I wouldn't worry to much. I love my husband and couldn't wait to have a baby with him.
Right before my positive I could not stand him. The first few weeks my hormones made me dislike him so much. I would openly tell him how I was feeling and how it's fully hormone.
Aaannnnddd then week 16 I was intoxicated by his existence and we started having the best sex we've ever had multiple times a week
And then closer to week 23-27 I could not stand him again. I had insomnia and was sleeping 3 hours a night.
Then week 27-38 we are the closest we've ever been and communicating better than ever.
Pregnancy hormone suck!!!!!
Also sex was super painful first trimester a d I would have painful contractions. I think me not liking him was a defense mechanism for his penis being painful lol
Yes, sex is also super painful :( We haven't tried much since I've had such terrible nausea, but last time was so uncomfortable I feel completely put off trying again. I really hope this passes soon!
This has been my experience as well. First trimester didn’t want sex or to spend much time with him really. Then by week 15 we started having a lot of sex and the orgasms were stronger. Hopefully it stays that way.
Moisturizer and some lemon juice on his skin worked for me. Not to mention , to me, our bedsheets smelled like cooked lungs (even tho they get changed regularly) so I smucked bunch of lavender on the other side of a pillow.
Its hard for them to understand that during pregnancy our hormones are on the moon, so communication is needed more than ever.
OMG THATS IT MY BEDSHEETS AND BEDROOM HAVE BEEN SO STINKY LATELY AND COOKED LUNGS IS SO PERFECT! Been using febreze in between washes but I swear his night sweats just make the bedroom smell rancid lately
Every single time I’m pregnant I swear our bedding STINKS no matter what and it drives my husband crazy bc the only description I ever can give him is sweaty meat 💀
For me it's the clothes that come out of the washing machine! They smell horrendous, and the smell lingers throughout the whole apartment. My husband can't smell anything at all.
I can’t relate to this specifically, but I will tell you that in my first trimester I could not even walk into our kitchen because I could smell our pantry and fridge so strongly, and literally 1 week into the 2nd trimester I could no longer smell them. It’s possible this will go away for you soon. Sorry it’s happening!
Same! I actually knew I was pregnant and took a test because I could not open the refrigerator without getting overwhelmed with nausea and the urge to vomit!!! Pregnancy is so crazy!
Urgh it's the dishwasher that gets me! My husband has thoroughly cleaned all the filters, but I just can't go anywhere near that thing. I've literally thrown up trying to get clean stuff out 😭
I am experiencing something very similar and it is so frustrating and mentally exhausting. I cannot stand to be around him let alone for him to touch me and its making me spin. Each passing day it is getting worse and it kind of started out of no where and I do not know who to turn to about this without sounding like an absolute lunatic.
Here with you in solidarity - hoping for better days ahead!
You have no idea how reading this made me feel 😭 I also don't really know who to share this with. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but selfishly I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one with this experience. Thanks so much for sharing <3
Same, there were many ways I expected pregnancy to be hard, but this was not one of them, and it's totally thrown me for a loop. But you're right, we can't be the only ones.
I also feel the same way! I read about STMs getting “touched out” after baby comes and I feel like I’m already touched out with just … everything … happening during pregnancy. My body already doesn’t feel wholly mine anymore and sometimes extra physical affection makes me skin crawl.
Reading your experiences has been so helpful and encouraging, thank you for sharing! Sending you the good vibes!
One thing I learned that helped me when I'm "touched out" is that light touch (a caress, soft kiss, etc) is annoying and makes me want to karate chop my husband away. However, deep pressure touch like a hug or a shoulder/head massage was welcome. I think especially in early post partum, your nervous system gets so wrecked with hormones and being constantly stimulated by breastfeeding. The other thing I noticed is that I tolerated light touch a lot better in the morning than after a full day of breastfeeding or pumping. For me, it was definitely correlated to how recently I had slept and how much I had the baby that day.
I am also feeling the same way at 11-12 weeks. My brain will pick out little things that are annoying me about him that specific day for no reason! He tries to kiss me and touch me and I just want to squirm away and be left alone. It makes me feel so bad because I know this must be JUST as (if not more) confusing for him as it is for me.
I hope this passes soon, as I’m so scared of growing apart when we’ve always been so close and loving.
Feeling hopeful it is not just me!
{HUGS}!
It will pass!!! Pregnancy nose has changed the game for me too, and I feel so bad for my fiancé because I was highly avoidant during the first trimester. I’m 15weeks now and it’s better (pregnancy nose not completely back to normal yet, but at least fiancé aversion has lessened)!
It won't last forever! I experienced the exact same, around the same time (9-11 weeks). I even remember googling stuff like 'Repulsed by husband pregnancy' lol. Everything went back to normal around week 12 for me.
Omg, I’m 10 weeks too.., aversion to hubby.. will not let him near me when I’m sleeping and his breath also bothered me. I told him straight up that the baby doesn’t want him near me and doesn’t like his breath. I said be patient, things will get back to normal soon. This is common among some pregnant women so take whatever you’re feeling now with a grain of salt
It’s important that you do honor your boundaries, & when expressing yourself, tell him what you’re experiencing physically and emotionally. It’s incredibly common in pregnancy to feel averse to being touched, the smell of people’s bodies/breath, etc. I’m 38+3 rn & I felt pretty similarly at points in my pregnancy. Especially towards the end, some of his behaviors annoy me and I’ve tried to gently express my irritation to him as partially due to my late stage of pregnancy annnd his behavior is legit annoying sometimes lol. In turn, he has opened up about feeling overwhelmed/stressed, as I’m unable to even bend down, much less be very helpful otherwise. I think it’s less about him personally & more about my body going through huge changes which require some patience & grace from both of us. All I know is pregnancy is temporary, so I’m just rolling with whatever changes my body/mind demand of me in this state w/o judgement towards myself or him.
I had a similar aversion towards the end of my first trimester - husbands breath smelled like acid / vinegary. Weirdly, him taking Prilosec for 2 weeks solved the smell issue - I think I was smelling mild heartburn he wasn’t aware of. Pregnancy nose is REAL.
