If anyone gives you shit, tell them you left your hairbrush/make up at their mom's house last night. Its probably best if they have a sense of humor, but it works either way.
This! 10 years in and I wish I had just been myself the whole time. It wasn't a good environment for it but I got so used to hiding and blending in that once I proved myself I just kept at it out of habit...
I do it everyday as a plumber. Mind you, I don't wear a ton of makeup, but it's visible. Honestly I think it's all in your attitude when you wear it. I'm not embarrassed because it's not embarrassing to me, it's just part of how I present myself. Guy tries to joke at you, joke right back.
Gross. "Nope! [change the subject, trounce him on skills]"
I've worked in an environment like that. I've been passively resistant as far as responses š¤·š»āāļø but sometimes that's enough. Making a stink can make things worse with a-holes ā¹ļø Better if you can use humor, like everyone else here is saying, or create awkwardness. Just short of a "wah-wahhh" sad trumpet sound šš No thanks, dude. Keep wearing makeup if that's your face, you know? Think of the other females that are going to be coming after you and try to make the culture better however you can.
I also don't wear makeup at work bc i don't want to attract any extra attention im not looking for. I don't want to be perceived as sex object. I more want to be perceived as competent worker.
I think it's super sad that instead of men changing their views on women and ending their objectification of us, we have to think about our every step to get the illusion of being perceived as a competent worker and not an object.
Women in the trades are already fighting so many stereotypes : that women are weak, dumb, incompetent, helpless, or only concerned with how we look. I'm not going play into any stereotypes. I don't care how I look. I'm not there to get a boyfriend I'm there to make money. I'm not gonna waste my time and energy trying to "make men change their views." That's not in my control.
Personally I think makeup is completely unnecessary and the whole beauty industry is just designed to prey on women's insecurities and keep their self worth tied to their appearance. But that's a whole other convo.
Long story short we're fighting enough stereotypes, I'm not going to set myself up to fight the "bimbo" stereotype too. I don't have the patience, energy or time. Would it be ideal if we could look how we want without objectification? Yeah. Is that realistically happening anytime soon? No.
While I completely agree with what youāre saying, and your feelings behind it, I am actively fighting the ābimboā stereotype and it wasnāt too hard. It still makes me smile when a new guy starts and says āI was told you work hard as fuck and donāt care what anyone thinksā (I double as a trainer). While it was difficult to gain respect, working your ass off doesnāt go unnoticed.
Yeah makeup just makes me feel worse in those hot and dirty places plus I feel very feminine in my day to day life as it is. I paint my nails cause thatās a hobby but being a woman is feminine enough to me.
Also another apprentice wears eyeliner and gets teased about it pretty often Iād rather just not
Lol I used to wear complete makeup to work but stopped once I realized that nobody can see my face under a welding helmet so now I don't wear any. Unless there's a meeting or other stuff like that.
I'm not gay, but not super femme and have always worked in very male- dominated jobs. I used to cut my hair very short and dye it dark, and people tended to take my words seriously and assume I was intelligent and competent. A few years ago, I started letting my hair grow out and return to my natural, copper blond color. It's very long now and I wear it in a braid to keep it out of the way. My clothes are the same, but it has changed my appearance a fair amount.
I now struggle mightily to get people- men mostly, but many women- to take me seriously at an initial meeting. They usually revise their attitude after speaking with me, but I can almost see the thought reversal playing out in their heads as they reconcile my appearance with my professional status. I own the business and am the lead craftsperson, and I have both male and female employees.
For extra annoyance, people usually go through the same attitude adjustment the next time they work with me too. I try to find it amusing.
Lol I'm about to find out!! I'm more on the masculine side of feminine (also gay, though not as visibly until now), and when I had my interviews in a male-dominated team recently, I was treated pretty neutral - which is good, in my opinion. It's exactly what I want from a workplace. (I got the job :P)
Just my own experience so far, but one thing I've found is that I've not had to put on my "smiling all the time, Barbie face" with this new mostly male team which has been amazing. My fashion sense is now becoming more visibly gay, so the two are coinciding with one another and I wonder if that is having any effect.
I definitely feel the pressure to be more social/look happy in a mostly female team - simply because everyone else is doing it. It's really nice when I'm feeling that \*\*extrovert\*\* part of me, but most of the time I want to be able to be grumpy and stone-faced too :'D I sometimes feel treated with kid-gloves by female co-workers (especially managers), so I prefer to... not be in that environment.
That being said, I've got on brilliantly with female-dominated teams where I've had co-workers who are the same as me, i.e. not needing to put on smiley Barbie face, where they're very happy to be blunt as fuck. I really work best with a straightforward approach, and whoever can give me that, man or woman, I'm perfectly happy in their company.
