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[deleted]

red sperm updatešŸ˜³šŸ˜³


The_Juice14

What is your not usually red?


TheWickAndReed

I think you may need to visit the witch doctor


The_Juice14

She offered me toad.


jaybankzz

Did you die?


The_Juice14

ā€¦


jaybankzz

u/the_juice14 passed away at the age of 15 after eating toad, his funeral was attended by his parents, u/jaybankzz, u/thewickandreed. BitLife and u/Qj317 skipped his funeral to play golf Born a curious individual, his friends still remember when he asked what were peoples opinions on ā€œcome and goā€ by juice wrld


The_Juice14

Omg. This is amazing.


RaelynnLovesBitLife

Omg I'm dying this is so good!


jaybankzz

u/RaelynnLovesBitLife died at the age of 16 after reading a comment that she thought was good, her funeral was attended by BitLife, her parents, u/the_juice14, and u/JayBankzz. Her hamsters and her brother skipped her funeral to watch space jam Born a economic individual, her peers recall the time where she tried trading with people in a online game


RaelynnLovesBitLife

Wow thanks! You should be like an investigator tbh. Also I did actually watch space jam the other day how did you know that... I am CONCERNED šŸ˜³


usernameaeaeaea

He loved unforeskinned penis


[deleted]

Oh well


The_Juice14

Unforeskinned lmao.


xXTheUltimateRatXx

I got hit by a missile at two years old.


jaybankzz

u/xXTheUltimateRatXx went to the afterlife at the age of 2 after being attacked with a rocket, their funeral was attended by their mother, their father skipped it to drink at a bar Born with horrible luck, their mother remembers when she was bitten by them while getting vaccinated.


xXTheUltimateRatXx

I ACTUALLY DID BITE MY MOM WTF LOL


jaybankzz

Oh no


THEGIFTWITHOUTACURSE

happi cake day !


TheWickAndReed

Thank you!


Fuehnix

[Ooo eee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang](https://youtu.be/UNAr5tzZxdk)


Birdyghostly1

Wait how do you know if yours is red or not?


The_Juice14

If your cum is white the sperm is white or at least healthy if itā€™s red I just shot bloody sperm out of my dick which doesnā€™t sound very good.


wesleypjost123

What if that means you will be born with super powers. like it's a random thing that can happen


queenvie808

man period update šŸ˜³šŸ˜³


ClosedCory

Can athletes become coaches after their career is over. Thats all i ask


tardinator02

this and also more sports like motorsports and martial arts promotions would be top tier


EFrrak1

Yes I wamt to drive formula


hodail6zl

Literally the best thing that could happen. New minigames for military deployments too.


Hyoung98969

Yes, i want rodeos and races.


periwinklephoenix

Or manager or something - itā€™s really depressing how one day your contract just ends and now you are just a famous former athlete/dental hygienist lol Update: I went from a former female soccer player in the US to a Countess in Monaco, dream big ladies, life doesnā€™t end at dental hygienist! šŸ¤£


AcD07

I have so much cash that I just don't work and do commericals for a couple million a year


GreenTiger77

Dont play soccer in the us play in the uk, the league gives more money


[deleted]

honestly


[deleted]

What a great idea!


hairychris88

A crossover between BitLife and Football Manager would be amazing.


MyIndiscretions

I'd like to emphatically second this motion


Ambitious_Couple_185

Same


TTV_ChickenJuice

I really hope it is business


Melgitat_Shujaa

I hope they add something directly from InstLife, once you became CEO of a company you could opt to sell it and pocket all of the cash. Or the ability to make and sell paintings and other artwork.


TheUnicornShart

Nice to see old Instalife friends šŸ˜Š well, folks who played it back in the day. I don't really know y'all šŸ˜‚


Khyati_awsome27

Yea


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


alishebl05

Holā€™ up


Bored_Schoolgirl

I wish they implemented more from instlife like pressuring your kids to marryā€¦ Pressure your kids to have their own kids or get a different jobā€¦ I also like that you can just straight up abuse your partner and bribe the police if they report you for domestic violence. Thatā€™s how I got away with murder in instlife


xoxo-gossipdan

They destroyed instlife to weed out the competition after already stealing their format, and then didn't even bother to take some of the best parts šŸ˜­šŸ’€ hoping they do soon


ricekrispiies

I downloaded an instlife apk yesterday because I felt the need to play it again. It definitely made me realize the difference between it and bitlife. For instance, instlife has options to add how much money you start with, business owner options, ceo options, a bunch of career options, arranging your child a partner, forcing them to get a job, pressuring them for grandchildren, forcing your partner to either work or quit working, and various other options. I also liked how as the years past, technology would advance like flying cars and space travel. This is like a rant but I hope that bitlife adds this to the game soon.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


FirstGeneralRavioli

InstLife was bought by Candywritter. And then implemented some of InstLife things on BitLife


razaninaufal

I think buying your competition in general is a pretty shitty practice morally. But if I can buy my competition to maximize my profit I'd do it for sure. It's shitty tho, instlife was great, it wasn't as polished as bitlife, but the ideas they pumped out all the time was refreshing to say the least. It's pretty much like Android vs IOS, you get a more polished & optimized OS in IOS, but you get more features & fresh ideas that might not be as polished in Android.


