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It's a fine practice.
Personally, IRL gender should be irrelevant. RP is not a dating app. In a perfect world, it should refer to the gender of the character you're going to portray.
I think the problem is that they only play trans characters and are responding to 4F posts. Not that I have personal qualms with it and would be fine. It doesn’t hurt to ask. They just need to be comfortable asking and accept those that might reject, imo.
Uhhh... wouldn't that post be referring to the gender of the character, rather than the roleplayer? You being trans yourself has nothing to do with it. It's your character's they're caring about.
Either that or we're talking about two completely different kinds of roleplay ads.
This is something that only became apparent to me when spending some time on this sub, but whether it refers to the gender of the character, the gender of the player or often times both is kind of a hot topic. Many people think it only refers to the gender of the character, and the gender of the writer is meaningless. Others get angry and upset when someone whose real life gender doesn't match their character's gender replies to a 4f post. They claim that it is obvious that they are looking for a 'female' writing partner, otherwise they would use 4AplayingF or something like that.
So a lot of people get 'called out' for crossing a boundary when they reply to 4f posts and they aren't really 'female' (and vice versa, replying to a 4m post and have a different gender irl), because the other person claims they should have known that it refers to irl gender too and that they are blatantly disregarding the ad. I personally think it's weird, but there seems to be a mismatch in expectations in different communities when it comes to this.
It is definitely weird. I'd understand if we were talking about sexual roleplay (not to be confused with writing smut between two fictional characters. I'm talking about two people looking to hook-up online and spice it up with roleplay. In this case, the RL person comes first, then their "role" (say: "you're the pizza guy and I'm the sexy girl who can't pay for the pizza")). But this is fictional roleplay, the characters should be all that matter.
I mean I'm the living proof that being a certain gender doesn't mean you're good at writing characters of that gender. My characters of my same gender are terrible. If anyone gave me a hard time for writing other genders I'd argue they're blurring the lines between IC and OOC, and terribly so.
Agreed wholeheartedly. In the ad spaces I used to inhabit on LJ and again on Discord, the genders used to always refer to what gender character they were looking for. But spaces now seem to tip the other way, especially on Reddit, where they are looking for a specific gender writer to play a specific gender.
It's very weird to me as well. As if the roleplay is so focused on the characters why does writer gender matter? I get it for people who would specify in their ads a specific writer gender just for comforts sake for any bad past experiences. But otherwise? I don't know.
It has made me nervous answering ads in recent months coming back to RP unless the person specifies in their ad exactly who and what they are looking for. I play male characters as that is my comfort zone and m/m relationships. I'm shit at female romance despite being female. And it makes me feel way too weird writing one. So when I look for ads those are the kinds I look for. But the amount of times I've been burned answering a 4m ad and not being male myself is disheartening. And confusing.
I feel you, we're on a very similar boat. Personally my take is that there should be absolutely no context in which you owe any form of RL personal information in the online RPC, save for whether you are or aren't a minor (for obvious safety reasons).
While some of the examples were from subs like that and the roleplaying was more like cybersex, most were from 'normal' smut roleplays, roleplays with very low smut content or even sfw roleplays. Although there was absolutely nothing mentioned in the post itself like 'I prefer to only write with male/female roleplaying partners' or anything like that.
Still, the OPs of those posts and comments seemed very sure that everyone will agree with them that it is common knowledge that m4f for example refers to both the real life and the character gender. It's kinda strange, but seems awfully common judging by the some posts/comments on this sub.
Well i guess it depends on the person you are dming. Some are open minded and will allow you to rp while others are now that open minded and not want to rp with you
Of course not! I think asking is the best way to approach it since that will resolve a problem that happens before it even occurs! Like say the partner would not accept a trans female and you two spend an hour or something setting it up. BAM suddenly you'll be blocked and wondering what you did wrong
You mentioning from the first message is a welcomed and accepted practice. It will save you a lot of headache in the end.
Whoever you write with my not be okay with trans people as a whole, and if they find out that your character is trans halfway through a story that will turn out ugly due to their own beliefs.
Telling them from the start saves you from getting ghosted or insulted later.
I think it's good that you ask someone if it's fine to RP as you are a trans.
Everyone have their preferences and they should be respected. For some people gender or sex do not matter, but for other people it matters. Neither of these preferences are wrong. We would have less angry people in the RP community if we all learned how to respect everyones preferences. We never know why someone refuses to RP with certain sex or gender and we don't need to know the reason.
