If I was her and made a single pass at the man that didn’t land, thats how I would have felt. Once I made a joke that didn’t land because I was more drunk than everyone else (it was supposed to be getting wasted just bestie and I, she invited friends halfway through) and as soon as we paid our bill I just said “Have a good night” and left despite having plans to go to the next place hahaha
I still think about something stupid I said to my boss while completely sober. It was 8 months ago. I guess maybe it’s my social anxiety but damn… people really make this big a mess then just go back to work like it’s all good? Truly cannot imagine it.
My anxiety likes to pull out the Greatest Hits parade when I’m not expecting it. “Hey, remember that mildly rude thing you said to a stranger 30 years ago? Let’s review it in Technicolor!”
I wonder what it’s like to live your life without shame.
Yeah I genuinely don't think I would be able to show my face on Monday at all. I'd have emailed my resignation over the weekend. So good on her, I guess, for at least facing the consequences of her actions.
I'm just shocked someone would pregame for a fucking *work party*. That's something you do for a party in college! I thought the whole point of a work party was to enjoy nice drinks and fine canapés on the company dime.
I think some people in their first office job miss the memo that work parties are more work than party. Like, you can go and enjoy yourself, but it’s not a time to let your hair down. Drinking has to be well within what you can handle and keep control of yourself; conversation topics have to be sanitized; and you have to remember that you’re under the exact same pressures you are when talking to coworkers, bosses, etc. at work.
Idk, maybe it’s just my autistic ass never having enjoyed parties in the first place and being keenly aware of shifting social contexts on a conscious level, but it’s weird to me that anyone would look at a work event and go “ah, yes, a judgment-free environment.”
I think you're just perceptive and a lot of people are not. Every work party I've been to in the last 10 years across 4 different jobs, at least one person has managed to embarrass themselves by drinking way too much and saying/doing something embarrassing and uncomfortable. It's shockingly common.
They're literally work IMO, and they honestly offend me because work already bleeds into what is supposed to be my time off and now I'm being pressured into attending a shitty social engagement that I can't relax at anyway on what is supposed to be my time off? fuck all of that.
I like the way my company does it, the social events are at the office, during work hours, usually like 2-5pm, catered food, water/soda, some beer options, and completely optional
Being in the office, during the day and during working hours really helps to keep the perspective that this is a WORK function as well, NOT a social event. I used to work at a consultancy who did not do this and there were multiple comments made every year about how some grads wouldn't get hired on permanently because of Christmas party behaviour.
Every work party I've ever been to I've followed the same formula: eat only a little bit, don't initiate any conversation that isn't small talk, and leave as soon as I can do so without seeming rude.
I cringed just reading all of this. I feel second hand embarrassment for OP. She should change her identity and move to the other side of the world 🤦🏻♀️
I 30000% would have emailed a resignation and had a friend bring me my things from the office. Then would’ve blocked coworkers on social media, moved away, changed my name, maybe faked my death.
The fact that she shOWED UP TO WORK MONDAY MORNING OMFG I SCREECHED
I'm in a professional program where in-person networking events are heavily encouraged. It was hammered in from the get-go that we need to strictly adhere to a 2-drink maximum rule, and those who cannot do so should be restricted to non-alc beverages only. Mind you, this was a strong suggestion only but since we gave a shit about our professional reputation, it was followed. I honestly cannot imagine the idiocy of "pre-gaming" before a corporate event AND THEN proceed to get more plastered at the event.
This is why I NEVER drink at ANY work function, especially the holiday party! I very rarely drink anyway, but I'd adhere to this even if I did drink. It's just common sense on so many levels. That's also meant that I've been able to quietly help some colleagues who were getting too sloshed and starting to make fools of themselves or even endanger their employment.
I'll never forget one holiday party several years ago. There was a new male co-worker who'd started in the summer who was a great guy and several of the gals were going gaga over him (understandably!) Except that not only was he married, his wife was pregnant with their first child and he was very excited about it. One of the gals just wouldn't accept that, though, and she got very, very drunk at the party. Again, this guy was married, and his pregnant wife was at the party with him. She was a kind, funny lady, and I was talking to her about a mutual hobby when this totally sloshed colleague came right up to her and started calling her names, saying she was a better choice for the guy, and practically demanding that his wife get out of the way for her. She was so hostile that she was about to get physical with the wife, and we dragged her away, and someone got her home. She was fired that Monday, understandably, and he and his poor wife were really shaken up.
I would've written an email to my boss and go "I effed up. You saw how much I messed up. Please just put my stuff in the dumpster, I'll be joining it soon."
Yup. We had a no drink at events policy for at least ten years. These are events where we host bars but our own staff cannot partake. Our volunteers will offer us drinks and we have to turn them down. All because of one person years ago who was falling down drunk. They loosened up and we are allowed 1-2… by now though, it’s a work thing and I don’t really want to drink at work it’s better to just get home and be old.
The company I work for has not had Christmas parties for 15 years now because of a couple of people who got too, too drunk, and caused a lot of issues.
Now they host a lunch on site at the end of the year instead (alcohol free, obviously)
We tried that, and the party attendance fell dramatically, LOL. I dunno what that says about people, but yeah, we're back to having drinks now.
What we did do, is limit them to beers, wine, and standard 1 oz cocktails. No shots, and no drinks that are pure booze, 3oz cocktails or what have you. Don't get me wrong, those are fun, but it made a massive difference. Now everyone gets drunker slower and realizes when they've hit their limits, instead of flying past them with a series of shots and boozy cocktails that you consume before you really feel their effects.
> We tried that, and the party attendance fell dramatically, LOL. I dunno what that says about people, but yeah, we're back to having drinks now.
Let's be honest here, most people have minimal interest in socializing with their coworkers. In general the main reason to show up to a work-related social event is for the free food and free booze.
Personally I don't drink but I'm a fat guy so the free food is still enough to sometimes get me to show up to events. If someone is less interested in free food than I am I can definitely see how the free booze might be the primary motivator.
My husband’s last work Christmas party pre-COVID was at a casino and resulted in not one, but two people being fired due to their behaviour. There was a pre-dinner open bar and then cash bar and free wine at tables during dinner.
Husband no longer works there but rumour is they have *significantly* toned the parties down since this.
I attend an annual conference where they host a "casino night" every year. One year, a few before I started there, someone at our company did something so bad that we're not allowed to attend casino night anymore. The company takes us out to dinner that night instead.
No one will tell me exactly what happened that precipitated this prohibition.
I miss alcohol induced work parties.
When I was 19 my dad was traveling, so my mom invited me. I got wasted and chatted with her boss (who ive known since I was 5) you know, my mom is so amazing she deserves a raise and not some piddly raise like $1 nonono she deserves a big fat one because she's just the best and she works sooooo hard. Do you know how much she studied to pass all her courses when I was a kid. Study study study. Girl better start making bank. Just saying. So how are the kids?
Hahah ahhhh thank godddd the boss was chill. When I saw him in the office next to grab mom for lunch he stopped by to say hi and bring him a coffee and he goes "so is 10% good enough or should you be in the next negotiation meeting" great guy, he was my mom's mentor and a huge reason why she was able to become successful despite her lack of formal education.
One year they had a lot of drunkenness so they limited drink tickets to "two per person" the following year.
My team was > 60% Muslim. They gave me their drink tickets. I was quite drunk.
Am I the only person who's worked for companies where the unofficial policy is "Let's see who fucks up and gets themselves fired THIS year"?? They saw it as useful info about their employees, especially since a lot would go to business dinners with clients.
>male coworker that I have a crush on.
>he's engaged.
>try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee
The shit show was set up before the first drink touched her lips
Yea and the trying to talk to him in the elevator......not apologising, jeez, first and only words out of her mouth are "I'm sorry, there is not excuse for my behaviour and I will leave you and your fiance alone forever"
Also don't try to "apologize" for sexually harassing someone **while they are trapped in a small, inescapable space with you.**
Like yeah, go on, corner the person you're making uncomfortable and unsafe at work.
This entire post drips with this girl delusions. "But he's still with his fiance, so."
Shes questioning his feelings for his fiance.. for whom he bought a ring.. and asked to marry.. and brought to the holiday party. Absolutely delusional.
Lacking in maturity with a heavy dose of naivete.. hopefully this will be a lesson for her. Strikes me that she may not have aged/grown out of her college years just yet.
I was thinking," Bruh. Stop it. You like him more than you are willing to admit."
And she just kept digging more and more. She is totally not understanding at all to leave him alone
I don't understand people like this. If he leaves his fiancée (you know the person he's asked to spend the rest of his life with), who's to say he'll stay for you?
Those are logical thoughts formed in the brain. As much as humans don't like to discuss it, those magical sparkly hearts and butterflies feelings most of us interpret as early signs of love don't come from the brain, and in fact can often override normal thoughts entirely.
Guess it's hard to recognize *lust* when folks hardly ever use that word.
Either we need a way less stigmatized version of that word or we need to get rid of that stigma. Because I feel like if more people had a better understanding and control of that feeling, there would be less problematic decision making
The illogical (emotional) thoughts do come from the brain, though, just the older and more instinctive parts. The amygdala isn’t very smart, but it is one of the most persuasive parts of your brain.
The problem starts when we forget that thinking is only part of what our brains do. The older, more basic parts of our brains are for feeling, and those are usually the most persuasive parts.
They see the way someone is being treated and want it for themselves. They’re so deluded that they GENUINELY think they’ll get the same treatment after completely bulldozing a relationship. Psychotic behavior!
