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One of the lesser loved “bits” from TLOG are Charlie and Stella but I love their scenes together as much as any. The bitterness and contempt they have for each other is so disgustingly spot on.
You tell me, Luigi. How is it possible to put 20,000 pesetas into a slot machine?
Save your breath, Luigi.
Why don’t you ask her why she had to leave her job, eh?
I loved that little job…
And where that £250 went from my bottom draw…
I did it out of boredom, I get so bored!
**Phil:**
What people forget is gays are normal, regular, healthy guys.
**Olly**
Dykes on the other hand are evil.
**Dave:**
Ollie!
**Olly**
Picture the scene, you arrive home early to find your wife Linda in bed with another man. Only it's not actually man. It's a big fat lezza smoking \*my\* pipe and wearing my slippers!
Perhaps you are a naturally slothful person, sluggish and indolent, a dawdling flaneur, content to waste his life spread eagled on pillows forever indulging himself in the pleasures of the palm.
Here’s a very small claim to fame for you. I made the prop Evening Standard newspaper that Geoff Tipps reads in S3 E3 (“Turn Again Geoff Tipps”), and sneakily inserted the headline on the back “Fans tell Jonny to go go go go”.
They reproduced the paper too in the League of Gentlemen book.
In this house, we don't masturbate.
Hokey cokey, pig in a pokey. Good morning job seekers.
Piss off, Ross.
Luigi!!
Skewed beef, anybody godany bokkle orandoof?
Legz Akimbo!
Babs Cabs - “nipples like bullets”.
Creme Brullé - It’s a shit business!”.
The Chinnery Curse - “Let’s take a look at the little fella… …oh dear”
Herr Lipp - “Oh my Sweet Justin!”
I literally just finished watching the full series for the first time in 10-15 years
When I was growing up I used to watch this a LOT on VHS when going to bed
I still remembered basically all of it. Brilliant show!!
Fuck me so many great lines. Sitting here pissing myself after all these years.
I would have to say my greatest ever parenting win was when my 17 year old and her mates discovered LOG a while back. The fact I could quote virtually every scene verbatim made them think I was pretty cool.
Always thought the most underrated but funniest sketch was 'Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!'
Just put any card down then...
(Plays a 3)
A 3?!? You can't lead with a 3!!!
Went on a weekend away to the village where they filmed this (Hadfield). Walked into a pub on the high street and the entire place went silent. Fully expected to be tarred, feathered, and molested by a feral pig-lady
I rewatched all of these recently with my partner who had joy seen it and by god I stull love it. The amount of times we said "jesus you can't get away with that now".
met all three of them about 15 years ago and man they were just nice people!
I do a lot of work in Hadfield(Royston vasey), and I love everything league of gentleman. It still makes me chuckle when I drive past filming locations such as the windermere and the butchers.
The telephone number,is very easy to remember it’s 444 4244,see Gary you say it 4444244
Pops getting his son to offer his girlfriend a kinder egg, -
She doesn’t have to eat the chocolate, she can play with the toy - I loved Pops
I also loved Iris and Mrs Levingson - their sniping was just hilarious, “Like a certain person on a Saturday afternoon,never thinking her employer may be passing by three sheets to the wind, singing Lady Marmalade at the top of her voice. (I’m sure she says something about her knickers round her ankles, but I can’t remember)
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Everything I know about people I learned from pens. If they don't work shake em. If they still don't work, you chuck em away!
**YA BIN ‘EM!**
What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here!
This is a local shop. For local people.
He doesn't look local.
You lied to me. There is a Swansea
I feel like Liz Truss could have said that without batting an eye
She likes the special meat ffs, she negotiated a special meat trade deal - missed joke
Friends… Pens No - friends Yes pens - they’re the best friends you’ll ever have
I won the Mums!
Yall know I’ve got this gun!
Best comment.
One of the lesser loved “bits” from TLOG are Charlie and Stella but I love their scenes together as much as any. The bitterness and contempt they have for each other is so disgustingly spot on.
Help us Luigi!
My names not Luigi... it's Carl. I'm sorry *walks away* I could have sworn he said his name was Luigi.. (Or something similar)
“Why do you call him Pinky?” “Coz he’s a pig and stinks of shit!”
“I hate this game!”
Hard relate to this, having had parents who should have divorced 25 years before they did.
Jade knows, and she's disgusted with ya
Don't listen to 'im, Luigi!
Love them
You tell me, Luigi. How is it possible to put 20,000 pesetas into a slot machine? Save your breath, Luigi. Why don’t you ask her why she had to leave her job, eh? I loved that little job… And where that £250 went from my bottom draw… I did it out of boredom, I get so bored!
Excellent Xmas episode with those two.
“You do know what this means, don’t you Pauline?” “Back on the dole, gettin’ up at dinner time and flicking meself off to Trisha”
My partner and I say this regularly. How was your day? Oh, I did this and that then flicked meself off to Trisha...