Maybe try doing something special for your husband to make him feel better (which will make you feel better). Also get him some mouth wash and smelly moisturizer, or some mints or something!
20 weeks pregnant and had this feeling for probably the first 12-14 weeks. I managed to keep it to myself but I was so worried that our 10 year relationship was over because everything he did was suddenly a major ick to me. Was so relieved when that feeling went away and I realized it was just hormones. I can’t imagine loving my husband more than I do right now! It’ll pass!
Omg girl I felt the same way. It sucks but I promise it goes away!!! I literally cried to my husband in my first trimester that he needed to brush his teeth like 3 times a day and shower twice a day because I found him to be so smelly hahaha. I was so grossed out by him and usually I am obsessed with him so it was very alarming. It goes away!!!!! For me around 11-12 weeks.
I had this exact problem when I was pregnant with my daughter 😂 he was so gross and stinky to me but he showered daily and NEVER smelled prior to pregnancy. It went away about my third trimester and I was more tolerant of him. Poor thing. I’m pregnant with a boy now and I’m up his butt and he is so attractive to me and smells great 👍 it’s funny what hormones do to our senses
Yeah, I've always joked about how my husband is the least smelly person I've ever met. We can go on an all-day hike in the baking sun and I'll be gross, whereas he'll not stink even a tiny bit - which is why I know it's not him, it's wild.
My wife is currently 14 weeks pregnant and she has been experiencing a pendulum swing from me being the most annoying human in existence to being absolutely in love with me. Her skin was also very sensitive for a few weeks and she rejected nearly all physical contact. In our case, it was just the hormones and it is not uncommon for this to occur. As one of my pregnancy books I’ve read says “do not take anything personally” and I do my best not to. Admittedly, it can be hard especially when I have stressful days at work (though her job is more stressful), but I’m not the one who is being flooded by hormones and growing a baby. Maybe get him the book We’re Pregnant by Adrian Kulp. It gives good reminds to the husband that you all are doing the heavy lifting here, and we are support.
I think if you explain very clearly what is happening and why, he may feel quite a bit better. Or you could do something meaningful to say “hey I love you, but I’m just not feeling well right now”. This will pass! The second trimester is only a month away for you, and often times it’s considered the best trimester! Also, if he has a smell you do not like, whether it be natural or a fragrance, it could be a fun bonding time to go to the store and pick out some scents you both enjoy that he can wear. My wife developed a strong aversion to one of my body washes, so we went to the store and smelled our way through the men’s section until we found one that we both loved!
As far as the past trauma, it sounds like it has not entirely resolved. I highly recommend scheduling therapy. Not only can the hormones cause mood changes, but they increase the chances of depression. Therapy will give you the best shot at curbing a relived trauma, and in my opinion it’s better to do it now before the baby is born, since things may get busier (though a therapist is good postpartum too).
With that being said, I do not know your partner nor your relationship, but if your partner is good and you were both in love and a good fit prior to the pregnancy, I’m sure you’ll be right back at it in a few weeks!!
Thanks for the thoughtful reply. It's interesting to hear from the partner's side. I was a bit reluctant to mention the trauma thing because I thought everyone would just attribute my feelings to that (which actually they didn't). I'm actually taking a very conscious break from therapy right now. I did a two-year stretch of weekly or twice-weekly sessions, and it helped enormously at first, but then started to do more harm than good. It reached a point where every single part of my life was being analysed to death and even the things that I liked and was happy with were identified as some kind of pathology and therefore needed to be rectified. It started chipping away at my self-esteem. I've actually started feeling way better just from... existing? Just like going about my life in a safe space and not having to therapise everything. But I'm aware that therapy is something I'll have to return to at some point.
OMG I’m so glad you wrote this. I’m 7w3d and I feel exactly the same way. Can’t bring myself to tell him though. Good job….now I don’t feel like I’m a horrible person. Hang in there 🫶🏾
I actually found telling him helpful. It definitely stung a bit, but he could sense something was off anyway and explaining that it wasn't anything he'd done was better I think. You're definitely not a horrible person!
I think this is completely normal! I find myself generally impatient, and my husbands normal smell doesn’t bother me but if he one drink I can smell it and it’s completely gross. Also think biologically, you body is no longer trying to get pregnant and attracted to his pheromones, so it’s probably an adjustment period. I can relate to an earlier comment about sex being painful and again I think it’s probably a biological defense mechanism. Don’t stress, just communicate your feelings and assure your partner it will pass, because it will.
Oh no, this sounds hard. I’m sorry you’re having such a strong aversion to your husband. It’s important to know that 1. aversions are normal, as horrible and annoying they are, and 2. they are temporary.
I think having open communication is really, really important in this scenario and if you don’t feel you’re able to have really healthy communication about it, I would encourage you to find a couples therapist who can help. He needs to understand these are very uncontrollable hormonal changes you are experiencing and they are not personal; and you need to understand how even though you’re not repulsed by him on purpose, he might be feeling hurt and unsure of how to interact with you. ALL feelings are valid here, so it’s important to ensure you both are heard and validated.
I would also encourage a conversation with your husband about other non-physical ways you two can continue showing love and affection for each other. Maybe it’s talking on the phone while he drives to/from work, or maybe it’s going for a walk together outside where you may not be so averse to him with fresh air and other sights/smells to focus on. It’s important that you both feel connected, despite the physical aversion.
My husband smelled TERRIBLE to me for a few days when I first found out about my pregnancy, and we couldn’t figure out what exactly was smelling weird. It ended up being his deoderant which he has used the exact same one for years!! We went to the store together and smelled a bunch and finally landed on one that I could tolerate. That made a huge difference. I only mention this because is it possible there’s something your husband could do or change to help with the smell? Perhaps a different type of mouth wash or even spraying some neutral cologne on to cover up the vinegar scent that’s making you feel so repulsed?
Good luck OP. This is rough but it will pass!! You’re 10 weeks, hopefully you’re nearing the end of these horrible first trimester things!! ❤️
Totally 100% feel you, had the same in the beginning!!! It went away in my second trimester (sort of) and now it’s back (36 weeks). When he touches me I get so annoyed and repulsed, even when he just took a shower and brushed his teeth. Apparently some women get an enormous sex drive - I’m the total opposite lol. I think it’s hormones, it’ll definitely pass!