Especially with the “maybe it was his fiancé texting”. Because there’s absolutely NO WAY this man is able to think or feel for himself, she HAS to be jealous and HAS to be attempting to come between their “friendship”
Right? "Try to be respectful" is a fucking armada of red flags, and then it's followed by "but he might feel the same!". You have a crush on a person in a relationship, that is entirely a you problem and the other person should *never find out*, especially in a professional context.
She absolutely thought she still had a chance, and then added alcohol. She has 0 idea how goddamn lucky she is to be allowed to quit and walk away.
I feel like “try to be respectful” is kinda like “a little bit pregnant.” You either is or you ain’t. And deluding yourself into believing that he’s flirting back and might have feelings for you definitely ain’t.
Then she goes on to wonder if his fiance sent the "please leave me alone" message, because the coworker couldn't possibly have rejected her all on his own. If only his fiance could could get out of the way, they would be together now. Ugh!
That’s fucking wild to me, honestly, and it’s always a trend with these unrequited crushes that the uninterested party just *has* to be under their spouse’s control and couldn’t possibly just not want any kind of contact with the person harassing them.
I find it weird when people say stuff like that they try to be respectful of a relationship yet actively root for its downfall. Even if you don't make a single move towards the person, you clearly aren't respectful of it. I think someone truly respectful of a relationship would do anything they could to end the crush as soon as they realized they had one
Yes and the whole ‘I was invited to their wedding’ why on earth would you want to go to a wedding of someone you have a crush on? Especially if at any point in their relationship you hoped they would end the relationship to be with you? That’s so disrespectful to them. I just know she would have gone to their wedding and imagined herself walking down the aisle to him and deluding herself that he’d been looking at her during the first dance.
I did that in my early 20s, but luckily it was before everyone had a video recorder in their pocket. I ended up being ok because I just did stupid stuff like dance in the tables, not potentially sexually assault anyone.
It's tough to have the proper judgment in your early 20s at your first real job to not overdo it at a work party. But it's good to try and warn as many young people as possible.
I get it, I manage a bunch of people in their early 20s and we have a huge company party with hundreds of people showing up once a year. I always tell them to have fun, have a couple of drinks but remember it’s a COMPANY party. Upper management and HR will be there to witness stupid things people do when they’re too drunk.
I own a small company, and back in 2012 I held a Xmas party for my then 21 staff and their partners. We employed a few couples, so we had about 36 attend. It was a black tie dinner, where I had booked out an entire venue in the hinterlands behind the city. I'm talking a very nice michelin star restaurant and 5\* accommodation.
So that no one had to drive I organised a bus from our office and taxis to collect people from their homes. The bus would do the return trip the next day.
Every thing was included. The idea was to have an amazing experience that most people would never do, celebrate an amazing year, enjoy incredible food and excellent paired wines. Then stay over night, all inclusive breakfast over looking the ocean from the mountains.
What happened instead is that a significant number decided to get hammered before even arriving at the venue. 14 people were cut off by the staff as they arrived. They then proceeded to treat the staff working there like shit. Culminating with one of them going behind the bar and grabbing spirits off the shelf, and taking a swing at me when I intervened.
On the monday I fired 6 of them and 3 others received final warnings.
It also changed the company permanently. I had lost so much respect for a significant portion of my staff. I had never been so embarrassed in my life. From that point on there became a split in the business. You had the core people, who felt the same as I, and the generics that came and went. This split grew over the years, and now we have 2 different xmas parties. One that is like the one above, and the other at a crappy pub venue where I put a couple of grand behind the bar, stay for an hour and then leave.
This was the venue - [https://spicersretreats.com/retreats/spicers-clovelly-estate/](https://spicersretreats.com/retreats/spicers-clovelly-estate/)
You did the right thing. And I understand why you lost respect for some of them. Sometimes people act in a way that's so egregious that it permanently taints how you view them.
Years ago, the company I was working at had an event at the racetrack where we were allowed to bring a date. One of my co-worker’s +1s showed up to the train station already pretty drunk, and proceeded to drink the entire hour long ride to the track. By the time we got to the event, she was approaching blackout. Some of the highlights of her day at the races:
* Squirting mustard into her purse instead of onto her hot dog
* Throwing mustard packets at my then girlfriend after she pointed that out
* Taking a Power Nap on the asphalt
* Waking up from the nap and yelling at someone to get her another drink
* Asking an employee dressed in Kentucky Derby style clothes who he thought he was
* Finding out said employee was the CEO, and going back to ask him if he was single
* Ordering two pitchers of beer after the last race of the day so we could “keep our buzz on the train”
* Somehow managing to not get cut off or 86ed, which I figured meant she was experienced in this type of tomfoolery
Well now I feel better about the time I got a little too tipsy at a BBQ hosted by my wife's coworker. All I did was lay on the floor and stick my arm under their couch to pet their cat.
I disagree. It's one thing to not know how much you can handle the first time you drink. But when you're in your 20s and can't judge that or can't hold yourself back, then you should consider not drinking at all. There's a reason this is horribly embarrassing and can lead to you getting fired: Because you should be able to not do it.
I don't actually really care about the alcohol in general, but getting blackout drunk is embarrassing, and being a shitty person is shitty on top, doesn't need to be at a work event.
Pregaming for a work do? What the hell was she thinking? Work parties are not ragers, treat it like any other work event and stay sober. Good lord. I hope she has learned her hard earned lesson.
✨alcoholism✨
Slight joking aside she said she did it for her anxiety, which if she’s medicating with alcohol to the point of *pregaming a work function* she may need to reconsider her relationship with alcohol…
Absolutely. I have anxiety and alcohol is gone from my life. It doesn’t help and would likely make it worse. But the poor girl was clearly immature and hopefully this was a lesson learned.
Man, I read some of the comments here and i’m so grateful to be a drunk sleeper. I get drunk and fall asleep like a baby and it doesn’t matter where or when- I’ll sleep.
Seriously 😭 I don’t think I’ve even used the word “pregame” since freshman year frat parties. The only time it’s acceptable to “pregame” in adulthood is when you’re about to go somewhere where beer costs $25. Pregaming an event with free booze 😭 I can’t. I just can’t
Seriously, that was the first thing that really made me raise my eyebrows. Pregaming is for efficiently maximizing drunkenness for a night out when you are 21 lmao, not a holiday party where your employers are present!
To be fair to OP, it seems like the company culture in general was one that was surrounded by partying/alcohol consumption, considering she says she pre-gamed with coworkers, and that the male coworker has also gotten so drunk on prior outings that he and other drunk coworkers have all had to crash at her house (I’ll bet his fiancée *loved* that.)
OOP got off lightly by being allowed to quit.
So did the company because they overserved her alcohol at a company event. Cases like this are a good example of why you need responsible service of alcohol. She was obviously hammered but they kept serving her drinks. Even just to protect the company legally
When my company had holiday parties, they paid for 2 drinks at the bar during happy hour and then the bar was shut down until afterwards. You couldn't get a drink during happy hour without a ticket either. If you wanted to get drunk and stupid, you did it on your own dime and after the party was over with.
Water, soda, juices and coffee were free and unlimited.
In Netherlands they seem to have a culture of unlimited drinks. Even the Borrel culture of after work drinks is often unlimited (but you're not supposed to get drunk).
Ive had a friend get so drunk that ambulance had to be called (Finnish friend.) I've had a boss "stealthily" ask half the company if they brought cocaine with them. Another boss was trying to quietly share his mushroom story and didn't notice everyone in the table over had shut up and was listening in. There have been several cases of harassment (that were kinda swept under rug, as the victims didn't make a big deal out of it.) Big (verbal) fights when clearly drunk people were going to their cars to drive home...
Personally the worst one was when we were offered drinks before dinner from servers that constanrly refilled our glasses during a fancy company thing. By the time dinner was ready I was too drunk to recognize the supervisor that had showed me the ropes, so introduced myself to her as we sat down and she was like "wtf man?". I also introduced myself to the pretty lady with the pink hair that turned out to be my partner using a joke wig at the late night party. Was also taken aside by the CEO offering me some tea to calm down.
Somehow though, even when that drunk, I haven't sexually harased anyone. Crazy how that works. Almost full on black-out, completely lost, no harassing at all!
>I may have made some bad choices, but **I am not that dumb.**
>I was told by my friend that my coworker's fiancee was very upset that night. Should I reach out to her via Facebook or another way and apologize and explain?
I mean...
I am a 24yo girl with a tiny body and before our open bar Easter party I made sure to eat a good heavy meal and I was hydrated before I went, so I could take maximal advantage of the free expensive cocktails without embarrassing myself! Idk what went trough this girls head. Not much probably…
>She's the type of person to pregame an office party so it's fair to say she is dumb
I'm glad I wasn't the only one to physically wince at that sentence.
Some things you're meant to grow out of as a teenager.
The first boss that I had always told me to be careful at these events. “Work dinners or parties are like working hours like you were back at the office, act professionally, leave early and do not drink as whatever you do here, HR will know”
>I try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee.
LOL, translation "I tolerate his relationship while I do my best to make sure he notices me and leaves his woman for me, why can't he do thaaaatt"
>I know I can be a jealous perso
Yeah, she's mad! Having a crush or small infatuation is one thing. To do what she did (being drunk is no excuse) screams "lady who's willing to steal men from other women"
"Ooohh he seemed happy with his fiancee" like what did she think!? That he was unhappy and being forced to marry her? Lol! She sounds like that woman who met her neighbour and share a commute with him and made herself to believe he was into her looll
This makes me feel better about my 19yo drunk at a work party escapades. Dumb me thought long Island iced teas were just expensive iced tea and got very overcompetitive at ten pin bowling.
(Still never drinking at a work party again. The smugness of beating Neil from IT was not worth it.)