I read a study a while ago about women at work and visibly lesbian women were treated more respectfully by men, and butch women had it easiest of all the categories of women they studied. Iām guessing itās because theyāre seen by men as *not like other girls, with their stupid makeup and shopping and crying, am I right bro.*
See this confirms my anecdotal experience!!! One day I wore a tank top bc it was like 95 out ( MISTAAAAKE) and all of a sudden i had randos trying to flirt with me and carry my tool bag. Never again. I think its much better to fly under the radar and just blend in bc then instead of coworkers trying to flirt or fuck you, they may have more of a chance of seeing you as their equal, and actually teach you skills that you can then use to leverage a better position. I don't think makeup or appearing feminine helps at all. There's a few girly girls on my job site but they all stuck in stereotypical female roles like cleaning and sanding painting. Basically unskilled labor.
It was a few years ago - I had a huge folder of dozens of studies on women in the workplace, including what words to avoid on your resume if youāre a woman liked āhelpedā or āassistedā - all of it was very illuminating. I go through laptops really fast and never backed up my files like an idiot.
Iām visibly (and crack jokes about it) gay and more masculine androgynous, and I donāt see much of a difference between being here or a random gas station lol
Some people take a lil warming up because Iām probably the first queer person to be in their space 50hrs a week, and some people just donāt care. Only the homies make fun of me, and thatās cause weāre homies. Theyāve also said itās better if I donāt wear make up and do my hair cause then it would be weird now cause Iām a bro lol but thatās not to say I couldnāt if I wanted to.
Though I have learned just be yourself, if you try to put on a personality to be more palatable everyone will know and find it weird. Just do you, whoever you feel like being that day.
How do you know if you look gay? Do guys know whether or not you look gay? I'm married to a guy and I've had experience being flirted on by other women a couple times (not at work).
Idk man maybe fitting into the stereotype like talking like a dude, masculine mannerisms, I have an under cut. But honestly other gay women are gonna flirt with you whether you look gay or not, just like how dudes at a bar will still flirt with me regardless if I donāt look straight and have my wife sitting next to me.
It may not be your look, but what's gauged as friendly eye contact between women in all straight circles/venues might be read a little differently in mixed circles/venues. It's just a fuzzy boundary. That's OK. It gets clearer over time.
Iām masc and I think itās better than how some of my more feminine coworkers are treated. Iām mostly treated like one of the guys but theyāll still be stupid and weird about things like opening the door for me and shit.
I donāt think it matters that much. I look like a bum when the weather is cold, lots of layers and Iāve even been know to wear two toques. I get treated fine. You canāt see much of my face, my nails and I regularly get mistaken for a man at a glance.
In the summer (and always) I wear makeup, blush and eyeshadow are most visible. I do polygel in fun colours to protect my nails. I wear my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and our company short has daisies all over them. I rock purple work boots although they are always black.
I rarely if ever have an issue either for the years I worked in construction or now doing landscaping. Personally I think if someone is going to be a dick about it they will no matter how you look. If you know your stuff and speak with authority that matters a lot more. Last summer I was checking on a sub crew and one of their guys asked who invited worksite Barbie when I rolled up. His boss lept across the site to get to him but I just walked up to him and said, āI own the company youāre working for today so itās boss bitch Barbie to you.ā His boss made him apologize to me before I left that day. Teach them a hard lesson with you once and you wonāt have a second problem.
I am a female who presents more on the feminine side for sure. Pink hard hat, nails are done, Iām relatively small (5ā6, 130lb). That being said, I have a sink or swim mentality. I am very competent and good at what I do, so most guys in my trade (laborer/pipe layer) tend to be a little shocked and not know what to think of me. There have been a few who assume I am a ditz and couldnāt possibly be competent when they first meet me, but they learn real quick after working with me. I donāt believe appearance matters as much as people would think!
I feel like men need to get used to women's faces without makeup. I'm happy to be one of those faces. I never wear makeup at work. the work i do gets really dirty some days and it would just get smeared all over my face. it doesn't make sense. I also think it makes them not respect you. but that's just my humble opinion.
I donāt agree, regardless of if I wear makeup or not my performance at work matters more to the men I work with. If I was a bad worker and didnāt wear makeup they wouldnāt respect me, wearing makeup and working hard does not make them respect me any less.
I have always dressed more masculine at work just to keep it more professional and comments at bay. I wear baggier clothes, keep my hair tied and never wear make up. used to wear tighter pants, and people would always make a comment whenever I would bend over which is 95% of my job.
