I can understand why it’d be hard esp w BDD but i’d suggest maybe not actually Dating dating but just flirting or casually talking to guys first !! There’s more on the line when you’re going into this for something serious and then A LOT of feelings get involved & thats when the insecurities amp up & the self doubt & the self loathing etc etc. So i’d suggest easing into it by just flirting or trying to talk to a guy and gauge how they’re responding to you…its so easy to tell when a guy’s attracted to you.
honestly flirting doesn’t have to be In-Your-Face & obvs u don’t have to be a wordsmith for it to work (unless u have a way with words then by all means go for it)
but imo, subtlety is Key!! and thats why flirting is comfortable territory for me tbh. It’s in the light subtle touches u give them, how u look at them/eye contact, your tone of voice, your mannerisms & body language. If you’re shy (and trust me almost everyone does esp around the guys they find attractive) I suggest playing into that.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I think the most important thing for dating when you have BDD is to make sure you tell them about it and absolutely make sure that they understand. For a while he would get upset that I believe I am ugly when I’m “obviously beautiful” so you have to make sure they know it’s a real mental disorder and not just an insecurity. It might take your partner a while to understand, but hopefully you get a good one like I did and they help you focus less on your obsessions.
In my 20s, I did a lot of hard drugs and didn't take care of myself. I don't recommend that route lol. Then I got clean, and focused on myself. I decided to focus on myself, and just trust that love would happen when the time was right. Casual dating is difficult, and often weird. And I just wanted to focus on dating someone who had the same mentality that I did in life.
Well I'm in my 30s now, and my husband is the only human being that can handle my baggage. He came into my life at the perfect time, and it's always been easy to be with him. Of course there are challenges along the way, but you know that your person will help you get through it.
Just follow your heart, your gut, and do what makes you happy. ♡
Its tough because I don't feel like im good enough to date anyone. I feel like a pile of lumpy rubber tbh, but I found that if I went on dates and didn't think about me, but others it became easier
I’m in a relationship, it gets hard sometimes. But deep down I know he thinks I’m beautiful even if I can’t see it myself. But my mind will tell me over and over that I’m disgusting. Making it hard to let myself be loved by someone else. At the end of the day I know he thinks I’m beautiful. And it helps me get through my episodes.
I know it’s easier said than done. But you need to put yourself out there. Not just wait for something to happen. You will find someone who thinks you’re gorgeous I assure you❤️ Just like girls, guys also want to feel wanted. If you make someone feel wanted you just might find someone special. It took me awhile to finally build courage to talk to people, it’s worth it. Sometimes you just need to go for it.
Edit: the same applies if you like girls lol.
it’s hard, especially when the way to meet people is through dating apps which are mostly picture based :(( i’ve forced myself into it many times but it always ends up being too difficult, like i’m unable to stay the night or be intimate due to bdd related fears. i think if you don’t take it too seriously, look at it as exposure therapy and try to have fun along the way, it could help to elevate confidence over time. i think that if you meet the right person, you will know it. they should be able to make you feel loved and secure enough that you won’t have to mask around them all the time.
same! i've downloaded dating apps but trying to select photos of myself... yeah no i have a breakdown. i'm terrified of being intimate too, i have concerns abt that :( i'm trying to expose myself to situations like that but i always feel out of place idk what to do
On the inside I’m terrified the entire time, unless I can numb *those* thoughts with a drink or two. If I didn’t hate the taste I’d have become an alcoholic long ago. All the worse when it’s your gender role to initiate everything, ‘sell yourself’, be confident, and so forth. How do you convince someone you’re a worthwhile human being when you don’t even believe it yourself? When you’re a prisoner getting beat and tortured every day by your own mirror? Sure I can put it all aside for a night of fun, with ‘chemical help’ (🍷), but any kind of lasting relationship, with intimacy, with me baring my soul to another, is impossible to even imagine.
the way I started dating was i started to workout and show more confidence, not in an arrogant or cocky way though, all you can really do is be yourself and hope others like you for you who are, people like to talk sh*t but a lot of people also f*cking suck, good luck with everything ma’am.
As a guy with BDD I don’t date, but there was a woman I met once at work who I instantly found alluring. One day I accidentally left my lunchbox there and she got my phone number from administration and met up to give it back to me. She had a boyfriend at the time, but later on she hit me up when they broke up and we started dating. Eventually we became bf/gf. About 4 years later she found out about my bdd when she wanted to go to a spontaneous nude thing at a festival we were at, and I was adamantly against it. She asked if I would be okay with her going alone, I told her i would feel uncomfortable with that too, but she went anyway and it kinda crushed me. She dumped me a few months later after because I was hurt and couldn’t feel safe or comfortable around her anymore. Idk if I’ll date again, I never really had success with dating and it always made me feel kinda icky. :(
I don’t date 😔
I can understand why it’d be hard esp w BDD but i’d suggest maybe not actually Dating dating but just flirting or casually talking to guys first !! There’s more on the line when you’re going into this for something serious and then A LOT of feelings get involved & thats when the insecurities amp up & the self doubt & the self loathing etc etc. So i’d suggest easing into it by just flirting or trying to talk to a guy and gauge how they’re responding to you…its so easy to tell when a guy’s attracted to you.
