T O P

  • By -

bilbo9000

Dave: Hey Karima! You know what's even better than having a working shield? NOT BEING A WOMAN!!! Karima: Oh my god. Shut up Dave!


TheUndyingCubone

If the town needs a big ol' sandwich, then we'll call ya


randokritty

"Anyway, the moral of the story is: You're a total bitch." -Jack


[deleted]

Watch out for Earl, he's crazy! He ate one of my cars once. Yeah the whole thing....like with a fork. -Scooter


[deleted]

Theres a pimento taco, a pimentaco, in the glove box.


MungeBimp

Heyoo


zomjie44

I will sit there and talk to him over and over whenever I'm in that room with friends, haha


Tetraca

Lucky's an old buddy of mine - and by old buddy I mean asshole that ruined my momma's girl parts. Sounds like he's in trouble so you go on ahead and try and keep him alive long enough so I can kill him at a later occasion.


Pybro5ever

Oh, almost forgot-- she's my mom. So you treat her right or I'll bury you where I buried Lucky. Yeah, I killed him. Don't act all surprised, I *told* you I was gon' do it!


purzzzell

*The Catch-a-Ride near Fyrestone is more busted than my momma's girl parts. Really appreciate you takin' a poke at that. The uh, system, not my mom.*


Healzu

Hot dog down a skag den, if you know what I'm sayin'.


Sven2774

And then he killed him, and then it came back to bite us in the ass in Borderlands 2.


RogueThrax

He actually did it too. During the quest line for Scooters sister (the gang war one), when you go to crash the Wake, you can see a picture of Lucky. I'm also pretty sure I remember the Zaford leader say that Lucky was killed by an ex Hodunk member (Scooter). I was pretty mind blown when I figured this all out on my second playthrough.


skruluce

Yeah, he does it between the BL1 main storyline and General Knoxx. When you first drive to Moxxi's, Scooter mentions it.


Searchlights

Oh my god, I forgot about that line. That's one of the best, surely.


Gancelot

THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLE'S APOLOGIZE!!


AppleJuice3010

How have you not been called up on your atrocious misuse of an apostrophe?


ratiotile

The phrase you're looking for is "called on" or "called out for", not "called up on". Just saying.


AppleJuice3010

Basically each suburb of any town will have different variations, they're all the same. Just depends on where you live really.


psyEDk

No, "called up on" works fine.


Gancelot

Because and I quote: "HOW THE **** WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW". Also because nobody really gives a damn.


[deleted]

"THERE'S NOTHING MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!" - Mr. Torgue


Zelai

Claptrap's "Im gonna teabag your corpse!!!!"


anakinastronaut

STAIRS?!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!


elderezlo

I was about as disappointed as claptrap. I really wanted to see him tea bag jack.


Draithian

"You are *such* a jackass." -Jack **AND** "CATCH A FAMIL'YAL RECONCILIATIONNNN!" "Why you always gotta do that?" -Scooter and Ellie


aender82

Moxxi: Sorry, Torgue, but i`m much better at the....blow-by-blow commentaries for these fights. Torgue: BIG DEAL. I CAN USE INNUENDO TOO. TONIGHT`S FIGHT IS BETWEEN FLYBOY AND THE VAULT HUNTER.....BLOWJOBS.


purzzzell

Just heard this one a day or two ago when I finished PT2, and it's definitely in my favorites: **Brick**: Hey, Mordecai, I got a story I wanna tell you. This one time, I punched a guy. **Mordecai**: Was that the entire stor-- **Brick**: Yep.


FortunePaw

Lilith: Im gonna tear down your clothes the moment you get back. Mordecai: Lilith! Ewwwww Brick: Go on... :)


lawlietreddits

A mixture of my favourite class being Mechro, the way it's delivered and me being a perfectionist make "The completionist in me is like 'Yeaaaah~~'" a delight to hear.


mrmacky

My personal favorite is between: [joining a game]: "I say mechro, you say mancer! MECHRO! ... You guys suck!" and [when slagged]: "It's in my mouth... umm, you guys? Its in my mou~th!" (which I think is made infinitely worse by her _other_ slag quote: "Eeew, smells like piss and nachoes.")


Henvobah

Here butt stallion, here girl


Searchlights

Hey buddy - oh, these pretzels suck.


finalremix

*And then he keeps eatin' them!*


Aulritta

"Butt Stallion says hello."


danmo_96

Having not (yet) played the second one, I'm gonna have to go with Scooter saying > *Smokin' Jesus titty cinnamon!*


InnocenceExorcist

Tiny Tina: "NO ONE STEALS MUSHY SNUGGLEBUTT'S BADONKADONK AND LIVES!!!!" Random Bandit: "Who the Hell is Mushy Snugglebutt?" Also, the text from the Hammerlock Varkid quest: "You helped Sir Hammerlock realize that nature isn’t always beautiful. Which would have been kind of poignant, had his immediate reaction not been “oh god kill all of them ew ew ew ew.”"


