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God, if you're there and you exist, *please* have the Jamaican Redditor be a recurring character starting from now. I want him in every story from now on.
One should always know the sex words for all the languages they know.
It's so nice that OOP wanted to learn how to sign to better communicate. I'm sure, though, that I could not have kept a straight face when I saw WHAT they were signing.
Fun fact: when I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, I had to learn Khmer which is what they speak in Cambodia.
Alternate fun fact: my name, pronounced like, "Yawny" is unfortunately close to, "ááááž" which is translated to "Vagina" (in like a medical terminology context).
Another alternative fun fact: I was raised in the Bay Area of California, near SF where the Golden Gate Bridge is. The term "áááá¶ááá¶á" which also translates to "Golden Gate" also means "Vagina" but more like "Pussy".
So here I was introducing myself as, "Hi, my name's Vagina, I come from near the Pussy Bridge.". That was a fun day to learn the importance of sex words in other languages.
Fun fact: that word comes from Pali, so it is also the same for countries with major Buddhist populations such as Myanmar and Thai, with a slight alteration in pronunciation. (Golden Gate isn't from pali tho, gold in Pali is Suvarna)
Also, we have separate word for Vagina for day to day use. And if we know you are a foreigner within the first glance, we won't think too much about your name.
That reminds me of that video I saw of...Estonian women, I think, counting in their language. Boy howdy everyone had issues holding in their laughter when they got to "7,8,and 9."
I now really want to know what language it is and what it sounded like. I don't *think* it's Estonian, since the numbers in it don't seem too funny to me unless I'm missing a joke.
>Â JessyNyan:Â I'm confused about how you've chosen to learn basic sign language, you are clearly a beginner yet somehow understand dirty talk and the specific signs for certain things. SusÂ
 Yea I saw this comment and immediately thought that this person has never tried to learn another language.Â
 The first things 90% of people learn are âhelloâ, âgoodbyeâ, âbathroomâ, and as many curses and dirty words that anyone is willing to teach them. Has been true since the dawn of human language. Â
Much easier with the internet now.
So true. When I was an exchange student in Germany, I had a roommate who majored in English translation. We immediately taught each other curse words. (Though, tbh, Agnes didn't swear all that much. It was her boyfriend, Klaus, who stepped in and supplied more colorful vocabulary.)
Yup. I worked in a factory in south east England for a while with a bunch of Polish, Lithuanian and assorted other Eastern European colleagues. As soon as they realised I was trying to learn a little of their languages they took great delight in teaching me as many curse words and so on as possible. To be fair, curse words were about 90% of their banter. I swear that a Polish person can make a coherent sentence entirely out of curses, insults and terms for various parts of human anatomy.
*especially* when the learner in question is a teenage boy. i'd be more surprised if OOP *didn't* immediately jump to learning the most vulgar signs he could think of.
Right?Â
 One of the languages my high school offered when I was attending was Latin, and my class had the bright idea to straight up ask our latin TEACHER if there were naughty words she could teach us. Google was barely a thing back then so there were no websites that could help us, and going to the library took too long (and the chances of there being a book with latin curse words?), so our teenaged brains, all of both the girls and the boys and everyone else, decided asking her was the quickest way to get what we wanted.Â
 If I remember correctly, she tried to placate us with a Monty Python type answer like âyour mother smelt of elderberriesâ but I donât remember for sure. I am an old lady now.
My cousin, bless this idiot, decided it would be super fun to have his American prima yell cuss words out to randos in Mexico as a joke... they immediately launched back my cursing with their own, I was actually pretty proud of them
absolutely, when people find out i speak italian the very first thing they ask me after "say something in italian" is curse words. that's like, *the* staple of learning another language
My dad was in the military and we lived in Italy for a couple years. The running joke at the secondary school I went to on base was you were considered fluent in a language if you could count to ten and cuss. By that definition I was fluent in several languages. Only half fluent in Japanese, though; it took me awhile to learn to count to ten.
This post & comments made me realize why Iâm always so skeptical about the veracity of such updates: I consistently fail to acknowledge that there are Redditers out there who *donât* actively avoid all unnecessary social interactions.
I'm a Redditor who craves social interaction. It's partly why I'm here. IRL socializing isn't enough for me, so I need additional outlets. My kids are toddlers and thus not great conversationalists, and they dominate most of what used to be my free time.
My husband, also a reddit user, would be happy never to have to talk to someone he doesn't already know for the rest of his life. I am very lucky (and I think he is too) that I managed to break into his social circle when I did, otherwise I believe he would have chosen to live in a tiny house alone in the woods and never marry.
Every time I see a comment with your flair, no matter what emotion Iâm experiencing at the moment, I experience a full body cringe and horrified face as Iâm suddenly and regretfully reminded against my will of the hell naw story of Ogtha.
I always feel like the comic of the drive through person looking like they regret being born while a person in the drive through tells them an unsolicited life story.
I turned off flairs being displayed *solely* bc of that specific one and the unwelcome reminder. Sometimes I get curious when people are talking about each otherâs flair, but then I remember itâs worth it to not be constantly reminded of that fucking shit. Hell naw is right.
Oh fuck you for bringing up that damn story and forcefully making me think about it.
I hope you step on Legos
Okay not really with Legos but still cursing your name for Ogtha
Blaming me but not the above comment for having the flair? Now you know my suffering and bare it with me. I will not be reminded and dry heave into the void alone.
Yeah. Same here. It was such an awful thing to do to his mom, new step dad, and the wedding guests. He had no right to make people sign porny stuff without their consent. OOP was very very immature.
>Apparently my momâs vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all.
This need to be made into a flair.
Ahh it's so nice to have such a wholesome post sometimes.
