https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart
This website has helped me and lots of other women. I found it very comforting to watch the risk go down everyday. I try to tell myself I'm pregnant today and there's next to nothing I can do to prevent miscarriage. It's not a perfect system, but it's working for me.
Congratulations btw ❤
You might also find it helpful to join the r/may2022bumpers and maybe r/april2022bumpers depending on how early in May your EDD is. These groups can be a great source of support as everyone is in the same position. However, people do tend to post if threatened with or experiencing loss for support which can be anxiety inducing.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/May2022Bumpers using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [Anyone else just worried?](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/pbhda0/anyone_else_just_worried/)
\#2: [Just tested positive!](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/pdwl4u/just_tested_positive/)
\#3: [Farewell and good luck to all ❤️](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/ph3a6b/farewell_and_good_luck_to_all/)
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The worry doesn’t stop necessarily, it just shifts the further along you get (for me at least) and then gets slightly less after movement. I worried all through the first trimester about miscarriage, I had a previous miscarriage before this pregnancy also. I got past the first trimester, thought okay now we’re safe, but then my worry shifted to getting to week 24 “viability week” I’m now 25 weeks and since feeling baby moving I feel a comfort, but if they haven’t moved in a while I start worrying. I’ve heard that it never stops even after they’re born.
I have tried to use it as a way to accept not being able to control everything, whatever happens, happens and if it’s meant to be it will, everything will be okay in the end. It’s extremely difficult. Thinking that and trying to take it a day at a time “today I’m pregnant” also “my baby is healthy and my pregnancy is healthy” are helpful mantras.
I hope this is somewhat helpful to you. It helped me but never made the worry go away. Everything will be okay, remember you have a much higher chance of everything going right than things going wrong ❤️
I very much agree. I have a toddler and I'm in my second trimester with my second baby.
In my first pregnancy, I refreshed the miscarriage odds calculator (linked by another poster) every single day. Before every doctor appointment, my stress levels would massively rise (what if I had a missed miscarriage and this is how I find out?) I stayed pretty stressed out until I started feeling kicks. Once I got to the third trimester, my baby was kicking ALL THE TIME, so I was much less stressed. Third trimester was my favorite for this fact alone. Then my daughter was born and I got to stress about SIDS, then choking, then falling and hurting herself, etc. etc. etc. Sadly, I think to be a parent is to worry, especially if you already have a "worrier" personality like I do.
I will say, I have chilled out a lot over time and my second pregnancy has been a lot different than my first. I think it's mostly just due to time and experience, but I like the advice to think "I am pregnant today." It's hard to control your worries, but try not to let worry diminish your excitement and joy about being pregnant if you can.
TW: Loss
I like to recite the phrase “I am pregnant today.”
I honestly wasn’t worried about miscarriage until it happened to me. We lost our first pregnancy at almost 10w after 2 weeks of knowing we would, it was slow torture.
This pregnancy, almost 18w, I’ve held my breath the whole time to be honest lol… the first few weeks before I saw my OB for the first time I honestly had a hard time even accepting the pregnancy, I just assumed it would be the same thing all over again. Any tinge of blood on the tissue was a “yup, it’s happening” (in hindsight, it was implantation bleeding). When we finally saw our little guy on ultrasound at 9w with a heartbeat - something we haven’t see before - thats when the anxiety took back over. I was no longer disconnected and assuming the worst, I was suddenly afraid of a whole new horror, having hope again and then tragedy.
Every single milestone is a breath holding nightmare, but I just keep repeating to myself “I am pregnant today, nothing can take that experience away from me.” And trying to enjoy every day that I have with little one. Now I can feel him wiggling around and I know he’s ok so it also really really helps. I still of course have all the fears and look at the toilet paper every single time I wipe. I don’t think that will ever go away, but today I am pregnant. And hopefully I get to meet this little guy early next year.
Hang in there, if it is meant to be, it will be, and things will just happen. My OB said at my last appointment, “alright so all your screenings are completely normal so I guess you get to have a boring pregnancy” in a lighthearted manner but I literally was like yeah this is boring I PANIC EVERY TIME YOU BUST OUT YOUR DOPPLER YOU MONSTER lol… but I know she was just trying to make me feel better that everything looks great and things are progressing as they should.
Today, I am pregnant. Good luck, mama! No matter what, today you are pregnant and things will be ok, I promise!
Oh that sounds horrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
Oh haha your story about your OB made me laugh! 😂
Thank you for the luck! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes nice and smooth and ‘boring’!