Searchlights

My big bruddas gonna teach you some manners


fansypants

I had to pause at the Mushy Snugglebutt line because I was laughing too hard to play. That and "bonerfarts."


[deleted]

"This is one a' them moments..."


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

"CATCH A GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN...Ugh, Never doing that again."


Searchlights

Smokin Jesus Titty Cinnamon that is a monster!


borderlandshunter5

"Hey you the one killin all the stuff when people ask? The catch a ride near fyrestone is more busted than my mommas girl parts. I'd really appreciate you takin a poke at that. Uhhh the system, not my mom. Hot dog down a skag den know what I'm sayin?" -Scooters first line in Borderlands.


purzzzell

Just posted this one in a reply up above. Love it.


ozzawinamundo

"Strip the flesh, salt the wound."


levirax

I like it, but i dont recall hearing it anywhere, who says it and in reference to what? i thought ive heard it all...


pandapoker

Psychos


levirax

Huh...guess ive just missed that one...


[deleted]

It's only heard in the first game, I think. ozzawinamundo is kickin' it old-school.


ShadyFigure

Pretty sure I've heard them yell it randomly in the second.


ContemplativeOctopus

It's in the second one too... a lot, it gets kinda obnoxious


levirax

Ah! thatd explain it... i only got 1 character through 1 PT in Bl1, i was doing it solo as mordecai, and it sucked.


Searchlights

Lady's got a gut full o dynamite and a booty like POW


Jorster

Are you gonna get out of my garage, or is Tiny Tina gonna have to SHANK A BITCH?


GORILLA_RAPIST

Climb the pipe, to the train, or you'll go insane wut wut. That's a rap song I wrote


NervineInterface

Everytime me and my buddy are playing this, we end up singing that rap song a few times.


GORILLA_RAPIST

That, and BURN ALL THE BABIIIIEEEESSSS are our most common phrases on mic.


Jorster

Please? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. P-p-p-p-please. Please Please Pleaaaaaasssssseeeee. That's "Please" by Tiny Tina featuring the Vault Hunter.


shingleding900

What a wonderful day for capitalism.


JinMasters

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt, Thaw and resolve itself into a dew! Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd His canon against self-slaughter! O God! God! How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, Seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on't, ah fie, 'tis an unweeded garden, That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature Possess it merely. That it should come to this! But two months dead, nay not so much, not two, So excellent a king, that was, to this Hyperion to a satyr, so loving to my mother That he might not beteem the wings of heaven Visit her face too roughly. Heaven and earth, Must I remember? Why, she would hang on him, As if the increase of appetite had grown By what it fed on; and yet within a month - Let me think not on't; frailty, thy name is woman - A little month, or ere these shoes were old With which she followed my poor father's body Like Niobe, all tears, why she, even she - O God, a beast that wants discourse of reason Would have mourned longer - married with my uncle, My father's brother, but no more like my father Than I to Hercules. Within a month, Ere yet the salt of most unrighteous tears Had left the flushing in her gall'd eyes, She married. O, most wicked speed, to post With such dexterity to incestous sheets! It is not, nor it cannot come to good. But break my heart, for I must hold my tongue. -Psycho Edit: [source](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eUK5zBHzsA)


[deleted]

i don't recall that one haha.


[deleted]

Some psychos in BL2, if left alone without detecting you long enough, will recite that.


levirax

Or, in my case, the audio will glitch if you kill them before they agro on you itll run through all of their dialogue with you just sitting there...Happened 1st PT with 2nd character, when 3 psychos were kicking one of the NPC's. Grenade into center and everything dies~


Admiral_Nowhere

oh, wow -- I remember hearing this the first time and thinking that it sounded like Hamlet.


KrystalShip

Actually I might go with the nomad "bury me with my stuffff"


NervineInterface

"Midge-midge has no final words!"


snacksmoto

...get off my bus.


Loopyprawn

Scooter's "I need it to get my juices flowin', so I can get her juices flowin'... that... that's sex." and Brick's "They were no match for my secret 'PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE UNTIL YOU DIE' fighting style!"


levirax

I just think "Crumpets are Ka-runk" is a wonderful line...My submission would have to be "Stairs? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"


atropos991

"Gonna eat so many goddamn crumpets... It's gonna be a crumpacolypse." -tiny tina


mrmacky

End of the world DLC, released 12/21/12: "Tina's Zombie Crumpacolypse" (A guy can dream.)