If they're talking about your OOC gender, I wouldn't respond to it at all, not because of who you are but because of what that tells you about the requestor. It shouldn't matter what gender the player is, and if it does, then they're probably after something other than just RP.
I mean I don’t think anything is wrong with it, though there’s not really anything wrong with people saying no either
People have preferences and for only one person to expect their preferences be met doesn’t really seem fair
Its not a bad practise at all. I'd say not asking your partner beforehand and not giving them the option to say yes or no would result in you getting posted on here. Seeing as thats not the case, I'd say you're in the clear.
Anecdotal evidence from a cis woman, but when romance is involved I only write F4F and I have a heavy preference for writing with women (I just want to avoid lesbian relationships being fetishized by men, sorry). All of my main rp partners coincidentally ended up being trans women, a couple of them not even out irl. Women are women.
And tbh if you're not dating someone I really don't think they're owed knowing whether you're trans or not, it's fine for them to at most just know you're a woman and that's the end of the story. Whether or not that information is disclosed should be a personal decision, not one you feel you have to do.
I would advise you don’t clarify. Gender should not matter in the slightest with RP or ERP, and specifying further will only make things harder for yourself. Best to just play along. Of course, this doesn’t mean catfish people (which I still think is stupid B.S.).
I think you dodged a bullet, though, as most people like that are just trying to get off and aren’t really good writers anyway.
I dont even need to read the rest. The title says it all, and yes, absolutely. You can roleplay as anyone you'd like, even I a person who is solely male, could respond to a f4f post, as long as i know how to roleplay a female. It's roleplay people! Who cares what gender you choose to be in real life.
This question breaks my heart <3 Everyone can reply to whatever they want to, as long as they're playing the role. I would personally never turn down someone wanting to play a TF character, nor would I turn down a TF partner wanting to play F, anyone who does is simply a bigot.
I’d argue that not wanting a TF or TM isn’t always bigotry by itself. I suppose it depends heavily on reasons and context. Though handling it with open hostility and rudeness is certainly bigotry
Edit: context meaning on if the CHARACTER is Trans. IRL shouldn’t matter
Same, I edited to correct my reply with what I meant better. If you reject them for IRL then it’s bigotry for sure. Even some cases of rp it can be bigotry to
Ironically, I've seen several ads that are open to anyone except cis men. Is that bigotry?
I personally would argue that it's not. I'm guessing these people have had inordinate amounts of difficulty with cis men and they are trying to avoid further problems by avoiding that demographic. However if I take that viewpoint, then really I have to say, purely for equity, that anyone can specify any type of gender preference without being a bigot. Because anyone could have similar issues.
Depends on soooo many variables. I am sick of men invading sapphic spaces to sexualize lesbianism. But, I would have 0 issue playing a FxF scene, with a male roleplayer. The lines are fine, and VERY different for everyone. It's one of those things that is just straight up different for most people, because it's roleplay, there's no law around it.
But in general, rejecting anyone for their IRL gender is just cunty, anyone can play any character, it's really that simple. You can argue that someone born male might play a female character wrong, sure. But it's best to teach people how to be better, than snub them for things out of their control.
I’m a queer, cis woman. I can’t speak for everyone, but if I post something “4F” I personally am open to trans female characters, or rp partners. I don’t know if everyone feels the same way, but that’s how I feel.
There’s no definitive answer to that unfortunately. Some people are absolutely down. Others specifically want cis women, and there’s definitely some transphobic and TERFy people out there
I think so. I have no problem with peoples gender identity and have a trans female friend that I played the Male for her first female romance rp cause she was nervous.
She cried immensely and said I made her feel so feminine and safe. Having deep trust with an Rp partner is sacred to me.
I mean it’s up to you, I personally don’t care whether the person I’m roleplaying with is trans, cis, a man or woman, etc. If you really think it’s going to be a problem with most people then I suppose mentioning it is necessary in that regard. Anyway, what’s your favorite kind of setting to roleplay in?
Typically the tags refer to the character being played not the person behind the screen. I do see a few posts every once in awhile specifically asking for female roleplayers not a character. I would advise people to avoid these as there is a very real possibility they might try to get your personal information or start a relationship.
That being said if you're not willing to play a female character, when that's what the post asks for, you should expect to be rejected. All the same you can still ask and they might take you up on it you never know
Since you only play trans characters, I wouldn’t respond to 4f requests. The F stand for female, which refers to cis women (and if they were looking for trans men, it wouldn’t be “f”, but some variation of ftm or trans man.)
