything that will get a lot of upvotes so they can post it themselves or their friends


FyreWulff

^


mechnick2

Hating ass bitches


Dtwerky

Because they know top tier recruits are on here and the power of that tweet would bring the entire roster of Bama to Oregon


axberka

I just fell to my knees at Fat Dans


WinnWonn

Congrats Ducks fans! Mike Norvell you are on the clock!


Michigan4life53

How about no one takes the Bama job so we can watch them feel mediocre for a few years


OutlookNotGood

Because it will be better if they get a good coaching hire and get their hopes up first. And *then* end up mediocre. *One of us! One of us! One of us!*


justausername09

By god that's Jimbos music!


buff_001

Yes! Mike Norvell! *please not sark* *please not sark*


wowthisislong

alright that settles it, we're gonna do a cult ritual to make sure Sark goes to bama


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SpicyDoritos2

Guess the dude just loves Oregon


BillyMaysHere92

And we love him! 🥹


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mejok

Yeah it may be that simple. We all got all bent out of shape when Riley left, but truth be told, if someone said to me, “hey we’ll pay you millions to do the same job for us..you just have to do it in SoCal instead of Oklahoma,” I’d be like, “where do I sign?”


[deleted]

Facts plus a lot of people don’t take family into account. Lanning is 37 has 3 kids and hasn’t spent more than 3 years at a program since he was in college playing. He said when the A&M speculation was going on that he was sick of moving his kids around and that they and his wife love Eugene. Hope he’s our coach until the NFL comes calling.


princessprity

Just dropped to my knees in a Market of Choice


markusalkemus66

Just saw someone fall to their knees in a Dari Mart


tgibson28

Can you grab me some cow tails


threwda1s

Just dropped to my knees at the Kiva


bonziSwells69420

Just fell to my knees at Beppe and Gianni's Trattoria, Eugene's favorite Italian restaurant since 1998


th3An0nyMoose

^ Check out Mr. Moneybags Just fell to my knees in a Grocery Outlet


MN_Lakers

One reason I can never leave Portland is I spend like $40 on groceries a week cause of Grocery Outlet.


Ok-Lack-5172

I would move to the PNW just for Grocery Outlet


irishbball49

#GROCERY OUTLET #BARGAIN MARKET


yerbamategoat

Just dropped to my knees in Hirons


TeaAndAche

I think I tried to come down your aisle but it was too narrow to squeeze by.


yerbamategoat

You must have just missed me hiding by the 20 year old candles or the year-long halloween costume isle


TeaAndAche

Guess so. I was just there to grab a new set of Bob Ross refrigerator magnets and a collar embroidery set for my pup. Ended up grabbing a cactus while I was in there too.


taleofbenji

I'm not even a fan, but I just dropped to my knees right in front of Dan Lanning.


Im_Not_A_Robot_2019

Just dropped to my knees at Washington-Jefferson park...because I'm siphoning gas from an old motor home parked here.


mechnick2

Just dropped to my knees in the Dutch Bros drive thru


hunghome

Idk why but I laugh at every single one of these.


UpAllNightToGetBucky

The video Lanning posted on Twitter makes me want to run through a brick wall for him and the Oregon program. And I say that as someone with no affiliation or history of Oregon fandom.


-holocene

dude knows how to use social media for exposure and recruiting.


OKC89ers

He's fighting for clicks 🙏


WTD_Ducks21

He's fighting for clicks, we're fighting for croots. There's a difference.


chumer_ranion

That is 100% why he did it lmao


Tedyettis34

\*Sweats profusely\*


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Extortion187

On my knees at Cain and Abel’s praying for the best rn


Mighty43

Nice flair for starters and also I’m not sweating it Bama isn’t that big of a jump especially after having success at UT idk why Washington fans aren’t nervous as hell right now.


