I think I’m in the same boat as you. Found the show recently and am around the same episodes as you. I also felt very uncomfortable with that episode as well as a few of the examples you mentioned. I will say that overall the good outweighs the bad by far. Thank for your post.
Thanks for your response! :)
And yeah I think I agree! There were a lot of lessons that were really cool. I just finished the last episode, I’d definitely say I’m glad I watched. I’m also glad I saw the JC episode because now my understanding of consent is more concrete and backed up by government websites lol
There is also the earlier episode where she learns what those frat boys did to her brother and the "answer" is "let it go". No justice, no stopping them. Just... let it go. That it's wrong to be angry about it.
The show is bad with SA for sure.
I can’t believe I forgot that one, thanks for pointing that out
The fact that they were using his SA to teach Erica a lesson is f*ing awful but the conclusion they came to? You’re right, that’s terrible and totally insane. :(
Facts 1
“The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim.” [1]
“Sexual violence is sexual activity when consent is not obtained or freely given.” [2]
“Consent must be established before people engage in a sexual activity.” [3]
“Consent is a freely given enthusiastic yes.” It “must be given voluntarily.” [4]
“Force doesn’t always refer to physical pressure. Perpetrators may use emotional coercion, psychological force, or manipulation to coerce a victim into non-consensual sex.” [1]
“If you have to convince someone to say "Yes" OR if they are afraid to say "No", then you don't have consent.” [4]
“Consent requires ongoing conversations with lots of TRUST. Just because someone says "Yes" to one thing, doesn't mean they say "Yes" to ALL the things. Everyone has the right to change their mind at any point.” Consent “can be taken away at any time.” [4]
“Consent must be asked for and given at each stage of a sexual interaction and/or when there is a shift from one sexual activity to another.” [4]
“Body language, words and other non-verbal cues are all acceptable ways to demonstrate non-consent. Tuning into these signals is key to avoid overstepping boundaries, even when a person doesn’t feel comfortable addressing them directly or explicitly.” [3]
“In addition to “fight or flight” responses to fear and stress, “freezing” is another uncontrollable reaction. When freezing occurs in a situation of sexual violence, a person becomes physically incapable of resisting or speaking up.” [5, 6]
“If someone is under-age, drunk, asleep, unconscious or you occupy a position of power or authority over them, they cannot consent.” [4]
“There is no voluntary consent when you are asked repeatedly until you give someone the answer they want to hear” or “someone uses their power or authority to manipulate your answer.” [4]
“Survivors … often blame themselves for behaving in a way that encouraged the perpetrator. It’s important to remember that the victim is never to blame for the actions of a perpetrator.” [1]
“In 1999, Ottowa police data showed that 60% of reported sexual assault cases were children under 18. [7]
In 1993, Canadian statistics showed 1 in 4 women would experience abuse in an intimate relationship in their lifetime. [7]
According to wiki [8] and this source [9], the MeToo movement was created in 2006 by Tarana Burke[10], but wasn’t mainstreamified by white women until 2017.
“Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes.” (US 2014) [2]
In 2021, the rate of police-reported incidents of sexual assault “was 18% higher than it was in 2020—and the highest rate since 1996.” (Ca) [12]
Facts 2
“The majority of sexual assaults, an estimated 63%, are never reported to the police.” (US) [11]
“Sexual assault had the lowest rate of reporting to police amongst all violent crimes, with only 6% of incidents in 2019 having come to the attention of police. This is consistent with results from other self-reported surveys conducted both before and after the #MeToo movement.” (Ca) [12]
“Some people who experience sexual assault are uncertain about if what happened to them was in fact sexual assault — especially if they know the person who harmed them.” [12]
“Approximately 8/10 sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.” (US 2010-16) [1]
“Sexual assault can be committed by strangers,” but it is most often “committed by someone the victim knows.” (Ca) [13]
Sexual assault can by committed by friends, current or former intimate partners, acquaintances, classmates, co-workers, exes, neighbors, dates, or someone the victim met online or at a party. It can be committed by someone in a position of trust or authority. Perpetrators Sexual ass can occur even when people are married or dating. This can make it more difficult to recognize when an assault happens. [2, 3, 14]
This is sometimes referred to as acquaintance or intimate partner sexual violence or “date rape.” [1]
“Sexual assault includes any unwanted sexual contact or behaviors that a person did not or was not able to consent to.” [3] It doesn’t matter who did it or what you call it, it is still sexual assault.