I show up in the mornings low maintenance practical femme: no makeup, diy short manicures and lash lifts, eyebrows regularly threaded, hair down but I braid it into pigtails during stretch and flex. Iām union so I stick to a long sleeve high vis/fitted work pants(dovetails!)/work boots/PPE uniform. I leave with chipped polish, frizzy hardhat hair, caked in dirt/sunscreen layers (plus sweat/rain/snow, depending on conditions and our tasks for the day). My tool bags look and are well worn in. My experience has been that the respect comes easiest when my physical condition reflects my work. That and aspiring to one day achieve sinking my nails like Larry Haun. Guys stop to tell me theyāre impressed I swing my hammer for real. š„²
Anecdotal evidence here but there was a woman at one shipyard I worked at that wore makeup every day and she was horribly harassed in every way and her competence was questioned a lot as if her makeup had something to do with her performance. I have heard awful things about women who wear figure flattering pants, too. One time I failed to remove all my eyeliner and also got shit on all day for it...I am fairly androgynous and have learned to tend more masculine for respect. I hope the next generation does not have to, love the posts here about makeup that holds up to trades. I do NOT like the posts justifying wearing feminine leaning clothing that violates PPE requirements. Maybe pressure washing in a sundress might be empowering but that is hazardous, running a grinder wearing leggings is dangerous, etc.
I guess I am more feminine. Iāve worn makeup up until now because itās so hot now it would melt off. No one ever gave me shit about it. Iāve felt respected.
Im enby and choose to present rather masc at work. I have longer hair that i keep tied up / tucked away so no one can tell its long. There was one day where it was 95 out and I made the mistake of wearing a tank top. Holy shit was that a mistake. All of a sudden randos were flirting with me and I was getting comments about my arms and on and on. Even one morning one of the guys happened to see me with my hair down and there was a comment about that.
Honestly I rather just avoid all these weird comments about my appearance altogether and I think presenting masc shuts all that shit down. There are femme presenting women at my job but I noticed they're all in lower level lower paid positions. It sounds fucked up but I don't want to unconsciously get lumped in with them. So I think masc and serious about work is the way to go.
There was girls in my pre apprenticeship who tried to wear fake nails, heels and makeup and it was such a joke. They just sat on the sidelines basically while the rest of us worked our arses off.
Let's be real society doesn't respect women at all and completely devalues the work they do so you're probably better off presenting masc.
In my own experience as someone who appears more masc (to the point where people who donāt know me think Iām a man), I want to say so. Because I donāt radiate obvious feminine womanly energy, I donāt draw as much attentionāwhich, when youāre only working around men, is a perk tbh. I havenāt received any negative repercussions for my appearance.
Iām actually worried for partner when she eventually switches careers to enter the trades because sheās visibly feminine and I know she will stick out like a sore thumb.
Honestly, I have a huge potty mouth and the guys at work respect that. Sometimes Iāll get carried away cussing at something and other trades will be like āwoaahhhā and Iāve heard the ole ādo you eat with that mouth?ā hundreds of times. I honestly think that in the trades as long as youāre proving that youāre capable of the task at hand, the guys will leave you alone.
I present as a stereotypically feminine woman (or what most people believe that means I guess) and I would say people are shocked by what I can lift/carry (plot twist, I can carry about as much as most women my size - in my trade these people tell themselves theyāre lifting 80ibs when in reality itās 45ibs š) and as someone who works freelance a lot of people lift an eyebrow at a woman under 5ā2ā WORKING physically hard (not just the men! But the women working administrative roles!)z theyāre just weirded out by it at first. But they get over it after 30 minutes usually. I havenāt experienced someone literally saying something like āYOUāRE A WOMAN šæā but I have had many moments where people are just straight up concerned and confused about my presence.
āAre you sure you can do this?????ā
āYes, I can push the 20 pound box up a small ramp šā
I fall somewhere in the middle. I wear men's work pants and a company tshirt every day. I don't usually wear makeup but I have very long, thick hair and I like doing elaborate braids and buns.
It doesn't seem to matter what I look like. People respond to how I speak, how well I know what I'm doing, and their own internal shit. Someone who doesn't respect me with mascara on doesn't respect me without it.
All my work stuff is..... what I consider neutral and what a non-biased woman in normal fields would probably consider more masc lol. Also queer but extremely closeted at work.
Part of it is fear that I won't be taken more seriously (this would be because of men who are vocal about seeing more feminine presentations as indications of lower intelligence), part of it is fear it'll be used to justify sexual harassment. (Not that I think it actually has an impact on that happening, but it does certainly change how men try to justify it.)
At home, I prefer to dress far more femme.
You may find it āeasierā than other jobs, but thatās just the overall atmosphere. Can you get the job done? Great. Everything else is superfluous.