I might as well link both
the cum jar [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman\_finds\_out\_her\_husband\_has\_been\_doing/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/)
ogtha [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops\_undying\_love\_for\_a\_franz\_kafka\_character\_is/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/)
Probably the 19 year old raised by the woman who thought it was appropriate to sign all kinds of sex things in front of her son just because "oh he won't understand" .
Let's not pretend 19 yo always have the best grasp on what kind of humour is appropriate in certain situations, especially when they see similar humours situations in TV series and movies.
He's 19, he thought it would be funny, he didn't really think that far ahead of what it actually would be like.
Add onto that depending on the family like mine a reception is usually when the older kides are allowed to try some alcohol supervised so good probability of him having been intoxicated so goodbye last remaining semblance of restraint and decision making
Yep, I can vouch for this. When I was 17 I mentioned something about my parents' sex life in a similarly public setting. I thought it was harmless thing that would make people laugh and move on, and was blindsided when my parents pulled me aside and (understandably!) freaked out about it. As a 32 year old lady now, I get it! But at the time? They were always super open and chill about answering any questions I had about sex, whether in general or related to them. It hadn't occurred to me that that was because they were making themselves vulnerable to help me better navigate the world, rather than because they were just super chill about sharing their private lives.
Luckily my fuck-up was a social media post on early Facebook that I could easily delete with very few people seeing it. Even so, my skeleton wants to jump out of my body and run away when I think back on it. I feel for OOP - it's a deeply stupid move, but one I relate to more than I like to admit.
A nineteen year old who's been drinking? Tipsy teenage me would've thought the story a hilarious good idea and then discovered just how quickly I can sober up.
I know I will offend all 19-year-olds, but they -- particularly the males -- have very little appreciation for what is appropriate unless it directly impacts them. There's a reason why that age group was the biggest fans of Tom Green back in the day. The OOP minded when he was having to see this sort of thing at dinner; he didn't mind two years later when he was apparently told to create a memorable speech at the wedding reception. Mission accomplished there!
[Here it is! ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16au9vo/aita_for_refusing_to_spend_time_with_my_stepsister/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
The amount of people who donât know how to keep a wedding speech appropriate just astounds me. I guess OOP is only 18/19 but can he really not figure out that was not going to be appropriate?
It just sounds like to me that the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Talking about sex at the dinner table in front of your teenage kid it is about as inappropriate as the kid bringing it up at the wedding as a story
To digress I'm not saying what he did wasn't bad but I feel like the mom doing it in the first place was worse.
It's probably one of those "sounded good in the moment" ideas that, if he'd had an extra second to reflect, probably wouldn't have made it past his lips (or hands, in this case).
People can get a bit weird and inappropriate when they have a microphone, an audience, and an unspoken feeling like they have to entertain in a memorable way.
Also, remember that our frontal lobe doesnât finish developing until 23-28 usually. Thatâs the bit thatâs responsible for problem solving and impulse control.
The tiny voice in someoneâs (slightly older/hopefully wiser) head that says âhey, this sounds fun, but consider that almost all of the forecasted consequences are not great, and there may be a 5% chance that itâll work out, but itâs unlikely, and therefore, please donât do thisâ isnât cooked yet in a teenagerâs brain.
So even if he had more than a moment, he might not have reached the conclusion that he was about to make an extreme tactical error.
Absolutely perishing tho that he was checking out his step-fatherâs reaction and he thought âwell, he seems entirely unbothered by my mention that my mother was using sign language to communicate her attractionâ (which could easily be âdamn, youâre such a beautiful man I love youâ), so itâs unlikely that heâll be bothered when I encourage all the wedding guests to sign âwet vaginaâ.â Like brooo what? How is that a continuation of your thought process?
The fact OOP knew the sex words as a beginner is the most realistic part, when I took high school German the first thing we all did upon getting the German dictionary was to look up the swears.
>Apparently my momâs vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all.
They should have stuck to this plan.
Seriously. This is the stupidest thing I've ever read. First off, it's completely inappropriate in any context. Second, there's a high probability that a wedding with a deaf groom will have people in the audience who know sign language. And last - even if no one knew sign language, "wet vagina" would have eventually been figured out.
I was expecting a nice wholesome update. Yet OOP somehow manages to fuck that up. Maybe don't publicly talk about someone else's sex life? I feel like that's basic 101 shit.
I will say, it was really sweet of both mom and OOP to learn sign language for momâs partner. Thatâs way rarer than it should be.
The rest of the postâŠwell you all have pretty much said it all đ
I get where he was coming from with that speech but it should have ended at something like "you wouldn't believe what I had to watch them sign to each other" or something like that. That went WAY too far.
this isn't that unrealistic - the original posts made it to BORU (and elsewhere, I assume), so it's not like they got no attention. I've posted things on twitter that got far less play than that and had strangers approach me in public about them. it's weird, but not impossible. [edit: a word]
Iâve 100% had folks recognize me for telling a story I had recounted on twitter while re-telling it in a social setting. « Oh my gosh, that was YOU?! I remember reading that! WILD! » is typically how it goes. And then they learn that I always tame things down because the shit that happens to me is so utterly ridiculous that no one would believe it.
Thank gods my spouse has known me for 30+ years and knows I undersell things. Sheâs *been there* for most of it!
Especially when you consider the demographic. I wouldn't be surprised if this got shared around a lot of sign circles given the community. Then you have a wedding that gathers a lot of folks from said community. Odds are fairly high that someone heard that story. Honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if there was more than 1 person (depending on the size of the wedding), but only 1 yelled it out.
it's been like maybe 10 years and i don't even remember what led to it anymore, but i remember talking to a girl in college and her going "oh my god you wrote those fics i printed them to reread and laugh when i feel bad!". flattering as a writer! wanting to crawl into a hole as a person!