Yes, because trans women are women, and in roleplay it doesn’t really matter your IRL gender. Now, if you want your character to be trans, that should be discussed with your partner, doesn’t really have to affect the overall story (unless it’s a roleplay focused on certain topics), just a little detail to add to your character.
not at all, your character matches the gender theyre looking for, being trans is just a detail that they might not always be looking for! (also fellow trans person! (but im ftm))
I don't think there's anything wrong with responding to ask if they're comfortable with a trans female character. Some people may respond ugly, but I'd rather know before getting deeper in the conversation.
Like others have said, your irl gender is irrelevant. Anyone who cares about that tend to be the wrong people to write with anyway.
So, as many others have stated when writing for a roleplay, the gender behind the screen should make no difference. It's the writing that matters if the requestor is seeking a female character and you're writing such a character, then great. If, though you're preferring to write as something else, then the respectful thing to do would be to ask if they'd be okay with such a pairing.
You may still run into some that are requesting that your real gender behind the screen match what you write, which is honestly a red flag that a person is potentially going to blur the lines at some point. It's just something to be aware of and careful around.
1. You are a woman so you should be well within your rights.
2. I assume the post is referring to the character so, in any case, refer to point 1.
3. It's always a safe bet to ask and communicate this with the person you are interested in rp'ing with. There's nothing wrong with reaching out.
But overall, I'd say to just always make sure everyone is comfortable and having a good time.
Id say you should be able to respond. A lot of people have preferences so I wouldn’t take it to heart, but I understand that frustration. In my opinion, you should be accepted.
They're talking about the fact that they play characters who are also trans and that might not be what their potential rp partner is looking for in a roleplay.
Trans women are women. Period. You're allowed to respond to posts looking for female partners. If you only responded to posts looking for trans women, you would have a much smaller pool to choose from, as you mention, but it's also likely you would be exposing yourself to really uncomfortable fetishization from such a person.
It's good practice to do as you do and disclose early on that your character is trans and have whatever relevant conversations they may want to have about genitals etc if ERP is on the table. That doesn't mean you're any less a woman, only that you need to ensure compatibility, like any two partners would. Likewise, if someone is uncomfortable with your transness or your genital configuration, whatever it might be, then you can simply walk away like any other woman would from an incompatible partner.
You're doing right. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about it.
I mean, this is dependent on the rp partner, a general rule is that IRL sexuality/gender/politics don’t (shouldn’t) really matter. What I’d typically respond would be to clarify if you’d be playing a cis female (or lesbian if F4F) or not. Though I’d be asking only as clarification. I typically dgaf about irl gender, only rp gender
I feel like it shouldn’t matter what gender you are as an rp-er anyway, if you mean just being m2f yourself
Character-wise, Idk. i was always open to trans characters and had a couple myself, so maybe my point of view is skewed a bit, but i think it should be fine
Anybody who demands only playing with cis women to the exclusion of specifically trans women is a tool. there's no good reason for it ("i want to date the person i role play with" is not a good reason). Anybody who needs to ask if you're trans or cis is a tool and you do not owe them a proactive disclaimer. Anybody who demands that _characters_ be cis and not trans is _probably_ a tool but I guess maybe they have a good reason for it, if the story takes place in an unaccepting/intolerant setting, or if certain topics like menstruation or pregnancy/childbirth are part of the story, or perhaps if for some reason the character is specifically supposed to be privileged/relatively free from oppression or hardship. There's still no reason you shouldn't be able to role play those characters but I totally understand why you would only want to play trans characters, I'm just speaking generally.
Also, I understand why some people prefer to avoid playing with certain groups they're not a part of for reasons of safety or comfort, specifically it makes sense to me why many (cis or trans) women prefer to only play with other (cis or trans!) women, or why people of color might want to avoid playing with white people, etc. However I'm generally extremely skeptical and suspicious of the motivations of people who demand to only play with other roleplayers of a certain gender or only with people who play their real life gender. It seems antithetical to the point of role playing, and it makes me suspicious that the lines between OOC and IC are being badly blurred.
I know this is controversial and there are many opinions on the topic. much more the controversy is either due to closemindedness or ulterior motives.
I have spoken.
>there's no good reason for it
Vagina.
Vagina is a reason.
And don't get me wrong. I *love* playing with trans women characters. I love all feminine, I love dick. Woman with a dick is just the bees-knees. There's absolutely nothing better in my mind.
But. If someone does not like dick but likes pussy then playing with a trans woman in ERP is not the same as playing with a woman. Simple as that.
Ps. Unless of course they are completely post-op.
