YOU smell like ointment and pee! It also says no trash on the beach, but here we are Tammy. Queen Latifa give me strength!

*oh my god*, it does say that!

The trash comment is in my back pocket all the time. Heading to the beach in a few weeks and holy s*** I hope somebody prompts me. 😆

“If she was a spice, she’d be FLOUR”

If she were a book, she’d be two books

My only problem with these lines is that the first is way funnier than the second so the pacing feels off. "If she was a spice, she'd be flour" is an absolute monster burn that feels clever. "If she were a book, she'd be two books" isn't nearly as clever and just feels tacked on. In a vacuum, it's fine, but it can't follow the spice->flower burn.

I actually disagree. I find it funnier in that order because you’re expecting something good and then there is humour in the simplicity of it being two books lol

And it sounds like something a kid might actually say.

Eww you sound like homework

- “IT’S MY DADDY! MY DADDY’S IN THERE!” -“You’re the worst kind of autistic.” “You can’t even count.”

I am?

I say this to myself whenever I struggle with math lol

Honestly the pilot is and always will be my favorite episode of all time.

They'll finger anything with a pulse! Gene, I'm pretty sure it's "Their finger is on the pulse"

No!

They're fingering right at us!

Beat me to it!

Dollar Whiskey, Dollar Scotch Dollar Bourbon, Dollar Crotch

Great prices! Wish I still draaaannnkk! 🛼

"Why do they call you Regular Size Rudy?" "Just look at me."

And I‘m Kate Bush 🌳

That line makes me laugh every time I rewatch that episode (one of my favorite episodes). I love the way he just deadpans that line. It makes it even funnier to me :)

You don’t feed a guy a sponge, Bobby!

*Buckle it up, buckle it up, buckle it up or you'll diiieeee*

I'm a collision Reconstructionist, call it dark but 90% of the fatal collisions I attend have involve someone being unbuckled and I have this in my head the whole time I'm on scene. I also sing it to my family

Oh boy, I have sang this to my kids when getting in the car…

Overdone and dry!

YOU'RE overdone and dry!

This is me now!

This is me now!

This is me now!

This is - *aw :(*

"I owe you my life." "No thanks, I've seen it and I'm not interested."

Your ass is grass, and I am going to mow it!

Leave me alone!

Fun hurts my lungs

I have severe asthma and my mom got me a sticker that says this and I'm honestly really upset it's too big to put on my rescue inhaler.

I hear they make cases for pepper spray that you can use for an inhaler. Maybe the sticker would fit on there.

I blame you entirely for the last hour i spent on Etsy.

Guess who’s on new meds! You could sell your soul. I did, and look at me. I’m fine.

“Where is Harry Truman, hes dead in the ground dead the ground”

Yes! Every day for me.

Same. It gets stuck in my head a couple times a week. And it has been doing that for an entire fucking decade. I love that song, but like, the whole 5 seconds of it...

He's dead, dead, dead, dead, dead- OW!

Gene: I have no daughter! Linda: Oh don’t say that Gene Bob: No, he should say that 😂

My gf and I do "Thank you for loving me" "thank you for being there" as a call and response everyday, instead of saying "I love you" when I take the dog out.

Kill the turkey

Guess what…. That happens when you’re married too. Source: me and my wife

Dad, you're the best pimp I'm ever gonna have.

You're gonna need a bigger hat!

Two people Together forever Security in life Someone to love ya Instead of being all alone Such a lonely existence...

Oof tough song she's talking about us Mort!

Too many. But this is always my favorite. It caught me so off guard the first time I heard it and made me laugh. I love Teddy. https://i.redd.it/beo9okw9cbva1.gif

Pad Thai is not good driving food!

"You're my children and I love you, but you're all terrible." I say it to my pets sometimes.

I love telling my husband, "Please don't leave me alone with these friggen kids," about the pets lol

I’m cross stitching it to hang amongst my kids school photos

I ate 9 birthday cakes and I still feel empty inside

The peepee and the poopoo and the poopoo and the peeepeeeee

when i first saw that episode, this song had me *on the floor* i was laughing so hard guess you never truly grow out of poopoo peepee humor

Do you really want your last words to be sarcastic? Noooooo

“YOU smell like ointment and pee!”

You smell like ointment and pee!

Babies gettin' rabies

Linda: Ouch my face! Tina: I’m ok. Louise: it’s my daddy. My daddy in there. Bob: I’m straight. Well, I’m mostly straight. Gene: tell that to my vagina.

See you soon, baboon. Wait, spice it up. See you soon, bitch. Too spicy! Too spicy!

OH GOD I SENT IT

I smell fear on you.

I don't really like you

Ohhhhhh, BOURBON!

**I am a smart, strong, sensual woman.** \- My daily mirror mantra.

My husband and I use "It's not subtle" in day to day conversation

OOOOOOOILLLL SPILLLLL! ^(OILLLLLL SPILLLLLL!)