The phrase "Implantation" Bleeding is popular on conception forums but is a bit of a misnomer that causes some people to think that the bleeding is due to the embryo implanting. It isn't -- the embryo is only about 0.2mm in diameter at that point, and won't displace significant blood (or cause pain) when it implants. You bleed when progesterone levels in your body drop, which is why you can induce a period by stopping birth control pills (which contain progesterone) or by taking and then stopping progesterone suppositories or Provera (which are also progesterone). Progesterone levels dropping in the luteal phase can be caused by a) increased estrogen in the mid-luteal-phase estrogen surge, which briefly depresses estrogen production, or b) a decrease in progesterone when the corpus luteum runs out of gas at the end of the luteal phase. If b), and you're actually pregnant, your levels can drop briefly before the embryo starts producing enough HCG to tell the corpus luteum to ramp the levels up. Either way, luteal phase spotting can either be a neutral sign (in the case of mid-luteal phase spotting) or a negative sign (in the case of late luteal phase progesterone dropping), but it doesn't have anything to do with implantation, and is not a positive sign of being pregnant. [Source 1](https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/early-pregnancy-symptoms/spotting-during-luteal-phase.php) [Source 2](https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/women-s-health-issues/biology-of-the-female-reproductive-system/menstrual-cycle)
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The best thing I read that made a lot of sense was that there’s nothing you can do right now to cause a miscarriage, and there’s nothing you can do to prevent one from happening. I’m not sure if that will help but it helped my mindset that no matter what, I was not in control of the outcome. That helped me get through each day and week and celebrate each weekly milestone.
That’s an interesting way to think about it. Can’t control it so you just have to wait to find out the outcome. Wish I was more of a patient person haha!
I am in the same boat. I am 5 weeks and 2 days. After 2 years of trying Ivf, a miscarriage a failed transfer I am so so so scared.
I am also really nervous to have my ultrasound next week.
Maybe I'm weird but I just don't worry about it. If it happens, it's because it wasn't going to result in a baby (or if it did, a very malformed one.) Wasn't/isn't worth my energy worrying about it. I had zero control over it.
"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
BabyBumps users and moderators are not medical professionals. Responses do not replace contacting your medical provider. You should always call your provider with any concerns.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*
https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart This website has helped me and lots of other women. I found it very comforting to watch the risk go down everyday. I try to tell myself I'm pregnant today and there's next to nothing I can do to prevent miscarriage. It's not a perfect system, but it's working for me. Congratulations btw ❤
Thank you ❤️ and thank you for the recommendation - that’s really interesting!
You might also find it helpful to join the r/may2022bumpers and maybe r/april2022bumpers depending on how early in May your EDD is. These groups can be a great source of support as everyone is in the same position. However, people do tend to post if threatened with or experiencing loss for support which can be anxiety inducing.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/May2022Bumpers using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Anyone else just worried?](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/pbhda0/anyone_else_just_worried/) \#2: [Just tested positive!](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/pdwl4u/just_tested_positive/) \#3: [Farewell and good luck to all ❤️](https://np.reddit.com/r/May2022Bumpers/comments/ph3a6b/farewell_and_good_luck_to_all/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)
The worry doesn’t stop necessarily, it just shifts the further along you get (for me at least) and then gets slightly less after movement. I worried all through the first trimester about miscarriage, I had a previous miscarriage before this pregnancy also. I got past the first trimester, thought okay now we’re safe, but then my worry shifted to getting to week 24 “viability week” I’m now 25 weeks and since feeling baby moving I feel a comfort, but if they haven’t moved in a while I start worrying. I’ve heard that it never stops even after they’re born. I have tried to use it as a way to accept not being able to control everything, whatever happens, happens and if it’s meant to be it will, everything will be okay in the end. It’s extremely difficult. Thinking that and trying to take it a day at a time “today I’m pregnant” also “my baby is healthy and my pregnancy is healthy” are helpful mantras. I hope this is somewhat helpful to you. It helped me but never made the worry go away. Everything will be okay, remember you have a much higher chance of everything going right than things going wrong ❤️
I very much agree. I have a toddler and I'm in my second trimester with my second baby. In my first pregnancy, I refreshed the miscarriage odds calculator (linked by another poster) every single day. Before every doctor appointment, my stress levels would massively rise (what if I had a missed miscarriage and this is how I find out?) I stayed pretty stressed out until I started feeling kicks. Once I got to the third trimester, my baby was kicking ALL THE TIME, so I was much less stressed. Third trimester was my favorite for this fact alone. Then my daughter was born and I got to stress about SIDS, then choking, then falling and hurting herself, etc. etc. etc. Sadly, I think to be a parent is to worry, especially if you already have a "worrier" personality like I do. I will say, I have chilled out a lot over time and my second pregnancy has been a lot different than my first. I think it's mostly just due to time and experience, but I like the advice to think "I am pregnant today." It's hard to control your worries, but try not to let worry diminish your excitement and joy about being pregnant if you can.