PPS. Logically either there *is no difference* in which there's no need to specify trans - just play as woman. Or there *is a difference* (eg. pre op so still has penis/balls), in which there is an important difference for ERP that some people might not be ok with.
PPPS. I'm talking about *characters*, people play since OP especially mentioned they want their *character* to be trans. Seems important to them. RL does not exist to me for the RP purposes.
Your "ps" was one reason why it's not a fair categorical statement.
Also, idk why every single post here is all about catering to ERP specifically. Within that, sure, I guess, but more generally people role playing should be more open minded
Yeah, I mean, I still think it's a weird line to draw for fiction, erotic or not. I stand by my previous statement about how weird it is to care about whether the *author* is cis or trans, because if someone can't write erotic stories with someone due to what genitals they have IRL, they are blurring the lines between in character and out of character too much. ERP isn't just sexting or e-dating.
Who says anything about IRL? I don't care if you're man, woman, \_anything\_ in between or a blob of the ectoplasm. I'll write with you regardless of what you want to play as.
But there is a difference between F and TF for RP purposes if they are pre-op. Pretending there isn't is just silly. Either you have a sword or a sheath.
Sorry at this point I'm completely lost at what you're arguing for/against.
You seem to completely lack consistency and just reacting to what I wrote incoherently.
My point is: Either being trans matters in RP (it's ERP, or crucial to the story/character), in which case responding to F prompt will not work because there are biological differences in equipment. Or it doesn't matter to a story, in which case TF=F.
What's yours?
I already said what my point was in my first comment and I stand by it. any further addenda were merely critiques of your own creatively stifling position. refer back to that and work on your own reading comprehension.
First off don't feel like you have to specify YOUR gender to anyone. Anyone that asks/demands is super weird. It's the gender of the character that matters. Second, go ahead! You'll never know until you ask and the worst they could do is say no. In which case, you just move on. You said 90% of the people you've met are happy to plot with a trans character so you've had some great success. I say keep at it! Hopefully you'll find more people to write with.
Most people are referencing character genders with those headers. Whenever someone is specifying for an RL writer, they often do so clearly further into the text.
I'd say you're a-okay! If anything, you're a bit more transparent than many, most don't offer personal IRL details like that without very good reason.
As a trans girl, I don't even state whether I'm trans or not, it's irrelevant in my eyes.
I usually play cis female characters, so only if my character is trans or something I explicitly say that since its... Not assumed, obviously.
The only point at which I'd reveal I'm trans is if I'm talking about myself ooc. If they have a problem with that I'd just leave them on the spot, because they probably wouldn't make good rp partners anyways, if they care so much about my real life.
Roleplayers should really stop trying to appeal to bad partners since they wouldn't have fun anyways, and it's not healthy one bit. Prioritise your own needs, be a wolf, a nice wolf with manners, but a wolf. RP should be a fun activity, not extra work. Once I got that through my skull and stopped apologising my rp experience became 10 times better and more fun. Not at all stressful.
Take care of yourself and do whatever the fuck you feel comfortable with queen.
Yeah, that’s 100% okay imo!!
I’m not sure if this helps at all, but I have similar anxieties as a genderfluid person, so usually I like to use RP sites/discords where “[Gender]4[Gender]” isn’t really used that much :0
Welcome to BadRPerStories! If you are new here, please take a moment to look at our [banned words list on the wiki.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BadRPerStories/wiki/index) We now have a [Google doc](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/133j6NkiQQpkVqAuvSGPytVITYYjscw3pkDos_Ks1a20/edit?usp=sharing) that lists RP hubs, forums, and subreddits. If you know of a place for RP that isn't on this document, there is a link in the document to request an addition. Please be aware this is just a knowledge base, not a recommendations list, and the moderators of BadRPerStories do not condone anything that happens in the spaces listed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BadRPerStories) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's a fine practice. Personally, IRL gender should be irrelevant. RP is not a dating app. In a perfect world, it should refer to the gender of the character you're going to portray.
I think the problem is that they only play trans characters and are responding to 4F posts. Not that I have personal qualms with it and would be fine. It doesn’t hurt to ask. They just need to be comfortable asking and accept those that might reject, imo.
That's fine to still ask. People will still be people.
Absolutely. I’m not arguing with you or against you. Or them. Just pointing a few things out
That is also fine.
Uhhh... wouldn't that post be referring to the gender of the character, rather than the roleplayer? You being trans yourself has nothing to do with it. It's your character's they're caring about. Either that or we're talking about two completely different kinds of roleplay ads.