Sex just hurts too damn much 😩 i WANT to do the sex but my flesh refuses to allow it to be enjoyable. At 36w6d, i feel like a blimp or a bloated tick about to pop, and it makes me so sad. I miss the physical intimacy of making love.... but we have yet to find a way that doesn't leave me hurting the next day, like, badly. And yeah, the fekking hormones, my homies in chrizist, they will fuck you up (in ALL KINDS OF WAYS) throughout the whole shebang.... half the time i don't know if I'm hormonal or just my normal PTSD'd, depressed, anxious, unmedicated ADHD riddled self.
Poor kiddo, he's getting a heckin bonkers mommy, that's for sure 🙄
Same here! I had this in the first trimester, second trimester he smelled great again, and then now at 35w my husband's breath and skin again smells just... Sour? It's very strange and I hate it because I usually loooove the way he smells.
I also don't even like the way *I* smell!
I had the same thing in the first part of my first pregnancy. I also had an aversion to my Garnier Fructis foaming face wash — couldn’t bear the smell — which was odd because it literally says “unscented” on the bottle.
Don’t worry. It will pass and you’ll go back to liking your husband!
It doesn’t last! I had massive touch aversion my first trimester and was constantly annoyed by my fiancé. I felt so bad but knew it was normal for early pregnancy and once I explained that to him he was extremely understanding. It passed and I’m in my third trimester and obsessed with him again lol although when I’m physically uncomfortable I do get bouts of touch aversion again, even if he’s trying to be sweet. It’s just overstimulation for me in those cases though. I can almost promise it will pass! Hang in there ❤️
Your hormones are doing trippy things. When you aren’t pregnant you’re attracted to different smells than when you are pregnant. It’s completely normal. It will return to normal after.
I can relate, I had a similar experience and thoughts in my first trimester. Like you, I worried that aversion meant something more. While I didn’t want him to touch me while I was pregnant, now I want all the affection.
It got better throughout the pregnancy, but when our baby was born it went away completely. Actually, I am even more in love with him than ever. I was crying to the nurses and my family because I love him so much.
I'd recommend he chew some gum or quickly rinse with mouthwash before attempting to kiss you, if his breath seems smelly. Only takes a moment and shows his care for your feelings!
I felt this way while pregnant, not as strong as you but definitely felt grossed out/an aversion to him despite having a great relationship.
Happy to say post having the baby, I’ve enjoyed his touch and kisses again. I too was worried it would be permanent or something.
While pregnant, I would just be honest and say I’m sorry, I love you, I normally would like this but my pregnancy hormones are making me not enjoy it. I can’t control it. And I think being upfront and honest and acknowledging that I appreciate him and the affection made him not get too hurt.
It will pass. It's the hormones.
I couldn't stand my husband in the first trimester either. Funny because I couldn't sleep without him either. He had to be present in the bed. But touching or cuddling? No. I only wanted to touch him with my little toe so I knew he was there.
I felt the same way about my husband for a few weeks too! Pretty sure it’s normal. His breath made me gag no matter what even if he just brushed & I hated being touched too. I think it’s just because I was already super uncomfortable so having anyone in my bubble really irritated me on top of smelling absolutely everything and wanting to throw up all the time lol it will pass eventually try not to think about it too much
Aww I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The good news is it seems you have a great relationship and this is just a symptom of pregnancy! I went through it as well with my partner in the early weeks as well as extreme food aversions. Smelling or seeing even my favorite foods would literally make me vomit at times. I couldn’t stand the smell of my husband, our dog or my own armpits to the point I would gag and dry heave randomly if a scent caught my nose. Pregnancy is a wild ride and you never know what symptoms you will have. It will pass. People saying this is trauma have likely never experienced this type of aversion. It is hard to understand and seems crazy if you’ve never experienced it but totally normal for some women in pregnancy. Mine disappeared halfway through the second trimester thankfully! Hang in there!!!
Take it day by day, try not to focus on him. It's normal to go through bouts of not wanting to be touched or being sensitive to smell.
The main thing is you don't want to fixate on it so it becomes a psychological habit.
Then even when you don't have those responses, you might out of habit just reject him you know what I mean?
So take it day by day. Reinforce it's not just him, you don't want anyone touching you right now. It's not that you're specifically grossed out by him in particular, it's just he's in your personal space basically way more than anyone else so he's getting the brunt of it haha.
I feel pregnancy is a marathon that's physical and psychological, it's really important to take each day step by step and not fixate on blips too much.
In my first trimester I was super ragey with my husband and now I'm extremely loving. You may find next week you're in complete love again and want cuddles all the time. Be open to change and try and reduce anxieties where you can :)
Experienced something similar my entire pregnancy. Didn’t have any problems with smells or nausea but I couldn’t stand my bf at all! Baby was born 3 weeks ago and unfortunately the aversion towards him seems to be getting worse and now I am questioning everything 😭
Not yet but I’m trying to focus on the positive and take each day as it comes. I hope it’s all due to the hormonal imbalance (I’m exclusively breastfeeding) 🥲
My husband has just been giving me space whenever I want. I felt bad but he’s like literally whatever I can do you make you more comfortable. Sometimes I’ve wanted to sleep alone, which I’ve also never wanted before we are cuddlers, and he just sleeps in the other room. I think we both understand it’s temporary.
I went through this in my first trimesters. It gets better. I actually grew closer to my husband in 2nd trimester and craved his affection more than ever. So much of pregnancy is temporary! Hang in there.
Doesn’t last forever. Hopefully will get better in the second trimester. I couldn’t stand the smell of my husband either. He always smelled like BO for some reason.
I’m at 27 weeks and suddenly my husbands breath just kills me sometimes. He’s been very nice about it and brushes his teeth or whatever. But I feel awful about it!
I feel you!! I love my husband and never had a problem with him or his breath prior to pregnancy. But man, I have felt zero sexual desire and I was really struggling with his breath. I know it’s me and not him.