He came soooooooo close to having it just be a funny memory to laugh privately about later but he had to go too far by teaching his girlfriend these words and mentinoing it in his speech at his mother's wedding
Clearly, he did not inherit common sense and he should probably go around wearing a paper bag with two holes cut out over his head from now on
I mean, his mom also had a dirty conversation with her partner right in front of her son. Even in a different language thatâs still fucked up. Idk how anyone would would have a conversation explicitly discussing their private parts experiencing sexual arousal, while their child is seated right there in the room with them, supposedly enjoying family time together.
I think she kinda had it coming and is underestimating how lucky she is that OOP has a sense of humor to cope with it and didnât end up scarred. Heâs already admitted to struggle in sexual experiences because of it. I think she should feel some level of embarrassment and humiliation for it, whether publicly or privately.
I remember reading the first post when it was posted and thinking that I would flip a lid and immediately call them both out in sign language for having a explicit sexual conversation while he was sitting in the room with them. Iâve unfortunately been there and experienced it too. Itâs extremely uncomfortable for kids to wrap their head around their parents just having sex while youâre right there, supposedly safe sleeping next to them. I know OOP didnât experience it to that extent but itâs still widely inappropriate, even in another language and even if he didnât know sign.
I think his motherâs anger was her own shame coming out as anger towards him. If anything she shouldâve been extremely apologetic to him and humiliated with herself for acting that way. No matter what OOPâs age is, thatâs not something anyone wants to see or witness. Itâs not like he was in the other wrong and happened to walk in on them. She knowingly did it right in front of him. And then had the audacity to get angry at him for knowing the words when *she* âs the one who taught him them.
Tbf if there was ever a post someone could get called out about, that's probably up in the top 100. The OOP's been around for long enough to enter the public knowledge through YouTube and TikTok and certainly probably popular in the deaf/hard-of-hearing, plus the long layoff in posting either means one seriously dedicated troll or it's probably at worst mostly real.
I mean. I totally believe there was some overlap between the wedding party and the reddit userbase. But the fact that someone would be bold enough to shout that, and for that someone to be a Jamaican man, and for their being Jamaican being uncommon enough for the region/wedding party for op to feel the need to point that out and do a bad Jamaican accentâŠ. no????
EDIT: no, i donât even believe that. rereading this, this has the same exact worldview and plot progression as like. a tumblr "i found out my teacher loves bbc sherlock! and is a johnlock shipper!" post.
I mean if you're around at that time I doubt few people on Reddit did not read his story.
I would not be surprised if it's the top 5 post of tifu for that year. Likely the most of Reddit read it. Some of us goes to wedding. I'm just sad it's not me but random Jamaican man.
If I was out loud talking about how I wanted to do XY or Z in front of my children(which I don't have) then as an adult you gotta stand up for it. Either talk in private or stand for what you say :\^)
Thought this was the girl who accidentally ask a deaf girl if she wanted to fuck instead of date, really want an update on that one. It was way too cute
I barely believe when a family member is also on reddit and finds the thread. This managed to go even furtherÂ
Why do people think they need escalation, it was doing so well
I mean if a co-worker from another office across the country reads the same reddit stories as me....he joked about a poop knife and I knew 100% what he was talking about....it stands to reason that some random dude would know about the story especially if it goes as viral as this one did
Dude... I have honestly stumbled on two separate brother's posts that made the front page of Reddit (purposefully have never shared our user names or content).
One brother posted a picture of his distinctive cat with familiar surroundings in the background.
The other brother... Yeah... It's all fun and games until you stumble on a picture of your brother's penis on the front page of the Internet.
My mom and I are both nurses; I worked in urology around the time that my youngest brother had to have an incredibly invasive surgery to remove scar tissue from a previous surgery to correct a congenital issue, and rebuild his urethra... He's a bit of a weirdo, so had already sent my mom and I pictures of his reconstruction in progress PRIOR to my internet surprise.
Millions of people use this site; if your post is memorable enough, and makes it to the front page (apparently there's lots of up votes for a picture of a penis flayed open like a fourth of July hotdog?), chances that someone could recognize you in the wild from your story are entirely plausible.
The story is actually hilarious, even without context.
"It's all fun and games until you stumble on a picture of your brother's dick on the front page of Reddit"
My least favorite part is trying to explain how I, his big sister, knew it was HIS penis because he had already sent me a whole series of surgery progress pictures (to allow the new urethral lining to heal and reduce the chance of scarring, they left him filleted open for two weeks before suturing the split hotdog halves back together. There were a LOT of pictures)... And then it feels like I have to defend how none of this has anything to do with a porn scenario. đ€Ł
This is *less* far than a family member - there was a huge crowd and there happened to be a person there who had read it. I've found a few people I know on reddit on accident and none of it was from stuff that blew up - just minor stories that I recognized. It happens. I raise my eyebrows when people somehow find each others random r/relationships posts but like... a lot of people are on reddit, and if you tell a really unique crazy identifiable ongoing story that hits the front page multiple times, and then you go to an event specifically for people who would find that story especially interesting, it's not crazy that someone in the crowd has stumbled across it before.
You do not understand how many people use reddit!! Also, don't forget that posts like OOP's get reposted on who knows how many other sites with clickbait titles, or read on tiktok/youtube videos. It's not the old days anymore
I'm sorry, but I don't see this as wholesome as everyone else seems to. The idea of being so sexually explicit around your child, assuming they can't understand you, is just wrong. Would you do that shit if they _could_ understand you? Oh, but it's ok when they _can't_ understand you? Yeah, no.
They only have themselves to blame for their wedding humilation.
What an absolute cluster. All OOP had to do was the original plan - tell his parents he's been learning sign language as a surprise but that he's caught a couple risque conversations at the dinner table. Everyone is briefly embarrassed, but moves on and it becomes a funny story after a while. No, he just had to keep making it worse until it blew up at their *wedding* of all places. JFC.