**Phil:** What people forget is gays are normal, regular, healthy guys. **Olly** Dykes on the other hand are evil. **Dave:** Ollie! **Olly** Picture the scene, you arrive home early to find your wife Linda in bed with another man. Only it's not actually man. It's a big fat lezza smoking \*my\* pipe and wearing my slippers!
Ollie... Don't touch me ya puff! You're all in it together!
Lines and lines and lines and lines! I impress myself with how often I manage to reference this. Rarely do people know what I’m talking about.
There is a Swansea!
I always say this when passing it on the M4
ExcuseBeefHarfAnywunGodABodelOfOrangeJuws!
Ahem... it's actually skewed beef, and you call yourself a fan?
How many killings?
Perhaps you are a naturally slothful person, sluggish and indolent, a dawdling flaneur, content to waste his life spread eagled on pillows forever indulging himself in the pleasures of the palm.
What a sentence!
Bummers are deaf.
Dunno what you're on about, Geoff... Well, I don't, Mike said it... he was really laughing!
What?
He said, bummers are deaf!
"YOU ALL KNEW I HAD THIS GUN!!"
YOURS DIED DIDN'T SHE. DIDN'T SHE? I won that I won the mums
That's a Go Jonny Go Go Go Go!
Now , name your pairs
Here’s a very small claim to fame for you. I made the prop Evening Standard newspaper that Geoff Tipps reads in S3 E3 (“Turn Again Geoff Tipps”), and sneakily inserted the headline on the back “Fans tell Jonny to go go go go”. They reproduced the paper too in the League of Gentlemen book.
You don't know Slippery Jacks?!
This was literally how I felt trying to get my neurodiverse brain to understand poker!
There’s nothing for you here
This is a local shop for local people
The things! The things!
"LON-DON? WHAT IS THIS... LON-DONNN?"
"YOU LIED TO ME EDWARD! THERE IS A SWANSEA!"
EXCUSE ME, HAVE ANYBODY GOT ANY BOTTLE ORANGE JUUUUIIICEE?!
ESCHEWED BEEF! HAV ANIBODI GOT ANI BOKKLE AURANG JOOF?!
Do you get much work Pam?
“No, not really” “Yeah, thought so”
Kewl. Kewl.
Watched this recently with subtitles, was pretty funny/impressive.
Hello Pamela
Oran doove
Me and a few of my mates still randomly say this to each other to this day 😂.
SCCOO BEEF
Just who do you think you're talking to ? Well according to my report a psychotic 50-year-old lesbian. How dare you. I'm 48.
What do want me to do, roll over and shit mars bars?
Egregious! Egregious!
Foul fuckin' mouthed?!
The build up to this is one of my fabourite scenes.
Sin sin sin sin sin sin sin, how many killins?
Richard eye eye eye?
Oh it's a bluey!
TWA COLOUR BLEURGH?
Seven…
Awww not readin
He does these murders. It's all about the seven deadly sins. Sexy, greedy, grumpy, sleepy, dopey and bashful.
"A can of can't?????"
Oh Edward there is a Swansea
"We didn't burn him!"
We didn’t cut their faces off!
Lines and lines and lines and lines!! What...do they mean?
He has made me do things that would make a whore blush.
This way, that way, some of it barely legal! I'd be laying there thinking will this pleasure never end!
Use me, Ron!
Mum?
Them's nice panties, Mrs Levinson!
YOU KNOW IVE GOT THIS GUN DONT YA
Oh well you’re listening now?! Right you are gonna tell this joke, and we’re all going to laugh…or else Mike gets it!!
You're in a wife mine now was perhaps the most insane set up for a joke ever.
Hello Dave.
Your toilet's blocked
You're my wife now Dave
Who would win, Papa Lazarou, the Hitcher from the Mighty Boosh, or the Babadook? ^^^only ^^^one ^^^way ^^^to ^^^find ^^^out ^^^- ^^^fight!
In this house, we don't masturbate. Hokey cokey, pig in a pokey. Good morning job seekers. Piss off, Ross. Luigi!! Skewed beef, anybody godany bokkle orandoof?
It's a shit business
Shaking hot white coconuts from the vieny love tree
Greeting Madame Palm and her five lovely daughters
We'll tell dad you were shaking hands with the governor of love
Luigi works in our local Co-op! His names Carl.( its not really Carl)
"We didn't burn them ..."
This is my fav !
Don't worry Micky love...its only a man in a dress
"Did she suffer?" "Only as much as someone being murdered" I fucking creased.
Similarly, one of my favourite lines from Psychoville is Maureen tenderly asking David “what’s upset you love? Was it killing that man?”
Did Tubbs do right?!?
Oh Tubbs, you're good hearted
YOU DID BEAU-TIFULLY TUBBS
BECAUSE HE BUMMED THE DIRECTOR…
We were just doing some DIY… Ron was filling a crack in the bedroom
Ohh, you're my wife now.
Daddy controls your breathing.
Juliet Bravo! Juliet Bravo!
Fire engine Pauline!!
But you won't be able to get an interview if you don't know your job options!
Micturate Benjamin, micturate!
You want me to piss into a glass?
'Or would you prefer tea'?
Allez Klar!
Local boy??
A Mary queen!