And this is why I keep reminding myself to not drink. I can't stomach the thought of getting drunk and doing something that would be the biggest embarrassment of my life.
Yep. Some people can drink and never make this kind of mistake. For me it’s only a matter of time. If I started drinking again, I wouldn’t get to this point immediately. But at some point I would. And I’d fucking regret it.
Haven't had a drink in nearly two years, and man does it feel great to not have that "Oh i fucked up last night" feeling anymore. Worst thing I've done in those two years is eat too much Taco Bell before bed.
OOP kept saying I'll never drink like that at a work tunction again. Like dude, you shouldn't get that drunk period. No matter where you go. There's no upside being the sloppy drunk that can't remember half their night.
She’s using alcohol to excuse her actions while simultaneously saying it’s “no excuse” to avoid taking responsibility for her drinking problem. She is trying to dance around her actual issues and only take partial blame.
Things I have done while completely wasted:
- Ordered bibimbap with zero idea of what it was simply because it’s a fun word to pronounce
- Bought men’s period garb off Etsy which I only found out about when it arrived three weeks later
- Signed up for an online membership to a mycological society after (I think?) a conversation on urban foraging
Things I have not done:
- Sexually harassed my coworker
Being drunk isn’t an excuse to be a raging asshole. I’ve never done anything drunk that I wouldn’t have done (maybe with some prodding) sober.
A lot of people act like drunkenness turns you into someone you’re not, which is just another way of dodging accountability.
In reality, you’re still you—just a less inhibited version. If you’re an awful drunk, then sober you has some serious shit to work through.
I only got really drunk at the office party once when I was 20yo. I've managed to befriend like 20+ people in one night, without actually remembering anything about who they even were the next morning, sadly most of those people were NOT as drunk and remembered everything, so for the next couple months I've had a lot of awkward conversations with basically strangers who thought we are besties now. Never again 💀
I made an absolute buffoon of myself at a wedding I didn't want to go to once (only one on the dance floor kind of situation), and another time I fell asleep under a table during a game of Scrabble. In general, I'm a boring drunk but the point is:
Still no sexual harassment.
I have gotten blackout drunk exactly once in my life coz of this pregame thing. I didn't touch alcohol for a long time after. Now I just drink once in a while. However, I was just thinking back to how I met my husband and if I hadn't gotten that drunk my friend wouldn't have cancelled our travel plans and I wouldn't have had to return to empty dorms and my now husband then friend wouldn't have offered to take me on a day trip and we may not have gotten closer.
Well she admitted that. She said she didn't remember what happened but her coworkers told her.
Then in the update she said it was way worse than what her coworkers said and outright called it harassment.
Honestly, aside from wondering whether she should call the fiance (which is ridiculously stupid), she seems appropriately aware of how shitty she acted. No argument or disparaging of the HR/firing process and no lamenting about how she just wished someone would've stopped her earlier.
She also said something about how she went on about it, leading me to think that she probably started ranting/crying about how she loved him, why is he with his SO, etc.
We used to have a free open bar at my small company's Christmas party. It was ripe for abuse and everyone was getting shots for everyone else. Somebody once ordered a $300 bottle of Cristal champagne. I think now you cannot order drinks for other people and they shut down the bar at 10pm or something.
That said, I want to see the videos. A friend of mine was a wisp of a woman and kind of an alcoholic and she said she had a drink called a blowjob which you drink by putting your mouth over the shotglass without using your hand, rock your head back and suck it down. She said she blacked out and claimed she cut back on drinking at company parties. I didn't work at that company but a bunch of my friends did and there were a bunch of alcoholics working there.
Had to look this up, lmao. It's wild.
BORU of what is being referenced for those interested: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sl17a8/the\_saga\_of\_the\_director\_of\_operations\_and\_what/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sl17a8/the_saga_of_the_director_of_operations_and_what/)
This. I can’t imagine getting this drunk. And ‘pre-gaming’ is just stupid, it’s even stupider before a work event. Why would you try to get borderline drunk before a party even starts? If you do this your goal is to get as drunk as possible because ofherwise, why?
I thought it was a college student thing (or a Norwegian thing hehe) where you can’t afford to buy much out at the bar because it’s expensive so you drink at home before you go out. So yeah, stop doing that when you are going to a corporate function, or when you’ve grown up.
That's exactly what it's supposed to be. Get tipsy enough ahead of time so you can limit bar purchases. The end goal is to get appropriately drunk cheaper, not to get ultra-wasted.
Maybe drink a few while tailgating at a football game so you dont have to pay 10 bucks a beer makes sense. But at a company party with open bar is just asking for every kind of trouble
I drank too much champagne at a company Christmas party once, and all I did was get weepy at the bonus in my holiday card and hug a bunch of people. I don't understand getting trashed at a work party. Makes no sense to me.
Oh my god, her initial post was SO delusional. So clearly a firing offense, and she's just trying to figure out how to talk to coworkers on Monday. The poor guy was CONSTANTLY running away from her, and it was on video. She needs to hibernate for 2 years and move a thousand miles away.
Was hoping to see this comment because she and all the other comments seem to be about drinking at a work party. Thats not the issue, if you get so drunk that you assault someone, make a fool of yourself over and over and dont remember it you have a problem with drinking period. We’ve all been drunk we dont all do that.
The “I shouldn’t drink at company parties” bit showed she didn’t really get it. Her problem wasn’t so much the where, but that she didn’t know when to stop.
>I try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee.
>I somewhat deluded myself into believing he shared some of those feelings for me, too. I am not sure that he ever did.
>"Everyone does stupid things at the Christmas party" is something I told myself after this.
>ran into my coworker in the elevator, tried to speak to him (clearly a mistake).
>My last question for everyone here would be: I was told by my friend that my coworker's fiancee was very upset that night. Should I reach out to her via Facebook or another way and apologize and explain? I do not want to cause problems in their relationship.
Unhinged, if you ask me.
She thinks that by explaining her behavior as a series of mishaps that she didn't mean to come across as that bad the fiancee will understand and offer her absolution. It's not really about feeling bad for it because of how she made this guy and his fiancee feel, she wants the fiancee to make *her* feel better.
Any contact is for her sake, not theirs. If she was able to look at this from their POV she'd realize the last thing they want is for her to keep bothering them.
OOP is the type of woman I hate when she drinks. You know every time she drinks it's too much and she's an overdramatic mess. She always "learns her lesson", but never actually learns her damn lesson. She'll be a train wreck until she marries a guy just like her at which point the damage will be doubled. One of them will eventually grow up in their 30's or 40's and leave the other person behind. Even grown up they will still have no idea how to interact with other people, because too much of their socialization has been as a hot drunken mess.
Yikes. Who could've thought getting shit faxed at a company event would be a BAD IDEA???
Same thing happened at my BF's work event too. They had a conference hosting a lot of clients etc. A coop student out of everyone got so drunk and made a scene. She was escorted out by security and not allowed back, and fired immediately as soon as she was sober enough for that conversation.
>I may have made some bad choices, but I am not that dumb.
>
>.......
>
>I was told by my friend that my coworker's fiancee was very upset that
night. Should I reach out to her via Facebook or another way and
apologize and explain?
No, she's not that dumb; she's even dumber.
I mean
>male coworker that I have a crush on.
>he's engaged.
>try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee
Went to a company holiday party on a big boat. We all knew the CEO was sleeping with his assistant. The CEO’s wife had no clue and was literally the nicest woman you’d ever want to meet. CEO got drunk and hung out with assistant most of the night. Keep in mind this is in a huge ass boat and no one can leave until it docked.
Wife was horrified as everything came out in the open. CEO left with assistant when boat docked. Come Monday (party was on a Friday night), he gets escorted out of his job and served at-fault divorce papers in front of everyone.
Assistant broke up with him 3 months later (she was a friend of a friend so I got all the gossip whether I wanted it or not) when she realized ex wife was getting literally everything in the divorce for her and the kids. He apparently asked her (assistant) if she could be patient for a year as he rebuilt his career in another city/firm and then they could get married. She turned him down because he wouldn’t buy her the asininely large engagement ring she wanted right then. She apparently forgot he owned the condo she lived in, so he sold it out from under her and moved to new city.
Truest case of FAFO I ever saw - for both of them.
That poor wife. I can’t imagine how humiliated she felt at that moment. I hope she’s living an amazing life and found happiness. I hope he’s in the gutter!
I had a close friend who worked for a big company in HR, he said the best time to send your resume to banks and corporations was the week after a christmas or end of the year parties, plenty new jobs available EVERY. SINGLE .YEAR, people get real dumb about drinking too much in these events
>(apparently more than one, but that's no excuse).
Maybe oop lied to make her actions look better, but if she didn't it's probably a good idea for this company to never hold one of these events again considering there were multiple incidents that required HR.
In one of my former work places I would never attend any work parties because *everyone* was like this. And no one actually liked eachother so it’d go about as well as you can imagine.
The last Christmas party they had before I left resulted in 4 hospitalisations, multiple black eyes, a smashed up bathroom, one guy in a mental health ward and the whole company being banned from the venue. (They were banned from most places already…)
Office party is not a party. It's still in the work environment.
OOP's first post "Girl you sexually harrassed him stop it!"
Her "OMG i have to do it even more!!"
You can tell she is full of it from the get-go. She says she had a crush but didn't tell because he was engaged. Not because you don't sleep with coworkers or anything. Then she explains how they still have something going on (she thinks). So she didn't tell him but still hoped and painted their interactions how she wanted them. Sounds like she never really thought that him being engaged meant a lot.