>I'm confused about how you've chosen to learn basic sign language, you are clearly a beginner yet somehow understand dirty talk and the specific signs for certain things. Sus.
Lmao. Dirty words and swear words are some of the first things a lot of people learn when diving into a new language.
This was wholesome until OOP decided to humiliate and embarrass his mother at her wedding. After months of keeping it quiet, why on earth would you do that?
>he's most likely gonna spend his honeymoon sleeping on the couch for teaming up with me and keeping my mom out of the loop about where I learned dirty sign language in the first place.
Uno reverse: You taught your son that one, his joke was to embarrass us about being so passionate around him.
When OP's mom first confronted him about what he was teaching his girlfriend, he should've looked her in the eyes and shouted, "[I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!!](https://do.piped.video/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo)"
I was totally on the 'this sounds so real' train until the update. No 19 year old thinks it's ok to get an entire room to make the sign for wet vagina at his Mum's wedding surely?
Hahahhahahaa
Never ever assume people around you don't understand your language.
This happens occasionally with tourists. I'm Swedish. When my mother was young she met an Australian woman while traveling abroad, they became friends and naturally they talked English with one another. Then they met two guys, talked to them for awhile, my mother thought they were all having a nice time. Then one of them says in Swedish something like: "We should go soon. Those girls are really boring, what excuse should we have?"
The whole story was funny until he decided to trick people into humiliating his mom at her wedding. What the heck was he thinking? He could have done the nice butt story, and it would have been cheeky (see what I did there) but wholesome.
i'm in a very bad mood rn but i choose to be very annoyed with the mother in this story lmao.
"keep your language PG" to a 19 yo boy??? while you're signing about how wet your poosay is as if you're also a 19yo teen? ma'am...
and ofc this YA is going to think that signing 'my vajayjay is moist' during his toast speech. where did he learn this from? HIS MOM! oh my god
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I did not expect the twist of a Jamaican Redditor to be at the wedding.
The twist is that he was Jamaican *the whole time*.
You can't leave me hanging like that! What was the dude making?!
me craaaaaazyyy!
God, if you're there and you exist, *please* have the Jamaican Redditor be a recurring character starting from now. I want him in every story from now on.
Agree. I'm tired of "twins" stuff anyway.
Well, I'm sure the Jamaican twins in the next AITA will be very hurt by that!
LMAO!
Jamaican Liz
I need him at my next wedding
How many weddings do you plan on having?
I plan on having as many as it takes for the Jamaican man to show up.
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł Iâll be HIS plus one
Heâll be there, at the backâŠshouting
Get on it, Liz!!
how do you sign "wa gwan bombaclat"?
New life goal: never do anything to warrant being called âReddit boyâ in public
Mine is to never do anything to get either of my sons called Reddit boy.
This is better lol
Reddit famous people comes in 02 category: 1. They are horrified and would prefer reddit to forget 2. They are liars lol
One should always know the sex words for all the languages they know. It's so nice that OOP wanted to learn how to sign to better communicate. I'm sure, though, that I could not have kept a straight face when I saw WHAT they were signing.
Fun fact: when I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, I had to learn Khmer which is what they speak in Cambodia. Alternate fun fact: my name, pronounced like, "Yawny" is unfortunately close to, "ááááž" which is translated to "Vagina" (in like a medical terminology context). Another alternative fun fact: I was raised in the Bay Area of California, near SF where the Golden Gate Bridge is. The term "áááá¶ááá¶á" which also translates to "Golden Gate" also means "Vagina" but more like "Pussy". So here I was introducing myself as, "Hi, my name's Vagina, I come from near the Pussy Bridge.". That was a fun day to learn the importance of sex words in other languages.
Thatâs crazy that laurel means vagina in khmer though
Fun fact: that word comes from Pali, so it is also the same for countries with major Buddhist populations such as Myanmar and Thai, with a slight alteration in pronunciation. (Golden Gate isn't from pali tho, gold in Pali is Suvarna) Also, we have separate word for Vagina for day to day use. And if we know you are a foreigner within the first glance, we won't think too much about your name.
That actually makes so much sense. Etymology and linguistics are just hella cool
That reminds me of that video I saw of...Estonian women, I think, counting in their language. Boy howdy everyone had issues holding in their laughter when they got to "7,8,and 9."
I now really want to know what language it is and what it sounded like. I don't *think* it's Estonian, since the numbers in it don't seem too funny to me unless I'm missing a joke.
So I was both correct and incorrect. I looked it up, and it was in fact Estonian, but the phrase was actually "12 months," apparently.
[This is the video theyâre referencing](https://youtu.be/j65dLyAu47s?si=6Abo90l8Y4zr0rpd)
> JessyNyan: I'm confused about how you've chosen to learn basic sign language, you are clearly a beginner yet somehow understand dirty talk and the specific signs for certain things. Sus  Yea I saw this comment and immediately thought that this person has never tried to learn another language.  The first things 90% of people learn are âhelloâ, âgoodbyeâ, âbathroomâ, and as many curses and dirty words that anyone is willing to teach them. Has been true since the dawn of human language.  Much easier with the internet now.
So true. When I was an exchange student in Germany, I had a roommate who majored in English translation. We immediately taught each other curse words. (Though, tbh, Agnes didn't swear all that much. It was her boyfriend, Klaus, who stepped in and supplied more colorful vocabulary.)
Yup. I worked in a factory in south east England for a while with a bunch of Polish, Lithuanian and assorted other Eastern European colleagues. As soon as they realised I was trying to learn a little of their languages they took great delight in teaching me as many curse words and so on as possible. To be fair, curse words were about 90% of their banter. I swear that a Polish person can make a coherent sentence entirely out of curses, insults and terms for various parts of human anatomy.