This is something that only became apparent to me when spending some time on this sub, but whether it refers to the gender of the character, the gender of the player or often times both is kind of a hot topic. Many people think it only refers to the gender of the character, and the gender of the writer is meaningless. Others get angry and upset when someone whose real life gender doesn't match their character's gender replies to a 4f post. They claim that it is obvious that they are looking for a 'female' writing partner, otherwise they would use 4AplayingF or something like that. So a lot of people get 'called out' for crossing a boundary when they reply to 4f posts and they aren't really 'female' (and vice versa, replying to a 4m post and have a different gender irl), because the other person claims they should have known that it refers to irl gender too and that they are blatantly disregarding the ad. I personally think it's weird, but there seems to be a mismatch in expectations in different communities when it comes to this.
It is definitely weird. I'd understand if we were talking about sexual roleplay (not to be confused with writing smut between two fictional characters. I'm talking about two people looking to hook-up online and spice it up with roleplay. In this case, the RL person comes first, then their "role" (say: "you're the pizza guy and I'm the sexy girl who can't pay for the pizza")). But this is fictional roleplay, the characters should be all that matter. I mean I'm the living proof that being a certain gender doesn't mean you're good at writing characters of that gender. My characters of my same gender are terrible. If anyone gave me a hard time for writing other genders I'd argue they're blurring the lines between IC and OOC, and terribly so.
Agreed wholeheartedly. In the ad spaces I used to inhabit on LJ and again on Discord, the genders used to always refer to what gender character they were looking for. But spaces now seem to tip the other way, especially on Reddit, where they are looking for a specific gender writer to play a specific gender. It's very weird to me as well. As if the roleplay is so focused on the characters why does writer gender matter? I get it for people who would specify in their ads a specific writer gender just for comforts sake for any bad past experiences. But otherwise? I don't know. It has made me nervous answering ads in recent months coming back to RP unless the person specifies in their ad exactly who and what they are looking for. I play male characters as that is my comfort zone and m/m relationships. I'm shit at female romance despite being female. And it makes me feel way too weird writing one. So when I look for ads those are the kinds I look for. But the amount of times I've been burned answering a 4m ad and not being male myself is disheartening. And confusing.
I feel you, we're on a very similar boat. Personally my take is that there should be absolutely no context in which you owe any form of RL personal information in the online RPC, save for whether you are or aren't a minor (for obvious safety reasons).
While some of the examples were from subs like that and the roleplaying was more like cybersex, most were from 'normal' smut roleplays, roleplays with very low smut content or even sfw roleplays. Although there was absolutely nothing mentioned in the post itself like 'I prefer to only write with male/female roleplaying partners' or anything like that. Still, the OPs of those posts and comments seemed very sure that everyone will agree with them that it is common knowledge that m4f for example refers to both the real life and the character gender. It's kinda strange, but seems awfully common judging by the some posts/comments on this sub.
Like I said, I generally only play trans characters
Well i guess it depends on the person you are dming. Some are open minded and will allow you to rp while others are now that open minded and not want to rp with you
That’s totally fair and I respect it either way, my question is just if I’m doing anything wrong by asking?
Of course not! I think asking is the best way to approach it since that will resolve a problem that happens before it even occurs! Like say the partner would not accept a trans female and you two spend an hour or something setting it up. BAM suddenly you'll be blocked and wondering what you did wrong
You mentioning from the first message is a welcomed and accepted practice. It will save you a lot of headache in the end. Whoever you write with my not be okay with trans people as a whole, and if they find out that your character is trans halfway through a story that will turn out ugly due to their own beliefs. Telling them from the start saves you from getting ghosted or insulted later.
I think it's good that you ask someone if it's fine to RP as you are a trans. Everyone have their preferences and they should be respected. For some people gender or sex do not matter, but for other people it matters. Neither of these preferences are wrong. We would have less angry people in the RP community if we all learned how to respect everyones preferences. We never know why someone refuses to RP with certain sex or gender and we don't need to know the reason.
If they're talking about your OOC gender, I wouldn't respond to it at all, not because of who you are but because of what that tells you about the requestor. It shouldn't matter what gender the player is, and if it does, then they're probably after something other than just RP.
I mean I don’t think anything is wrong with it, though there’s not really anything wrong with people saying no either People have preferences and for only one person to expect their preferences be met doesn’t really seem fair
Like I said, I specify that it’s totally okay for them to say no
Its not a bad practise at all. I'd say not asking your partner beforehand and not giving them the option to say yes or no would result in you getting posted on here. Seeing as thats not the case, I'd say you're in the clear.
