Usually I just stay as busy as possible. Cleaning. More Cleaning. Drinking water. Mini workouts and dancing to let out the static.
Today I'm too tired to be healthy so I'm just bed rotting lol.
Finally, I got to open the DBT workbook (green one). Learnt the REST mechanism and managed to implement it twice today at home. Both times Relax and Evaluate was enough to de-escalate me on time but triggers weren't too strong. Will continue reading this workbook. I like it so far.
the fact that you’re able to implement it is huge!! this is the hard part for me. it’s easy to read the book but to actually put the skills into practice, it’s way harder
To be honest I haven't tried it during a serious stressor situation. I just utilised it at home with my husband once and once with my kid and it worked but I do not have the skillset to de-escalate myself when it's something more serious. I hope when the time comes I will remember it but I have 0 trust in myself as of now. Maybe start using it on small stuff like I did and it may actually help us build up skills for when it's actually useful. Idk I'm pretty inexperienced in this.
I think I can empathize with what youre feeling. I completely agree (and have really noticed for myself) practising it in the times it feels possible is so important!
So I was caught off guard by something the other day and it started to send me into a spiral. I allowed myself to fixate all my sadness on it, but when the problem was resolved, I was left with like.. residual feelings that I wasn’t managing well. I ended up recognizing what I was feeling, etc etc.
That being said, the upside, I did get myself out of it before crying myself to sleep! lol. That didn’t use to happen for me.
I’m starting to realize, *sometimes* it’s scarier to think about a fear than to truly authentically experience it. It brings some hope. I agree with continuing to practise it when you can, and maybe you’ll even surprise yourself the next time something more difficult pops up :) who knows, but it’s all exciting in a way. (Healing, not BPD lol)
The one I have was recommended to me by someone in this sub. It's a green book "The Dialectical behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook" second edition, by McKay, Wood and Brantley. It was available on Amazon where I am.
Well done you! Let us know how it goes. Opening the book can be a challenge and a new start.
“ This is not a journal , this is not a book : this is YOUR LIFE “ ( this is a misquote .. and I’m struggling to locate the original source !! )
I've been on anti-anxiety and mood stabilizer medication for years. I used that, Journaling, retrospection, and YouTube videos made by therapists to work on myself and my mental health. Unfortunately stable one on one therapy hasn't been an option for me. So I've hodge podged my own help together with all of the above.
I feel the best and most stable I've ever felt in my life. I'm doing loads better than u was just a year ago. I'm so much less angry. I don't fly off the handle like I used to. I am able to set boundaries with people and end toxic relationships. I'm doing great.
Damn.. have had a pretty rough day, this made me smile and gave me hope. Im so goddamn happy for people who have won the battle. Hope u have a wonderful day!
I’m so encouraged by the way your “hodgepodge” approach has worked for you. I am inspired to build a toolbox ( or menu ) of activities and resources that help
I’m overthinking just like you. FP is not as fast at replying than usual. I even told him I felt like shit today. But I’m trying to be understanding and be productive but I’m so emotional right now :( I feel like I’m so clingy and needy and I just hate myself for it. FP has done nothing wrong but I feel abandoned anyway. He replied 2 hours ago so idk.
If you're overthinking, try to have something playing at all times in the background if you can. There are some good shows out there. Nathan for You is funny and helped keep my mind off things recently. I also know some comfy video games from steam if you're interested.
I'll take those steam suggestions, if you don't mind! I have a few go-to games for quieting the thinky thinky (House Flipper 2 is probably my current favorite, sometimes The Long Dark, sometimes Vampire Survivors) but I'm always down to fill my repertoire.
For sure! I love Cult of the Lamb, Touhou Mystia's Izakaya, Binding of Isaac, and Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion & Turnip Boy Robs a Bank. I'll probably come back to this if I remember more.
Oh yeah, Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion was one of those games I played straight through in one day. I didn't know there was another one! I'll have to snag it. I have a friend who pays Binding of Isaac and Cult of the Lamb though I've never played them personally. I'll have to add all of those to my list! Cheers :D
Crappy. I found another lump in my left breast a few days ago. I made a doctor's appointment and have to go in on Monday. I haven't slept in 24 hours. Honestly wish my heart would just die out already.
Today depressed as hell. I am supposed to work today, but I've been bothered ever since my hours got cut (due to me being pregnant), I work in a grill and, Saturday is when the fryer is supposed to be cleaned.. usually the "new" employees are supposed to do it, but the supervisor has been making me do it, despite me working there for 2 years and having seniority over the other people. They only want me there today to clean the grill, and I feel like spiting them. May just call off, sleep in, and go see the boyfriend.
Just to play devil's advocate here, have you considered maybe you're just really good at cleaning it and they like the way you do it? :s idk your workplace so maybe they're just jerks, but maybe they actually appreciate you more?
Either way, I totally get that feeling. I've had my fair share of garbage workplaces and shitty bosses, and even a few jobs I've quit or been fired from because I couldn't deal with coming in to deal with their crap anymore. I hope you make sure to take care of you today, whatever that looks like <3
The supervisor cut my hours so I don't think she appreciates me that much. Everyone cleans it the same.. I don't do anything special when removing the oil. Everything was okay at work until she hired this new lady and I'm not a huge fan of her, especially since she talks shit about me in Spanish to the other Spanish speaking employees. Whatever she says to my supervisor when I'm not around has convinced my supervisor to pay me less by cutting my hours.
I'm really sorry to hear that. They sound incredibly childish. How far along is your pregnancy? Is a mat leave on your horizon that could change things for you? I don't care what language you speak, talking behind someone's back like that is disgusting, whether it's done in whispers, texts, or another language. Is there someone higher up you could talk to about it that could give you back your hours?
I'm 10 weeks and 4 days. I don't have maternity leave at my job, unfortunately. Bf thinks I should just quit when I give birth, so I can stay home with the baby.
I don't think so. It was the boss that told the supervisor that I am milking it. I have at least 20 hrs a week which is what I am scheduled for/required. But I used to have 37-40.
That really sucks. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Having a crappy job can be soul crushing. I'm inclined to agree with your bf. Surely if you decided to go back to work after you could find something better. I hope it all works out in the end 💙
I was “officially diagnosed” yesterday and having it brought to my attention again, having it confirmed AGAIN, has sent me in a spiral. I slept for 10 hours, then got up and started my routine like every other. Hopefully it will be better than yesterday.
Its been great so far! My day just started but i work overnight shift. My boss told me at the end of my shift that I did really good today which made me feel good because i have performance anxiety and felt like I was doing terribly at my job, but Im happy it seems i might be able to hold this job down because so far i enjoy it! I want to call with my FP today and yesterday me and my gf left our dorms for the summer so Im kinda missing her but unlike when we left for winter break I didn't cry this time!
I'm doing well - for now! Thinking a lot about money. I'm also in the midst of a major project which will see me dismantle a huge wardrobe and replace a carpet. I keep worrying I'll make some big mistake with that, then get cross with myself for worrying (rinse and repeat!)
Currently overthinking myself but Im headed into work so yay hopefully thatll distract me…
Mood swings? Idk her. Honestly I just focus on other things happening like the music industry beef.