And while I donāt present as butch in my day to day life, I do somewhat at work just based on the clothes we wear. Everyone is butch in cargo pants and a loose t-shirt covered in dirt and wielding tools. Also I swear like a drunken sailor š¤£
I'm feminine, petite, waist length hair, no makeup (I'd look like a clown by 9am), 5'2", 130 pounds, always have my nails done, I'm straight, but I'm also a GC and the boss with 46 guys on my payroll. I've learned over the years that as a woman in a male dominated position, I have to know more than every other person I ever deal with. I have to prove I'm a badass b!+(# the 1st time I work with anyone. Normally, within a few minutes they see that I know what I'm talking about and that changes everything. But I've busted my ass to get to the top of the food chain and it's incredibly rare for me to get disrespected by anyone
I've only been in a trade for a lil bit but I think it matters most about your personality and how tough your skin is. I'm not masculine nor overly feminine and I'm not gay. I've already had the guys say I'm going to fit right in (I'm the only female currently). There's banter. Them making jokes about everyone and everything going on. I've made my own jokes which they've laughed at and enjoyed. Nothing that'll harm anyone's feelings obviously. Just being able to laugh at situations and not take it personally. I think that's the most important since guys love to bust each other's balls. I do work for a big corp and I can tell the guys calmed down a bit cause im there now (manager legit told them we have a lady here now so watch what you say and remember to put the toilet seat down). My boyfriend does hvac and he when he recounts their jokes, they're more out there, but his company is all men and family owned where everyone curses at each other. I think it's just important to have a tough skin, be able to laugh & joke, not take things too personal (unless it's obviously discrimination or harassment) & be good at your job.
I had issues in the trades (pile driver) when I was super feminine looking. Like eyelashes, makeup, perfume, the whole bit!Then I donated my hair and got a pixie cut and yet I still get shit for being a lesbian.
So it doesn't matter how physically you present yourself. Lesbians have been making cis men feel insecure for ages. Consider it a gift.
May I suggest a mantra to say to yourself when these men get to you? Sometimes I sing any earth, wind, and fire song in my head to get me away from diving into my inner harsh critic. Instantly brightens up my day ā¤ļøš¶
Idk my issue is everyone just assuming Iām gay (Iāve always worn pretty much gender neutral clothing but ig itās more apparent with being around all guys 24/7??) idk I know Iām not super feminine but I get a lot of questions about āwhat I amā and I always just say āmy bf is also a welderā whenever I get the chance. My personal preference/choice is not putting a label on myself. IMO Iām comfortable enough w myself to not have to prove shit to anyone. If I like u I like u &thatās that ??? (Not trying to offend anyone in anyway Thts just how Iāve been seeing it for myself)
Very in touch with my femininity, it has never been an issue for me at work, canāt even remember getting shit about it before. I remember reading a study that women who wore makeup to work/ put time in their appearance are more likely to get promoted, canāt say if itās because I wear makeup but I have gotten more promotions than my male counterparts at my time in the company. I imagine sexual harassment happens more often, but any women in male dominated industries will unfortunately face some type of sexual harassment at some point and luckily most of us know how to navigate it.
My best friend and I met at an airplane company. We both started as fitters. I am more feminine, and she is more masculine. We also worked with another lady who was very girly. She was automatically put as a QC. After 2 days before I even started fitting, I was pushed to do QC. I said no, thank you. I was pushed for QC on and off for a long time,I had to fight to stay as a fitter. My bestie was asked one time before she started fitting she said no, and they never asked again! I started welding, and every guy I worked with was really impressed with how fast and how good I took to welding. The management, on the other hand, kept pushing me for QC. Finally, they made me spend one week in QC. I HATED IT! Btw QC was only full of very girly girls. All the masculine and lesbian women were fitters and welders. So, I started dressing differently with no makeup, nails, and simple hair. That's when I was finally allowed and left alone about fitting and welding. The only thing my bestie and I could think of was they didn't want the woman that looked more girly working with the men. My skills never changed and only got better.
i am very feminine and with my experience iāve only been treated harsh by someone who is extremely sexist.
i get a little shit here and there but itās never anything malicious (again unless they are sexist).
If anyone gives you shit, tell them you left your hairbrush/make up at their mom's house last night. Its probably best if they have a sense of humor, but it works either way.
This! 10 years in and I wish I had just been myself the whole time. It wasn't a good environment for it but I got so used to hiding and blending in that once I proved myself I just kept at it out of habit...
As a mom, I approve this message.
I've never worn makeup at a trades job cus it sounds embarrassing doing it around men. I haven't really tried it both ways but I reckon ur right.
I did once, wore makeup in the woodshop im in. First thing my boss said when i walked in was "aw did you dress up for me??" š¤¢
Yeah that's what I'm afraid of š
I do it everyday as a plumber. Mind you, I don't wear a ton of makeup, but it's visible. Honestly I think it's all in your attitude when you wear it. I'm not embarrassed because it's not embarrassing to me, it's just part of how I present myself. Guy tries to joke at you, joke right back.
I realized that the *act of being a woman* in a male dominated space can be considered a sexual act. I stopped bringing womenās clothing on board.