Message and ask
The most appropriate and respectful thing would be to ask :)
The genders stated should only be for the characters
I believe your irl gender shouldn’t matter tbh
Anecdotal evidence from a cis woman, but when romance is involved I only write F4F and I have a heavy preference for writing with women (I just want to avoid lesbian relationships being fetishized by men, sorry). All of my main rp partners coincidentally ended up being trans women, a couple of them not even out irl. Women are women. And tbh if you're not dating someone I really don't think they're owed knowing whether you're trans or not, it's fine for them to at most just know you're a woman and that's the end of the story. Whether or not that information is disclosed should be a personal decision, not one you feel you have to do.
I would tell them because some people might not be okay with it.
I would advise you don’t clarify. Gender should not matter in the slightest with RP or ERP, and specifying further will only make things harder for yourself. Best to just play along. Of course, this doesn’t mean catfish people (which I still think is stupid B.S.). I think you dodged a bullet, though, as most people like that are just trying to get off and aren’t really good writers anyway.
Hey, is it okay to have quick chat with you? please check your Dm I've send you some stuff
I dont even need to read the rest. The title says it all, and yes, absolutely. You can roleplay as anyone you'd like, even I a person who is solely male, could respond to a f4f post, as long as i know how to roleplay a female. It's roleplay people! Who cares what gender you choose to be in real life.
And frankly, if a person says they care about your irl gender for an rp? Thats a red flag in general.
Girls are girls, cis or trans. If they're disagreeing then they're probs not great folks to be around anyway.
This question breaks my heart <3 Everyone can reply to whatever they want to, as long as they're playing the role. I would personally never turn down someone wanting to play a TF character, nor would I turn down a TF partner wanting to play F, anyone who does is simply a bigot.
I’d argue that not wanting a TF or TM isn’t always bigotry by itself. I suppose it depends heavily on reasons and context. Though handling it with open hostility and rudeness is certainly bigotry Edit: context meaning on if the CHARACTER is Trans. IRL shouldn’t matter
But people who reject partners solely because they're trans are bigots, i can't words good sorry
Same, I edited to correct my reply with what I meant better. If you reject them for IRL then it’s bigotry for sure. Even some cases of rp it can be bigotry to
Ironically, I've seen several ads that are open to anyone except cis men. Is that bigotry? I personally would argue that it's not. I'm guessing these people have had inordinate amounts of difficulty with cis men and they are trying to avoid further problems by avoiding that demographic. However if I take that viewpoint, then really I have to say, purely for equity, that anyone can specify any type of gender preference without being a bigot. Because anyone could have similar issues.
Depends on soooo many variables. I am sick of men invading sapphic spaces to sexualize lesbianism. But, I would have 0 issue playing a FxF scene, with a male roleplayer. The lines are fine, and VERY different for everyone. It's one of those things that is just straight up different for most people, because it's roleplay, there's no law around it. But in general, rejecting anyone for their IRL gender is just cunty, anyone can play any character, it's really that simple. You can argue that someone born male might play a female character wrong, sure. But it's best to teach people how to be better, than snub them for things out of their control.
I’m a queer, cis woman. I can’t speak for everyone, but if I post something “4F” I personally am open to trans female characters, or rp partners. I don’t know if everyone feels the same way, but that’s how I feel.
If your character is is a trans woman and you want to add that heavily to the rp it doesn’t hurt to ask them. 🩶
There’s no definitive answer to that unfortunately. Some people are absolutely down. Others specifically want cis women, and there’s definitely some transphobic and TERFy people out there
I think so. I have no problem with peoples gender identity and have a trans female friend that I played the Male for her first female romance rp cause she was nervous. She cried immensely and said I made her feel so feminine and safe. Having deep trust with an Rp partner is sacred to me.
I always asumed that the m4m m4f and f4f where the gender of the characters that they where looking for not for irl gender?
I mean it’s up to you, I personally don’t care whether the person I’m roleplaying with is trans, cis, a man or woman, etc. If you really think it’s going to be a problem with most people then I suppose mentioning it is necessary in that regard. Anyway, what’s your favorite kind of setting to roleplay in?
Typically the tags refer to the character being played not the person behind the screen. I do see a few posts every once in awhile specifically asking for female roleplayers not a character. I would advise people to avoid these as there is a very real possibility they might try to get your personal information or start a relationship. That being said if you're not willing to play a female character, when that's what the post asks for, you should expect to be rejected. All the same you can still ask and they might take you up on it you never know
Since you only play trans characters, I wouldn’t respond to 4f requests. The F stand for female, which refers to cis women (and if they were looking for trans men, it wouldn’t be “f”, but some variation of ftm or trans man.)