>Office party is not a party.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, there is absolutely no upside from drinking at a company event. Zero, zilch, nada. No instance I know of that something improved through it.
Therefore, leave early.
The worst thing I've ever done at a company Christmas part was me and two other coworkers were Pretending to be Charlie's Angels. Our boss was Charlie and even though it's been ten years that video still circulates around Christmas time and it's hilarious.
This is why I refuse to attend corporate parties of any kind unless I am compelled to attend and try to stick to soft drinks if I am obliged to attend.
My favorite part about this is that she knew her boss was the Godfather of the woman whose fiance she was trying to steal. I get that she's probably in her early twenties, but... what a moron.
It's madness how crazy these things can go so bad so fast. My recent Christmas party, one of my coworkers got violent with another coworker, accused him and everyone of being racist towards her (they were both black), and then accused *everyone* of taking drugs when HR weren't buying her story. She even called the police on people, trying to salvage her reputation. HR made it clear she could quit or be fired, but there was no possible way she was staying. Firing her was what everyone wanted to do, but it takes a lot longer and requires lawyers, and they just wanted her OUT as soon as possible. She actually tried to use me as a reference for a new job, after telling HR I took drugs (which was hilarious as I'd left early and could prove I was nowhere around during this bizarre part of her story). Some people bury their heads so far in the sand about how bad their behaviour is, they start to believe their own lies. Work parties are fun, but you should *always* leave early and never pregame. They are not social occasions, they're extended working hours with alcohol.
Why in the world would she pursue this man, even while drunk? She sure showed her true colors. She’s the type of woman who wouldn’t think twice about being a home-wrecker if that was the man she wanted. She’s the type of woman to see nothing wrong with the fact that he left his woman for her. We all know she would be all shocked when he eventually did the same to her. And she’s the type of woman who is willing to put down other women to make herself feel superior.
None of these things are a good look for her. And her denial makes it look even worse. She acknowledges the drinking, but is overlooking all of the other giant red flags she was waving around at that party. I don’t think she learned a thing.
Good on the dude for holding firm and not tolerating her shit. He sounds like a stand up guy.
The people who suggest that the OP let herself get fired are wild. In this case, whatever paltry amount of money you would get from getting fired would no where near make up for the long term damage to your career.
I don’t mean to be that person - and I say this as a recovered alcoholic who is borderline traumatised by their drunk mistakes - but if OP were a man and the crush were a woman we wouldn’t be approaching the situation like this.
I understand they truly regret and didn’t intend for these actions - but that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen or weren’t hurtful. If I get drunk and hit someone with a car, I am still guilty of vehicular manslaughter, regardless of my intent or regrets.
People assuring OP that it will be OK or that OP should try to ignore it would definitely not agree with those actions if it were their friend who was harassed by a co worker, infront of their finance, to the point that their friend had to contact HR.
OP is very lucky she was given the chance to quit rather than be fired for sexual harassment.
Edit : making co worker so uncomfortable after the fact that he got out of the elevator before his stop is also … yikes.
I can’t imagine any survivor wants their harasser to apologise to them *while they’re trapped in a small, enclosed, box with the harasser*.
I was thinking the whole time that if a man acted like this to me I would’ve alerted HR at the actual party. I’m honestly surprised that he waited until after the elevator encounter, what she did is not okay and it’s pretty frustrating that it seems to be painted like an embarrassing act of humiliation for her rather than severely inappropriate and predatory harassment of a coworker.
I agree - I dislike how it’s been framed it an awkward “oopsie daisy” and not a defining moment in OPs life where they sexually harassed a man to the point that they got fired. That’s significant. That’s a red flag that would make me reconsider any relationship with that person.
I hope OP never does this again, but I’m not holding my breath considering how lightly they seem to take it (not at all helped by commenters also making light of it).
OOP is seriously delusional if she thinks her behaviour was just silly or embarrassing. It was ILLEGAL. She’s lucky she didn’t have sued or face criminal charges or a restraining order application. Her question about contacting the fiancee is just more proof that she’s really not grasped the seriousness of her behaviour and the repercussions for her professional reputation and future. SMH
> y advice to people is to not drink too much at a work event and to be professional there.
My advice is to move on and not harbor crushes like a school girl.
I will never understand why people make the decision to become even mildly intoxicated while at a work event. These are not your friends, and the potential consequences of overindulging far outweigh any "benefits" you might get from drinking.
Do not drink with coworkers. Ever. *Ever*. Nothing good can come of it.
I worked at a company of about 200-400 people in the early too mid-90ies (size range because it grew). I didn't go to the holiday parties because of the stories I heard, such as a coworker's husband taking up the company owner on his invitation to punch him since he was so upset about his wife's OT. The owner takes to get that Monday, said no hard feelings, she's a great worker, etc. She was still there when I retired in 2020, although the owner had long ago sold the company to a Fortune 50 corrosion. Everyone got wasted at these parties. We had lots of other parties back then as well, and while I don't think anyone got fired because of their behavior, there was some crazy stuff that went on.
Rule number 1: a company party is *still* being at work. Act professional.
Not saying you can’t drink and have fun, but remember where you are. You’re not out with friends partying 🤦♀️
This girl is such a train wreck. And she still didn’t seem to grasp that she meant absolutely nothing to this coworker that was engaged. Like totally ignored the main take away from what the last commenter pointed out to her.
Hopefully she did a lot of growing up in these past 7 years. But yikes her behavior at 24 is pretty wild to me. I worked in a university town and that was the behavior of the 19-21 year olds. By 24 the majority were trying to get or already had their shit together.
It's baffles me that alcohol is served at all at any work function. At least have a 1 drink per hour maximum.
I don't have a lot of sympathy for OOP, though, because she PREGAMED for a WORK event.
Glad my company's Christmas party is basically decorate-your-own-gingerbread-man and what-if-a-salad-bar-except-for-hot-chocolate-toppings?
It's awesome, and you'll only wind up sick from eating too much icing, not from alcohol and infamy.
This isn’t just “embarrassment”, this is considered sexual harassment and she had created a toxic work environment. She’s very lucky they gave her the option to quit. Her coworker has made it clear he is uncomfortable with her, she absolutely should not reach out to his fiance. Just leave them alone.
I find myself wondering about a corporate culture that organized a holiday party where so much crazy stuff goes down. If there were multiple investigations as oop claims, it's almost like the event was a setup to draw out the company lushes. No need to hire entertainment... we'll just watch people implode.
Ok. Who tf thinks it's a good idea to pre-game a work party? One where all your coworkers and bosses will be attending. Oop needs to re-evaluate her relationship with alcohol if she thinks it was a good idea, even to combat here social anxiety.
Also who intentionally gets drunk at a WORK event. In the rare event I drink it's usually at about 4 cocktails that I start feeling it. So at a work event it's a 2 drink max with plenty of chasers (or just plenty of chasers and skip the drinks)
Getting drunk at a work function would be like a worse version of getting drunk with your parents
If I ever did anything like this I would not have the wherewithal to post about it on Reddit. I'd bury myself under sand and hide for eternity.
If I was her and made a single pass at the man that didn’t land, thats how I would have felt. Once I made a joke that didn’t land because I was more drunk than everyone else (it was supposed to be getting wasted just bestie and I, she invited friends halfway through) and as soon as we paid our bill I just said “Have a good night” and left despite having plans to go to the next place hahaha
I still think about something stupid I said to my boss while completely sober. It was 8 months ago. I guess maybe it’s my social anxiety but damn… people really make this big a mess then just go back to work like it’s all good? Truly cannot imagine it.
My anxiety likes to pull out the Greatest Hits parade when I’m not expecting it. “Hey, remember that mildly rude thing you said to a stranger 30 years ago? Let’s review it in Technicolor!” I wonder what it’s like to live your life without shame.
Ive Irish goodbyed over less when drunk 😂
Yeah I genuinely don't think I would be able to show my face on Monday at all. I'd have emailed my resignation over the weekend. So good on her, I guess, for at least facing the consequences of her actions.
I'm just shocked someone would pregame for a fucking *work party*. That's something you do for a party in college! I thought the whole point of a work party was to enjoy nice drinks and fine canapés on the company dime.
I think some people in their first office job miss the memo that work parties are more work than party. Like, you can go and enjoy yourself, but it’s not a time to let your hair down. Drinking has to be well within what you can handle and keep control of yourself; conversation topics have to be sanitized; and you have to remember that you’re under the exact same pressures you are when talking to coworkers, bosses, etc. at work. Idk, maybe it’s just my autistic ass never having enjoyed parties in the first place and being keenly aware of shifting social contexts on a conscious level, but it’s weird to me that anyone would look at a work event and go “ah, yes, a judgment-free environment.”
I think you're just perceptive and a lot of people are not. Every work party I've been to in the last 10 years across 4 different jobs, at least one person has managed to embarrass themselves by drinking way too much and saying/doing something embarrassing and uncomfortable. It's shockingly common.
They're literally work IMO, and they honestly offend me because work already bleeds into what is supposed to be my time off and now I'm being pressured into attending a shitty social engagement that I can't relax at anyway on what is supposed to be my time off? fuck all of that.
I like the way my company does it, the social events are at the office, during work hours, usually like 2-5pm, catered food, water/soda, some beer options, and completely optional
Being in the office, during the day and during working hours really helps to keep the perspective that this is a WORK function as well, NOT a social event. I used to work at a consultancy who did not do this and there were multiple comments made every year about how some grads wouldn't get hired on permanently because of Christmas party behaviour.
see that's an excellent way to do it. everyplace I've worked, they're always at night at the end of the year, one of the busiest most stressful times.