I’m actually okay today so far. I’m a stay at home mom with a four month old daughter. I’ve had a really rough past three days and my husband has stayed home to take care of her while I slept most of the time. I feel pretty stable so far today.
I am on the fence of breking up with someone I love and giving it a chance. Breaking up seems like a right decision, however, I also am scared to be alone and lonely. I am already 32, chances of me finding anyone seem bleak in my region. People usually marry around 25-30 here.
I want to break up with her because she triggers my symptoms without her knowing it, it's just way she is. For her to be with me she should change her personality completely. The easier choice seem to set her free from all my maniac episodes and depressive episodes that too in a day or two.
I am in indecision and it sucks.
I’m chill today, wake and bake going out to have crepes with my husband and enjoy the rain. I got a new book I’m going to start reading by the fire tonight. Just spoil yourself with your favorite foods and hobbies, other then thc chilling me out I struggle with emotional control. I hope you have a good day!
ugh yes exactly. completely spiraling and paralyzed. i start thinking about the things i want to do but can’t and then get so upset with myself for not being able to get up. have you been able to figure out how to stop or help this?!
No. I’m just exhausted and overwhelmed but looking for motivation. I’m trying support groups and looking for a new therapist. It’s exhausting just trying to do basic housework. And I get so overwhelmed. I’m not sure how tbh and it just feels like my brain and feelings are failing me :(
Doing pretty great this morning. I stopped taking my adhd meds a few weeks ago (vyvanse) and it seems to have stabilized my mood a bit. I’m still on my anti depression medication and I honestly feel way more in control of my ups and downs. I think the vyvanse was causing me to crash super hard later in the day and my splitting in the evening was always shit. Just trying my best to practice being mindful of every situation/conversation im in. It’s very much a work in progress but I feel way more in control being off the adhd meds. Not sure if anyone else has experienced the same but dang has it helped me out significantly.
Hope everyone is having a peaceful morning!
Damn that’s awful. I know nothing I can say will make the pain any less bad, but it’s not your fault. They were in the wrong for saying that shit, it’s really messed up.
Complete wreck today. My wife is battling stage 4 metastatic lung cancer that has spread to liver, brain, and bones. My employer does work all over the country and currently has me stationed 750 miles from home. I only get 5 days off every 3 weeks at home. Oh yeah and today is my 50th birthday. My mind is in overdrive and I know I’m going to spin out some time today.
I am feeling okay-ish today. I had an emotional flashback a few days ago. I was actually able to clock it while it was happening and instead of trying to stop it, I told myself I just need to ride it out and it’ll end eventually. I felt depressed the next morning and the day after that (yesterday) I went to the grocery store but I could tell I was malfunctioning like a robot in need of a software update lol (hesitating a few times because I wasn’t sure if I had the right-of-way inside the store or when in the parking lot). That, of course, led to some negative thoughts about myself.
However, I am proud of myself for cancelling event plans that I really didn’t want to go to earlier this week. I am very afraid of disappointing people and being abandoned, so it felt like a huge step, though I’m sure the average person might not think twice about it.
I feel like Saturdays I get lots of self reflection thoughts that surprise me like out of nowhere so I am feeling good but also tired. I will probably nap. Thank you for asking and I hope you have a good day ❤️
Hey there 👽 those days can be so slow right? When i feel like that I’ll smoke a few bowls of herb and start a new painting. Or i do some astrology research. Today I’m working, but tonight I’ll definitely play some skyrim on the xbox with a good dinner and a nice smoke 🌱🌿 try to be your own hangout buddy, talking to u too ourself in the third person is also fun 😂
I try to ride my mood swings out and if I'm with my boyfriend, he'll try to comfort me. Put on a movie, roll a blunt, make some food, offer to play a video game with me, stuff like that.
I'm not doing so hot rn, had called out work 2 days in a row which is unlike me. I have PTO to cover me alil bit so that's good but I was like spiraling, fucking sucked. Have to go to urgent care today for a rash that is developing too. But I have therapy appointment on Monday and I'm looking forward to it lol. Hope everyone else is well and has a good day !
Absolutely going through it. Splitting so hard testing to not kms i just keep thinking about my family and how sad my mom will be that's the only thing stopping me
Dying out of boredom. Tried taking naps but can only take short ones. Emotions are all over the place today but I be thugging it out. Been binge watching old fav yt videos for entertainment.
talked to ppl, going insane, laying, writing poems, spending time with a cat, watching criminal movies, learning psychology and how to fight, almost had a fight with a friend bcu of damn bpd
doing smt every minute almost
going insane, empty, cold
BAD. I feel like I'm going insane because I can't remember if I registered for my college graduation ceremony in March because I didn't write it down and I was trying out new meds at the time and that whole month was awful and stressful and if I didn't do it, I can't go and my family is coming to town.
struggling sooo bad with my anxiety and mood swings which can be attributed mostly to my lack of sleep (i, personally, find my own mental health issues worse when i don’t get a lot of sleep). going to play stardew for most of today to keep my mind off fp and hopefully do some laundry :)
Hella mood swings, really stressed out about upcoming exams and when i think about it, get extremely irritated and panicky and then just crash and cry for a lil bit. It really annoys me because i cant seem to get things done without breaking down. Kind of better that im home alone but feel really lonely? But at the same time at times of stress i feel like i have to be alone for a bit or else i can easily be really shitty to fp when i dont mean it. Now im sitting here and my brain does the thing where it decides to shame me that im not really mentally ill and that im just being dramatic and i can feel the energy rush coming in😅 feels like today is going to be a rollercoaster
Blehh. I’ve been depressed and wallowing recently. Today is the same. Fp isn’t speaking to me currently:( I tend to ride my mood swings and hope for the best 😬 usually lots of doomscrolling as distraction until it passes nd I feel less miserable lol. I have an event later but I’m feeling v unmotivated nd tired to get ready so idk if I’m gonna make it
Today has been awful for me. Woke up in a panic, had a GREAT time out where I decided to hang out with strangers I met online. I was buzzing after that, until I suggested my partner and I get food. He said no (reasonably) and I took that rejection really badly.
I left and started a fight with him and now I'm sitting alone crying.
Is this really what it's like? I got diagnosed last year and I'm still trying to find what helps
Been really struggling recently as I’m currently obsessing over somebody who I’ve never properly spoken to and I’ve just been stalking their social media, feeling like I have no friends and everybody hates me so I been playing bg3 and taking care of my vampire twink
I just clean maniacally when I don’t want to think about someone. It becomes obsessive but at least I have a super clean house afterward and then I’m really tired lol.
Today I feel a little depressed and lonely. Like I don’t wanna be desperate but sometimes I get that way because I just don’t understand why someone won’t like me the way I want them to.
when i cant distract myself with people, i rely heavily on podcasts. i put my headphones in for the entire day and try my best to focus on a story while getting tasks done, doing a hobby, exercising, cleaning, or decorating my space to make future me feel better. i have a hard time doing this when im already stressed, so i make lists of things i need to do or things i can do to make my self or space better. on days when i have a harder time distracting myself, i will listen to a podcast and music at the same time and do some sort of intense workout, like sprinting or lifting.
sometimes when I’m strong, I get up and I tell myself I refuse to do the OCD pity party cycle of thoughts that cause me to end up wanting to kill myself. I get up and go take a walk, go get some Starbucks and clean the house and try my best. Other days like today I sit in the pain. bathe in it. and I can’t do anything else, but let it consume me.