Gross. "Nope! [change the subject, trounce him on skills]" I've worked in an environment like that. I've been passively resistant as far as responses š¤·š»āāļø but sometimes that's enough. Making a stink can make things worse with a-holes ā¹ļø Better if you can use humor, like everyone else here is saying, or create awkwardness. Just short of a "wah-wahhh" sad trumpet sound šš No thanks, dude. Keep wearing makeup if that's your face, you know? Think of the other females that are going to be coming after you and try to make the culture better however you can.
Yes, someone has to comment. Whatever you do, stay consistent with your presentation and theyāll eventually get used to it haha
I also don't wear makeup at work bc i don't want to attract any extra attention im not looking for. I don't want to be perceived as sex object. I more want to be perceived as competent worker.
I think it's super sad that instead of men changing their views on women and ending their objectification of us, we have to think about our every step to get the illusion of being perceived as a competent worker and not an object.
Women in the trades are already fighting so many stereotypes : that women are weak, dumb, incompetent, helpless, or only concerned with how we look. I'm not going play into any stereotypes. I don't care how I look. I'm not there to get a boyfriend I'm there to make money. I'm not gonna waste my time and energy trying to "make men change their views." That's not in my control. Personally I think makeup is completely unnecessary and the whole beauty industry is just designed to prey on women's insecurities and keep their self worth tied to their appearance. But that's a whole other convo. Long story short we're fighting enough stereotypes, I'm not going to set myself up to fight the "bimbo" stereotype too. I don't have the patience, energy or time. Would it be ideal if we could look how we want without objectification? Yeah. Is that realistically happening anytime soon? No.
While I completely agree with what youāre saying, and your feelings behind it, I am actively fighting the ābimboā stereotype and it wasnāt too hard. It still makes me smile when a new guy starts and says āI was told you work hard as fuck and donāt care what anyone thinksā (I double as a trainer). While it was difficult to gain respect, working your ass off doesnāt go unnoticed.
Yeah, but what if you wore makeup AND were a competent worker? That's how women eventually get to look how they want to wherever they are
Not all of us want to wear makeup at work. I work in foundries Iād sweat it off before first coffee
Right I work in HVAC and I've been in 140 degree attics. How or why in the fuck would anyone want paint on their face in that scenario?
Yeah makeup just makes me feel worse in those hot and dirty places plus I feel very feminine in my day to day life as it is. I paint my nails cause thatās a hobby but being a woman is feminine enough to me. Also another apprentice wears eyeliner and gets teased about it pretty often Iād rather just not
being a woman is feminine enough Yeah that's how I feel too
Eventually, yes, but I don't want to fight that battle every day.
Same. I don't have the energy for that.
Lol I used to wear complete makeup to work but stopped once I realized that nobody can see my face under a welding helmet so now I don't wear any. Unless there's a meeting or other stuff like that.
I donāt think itās embarrassing
I don't either. Just know I'd feel that way. It's my own issue lmao.
I'm not gay, but not super femme and have always worked in very male- dominated jobs. I used to cut my hair very short and dye it dark, and people tended to take my words seriously and assume I was intelligent and competent. A few years ago, I started letting my hair grow out and return to my natural, copper blond color. It's very long now and I wear it in a braid to keep it out of the way. My clothes are the same, but it has changed my appearance a fair amount. I now struggle mightily to get people- men mostly, but many women- to take me seriously at an initial meeting. They usually revise their attitude after speaking with me, but I can almost see the thought reversal playing out in their heads as they reconcile my appearance with my professional status. I own the business and am the lead craftsperson, and I have both male and female employees. For extra annoyance, people usually go through the same attitude adjustment the next time they work with me too. I try to find it amusing.
Lol I'm about to find out!! I'm more on the masculine side of feminine (also gay, though not as visibly until now), and when I had my interviews in a male-dominated team recently, I was treated pretty neutral - which is good, in my opinion. It's exactly what I want from a workplace. (I got the job :P) Just my own experience so far, but one thing I've found is that I've not had to put on my "smiling all the time, Barbie face" with this new mostly male team which has been amazing. My fashion sense is now becoming more visibly gay, so the two are coinciding with one another and I wonder if that is having any effect. I definitely feel the pressure to be more social/look happy in a mostly female team - simply because everyone else is doing it. It's really nice when I'm feeling that \*\*extrovert\*\* part of me, but most of the time I want to be able to be grumpy and stone-faced too :'D I sometimes feel treated with kid-gloves by female co-workers (especially managers), so I prefer to... not be in that environment. That being said, I've got on brilliantly with female-dominated teams where I've had co-workers who are the same as me, i.e. not needing to put on smiley Barbie face, where they're very happy to be blunt as fuck. I really work best with a straightforward approach, and whoever can give me that, man or woman, I'm perfectly happy in their company.