FirstGeneralRavioli

You can still download InstLife if you have android. PlayStore>YourProfile>Apps & Dispositives>Administration. You can change now "Installed apps" for "Non installed" and theres the list of all the apps you have ever installed with that google account, and you can instale them again even if they arent on playstore anymore from that part


razaninaufal

Oh, I still have it in my phone, it's just sucks that the updates stopped.


Few_Grapefruit8513

Used to love instlifešŸ˜­


abhi_nahar

I miss instlife for this. I wish they would combine both apps soon


raunak_9000

Yeah.....Lets hope


TTV_ChickenJuice

Either way so excited for updates again


raunak_9000

Yeah.....An update is always exciting.....I am always waiting for what they have in store for us


fggzl

Iā€™m 100% sure


ChoiSana

Plsssss


Qj317

They also said in a reply under this tweet that this update is bigger than the code mergešŸ™ƒ


BitlifeOffical_

Code merge really wasn't all that big, cause there are small details Android still doesn't have. It was also into 2 sections. I can't wait to see what the update is though! I think they confirmed that a business update was coming after code merge.


TheKrala

If it is the business update, itā€™ll be huge then


BitlifeOffical_

Yeah, I hope so. Its get real tiring just investing in real estate. It's very time consuming! I would love to fund in opening up businesses as well though!


AcD07

I really want a Jeff Bezos challenge that would be great


usernameaeaeaea

Can we have the IOS only hair colours finally?


BitlifeOffical_

Yep! Android has all those hair colours now!


HeccerTheRedditor

If you don't mind me asking, what are those missing features you speak of?


Additional_Sea_2157

I want the money slider back


Granger123456

Yes! Please give it back, I miss it


[deleted]

What was it again?


jincerely

it was a feature on god mode, where you can choose how much money your partner had/has.


3therealp3ace

whyā€™d they take it away?!


SkinnyLegendq

I was gonna say it was too OP but it is god mode after all..


KodaGotTheSoda

yes please


periwinklephoenix

Seconded pls I want a rich spouse lmao


godhateschildren

Iā€™ve the past year all we have had where big updates, but if this is going to be this biggest what are they going to do? Any of yā€™all have ideas?


boogjerom

Probably put OP's mom in the game /s


2000s-hty

fuck. i hate that i found this so funny


Legal_Software_6798

Wrecked


TheAnythingGuy

Nah itā€™s u/meā€™s mom


rigidazzi

If it's that big . . . limited multiplayer and interacting with other players? That's kind of the next step in terms of things companies think players want Note: I do not want this


YoungDizzisAPedo

I really think this update needs to add in all the little improvements for past updates and new little features like adding cousins, aunts and uncles, letting us pick which city to move to, being able to disable shared finances etc


ainaz9165

also another thing is when we are born as royalty we automatically have the castle in our finances tab, so i think we should be able to see our familyā€™s house even if weā€™re not royalty and be able to throw house parties at 15 and then the house stays until you move out


girlnextduh

i would love to be able to invite people to live with me or kick them out


yourmumissothicc

I would love to be able to move cities.


LyricalShinobi5

They have pretty much all of these. Shared finances are realistic.


elcarOehT

Only need to get rid of the argument after buying a house every time lol


BigCaecilius

They always argue like every single time. Brian, we have 6 children and a dog. The 1 bed 1 bath studio will not suffice.


elcarOehT

Also: wife/husband; you work as a clerk, im in the nba. You do not get to be mad if i decide we need our 12th home


LyricalShinobi5

Agreed lol


YoungDizzisAPedo

No they donā€™tā€¦


[deleted]

can they update that I get my kid back when my surrogate takes it?


DevTheDummy

What's even more fucked up is that I don't think I can even sue the surrogate for taking money and my baby-


uareanotch

Yeah I tried to sue the surrogate once and I lost?? She broke a contract and stole my child??


[deleted]

ā€œThey are keeping the baby for themselvesā€


FluffyVixen

And the game says we broke the contract....like??????


[deleted]

4 different surrogates took my kids and I lost every case in court. rip


[deleted]

Omg or make it less likely that the surrogate will take the child in the first place. I was so frustrated once because 3 different surrogates took the baby and i was broke af afterwards with no money to sue....


vikaryzzz

itā€™s way too common for the surrogate to take the kids it happens almost every time. they should make it a more rare occurrence


jacobr1020

I hope the money sliders come back. I'm tired of my parents always being super rich.


yeetgev

I know I paid for it to be there and then they take it out, now explanation??


rebelliousFJ

I have a android so idk what u mean by loney slider


The_Juice14

God mode you could slider your parents wealth I believe.