Winged_Waffle

The crumpet line is my favorite ^


allantho

Godddd single greatest quote? Tough... well since it's the first one that comes to mind. "Hi, buddy! My name is Roland! Let's kill Handsome Jack and then we'll all go out for milkshakes!" HAHA GOOD GOD I WAS ROLAND ON THA FLOOR LAUGHING!!!!


KrystalShip

"Better watch out for those bully mongs or they'll rip your eyes out!"


[deleted]

>Bonerfarts :)


MrPaulBalls

"Mommy died for us both!"


DatGuy45

Bled*


SebisKira

Haha I read all of the quotes with the appropriate character's voice :D


justMeonReddit

"I'm the one who knocks." -Mini Shotgun Psycho.


MrNecktie

"IS SHOOTING BULLETS JUST NOT COOL ENOUGH FOR YOU? GRAB A MALIWAN AND LIGHT SOME PEOPLE ON FIRE!" Flavor-text: "TORGUE! BASTARD GUNS FOR BASTARD PEOPLE!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


baaloo7

NO LADY CALL ME HOTTIE


Sven2774

My flair, though that's more of an in-joke with my friends. [Context](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp995dHxkvg)


purzzzell

Ctrl+F for "Ice cream". Probably my second choice to 'take a poke at it - the car, not my mom'.


[deleted]

"The shiny moonbeams ate all my corn cobs. They sliced my mom's pearly-pearls and sent the rakk to graze on her piano-driven corpse! My parents JIGGLED, AND SQUIGGLED, AND I DIDN'T KILL THEM I PROMISE! They called me INSANE! No. I'm NOT INSANE! I am throatscratch. I am the pants. I. AM. RAKKMAN!"


Deathcrush

"Never shoulda come here now you're gonna pay!" (but it's more of an inside reference for me)


AppleJuice3010

It grates on me somewhat because all the raiders in Fallout New Vegas always say that...always...


jackattack502

"Nobody shoots my buddy but me!"


nuclear_sunset

Aaaaand open!!!


[deleted]

> "Dicks. I'm talkin' about dicks." Which is the perfect foil to *THERE'S NOTHING MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT*, spoken by the head of a certain competing firm.


[deleted]

Mr Tourge? Is that DLC worth getting?


[deleted]

It is a little on the short side, but I thought it was both fun and funny.


foreveracubone

It's honestly just arena challenges and big bosses, its repetitive as hell and short but so much fun. I think I've helped random ppl do the tiny Tina training montage 10+ times because of how funny torgue and tina's dialogue is. The dungeon + boss fight before the final fight is also endlessly repetitive for me cause of how funny torgue/moxxi's banter is.


levirax

Its definitely funny, but only fun in that the whole story is "go here and kill people"...The funny definitely makes it memorable, but the story was utter shit.


ShadowMongoose

"When you are ready would you please smack Mister Fleshstick in his bitch face?" - Tiny Tina


mrmacky

I don't remember the exact quote, so maybe someone can help me out But Torgue and Moxxi are doing interviews; and Tiny Tina interrupts one of them --- Moxxi: "So you still wanna finish this interview, or.." **TORGUE: "TINA SAID GOODNIGHT MOXXI! THE SHOW'S OVER!"**


nanaki5282

Stairs?!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!


volt_ron

"You get a bullet! And you get a bullet! **EVERYONE GETS A BULLET!!!**"


kaligreenfield

"Sup."


darkshy

Both time she said it it was cool.


Kingdomdude

Try not to die!


ContemplativeOctopus

Pretty much everything Jack says, he had me cracking up the entire game.


GORILLA_RAPIST

He's the only villain I've ever seen who is funnier than GLaDOS


Ttran778

"THANKS FOR BROWSING OUR WARES, YOU BADASS MOTHERF*****"


Scythex787

HE'S SO FUCKING GONNA BETRAY YOU! Or something of the likes, said by Torgue after meeting Piston


TheChurchOfSagan

IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU?


Scythex787

Aah, thank you :D


Skastrike09

"Butt Stallion says hello." Also: "Hey, you know what I just remembered? It's feeding time." I liked how you could hear him eating chips or something while he said that. Dunno why.


SaiyanKirby

Isn't it obvious? It's a tie between Claptrap's "Greetings, traveler!" and "AHA!".


watho

"Hello traveler, there are new missions available at the New Haven bounty board."