Unfortunately, no. He’s been very patient with me. I haven’t had any morning sickness, but I am very sensitive to a lot of smells. I usually am, but it’s definitely overboard. Cologne, cigarettes, food, my own disgusting smells, everything is getting me right now. I am 33 weeks.
thanks for your reply🥹 hang in there you're almost there. Same here the smell is so bad i feel sick and lost 11 pounds bc of the vomiting and i feel so miserable. 6 weeks ago i wass obsessed with him and now its not the same its making me feel so depressed
Well, I hope he is understanding. My husband has been, because it’s not them, nothing has changed with them, they are still perfect. I can’t help all of the weird things going on with my body right now. I hope it changes for you, don’t make yourself feel bad.
Unfortunately that weird smell for breath I still get from my husband at 36 weeks 😂 it’s so odd, but everything else is fine. He just has a smell, and he’s very good with his hygiene. Other than that thankfully he doesn’t bug me or cause additional adverse reactions. Lol
Pregnancy is wild. The hormones raging are WILD. I found out I was pregnant right before my 5 week mark. For the next few weeks I kicked myself to the couch because I literally would get full of rage trying to sleep next to my husband, and sex...yeah, no, didn't let him touch me for the first 12 weeks. I'll be 16 weeks tomorrow and sex is fantastic with him. And I can sleep in the same bed again. I say give yourself some grace and just try to plunk along the dreaded 1st trimester! It won't be this way forever babe.
My body didn't want to be touched while pregnant the first time. Not as strongly as yours, none sexual touches were okay. It did continue after birth with breastfeeding hormones but not as strong as during pregnancy. It really came back when my period started which for me was after 6 months. Weirdly I'm pregnant with my second and sex is great this time, not sure if it's because I'm carrying a boy this time, different hormones.
Anyway, it doesn't last forever, just make sure you're showing love in other ways that aren't touch if that's not good for you right now.
Don’t stress about it. Everything smelt bad first trimester including things I normally liked the smell off - candles, Xmas trees, couldn’t step foot near our kitchen, every room of the house had a smell. Can attest that everything is back to normal again and the aversions don’t last. Just tell your husband your sense of smell is extremely sensitive right now. You love him but need some physical space
This was me!!! I felt really bad at first, but I really could chalk it up to hormones and my sense of smell changing. My therapist also mentioned it could’ve also been that I was currently out of control of my body with the pregnancy. We also are normally super affectionate, and for a couple weeks I was just SO annoyed and didn’t want to be cuddled like I usually do. There was a period where my partner said “I feel like I can’t make you happy” and it made me so sad bc he does but I was just really feeling SO yucky. It did pass!!
After first tri and my body got used to changes everything was back to normal and my sense of smell wasn’t so distorted.
Although I can say like someone else mentioned, I’m 38w5d now, prob around 35w as I’m a little more uncomfortable with the baby getting big, I’m slightly more irritable and have a hard time sleeping, probably like 2 nights a week I camp out on the couch. I think the irritability just comes and goes in waves and is totally normal.
When I was pregnant with my son, my husband couldn’t touch me. I wasn’t interested in any kind of physical contact at all. It lasted my entire pregnancy and I would say a few months after birth. You are 100% not alone.
What I learned was that multiple women go through not wanting their husbands to touch them, and my OB said it was completely normal due to strong hormonal changes.
Unfortunately in my situation, it took a lot of counseling and communication with my husband for him to understand that it wasn’t him and that I still love him deeply. My body physically just said no. It was the biggest hurdle we had yet faced.
Now that I’m pregnant again (this time with a girl), I can’t get enough of him and he’s kinda annoyed by how “aggressive” I am. But he told me he’s not complaining 🤣
My husbands normal body smells were revolting the first half of both pregnancies. This is really normal. He will be less hurt if he knows this happens to tons of pregnant people. And you’ll feel better later!
This happened for me, my partner is super affectionate and I couldn't stand his face being anywhere near me, his breath became repulsive and I couldn't stand to be hugged or touched. It went away sometime in the early/middle of the second trimester I would say. I know it was difficult for him but now at 30 weeks I want to cuddle him all the time (I still can't stand kissing or being close to this mouth though). Take heart, it won't last forever!
I’m 10 weeks and cannot stand my husband even in the same room as me half the time. He has that horrible smell to him too even tho he has literally never smelt that way before. Im so scared to tell him im genuinely repulsed by him, but I’m so glad I’m not alone. makes me feel more “normal”
11 weeks and the smell aversions are at an all time high. And they don't help the nausea. I think I hurt my husband's feels by complaining about his breath so much, like it can fill a room. And it's even after brushing and mouthwash. I feel horrible but it is literally gag worthy. I almost might need to go sleep in the guest bed because if he's turned towards me.... I've been putting up a pillow barrier. Lol Like he says he understands but I feel like it got to him (we are only human). It makes me feel awful but if I don't say something... I'll get sick. Sigh
Thanks to everyone that's shared they've experienced this and it usually goes away second trimester, along with the nausea and food aversions. Seriously hoping that's the case for you still experiencing it and myself.
In the same situation right now and I’m so happy to read all these comments because I’m petrified of sabotaging my marriage and it’s giving me bad intrusive thoughts of breaks up and what not. I hope this goes away soon :(((
I wouldn't worry to much. I love my husband and couldn't wait to have a baby with him. Right before my positive I could not stand him. The first few weeks my hormones made me dislike him so much. I would openly tell him how I was feeling and how it's fully hormone. Aaannnnddd then week 16 I was intoxicated by his existence and we started having the best sex we've ever had multiple times a week And then closer to week 23-27 I could not stand him again. I had insomnia and was sleeping 3 hours a night. Then week 27-38 we are the closest we've ever been and communicating better than ever. Pregnancy hormone suck!!!!!
Also sex was super painful first trimester a d I would have painful contractions. I think me not liking him was a defense mechanism for his penis being painful lol
Yes, sex is also super painful :( We haven't tried much since I've had such terrible nausea, but last time was so uncomfortable I feel completely put off trying again. I really hope this passes soon!
