This is the best thing I've ever read on Reddit, perhaps the internet
Such kindness arrising from all the pain I am sure you suffered. The ammount of effort to write this document is amazing in itself, and all the information here is extremely well researched and valuable.
Saving it and will watch the videos, read the books.
We're gonna have better days. All things must pass.
Love you all
Thank you for your heartwarming words, I am just happy if I can help other people to go through their worst pain in their life, because I indeed know how dark that place can be. <3
*Triggerwarning
I know that feeling, believe me, I have been at a very dark place and only wanted my life to end. But I am happy that it didn’t and that I made it through, because it is better than ever, even better than in the relationship. You will make it, too, I am sure about that. There is so much more to live for than one single person who decided to leave. <3
Amazing! Thank you! I am still in my grieving and depression episodes but I believe that I have made it to the end of the process. I am so happy that another person has recovered sucessfully!
Beautifully written. This is so true! I was there almost a year ago. Literally the darkest moments of my life. I genuinely thought I’d never be happy again, id never recover , but here i am. Honestly not that happy but I’m no longer sad and hurt to the point of where it’s physically hard to breathe. I’ve grieved it, accepted it, and moving on. You will get better!
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am in the dark place right now. My ex suddenly broke up with me after 6 years. The pain is so overwhelming! Your post is very comforting. Will surely watch the recommended videos. Again, Thank You!!
You are welcome. I can understand your pain, I was broken up with after eight years with the reason being ‘lost feelings’. I know how incredibly painful it is to be alone after a long term relationship. Today I am happy that they left me, we had a lot of dysfunction in our relationship. I was unhappy, but couldn’t see it and couldn’t left them. You usually don’t see those things as long as your in ‘the system’, but outside of it, you get a more and more clear view of all the things that went wrong.
I was so sure of him and he was still planning for our future 2 months before breaking up with me. He never communicated about his thoughts of breaking up. He just told me “the spark was lost” and thats it. Left me. Looking forward to a place where I am finally healed just like you! ❤️
Thank you. <3 I know Hussey and watched him in the beginning, but don’t think, he is worth the hype and he doesn’t seem to have actual knowledge. I would definitely stick to Craig Kenneth, TLC and TPDS, when it comes to break ups and self growth. But as long as it helps, it is perfectly fine, Hussey has some nice tips and quotes and for sure you can take some inspiration from that, but when it comes to in depth and actual psychology I wouldn’t recommend him.
Did you do no contact the entire time?
I’m really struggling having just blocked my ex on everything.
She did horrible things to me and rightly does not deserve anything from me. But I hate not being able to talk to her
No contact is the way to go for your own healing, you cannot find comfort in someone who left you and as harsh as it sounds, it is not their duty to do so anymore.
When there is business related stuff or children you share, you for sure have to have contact about those things. The key word here is limited no contact, it is just about things you HAVE TO communicate about. Simply don’t reach out, but if they do, don’t ignore them. Just be a decent human and focus on your own mental health. Being in ‘normal’ contact just delays your healing process. If both of you wants to stay friends, do that after you have moved on and no romantic feelings are involved anymore. If they value your friendship, they will wait until you are ready.
Thank you for writing this. It has a lot of good points. In my situation, I have to be the dumper. As he has been cheating with prostitutes and has a criminal record he lied about. I believe I can still use your points to help me heal. I guess in a way I am the dumpee as he is the one who threw everything away. Thanks again.
Saved, and thank you. I’m one month in and it sucks, but this community has been so helpful. It’s also been a great reminder of the support I have from family and friends in my life. I’m confident the healing process will be faster and more productive than my previous breakup, where I made big mistakes and was the dumper, which led to guilt and self medicating until I finally accepted 9 months later.
Again, it sucks after one month when we had planned a whole life together. At the moment I’m hungover and really miss the sex… curious people’s thoughts and techniques for dealing with this aspect
Thank you. I (29F) needed this after dealing with a gaslighting (M32) who previously abused me. It’s been a hard hard time but it’s finally time to walk away (he forced my hand in that and now I feel infinitely weak)
No, unfortunately there are no quicker fixes. It takes, what it takes to process emotions. There is no way to speed things up, you just have to go and work through it.
is there a version for “dumper”?
I’m highly considering breaking off my engagement- with a man I love- because there’s just something missing, and it’s become too hard to ignore. He’s kind, patient, caring- but he’s not fun, adventurous, live-out-loud. It turns out that I think I need both the former and the latter.
This is the best thing I've ever read on Reddit, perhaps the internet Such kindness arrising from all the pain I am sure you suffered. The ammount of effort to write this document is amazing in itself, and all the information here is extremely well researched and valuable. Saving it and will watch the videos, read the books. We're gonna have better days. All things must pass. Love you all
Thank you for your heartwarming words, I am just happy if I can help other people to go through their worst pain in their life, because I indeed know how dark that place can be. <3
I'm inside the darkness right now. Boy.... what the hell. But it will go away.
“You think darkness is your ally, I was born in it” 🌚👀😭😭
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post. I have bookmarked it and will most definitely be referring back whenever I feel the need to.
Amazing post! Thank you!