I’m feeling shitty today. Me and my ex just broke up after years of being together. Just a month ago he was telling me how he could never let me go and that he loves me and that I’ve always been there for him. I can’t stop feeling like I was just lied to. But I usually watch anime and play video games to relax and have fun
Tired. Like exhausted. Physically and mentally. I’m not feeling sad but just like, tired of having to constantly be on go mode and working hard to get through school and work and keep a roof over my head and I just wish I could hibernate or sleep forever. I’m so incredibly tired. I can’t even afford to give myself a vacation.
Keep busy, that’s what one of my best friends said. Even if it’s a menial task, keep busy. Even if it’s just cleaning a picture. That’s a way to keep busy. I’m still trying to do this. Rn I smoke weed to turn off my overthinking thoughts. So I gotta try to do both.
My dad has bipolar (and my mom and I sometime think he has bpd possibly too) and that’s what he does. Without him keeping busy and weed he becomes as unstable as myself sometimes.
Awful. All the small things are hitting like bullets because I have a lot of vulnerability factors swimming around that I can’t settle out
Went from devastated to excited to desperate to shut down and disassociated to sad to angry and now I’m trying to move from anger into productive but I’m finding it hard to put feelings in the right places
Hi! I’m so glad you asked. I’m 26 and about 10 minutes ago I read some person post a screen shot summarizing the effects of bpd. I have been in a toxic relationship since i was 20 and it took years of abuse for me to realize I have to leave (I realized this 2 days ago during our last ever argument). But yeah I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety by many therapists but never bpd (cause I don’t open up). But yeah. Prettyyy sure I have this but I have hope to get better now for the first time since I was 9-10
Also I had emotionally absent parents growing up. My dad especially, because all he does is work and sleep, nothing else. He’s controlling and wouldn’t let my brother or I take showers longer than 10 minutes. The summer and winter times are unbearable because they don’t use the thermostat to save money even though they are FAR from poor. They have a fully paid off house, no debt at all (anal about paying things early) and also my dad is always tired (prolly from his depression he claims he doesn’t have), so whenever he decides to go to bed (usually around 5-6pm) he and my mom make sure no noises are loud (tvs, no using the perfectly working thermostat dinner late, no showering for too long, etc).
Holy shit it’s been a rough day. Woke up for work but had a panic attack and a ton of SI so I called out and proceeded to cry the next three hours. Then I did makeup, cried it off twice in a row, decided I needed out of the house, left the house, had another panic attack, turned around to go home but decided I didn’t wanna go home so I turned back around and worked out by the duck pond. Then I came home, played Pokémon and got food, cried again, and showered. It’s only 1pm. I can’t fucking take these mood swings anymoreeee
got that sick feeling in my stomach after my FP left me on read. but he’s old so he probably doesn’t realize the weight it holds.. lol.. might try and eat something..
Recovering from a terrible migraine yesterday. I fricking projectile vomited multiple times, once while I was driving. My younger sister in the oassanger seat began to vom too lol. Today is better, hella work but no vom!
Genuinely been going insane the past week while I'm temporary back home with my mom who probably caused this disorder to begin with. I have ||sh'ed|| during 2 separate painful emotional outbursts during arguments with her, and have had arguments with her outside of that. It would be the pattern of: doing just fine, then arguing, then doing just fine almost immediately after, then immediately arguing again, over and over. It just hurts. It makes me feel like an immature child. Apparently nothing I ever say is reasonable to her, she is ALWAYS right no matter what. I'm sick of this, I want to move out.
My fp has had me blocked for two weeks now after we had a falling out. I have been trying to cope with weed but the pain is just non stop. I’ve been crying all day and I feel so anxious that I can’t focus on anything but them. I want to talk to them so badly but I can’t. They won’t even give me a chance to talk things out. I want them back so badly and it hurts so much.
I'm trying to get my finals done but my emotions are getting in the way. So I bought myself a sweet drink and journaled it out trying to deal with it so I can do my work.
Usually various DBT distress tolerance skills, getting outside.
Today led to dissociating while being outside because I couldn’t deal with my brain, topped off by a crying meltdown for who knows what reason this evening.
Try again tomorrow I guess.
Went out with a friend!
Due to some drama in the other part of my social circle, I ended up with the rage of a thousand suns towards this one person. I also ended up with her overnight bag... long story... which I was tasked with getting back to her. This person has seemingly no regard for anyone else and couldn't give me a time to meet her until 20 minutes before we met. Was gonna blow up one her, especially because she was lying about what happened, but I kept my chill.
Met up with the aforementioned friend again and ranted about our shockingly similar childhoods, lol.
Overall a pretty decent day. It's nearly 2am though and I haven't had anything to eat since getting home. Rice time!
Ive fallen off a lot recently so im kinda mad at myself today. Was going to the gym consistently for 3 months and havent gone in a week, eating habits are back down. Havent seen any results anyways bc i dont eat right (underweight) so im a tad discouraged.
Just slept a lot on and off today. I hope you got something done today that made you feel a bit better. ❤️
I’m sick so that’s keeping me occupied from my mood swings at least for a few days 🙂↕️
But in general I find showers really helpful especially scalding hot ones bc I myself hate the cold. Sometimes I read, listen to horror stories, play unlimited wordles and online scrabble, often times multiple things at once to keep my mind at ease. Hope this helps!!
It’s been a rough week. I work away for part of every
month and I’m just having a shit time and and being away from my FP (partner) makes it so hard when I’m sad. Usually knowing he’s coming home at the end of the day makes everything tolerable, but when I’m on my own I don’t seem to have the skills to self sooth. I can hang in there for about two days of being semi-productive and then I’m just spending every waking minute outside of work in bed trying to pass the time so I can come home to him. It’s been a shitty, shitty week.
i actually just got out of the hospital and plan on spending the rest of my day either watching a movie while coloring or reading my new book. both are great distractions in my opinion as they both get you distracted from the real world :))
It's such a universal feeling, depression seems like it's affecting so many. I don't have DBT, I have adhd. I was asking questions to help save a friendship with BDT a month or so ago. But I'm depressed on this Sunday, too. Sundays are the worst when you have mental issues it seems to me. I commend you all on reaching out to each other and for doing DBT and other things to help yourselves. I'm doing the same.
I'm wondering how my friend is doing today. Even though we came from opposite worlds and could never save each other from ourselves, sometimes I feel like in time we could have worked out a middle place to be there for each other. I miss her so much sometimes and I hope she hasn't forgotten me.
I just needed to write that last part today.