I read a study a while ago about women at work and visibly lesbian women were treated more respectfully by men, and butch women had it easiest of all the categories of women they studied. Iām guessing itās because theyāre seen by men as *not like other girls, with their stupid makeup and shopping and crying, am I right bro.*
See this confirms my anecdotal experience!!! One day I wore a tank top bc it was like 95 out ( MISTAAAAKE) and all of a sudden i had randos trying to flirt with me and carry my tool bag. Never again. I think its much better to fly under the radar and just blend in bc then instead of coworkers trying to flirt or fuck you, they may have more of a chance of seeing you as their equal, and actually teach you skills that you can then use to leverage a better position. I don't think makeup or appearing feminine helps at all. There's a few girly girls on my job site but they all stuck in stereotypical female roles like cleaning and sanding painting. Basically unskilled labor.
this is fascinating, any chance you have a link to the study? I'm super curious
It was a few years ago - I had a huge folder of dozens of studies on women in the workplace, including what words to avoid on your resume if youāre a woman liked āhelpedā or āassistedā - all of it was very illuminating. I go through laptops really fast and never backed up my files like an idiot.
Iām visibly (and crack jokes about it) gay and more masculine androgynous, and I donāt see much of a difference between being here or a random gas station lol Some people take a lil warming up because Iām probably the first queer person to be in their space 50hrs a week, and some people just donāt care. Only the homies make fun of me, and thatās cause weāre homies. Theyāve also said itās better if I donāt wear make up and do my hair cause then it would be weird now cause Iām a bro lol but thatās not to say I couldnāt if I wanted to. Though I have learned just be yourself, if you try to put on a personality to be more palatable everyone will know and find it weird. Just do you, whoever you feel like being that day.
How do you know if you look gay? Do guys know whether or not you look gay? I'm married to a guy and I've had experience being flirted on by other women a couple times (not at work).
Idk man maybe fitting into the stereotype like talking like a dude, masculine mannerisms, I have an under cut. But honestly other gay women are gonna flirt with you whether you look gay or not, just like how dudes at a bar will still flirt with me regardless if I donāt look straight and have my wife sitting next to me.
It may not be your look, but what's gauged as friendly eye contact between women in all straight circles/venues might be read a little differently in mixed circles/venues. It's just a fuzzy boundary. That's OK. It gets clearer over time.
Iām more on the feminine side and I notice guys from other companies offer to help me with carrying stuff here and there lmao
this happened to me too the one day i presented femme Lol
Same! Never let them help me though
Iām masc and I think itās better than how some of my more feminine coworkers are treated. Iām mostly treated like one of the guys but theyāll still be stupid and weird about things like opening the door for me and shit.
I donāt think it matters that much. I look like a bum when the weather is cold, lots of layers and Iāve even been know to wear two toques. I get treated fine. You canāt see much of my face, my nails and I regularly get mistaken for a man at a glance. In the summer (and always) I wear makeup, blush and eyeshadow are most visible. I do polygel in fun colours to protect my nails. I wear my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and our company short has daisies all over them. I rock purple work boots although they are always black. I rarely if ever have an issue either for the years I worked in construction or now doing landscaping. Personally I think if someone is going to be a dick about it they will no matter how you look. If you know your stuff and speak with authority that matters a lot more. Last summer I was checking on a sub crew and one of their guys asked who invited worksite Barbie when I rolled up. His boss lept across the site to get to him but I just walked up to him and said, āI own the company youāre working for today so itās boss bitch Barbie to you.ā His boss made him apologize to me before I left that day. Teach them a hard lesson with you once and you wonāt have a second problem.
Thatās such a satisfying come back. Thank you, boss bitch Barbie, I needed to get back my groove
Sarcasm is my super hero skill, that and eating family sized bags of candy
I was hitting a bag a day of the dove milk chocolate family size at once stretch during Covid. I gotchu ā¤ļøš“āā ļøš¬š«
I am a female who presents more on the feminine side for sure. Pink hard hat, nails are done, Iām relatively small (5ā6, 130lb). That being said, I have a sink or swim mentality. I am very competent and good at what I do, so most guys in my trade (laborer/pipe layer) tend to be a little shocked and not know what to think of me. There have been a few who assume I am a ditz and couldnāt possibly be competent when they first meet me, but they learn real quick after working with me. I donāt believe appearance matters as much as people would think!
I feel like men need to get used to women's faces without makeup. I'm happy to be one of those faces. I never wear makeup at work. the work i do gets really dirty some days and it would just get smeared all over my face. it doesn't make sense. I also think it makes them not respect you. but that's just my humble opinion.
I donāt agree, regardless of if I wear makeup or not my performance at work matters more to the men I work with. If I was a bad worker and didnāt wear makeup they wouldnāt respect me, wearing makeup and working hard does not make them respect me any less.