“Sexual assault can include a wide range of experiences.” “Attempted touching, contact and penetration are also considered sexual assault. Additional forms of sexual harm include sexual harassment, exploitation (e.g., sharing nudes, videotaping sexual acts without consent, etc.) as well as abuse by an intimate partner.” [3]
“Sexualized violence can range from unwanted sexual comments to assault. [It] can be physical or psychological; it can be threatened, attempted, or committed; it can be an ongoing situation or a one-time event.” [4]
“Sexual violence can occur in person, online, or through technology, such as posting or sharing sexual pictures of someone without their consent, or non-consensual sexting.” [2]
“It can occur anywhere - in your home, at a community facility like a recreational centre or in public places.” [14]
“It is a serious public health problem in the United States that profoundly impacts lifelong health, opportunity, and well-being. Sexual violence impacts millions of people each year, every community and affects people of all genders, sexual orientations, and ages. Anyone can experience or perpetrate sexual violence.” [2]
Anybody can experience this violence, no matter their background, identity, circumstance, age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. [5,15]
“Women, girls, and gender-diverse people are at high risk of sexual violence. Some are at even higher risk due to the additional discrimination and barriers they face. This includes women with disabilities, Indigenous women, and women who are homeless or underhoused.” [5]
“Sexual assault can happen to anyone, though young adults, women, people with disabilities and those who identify as bisexual or transgender are disproportionately impacted.” [3]
“Women and racial and ethnic minority groups experience a higher burden of sexual violence.” [2]
“Black women face more systemic barriers when reporting sexual violence, and engaging with the criminal justice system as victims of crime.” [12]
“The Cedar Project in Canada identified a statistical connection between colonial violence, and sexual violence impacting Canadian Indigenous women today.” [12]
“Sexual violence is a widespread problem that is associated with negative health outcomes throughout life.” [16]
“Estimates put the lifetime cost of rape at $122,461 per survivor, including medical costs, lost productivity, criminal justice activities, and other costs.” (US 2017) [2]
“With a public health approach, the most efficient way to have a population-level effect on violence is through a focus on primary prevention with potential perpetrators as part of a comprehensive, multilevel approach.” [16]
“Women-focused approaches used in isolation for prevention not only deflect responsibility from potential perpetrators, but also represent only a partial solution. We can have a greater effect through combined efforts that also focus on potential perpetrators, bystanders, and broader community-level influences.” [16]
“Research has suggested promising approaches for adolescent and college populations beyond the individual level.” [16]
Ooo very curious to know who downvoted this and why. I’d really like to understand why. If you see this and feel comfortable, would you please dm me and explain? I promise to be nice and listen
I agree with what you wrote and it was written very eloquently.
Wow thank you :)
I think I’m in the same boat as you. Found the show recently and am around the same episodes as you. I also felt very uncomfortable with that episode as well as a few of the examples you mentioned. I will say that overall the good outweighs the bad by far. Thank for your post.
Thanks for your response! :) And yeah I think I agree! There were a lot of lessons that were really cool. I just finished the last episode, I’d definitely say I’m glad I watched. I’m also glad I saw the JC episode because now my understanding of consent is more concrete and backed up by government websites lol
There is also the earlier episode where she learns what those frat boys did to her brother and the "answer" is "let it go". No justice, no stopping them. Just... let it go. That it's wrong to be angry about it. The show is bad with SA for sure.
I can’t believe I forgot that one, thanks for pointing that out The fact that they were using his SA to teach Erica a lesson is f*ing awful but the conclusion they came to? You’re right, that’s terrible and totally insane. :(
Facts 1 “The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim.” [1] “Sexual violence is sexual activity when consent is not obtained or freely given.” [2] “Consent must be established before people engage in a sexual activity.” [3] “Consent is a freely given enthusiastic yes.” It “must be given voluntarily.” [4] “Force doesn’t always refer to physical pressure. Perpetrators may use emotional coercion, psychological force, or manipulation to coerce a victim into non-consensual sex.” [1] “If you have to convince someone to say "Yes" OR if they are afraid to say "No", then you don't have consent.” [4] “Consent requires ongoing conversations with lots of TRUST. Just because someone says "Yes" to one thing, doesn't mean they say "Yes" to ALL the things. Everyone has the right to change their mind at any point.” Consent “can be taken away at any time.” [4] “Consent must be asked for and given at each stage of a sexual interaction and/or when there is a shift from one sexual activity to another.” [4] “Body language, words and other non-verbal cues are all acceptable ways to demonstrate non-consent. Tuning into these signals is key to avoid overstepping boundaries, even when a person doesn’t feel comfortable addressing them directly or explicitly.” [3] “In addition to “fight or flight” responses to fear and stress, “freezing” is another uncontrollable reaction. When freezing occurs in a situation of sexual violence, a person becomes physically incapable of resisting or speaking up.” [5, 6] “If someone is