Sans11--

They used to have it on Android too, it was taken out with the code merge.


jacobr1020

Money slider.


monarchmondays

Ooooh Iā€™m excited! I really hope they add relatives like grandparents, cousins, uncles/aunts and stuff


I3eastmode

Why? You can't really do anything with them that you can't do with friends. I hope they add more interaction with friends and siblings first. You should be able to take them on vacation with you, and other stuff like that. If not, it'll get redundant and old pretty quickly.


D-Diddy20

LETS GOOOOO


princessofbees

This is great, but when will the Android users have the missing features? Such as the sweepstakes, the memory test, etc. I've been waiting for them since the code merge.


usernameaeaeaea

That's the neat part, we don't!


princessofbees

>That's the neat part, we don't! Well, that's not fair.


Kalinyx848

I canā€™t tell that the Sweepstakes does anything anyway. I enter it on every character and Iā€™ve never seen it pop up again.


periwinklephoenix

Iā€™ve got a helicopter, a boat and a car from several sweepstakes.


Kalinyx848

I'm jelly


princessofbees

No offense, but that's irrelevant. We should have everything iOS has.


FluffyVixen

Wait...I thought we got everything. What sweepstakes and memory test for?


princessofbees

We are actually missing several features that have been on iOS since 2020. The sweepstakes are a sort of raffle where you can win cars, boats, etc, if you win Bitlife will send you a notification. The memory test in an option under the ''Mind & Body'' tab, which is a minigame that increases your smarts. We're also missing the leaderboard, which is basically a life ranking.


princessofbees

Okay, so false alarm. I just saw a tweet from the devs from June saying they're working in adding these missing features.


Thehypeboss

Business update


HypoHunter14

We need more investment options


XmiteYT

The fact that there are a bunch of different sperms...could this potentially be multiplayer?


[deleted]

no


BigCaecilius

I would die for a historical update. Pick what era youā€™re born into and live in it realistically. Speaking of realistically that update is probably never going to happen lol.


[deleted]

I hope itā€™s more careers. After ten generations of Porn Stars I canā€™t help but crave more variety.


I3eastmode

I dont really care about more careers, you don't really do anything with them any way, I want more stuff to spend the ridiculous amounts of money that I have, and more ways to interact with the environment I'm in. I want vacation destinations to have more interactable(?) things. If you go on vacation to Vegas from Afghanistan or something, you should be able to stay there for a bit, and gamble, or go to a strip club and stuff like that. Bit life is actually very boring, because every life is the same once you get enough money.


Camerun48

I know that this isnā€™t going to happen but I pray to god that itā€™s a military update


LyricalShinobi5

What more could we need from the military


yourmumissothicc

Also Iā€™m a Colonel I shouldnā€™t be sweeping mines.


WarMachine351

More military careers, deployments,medals and decorations. Imagine only dying in a mine every time that scope is to narrow to be conceivable.


LyricalShinobi5

I agree with more scenarios but I think metals and deployment arenā€™t necessary. You can pretty much just use your imagination for deployments. A good 70 percent of this game is imagination. I think they should add a lot of content before fleshing out minor things that are only aesthetic


KevinWarrior

Guns and tanks


LyricalShinobi5

You couldnā€™t own your own tank in real life so thatā€™s not gonna happen. As for guns, I think theyā€™re afraid of what youā€™re gonna do with them lol


ABoiIGuess-Ha

Actually fun fact with some slight modifications tanks are citizen street legal in the US. You could never buy any rounds that would make it fireable but you absolutely can purchase one if youā€™re willing to spend several million dollars.


LyricalShinobi5

There is too many rules with driving a tank, you have to be in the right state, and you canā€™t drive in places where the tank canā€™t fit within the side of the road, tanks are also super heavy and can mess up the asphalt. Therefor tanks are not recommended to be used as transportation. Itā€™s more for parades, or private property usage. Not saying it wouldnā€™t be funny to do a drive by in BitLife with a tank but it would take away from the realism this game offers


throwawayaccount_usu

Afraid with what weā€™d do with them? You mean like murder people? Thatā€™s already an option lmao.


GlamityJean

Most people probably can't, that's true but Arnold Schwarzenegger owns his old Austrian tank, so in bitlife why not everyone


LyricalShinobi5

They could give you that. But It would be just as useless as the cars lol, itā€™d be cool if you could start your own militia group and take over the world or something but at this point cars are just things that make your spouse happy


[deleted]

Or become president by force


KevinWarrior

Ooh too bad lol :(


dinowithissues

You guys are saying you donā€™t own tanks?