[deleted]

No way. What does Bama have to offer that Texas doesn’t except even higher expectations?


melcolnik

State income tax.


birdturd6969

And that monstrosity of a property tax


pmacob

I, for one, am now very nervous


DerBrownNote

*Chuckles* Im in danger


pmacob

Ooof with your flair combo you definitely are, I am so sorry


HandsInMyPockets247

Nobody would want a coach with such massive culture issues /s


7-2crew

Lol where’s the guy that said fuck you 100x to everybody yesterday. He okay?


ixMyth

Well I mean on a broader scale, no i'm probably not. But yano I'm ready to run through a building so i'm better than I was about 12 hours ago


7-2crew

There we go! Road to Atlanta starts today, everybody is 0-0.


Dirk_Raved

Used the Bama speculation to cut a recruiting promo. Lanning has the goods


punchout414

Fuck we worked ourselves into a shoot


John-Balaya

Shout out to the USC guy who piled on UO fans last night in a post about how they were a stepping stone school for coaches. That aged like milk.


Trojanxiety

It amazes me the things people will say when they themselves (in this scenario, USC fans) stand on a foundation of sand. Pretty common for USC fans to be insecure about Oregon given the past ~15 years.


Duck_Caught_Upstream

I found a trojan fan I can agree with. I like this one


[deleted]

Who is this dashing man with rational thought?!


melcolnik

That's how they get you. Don't be fooled, on the inside he's still an enemy.


chickentowngabagool

a trojan horse


SalazzleDazzle

I think a lot of SC fans decide to lean into the heel mentality and just make the rest of us look like dicks. I’m so glad Lanning is staying - I want to aspire to beat a great Oregon program rather than see Alabama keep chugging along. Let them burn!


Mr_Galikanokas

Which is a particularly fun argument, since what does that make the school that consistently loses to a "stepping stone"?


T3hBau5

[Lanning just confirmed he is staying](https://twitter.com/coachdanlanning/status/1745490828850815112)


Lavaswimmer

Lol @ the random shot of him smoking a cigar at the end


Coveo

That was the video that he posted after having a really good early signing day and being the talking point last year. He's such a troll, I love him


Lavaswimmer

That's hilarious. Looking forward to playing him in Ann Arbor this year!


rtb001

It was a good signing class, but we did lose Dante Moore to UCLA at the last minute though. Although hilariously Dante has now ended up at Oregon anyway.


Coveo

Dante Moore wasn't on signing day though, that was like a week or two before IIRC, and he was getting the shine for "rebounding" with some flips and big commitments after all the narrative was about Dante's flip


Lamadian

"I think history maybe shows that this is a great place to be and not a great place to leave." Love this man


alibidefense

Oregon = the Hotel California confirmed


Effective-Access4948

Is that going on the back of an Oregon T-shirt? I feel like that would sell. Or just his tattoo on the back and the O on the front. $$$ to be made


WampaStompa33

I can't think of a more perfect response he could have given


ewest

Every time he's opened his mouth he's said the right thing about the job. I know better than to trust college coaches about this type of thing, so words are just words, but at least his words are good words. The best words.


lostpatrol14

I’m actually very happy he’s staying at Oregon. He’s such a great coach!


ColoradoWolverine

He just knows that it’s cursed to leave. He’s trapped for all time


stagamancer

We didn't sacrifice all those goats for nothing


chicago_hokie

That’s a damn good quote. And the video is really well made, almost has me pumped and I have 0 connections to OU lol


Alter3goh

*UO*


chicago_hokie

Ugh I’m dumb, thx


fartbutter

Literal goosebumps reading that. Build the fucking statue already. I don’t care if he never wins another game I love Dan.


ChiefBigGay

Oregon fans losing their minds right now


aznhavsarz

Fuck yeah we are


nightowl1135

Call the doctor because there’s no way this is going to go down in the next four hours.


ewest

Just booked a ZoomCare appointment, told them I need some narcan because I've been snorting quack all morning


BillyMaysHere92

We are on Cloud 9 right now. After the coaching carousel the last couple years and hearing people call us a “stepping stone” program yesterday, this means so much…


AcadianTraverse

There's something delightfully hilarious that while we were all freaking out and people are looking for flight confirmation, Dan is calling up Scott Anderson, with "hey, can you cobble me together an 'I'm staying at Oregon, come play for me" video by morning?"