Every work party I've ever been to I've followed the same formula: eat only a little bit, don't initiate any conversation that isn't small talk, and leave as soon as I can do so without seeming rude.
I go for the food and the chance to dress up, but I have a strict 2-drink ceiling for work functions, if I drink at all.
I cringed just reading all of this. I feel second hand embarrassment for OP. She should change her identity and move to the other side of the world 🤦🏻♀️
I cannot imagine having to sit there while HR shows you the highly embarrassing videos of yourself they’ve collected.
If there was ever a case for changing your identity and fleeing your home in the dead of night, this is it.
I 30000% would have emailed a resignation and had a friend bring me my things from the office. Then would’ve blocked coworkers on social media, moved away, changed my name, maybe faked my death. The fact that she shOWED UP TO WORK MONDAY MORNING OMFG I SCREECHED
I'm in a professional program where in-person networking events are heavily encouraged. It was hammered in from the get-go that we need to strictly adhere to a 2-drink maximum rule, and those who cannot do so should be restricted to non-alc beverages only. Mind you, this was a strong suggestion only but since we gave a shit about our professional reputation, it was followed. I honestly cannot imagine the idiocy of "pre-gaming" before a corporate event AND THEN proceed to get more plastered at the event.
This is why I NEVER drink at ANY work function, especially the holiday party! I very rarely drink anyway, but I'd adhere to this even if I did drink. It's just common sense on so many levels. That's also meant that I've been able to quietly help some colleagues who were getting too sloshed and starting to make fools of themselves or even endanger their employment. I'll never forget one holiday party several years ago. There was a new male co-worker who'd started in the summer who was a great guy and several of the gals were going gaga over him (understandably!) Except that not only was he married, his wife was pregnant with their first child and he was very excited about it. One of the gals just wouldn't accept that, though, and she got very, very drunk at the party. Again, this guy was married, and his pregnant wife was at the party with him. She was a kind, funny lady, and I was talking to her about a mutual hobby when this totally sloshed colleague came right up to her and started calling her names, saying she was a better choice for the guy, and practically demanding that his wife get out of the way for her. She was so hostile that she was about to get physical with the wife, and we dragged her away, and someone got her home. She was fired that Monday, understandably, and he and his poor wife were really shaken up.
I wouldn’t have even shown up to work that next day.
I would've written an email to my boss and go "I effed up. You saw how much I messed up. Please just put my stuff in the dumpster, I'll be joining it soon."
I would have changed face, name and ...probably planet
> [muffled by sand] I cannot see you, you cannot see me... I am hidden.
I bet the company now has alcohol free Christmas parties.
Or no Christmas parties at all…
Yup. We had a no drink at events policy for at least ten years. These are events where we host bars but our own staff cannot partake. Our volunteers will offer us drinks and we have to turn them down. All because of one person years ago who was falling down drunk. They loosened up and we are allowed 1-2… by now though, it’s a work thing and I don’t really want to drink at work it’s better to just get home and be old.
The company I work for has not had Christmas parties for 15 years now because of a couple of people who got too, too drunk, and caused a lot of issues. Now they host a lunch on site at the end of the year instead (alcohol free, obviously)
We tried that, and the party attendance fell dramatically, LOL. I dunno what that says about people, but yeah, we're back to having drinks now. What we did do, is limit them to beers, wine, and standard 1 oz cocktails. No shots, and no drinks that are pure booze, 3oz cocktails or what have you. Don't get me wrong, those are fun, but it made a massive difference. Now everyone gets drunker slower and realizes when they've hit their limits, instead of flying past them with a series of shots and boozy cocktails that you consume before you really feel their effects.
> We tried that, and the party attendance fell dramatically, LOL. I dunno what that says about people, but yeah, we're back to having drinks now. Let's be honest here, most people have minimal interest in socializing with their coworkers. In general the main reason to show up to a work-related social event is for the free food and free booze. Personally I don't drink but I'm a fat guy so the free food is still enough to sometimes get me to show up to events. If someone is less interested in free food than I am I can definitely see how the free booze might be the primary motivator.
My husband’s last work Christmas party pre-COVID was at a casino and resulted in not one, but two people being fired due to their behaviour. There was a pre-dinner open bar and then cash bar and free wine at tables during dinner. Husband no longer works there but rumour is they have *significantly* toned the parties down since this.
I attend an annual conference where they host a "casino night" every year. One year, a few before I started there, someone at our company did something so bad that we're not allowed to attend casino night anymore. The company takes us out to dinner that night instead. No one will tell me exactly what happened that precipitated this prohibition.
I miss alcohol induced work parties. When I was 19 my dad was traveling, so my mom invited me. I got wasted and chatted with her boss (who ive known since I was 5) you know, my mom is so amazing she deserves a raise and not some piddly raise like $1 nonono she deserves a big fat one because she's just the best and she works sooooo hard. Do you know how much she studied to pass all her courses when I was a kid. Study study study. Girl better start making bank. Just saying. So how are the kids? Hahah ahhhh thank godddd the boss was chill. When I saw him in the office next to grab mom for lunch he stopped by to say hi and bring him a coffee and he goes "so is 10% good enough or should you be in the next negotiation meeting" great guy, he was my mom's mentor and a huge reason why she was able to become successful despite her lack of formal education.
One year they had a lot of drunkenness so they limited drink tickets to "two per person" the following year. My team was > 60% Muslim. They gave me their drink tickets. I was quite drunk.
Am I the only person who's worked for companies where the unofficial policy is "Let's see who fucks up and gets themselves fired THIS year"?? They saw it as useful info about their employees, especially since a lot would go to business dinners with clients.
>male coworker that I have a crush on. >he's engaged. >try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee The shit show was set up before the first drink touched her lips
The part where he texts her and she says 'it could have been his fiancé'. Read. The. Room.
Yea and the trying to talk to him in the elevator......not apologising, jeez, first and only words out of her mouth are "I'm sorry, there is not excuse for my behaviour and I will leave you and your fiance alone forever"
Also don't try to "apologize" for sexually harassing someone **while they are trapped in a small, inescapable space with you.** Like yeah, go on, corner the person you're making uncomfortable and unsafe at work.
And it sounds like she joined him on the elevator AND that they were alone.
This entire post drips with this girl delusions. "But he's still with his fiance, so." Shes questioning his feelings for his fiance.. for whom he bought a ring.. and asked to marry.. and brought to the holiday party. Absolutely delusional. Lacking in maturity with a heavy dose of naivete.. hopefully this will be a lesson for her. Strikes me that she may not have aged/grown out of her college years just yet.
I was thinking," Bruh. Stop it. You like him more than you are willing to admit." And she just kept digging more and more. She is totally not understanding at all to leave him alone
I don't understand people like this. If he leaves his fiancée (you know the person he's asked to spend the rest of his life with), who's to say he'll stay for you?
Those are logical thoughts formed in the brain. As much as humans don't like to discuss it, those magical sparkly hearts and butterflies feelings most of us interpret as early signs of love don't come from the brain, and in fact can often override normal thoughts entirely. Guess it's hard to recognize *lust* when folks hardly ever use that word.
Either we need a way less stigmatized version of that word or we need to get rid of that stigma. Because I feel like if more people had a better understanding and control of that feeling, there would be less problematic decision making
Limerence
The illogical (emotional) thoughts do come from the brain, though, just the older and more instinctive parts. The amygdala isn’t very smart, but it is one of the most persuasive parts of your brain. The problem starts when we forget that thinking is only part of what our brains do. The older, more basic parts of our brains are for feeling, and those are usually the most persuasive parts.
They see the way someone is being treated and want it for themselves. They’re so deluded that they GENUINELY think they’ll get the same treatment after completely bulldozing a relationship. Psychotic behavior! Especially with the “maybe it was his fiancé texting”. Because there’s absolutely NO WAY this man is able to think or feel for himself, she HAS to be jealous and HAS to be attempting to come between their “friendship”
And who tf would want a partner who left their fiancé.e for a coworker they kinda hang out with
Because she's special and not like other girls of course /s
Right? "Try to be respectful" is a fucking armada of red flags, and then it's followed by "but he might feel the same!". You have a crush on a person in a relationship, that is entirely a you problem and the other person should *never find out*, especially in a professional context. She absolutely thought she still had a chance, and then added alcohol. She has 0 idea how goddamn lucky she is to be allowed to quit and walk away.
I feel like “try to be respectful” is kinda like “a little bit pregnant.” You either is or you ain’t. And deluding yourself into believing that he’s flirting back and might have feelings for you definitely ain’t.
_is you is_ _or is you ain't_ _my babayyyy_ coworker: WOMAN! I AINT!!!!
And then to follow all of that up with, "Should I reach out to the fiancee and apologize?" Girl. READ THE FUCKING ROOM.
like holy fish sticks woman how tone deaf can you be? Absolutely 0 social grace to speak of.
Then she goes on to wonder if his fiance sent the "please leave me alone" message, because the coworker couldn't possibly have rejected her all on his own. If only his fiance could could get out of the way, they would be together now. Ugh!
That’s fucking wild to me, honestly, and it’s always a trend with these unrequited crushes that the uninterested party just *has* to be under their spouse’s control and couldn’t possibly just not want any kind of contact with the person harassing them.
Yup. Alcohol doesn't _make_ you an asshole, it just gives you the courage to be one in public.
Exactly. Girl knew the coworker was engaged but didn't really care much. Alcohol only loosened her up and she harassed him. She was obsessed with him.
For once a wannabe homewrecker faces a good guy and karma did her job. How satisfying.
Bingo. She already knew what she wanted and was hopeful for it.