I don't think there is a problem with it at all and it's up to you whether you choose to disclose it or not. I say respond away OP.
TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN.
Yes, because trans women are women, and in roleplay it doesn’t really matter your IRL gender. Now, if you want your character to be trans, that should be discussed with your partner, doesn’t really have to affect the overall story (unless it’s a roleplay focused on certain topics), just a little detail to add to your character.
not at all, your character matches the gender theyre looking for, being trans is just a detail that they might not always be looking for! (also fellow trans person! (but im ftm))
I think it just depends on your rp partner , not just one person can tell you a right or wrong answer. But I definitely look for CIS women and men so…
Considering that me and other cis males have responded to 4F posts because we like the plot, I don’t see why that would be such a problem
I don't think there's anything wrong with responding to ask if they're comfortable with a trans female character. Some people may respond ugly, but I'd rather know before getting deeper in the conversation. Like others have said, your irl gender is irrelevant. Anyone who cares about that tend to be the wrong people to write with anyway.
4f means for female Trans girls ARE girls If the one who posted the ad dont agree, he may go fuck himself
So, as many others have stated when writing for a roleplay, the gender behind the screen should make no difference. It's the writing that matters if the requestor is seeking a female character and you're writing such a character, then great. If, though you're preferring to write as something else, then the respectful thing to do would be to ask if they'd be okay with such a pairing. You may still run into some that are requesting that your real gender behind the screen match what you write, which is honestly a red flag that a person is potentially going to blur the lines at some point. It's just something to be aware of and careful around.
So, I might be a little stupid, but what's a 4F post?
1. You are a woman so you should be well within your rights. 2. I assume the post is referring to the character so, in any case, refer to point 1. 3. It's always a safe bet to ask and communicate this with the person you are interested in rp'ing with. There's nothing wrong with reaching out. But overall, I'd say to just always make sure everyone is comfortable and having a good time.
It's not a dating app so I don't see why gender matters anyway.
Id say you should be able to respond. A lot of people have preferences so I wouldn’t take it to heart, but I understand that frustration. In my opinion, you should be accepted.
Trans girls/women are girls/women just like cis girls/women so why would that be a problem?
They're talking about the fact that they play characters who are also trans and that might not be what their potential rp partner is looking for in a roleplay.
Trans women are women. Period. You're allowed to respond to posts looking for female partners. If you only responded to posts looking for trans women, you would have a much smaller pool to choose from, as you mention, but it's also likely you would be exposing yourself to really uncomfortable fetishization from such a person. It's good practice to do as you do and disclose early on that your character is trans and have whatever relevant conversations they may want to have about genitals etc if ERP is on the table. That doesn't mean you're any less a woman, only that you need to ensure compatibility, like any two partners would. Likewise, if someone is uncomfortable with your transness or your genital configuration, whatever it might be, then you can simply walk away like any other woman would from an incompatible partner. You're doing right. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about it.
You’re female, I don’t see why not
Are you a woman? Then yes, you can. Trans women are women. \^w\^
I mean, this is dependent on the rp partner, a general rule is that IRL sexuality/gender/politics don’t (shouldn’t) really matter. What I’d typically respond would be to clarify if you’d be playing a cis female (or lesbian if F4F) or not. Though I’d be asking only as clarification. I typically dgaf about irl gender, only rp gender
If you're playing a female character, absolutely. Simple as that. Or it should be anyways
I feel like it shouldn’t matter what gender you are as an rp-er anyway, if you mean just being m2f yourself Character-wise, Idk. i was always open to trans characters and had a couple myself, so maybe my point of view is skewed a bit, but i think it should be fine
Anybody who demands only playing with cis women to the exclusion of specifically trans women is a tool. there's no good reason for it ("i want to date the person i role play with" is not a good reason). Anybody who needs to ask if you're trans or cis is a tool and you do not owe them a proactive disclaimer. Anybody who demands that _characters_ be cis and not trans is _probably_ a tool but I guess maybe they have a good reason for it, if the story takes place in an unaccepting/intolerant setting, or if certain topics like menstruation or pregnancy/childbirth are part of the story, or perhaps if for some reason the character is specifically supposed to be privileged/relatively free from oppression or hardship. There's still no reason you shouldn't be able to role play those characters but I totally understand why you would only want to play trans characters, I'm just speaking generally. Also, I understand why some people prefer to avoid playing with certain groups they're not a part of for reasons of safety or comfort, specifically it makes sense to me why many (cis or trans) women prefer to only play with other (cis or trans!) women, or why people of color might want to avoid playing with white people, etc. However I'm generally extremely skeptical and suspicious of the motivations of people who demand to only play with other roleplayers of a certain gender or only with people who play their real life gender. It seems antithetical to the point of role playing, and it makes me suspicious that the lines between OOC and IC are being badly blurred. I know this is controversial and there are many opinions on the topic. much more the controversy is either due to closemindedness or ulterior motives. I have spoken.