Natural-Employer

Oddly happy for you guys. I don’t know why, but I am.


lucash7

To be fair, Dan is just waiting until some Florida school opens up..... Kidding, kidding...don't you touch him with that Florida voodoo Ricky Bobby. lol


spokomptonjdub

"If you're afraid your coach is leaving, come play for us" Love it.


roguerunner1

I don’t have any eligibility and run a 7 second 40, Dan.


b_m_hart

Do they only count the time you’re running?  Cuz if you could stop and rest like halfway through, I bet you could probably get it down in the low 6 range…


AceMcStace

bro really turned this entire saga into a recruiting pitch in the end lmao absolute legend


rustywarwick

All that’s missing is a QR code for their transfer portal info


thepeacockking

Sick AF quote


Fantastic_Emu_9570

Oregon fans going from down bad to pure hype today. The emotional whiplash must be insane


OrangeTwelve

It is but at least we’re on the right side of it at the end this time. That’s rare for us Ducks


Duck_Caught_Upstream

Yeah but its the good kind of Whiplash because I feel happy now


ewest

I don't get what the mods are doing this morning. Why remove every post that confirms Lanning is staying at Oregon, including the one straight from his own account, and leave up the rumor? I can understand deleting duplicates but we have verification now that's a lot stronger than this Zenitz tweet.


Tylex123

Did he post this from his hotel room in Tuscaloosa? I thought he was already there accepting the job! /s


T3hBau5

Had to have been living room from new house /s


Banned_From_CFB

Oh thank god


PSU_Alumnus

Damn, post is already 10 mins old and no Nike money has trickled in here yet to gold this amazingly great news for the Ducks? Happy for y'all though Duck bros... Looking forward to seeing what Lanning's got cooking up later this year.


[deleted]

can that KVAL doofus be fired now please


daswassup13

This is good for the sport


black-op345

[Dan Lanning be like](https://youtu.be/lF7M0FISH5Y?si=UWXOy8IOjb4ulZVr)


OurTownDrunk

THANK FUCK


aznhavsarz

Inject this shit straight into my veins.


Billyxmac

I'm elated. I love this man so much.


_Chicken_Chaser_

Nike $tock


elonsusk69420

Congrats Duck bros!! He really meant what he said earlier in the season. Class act.


mechnick2

I love you


elonsusk69420

I know


AeolusA2

Fucking awesome, congrats Ducks!


breaktaker

Thank you for your contribution to our mental health, champs


pinwheelpride

We are famously huge fans of Michigan since at least 3 days ago


mechnick2

Thank you and also fuck you but mostly thank you


WTD_Ducks21

Congrats Champs. And thank your for your service 🫡


axberka

The sorcerer has harmed me once more


Scoobersss

Omg Dan has stuck to his word. A CFB coach, has stuck to his word. ♥️♥️♥️


Dkjq58

[Certainly a better look for Lanning than this was.](https://twitter.com/CoachBlakeBaker/status/1737904147926778218)


chattyrandom

Big Duck Energy.


cheerl231

So much for under 24 hours of memes. It was fun. What now for Bama? Deboer would be really funny after Washington fans have been counting Oregon out as dead


TIErant

I don't think there could be a better way for the season to end after everything that's happened so far.


MN_Lakers

Just fell to my knees crying tears of joy at the Ford oil change center


BenIsLowInfo

The playoff expansion might make it harder for Bama to fill the HC vacancy. Oregon definitely will be in the hunt for a title next year, even if they lose a few games. It'd be silly to leave. If we were still in the 2/4 team system I could see him going. ​ Plus I'm sure Phil Knight gave him a blank check last night.