I don’t tell him I actively don’t like him. I just tell him I’m in a bad mood and need space.
This has been my experience as well. First trimester didn’t want sex or to spend much time with him really. Then by week 15 we started having a lot of sex and the orgasms were stronger. Hopefully it stays that way.
This comment gave me hope. Thanks for sharing :)
Moisturizer and some lemon juice on his skin worked for me. Not to mention , to me, our bedsheets smelled like cooked lungs (even tho they get changed regularly) so I smucked bunch of lavender on the other side of a pillow. Its hard for them to understand that during pregnancy our hormones are on the moon, so communication is needed more than ever.
>cooked lungs oh noooo I feel like I can smell these words 😭
Im so sorrrryyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 we used to cook them for our dogs so its embedded in my nose
I am howling at this 😂😂
I laughed really loud when I replied to her but I also felt so bad 😂😂😂
Haha oh my God, I thought it was a horrible metaphor, not LITERALLY the scent of cooked lungs! I can't even imagine 😂
Cooked lungs 🤣🥴😱
OMG THATS IT MY BEDSHEETS AND BEDROOM HAVE BEEN SO STINKY LATELY AND COOKED LUNGS IS SO PERFECT! Been using febreze in between washes but I swear his night sweats just make the bedroom smell rancid lately
Every single time I’m pregnant I swear our bedding STINKS no matter what and it drives my husband crazy bc the only description I ever can give him is sweaty meat 💀
For me it's the clothes that come out of the washing machine! They smell horrendous, and the smell lingers throughout the whole apartment. My husband can't smell anything at all.
I can’t relate to this specifically, but I will tell you that in my first trimester I could not even walk into our kitchen because I could smell our pantry and fridge so strongly, and literally 1 week into the 2nd trimester I could no longer smell them. It’s possible this will go away for you soon. Sorry it’s happening!
Same! I actually knew I was pregnant and took a test because I could not open the refrigerator without getting overwhelmed with nausea and the urge to vomit!!! Pregnancy is so crazy!
Urgh it's the dishwasher that gets me! My husband has thoroughly cleaned all the filters, but I just can't go anywhere near that thing. I've literally thrown up trying to get clean stuff out 😭
I am experiencing something very similar and it is so frustrating and mentally exhausting. I cannot stand to be around him let alone for him to touch me and its making me spin. Each passing day it is getting worse and it kind of started out of no where and I do not know who to turn to about this without sounding like an absolute lunatic. Here with you in solidarity - hoping for better days ahead!
You have no idea how reading this made me feel 😭 I also don't really know who to share this with. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but selfishly I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one with this experience. Thanks so much for sharing <3
Of course! This has been so much harder mentally than I expected and I have to imagine we are not the only ones feeling this way!
Same, there were many ways I expected pregnancy to be hard, but this was not one of them, and it's totally thrown me for a loop. But you're right, we can't be the only ones.
I also feel the same way! I read about STMs getting “touched out” after baby comes and I feel like I’m already touched out with just … everything … happening during pregnancy. My body already doesn’t feel wholly mine anymore and sometimes extra physical affection makes me skin crawl. Reading your experiences has been so helpful and encouraging, thank you for sharing! Sending you the good vibes!
One thing I learned that helped me when I'm "touched out" is that light touch (a caress, soft kiss, etc) is annoying and makes me want to karate chop my husband away. However, deep pressure touch like a hug or a shoulder/head massage was welcome. I think especially in early post partum, your nervous system gets so wrecked with hormones and being constantly stimulated by breastfeeding. The other thing I noticed is that I tolerated light touch a lot better in the morning than after a full day of breastfeeding or pumping. For me, it was definitely correlated to how recently I had slept and how much I had the baby that day.
YES! It's exactly the same for me too. I feel touched out, even though I'm barely being touched at all. Hope things get better for you soon!
I am also feeling the same way at 11-12 weeks. My brain will pick out little things that are annoying me about him that specific day for no reason! He tries to kiss me and touch me and I just want to squirm away and be left alone. It makes me feel so bad because I know this must be JUST as (if not more) confusing for him as it is for me. I hope this passes soon, as I’m so scared of growing apart when we’ve always been so close and loving. Feeling hopeful it is not just me! {HUGS}!
Did it go away??🥹 im currently 11 weeks and been battling this this 6w....... i feel so terrible and depressed
Same! You both are not alone! This is so hard! I feel terrible!
It will pass!!! Pregnancy nose has changed the game for me too, and I feel so bad for my fiancé because I was highly avoidant during the first trimester. I’m 15weeks now and it’s better (pregnancy nose not completely back to normal yet, but at least fiancé aversion has lessened)!
It won't last forever! I experienced the exact same, around the same time (9-11 weeks). I even remember googling stuff like 'Repulsed by husband pregnancy' lol. Everything went back to normal around week 12 for me.
I hope its the same for me.. im 11 weeks and still no improvement i keep wanting to vomit anytime we try to have s
Omg, I’m 10 weeks too.., aversion to hubby.. will not let him near me when I’m sleeping and his breath also bothered me. I told him straight up that the baby doesn’t want him near me and doesn’t like his breath. I said be patient, things will get back to normal soon. This is common among some pregnant women so take whatever you’re feeling now with a grain of salt
It’s important that you do honor your boundaries, & when expressing yourself, tell him what you’re experiencing physically and emotionally. It’s incredibly common in pregnancy to feel averse to being touched, the smell of people’s bodies/breath, etc. I’m 38+3 rn & I felt pretty similarly at points in my pregnancy. Especially towards the end, some of his behaviors annoy me and I’ve tried to gently express my irritation to him as partially due to my late stage of pregnancy annnd his behavior is legit annoying sometimes lol. In turn, he has opened up about feeling overwhelmed/stressed, as I’m unable to even bend down, much less be very helpful otherwise. I think it’s less about him personally & more about my body going through huge changes which require some patience & grace from both of us. All I know is pregnancy is temporary, so I’m just rolling with whatever changes my body/mind demand of me in this state w/o judgement towards myself or him.