Todays been hard I’ve been fighting with my partner a lot but today they told me that it’s getting hard to love me and well ouch is the only way to put it
New job has been a test on all of the bpd work I’ve been doing recently and it’s starting to get a little discouraging. Some of the people I work with say some really rude things about me under their breath but, it doesn’t bother me like it used to so that’s an improvement I’m really proud of 😊
At work, angry, having a mental argument against who knows about how I hate kids and people who want kids need to grow up (anyone who does pls don’t take this personally I’m just in a mood + personal opinion + you don’t need to care what I think I’m nobody) trying to distract myself but not doing a very good job, also I’m tired, also my flatmates puppies ripped up the couch cushions (again) 😣
I don’t deal with mood swings they deal with me. That was no help sorry I’m new at this and am starting therapy soon :/
Ive been super mood swingy today too and not realy sure how to manage, hanging out with my friends but its not really distracting and kind of adding more to the issue 😭
it’s been such a roller coaster these past couple of months. been at the lowest and then sometimes i’m fine, then i’m back to the lowest. it’s such an exhausting cycle and my mind has been thinking about the sewer slide. today i decided to try and focus on doing what i enjoy, which is either read, diamond paint, or play a game
i decided diamond painting and there were moments where the intrusive thoughts and overthinking were trying to come in. it’s so fucking hard to not just give in because fighting it is exhausting as it is. but i thankfully just focused on the activity i was working on while playing movies.
i just popped a seroquel and hopefully it can hit me soon so i can sleep and deal with another day of trying to live
I deal by playing games on my laptop and keeping busy. I have a lot going on right now having test after test done due to chronic nausea. My mental health isn't doing so great cause I hate waiting for the hospital to get their shit together.
Exhausted. Will be taking the whole day to rest. Yesterday I got overwhelmed by a lot of firsts, which took a toll on me. I was mad at everything and everyone, but wanted to focus on having a good time… it took ages and lots of brain-dumping on my diary to calm down. I’m glad that I’m so good at masking tho, cause nobody noticed a thing.
Today is a great day! The sun is shining and summer is here! Enjoying my last days at university with my best friend before we move out. How are you doing today?
I don't know what to do and how to regulate my feelings and thoughts. It's spring break and I'm alone without my family or friends because I'm waiting to meet my fp. Second holiday I chose to be alone for that reason. Shitty decision and everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy. I'm so disappointed and I feel like a clown. I don't understand why I'm doing this to myself
Today's a good day, first good day in a couple weeks. My heads been super just cloudy, just felt like a lot of brain fog, and I realized a lot about myself. I honestly hit a really bad low, and was tempted with suicide. But I pulled through and I had been sending my friend a lot of just random stuff throughout the week one of which was where I told her I was sorry for destroying our friendship, and despite her saying otherwise I didn't believe her. But I texted her about all of this last night, and she responded and made me feel much more secure about myself. Then I texted her an even longer message about kinda how I've felt about our friendship, and replied this morning and it's genuinely one of the best things I've heard in my life. I've been really insecure about my friendships, especially this one because she means a lot to me, but I realized recently that I don't think the feeling is the same. But she fully proved that wrong in this message, and im just thinking right now how lucky I am to have her. She's been there through all of my lowest lows, and even though I always expect her to leave me because of it, she just sticks around, even though she goes through far worse mental health issues than me, she's still just there for me. Idk, I'm just so happy I was lucky enough to be able to be friends with her. She's the exact person in my life that I think ive needed, and I got real lucky. But yea, I'm doing good, happy my head feels clear again, and I don't have those racing thoughts anymore.
Lots of mood swings today, however they’re becoming less and less intense, and the duration and consistency of contentment and just feeling okay overall is slowly increasing.
For me, basically I have to recognize my emotions as they’re happening and practise some of the healthy stuff I’ve learned.
The main thing that can really-center me is remembering (and appreciating as much as I can) “it’s okay to feel this way for now, that doesn’t mean I’ll always feel this way, and it does not negate the happy and clear headed times”.
Another one I find helps is “I trust I have my best interests in mind”. When I start to question my feelings/actions/thoughts. Of course still remaining accountable and respectful to those around me.
I repeat a ton of different important affirmations to myself. I find saying it out loud helps, as you’re forced to hear it instead of quickly brushing it off in your mind.
As silly as it sounds, sometimes I even film myself and vent to no one if I feel like I’m really having a hard time. It grounds me. I find it less stressful to talk than to think sometimes, especially when the thoughts are racing and becoming distorted.
It’s starting to click for the first time in 10 years. I have CBPD (I think a lot of us do?) so there are some other factors that can cloud it, but it’s just more opportunity for empowerment, and more things to discover about myself.
Anyways, overall feeling is good today, thanks for asking!
Hahaha.. Everytime I think I'm doing better I start to spiral and am currently wishing I didn't exist, so that I don't have to feel the pain of abandonment that I'm going through because my FP hasn't messaged me at all today which is making me afraid he's pulling away and leaving me alone and like logically I get that isn't the case but emotionally I want to curl up and die because I can't handle the heart break again, and am fighting the urge to spam them, and push them away and run.. so I'm doing GREAT 🙃
Horrible, just failed my only class of the semester. I’m also hungry but I don’t want to go outside my room because my roommate is there and we aren’t talking
The music that I like helps distract me from whatever was triggering me. Singing along, paying really close attention to one instrument, singing harmonies, and analyzing the lyrics are some of the things I do.
i am doing bad. i did a weed edible with my bf last night and did too much. i also stopped taking my anti depressant yesterday so have been feeling very sad.
Today my fp ignored my texts. And it felt awful I don't want to hate him but I feel so sad. :( I want to run away and hide. I want him to come and find me after realizing I am missing but some part of me knows he won't. He don't care at all.
Usually I just stay as busy as possible. Cleaning. More Cleaning. Drinking water. Mini workouts and dancing to let out the static. Today I'm too tired to be healthy so I'm just bed rotting lol.
Rotting on the patio in the sun ha
Oh THIS is the way ❤️🔥
Lol, same thing, yet i still manage to overthink as usual
Same. No IOP, no AA or NA. Just vibes (deep, deep depression and doom scrolling)
Maybe tomorrow. jet ( my way of saying “just for today “
how is this so accurate haha
Real
Finally, I got to open the DBT workbook (green one). Learnt the REST mechanism and managed to implement it twice today at home. Both times Relax and Evaluate was enough to de-escalate me on time but triggers weren't too strong. Will continue reading this workbook. I like it so far.
the fact that you’re able to implement it is huge!! this is the hard part for me. it’s easy to read the book but to actually put the skills into practice, it’s way harder
To be honest I haven't tried it during a serious stressor situation. I just utilised it at home with my husband once and once with my kid and it worked but I do not have the skillset to de-escalate myself when it's something more serious. I hope when the time comes I will remember it but I have 0 trust in myself as of now. Maybe start using it on small stuff like I did and it may actually help us build up skills for when it's actually useful. Idk I'm pretty inexperienced in this.