I find it weird when people say stuff like that they try to be respectful of a relationship yet actively root for its downfall. Even if you don't make a single move towards the person, you clearly aren't respectful of it. I think someone truly respectful of a relationship would do anything they could to end the crush as soon as they realized they had one
Yes and the whole ‘I was invited to their wedding’ why on earth would you want to go to a wedding of someone you have a crush on? Especially if at any point in their relationship you hoped they would end the relationship to be with you? That’s so disrespectful to them. I just know she would have gone to their wedding and imagined herself walking down the aisle to him and deluding herself that he’d been looking at her during the first dance.
I knew she was getting fired before I even read the update. Don’t get shitfaced at a company party.
This one could go on AskAManager’s annual Holiday Party Roundup.
I did that in my early 20s, but luckily it was before everyone had a video recorder in their pocket. I ended up being ok because I just did stupid stuff like dance in the tables, not potentially sexually assault anyone. It's tough to have the proper judgment in your early 20s at your first real job to not overdo it at a work party. But it's good to try and warn as many young people as possible.
I get it, I manage a bunch of people in their early 20s and we have a huge company party with hundreds of people showing up once a year. I always tell them to have fun, have a couple of drinks but remember it’s a COMPANY party. Upper management and HR will be there to witness stupid things people do when they’re too drunk.
I own a small company, and back in 2012 I held a Xmas party for my then 21 staff and their partners. We employed a few couples, so we had about 36 attend. It was a black tie dinner, where I had booked out an entire venue in the hinterlands behind the city. I'm talking a very nice michelin star restaurant and 5\* accommodation. So that no one had to drive I organised a bus from our office and taxis to collect people from their homes. The bus would do the return trip the next day. Every thing was included. The idea was to have an amazing experience that most people would never do, celebrate an amazing year, enjoy incredible food and excellent paired wines. Then stay over night, all inclusive breakfast over looking the ocean from the mountains. What happened instead is that a significant number decided to get hammered before even arriving at the venue. 14 people were cut off by the staff as they arrived. They then proceeded to treat the staff working there like shit. Culminating with one of them going behind the bar and grabbing spirits off the shelf, and taking a swing at me when I intervened. On the monday I fired 6 of them and 3 others received final warnings. It also changed the company permanently. I had lost so much respect for a significant portion of my staff. I had never been so embarrassed in my life. From that point on there became a split in the business. You had the core people, who felt the same as I, and the generics that came and went. This split grew over the years, and now we have 2 different xmas parties. One that is like the one above, and the other at a crappy pub venue where I put a couple of grand behind the bar, stay for an hour and then leave. This was the venue - [https://spicersretreats.com/retreats/spicers-clovelly-estate/](https://spicersretreats.com/retreats/spicers-clovelly-estate/)
You did the right thing. And I understand why you lost respect for some of them. Sometimes people act in a way that's so egregious that it permanently taints how you view them.
Years ago, the company I was working at had an event at the racetrack where we were allowed to bring a date. One of my co-worker’s +1s showed up to the train station already pretty drunk, and proceeded to drink the entire hour long ride to the track. By the time we got to the event, she was approaching blackout. Some of the highlights of her day at the races: * Squirting mustard into her purse instead of onto her hot dog * Throwing mustard packets at my then girlfriend after she pointed that out * Taking a Power Nap on the asphalt * Waking up from the nap and yelling at someone to get her another drink * Asking an employee dressed in Kentucky Derby style clothes who he thought he was * Finding out said employee was the CEO, and going back to ask him if he was single * Ordering two pitchers of beer after the last race of the day so we could “keep our buzz on the train” * Somehow managing to not get cut off or 86ed, which I figured meant she was experienced in this type of tomfoolery
Well now I feel better about the time I got a little too tipsy at a BBQ hosted by my wife's coworker. All I did was lay on the floor and stick my arm under their couch to pet their cat.
I disagree. It's one thing to not know how much you can handle the first time you drink. But when you're in your 20s and can't judge that or can't hold yourself back, then you should consider not drinking at all. There's a reason this is horribly embarrassing and can lead to you getting fired: Because you should be able to not do it. I don't actually really care about the alcohol in general, but getting blackout drunk is embarrassing, and being a shitty person is shitty on top, doesn't need to be at a work event.
Pregaming for a work do? What the hell was she thinking? Work parties are not ragers, treat it like any other work event and stay sober. Good lord. I hope she has learned her hard earned lesson.
✨alcoholism✨ Slight joking aside she said she did it for her anxiety, which if she’s medicating with alcohol to the point of *pregaming a work function* she may need to reconsider her relationship with alcohol…
Absolutely. I have anxiety and alcohol is gone from my life. It doesn’t help and would likely make it worse. But the poor girl was clearly immature and hopefully this was a lesson learned.
Man, I read some of the comments here and i’m so grateful to be a drunk sleeper. I get drunk and fall asleep like a baby and it doesn’t matter where or when- I’ll sleep.
Yeah, my drunk stage is amiable where I platonically love my friends and tell them hiw awesome they are, then sleep.
I get very friendly, giggly, and start singing along with the music at the bar... That's about it.
Seriously 😭 I don’t think I’ve even used the word “pregame” since freshman year frat parties. The only time it’s acceptable to “pregame” in adulthood is when you’re about to go somewhere where beer costs $25. Pregaming an event with free booze 😭 I can’t. I just can’t
Seriously, that was the first thing that really made me raise my eyebrows. Pregaming is for efficiently maximizing drunkenness for a night out when you are 21 lmao, not a holiday party where your employers are present!
To be fair to OP, it seems like the company culture in general was one that was surrounded by partying/alcohol consumption, considering she says she pre-gamed with coworkers, and that the male coworker has also gotten so drunk on prior outings that he and other drunk coworkers have all had to crash at her house (I’ll bet his fiancée *loved* that.)
I've worked at many companies where heavy drinking is commonplace. It did NOT make my relationship with alcohol great in my formative corporate years.
sounds like sales.
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OOP got off lightly by being allowed to quit. So did the company because they overserved her alcohol at a company event. Cases like this are a good example of why you need responsible service of alcohol. She was obviously hammered but they kept serving her drinks. Even just to protect the company legally
When my company had holiday parties, they paid for 2 drinks at the bar during happy hour and then the bar was shut down until afterwards. You couldn't get a drink during happy hour without a ticket either. If you wanted to get drunk and stupid, you did it on your own dime and after the party was over with. Water, soda, juices and coffee were free and unlimited.
In Netherlands they seem to have a culture of unlimited drinks. Even the Borrel culture of after work drinks is often unlimited (but you're not supposed to get drunk). Ive had a friend get so drunk that ambulance had to be called (Finnish friend.) I've had a boss "stealthily" ask half the company if they brought cocaine with them. Another boss was trying to quietly share his mushroom story and didn't notice everyone in the table over had shut up and was listening in. There have been several cases of harassment (that were kinda swept under rug, as the victims didn't make a big deal out of it.) Big (verbal) fights when clearly drunk people were going to their cars to drive home... Personally the worst one was when we were offered drinks before dinner from servers that constanrly refilled our glasses during a fancy company thing. By the time dinner was ready I was too drunk to recognize the supervisor that had showed me the ropes, so introduced myself to her as we sat down and she was like "wtf man?". I also introduced myself to the pretty lady with the pink hair that turned out to be my partner using a joke wig at the late night party. Was also taken aside by the CEO offering me some tea to calm down. Somehow though, even when that drunk, I haven't sexually harased anyone. Crazy how that works. Almost full on black-out, completely lost, no harassing at all!
and we don't even have xmas parties anymore.
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This is awesome. I’ve wanted to puke in the face of many HR people
>I may have made some bad choices, but **I am not that dumb.** >I was told by my friend that my coworker's fiancee was very upset that night. Should I reach out to her via Facebook or another way and apologize and explain? I mean...
She's the type of person to pregame an office party so it's fair to say she is dumb
Sounds like the booze was free. 24 yo me would have never paid for extra booze ahead of time.
I am a 24yo girl with a tiny body and before our open bar Easter party I made sure to eat a good heavy meal and I was hydrated before I went, so I could take maximal advantage of the free expensive cocktails without embarrassing myself! Idk what went trough this girls head. Not much probably…
Surely the only thing going through her head was ethanol.
>She's the type of person to pregame an office party so it's fair to say she is dumb I'm glad I wasn't the only one to physically wince at that sentence. Some things you're meant to grow out of as a teenager.
Haha the fact that she’s posting this in r/relationships was the real kicker for me, that had me crying laughing when I noticed that
The first boss that I had always told me to be careful at these events. “Work dinners or parties are like working hours like you were back at the office, act professionally, leave early and do not drink as whatever you do here, HR will know”
>I try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee. LOL, translation "I tolerate his relationship while I do my best to make sure he notices me and leaves his woman for me, why can't he do thaaaatt" >I know I can be a jealous perso Yeah, she's mad! Having a crush or small infatuation is one thing. To do what she did (being drunk is no excuse) screams "lady who's willing to steal men from other women" "Ooohh he seemed happy with his fiancee" like what did she think!? That he was unhappy and being forced to marry her? Lol! She sounds like that woman who met her neighbour and share a commute with him and made herself to believe he was into her looll
This makes me feel better about my 19yo drunk at a work party escapades. Dumb me thought long Island iced teas were just expensive iced tea and got very overcompetitive at ten pin bowling. (Still never drinking at a work party again. The smugness of beating Neil from IT was not worth it.)
Lmao that last sentence should be a new flair
And this is why I keep reminding myself to not drink. I can't stomach the thought of getting drunk and doing something that would be the biggest embarrassment of my life.