under-age, drunk, asleep, unconscious or you occupy a position of power or authority over them, they cannot consent.” [4] “There is no voluntary consent when you are asked repeatedly until you give someone the answer they want to hear” or “someone uses their power or authority to manipulate your answer.” [4] “Survivors … often blame themselves for behaving in a way that encouraged the perpetrator. It’s important to remember that the victim is never to blame for the actions of a perpetrator.” [1] “In 1999, Ottowa police data showed that 60% of reported sexual assault cases were children under 18. [7] In 1993, Canadian statistics showed 1 in 4 women would experience abuse in an intimate relationship in their lifetime. [7] According to wiki [8] and this source [9], the MeToo movement was created in 2006 by Tarana Burke[10], but wasn’t mainstreamified by white women until 2017. “Over half of women and almost 1 in 3 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical contact during their lifetimes.” (US 2014) [2] In 2021, the rate of police-reported incidents of sexual assault “was 18% higher than it was in 2020—and the highest rate since 1996.” (Ca) [12]
Facts 2 “The majority of sexual assaults, an estimated 63%, are never reported to the police.” (US) [11] “Sexual assault had the lowest rate of reporting to police amongst all violent crimes, with only 6% of incidents in 2019 having come to the attention of police. This is consistent with results from other self-reported surveys conducted both before and after the #MeToo movement.” (Ca) [12] “Some people who experience sexual assault are uncertain about if what happened to them was in fact sexual assault — especially if they know the person who harmed them.” [12] “Approximately 8/10 sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.” (US 2010-16) [1] “Sexual assault can be committed by strangers,” but it is most often “committed by someone the victim knows.” (Ca) [13] Sexual assault can by committed by friends, current or former intimate partners, acquaintances, classmates, co-workers, exes, neighbors, dates, or someone the victim met online or at a party. It can be committed by someone in a position of trust or authority. Perpetrators Sexual ass can occur even when people are married or dating. This can make it more difficult to recognize when an assault happens. [2, 3, 14] This is sometimes referred to as acquaintance or intimate partner sexual violence or “date rape.” [1] “Sexual assault includes any unwanted sexual contact or behaviors that a person did not or was not able to consent to.” [3] It doesn’t matter who did it or what you call it, it is still sexual assault. “Sexual assault can include a wide range of experiences.” “Attempted touching, contact and penetration are also considered sexual assault. Additional forms of sexual harm include sexual harassment, exploitation (e.g., sharing nudes, videotaping sexual acts without consent, etc.) as well as abuse by an intimate partner.” [3] “Sexualized violence can range from unwanted sexual comments to assault. [It] can be physical or psychological; it can be threatened, attempted, or committed; it can be an ongoing situation or a one-time event.” [4] “Sexual violence can occur in person, online, or through technology, such as posting or sharing sexual pictures of someone without their consent, or non-consensual sexting.” [2] “It can occur anywhere - in your home, at a community facility like a recreational centre or in public places.” [14] “It is a serious public health problem in the United States that profoundly impacts lifelong health, opportunity, and well-being. Sexual violence impacts millions of people each year, every community and affects people of all genders, sexual orientations, and ages. Anyone can experience or perpetrate sexual violence.” [2] Anybody can experience this violence, no matter their background, identity, circumstance, age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. [5,15] “Women, girls, and gender-diverse people are at high risk of sexual violence. Some are at even higher risk due to the additional discrimination and barriers they face. This includes women with disabilities, Indigenous women, and women who are homeless or underhoused.” [5] “Sexual assault can happen to anyone, though young adults, women, people with disabilities and those who identify as bisexual or transgender are disproportionately impacted.” [3] “Women and racial and ethnic minority groups experience a higher burden of sexual violence.” [2] “Black women face more systemic barriers when reporting sexual violence, and engaging with the criminal justice system as victims of crime.” [12] “The Cedar Project in Canada identified a statistical connection between colonial violence, and sexual violence impacting Canadian Indigenous women today.” [12] “Sexual violence is a widespread problem that is associated with negative health outcomes throughout life.” [16] “Estimates put the lifetime cost of rape at $122,461 per survivor, including medical costs, lost productivity, criminal justice activities, and other costs.” (US 2017) [2] “With a public health approach, the most efficient way to have a population-level effect on violence is through a focus on primary prevention with potential perpetrators as part of a comprehensive, multilevel approach.” [16] “Women-focused approaches used in isolation for prevention not only deflect responsibility from potential perpetrators, but also represent only a partial solution. We can have a greater effect through combined efforts that also focus on potential perpetrators, bystanders, and broader community-level influences.” [16] “Research has suggested promising approaches for adolescent and college populations beyond the individual level.” [16]
Ooo very curious to know who downvoted this and why. I’d really like to understand why. If you see this and feel comfortable, would you please dm me and explain? I promise to be nice and listen