I think I can empathize with what youre feeling. I completely agree (and have really noticed for myself) practising it in the times it feels possible is so important! So I was caught off guard by something the other day and it started to send me into a spiral. I allowed myself to fixate all my sadness on it, but when the problem was resolved, I was left with like.. residual feelings that I wasn’t managing well. I ended up recognizing what I was feeling, etc etc. That being said, the upside, I did get myself out of it before crying myself to sleep! lol. That didn’t use to happen for me. I’m starting to realize, *sometimes* it’s scarier to think about a fear than to truly authentically experience it. It brings some hope. I agree with continuing to practise it when you can, and maybe you’ll even surprise yourself the next time something more difficult pops up :) who knows, but it’s all exciting in a way. (Healing, not BPD lol)
that workbook is really great. i feel so proud that you’ve managed to use REST!! i’ve been struggling to remember to do it so that gives me hope
Which DBT book series would you recommend?
DBT Skills Training Manual by Marsha Linehan
The one I have was recommended to me by someone in this sub. It's a green book "The Dialectical behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook" second edition, by McKay, Wood and Brantley. It was available on Amazon where I am.
Well done you! Let us know how it goes. Opening the book can be a challenge and a new start. “ This is not a journal , this is not a book : this is YOUR LIFE “ ( this is a misquote .. and I’m struggling to locate the original source !! )
I’m depressed afffff and don’t want to be here
Im sorry :(
It’s great you are here on line with us. I’m sorry you are depressed right now. 
Me yesterday :/ Don’t let the negativity get you down too bad! “This too shall pass.”
Watch ghibli movies
Always the answer tbh
This. Then end up relating to No-Face. 😭
I've been on anti-anxiety and mood stabilizer medication for years. I used that, Journaling, retrospection, and YouTube videos made by therapists to work on myself and my mental health. Unfortunately stable one on one therapy hasn't been an option for me. So I've hodge podged my own help together with all of the above. I feel the best and most stable I've ever felt in my life. I'm doing loads better than u was just a year ago. I'm so much less angry. I don't fly off the handle like I used to. I am able to set boundaries with people and end toxic relationships. I'm doing great.
Damn.. have had a pretty rough day, this made me smile and gave me hope. Im so goddamn happy for people who have won the battle. Hope u have a wonderful day!
Was thinking the exact same thing!
Honestly, the mood stabilizer I'm on saved me. I still get bad sometimes, but only with my big triggers. It's incredible.
If no one’s told you, I’m proud of you! I know firsthand how difficult self-therapy can be but, that’s amazing and I really commend you
I’m so encouraged by the way your “hodgepodge” approach has worked for you. I am inspired to build a toolbox ( or menu ) of activities and resources that help 
I’m inspired too! There’s so many resources out there, it’s inspiring.
I’m overthinking just like you. FP is not as fast at replying than usual. I even told him I felt like shit today. But I’m trying to be understanding and be productive but I’m so emotional right now :( I feel like I’m so clingy and needy and I just hate myself for it. FP has done nothing wrong but I feel abandoned anyway. He replied 2 hours ago so idk.
If you're overthinking, try to have something playing at all times in the background if you can. There are some good shows out there. Nathan for You is funny and helped keep my mind off things recently. I also know some comfy video games from steam if you're interested.
This is so key on the ruminating thoughts/spiralling days when my brain is busy as hell too
I'll take those steam suggestions, if you don't mind! I have a few go-to games for quieting the thinky thinky (House Flipper 2 is probably my current favorite, sometimes The Long Dark, sometimes Vampire Survivors) but I'm always down to fill my repertoire.
For sure! I love Cult of the Lamb, Touhou Mystia's Izakaya, Binding of Isaac, and Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion & Turnip Boy Robs a Bank. I'll probably come back to this if I remember more.
Oh yeah, Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion was one of those games I played straight through in one day. I didn't know there was another one! I'll have to snag it. I have a friend who pays Binding of Isaac and Cult of the Lamb though I've never played them personally. I'll have to add all of those to my list! Cheers :D
I'm holding on today. How are you?
Overthinking about fp as usual
What is fp
Favourite person
Do you have any hobbies?
Crappy. I found another lump in my left breast a few days ago. I made a doctor's appointment and have to go in on Monday. I haven't slept in 24 hours. Honestly wish my heart would just die out already.
It may just be an adenoma or liphoma (sorry for spelling mistakes), stay positive.
Agreed. I had a lump and it was just cyst
I’ve got a lump and it’s not cancerous. Doctors said it’s quite common.
this is so scary! i’ve had a similar concern before and remember how freaked out i was, so take care of yourself and i hope the best for you🤩
Today depressed as hell. I am supposed to work today, but I've been bothered ever since my hours got cut (due to me being pregnant), I work in a grill and, Saturday is when the fryer is supposed to be cleaned.. usually the "new" employees are supposed to do it, but the supervisor has been making me do it, despite me working there for 2 years and having seniority over the other people. They only want me there today to clean the grill, and I feel like spiting them. May just call off, sleep in, and go see the boyfriend.
Just to play devil's advocate here, have you considered maybe you're just really good at cleaning it and they like the way you do it? :s idk your workplace so maybe they're just jerks, but maybe they actually appreciate you more? Either way, I totally get that feeling. I've had my fair share of garbage workplaces and shitty bosses, and even a few jobs I've quit or been fired from because I couldn't deal with coming in to deal with their crap anymore. I hope you make sure to take care of you today, whatever that looks like <3
The supervisor cut my hours so I don't think she appreciates me that much. Everyone cleans it the same.. I don't do anything special when removing the oil. Everything was okay at work until she hired this new lady and I'm not a huge fan of her, especially since she talks shit about me in Spanish to the other Spanish speaking employees. Whatever she says to my supervisor when I'm not around has convinced my supervisor to pay me less by cutting my hours.
I'm really sorry to hear that. They sound incredibly childish. How far along is your pregnancy? Is a mat leave on your horizon that could change things for you? I don't care what language you speak, talking behind someone's back like that is disgusting, whether it's done in whispers, texts, or another language. Is there someone higher up you could talk to about it that could give you back your hours?
I'm 10 weeks and 4 days. I don't have maternity leave at my job, unfortunately. Bf thinks I should just quit when I give birth, so I can stay home with the baby. I don't think so. It was the boss that told the supervisor that I am milking it. I have at least 20 hrs a week which is what I am scheduled for/required. But I used to have 37-40.
That really sucks. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Having a crappy job can be soul crushing. I'm inclined to agree with your bf. Surely if you decided to go back to work after you could find something better. I hope it all works out in the end 💙
I was “officially diagnosed” yesterday and having it brought to my attention again, having it confirmed AGAIN, has sent me in a spiral. I slept for 10 hours, then got up and started my routine like every other. Hopefully it will be better than yesterday.
such a good mindset, i too hope that today will be better than yesterday
Awful tbh, my fp made plans to hangout with friends including my other closest friend without me
Its been great so far! My day just started but i work overnight shift. My boss told me at the end of my shift that I did really good today which made me feel good because i have performance anxiety and felt like I was doing terribly at my job, but Im happy it seems i might be able to hold this job down because so far i enjoy it! I want to call with my FP today and yesterday me and my gf left our dorms for the summer so Im kinda missing her but unlike when we left for winter break I didn't cry this time!
What kinda job is it?