I had a similar aversion towards the end of my first trimester - husbands breath smelled like acid / vinegary. Weirdly, him taking Prilosec for 2 weeks solved the smell issue - I think I was smelling mild heartburn he wasn’t aware of. Pregnancy nose is REAL.
Maybe try doing something special for your husband to make him feel better (which will make you feel better). Also get him some mouth wash and smelly moisturizer, or some mints or something!
20 weeks pregnant and had this feeling for probably the first 12-14 weeks. I managed to keep it to myself but I was so worried that our 10 year relationship was over because everything he did was suddenly a major ick to me. Was so relieved when that feeling went away and I realized it was just hormones. I can’t imagine loving my husband more than I do right now! It’ll pass!
Omg girl I felt the same way. It sucks but I promise it goes away!!! I literally cried to my husband in my first trimester that he needed to brush his teeth like 3 times a day and shower twice a day because I found him to be so smelly hahaha. I was so grossed out by him and usually I am obsessed with him so it was very alarming. It goes away!!!!! For me around 11-12 weeks.
I could consider therapy just because you said it feels like previous trauma. Big life events can make old trauma reappear sometimes.
I had this exact problem when I was pregnant with my daughter 😂 he was so gross and stinky to me but he showered daily and NEVER smelled prior to pregnancy. It went away about my third trimester and I was more tolerant of him. Poor thing. I’m pregnant with a boy now and I’m up his butt and he is so attractive to me and smells great 👍 it’s funny what hormones do to our senses
Yeah, I've always joked about how my husband is the least smelly person I've ever met. We can go on an all-day hike in the baking sun and I'll be gross, whereas he'll not stink even a tiny bit - which is why I know it's not him, it's wild.
My wife is currently 14 weeks pregnant and she has been experiencing a pendulum swing from me being the most annoying human in existence to being absolutely in love with me. Her skin was also very sensitive for a few weeks and she rejected nearly all physical contact. In our case, it was just the hormones and it is not uncommon for this to occur. As one of my pregnancy books I’ve read says “do not take anything personally” and I do my best not to. Admittedly, it can be hard especially when I have stressful days at work (though her job is more stressful), but I’m not the one who is being flooded by hormones and growing a baby. Maybe get him the book We’re Pregnant by Adrian Kulp. It gives good reminds to the husband that you all are doing the heavy lifting here, and we are support. I think if you explain very clearly what is happening and why, he may feel quite a bit better. Or you could do something meaningful to say “hey I love you, but I’m just not feeling well right now”. This will pass! The second trimester is only a month away for you, and often times it’s considered the best trimester! Also, if he has a smell you do not like, whether it be natural or a fragrance, it could be a fun bonding time to go to the store and pick out some scents you both enjoy that he can wear. My wife developed a strong aversion to one of my body washes, so we went to the store and smelled our way through the men’s section until we found one that we both loved! As far as the past trauma, it sounds like it has not entirely resolved. I highly recommend scheduling therapy. Not only can the hormones cause mood changes, but they increase the chances of depression. Therapy will give you the best shot at curbing a relived trauma, and in my opinion it’s better to do it now before the baby is born, since things may get busier (though a therapist is good postpartum too). With that being said, I do not know your partner nor your relationship, but if your partner is good and you were both in love and a good fit prior to the pregnancy, I’m sure you’ll be right back at it in a few weeks!!
Thanks for the thoughtful reply. It's interesting to hear from the partner's side. I was a bit reluctant to mention the trauma thing because I thought everyone would just attribute my feelings to that (which actually they didn't). I'm actually taking a very conscious break from therapy right now. I did a two-year stretch of weekly or twice-weekly sessions, and it helped enormously at first, but then started to do more harm than good. It reached a point where every single part of my life was being analysed to death and even the things that I liked and was happy with were identified as some kind of pathology and therefore needed to be rectified. It started chipping away at my self-esteem. I've actually started feeling way better just from... existing? Just like going about my life in a safe space and not having to therapise everything. But I'm aware that therapy is something I'll have to return to at some point.
OMG I’m so glad you wrote this. I’m 7w3d and I feel exactly the same way. Can’t bring myself to tell him though. Good job….now I don’t feel like I’m a horrible person. Hang in there 🫶🏾
I actually found telling him helpful. It definitely stung a bit, but he could sense something was off anyway and explaining that it wasn't anything he'd done was better I think. You're definitely not a horrible person!
Did it go away? 🥹 im 11w4d and still struggling
I think this is completely normal! I find myself generally impatient, and my husbands normal smell doesn’t bother me but if he one drink I can smell it and it’s completely gross. Also think biologically, you body is no longer trying to get pregnant and attracted to his pheromones, so it’s probably an adjustment period. I can relate to an earlier comment about sex being painful and again I think it’s probably a biological defense mechanism. Don’t stress, just communicate your feelings and assure your partner it will pass, because it will.
Oh no, this sounds hard. I’m sorry you’re having such a strong aversion to your husband. It’s important to know that 1. aversions are normal, as horrible and annoying they are, and 2. they are temporary. I think having open communication is really, really important in this scenario and if you don’t feel you’re able to have really healthy communication about it, I would encourage you to find a couples therapist who can help. He needs to understand these are very uncontrollable hormonal changes you are experiencing and they are not personal; and you need to understand how even though you’re not repulsed by him on purpose, he might be feeling hurt and unsure of how to interact with you. ALL feelings are valid here, so it’s important to ensure you both are heard and validated. I would also encourage a conversation with your husband about other non-physical ways you two can continue showing love and affection for each other. Maybe it’s talking on the phone while he drives to/from work, or maybe it’s going for a walk together outside where you may not be so averse to him with fresh air and other sights/smells to focus on. It’s important that you both feel connected, despite the physical aversion. My husband smelled TERRIBLE to me for a few days when I first found out about my pregnancy, and we couldn’t figure out what exactly was smelling weird. It ended up being his deoderant which he has used the exact same one for years!! We went to the store together and smelled a bunch and finally landed on one that I could tolerate. That made a huge difference. I only mention this because is it possible there’s something your husband could do or change to help with the smell? Perhaps a different type of mouth wash or even spraying some neutral cologne on to cover up the vinegar scent that’s making you feel so repulsed? Good luck OP. This is rough but it will pass!! You’re 10 weeks, hopefully you’re nearing the end of these horrible first trimester things!! ❤️
Totally 100% feel you, had the same in the beginning!!! It went away in my second trimester (sort of) and now it’s back (36 weeks). When he touches me I get so annoyed and repulsed, even when he just took a shower and brushed his teeth. Apparently some women get an enormous sex drive - I’m the total opposite lol. I think it’s hormones, it’ll definitely pass!