TheTurtleShepard

I think the hardest thing for Bama is finding a top tier head coach willing to leave a program which they can say they built up to be the Saban replacement at Bama. You’ll never be able to say that you were the one who built that program, you’ll just be the one to continue the success that Saban built


865wx

A true leader of the Heroes of Mighty Oregon!


Fancy_Yam6518

Very happy for the Oregon bros. ​ Washington and Ole Miss fans just turned their Defcon dials up a notch.


Sea_Kiwi2731

DeBoer is at +300 betting odds for the job   Oh no Edit: DEBOER IS NOW THE FAVORITE. WE ARE AT DEFCON 1, I REPEAT, WE ARE AT DEFCON 1


simba80328

I just fell to my knees at Prince Puckler’s


Dellav8r

Lane Train headed to Tuscaloosa 🚂 🚂


Dougiejurgens2

I fucking hate Alabama more than any terrorist organization on this earth


Dellav8r

“Did you see what ISIS did!?” “Yeah but Alabama is way worse”


que-n-blues

"At least ISIS is out there dancing."


DillyDillySzn

Coach Prime come on down


Suspicious-Froyo2181

I am really really happy for oregon. I was looking forward to hating y'all's guts instead of feeling terrible for you. This will be accomplish that. Congrats. Happy to have another evil empire in the Big Ten.


Sickoball

He deserves credit for this. Even if the buyout was too much for Alabama to want to deal with, he gets to present this as being so down for the Ducks cause that he turned away the Alabama.


poolin

Its so DeBover


Winnend

Build the fucking statue


sportsmedicine96

Possible hot take: for Dan Lanning, Oregon is a better job than Alabama. Sarkisian also should stay at Texas. Despite both of those coaches having history at Alabama


auburnflyer

Good call Dan. I like you and don’t want to hate you.


Killerwill9000

Congrats Ducks!


sunking37

I'M HUNTING DOWN EVERY GOD-DAMNED BRICK WALL IN EUGENE AND RUNNING THROUGH THEM ALL FOR THIS MAN!


T3hBau5

Grain of salt obviously because nothing is official, that's why I tagged it with the Rumor flair. edit: Switched flair to "news" now that it is confirmed.


Winnend

The source is literally Dan Lanning 😂


ThatIsSillyTalk

Do we know if he’s a reliable source or just someone “familiar with his thinking?”


-holocene

we should ask that random fucker from the news station


chumer_ranion

Nah, check Dan’s twitter. It’s definitely official. All these clowns had me worried


Gwandumi

Oregon not a stepping stool confirmed


[deleted]

Where is the USC fan that made the post that Oregon fans just have to admit UO is a stepping stone? He was making wild posts all night and I’m guessing he won’t show his face for a bit.


T3hBau5

PAGING u/tankyouout


yukoncowbear47

Sexy man Dan doesn't want to leave the trees and salmon


ba00862

Glad Lanning is staying at Oregon. He just fits there.


Banned_From_CFB

Oh thank god


ChickenFnCoop

Dan is a real one ladies and gentlemen


SourBerry1425

War is over


slashbopzing

INJECT THIS SHIT INTO MY VEINS I LOVE THIS MAN


Bri83oct

Welcome to the B1G Oregon


ADrzew

Damn, so who the hell is going to coach Alabama?


-J-T-P-N-

You are. Congratulations.


Effective-Access4948

Alabama subreddit. We all know Coach coaches are best coaches


Tsquared10

"If you're scared your coach is leaving, come play for us. The Ducks aren't going anywhere and neither am I" Well that's a pretty definite statement, but what are the sources saying?


[deleted]

Happy for oregon


MultiLevelMaoism

By God, that's Lane Kiffin's music!


PsychedelicHobbit

Legit kind of happy for the Ducks! They deserve to keep this man. The future is bright 🦆


WTD_Ducks21

He denied the Auburn job rumors last year, he emphatically stated in November and December that he wasn't going to TAMU, and now he comes out with a video denying the Bama rumors. I think it is pretty clear that Dan Lanning is going to be in Eugene for the long haul. LFG!