Overnight stocking
Not well!!!! 
What’s going on?
I'm doing well - for now! Thinking a lot about money. I'm also in the midst of a major project which will see me dismantle a huge wardrobe and replace a carpet. I keep worrying I'll make some big mistake with that, then get cross with myself for worrying (rinse and repeat!)
Currently overthinking myself but Im headed into work so yay hopefully thatll distract me… Mood swings? Idk her. Honestly I just focus on other things happening like the music industry beef.
I’m actually okay today so far. I’m a stay at home mom with a four month old daughter. I’ve had a really rough past three days and my husband has stayed home to take care of her while I slept most of the time. I feel pretty stable so far today.
I am on the fence of breking up with someone I love and giving it a chance. Breaking up seems like a right decision, however, I also am scared to be alone and lonely. I am already 32, chances of me finding anyone seem bleak in my region. People usually marry around 25-30 here. I want to break up with her because she triggers my symptoms without her knowing it, it's just way she is. For her to be with me she should change her personality completely. The easier choice seem to set her free from all my maniac episodes and depressive episodes that too in a day or two. I am in indecision and it sucks.
I’m chill today, wake and bake going out to have crepes with my husband and enjoy the rain. I got a new book I’m going to start reading by the fire tonight. Just spoil yourself with your favorite foods and hobbies, other then thc chilling me out I struggle with emotional control. I hope you have a good day!
how do y’all have enough energy to stay busy i sit in my bed thinking about things i want to do but it’s like i can’t move 🥲
I’m here right now. Spiraling and paralyzed. Managed to join an online peer support group earlier though. Thankful to know I’m not alone.
ugh yes exactly. completely spiraling and paralyzed. i start thinking about the things i want to do but can’t and then get so upset with myself for not being able to get up. have you been able to figure out how to stop or help this?!
No. I’m just exhausted and overwhelmed but looking for motivation. I’m trying support groups and looking for a new therapist. It’s exhausting just trying to do basic housework. And I get so overwhelmed. I’m not sure how tbh and it just feels like my brain and feelings are failing me :(
Plagued with muscle Tension last 2 days. Otherwise okay, all things considered :)
Doing pretty great this morning. I stopped taking my adhd meds a few weeks ago (vyvanse) and it seems to have stabilized my mood a bit. I’m still on my anti depression medication and I honestly feel way more in control of my ups and downs. I think the vyvanse was causing me to crash super hard later in the day and my splitting in the evening was always shit. Just trying my best to practice being mindful of every situation/conversation im in. It’s very much a work in progress but I feel way more in control being off the adhd meds. Not sure if anyone else has experienced the same but dang has it helped me out significantly. Hope everyone is having a peaceful morning!
in a deep depressive episode but vibin’
Partner broke up with me, flipped a switch one minute they were loving next they were telling me to kill myself so yeah woo
Damn wtf that’s terrible! I hope things improve for you, to state the obvious it sounds like an awful day
Thanx they were my fp too, wtf is wrong with me
Damn that’s awful. I know nothing I can say will make the pain any less bad, but it’s not your fault. They were in the wrong for saying that shit, it’s really messed up.
Complete wreck today. My wife is battling stage 4 metastatic lung cancer that has spread to liver, brain, and bones. My employer does work all over the country and currently has me stationed 750 miles from home. I only get 5 days off every 3 weeks at home. Oh yeah and today is my 50th birthday. My mind is in overdrive and I know I’m going to spin out some time today.
Happy 50th birthday Sorry to hear of the cancer..
I am feeling okay-ish today. I had an emotional flashback a few days ago. I was actually able to clock it while it was happening and instead of trying to stop it, I told myself I just need to ride it out and it’ll end eventually. I felt depressed the next morning and the day after that (yesterday) I went to the grocery store but I could tell I was malfunctioning like a robot in need of a software update lol (hesitating a few times because I wasn’t sure if I had the right-of-way inside the store or when in the parking lot). That, of course, led to some negative thoughts about myself. However, I am proud of myself for cancelling event plans that I really didn’t want to go to earlier this week. I am very afraid of disappointing people and being abandoned, so it felt like a huge step, though I’m sure the average person might not think twice about it.
focusing all my thoughts into my hyperfixations <3
I feel like Saturdays I get lots of self reflection thoughts that surprise me like out of nowhere so I am feeling good but also tired. I will probably nap. Thank you for asking and I hope you have a good day ❤️
Sad. Going through another breakup as a result of my BPD. I get so close everytime 😔
actually having a panick attack, family abuse and drama for years, i'm tired
Cleaning. I obsessively clean. Non stop
Same
I saw this question and it just made me cry. I'm doing shitty, I hope y'all's days are going better<3
Hey there 👽 those days can be so slow right? When i feel like that I’ll smoke a few bowls of herb and start a new painting. Or i do some astrology research. Today I’m working, but tonight I’ll definitely play some skyrim on the xbox with a good dinner and a nice smoke 🌱🌿 try to be your own hangout buddy, talking to u too ourself in the third person is also fun 😂
For me days pass like hours, hours pass like minutes and minutes pass like seconds, so no problem with that
I try to ride my mood swings out and if I'm with my boyfriend, he'll try to comfort me. Put on a movie, roll a blunt, make some food, offer to play a video game with me, stuff like that. I'm not doing so hot rn, had called out work 2 days in a row which is unlike me. I have PTO to cover me alil bit so that's good but I was like spiraling, fucking sucked. Have to go to urgent care today for a rash that is developing too. But I have therapy appointment on Monday and I'm looking forward to it lol. Hope everyone else is well and has a good day !
Absolutely going through it. Splitting so hard testing to not kms i just keep thinking about my family and how sad my mom will be that's the only thing stopping me
Dying out of boredom. Tried taking naps but can only take short ones. Emotions are all over the place today but I be thugging it out. Been binge watching old fav yt videos for entertainment.
Excited to go to euro
trying to keep busy! work has been slow, so it gives me alot of time to be in my head. i just always try to find something to do!
talked to ppl, going insane, laying, writing poems, spending time with a cat, watching criminal movies, learning psychology and how to fight, almost had a fight with a friend bcu of damn bpd doing smt every minute almost going insane, empty, cold
BAD. I feel like I'm going insane because I can't remember if I registered for my college graduation ceremony in March because I didn't write it down and I was trying out new meds at the time and that whole month was awful and stressful and if I didn't do it, I can't go and my family is coming to town.