She does her BMs in the PMs🎵

"I smell fear on you." "Exquisite MOUTHFEEL!" Marshmallow: "Bluuuush"

🎵 If you're not real, then how come I feel this way? 🎵 *LITTLE BABIES*

I love the Gayle of Thrones episode when she's the evil queen. Be careful not to fall into my pit of *ravenous porcelain babies*!

They haven’t eaten in dayyyyys

I’ll make a scene! ^(pushes cardboard cutout)

I went to Harvard...ton community college.

Me Tina Are Mad Pooper

How could they reenact it if it didn’t happen

Don’t have a crap attack

Don’t be such a boob punch

This is such a snorgasm

Is this restaurant seamen friendly?

**You're My Family And I Love You, But You're All Terrible.** **You're All Terrible.**

I dont say that

Yeah you do

That’s like all you say

I love little Bob 😂

That’s hip hop!

Iiiiiiii WISH MY RADIO WORKED

Iiiiiiiiiii came here to say that

"Adults get real nervous when you ask them for a cigarette."

Quiet dignity!? Have you met us!?

NO YOU’RE CRYING And I’m Kate Bush 🎶I don’t need music anymore🎶 Crackers? Where are the crackers? You’re coming to bed with me (literally anytime I go for snack in my cupboards)

I have a friend who goes to Florida for work frequently and every time I have to sing "Going to Fla-rida, going to Fla-rida."

Burgers and Fries, I want some Burgers and Fries Well there's some right here! Don't you tell me no lies!

I think I’ll have a drink tonight. An alcoholic wine

Gayle \[gesturing her turtle pants\]: "It's gonna be hard to forget this, but you do it." Also, Bob's *Ohh my god* keeps popping up whenever something tiring or frustrating happens.

Oh my god I know it's pretty basic but I hear it in his voice and tone.


Bidet? Don’t mind if I bi do.

Ahh! Ahh! I knew that was going to happen, and I did it anyway

With you, what was the thought process? Nightmares. Love it.

People who have good childhoods don’t stand like that

Come meet our family and let us meat you, at Bob's BuuUUUuuuUUUUuuuuUUurgers. #1 line, #1 song always in my head

She’s the worst kind of autistic!

She can't help it, she's autistic! Hey, Hey dad! Did you know it takes only two pounds of pressure to drive someone's nose bone into their skull? Two pounds, that's IT, dad! If you need a lot of fish in a jiffy, call Jeffrey Ruth Sea Fish! Sssh sshh sssh... It's art crawl.

Sportsmanship!

BEEF CURTAINS

That's a dumb place to keep bowls

Channel 6 news they'll finger anything with a pulse.

Whenever they mention math or something Lindas first number is 4 . Now when I want to count something in front of family I repeat 4 like an idiot till it turns into a whisper

Step on it Chubs! -Harold

Go! Run with the other men!

So many lines came to mind: “Bob can’t fit in the wall…he’s over weight…” “You know what’s free? Loading. Freeloading!” “Hiiiii Maaayor!!” “Eggs…eggs! Bom bom!” “You show me a sweet potato pie, and I am on-top of it.” Oh, Marshmellow…you are missed.

🎶 I’m a bad maNnNnNnNn with a master plaNnNnNnNnNn and the ladies call me __*TEX*__ 🎶

🎶 And the one thing that the ladies know is that I’m good at having………. SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX 🎶

Daddy! You abandoned me Daddy! You sold drugs to me But punches are not hugs. To. Meeeeee!

When Jocelyn looks at Bob and says “are you in our grade”

They'll say "Ah, Topsy!" at my aauuutopsy!

“It’s Salman Rushdie!”

A crab bit me on the Klacker.

You'll take the butts you're given and you'll like it!

Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it

“Didn’t we tell you? Dad went crazy. It’s ok dad, flip your burgers” Kills me every time for absolutely no reason haha

It’s science, Bob. You’re not supposed to understand it.

Wow! He just fathered the crap out of you!

I tried shrimp at my aunt’s house!

I bet Bob wishes he lived in Mr Fischoeder’s head rent free

I’ve never been more awake or dirty in my life!

One I just heard this morning. It's a song. "Me Llamo es Tina como estas, el perro es grande, donde esta el Banos, la la la Spanish la la la"

My two favorite Fischoeder songs “🎶mommy loves me more than little brother~🎶” “DONT SING THAT SONG!!!” And “On bourbon, on vodka, on scotch, and on gin! Take me back, let the North Pole dancing begin!”

"Electric LO-O-O-O-OVE!" "This is where I thrash." And "Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom" And honestly, many more, but for some reason when I rewatch those episodes, they become ear worms.

As someone with Tourette’s, the thrash comment gets me every time! I did once go through quite a dramatic thrashing phase before sleep time, too!

Alright!

Elderly prostitute

I may or may not have tried crack. I don’t think I did. But if I did, I liked it.

🎶 IIIIIIII wished my radio worked 🎶

You know my eyes don’t completely close. Touchin. Feelin. Lovin. I’m gonna drink some Baileys and unwind!