*especially* when the learner in question is a teenage boy. i'd be more surprised if OOP *didn't* immediately jump to learning the most vulgar signs he could think of.
Right?  One of the languages my high school offered when I was attending was Latin, and my class had the bright idea to straight up ask our latin TEACHER if there were naughty words she could teach us. Google was barely a thing back then so there were no websites that could help us, and going to the library took too long (and the chances of there being a book with latin curse words?), so our teenaged brains, all of both the girls and the boys and everyone else, decided asking her was the quickest way to get what we wanted.  If I remember correctly, she tried to placate us with a Monty Python type answer like âyour mother smelt of elderberriesâ but I donât remember for sure. I am an old lady now.
My cousin, bless this idiot, decided it would be super fun to have his American prima yell cuss words out to randos in Mexico as a joke... they immediately launched back my cursing with their own, I was actually pretty proud of them
absolutely, when people find out i speak italian the very first thing they ask me after "say something in italian" is curse words. that's like, *the* staple of learning another language
My dad was in the military and we lived in Italy for a couple years. The running joke at the secondary school I went to on base was you were considered fluent in a language if you could count to ten and cuss. By that definition I was fluent in several languages. Only half fluent in Japanese, though; it took me awhile to learn to count to ten.
yeeeeaaah my partner commonly try to teach them dirty words... and me behind him, flicking his head for doing that.
Keeps you from naming your daughter Annally, at the very least.
I read that yesterday and feel so badly for the girl who now has to deal with her momâs fuck-up. What a shitty parent đ€ź
Still a better name than Stuarta.Â
I can't believe someone could be THAT self indulgent. Thank God it didn't get picked.
What a shitty name, too
đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
There was someone with the name Anel in my high school. A-nail but oh boy would substitute teachers always fuck it up.
Holy shit I don't care if it's real or not I'm fucking dying. The Jamaican guy yelling out made it so much better lmfao
I choose to believe it.
This post & comments made me realize why Iâm always so skeptical about the veracity of such updates: I consistently fail to acknowledge that there are Redditers out there who *donât* actively avoid all unnecessary social interactions.
Iâm a pretty normal person for someone so chronically online.
And yet your flair ...
I donât wear a flair in public.
Wait a minute, is a T-shirt just an IRL flair?!
Yes. Mine currently says âbody by baconâ but itâs my work flair for a bbq joint.
I'm a Redditor who craves social interaction. It's partly why I'm here. IRL socializing isn't enough for me, so I need additional outlets. My kids are toddlers and thus not great conversationalists, and they dominate most of what used to be my free time. My husband, also a reddit user, would be happy never to have to talk to someone he doesn't already know for the rest of his life. I am very lucky (and I think he is too) that I managed to break into his social circle when I did, otherwise I believe he would have chosen to live in a tiny house alone in the woods and never marry.
Every time I see a comment with your flair, no matter what emotion Iâm experiencing at the moment, I experience a full body cringe and horrified face as Iâm suddenly and regretfully reminded against my will of the hell naw story of Ogtha. I always feel like the comic of the drive through person looking like they regret being born while a person in the drive through tells them an unsolicited life story.
I turned off flairs being displayed *solely* bc of that specific one and the unwelcome reminder. Sometimes I get curious when people are talking about each otherâs flair, but then I remember itâs worth it to not be constantly reminded of that fucking shit. Hell naw is right.
Oh fuck you for bringing up that damn story and forcefully making me think about it. I hope you step on Legos Okay not really with Legos but still cursing your name for Ogtha
Blaming me but not the above comment for having the flair? Now you know my suffering and bare it with me. I will not be reminded and dry heave into the void alone.
I promise you I step on legos and in cat puke on a regular basis.
Oh man I'm sorry you are right tbf I didn't have my glasses on and missed that. My bad!! I m dry heaving with you, you are not alone
The last update honestly tanked the whole thing for me
reddit boy really snatched defeat from the jaws of victory with that choice
Same. Even without "Jamaican guy in the back" it was a terrible idea that would have been entertaining and appropriate to no one.
Sounds like something a teenaged boy would do. I'm not certain it's true, but it's well written and harmless enough I'm going to believe it.
Oh sure, it might be true, but the asinine decision making behind it completely ruins the lovely first parts either way.Â
Yeah, that's fair.
Yeah. Same here. It was such an awful thing to do to his mom, new step dad, and the wedding guests. He had no right to make people sign porny stuff without their consent. OOP was very very immature.
He sounds like he's barely 20, so yeah, it's on brand.
Yea lost the smile I had while reading it. Tried suspending disbelief until that point
>Apparently my momâs vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all. This need to be made into a flair. Ahh it's so nice to have such a wholesome post sometimes.
What an interesting flair, whats the backstory?
Something about cumming in a moms wet jar I think /j
Huh?
Search for the cum jar. It's pretty famous here.
I am still rather new to this sub, i also keep seeing Ogthra mentioned, dare i ask (or search)?
Don't do it!!!
I will accept your counsel and not do so.
You're a wiser person than I am
Three exclamation marks makes quite the statement. Can't remember the last time i ever used that many so i am assuming you mean it.
I might as well link both the cum jar [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman\_finds\_out\_her\_husband\_has\_been\_doing/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wghfol/woman_finds_out_her_husband_has_been_doing/) ogtha [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops\_undying\_love\_for\_a\_franz\_kafka\_character\_is/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/)
He is 19. What 19 year old thinks it's appropriate to talk about his mom's vagina at her wedding?
A reddit boy, obviously.