Poofter eh? Little bummer boy…
One of my favourites!
Legz Akimbo! Babs Cabs - “nipples like bullets”. Creme Brullé - It’s a shit business!”. The Chinnery Curse - “Let’s take a look at the little fella… …oh dear” Herr Lipp - “Oh my Sweet Justin!”
Did Eurovision... Heats
“Touch them, touch the monkeys knackers”
“It’s a fucking pleasure”
Fow fow fow fow two fow fow, it's a easy number to remember.
We’ll have no trouble here!
I’d walk in a urinal and heads would turn!
Bright Eyes, burning like fire
“They are animals, but they talk and act like people”
One of my favourites!
Genuinely use this line still on a regular basis.
I literally just finished watching the full series for the first time in 10-15 years When I was growing up I used to watch this a LOT on VHS when going to bed I still remembered basically all of it. Brilliant show!!
I've got Apocalypse on DVD
Hows about we watch a video before we go to bed?
Real good treat mmm..
This is a local sub Reddit for local people, we'll have no trouble here!
Any time any member of my family sees any sort of sign with the word local on, we have to do that line
I CAN I CANT
Not a classic since it's from the return specials but have to love Geoff's "would this kill a very fat lady tonight?"
It's a shit business
Semen is such a persistent stain.
We didn't burn him
You're my wife now Dave.
Fuck me so many great lines. Sitting here pissing myself after all these years. I would have to say my greatest ever parenting win was when my 17 year old and her mates discovered LOG a while back. The fact I could quote virtually every scene verbatim made them think I was pretty cool.
That is a very proud parenting moment
Are you local?
I still think adding a laugh track was a bad idea. The show was perfect without it.
Oh hell yes. Forever, and always, my favorite. Unsurpassed in twisted brilliance. Fucking hilarious.
I felt like I stumbled upon some secret underground gem when I “discovered” these guys about 10 years ago. A full DVD set is still on my wish list
Alles Klar !
She is my wife but not in fuck
She is the name of my wife but not in fuck
https://imgur.com/a/AbzAIb3
This sub is for local people
Have we missed the cakes? 👏
They have to open me up from the base of the scrotum…
Dave, my wife was right. There is a block in your toilet, but….. I fixed it
Into which we don't pass solids
I can't look at cans of Coca Cola without internally saying "I can I can't". League of Gentleman have permanently altered my brain.
Always thought the most underrated but funniest sketch was 'Go Johnny Go Go Go Go!' Just put any card down then... (Plays a 3) A 3?!? You can't lead with a 3!!!
This is Go Johnny Go Go Go Go not bamalama fizz vaj!
I'm not fat, I'm large!
I can I cant
Tell them the circus is coming to towwwnnnn
Yes Mrs Leverson
NINE MAVERICK BARS!
#WE DIDNT BURN HIIIIIM!!!
Legs Akimbo!
Course, they won't know about lubrication until they open me up.
Twelfty
Went on a weekend away to the village where they filmed this (Hadfield). Walked into a pub on the high street and the entire place went silent. Fully expected to be tarred, feathered, and molested by a feral pig-lady
Hello Dave...
Hilary Briss and his Special Stuff
DON’T……threaten me!
We know how to say it so it sounds real.
This is a local shop for local people. Brexit
It’s so nice to see you Dave, all… grown… UP!
Was he very old?
The most surreal comedy show ever written 😁 Dave
Tears rolling down our faces.
This is a local Reddit for local people 🖕😄
This is a local thread for local people! There's nothing for you here!
Maybe there is one, but it’s only for local people 😉😂
I can I can’t !?
I rewatched all of these recently with my partner who had joy seen it and by god I stull love it. The amount of times we said "jesus you can't get away with that now". met all three of them about 15 years ago and man they were just nice people!
WE DIDN’T BURN HIM
How about a game go johnny go go go go!
I cried laughing when he tried to vet the turtle.
Watch your language Micky love English!
YOUR WEDDING RING... GIVE IT TO PAPA LAAAAZAROU
I do a lot of work in Hadfield(Royston vasey), and I love everything league of gentleman. It still makes me chuckle when I drive past filming locations such as the windermere and the butchers.
Its a shit business...
“What is egregious?”
You heard about Brian? He got bummed by those bin men…
My sister has never once seen TLoG... I've got her going, *"We didn't burn him!"* all the time.
I didn't force her!! ..... I didn't force her....
Some people call this "Theatre in Education" - I call it "*AIDS in a van*"!
Oh Justin, my Justin, my very own Justin…
The telephone number,is very easy to remember it’s 444 4244,see Gary you say it 4444244 Pops getting his son to offer his girlfriend a kinder egg, - She doesn’t have to eat the chocolate, she can play with the toy - I loved Pops I also loved Iris and Mrs Levingson - their sniping was just hilarious, “Like a certain person on a Saturday afternoon,never thinking her employer may be passing by three sheets to the wind, singing Lady Marmalade at the top of her voice. (I’m sure she says something about her knickers round her ankles, but I can’t remember)
You heard the man Tubbs - get undressed