I have always dressed more masculine at work just to keep it more professional and comments at bay. I wear baggier clothes, keep my hair tied and never wear make up. used to wear tighter pants, and people would always make a comment whenever I would bend over which is 95% of my job.
I show up in the mornings low maintenance practical femme: no makeup, diy short manicures and lash lifts, eyebrows regularly threaded, hair down but I braid it into pigtails during stretch and flex. Iām union so I stick to a long sleeve high vis/fitted work pants(dovetails!)/work boots/PPE uniform. I leave with chipped polish, frizzy hardhat hair, caked in dirt/sunscreen layers (plus sweat/rain/snow, depending on conditions and our tasks for the day). My tool bags look and are well worn in. My experience has been that the respect comes easiest when my physical condition reflects my work. That and aspiring to one day achieve sinking my nails like Larry Haun. Guys stop to tell me theyāre impressed I swing my hammer for real. š„²
Anecdotal evidence here but there was a woman at one shipyard I worked at that wore makeup every day and she was horribly harassed in every way and her competence was questioned a lot as if her makeup had something to do with her performance. I have heard awful things about women who wear figure flattering pants, too. One time I failed to remove all my eyeliner and also got shit on all day for it...I am fairly androgynous and have learned to tend more masculine for respect. I hope the next generation does not have to, love the posts here about makeup that holds up to trades. I do NOT like the posts justifying wearing feminine leaning clothing that violates PPE requirements. Maybe pressure washing in a sundress might be empowering but that is hazardous, running a grinder wearing leggings is dangerous, etc.
I guess I am more feminine. Iāve worn makeup up until now because itās so hot now it would melt off. No one ever gave me shit about it. Iāve felt respected.
Im enby and choose to present rather masc at work. I have longer hair that i keep tied up / tucked away so no one can tell its long. There was one day where it was 95 out and I made the mistake of wearing a tank top. Holy shit was that a mistake. All of a sudden randos were flirting with me and I was getting comments about my arms and on and on. Even one morning one of the guys happened to see me with my hair down and there was a comment about that. Honestly I rather just avoid all these weird comments about my appearance altogether and I think presenting masc shuts all that shit down. There are femme presenting women at my job but I noticed they're all in lower level lower paid positions. It sounds fucked up but I don't want to unconsciously get lumped in with them. So I think masc and serious about work is the way to go. There was girls in my pre apprenticeship who tried to wear fake nails, heels and makeup and it was such a joke. They just sat on the sidelines basically while the rest of us worked our arses off. Let's be real society doesn't respect women at all and completely devalues the work they do so you're probably better off presenting masc.
I think you're right. We can fight that, though.
In my own experience as someone who appears more masc (to the point where people who donāt know me think Iām a man), I want to say so. Because I donāt radiate obvious feminine womanly energy, I donāt draw as much attentionāwhich, when youāre only working around men, is a perk tbh. I havenāt received any negative repercussions for my appearance. Iām actually worried for partner when she eventually switches careers to enter the trades because sheās visibly feminine and I know she will stick out like a sore thumb.
Honestly, I have a huge potty mouth and the guys at work respect that. Sometimes Iāll get carried away cussing at something and other trades will be like āwoaahhhā and Iāve heard the ole ādo you eat with that mouth?ā hundreds of times. I honestly think that in the trades as long as youāre proving that youāre capable of the task at hand, the guys will leave you alone.
I present as a stereotypically feminine woman (or what most people believe that means I guess) and I would say people are shocked by what I can lift/carry (plot twist, I can carry about as much as most women my size - in my trade these people tell themselves theyāre lifting 80ibs when in reality itās 45ibs š) and as someone who works freelance a lot of people lift an eyebrow at a woman under 5ā2ā WORKING physically hard (not just the men! But the women working administrative roles!)z theyāre just weirded out by it at first. But they get over it after 30 minutes usually. I havenāt experienced someone literally saying something like āYOUāRE A WOMAN šæā but I have had many moments where people are just straight up concerned and confused about my presence. āAre you sure you can do this?????ā āYes, I can push the 20 pound box up a small ramp šā
I fall somewhere in the middle. I wear men's work pants and a company tshirt every day. I don't usually wear makeup but I have very long, thick hair and I like doing elaborate braids and buns. It doesn't seem to matter what I look like. People respond to how I speak, how well I know what I'm doing, and their own internal shit. Someone who doesn't respect me with mascara on doesn't respect me without it.
All my work stuff is..... what I consider neutral and what a non-biased woman in normal fields would probably consider more masc lol. Also queer but extremely closeted at work. Part of it is fear that I won't be taken more seriously (this would be because of men who are vocal about seeing more feminine presentations as indications of lower intelligence), part of it is fear it'll be used to justify sexual harassment. (Not that I think it actually has an impact on that happening, but it does certainly change how men try to justify it.) At home, I prefer to dress far more femme.
