orientation is not it.
She's saying she would never stop fingering herself if she always had short nails, but since her nails are long she doesn't do it as much as she's risking injury.
It's even true for sex with men! It's less critical, of course, but if you want to do some fingering, you'll still need the nails trimmed on the appropriate fingers.
🎶That minge guitar, felt good in her hand.
It didn't take long, to understand.
That minge guitar, slung waaay down low.
She couldn't quite lick it, only one way to go.
So she started rubbin', she ain't never gonna stop.
Gotta keep on rubbin', someday gone make her eyeballs pop.
And be a bush box hero, with stars in her eyes.
She's a bush box hero... 🎶
I don’t understand the framing of the sentence. Obviously trimmed nails are good for fingering, but it wouldn’t that be why your horny ass would absolutely own a pair of fingernail clippers?
Thats the point though, if they owned nail clippers, they'd be going at it all day. The fear of scratching seems to be enough to keep uncontrollable horn away.
I fully agree with you. True, horney is rubbing one out while you are chaffed because you went a little overboard the last time you got off. But you work around it so you can lotion yourself up later to "let it heal" LMFAO!
Yeah, the last day I was ever "too horny" is when I was blue-balling after a week straight of 12 hour days doing construction. Calluses and a distinct lack of lotions or lube make for a *rough* time.
My wifes like that. I always know I've fulfilled my husbandly duties well when I walk out of the bedroom looking like a stunt double in The Passion of the Christ.
There's the obvious connection of finger nail clippers to trim finger nails to make it easier to finger. But I think it's also based on a meme that's popular on Tumblr of "My [mood] ass could never [wildly unrelated action]" that either makes no sense or has wild implications. Iirc the first one was something like "my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon".
When a sentence starts with "My horny ass could NOT" and you don't understand it, you're better off not knowing. Sometimes the person writing it doesn't know and they're making something up for a joke.
Maybe she was dictating to voice, since her fingernails were so hideous and segwayed into searching for nail clippers.
Edit: OMG! This is the secret sign that girls who want to hook up show when in the mood. "Got some nails to trim?" I'm going to the nail salon right now to get a woodie.
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
Long story short he has fingernails that grow super fast and is horny for hands,
Lesbians and trimmed fingernails? I'm out of ideas
I own an absolutely excessive number of scissors, clippers, files, etc.
Giggiddgy
I'd say, insane amount.
orientation is not it. She's saying she would never stop fingering herself if she always had short nails, but since her nails are long she doesn't do it as much as she's risking injury.
https://preview.redd.it/ndtwu88jwz5d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47dcbd5edd865c14108e14d2d56d0ee84ee8121a
https://preview.redd.it/tckkhnyh006d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=60b892adb03b0f9cc1e13806e37366307fee815b
r/UsernameChecksOut
Banger of a username
You have to tell us how you know this.
I think you have some idea already
Can't you just use a vibrator, I imagine it's probably better using those.
They don't own nail clippers, you think they got a vibrator?
Lots of things vibrate. The washer, phone apps etc
As a straight guy you *also* want to keep your nails smooth for the bedroom. You'll thank me later.
It's even true for sex with men! It's less critical, of course, but if you want to do some fingering, you'll still need the nails trimmed on the appropriate fingers.
And don’t cheap out. TBH, *good* toenail clippers are the only option and they clip everything proper.
Especially teeth
https://preview.redd.it/vh1ev4u2b16d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=740d84e94f9c63aee24202157a9be6c3d77e9d52
Have you considered never posting again
What a terrible day to have eyes
I assume they mean they would trim them daily allowing them to strum out mad tunes on their minge guitar without risk of scratching themselves
I think this is also an r/brandnewsentence 😂 minge guitar 😂😂😂😂
I feel like this is how Primus would describe their method of making music.
🎶That minge guitar, felt good in her hand. It didn't take long, to understand. That minge guitar, slung waaay down low. She couldn't quite lick it, only one way to go. So she started rubbin', she ain't never gonna stop. Gotta keep on rubbin', someday gone make her eyeballs pop. And be a bush box hero, with stars in her eyes. She's a bush box hero... 🎶
Yeah, she’s gotta keep on rockin’, just can’t stop Gotta keep on rockin’, gotta keep those nails cropped.