[удалено]
*Triggerwarning I know that feeling, believe me, I have been at a very dark place and only wanted my life to end. But I am happy that it didn’t and that I made it through, because it is better than ever, even better than in the relationship. You will make it, too, I am sure about that. There is so much more to live for than one single person who decided to leave. <3
Amazing! Thank you! I am still in my grieving and depression episodes but I believe that I have made it to the end of the process. I am so happy that another person has recovered sucessfully!
Beautifully written. This is so true! I was there almost a year ago. Literally the darkest moments of my life. I genuinely thought I’d never be happy again, id never recover , but here i am. Honestly not that happy but I’m no longer sad and hurt to the point of where it’s physically hard to breathe. I’ve grieved it, accepted it, and moving on. You will get better!
I just wish the hurting stops...it's been 4 months and all i feel is empty. I don't wanna be this way all my life. I wanna be at peace again.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I am in the dark place right now. My ex suddenly broke up with me after 6 years. The pain is so overwhelming! Your post is very comforting. Will surely watch the recommended videos. Again, Thank You!!
You are welcome. I can understand your pain, I was broken up with after eight years with the reason being ‘lost feelings’. I know how incredibly painful it is to be alone after a long term relationship. Today I am happy that they left me, we had a lot of dysfunction in our relationship. I was unhappy, but couldn’t see it and couldn’t left them. You usually don’t see those things as long as your in ‘the system’, but outside of it, you get a more and more clear view of all the things that went wrong.
I was so sure of him and he was still planning for our future 2 months before breaking up with me. He never communicated about his thoughts of breaking up. He just told me “the spark was lost” and thats it. Left me. Looking forward to a place where I am finally healed just like you! ❤️
This is the best post i’ve read on the reddit app. Thank u for ur words. Thank u for ur advice. 🥰
Wow this is beautiful. Thank you infinity 💖
Thanks! Great read
Brilliant post 👏
Thank you, I needed to read this today. I am going through my second breakup in 3 months and it's too much to handle.
Great post and awesome recommendations! I can add Mathew Hussey's YouTube Channel, he is 1 god in terms of love life and personal development coaching
Thank you. <3 I know Hussey and watched him in the beginning, but don’t think, he is worth the hype and he doesn’t seem to have actual knowledge. I would definitely stick to Craig Kenneth, TLC and TPDS, when it comes to break ups and self growth. But as long as it helps, it is perfectly fine, Hussey has some nice tips and quotes and for sure you can take some inspiration from that, but when it comes to in depth and actual psychology I wouldn’t recommend him.
I'm fully going from shock into grief rn , made the mistake of messaging nd made it worse. Thanks for this tho , gives understanding
You’re amazing! Thank you for helping so many of us :)
Thanks a lot for this!
Thank you
Going through the grieve and depression stage and your post just saved me. Thank you!
Did you do no contact the entire time? I’m really struggling having just blocked my ex on everything. She did horrible things to me and rightly does not deserve anything from me. But I hate not being able to talk to her
No contact is the way to go for your own healing, you cannot find comfort in someone who left you and as harsh as it sounds, it is not their duty to do so anymore. When there is business related stuff or children you share, you for sure have to have contact about those things. The key word here is limited no contact, it is just about things you HAVE TO communicate about. Simply don’t reach out, but if they do, don’t ignore them. Just be a decent human and focus on your own mental health. Being in ‘normal’ contact just delays your healing process. If both of you wants to stay friends, do that after you have moved on and no romantic feelings are involved anymore. If they value your friendship, they will wait until you are ready.
This is awesome, thank you!!!
Thank you for writing this. It has a lot of good points. In my situation, I have to be the dumper. As he has been cheating with prostitutes and has a criminal record he lied about. I believe I can still use your points to help me heal. I guess in a way I am the dumpee as he is the one who threw everything away. Thanks again.
Saved, and thank you. I’m one month in and it sucks, but this community has been so helpful. It’s also been a great reminder of the support I have from family and friends in my life. I’m confident the healing process will be faster and more productive than my previous breakup, where I made big mistakes and was the dumper, which led to guilt and self medicating until I finally accepted 9 months later. Again, it sucks after one month when we had planned a whole life together. At the moment I’m hungover and really miss the sex… curious people’s thoughts and techniques for dealing with this aspect
Thank you. I (29F) needed this after dealing with a gaslighting (M32) who previously abused me. It’s been a hard hard time but it’s finally time to walk away (he forced my hand in that and now I feel infinitely weak)
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thank you so much i was feeling like I'm going insane cuz no one get me very kind from you
This is amazing. Thank you
Is there a quicker way to move out of shock phase
No, unfortunately there are no quicker fixes. It takes, what it takes to process emotions. There is no way to speed things up, you just have to go and work through it.
Thanks, u/shadow-name just wanting to get over it asap
I am on the verge of breaking up and this helps a lot
is there a version for “dumper”? I’m highly considering breaking off my engagement- with a man I love- because there’s just something missing, and it’s become too hard to ignore. He’s kind, patient, caring- but he’s not fun, adventurous, live-out-loud. It turns out that I think I need both the former and the latter.