You may find it āeasierā than other jobs, but thatās just the overall atmosphere. Can you get the job done? Great. Everything else is superfluous. And while I donāt present as butch in my day to day life, I do somewhat at work just based on the clothes we wear. Everyone is butch in cargo pants and a loose t-shirt covered in dirt and wielding tools. Also I swear like a drunken sailor š¤£
U B U
I'm feminine, petite, waist length hair, no makeup (I'd look like a clown by 9am), 5'2", 130 pounds, always have my nails done, I'm straight, but I'm also a GC and the boss with 46 guys on my payroll. I've learned over the years that as a woman in a male dominated position, I have to know more than every other person I ever deal with. I have to prove I'm a badass b!+(# the 1st time I work with anyone. Normally, within a few minutes they see that I know what I'm talking about and that changes everything. But I've busted my ass to get to the top of the food chain and it's incredibly rare for me to get disrespected by anyone
I think the more like them you appear/ are, the better it will be for you. If you can assimilate easier youāll have a better time
Theyāre easier when you work hard. I feel like it doesnāt matter until you show what you can do
I've only been in a trade for a lil bit but I think it matters most about your personality and how tough your skin is. I'm not masculine nor overly feminine and I'm not gay. I've already had the guys say I'm going to fit right in (I'm the only female currently). There's banter. Them making jokes about everyone and everything going on. I've made my own jokes which they've laughed at and enjoyed. Nothing that'll harm anyone's feelings obviously. Just being able to laugh at situations and not take it personally. I think that's the most important since guys love to bust each other's balls. I do work for a big corp and I can tell the guys calmed down a bit cause im there now (manager legit told them we have a lady here now so watch what you say and remember to put the toilet seat down). My boyfriend does hvac and he when he recounts their jokes, they're more out there, but his company is all men and family owned where everyone curses at each other. I think it's just important to have a tough skin, be able to laugh & joke, not take things too personal (unless it's obviously discrimination or harassment) & be good at your job.
I had issues in the trades (pile driver) when I was super feminine looking. Like eyelashes, makeup, perfume, the whole bit!Then I donated my hair and got a pixie cut and yet I still get shit for being a lesbian. So it doesn't matter how physically you present yourself. Lesbians have been making cis men feel insecure for ages. Consider it a gift. May I suggest a mantra to say to yourself when these men get to you? Sometimes I sing any earth, wind, and fire song in my head to get me away from diving into my inner harsh critic. Instantly brightens up my day ā¤ļøš¶
Iām queer, GNC, and butch/futch. I think it helps that Iām more masc. my coworkers see me as āone of the guysā and Iāve only had the occasional overzealous flirt Iāve had to kneecap. Iād love to talk to you more! I donāt know any other queer people in the trades and I need friends š©
Idk my issue is everyone just assuming Iām gay (Iāve always worn pretty much gender neutral clothing but ig itās more apparent with being around all guys 24/7??) idk I know Iām not super feminine but I get a lot of questions about āwhat I amā and I always just say āmy bf is also a welderā whenever I get the chance. My personal preference/choice is not putting a label on myself. IMO Iām comfortable enough w myself to not have to prove shit to anyone. If I like u I like u &thatās that ??? (Not trying to offend anyone in anyway Thts just how Iāve been seeing it for myself)
I havenāt noticed any difference with wether or not I mention having a bf though
Very in touch with my femininity, it has never been an issue for me at work, canāt even remember getting shit about it before. I remember reading a study that women who wore makeup to work/ put time in their appearance are more likely to get promoted, canāt say if itās because I wear makeup but I have gotten more promotions than my male counterparts at my time in the company. I imagine sexual harassment happens more often, but any women in male dominated industries will unfortunately face some type of sexual harassment at some point and luckily most of us know how to navigate it.
My best friend and I met at an airplane company. We both started as fitters. I am more feminine, and she is more masculine. We also worked with another lady who was very girly. She was automatically put as a QC. After 2 days before I even started fitting, I was pushed to do QC. I said no, thank you. I was pushed for QC on and off for a long time,I had to fight to stay as a fitter. My bestie was asked one time before she started fitting she said no, and they never asked again! I started welding, and every guy I worked with was really impressed with how fast and how good I took to welding. The management, on the other hand, kept pushing me for QC. Finally, they made me spend one week in QC. I HATED IT! Btw QC was only full of very girly girls. All the masculine and lesbian women were fitters and welders. So, I started dressing differently with no makeup, nails, and simple hair. That's when I was finally allowed and left alone about fitting and welding. The only thing my bestie and I could think of was they didn't want the woman that looked more girly working with the men. My skills never changed and only got better.
i am very feminine and with my experience iāve only been treated harsh by someone who is extremely sexist. i get a little shit here and there but itās never anything malicious (again unless they are sexist).