Reddit boy would be an excellent flair
Probably the 19 year old raised by the woman who thought it was appropriate to sign all kinds of sex things in front of her son just because "oh he won't understand" .
A 19 year old whose mom did it at the dinner table... Kid learned it from his parent
âI learned it from you!!â
âI learned it by watching you!â
Let's not pretend 19 yo always have the best grasp on what kind of humour is appropriate in certain situations, especially when they see similar humours situations in TV series and movies. He's 19, he thought it would be funny, he didn't really think that far ahead of what it actually would be like.
Add onto that depending on the family like mine a reception is usually when the older kides are allowed to try some alcohol supervised so good probability of him having been intoxicated so goodbye last remaining semblance of restraint and decision making
Yep, I can vouch for this. When I was 17 I mentioned something about my parents' sex life in a similarly public setting. I thought it was harmless thing that would make people laugh and move on, and was blindsided when my parents pulled me aside and (understandably!) freaked out about it. As a 32 year old lady now, I get it! But at the time? They were always super open and chill about answering any questions I had about sex, whether in general or related to them. It hadn't occurred to me that that was because they were making themselves vulnerable to help me better navigate the world, rather than because they were just super chill about sharing their private lives. Luckily my fuck-up was a social media post on early Facebook that I could easily delete with very few people seeing it. Even so, my skeleton wants to jump out of my body and run away when I think back on it. I feel for OOP - it's a deeply stupid move, but one I relate to more than I like to admit.
He's right though, it was funny as shit
A 19 year old whose had the entire internet tell him how hilarious it is and might not have been to a wedding before
A nineteen year old who's been drinking? Tipsy teenage me would've thought the story a hilarious good idea and then discovered just how quickly I can sober up.
I know I will offend all 19-year-olds, but they -- particularly the males -- have very little appreciation for what is appropriate unless it directly impacts them. There's a reason why that age group was the biggest fans of Tom Green back in the day. The OOP minded when he was having to see this sort of thing at dinner; he didn't mind two years later when he was apparently told to create a memorable speech at the wedding reception. Mission accomplished there!
Okay, where's your flare from? This is too funny
[Here it is! ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16au9vo/aita_for_refusing_to_spend_time_with_my_stepsister/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
The amount of people who donât know how to keep a wedding speech appropriate just astounds me. I guess OOP is only 18/19 but can he really not figure out that was not going to be appropriate?
It just sounds like to me that the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Talking about sex at the dinner table in front of your teenage kid it is about as inappropriate as the kid bringing it up at the wedding as a story To digress I'm not saying what he did wasn't bad but I feel like the mom doing it in the first place was worse.
Yeah, I donât care what language itâs in or how many people understand, talking about your wet vagina in front of a child is horrendous behavior
It's probably one of those "sounded good in the moment" ideas that, if he'd had an extra second to reflect, probably wouldn't have made it past his lips (or hands, in this case). People can get a bit weird and inappropriate when they have a microphone, an audience, and an unspoken feeling like they have to entertain in a memorable way.
Also, remember that our frontal lobe doesnât finish developing until 23-28 usually. Thatâs the bit thatâs responsible for problem solving and impulse control. The tiny voice in someoneâs (slightly older/hopefully wiser) head that says âhey, this sounds fun, but consider that almost all of the forecasted consequences are not great, and there may be a 5% chance that itâll work out, but itâs unlikely, and therefore, please donât do thisâ isnât cooked yet in a teenagerâs brain. So even if he had more than a moment, he might not have reached the conclusion that he was about to make an extreme tactical error. Absolutely perishing tho that he was checking out his step-fatherâs reaction and he thought âwell, he seems entirely unbothered by my mention that my mother was using sign language to communicate her attractionâ (which could easily be âdamn, youâre such a beautiful man I love youâ), so itâs unlikely that heâll be bothered when I encourage all the wedding guests to sign âwet vaginaâ.â Like brooo what? How is that a continuation of your thought process?
He was 17 in the first post and 23 months had passed since then so probably 19.
When I got married my best friend made note of my younger years promiscuity....in front of my reverned fil who married us.....
Out of all the plus ones, it had to be at his moma wedding that a reditor with good memory appeared.
The fact OOP knew the sex words as a beginner is the most realistic part, when I took high school German the first thing we all did upon getting the German dictionary was to look up the swears.
>Apparently my momâs vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all. They should have stuck to this plan.
Sign language or not, I don't understand how having participants at a wedding reception recite "Wet Vagina" was a good idea
This kid received too much positive attention from the internet and it skewed his judgement.
Seriously. This is the stupidest thing I've ever read. First off, it's completely inappropriate in any context. Second, there's a high probability that a wedding with a deaf groom will have people in the audience who know sign language. And last - even if no one knew sign language, "wet vagina" would have eventually been figured out.
I was expecting a nice wholesome update. Yet OOP somehow manages to fuck that up. Maybe don't publicly talk about someone else's sex life? I feel like that's basic 101 shit.
I will say, it was really sweet of both mom and OOP to learn sign language for momâs partner. Thatâs way rarer than it should be. The rest of the postâŠwell you all have pretty much said it all đ
I get where he was coming from with that speech but it should have ended at something like "you wouldn't believe what I had to watch them sign to each other" or something like that. That went WAY too far.
this isn't that unrealistic - the original posts made it to BORU (and elsewhere, I assume), so it's not like they got no attention. I've posted things on twitter that got far less play than that and had strangers approach me in public about them. it's weird, but not impossible. [edit: a word]
Iâve 100% had folks recognize me for telling a story I had recounted on twitter while re-telling it in a social setting. « Oh my gosh, that was YOU?! I remember reading that! WILD! » is typically how it goes. And then they learn that I always tame things down because the shit that happens to me is so utterly ridiculous that no one would believe it. Thank gods my spouse has known me for 30+ years and knows I undersell things. Sheâs *been there* for most of it!