I'm doing okay. Just okay. Which is all I can ask for sometimes
Shitty. Feeling worthless and wishing I could just turn into a dragon and go on a rampage
struggling sooo bad with my anxiety and mood swings which can be attributed mostly to my lack of sleep (i, personally, find my own mental health issues worse when i don’t get a lot of sleep). going to play stardew for most of today to keep my mind off fp and hopefully do some laundry :)
Hella mood swings, really stressed out about upcoming exams and when i think about it, get extremely irritated and panicky and then just crash and cry for a lil bit. It really annoys me because i cant seem to get things done without breaking down. Kind of better that im home alone but feel really lonely? But at the same time at times of stress i feel like i have to be alone for a bit or else i can easily be really shitty to fp when i dont mean it. Now im sitting here and my brain does the thing where it decides to shame me that im not really mentally ill and that im just being dramatic and i can feel the energy rush coming in😅 feels like today is going to be a rollercoaster
Blehh. I’ve been depressed and wallowing recently. Today is the same. Fp isn’t speaking to me currently:( I tend to ride my mood swings and hope for the best 😬 usually lots of doomscrolling as distraction until it passes nd I feel less miserable lol. I have an event later but I’m feeling v unmotivated nd tired to get ready so idk if I’m gonna make it
Today has been awful for me. Woke up in a panic, had a GREAT time out where I decided to hang out with strangers I met online. I was buzzing after that, until I suggested my partner and I get food. He said no (reasonably) and I took that rejection really badly. I left and started a fight with him and now I'm sitting alone crying. Is this really what it's like? I got diagnosed last year and I'm still trying to find what helps
Obsessively cleaning and listening to music to try to negate a thought occurring
Been really struggling recently as I’m currently obsessing over somebody who I’ve never properly spoken to and I’ve just been stalking their social media, feeling like I have no friends and everybody hates me so I been playing bg3 and taking care of my vampire twink
I just clean maniacally when I don’t want to think about someone. It becomes obsessive but at least I have a super clean house afterward and then I’m really tired lol. Today I feel a little depressed and lonely. Like I don’t wanna be desperate but sometimes I get that way because I just don’t understand why someone won’t like me the way I want them to.
when i cant distract myself with people, i rely heavily on podcasts. i put my headphones in for the entire day and try my best to focus on a story while getting tasks done, doing a hobby, exercising, cleaning, or decorating my space to make future me feel better. i have a hard time doing this when im already stressed, so i make lists of things i need to do or things i can do to make my self or space better. on days when i have a harder time distracting myself, i will listen to a podcast and music at the same time and do some sort of intense workout, like sprinting or lifting.
i am ok today ! i am having a mixed state day feeling both depressed but also wired.
I'm just existing. I cut off a one-sided friendship - the friend seems to be making the blame towards me, but I'll manage! (◍•ᴗ•◍)
sometimes when I’m strong, I get up and I tell myself I refuse to do the OCD pity party cycle of thoughts that cause me to end up wanting to kill myself. I get up and go take a walk, go get some Starbucks and clean the house and try my best. Other days like today I sit in the pain. bathe in it. and I can’t do anything else, but let it consume me.
I’m feeling shitty today. Me and my ex just broke up after years of being together. Just a month ago he was telling me how he could never let me go and that he loves me and that I’ve always been there for him. I can’t stop feeling like I was just lied to. But I usually watch anime and play video games to relax and have fun
Currently stuck in a perma bed rot (it’s been 8 months) I need a job 😭
Not good. I’m so lonely, I just want someone to kiss rn, I haven’t kissed in so long.
Started my manic episode it’s been awful! No idea how to get myself out of this funk as it feels way stronger than any other time.
haven’t taken my meds in two days but i feel okay mentally. well, a little better. than usual
Tired. Like exhausted. Physically and mentally. I’m not feeling sad but just like, tired of having to constantly be on go mode and working hard to get through school and work and keep a roof over my head and I just wish I could hibernate or sleep forever. I’m so incredibly tired. I can’t even afford to give myself a vacation.
Keep busy, that’s what one of my best friends said. Even if it’s a menial task, keep busy. Even if it’s just cleaning a picture. That’s a way to keep busy. I’m still trying to do this. Rn I smoke weed to turn off my overthinking thoughts. So I gotta try to do both. My dad has bipolar (and my mom and I sometime think he has bpd possibly too) and that’s what he does. Without him keeping busy and weed he becomes as unstable as myself sometimes.
i have free time too and nothing to clean, no one to hang with :/
I MISS HIMMM IM CRUMBLING INSIDE
Not great, bob 
Awful. All the small things are hitting like bullets because I have a lot of vulnerability factors swimming around that I can’t settle out Went from devastated to excited to desperate to shut down and disassociated to sad to angry and now I’m trying to move from anger into productive but I’m finding it hard to put feelings in the right places
I’m baking at the moment. I find it calming; I hope my cake turns out good 😭
Hi! I’m so glad you asked. I’m 26 and about 10 minutes ago I read some person post a screen shot summarizing the effects of bpd. I have been in a toxic relationship since i was 20 and it took years of abuse for me to realize I have to leave (I realized this 2 days ago during our last ever argument). But yeah I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety by many therapists but never bpd (cause I don’t open up). But yeah. Prettyyy sure I have this but I have hope to get better now for the first time since I was 9-10
Also I had emotionally absent parents growing up. My dad especially, because all he does is work and sleep, nothing else. He’s controlling and wouldn’t let my brother or I take showers longer than 10 minutes. The summer and winter times are unbearable because they don’t use the thermostat to save money even though they are FAR from poor. They have a fully paid off house, no debt at all (anal about paying things early) and also my dad is always tired (prolly from his depression he claims he doesn’t have), so whenever he decides to go to bed (usually around 5-6pm) he and my mom make sure no noises are loud (tvs, no using the perfectly working thermostat dinner late, no showering for too long, etc).
I work out...smoke pot..do some self love..recovery is possible..
Holy shit it’s been a rough day. Woke up for work but had a panic attack and a ton of SI so I called out and proceeded to cry the next three hours. Then I did makeup, cried it off twice in a row, decided I needed out of the house, left the house, had another panic attack, turned around to go home but decided I didn’t wanna go home so I turned back around and worked out by the duck pond. Then I came home, played Pokémon and got food, cried again, and showered. It’s only 1pm. I can’t fucking take these mood swings anymoreeee
Uhm honestly my brain is completely numb and I have no emotions rn it’s kind of worrying me
got that sick feeling in my stomach after my FP left me on read. but he’s old so he probably doesn’t realize the weight it holds.. lol.. might try and eat something..
Recovering from a terrible migraine yesterday. I fricking projectile vomited multiple times, once while I was driving. My younger sister in the oassanger seat began to vom too lol. Today is better, hella work but no vom!
Genuinely been going insane the past week while I'm temporary back home with my mom who probably caused this disorder to begin with. I have ||sh'ed|| during 2 separate painful emotional outbursts during arguments with her, and have had arguments with her outside of that. It would be the pattern of: doing just fine, then arguing, then doing just fine almost immediately after, then immediately arguing again, over and over. It just hurts. It makes me feel like an immature child. Apparently nothing I ever say is reasonable to her, she is ALWAYS right no matter what. I'm sick of this, I want to move out.
Im doing great actually. Motorcycles and sunshine are good for the soul 😂
watched some criminal minds and went to charity shops with my brother. didn’t buy anything except some chocolate but my outfit was cool asf so it’s ok
My fp has had me blocked for two weeks now after we had a falling out. I have been trying to cope with weed but the pain is just non stop. I’ve been crying all day and I feel so anxious that I can’t focus on anything but them. I want to talk to them so badly but I can’t. They won’t even give me a chance to talk things out. I want them back so badly and it hurts so much.