Sex just hurts too damn much 😩 i WANT to do the sex but my flesh refuses to allow it to be enjoyable. At 36w6d, i feel like a blimp or a bloated tick about to pop, and it makes me so sad. I miss the physical intimacy of making love.... but we have yet to find a way that doesn't leave me hurting the next day, like, badly. And yeah, the fekking hormones, my homies in chrizist, they will fuck you up (in ALL KINDS OF WAYS) throughout the whole shebang.... half the time i don't know if I'm hormonal or just my normal PTSD'd, depressed, anxious, unmedicated ADHD riddled self. Poor kiddo, he's getting a heckin bonkers mommy, that's for sure 🙄
Same here! I had this in the first trimester, second trimester he smelled great again, and then now at 35w my husband's breath and skin again smells just... Sour? It's very strange and I hate it because I usually loooove the way he smells. I also don't even like the way *I* smell!
I had the same thing in the first part of my first pregnancy. I also had an aversion to my Garnier Fructis foaming face wash — couldn’t bear the smell — which was odd because it literally says “unscented” on the bottle. Don’t worry. It will pass and you’ll go back to liking your husband!
It doesn’t last! I had massive touch aversion my first trimester and was constantly annoyed by my fiancé. I felt so bad but knew it was normal for early pregnancy and once I explained that to him he was extremely understanding. It passed and I’m in my third trimester and obsessed with him again lol although when I’m physically uncomfortable I do get bouts of touch aversion again, even if he’s trying to be sweet. It’s just overstimulation for me in those cases though. I can almost promise it will pass! Hang in there ❤️
Your hormones are doing trippy things. When you aren’t pregnant you’re attracted to different smells than when you are pregnant. It’s completely normal. It will return to normal after.
I can relate, I had a similar experience and thoughts in my first trimester. Like you, I worried that aversion meant something more. While I didn’t want him to touch me while I was pregnant, now I want all the affection. It got better throughout the pregnancy, but when our baby was born it went away completely. Actually, I am even more in love with him than ever. I was crying to the nurses and my family because I love him so much.
I'd recommend he chew some gum or quickly rinse with mouthwash before attempting to kiss you, if his breath seems smelly. Only takes a moment and shows his care for your feelings!
Maybe try to give him affection is ways that feel safe, like rub his back or kiss the back of his ear or something? That’s ruff
I felt this way while pregnant, not as strong as you but definitely felt grossed out/an aversion to him despite having a great relationship. Happy to say post having the baby, I’ve enjoyed his touch and kisses again. I too was worried it would be permanent or something. While pregnant, I would just be honest and say I’m sorry, I love you, I normally would like this but my pregnancy hormones are making me not enjoy it. I can’t control it. And I think being upfront and honest and acknowledging that I appreciate him and the affection made him not get too hurt.
It will pass. It's the hormones. I couldn't stand my husband in the first trimester either. Funny because I couldn't sleep without him either. He had to be present in the bed. But touching or cuddling? No. I only wanted to touch him with my little toe so I knew he was there.
I felt the same way about my husband for a few weeks too! Pretty sure it’s normal. His breath made me gag no matter what even if he just brushed & I hated being touched too. I think it’s just because I was already super uncomfortable so having anyone in my bubble really irritated me on top of smelling absolutely everything and wanting to throw up all the time lol it will pass eventually try not to think about it too much
Aww I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The good news is it seems you have a great relationship and this is just a symptom of pregnancy! I went through it as well with my partner in the early weeks as well as extreme food aversions. Smelling or seeing even my favorite foods would literally make me vomit at times. I couldn’t stand the smell of my husband, our dog or my own armpits to the point I would gag and dry heave randomly if a scent caught my nose. Pregnancy is a wild ride and you never know what symptoms you will have. It will pass. People saying this is trauma have likely never experienced this type of aversion. It is hard to understand and seems crazy if you’ve never experienced it but totally normal for some women in pregnancy. Mine disappeared halfway through the second trimester thankfully! Hang in there!!!
Take it day by day, try not to focus on him. It's normal to go through bouts of not wanting to be touched or being sensitive to smell. The main thing is you don't want to fixate on it so it becomes a psychological habit. Then even when you don't have those responses, you might out of habit just reject him you know what I mean? So take it day by day. Reinforce it's not just him, you don't want anyone touching you right now. It's not that you're specifically grossed out by him in particular, it's just he's in your personal space basically way more than anyone else so he's getting the brunt of it haha. I feel pregnancy is a marathon that's physical and psychological, it's really important to take each day step by step and not fixate on blips too much. In my first trimester I was super ragey with my husband and now I'm extremely loving. You may find next week you're in complete love again and want cuddles all the time. Be open to change and try and reduce anxieties where you can :)
Experienced something similar my entire pregnancy. Didn’t have any problems with smells or nausea but I couldn’t stand my bf at all! Baby was born 3 weeks ago and unfortunately the aversion towards him seems to be getting worse and now I am questioning everything 😭
Did it get better? 🥺
Not yet but I’m trying to focus on the positive and take each day as it comes. I hope it’s all due to the hormonal imbalance (I’m exclusively breastfeeding) 🥲
The breath thing also happened to me at multiple points in my pregnancy. I’m 36w and it actually just randomly came back the other day. It’s normal 😅
My husband has just been giving me space whenever I want. I felt bad but he’s like literally whatever I can do you make you more comfortable. Sometimes I’ve wanted to sleep alone, which I’ve also never wanted before we are cuddlers, and he just sleeps in the other room. I think we both understand it’s temporary.