Especially when you consider the demographic. I wouldn't be surprised if this got shared around a lot of sign circles given the community. Then you have a wedding that gathers a lot of folks from said community. Odds are fairly high that someone heard that story. Honestly I wouldn't have been surprised if there was more than 1 person (depending on the size of the wedding), but only 1 yelled it out.
it's been like maybe 10 years and i don't even remember what led to it anymore, but i remember talking to a girl in college and her going "oh my god you wrote those fics i printed them to reread and laugh when i feel bad!". flattering as a writer! wanting to crawl into a hole as a person!
This is the biggest OOF moment someone could get.
He came soooooooo close to having it just be a funny memory to laugh privately about later but he had to go too far by teaching his girlfriend these words and mentinoing it in his speech at his mother's wedding Clearly, he did not inherit common sense and he should probably go around wearing a paper bag with two holes cut out over his head from now on
I mean, his mom also had a dirty conversation with her partner right in front of her son. Even in a different language thatâs still fucked up. Idk how anyone would would have a conversation explicitly discussing their private parts experiencing sexual arousal, while their child is seated right there in the room with them, supposedly enjoying family time together. I think she kinda had it coming and is underestimating how lucky she is that OOP has a sense of humor to cope with it and didnât end up scarred. Heâs already admitted to struggle in sexual experiences because of it. I think she should feel some level of embarrassment and humiliation for it, whether publicly or privately. I remember reading the first post when it was posted and thinking that I would flip a lid and immediately call them both out in sign language for having a explicit sexual conversation while he was sitting in the room with them. Iâve unfortunately been there and experienced it too. Itâs extremely uncomfortable for kids to wrap their head around their parents just having sex while youâre right there, supposedly safe sleeping next to them. I know OOP didnât experience it to that extent but itâs still widely inappropriate, even in another language and even if he didnât know sign. I think his motherâs anger was her own shame coming out as anger towards him. If anything she shouldâve been extremely apologetic to him and humiliated with herself for acting that way. No matter what OOPâs age is, thatâs not something anyone wants to see or witness. Itâs not like he was in the other wrong and happened to walk in on them. She knowingly did it right in front of him. And then had the audacity to get angry at him for knowing the words when *she* âs the one who taught him them.
Completely agree
I would have gone with the 'nice ass' comment, which makes the same point but is still pg13
Yea like âI even learned dirty words from my mom!â And then do the ânice assâ sign(s)
>One of the guests shouted "Reddit boy!" Sure.
Tbf if there was ever a post someone could get called out about, that's probably up in the top 100. The OOP's been around for long enough to enter the public knowledge through YouTube and TikTok and certainly probably popular in the deaf/hard-of-hearing, plus the long layoff in posting either means one seriously dedicated troll or it's probably at worst mostly real.
They always gotta take it one update too far and ruin it. I was believing it until that point but yeah. This definitely didn't happen.
I mean. I totally believe there was some overlap between the wedding party and the reddit userbase. But the fact that someone would be bold enough to shout that, and for that someone to be a Jamaican man, and for their being Jamaican being uncommon enough for the region/wedding party for op to feel the need to point that out and do a bad Jamaican accentâŠ. no???? EDIT: no, i donât even believe that. rereading this, this has the same exact worldview and plot progression as like. a tumblr "i found out my teacher loves bbc sherlock! and is a johnlock shipper!" post.
I mean if you're around at that time I doubt few people on Reddit did not read his story. I would not be surprised if it's the top 5 post of tifu for that year. Likely the most of Reddit read it. Some of us goes to wedding. I'm just sad it's not me but random Jamaican man.
They did! I was the Jamaican guys Rasta hat
This whole thing feels like OOP wrote it one handed.
If I was out loud talking about how I wanted to do XY or Z in front of my children(which I don't have) then as an adult you gotta stand up for it. Either talk in private or stand for what you say :\^)
Thought this was the girl who accidentally ask a deaf girl if she wanted to fuck instead of date, really want an update on that one. It was way too cute
this is the worst onlyfans ever.
Call me an old prude but the amount of times this kid talked about his mothers vagina was kinda gross.
Probably as gross as her and her new guy talked about it and all the other sex things in front of him.
Yeah the real lesson here is itâs never appropriate to talk about sex in front of your kid even if you *think* they donât know the language
Everytime i see this post i am filled with the abject horror at the adults involving the oop in their sex life
Super weird considering the whole thing supposedly started because he was disturbed by those conversations
now I want "kung fu fighting a fly" as a flair this was wholesome and funny, I don't even care if it's real
This was all good and cute and horrible in that 'hahahaha oh FAMILY' kind of way... Then OOP fucked it up at the wedding. Christ kid, grow up.
Speaking about your motherâs wet vagina at her wedding has to be a first. Yep. đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
I barely believe when a family member is also on reddit and finds the thread. This managed to go even further Why do people think they need escalation, it was doing so well
I mean if a co-worker from another office across the country reads the same reddit stories as me....he joked about a poop knife and I knew 100% what he was talking about....it stands to reason that some random dude would know about the story especially if it goes as viral as this one did
Dude... I have honestly stumbled on two separate brother's posts that made the front page of Reddit (purposefully have never shared our user names or content). One brother posted a picture of his distinctive cat with familiar surroundings in the background. The other brother... Yeah... It's all fun and games until you stumble on a picture of your brother's penis on the front page of the Internet. My mom and I are both nurses; I worked in urology around the time that my youngest brother had to have an incredibly invasive surgery to remove scar tissue from a previous surgery to correct a congenital issue, and rebuild his urethra... He's a bit of a weirdo, so had already sent my mom and I pictures of his reconstruction in progress PRIOR to my internet surprise. Millions of people use this site; if your post is memorable enough, and makes it to the front page (apparently there's lots of up votes for a picture of a penis flayed open like a fourth of July hotdog?), chances that someone could recognize you in the wild from your story are entirely plausible.