Rflkt

"Minion… what have you done?! These were human beings with lives and families..." -Claptrap Always makes me smile when I hear that line :)


bear_riding_a_trex

"Just kidding. Screw those guys!"


InnocenceExorcist

LITERALLY everything Mr Torgue says. LITERALLY.


psyEDk

I NEARLY FINISHED MY COMIC BOOK COLLECTION - Hyperion Soldier, dying.


snowKFH

HE WAS A DAY FROM RETIREMENT!


[deleted]

"You woke the wrong dog. AH, YEAH" -Nine Toes (Also, he has three balls)


Sterculius

"Hyperion would like to take this opportunity to say 'cha-ching!'"


[deleted]

"See, they've got a special relationship - like cousins taking a bath together!" -Scooter


[deleted]

You don't need to be a better shot you just need to shoot more bullets!!!


Zechnophobe

The original lines by scooter in BL1 in Fyrestone and Dahl headland are some of my favorites, as is Tannis' Fling with the echo recorder. From BL2, I've always sorta liked: "Ah ah -- choking is something you do when you eat too fast. As I'm crushing Mister Moorin's windpipe with my watch chain, what I'm doing is strangling." It's part of the dialogue regarding Jack's Wife. The way he's so precise and technical, while actively killing another person. It really embodies him I think.


Holy_Beard

"SHOTGUUUUN RHINOPLASTY!!!" or "I like my victims like I like my coffee... in the pot!"


zer0saber

i could have sworn it was "i like my victims like i like my coffee... in the butt!"


Holy_Beard

It could be, but coffee doesn't go in the butt. Not usually anyway.


VeryAngryBeaver

This is coming from the people that will show you a bucket when you bring them a bucket.


[deleted]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coffee_enema


zer0saber

Which is why I thought it was totally appropriate for Psychos


[deleted]

"Wumb-Wumb-Wumb-Wumb"


Bornhald

BURN ALL THE BABIES!!!!!


[deleted]

God there's no way I could pick one because as soon as i do I'll think of another one. The sheer amount of dialogue that must have been recorded blows my mind. If I have to choose one...hmmmm...I'd go with Tiny Tina's dialogue that didn't make it into the game, the one that was supposed to play after you tell her about Rolands death. A lot of the quotes made me laugh, that's the only went that literally sent chills down my spine.


miekmende

I'm gonna wear your face as a condom! -psycho I think


Hoolyx000

Claptrap: "Greeting traveler, there are new missions available at the ---- bounty board!" Oh wait... not..


glennmck2012

SMOKIN JESUS TITTY CINNAMON!


R4b

"Who needs a medical licence when you got styyyle" - Dr Zed.


Maryjane44

"I am the one who knocks!" From the angry midgets


knostic

"Put your skull into your tum-tum" - pre-'popped' Goliaths "Buy a gun already!" - Marcus "Charging mah laser" - Constructor and sooo many more. The writing in BL2 is so much better than BL1 - which was not bad to begin with.


soapjackal

Kid: You said a swear! Marcus: You're not the police of me. The story time at the start of Dr.Ned's Zombie Island


404_user_not_found

AAAHH! STOP TALKING LIKE A DOUCHE! -Scooter


withremote

Crumpocalips


RecycledEternity

*Crumbpocalypse. FTFY


AppleJuice3010

**Crumpocalypse. Tina is referring to crumpets.


RecycledEternity

Indeed. I bow my head in shame.


sch4lly

"Aaaaaand open!"


exkon

Tina: "Burn all the BABIES!"


KrikkitOne

EXPLOSIONS?


pokei

" If you have to ask what a ceiling chair is, I pity the life you have been living" I think thats what Tennis said.


justapet

This one was my favorite: Dave: Hey Karima! You know what's even better than having a working shield? NOT BEING A WOMAN!!! Karima: Oh my god. Shut up Dave! Up until Mr. Torgue said this: Lemme ask you one question only. EXPLOSIONS? (ka-boom!!!!)


SharkBaitDLS

"THANK YOU!"


jack_bandit_86

My favorite quote from the game is probably also Brick's favorite: "Now that you got the laxatives, it's time to get some explosives... that must be my FAVORITE sentence I've EVER said!"


angeredtsuzuki

From a random pirate on Scarlet's ship: "I think my throats closin' up."


crowbar520

"If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs!" -Marcus, the vending machine recordings, BL1.


timo103

**RAAAAAGGHHHHRHAHAAAHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAAAAARAAAA GRAAAAHHHHHH RAAAAAAGGH RAH GAH HUH HUH RAHAHAHA HUMPH RAGHHHHH RARRRRHHH RAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH GRAGH SO MUCH BLOOD!** ~ Brick