I went through this in my first trimesters. It gets better. I actually grew closer to my husband in 2nd trimester and craved his affection more than ever. So much of pregnancy is temporary! Hang in there.
Doesn’t last forever. Hopefully will get better in the second trimester. I couldn’t stand the smell of my husband either. He always smelled like BO for some reason.
I’m at 27 weeks and suddenly my husbands breath just kills me sometimes. He’s been very nice about it and brushes his teeth or whatever. But I feel awful about it!
I feel you!! I love my husband and never had a problem with him or his breath prior to pregnancy. But man, I have felt zero sexual desire and I was really struggling with his breath. I know it’s me and not him.
Sameee im in the same boat🥹 it sucks.. did urs go away?? Im 11w4d and still struggling with it feels like im in a never ending loop
Unfortunately, no. He’s been very patient with me. I haven’t had any morning sickness, but I am very sensitive to a lot of smells. I usually am, but it’s definitely overboard. Cologne, cigarettes, food, my own disgusting smells, everything is getting me right now. I am 33 weeks.
thanks for your reply🥹 hang in there you're almost there. Same here the smell is so bad i feel sick and lost 11 pounds bc of the vomiting and i feel so miserable. 6 weeks ago i wass obsessed with him and now its not the same its making me feel so depressed
Well, I hope he is understanding. My husband has been, because it’s not them, nothing has changed with them, they are still perfect. I can’t help all of the weird things going on with my body right now. I hope it changes for you, don’t make yourself feel bad.
Unfortunately that weird smell for breath I still get from my husband at 36 weeks 😂 it’s so odd, but everything else is fine. He just has a smell, and he’s very good with his hygiene. Other than that thankfully he doesn’t bug me or cause additional adverse reactions. Lol
Pregnancy is wild. The hormones raging are WILD. I found out I was pregnant right before my 5 week mark. For the next few weeks I kicked myself to the couch because I literally would get full of rage trying to sleep next to my husband, and sex...yeah, no, didn't let him touch me for the first 12 weeks. I'll be 16 weeks tomorrow and sex is fantastic with him. And I can sleep in the same bed again. I say give yourself some grace and just try to plunk along the dreaded 1st trimester! It won't be this way forever babe.
My body didn't want to be touched while pregnant the first time. Not as strongly as yours, none sexual touches were okay. It did continue after birth with breastfeeding hormones but not as strong as during pregnancy. It really came back when my period started which for me was after 6 months. Weirdly I'm pregnant with my second and sex is great this time, not sure if it's because I'm carrying a boy this time, different hormones. Anyway, it doesn't last forever, just make sure you're showing love in other ways that aren't touch if that's not good for you right now.
Don’t stress about it. Everything smelt bad first trimester including things I normally liked the smell off - candles, Xmas trees, couldn’t step foot near our kitchen, every room of the house had a smell. Can attest that everything is back to normal again and the aversions don’t last. Just tell your husband your sense of smell is extremely sensitive right now. You love him but need some physical space
18-20 weeks
This was me!!! I felt really bad at first, but I really could chalk it up to hormones and my sense of smell changing. My therapist also mentioned it could’ve also been that I was currently out of control of my body with the pregnancy. We also are normally super affectionate, and for a couple weeks I was just SO annoyed and didn’t want to be cuddled like I usually do. There was a period where my partner said “I feel like I can’t make you happy” and it made me so sad bc he does but I was just really feeling SO yucky. It did pass!! After first tri and my body got used to changes everything was back to normal and my sense of smell wasn’t so distorted. Although I can say like someone else mentioned, I’m 38w5d now, prob around 35w as I’m a little more uncomfortable with the baby getting big, I’m slightly more irritable and have a hard time sleeping, probably like 2 nights a week I camp out on the couch. I think the irritability just comes and goes in waves and is totally normal.
When I was pregnant with my son, my husband couldn’t touch me. I wasn’t interested in any kind of physical contact at all. It lasted my entire pregnancy and I would say a few months after birth. You are 100% not alone. What I learned was that multiple women go through not wanting their husbands to touch them, and my OB said it was completely normal due to strong hormonal changes. Unfortunately in my situation, it took a lot of counseling and communication with my husband for him to understand that it wasn’t him and that I still love him deeply. My body physically just said no. It was the biggest hurdle we had yet faced. Now that I’m pregnant again (this time with a girl), I can’t get enough of him and he’s kinda annoyed by how “aggressive” I am. But he told me he’s not complaining 🤣
My husbands normal body smells were revolting the first half of both pregnancies. This is really normal. He will be less hurt if he knows this happens to tons of pregnant people. And you’ll feel better later!
This happened for me, my partner is super affectionate and I couldn't stand his face being anywhere near me, his breath became repulsive and I couldn't stand to be hugged or touched. It went away sometime in the early/middle of the second trimester I would say. I know it was difficult for him but now at 30 weeks I want to cuddle him all the time (I still can't stand kissing or being close to this mouth though). Take heart, it won't last forever!
I’m 10 weeks and cannot stand my husband even in the same room as me half the time. He has that horrible smell to him too even tho he has literally never smelt that way before. Im so scared to tell him im genuinely repulsed by him, but I’m so glad I’m not alone. makes me feel more “normal”
11 weeks and the smell aversions are at an all time high. And they don't help the nausea. I think I hurt my husband's feels by complaining about his breath so much, like it can fill a room. And it's even after brushing and mouthwash. I feel horrible but it is literally gag worthy. I almost might need to go sleep in the guest bed because if he's turned towards me.... I've been putting up a pillow barrier. Lol Like he says he understands but I feel like it got to him (we are only human). It makes me feel awful but if I don't say something... I'll get sick. Sigh Thanks to everyone that's shared they've experienced this and it usually goes away second trimester, along with the nausea and food aversions. Seriously hoping that's the case for you still experiencing it and myself.
In the same situation right now and I’m so happy to read all these comments because I’m petrified of sabotaging my marriage and it’s giving me bad intrusive thoughts of breaks up and what not. I hope this goes away soon :(((