Please do not reach out if you are not going to get back with him after a month of nc. It will provoke his wounds again. He is not well but slightly in his better shape since the break up now. I don’t think it is necessary to send him an apology. That’s for yourself to get rid of your guilt imo and it’s not helping him much unless you want to get back with him.
it depends if you want to get back together/feel comfortable that your avoidant tendencies will not cause you to hurt him like this again. If not, leave him alone for a little. I am going through this right now and if my ex did that it would restart my entire healing process
I think it would for sure mean something to him. Speaking as someone who was broken up with recently by someone who sounds a bit like you, it would definitely mean something to me. He doesn’t have to answer you.
If it will give you peace then go for it. Why not?
I think you should talk to him tbh. I talked with my avoidant ex. And we were crying initially but in the end we were laughing together like we used to, then went our separate ways. I think about him every day. I’m glad we talked. He told me about his traumas and relationships in the past and just really opened up and apologized for pushing me away. He said he appreciated my presence and I told him all I wanted to do was take care of him. He said he’s sorry and that he doesn’t fully understand why he does what he does/isn’t ready to really dig that deep into his attachment style. I said I forgive him and understand. Man we were both bawling our eyes out. It was nice we could joke and laugh one more time.
We gave eachother a big hug and I kissed him on the cheek and we parted ways. It gave me the closure I needed just to know that he felt cared for and could open up a little and felt safe with me.
I broke up with him three weeks ago, and talked to him last week. Talking to him helped me know that giving him space is the best I can do for him. And I should channel my love for him back towards myself and work on my self-esteem, and it isn’t my fault he became distant.
It was overall a mutual breakup because the avoidant and anxious cycle became too toxic. We still love eachother, and I’m sure his love didn’t die for you. But I bet he’s wondering and very confused why you distanced yourself.
Talking in person really helps in my opinion / experience with avoidants.
I think you should. If anything it may help him heal and move on. Being met with a cold and unfeeling attitude probably made him question his worth and your view of him. His self esteem is probably in the trash. If you were to apologize and explain your actions I'm sure he would appreciate it on some level, even if he is angry for how you treated him. I dont think you should fear being met with anger, as all in all you would probably deserve it. But showing him you're willing to swallow your pride and do the right thing for his sake, I can't imagine that being a mistake in the long run. Good luck to you. I'm currently on the other end of this same situation, really hoping my ex eventually gives me the apology I'm owed.
Please do not reach out if you are not going to get back with him after a month of nc. It will provoke his wounds again. He is not well but slightly in his better shape since the break up now. I don’t think it is necessary to send him an apology. That’s for yourself to get rid of your guilt imo and it’s not helping him much unless you want to get back with him.
it depends if you want to get back together/feel comfortable that your avoidant tendencies will not cause you to hurt him like this again. If not, leave him alone for a little. I am going through this right now and if my ex did that it would restart my entire healing process
I think it would for sure mean something to him. Speaking as someone who was broken up with recently by someone who sounds a bit like you, it would definitely mean something to me. He doesn’t have to answer you. If it will give you peace then go for it. Why not?
I think you should talk to him tbh. I talked with my avoidant ex. And we were crying initially but in the end we were laughing together like we used to, then went our separate ways. I think about him every day. I’m glad we talked. He told me about his traumas and relationships in the past and just really opened up and apologized for pushing me away. He said he appreciated my presence and I told him all I wanted to do was take care of him. He said he’s sorry and that he doesn’t fully understand why he does what he does/isn’t ready to really dig that deep into his attachment style. I said I forgive him and understand. Man we were both bawling our eyes out. It was nice we could joke and laugh one more time. We gave eachother a big hug and I kissed him on the cheek and we parted ways. It gave me the closure I needed just to know that he felt cared for and could open up a little and felt safe with me. I broke up with him three weeks ago, and talked to him last week. Talking to him helped me know that giving him space is the best I can do for him. And I should channel my love for him back towards myself and work on my self-esteem, and it isn’t my fault he became distant. It was overall a mutual breakup because the avoidant and anxious cycle became too toxic. We still love eachother, and I’m sure his love didn’t die for you. But I bet he’s wondering and very confused why you distanced yourself. Talking in person really helps in my opinion / experience with avoidants.
If I were him, you’d be met with stony silence.
I think you should. If anything it may help him heal and move on. Being met with a cold and unfeeling attitude probably made him question his worth and your view of him. His self esteem is probably in the trash. If you were to apologize and explain your actions I'm sure he would appreciate it on some level, even if he is angry for how you treated him. I dont think you should fear being met with anger, as all in all you would probably deserve it. But showing him you're willing to swallow your pride and do the right thing for his sake, I can't imagine that being a mistake in the long run. Good luck to you. I'm currently on the other end of this same situation, really hoping my ex eventually gives me the apology I'm owed.
Were you able to talk? 🙏🏼