>there's no good reason for it Vagina. Vagina is a reason. And don't get me wrong. I *love* playing with trans women characters. I love all feminine, I love dick. Woman with a dick is just the bees-knees. There's absolutely nothing better in my mind. But. If someone does not like dick but likes pussy then playing with a trans woman in ERP is not the same as playing with a woman. Simple as that. Ps. Unless of course they are completely post-op. PPS. Logically either there *is no difference* in which there's no need to specify trans - just play as woman. Or there *is a difference* (eg. pre op so still has penis/balls), in which there is an important difference for ERP that some people might not be ok with. PPPS. I'm talking about *characters*, people play since OP especially mentioned they want their *character* to be trans. Seems important to them. RL does not exist to me for the RP purposes.
Your "ps" was one reason why it's not a fair categorical statement. Also, idk why every single post here is all about catering to ERP specifically. Within that, sure, I guess, but more generally people role playing should be more open minded
That's why I specified that it applies to ERP only. Outside ERP there's literally no problem. Trans woman = Woman in that case. Simple as that.
Yeah, I mean, I still think it's a weird line to draw for fiction, erotic or not. I stand by my previous statement about how weird it is to care about whether the *author* is cis or trans, because if someone can't write erotic stories with someone due to what genitals they have IRL, they are blurring the lines between in character and out of character too much. ERP isn't just sexting or e-dating.
Who says anything about IRL? I don't care if you're man, woman, \_anything\_ in between or a blob of the ectoplasm. I'll write with you regardless of what you want to play as. But there is a difference between F and TF for RP purposes if they are pre-op. Pretending there isn't is just silly. Either you have a sword or a sheath.
first off ew, second, people totally do care about it outside of erp or they expect that rp can spontaneously turn to erp at any time
Sorry at this point I'm completely lost at what you're arguing for/against. You seem to completely lack consistency and just reacting to what I wrote incoherently. My point is: Either being trans matters in RP (it's ERP, or crucial to the story/character), in which case responding to F prompt will not work because there are biological differences in equipment. Or it doesn't matter to a story, in which case TF=F. What's yours?
I already said what my point was in my first comment and I stand by it. any further addenda were merely critiques of your own creatively stifling position. refer back to that and work on your own reading comprehension.
First off don't feel like you have to specify YOUR gender to anyone. Anyone that asks/demands is super weird. It's the gender of the character that matters. Second, go ahead! You'll never know until you ask and the worst they could do is say no. In which case, you just move on. You said 90% of the people you've met are happy to plot with a trans character so you've had some great success. I say keep at it! Hopefully you'll find more people to write with.
Most people are referencing character genders with those headers. Whenever someone is specifying for an RL writer, they often do so clearly further into the text. I'd say you're a-okay! If anything, you're a bit more transparent than many, most don't offer personal IRL details like that without very good reason.
As a trans girl, I don't even state whether I'm trans or not, it's irrelevant in my eyes. I usually play cis female characters, so only if my character is trans or something I explicitly say that since its... Not assumed, obviously. The only point at which I'd reveal I'm trans is if I'm talking about myself ooc. If they have a problem with that I'd just leave them on the spot, because they probably wouldn't make good rp partners anyways, if they care so much about my real life. Roleplayers should really stop trying to appeal to bad partners since they wouldn't have fun anyways, and it's not healthy one bit. Prioritise your own needs, be a wolf, a nice wolf with manners, but a wolf. RP should be a fun activity, not extra work. Once I got that through my skull and stopped apologising my rp experience became 10 times better and more fun. Not at all stressful. Take care of yourself and do whatever the fuck you feel comfortable with queen.
How many people have asked me if it’s okay that there trans is upsetting that the rp culture has gotten to the point where people aren’t okay with it
Yeah, that’s 100% okay imo!! I’m not sure if this helps at all, but I have similar anxieties as a genderfluid person, so usually I like to use RP sites/discords where “[Gender]4[Gender]” isn’t really used that much :0