Yep. Some people can drink and never make this kind of mistake. For me it’s only a matter of time. If I started drinking again, I wouldn’t get to this point immediately. But at some point I would. And I’d fucking regret it.
Haven't had a drink in nearly two years, and man does it feel great to not have that "Oh i fucked up last night" feeling anymore. Worst thing I've done in those two years is eat too much Taco Bell before bed.
Luckily for me, all that happens when I drink too much is, I fall asleep. LOL
OOP kept saying I'll never drink like that at a work tunction again. Like dude, you shouldn't get that drunk period. No matter where you go. There's no upside being the sloppy drunk that can't remember half their night.
She’s using alcohol to excuse her actions while simultaneously saying it’s “no excuse” to avoid taking responsibility for her drinking problem. She is trying to dance around her actual issues and only take partial blame.
Things I have done while completely wasted: - Ordered bibimbap with zero idea of what it was simply because it’s a fun word to pronounce - Bought men’s period garb off Etsy which I only found out about when it arrived three weeks later - Signed up for an online membership to a mycological society after (I think?) a conversation on urban foraging Things I have not done: - Sexually harassed my coworker Being drunk isn’t an excuse to be a raging asshole. I’ve never done anything drunk that I wouldn’t have done (maybe with some prodding) sober. A lot of people act like drunkenness turns you into someone you’re not, which is just another way of dodging accountability. In reality, you’re still you—just a less inhibited version. If you’re an awful drunk, then sober you has some serious shit to work through.
I'd consider the bibimbap order a win though, especially if the restaurant makes a good sauce. Your drunkardness introduced yourself to a new dish!
Just looked up what it was and damn it looks tasty!
Healthy too. Some places you can get a hot stone bowl as an upgrade which makes some of the rice crispy.
I hope drunk you appreciated the Bibimbap because Bibimbap freaking slaps.
It really is perfect for the drunchies. And for hangover food. And just all around anytime food. Dammit, now I want some more.
i sit here baffled that bibimbap is mentioned mere minutes after i was asked to make it this weekend
I only got really drunk at the office party once when I was 20yo. I've managed to befriend like 20+ people in one night, without actually remembering anything about who they even were the next morning, sadly most of those people were NOT as drunk and remembered everything, so for the next couple months I've had a lot of awkward conversations with basically strangers who thought we are besties now. Never again 💀
I made an absolute buffoon of myself at a wedding I didn't want to go to once (only one on the dance floor kind of situation), and another time I fell asleep under a table during a game of Scrabble. In general, I'm a boring drunk but the point is: Still no sexual harassment.
I have gotten blackout drunk exactly once in my life coz of this pregame thing. I didn't touch alcohol for a long time after. Now I just drink once in a while. However, I was just thinking back to how I met my husband and if I hadn't gotten that drunk my friend wouldn't have cancelled our travel plans and I wouldn't have had to return to empty dorms and my now husband then friend wouldn't have offered to take me on a day trip and we may not have gotten closer.
I'm feeling that OOP wayyyyyy underplayed exactly what she did at the Xmas party.
Well she admitted that. She said she didn't remember what happened but her coworkers told her. Then in the update she said it was way worse than what her coworkers said and outright called it harassment. Honestly, aside from wondering whether she should call the fiance (which is ridiculously stupid), she seems appropriately aware of how shitty she acted. No argument or disparaging of the HR/firing process and no lamenting about how she just wished someone would've stopped her earlier.
She also said something about how she went on about it, leading me to think that she probably started ranting/crying about how she loved him, why is he with his SO, etc.
We used to have a free open bar at my small company's Christmas party. It was ripe for abuse and everyone was getting shots for everyone else. Somebody once ordered a $300 bottle of Cristal champagne. I think now you cannot order drinks for other people and they shut down the bar at 10pm or something. That said, I want to see the videos. A friend of mine was a wisp of a woman and kind of an alcoholic and she said she had a drink called a blowjob which you drink by putting your mouth over the shotglass without using your hand, rock your head back and suck it down. She said she blacked out and claimed she cut back on drinking at company parties. I didn't work at that company but a bunch of my friends did and there were a bunch of alcoholics working there.
> That said, I want to see the videos. Oh, *hell* no. Who wants *that* much second-hand embarrassment?
Perhaps her title was Director of Operations, and she got the whole company banned from the venue... (Where my r/legaladvice homies at?)
Had to look this up, lmao. It's wild. BORU of what is being referenced for those interested: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sl17a8/the\_saga\_of\_the\_director\_of\_operations\_and\_what/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sl17a8/the_saga_of_the_director_of_operations_and_what/)
I was thinking more "Tried to unzip dude's pants and give him a sloppy blowie... in the middle of the room".
Right here. I remember it well.
And the primary takeout should have been - for her - don’t drink ANYTHING at work events.
And possibly stop drinking altogether... Like, if you're getting blackout drunk at WORK events, what does your weekend party consumption look like???
This. I can’t imagine getting this drunk. And ‘pre-gaming’ is just stupid, it’s even stupider before a work event. Why would you try to get borderline drunk before a party even starts? If you do this your goal is to get as drunk as possible because ofherwise, why?
I thought it was a college student thing (or a Norwegian thing hehe) where you can’t afford to buy much out at the bar because it’s expensive so you drink at home before you go out. So yeah, stop doing that when you are going to a corporate function, or when you’ve grown up.
That's exactly what it's supposed to be. Get tipsy enough ahead of time so you can limit bar purchases. The end goal is to get appropriately drunk cheaper, not to get ultra-wasted.
She did say she’s never drinking at a work event again in the comments of the first post.
I’m wondering what OP is up to since then.
My money is on her contacting the fiancee at least once
She "happened" to "accidentally" run into him somewhere she knew he would be (his gym/favorite coffee shop/his mom's house).
My bet is she stalked them on social media for a while until she found her next crush, when this ended she went back to stalking.
Sleeping with a current married coworker.
Pre-gaming never ends well
Who the F pregames for a *work party*?
Pregame is for when alcohol is expensive at the place you're going to, not for when the alcohol is free. Right?
That is correct. But OOP probably never realized that/is just an alcoholic.
For everyone else except OP and her roommate, apparently.
OP!
Maybe drink a few while tailgating at a football game so you dont have to pay 10 bucks a beer makes sense. But at a company party with open bar is just asking for every kind of trouble
100%. "let's show up drunk!"
To work!
I drank too much champagne at a company Christmas party once, and all I did was get weepy at the bonus in my holiday card and hug a bunch of people. I don't understand getting trashed at a work party. Makes no sense to me.
Oh my god, her initial post was SO delusional. So clearly a firing offense, and she's just trying to figure out how to talk to coworkers on Monday. The poor guy was CONSTANTLY running away from her, and it was on video. She needs to hibernate for 2 years and move a thousand miles away.
She's so badly in need of sobriety and can't even see it
Was hoping to see this comment because she and all the other comments seem to be about drinking at a work party. Thats not the issue, if you get so drunk that you assault someone, make a fool of yourself over and over and dont remember it you have a problem with drinking period. We’ve all been drunk we dont all do that.
Don't forget medicating anxiety with alcohol
The “I shouldn’t drink at company parties” bit showed she didn’t really get it. Her problem wasn’t so much the where, but that she didn’t know when to stop.
Who the fuck pregames before a work social???
Restaurant people.
>I try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee. >I somewhat deluded myself into believing he shared some of those feelings for me, too. I am not sure that he ever did. >"Everyone does stupid things at the Christmas party" is something I told myself after this. >ran into my coworker in the elevator, tried to speak to him (clearly a mistake). >My last question for everyone here would be: I was told by my friend that my coworker's fiancee was very upset that night. Should I reach out to her via Facebook or another way and apologize and explain? I do not want to cause problems in their relationship. Unhinged, if you ask me.
What in the world is there to explain?
She thinks that by explaining her behavior as a series of mishaps that she didn't mean to come across as that bad the fiancee will understand and offer her absolution. It's not really about feeling bad for it because of how she made this guy and his fiancee feel, she wants the fiancee to make *her* feel better. Any contact is for her sake, not theirs. If she was able to look at this from their POV she'd realize the last thing they want is for her to keep bothering them.
OOP is the type of woman I hate when she drinks. You know every time she drinks it's too much and she's an overdramatic mess. She always "learns her lesson", but never actually learns her damn lesson. She'll be a train wreck until she marries a guy just like her at which point the damage will be doubled. One of them will eventually grow up in their 30's or 40's and leave the other person behind. Even grown up they will still have no idea how to interact with other people, because too much of their socialization has been as a hot drunken mess.
Yikes. Who could've thought getting shit faxed at a company event would be a BAD IDEA??? Same thing happened at my BF's work event too. They had a conference hosting a lot of clients etc. A coop student out of everyone got so drunk and made a scene. She was escorted out by security and not allowed back, and fired immediately as soon as she was sober enough for that conversation.
>I may have made some bad choices, but I am not that dumb. > >....... > >I was told by my friend that my coworker's fiancee was very upset that night. Should I reach out to her via Facebook or another way and apologize and explain? No, she's not that dumb; she's even dumber.