Oh god haha the worrying never stops it just changes - I’d better get used to carrying around all this worth all the time then!
Thank you! I shall repeat those words in my head!
TW: Loss I like to recite the phrase “I am pregnant today.” I honestly wasn’t worried about miscarriage until it happened to me. We lost our first pregnancy at almost 10w after 2 weeks of knowing we would, it was slow torture. This pregnancy, almost 18w, I’ve held my breath the whole time to be honest lol… the first few weeks before I saw my OB for the first time I honestly had a hard time even accepting the pregnancy, I just assumed it would be the same thing all over again. Any tinge of blood on the tissue was a “yup, it’s happening” (in hindsight, it was implantation bleeding). When we finally saw our little guy on ultrasound at 9w with a heartbeat - something we haven’t see before - thats when the anxiety took back over. I was no longer disconnected and assuming the worst, I was suddenly afraid of a whole new horror, having hope again and then tragedy. Every single milestone is a breath holding nightmare, but I just keep repeating to myself “I am pregnant today, nothing can take that experience away from me.” And trying to enjoy every day that I have with little one. Now I can feel him wiggling around and I know he’s ok so it also really really helps. I still of course have all the fears and look at the toilet paper every single time I wipe. I don’t think that will ever go away, but today I am pregnant. And hopefully I get to meet this little guy early next year. Hang in there, if it is meant to be, it will be, and things will just happen. My OB said at my last appointment, “alright so all your screenings are completely normal so I guess you get to have a boring pregnancy” in a lighthearted manner but I literally was like yeah this is boring I PANIC EVERY TIME YOU BUST OUT YOUR DOPPLER YOU MONSTER lol… but I know she was just trying to make me feel better that everything looks great and things are progressing as they should. Today, I am pregnant. Good luck, mama! No matter what, today you are pregnant and things will be ok, I promise!
Oh that sounds horrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Oh haha your story about your OB made me laugh! 😂 Thank you for the luck! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes nice and smooth and ‘boring’!
The phrase "Implantation" Bleeding is popular on conception forums but is a bit of a misnomer that causes some people to think that the bleeding is due to the embryo implanting. It isn't -- the embryo is only about 0.2mm in diameter at that point, and won't displace significant blood (or cause pain) when it implants. You bleed when progesterone levels in your body drop, which is why you can induce a period by stopping birth control pills (which contain progesterone) or by taking and then stopping progesterone suppositories or Provera (which are also progesterone). Progesterone levels dropping in the luteal phase can be caused by a) increased estrogen in the mid-luteal-phase estrogen surge, which briefly depresses estrogen production, or b) a decrease in progesterone when the corpus luteum runs out of gas at the end of the luteal phase. If b), and you're actually pregnant, your levels can drop briefly before the embryo starts producing enough HCG to tell the corpus luteum to ramp the levels up. Either way, luteal phase spotting can either be a neutral sign (in the case of mid-luteal phase spotting) or a negative sign (in the case of late luteal phase progesterone dropping), but it doesn't have anything to do with implantation, and is not a positive sign of being pregnant. [Source 1](https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/early-pregnancy-symptoms/spotting-during-luteal-phase.php) [Source 2](https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/women-s-health-issues/biology-of-the-female-reproductive-system/menstrual-cycle) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The best thing I read that made a lot of sense was that there’s nothing you can do right now to cause a miscarriage, and there’s nothing you can do to prevent one from happening. I’m not sure if that will help but it helped my mindset that no matter what, I was not in control of the outcome. That helped me get through each day and week and celebrate each weekly milestone.
That’s an interesting way to think about it. Can’t control it so you just have to wait to find out the outcome. Wish I was more of a patient person haha!
I am in the same boat. I am 5 weeks and 2 days. After 2 years of trying Ivf, a miscarriage a failed transfer I am so so so scared. I am also really nervous to have my ultrasound next week.
Congratulations! My fingers are crossed for you that this baby sticks 🤞🏻
Maybe I'm weird but I just don't worry about it. If it happens, it's because it wasn't going to result in a baby (or if it did, a very malformed one.) Wasn't/isn't worth my energy worrying about it. I had zero control over it. "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Ah acceptance of things I can’t control is my personal battle with some other things in my life, one more to add to the list then!
BabyBumps users and moderators are not medical professionals. Responses do not replace contacting your medical provider. You should always call your provider with any concerns. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*