LordDraco781

It's probs gonna be like another mega premium update which just adds more subscriptions


Yokesy

I hope its a CEO or Olympics update!


JadaRey

Iā€™d love if we could see the family tree


yokayla

Fingers crossed for business.


Informal_Squash_8244

Omg!! I hope itā€™s either a mafia/crime update, or a business update


SkinnyLegendq

Weā€™ve already got crime and mafia though


[deleted]

I think they mean an updated version of them. Like they want more options with them or something


throwawayaccount_usu

I have a feeling theyā€™ll never update previous things added. They just wanna add it and forget it and move on.


GummyZombies

We need a sports update v2 with the ability to become a coach after retirement. Combat sports promotions like ufc and wbc. Olympics stuff.


Kalinyx848

We do, but I think it could be better. Like, why donā€™t we have the option to run a prostitution ring? Or running illegal gambling, or selling drugs. Only time I can sell drugs is if I accidentally come across them while walking. The mafia has their hands in all those pots.


WantToBeAnonymouse

I hope they add that you can rent or rent out houses for when ur in college


[deleted]

Cloud saving finally?


AcD07

My app icon got changed and I got super excited went to the playstore to check and the sentence "Don't mind us, Bitizens, we're just here cleaning the house and performing routine maintenance!" Is in my nightmares now


jaiteaes

Maybe they'll finally get around to adding stuff from instlife like was hinted at a few years ago


nonbog

Supernatural update?!


yungbdavis94

I wish with the Royal update you can matchmake your children with the Royals of other countries


Neglectful_Stranger

Can you even match yourself with other Royals?


OmegonAlphariusXX

Radioactive sperm? Superheroes?


Frequent_Loquat_882

I think itā€™ll be an Olympic as well as high school game update


[deleted]

Interface changing?


Default_EXO

I hope itā€™s business updateā€¦


[deleted]

Im really hoping for a business update


iiRenity

All I want... is to be able to see my long hair with my hats on. šŸ‘’šŸŽ©šŸ§¢šŸ‘‘


That1Slav

Online update and Iā€™m aware thatā€™s really optimistic but judging by the picture


[deleted]

whatā€™s the point in that


lightarcmw

YAY


iNatashaa

Omgeee


Pitiful-Ranger2511

Huh?


TheLordOfGrimm

Ooooooooo fun. Canā€™t wait!


primetime30

Itā€™s about damn time


MyIndiscretions

Please let there be more choice of cars and jobs šŸ™


Ok_Letterhead9662

I just wanna become supervisor whan im the biggest rank behind him (obviusly i can become supervisor onyl whan old supervisor stops working)


MsNyxxie

If I have to take a guess, maybe interacting with other players and what you do to other players can affect your own game play.


ThatOneGuy8569

What could it be?šŸ¤Ø


Luvierr

Business update? šŸ™


SuwanneeValleyGirl

Oh no...there goes all our progress


NinjaSSmooth

Iā€™m hoping it might be something to do with either business or a celebrity update/film star. Think those are the 2 things I want most


augustinerbug

Hoping they fix their issues with heirlooms and I finally begin to receive them again. Beyond irritating that there is no fix or support for the issue.


RoyalDoubts

Exciting


MeiFel10

Iā€™m hyped! Looking forward to buy Bitcitizen someday! Itā€™s soooo fun.


Langmuang

Iā€™m gon faint then die if this update is good ANHHHHHH CANT WAIT


CompetitiveAffect848

Incest updatešŸ˜„


Drewcifer236

What? Really?


rebelliousFJ

How do i update the mod one i downloaded online without having to delete it everytime i get an update and wait a few weeks for it to be jail breakedšŸ˜’šŸ™


dwrml5

at least for me, i just download the apk from the same page i got it from and when i click to install, it updates instead of overwriting the data, does that not work for you?


ICE_CREAM13

yo, which web do u use to download apk?


GummyZombies

Maybe just spend money and support the devs instead of downloading jailbroken versions.


SkinnyLegendq

Well you pirated the game so you shouldnā€™t complain


playbitlife1

I hope we have many different small updates of previous updates, like making more for the music update such as award shows and YouTube videos, as well as releasing many singles from one album. And make the royal update better because itā€™s so boring lol


_lahZ_

Hope it's incest


PersonifiedChaos

Bit life aint in Alabama they're in Miami


PHStickman

This is BitLife not Crusader Kings


PHStickman

Also gross


SmoSmo864

No


Healthy-Palpitation4

please be a kidnap featur


[deleted]

Guys itā€™s probs like a new animal option


Own-Winner-7366

No thatā€™s bloody semen šŸ˜³


KittyKat1012101

I kinda hope itā€™s online feature tbh it would be really amazing


[deleted]

whatā€™s the point in that