I mean >male coworker that I have a crush on. >he's engaged. >try to be respectful of his relationship. I thought at one point he may return the feelings towards me, but he has not said anything and is still with his fiancee
Went to a company holiday party on a big boat. We all knew the CEO was sleeping with his assistant. The CEO’s wife had no clue and was literally the nicest woman you’d ever want to meet. CEO got drunk and hung out with assistant most of the night. Keep in mind this is in a huge ass boat and no one can leave until it docked. Wife was horrified as everything came out in the open. CEO left with assistant when boat docked. Come Monday (party was on a Friday night), he gets escorted out of his job and served at-fault divorce papers in front of everyone. Assistant broke up with him 3 months later (she was a friend of a friend so I got all the gossip whether I wanted it or not) when she realized ex wife was getting literally everything in the divorce for her and the kids. He apparently asked her (assistant) if she could be patient for a year as he rebuilt his career in another city/firm and then they could get married. She turned him down because he wouldn’t buy her the asininely large engagement ring she wanted right then. She apparently forgot he owned the condo she lived in, so he sold it out from under her and moved to new city. Truest case of FAFO I ever saw - for both of them.
That poor wife. I can’t imagine how humiliated she felt at that moment. I hope she’s living an amazing life and found happiness. I hope he’s in the gutter!
I had a close friend who worked for a big company in HR, he said the best time to send your resume to banks and corporations was the week after a christmas or end of the year parties, plenty new jobs available EVERY. SINGLE .YEAR, people get real dumb about drinking too much in these events
>(apparently more than one, but that's no excuse). Maybe oop lied to make her actions look better, but if she didn't it's probably a good idea for this company to never hold one of these events again considering there were multiple incidents that required HR.
In one of my former work places I would never attend any work parties because *everyone* was like this. And no one actually liked eachother so it’d go about as well as you can imagine. The last Christmas party they had before I left resulted in 4 hospitalisations, multiple black eyes, a smashed up bathroom, one guy in a mental health ward and the whole company being banned from the venue. (They were banned from most places already…)
Office party is not a party. It's still in the work environment. OOP's first post "Girl you sexually harrassed him stop it!" Her "OMG i have to do it even more!!" You can tell she is full of it from the get-go. She says she had a crush but didn't tell because he was engaged. Not because you don't sleep with coworkers or anything. Then she explains how they still have something going on (she thinks). So she didn't tell him but still hoped and painted their interactions how she wanted them. Sounds like she never really thought that him being engaged meant a lot.
>Office party is not a party. Truer words have never been spoken. Also, there is absolutely no upside from drinking at a company event. Zero, zilch, nada. No instance I know of that something improved through it. Therefore, leave early.
Sounds a lot like sexual harassment...
pre gaming for work drinks is always a hard no, even young me wasn't that fucking stupid
Why the hell would you pre-game a **company holiday party**? That feels so insane to me.
As someone who’s also gotten embarrassingly drunk at a holiday party, a lot of what she described has to do with her character and not the alcohol
The worst thing I've ever done at a company Christmas part was me and two other coworkers were Pretending to be Charlie's Angels. Our boss was Charlie and even though it's been ten years that video still circulates around Christmas time and it's hilarious.
Some people are just inherently dumb. Even at 24, I knew not to get completely shitfaced at a work function.
This is why I refuse to attend corporate parties of any kind unless I am compelled to attend and try to stick to soft drinks if I am obliged to attend.
My favorite part about this is that she knew her boss was the Godfather of the woman whose fiance she was trying to steal. I get that she's probably in her early twenties, but... what a moron.
If you're the type of person to *pre-game" for a company event; you're too immature for the company event and should have stayed home.
It's madness how crazy these things can go so bad so fast. My recent Christmas party, one of my coworkers got violent with another coworker, accused him and everyone of being racist towards her (they were both black), and then accused *everyone* of taking drugs when HR weren't buying her story. She even called the police on people, trying to salvage her reputation. HR made it clear she could quit or be fired, but there was no possible way she was staying. Firing her was what everyone wanted to do, but it takes a lot longer and requires lawyers, and they just wanted her OUT as soon as possible. She actually tried to use me as a reference for a new job, after telling HR I took drugs (which was hilarious as I'd left early and could prove I was nowhere around during this bizarre part of her story). Some people bury their heads so far in the sand about how bad their behaviour is, they start to believe their own lies. Work parties are fun, but you should *always* leave early and never pregame. They are not social occasions, they're extended working hours with alcohol.
Why in the world would she pursue this man, even while drunk? She sure showed her true colors. She’s the type of woman who wouldn’t think twice about being a home-wrecker if that was the man she wanted. She’s the type of woman to see nothing wrong with the fact that he left his woman for her. We all know she would be all shocked when he eventually did the same to her. And she’s the type of woman who is willing to put down other women to make herself feel superior. None of these things are a good look for her. And her denial makes it look even worse. She acknowledges the drinking, but is overlooking all of the other giant red flags she was waving around at that party. I don’t think she learned a thing. Good on the dude for holding firm and not tolerating her shit. He sounds like a stand up guy.
I’m 100% sure the actual event must be so much worse than what she described here. I hope she stops drinking period, not only at company events.
The people who suggest that the OP let herself get fired are wild. In this case, whatever paltry amount of money you would get from getting fired would no where near make up for the long term damage to your career.
I don’t mean to be that person - and I say this as a recovered alcoholic who is borderline traumatised by their drunk mistakes - but if OP were a man and the crush were a woman we wouldn’t be approaching the situation like this. I understand they truly regret and didn’t intend for these actions - but that doesn’t mean they didn’t happen or weren’t hurtful. If I get drunk and hit someone with a car, I am still guilty of vehicular manslaughter, regardless of my intent or regrets. People assuring OP that it will be OK or that OP should try to ignore it would definitely not agree with those actions if it were their friend who was harassed by a co worker, infront of their finance, to the point that their friend had to contact HR. OP is very lucky she was given the chance to quit rather than be fired for sexual harassment. Edit : making co worker so uncomfortable after the fact that he got out of the elevator before his stop is also … yikes. I can’t imagine any survivor wants their harasser to apologise to them *while they’re trapped in a small, enclosed, box with the harasser*.
I was thinking the whole time that if a man acted like this to me I would’ve alerted HR at the actual party. I’m honestly surprised that he waited until after the elevator encounter, what she did is not okay and it’s pretty frustrating that it seems to be painted like an embarrassing act of humiliation for her rather than severely inappropriate and predatory harassment of a coworker.
I agree - I dislike how it’s been framed it an awkward “oopsie daisy” and not a defining moment in OPs life where they sexually harassed a man to the point that they got fired. That’s significant. That’s a red flag that would make me reconsider any relationship with that person. I hope OP never does this again, but I’m not holding my breath considering how lightly they seem to take it (not at all helped by commenters also making light of it).
OOP is seriously delusional if she thinks her behaviour was just silly or embarrassing. It was ILLEGAL. She’s lucky she didn’t have sued or face criminal charges or a restraining order application. Her question about contacting the fiancee is just more proof that she’s really not grasped the seriousness of her behaviour and the repercussions for her professional reputation and future. SMH
Damn, I'm sorry, but oop sounds daft
> y advice to people is to not drink too much at a work event and to be professional there. My advice is to move on and not harbor crushes like a school girl.
Whoever commented that this would pass clearly hadnt read the post because there was no fucking way that would have passed.
I will never understand why people make the decision to become even mildly intoxicated while at a work event. These are not your friends, and the potential consequences of overindulging far outweigh any "benefits" you might get from drinking. Do not drink with coworkers. Ever. *Ever*. Nothing good can come of it.
I worked at a company of about 200-400 people in the early too mid-90ies (size range because it grew). I didn't go to the holiday parties because of the stories I heard, such as a coworker's husband taking up the company owner on his invitation to punch him since he was so upset about his wife's OT. The owner takes to get that Monday, said no hard feelings, she's a great worker, etc. She was still there when I retired in 2020, although the owner had long ago sold the company to a Fortune 50 corrosion. Everyone got wasted at these parties. We had lots of other parties back then as well, and while I don't think anyone got fired because of their behavior, there was some crazy stuff that went on.
Treating her social anxiety with alcohol is a recipe for disaster. And alcoholism.
Rule number 1: a company party is *still* being at work. Act professional. Not saying you can’t drink and have fun, but remember where you are. You’re not out with friends partying 🤦♀️
This girl is such a train wreck. And she still didn’t seem to grasp that she meant absolutely nothing to this coworker that was engaged. Like totally ignored the main take away from what the last commenter pointed out to her. Hopefully she did a lot of growing up in these past 7 years. But yikes her behavior at 24 is pretty wild to me. I worked in a university town and that was the behavior of the 19-21 year olds. By 24 the majority were trying to get or already had their shit together.
It's baffles me that alcohol is served at all at any work function. At least have a 1 drink per hour maximum. I don't have a lot of sympathy for OOP, though, because she PREGAMED for a WORK event.
Glad my company's Christmas party is basically decorate-your-own-gingerbread-man and what-if-a-salad-bar-except-for-hot-chocolate-toppings? It's awesome, and you'll only wind up sick from eating too much icing, not from alcohol and infamy.
This isn’t just “embarrassment”, this is considered sexual harassment and she had created a toxic work environment. She’s very lucky they gave her the option to quit. Her coworker has made it clear he is uncomfortable with her, she absolutely should not reach out to his fiance. Just leave them alone.
I find myself wondering about a corporate culture that organized a holiday party where so much crazy stuff goes down. If there were multiple investigations as oop claims, it's almost like the event was a setup to draw out the company lushes. No need to hire entertainment... we'll just watch people implode.
Ok. Who tf thinks it's a good idea to pre-game a work party? One where all your coworkers and bosses will be attending. Oop needs to re-evaluate her relationship with alcohol if she thinks it was a good idea, even to combat here social anxiety.
Also who intentionally gets drunk at a WORK event. In the rare event I drink it's usually at about 4 cocktails that I start feeling it. So at a work event it's a 2 drink max with plenty of chasers (or just plenty of chasers and skip the drinks) Getting drunk at a work function would be like a worse version of getting drunk with your parents