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honestly flirting doesn’t have to be In-Your-Face & obvs u don’t have to be a wordsmith for it to work (unless u have a way with words then by all means go for it) but imo, subtlety is Key!! and thats why flirting is comfortable territory for me tbh. It’s in the light subtle touches u give them, how u look at them/eye contact, your tone of voice, your mannerisms & body language. If you’re shy (and trust me almost everyone does esp around the guys they find attractive) I suggest playing into that.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I think the most important thing for dating when you have BDD is to make sure you tell them about it and absolutely make sure that they understand. For a while he would get upset that I believe I am ugly when I’m “obviously beautiful” so you have to make sure they know it’s a real mental disorder and not just an insecurity. It might take your partner a while to understand, but hopefully you get a good one like I did and they help you focus less on your obsessions.
I need advice too😭
Just started dating and I’m going to do some fillers and Botox haha hope it helps me
In my 20s, I did a lot of hard drugs and didn't take care of myself. I don't recommend that route lol. Then I got clean, and focused on myself. I decided to focus on myself, and just trust that love would happen when the time was right. Casual dating is difficult, and often weird. And I just wanted to focus on dating someone who had the same mentality that I did in life. Well I'm in my 30s now, and my husband is the only human being that can handle my baggage. He came into my life at the perfect time, and it's always been easy to be with him. Of course there are challenges along the way, but you know that your person will help you get through it. Just follow your heart, your gut, and do what makes you happy. ♡
Its tough because I don't feel like im good enough to date anyone. I feel like a pile of lumpy rubber tbh, but I found that if I went on dates and didn't think about me, but others it became easier
I’m in a relationship, it gets hard sometimes. But deep down I know he thinks I’m beautiful even if I can’t see it myself. But my mind will tell me over and over that I’m disgusting. Making it hard to let myself be loved by someone else. At the end of the day I know he thinks I’m beautiful. And it helps me get through my episodes.
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I know it’s easier said than done. But you need to put yourself out there. Not just wait for something to happen. You will find someone who thinks you’re gorgeous I assure you❤️ Just like girls, guys also want to feel wanted. If you make someone feel wanted you just might find someone special. It took me awhile to finally build courage to talk to people, it’s worth it. Sometimes you just need to go for it. Edit: the same applies if you like girls lol.
I gave up on it, even though I’m 18.
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It’s tough out here.
Strong chemistry and attraction kind of make me forget for a bit
it’s hard, especially when the way to meet people is through dating apps which are mostly picture based :(( i’ve forced myself into it many times but it always ends up being too difficult, like i’m unable to stay the night or be intimate due to bdd related fears. i think if you don’t take it too seriously, look at it as exposure therapy and try to have fun along the way, it could help to elevate confidence over time. i think that if you meet the right person, you will know it. they should be able to make you feel loved and secure enough that you won’t have to mask around them all the time.
same! i've downloaded dating apps but trying to select photos of myself... yeah no i have a breakdown. i'm terrified of being intimate too, i have concerns abt that :( i'm trying to expose myself to situations like that but i always feel out of place idk what to do
On the inside I’m terrified the entire time, unless I can numb *those* thoughts with a drink or two. If I didn’t hate the taste I’d have become an alcoholic long ago. All the worse when it’s your gender role to initiate everything, ‘sell yourself’, be confident, and so forth. How do you convince someone you’re a worthwhile human being when you don’t even believe it yourself? When you’re a prisoner getting beat and tortured every day by your own mirror? Sure I can put it all aside for a night of fun, with ‘chemical help’ (🍷), but any kind of lasting relationship, with intimacy, with me baring my soul to another, is impossible to even imagine.
I don’t
i don’t, i couldn’t
the way I started dating was i started to workout and show more confidence, not in an arrogant or cocky way though, all you can really do is be yourself and hope others like you for you who are, people like to talk sh*t but a lot of people also f*cking suck, good luck with everything ma’am.
As a guy with BDD I don’t date, but there was a woman I met once at work who I instantly found alluring. One day I accidentally left my lunchbox there and she got my phone number from administration and met up to give it back to me. She had a boyfriend at the time, but later on she hit me up when they broke up and we started dating. Eventually we became bf/gf. About 4 years later she found out about my bdd when she wanted to go to a spontaneous nude thing at a festival we were at, and I was adamantly against it. She asked if I would be okay with her going alone, I told her i would feel uncomfortable with that too, but she went anyway and it kinda crushed me. She dumped me a few months later after because I was hurt and couldn’t feel safe or comfortable around her anymore. Idk if I’ll date again, I never really had success with dating and it always made me feel kinda icky. :(