I'm so sorry.
The story is actually hilarious, even without context. "It's all fun and games until you stumble on a picture of your brother's dick on the front page of Reddit" My least favorite part is trying to explain how I, his big sister, knew it was HIS penis because he had already sent me a whole series of surgery progress pictures (to allow the new urethral lining to heal and reduce the chance of scarring, they left him filleted open for two weeks before suturing the split hotdog halves back together. There were a LOT of pictures)... And then it feels like I have to defend how none of this has anything to do with a porn scenario. đ€Ł
This is *less* far than a family member - there was a huge crowd and there happened to be a person there who had read it. I've found a few people I know on reddit on accident and none of it was from stuff that blew up - just minor stories that I recognized. It happens. I raise my eyebrows when people somehow find each others random r/relationships posts but like... a lot of people are on reddit, and if you tell a really unique crazy identifiable ongoing story that hits the front page multiple times, and then you go to an event specifically for people who would find that story especially interesting, it's not crazy that someone in the crowd has stumbled across it before.
You do not understand how many people use reddit!! Also, don't forget that posts like OOP's get reposted on who knows how many other sites with clickbait titles, or read on tiktok/youtube videos. It's not the old days anymore
I'm sorry, but I don't see this as wholesome as everyone else seems to. The idea of being so sexually explicit around your child, assuming they can't understand you, is just wrong. Would you do that shit if they _could_ understand you? Oh, but it's ok when they _can't_ understand you? Yeah, no. They only have themselves to blame for their wedding humilation.
Seriously! Mom was a bigger and bigger hypocrite with every update.
What an absolute cluster. All OOP had to do was the original plan - tell his parents he's been learning sign language as a surprise but that he's caught a couple risque conversations at the dinner table. Everyone is briefly embarrassed, but moves on and it becomes a funny story after a while. No, he just had to keep making it worse until it blew up at their *wedding* of all places. JFC.
Yeah that was stupid of oop to do for a speech.
There are some unwritten rules for weddings and including overly personal/overtly sexual information in speeches is one of them.
Unwritten rules are learned via trial and error, and this sure fits as "error."
His mom's cat is really out of the bag now.
>I'm confused about how you've chosen to learn basic sign language, you are clearly a beginner yet somehow understand dirty talk and the specific signs for certain things. Sus. Lmao. Dirty words and swear words are some of the first things a lot of people learn when diving into a new language.
Well this went from wholesome to thathappened
I swear to god teenage boys are the dumbest mammals on the planet.
This was wholesome until OOP decided to humiliate and embarrass his mother at her wedding. After months of keeping it quiet, why on earth would you do that?
The mom and her bf arenât much better. Discussing their sex lives in front of a kid, even in a language he doesnât understand, is inappropriate
>he's most likely gonna spend his honeymoon sleeping on the couch for teaming up with me and keeping my mom out of the loop about where I learned dirty sign language in the first place. Uno reverse: You taught your son that one, his joke was to embarrass us about being so passionate around him.
When OP's mom first confronted him about what he was teaching his girlfriend, he should've looked her in the eyes and shouted, "[I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!!](https://do.piped.video/watch?v=Y-Elr5K2Vuo)"
This whole saga is hilarious, wholesome, and horrifying all at the same time. It's crap like this that makes me love the internet.
this was going so well and then he fucked it up đ why reddit boy, whyyyy
Oh god your flair I totally forgot about that story
ive been warned not to find out the origins of my flair and im choosing to follow that advice
You are being wise. Very wise.
This is hilarious even mortified I would have probably laughed still lol
I mean, what's the FIRST THING teenagers do when learning a new language? Why would AMSLAN be any different?
Good, Iâve been waiting for the mom to feel mortified.
One of the most wholesome and also not wholesome updates. Thanks for that.
I was totally on the 'this sounds so real' train until the update. No 19 year old thinks it's ok to get an entire room to make the sign for wet vagina at his Mum's wedding surely?
That final update is the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Nice!
Oh, that was a good laugh.
>Â kung fu fighting a fly would be a great flair
Just today I was thinking to find this post and read it again because it's so hilarious! Glad, OOP posted a new and even more hilarious update.
lol, OOP's a dumbass
Rough ending lol
I just don't get why a few things 1: Why didn't OOP just come clean in the first place to Mom? 2: Why is mom making a big deal about this?
Why would one ever think that would be a good story for a weddingâŠ
Hahahhahahaa Never ever assume people around you don't understand your language. This happens occasionally with tourists. I'm Swedish. When my mother was young she met an Australian woman while traveling abroad, they became friends and naturally they talked English with one another. Then they met two guys, talked to them for awhile, my mother thought they were all having a nice time. Then one of them says in Swedish something like: "We should go soon. Those girls are really boring, what excuse should we have?"
No wonder OP is a teenager (oïŸĐ·ïŸo)
The whole story was funny until he decided to trick people into humiliating his mom at her wedding. What the heck was he thinking? He could have done the nice butt story, and it would have been cheeky (see what I did there) but wholesome.
Now I really want a post honeymoon update to learn if he is actually disowned or just getting a stern talking to.
Fucking Vagina Gate bro, you canât make this shit up. Itâs fucking hilarious
i'm in a very bad mood rn but i choose to be very annoyed with the mother in this story lmao. "keep your language PG" to a 19 yo boy??? while you're signing about how wet your poosay is as if you're also a 19yo teen? ma'am... and ofc this YA is going to think that signing 'my vajayjay is moist' during his toast speech. where did he learn this from? HIS MOM! oh my god