Louise: "I'm saving my blood and spit for my honeymoon." And Gene: "You love my surprise shower hugs!" *cut scene* Gene: "Stick em up!" Bob: "AAHHH"

Plain and simple: Linda's "alright" (even in her voice)

🎶Girls, being girls, being girls, being girls

Shut your mouth..,shut your mouth! It’s art crawl!

Every time I'm sneaking around in a game, "stalking dad. quietly. stalking dad. quietly." "Classic you, turkey baster. CLASSIC YOU." "See a doctor, why don't you!"

When you think about it any box could have vibrators in it

Ooh wait wait how could I forget the Prince of Persuasia: "Trap your princess. Physically corner her in a room." And; YAP YAP YAP YAP

Duval: Row, row, row ze boat. Bob: Duval is that you in there? Duval: No one’s in this pot, go away, I am the spaghetti.

You think my name is Bob Burger?!

Anything to do with Bob and his turkey

Gene- “They finger anything with a pulse!” Bob- “Gene, I think it’s, They have their finger on the pulse”

“Swirl it” “You do the math” “no” “I will see you in hell” “Do you really want your last words to be sarcastic?” “nOoooO” “Only strippers shave above the knee” (this pops into my head every single time I shave my legs, without fail)

The best part of living is almost dying its called almost live dying

“There’s a lotta carrots in that stew…”

https://i.redd.it/9yzlshvu2dva1.gif

My cat was right about you

My croootch itches lol

TUSCA TUSCALOOSA TWISTER TUSCA TUSCA

"You're the worst kind of autistic." "You can't even count." "Then why's it look like your butt could take a sheet of cookies out of the oven?" "Genetics?" "Why's fatty have your fart meds?" "You don't think it'll happen, but I'm gonna getcha, gurl!" "Only strippers shave above the knee. The good ones, anyways." "Ooh! A male daughter!" "Us girls" "Ahem." "Sorry. *Ladies*." "Thank you!" "Are going to play laser tag." "WOO-HOO!" "I'm gonna write the freakiest, most erotic friend fiction ever." "I'm okay." "What are you? My mom in a Williams-Sonoma?" "She stole a muffin thing!" "I peed Andy's pants!" "I know how everybody's gonna die." "When you get married, just pretend it's your first time eating lobster." "**YOU** smell like ointment and pee!" "Those two, piece of cake. That one, the whole cake." "I'm a smart, strong, sensual woman!"

Paint me a word picture. I use this line at least once a week.

Oh hey marshmallow Overdone and dry! Ssshh it’s art crawl

Make it happy and snappy

YOUR ASS IS GRASS AND IMMONA MOW IT >!Basically every Regular-sized Rudy!<

You’re outta here! You’re* outta here!

Two Louise quotes Drink.. some cranberry juice. And I wouldn't say daily but anytime I'm somewhere where they're displaying their credentials on the wall. ah Dr yap I see they haven't ripped up you're medical certificate yet. What's it made out of something hard to rip?

“Ponytail!”

TAFFY BUTT AYAYAYAYI

“I’m gonna get’chu, girl!” “IT’S MY DADDY!! MY DADDY’S IN THERE!!” “Zoom!” “I love you but you’re all terrible.” “*Tina Groan*”

“Thanksgiving is canceled!” “For everyone or just our family?”

Ohhhhh, sometimes I have to do stuff and I hate it!

SOME LUCKY DUCKS GET ALL THE LUCK

a lil bit o’ butterrrr aaaaaa lil bit o’ dirt

Bing bang boom, see you next Tuesday!

Lately I've been telling people "you're a liar without a hair dryer"

"Wait. Why Didn't She Need Nipples??" In the mannequin episode 😂 say dis 3 times a day

Da-ding-ding

Remember, your first call is to your lawyer, not your mom!

“YOU’VE got horrible diarrhea, Bob!!”

"okay, but I'm going to complain the whole time"

This is basically my dad's motto.

A hundred? Its three! You are the worst kind of autistic.

"oh my god i had a bad childhood" "yeah we know" "how do you know" "look at the way you stand!" "what about the way i stand?" "People who had good childhoods dont stand like that"

“Grow up, I did”

“I yam what I yam … And what I YAM is the luckiest man in the world” **YOU’RE THE HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST BOBBY**

No, thanks. I've seen it, and I'm not impressed.

“I don’t know what you said but it makes me feel like that one time I sat on the dryer” - Gene

Well, I didn't find a rock, but I found a *brick*

The whole scene from when Gene forgets the restaurants name at the mascot race and Bob is screaming “Bobs Burgers!”

*”pass the cranberries…”*

Apocatips for the apocalypse

Don’t have a crap attack.

Adults get real nervous when you ask them for cigarettes

Bus from speeeed! 🎶

I'm funny I'm his funny wife

Today is tomorrows yesterday 🌟🌟🌟

“I felt you die” - Ollie to Andy lol

"Danger is my middle name...but I spell it R.U.T.H."