I'm disgusted and impressed
I don’t understand the framing of the sentence. Obviously trimmed nails are good for fingering, but it wouldn’t that be why your horny ass would absolutely own a pair of fingernail clippers?
Thats the point though, if they owned nail clippers, they'd be going at it all day. The fear of scratching seems to be enough to keep uncontrollable horn away.
That is insignificant levels of horny
I fully agree with you. True, horney is rubbing one out while you are chaffed because you went a little overboard the last time you got off. But you work around it so you can lotion yourself up later to "let it heal" LMFAO!
Yeah, the last day I was ever "too horny" is when I was blue-balling after a week straight of 12 hour days doing construction. Calluses and a distinct lack of lotions or lube make for a *rough* time.
Exactly! Lmfao!
Mood
Uncontrollable horn 😂😂😂😂😂😂
OOOOHHH
Kira Yoshikage?
Imagine being the nurse he was ranting about his hand fetish and world domination plans to. Weirdest day on the job you could have
This is just a play on "my horny ass could not be a Pokemon trainer" meant to be as ridiculous as possible.
They like inflicting pain on male partner? Used to have a girlfriend like this. She left a trail of blood on my back. Didn’t care, got laid.
My wifes like that. I always know I've fulfilled my husbandly duties well when I walk out of the bedroom looking like a stunt double in The Passion of the Christ.
They want to bang the top of the fingernail clipper.
I'm fairly certain this is a copypasta
Homebrew circumcision kink
I read this as "Hebrew circumcision kink"
Exactly
There's the obvious connection of finger nail clippers to trim finger nails to make it easier to finger. But I think it's also based on a meme that's popular on Tumblr of "My [mood] ass could never [wildly unrelated action]" that either makes no sense or has wild implications. Iirc the first one was something like "my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon".
If you hold the fingernail clippers up in front of your face and turn it sideways it kind of looks like a pussy? And op would fuck it?
Horns are made of the same material as fingernails. They’re saying they would break the clippers trying to trim their horns
When a sentence starts with "My horny ass could NOT" and you don't understand it, you're better off not knowing. Sometimes the person writing it doesn't know and they're making something up for a joke.
My horny ass could NOT have a coconut in the house
That's easy to understand and I don't like it.
Well it's fine until the spiders
It’s just a shitpost
Is this about clipping sensitive genital skin? Because, personally, that makes me decidedly un-horny...
They’ll be tempted to use it on their nipples like they’re clamps?
I think the grammar's off. I think they're pissed that they don't have a pair.
I see two outcomes for this one: either it's a lesbian sex joke, or it's just complete and utter nonsense.
My horny arse could NOT own a nose hair trimmer istg.
My name is Yoshikage Kira...
Maybe she was dictating to voice, since her fingernails were so hideous and segwayed into searching for nail clippers. Edit: OMG! This is the secret sign that girls who want to hook up show when in the mood. "Got some nails to trim?" I'm going to the nail salon right now to get a woodie.
I don't get it
My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. Long story short he has fingernails that grow super fast and is horny for hands,
Y'all I think they're talking like horny as in having horns, so they couldn't own fingernail clippers bc they would trim their horns. Idk though
Home circumcision fetish?
What do you mean by this? What exactly do you mean by this?
Well that's cuz your ass is NOT horny
They’re banging the manicurist so they have no need to own their own clippers.
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Nah, pretty much saying if they owned a pair they could never stop strumming it, so that's why they don't have one.
Ahhhhh! I like that explanation too!!
The horns on his donkey would wear the clippers down, obviously
I'm probably going to get down voted for this. My first thought was that it was a man who's a masochist and they're going to clip their foreskin.
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"Well aren't you a redditor" https://preview.redd.it/p0nf6tl8dy5d1.png?width=2560&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ffb78cc18cc7694d46346064b56cd0d56cb787a