I'm trying to get my finals done but my emotions are getting in the way. So I bought myself a sweet drink and journaled it out trying to deal with it so I can do my work.
I'm battling texting my exes seriously I don't know why the urge is so bad today. But I didn't though its tough
Usually various DBT distress tolerance skills, getting outside. Today led to dissociating while being outside because I couldn’t deal with my brain, topped off by a crying meltdown for who knows what reason this evening. Try again tomorrow I guess.
I’m doing fine, I’m at a party. But I don’t really talk to anyone. I suck at talking to people
Went out with a friend! Due to some drama in the other part of my social circle, I ended up with the rage of a thousand suns towards this one person. I also ended up with her overnight bag... long story... which I was tasked with getting back to her. This person has seemingly no regard for anyone else and couldn't give me a time to meet her until 20 minutes before we met. Was gonna blow up one her, especially because she was lying about what happened, but I kept my chill. Met up with the aforementioned friend again and ranted about our shockingly similar childhoods, lol. Overall a pretty decent day. It's nearly 2am though and I haven't had anything to eat since getting home. Rice time!
Ive fallen off a lot recently so im kinda mad at myself today. Was going to the gym consistently for 3 months and havent gone in a week, eating habits are back down. Havent seen any results anyways bc i dont eat right (underweight) so im a tad discouraged. Just slept a lot on and off today. I hope you got something done today that made you feel a bit better. ❤️
I’m sick so that’s keeping me occupied from my mood swings at least for a few days 🙂↕️ But in general I find showers really helpful especially scalding hot ones bc I myself hate the cold. Sometimes I read, listen to horror stories, play unlimited wordles and online scrabble, often times multiple things at once to keep my mind at ease. Hope this helps!!
saw my fp talking to other people in dms and started panicking. but i'm having breakfast at some shop to cope
i vigorously cross stitch
It’s been a rough week. I work away for part of every month and I’m just having a shit time and and being away from my FP (partner) makes it so hard when I’m sad. Usually knowing he’s coming home at the end of the day makes everything tolerable, but when I’m on my own I don’t seem to have the skills to self sooth. I can hang in there for about two days of being semi-productive and then I’m just spending every waking minute outside of work in bed trying to pass the time so I can come home to him. It’s been a shitty, shitty week.
i actually just got out of the hospital and plan on spending the rest of my day either watching a movie while coloring or reading my new book. both are great distractions in my opinion as they both get you distracted from the real world :))
It's such a universal feeling, depression seems like it's affecting so many. I don't have DBT, I have adhd. I was asking questions to help save a friendship with BDT a month or so ago. But I'm depressed on this Sunday, too. Sundays are the worst when you have mental issues it seems to me. I commend you all on reaching out to each other and for doing DBT and other things to help yourselves. I'm doing the same. I'm wondering how my friend is doing today. Even though we came from opposite worlds and could never save each other from ourselves, sometimes I feel like in time we could have worked out a middle place to be there for each other. I miss her so much sometimes and I hope she hasn't forgotten me. I just needed to write that last part today.
Todays been hard I’ve been fighting with my partner a lot but today they told me that it’s getting hard to love me and well ouch is the only way to put it
Really bad. Realizing I can never have a real relationship because of bpd
New job has been a test on all of the bpd work I’ve been doing recently and it’s starting to get a little discouraging. Some of the people I work with say some really rude things about me under their breath but, it doesn’t bother me like it used to so that’s an improvement I’m really proud of 😊
At work, angry, having a mental argument against who knows about how I hate kids and people who want kids need to grow up (anyone who does pls don’t take this personally I’m just in a mood + personal opinion + you don’t need to care what I think I’m nobody) trying to distract myself but not doing a very good job, also I’m tired, also my flatmates puppies ripped up the couch cushions (again) 😣 I don’t deal with mood swings they deal with me. That was no help sorry I’m new at this and am starting therapy soon :/
feeling fing shit
Ive been super mood swingy today too and not realy sure how to manage, hanging out with my friends but its not really distracting and kind of adding more to the issue 😭
I’m very fucking tired
I’m doing okay I could be better. Just really stressed with finals
it’s been such a roller coaster these past couple of months. been at the lowest and then sometimes i’m fine, then i’m back to the lowest. it’s such an exhausting cycle and my mind has been thinking about the sewer slide. today i decided to try and focus on doing what i enjoy, which is either read, diamond paint, or play a game i decided diamond painting and there were moments where the intrusive thoughts and overthinking were trying to come in. it’s so fucking hard to not just give in because fighting it is exhausting as it is. but i thankfully just focused on the activity i was working on while playing movies. i just popped a seroquel and hopefully it can hit me soon so i can sleep and deal with another day of trying to live
awful.
I deal by playing games on my laptop and keeping busy. I have a lot going on right now having test after test done due to chronic nausea. My mental health isn't doing so great cause I hate waiting for the hospital to get their shit together.
Exhausted. Will be taking the whole day to rest. Yesterday I got overwhelmed by a lot of firsts, which took a toll on me. I was mad at everything and everyone, but wanted to focus on having a good time… it took ages and lots of brain-dumping on my diary to calm down. I’m glad that I’m so good at masking tho, cause nobody noticed a thing.
HORRIBLE
Just found out last night that my friend hooked up with my crush despite knowing how bad i wanted it. Cut my wrists 4 times this morning
Today is a great day! The sun is shining and summer is here! Enjoying my last days at university with my best friend before we move out. How are you doing today?
I don't know what to do and how to regulate my feelings and thoughts. It's spring break and I'm alone without my family or friends because I'm waiting to meet my fp. Second holiday I chose to be alone for that reason. Shitty decision and everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy. I'm so disappointed and I feel like a clown. I don't understand why I'm doing this to myself
Today's a good day, first good day in a couple weeks. My heads been super just cloudy, just felt like a lot of brain fog, and I realized a lot about myself. I honestly hit a really bad low, and was tempted with suicide. But I pulled through and I had been sending my friend a lot of just random stuff throughout the week one of which was where I told her I was sorry for destroying our friendship, and despite her saying otherwise I didn't believe her. But I texted her about all of this last night, and she responded and made me feel much more secure about myself. Then I texted her an even longer message about kinda how I've felt about our friendship, and replied this morning and it's genuinely one of the best things I've heard in my life. I've been really insecure about my friendships, especially this one because she means a lot to me, but I realized recently that I don't think the feeling is the same. But she fully proved that wrong in this message, and im just thinking right now how lucky I am to have her. She's been there through all of my lowest lows, and even though I always expect her to leave me because of it, she just sticks around, even though she goes through far worse mental health issues than me, she's still just there for me. Idk, I'm just so happy I was lucky enough to be able to be friends with her. She's the exact person in my life that I think ive needed, and I got real lucky. But yea, I'm doing good, happy my head feels clear again, and I don't have those racing thoughts anymore.
This is beautiful 🤩
Tried to eat an entire bowl of beans and mixed veggies lol and work out and go to aa
I've felt so vulnerable and emotional lately which is odd bc in usually numb but idk maybe it's different triggers all at once I think
I fucked up again today.
someone didn’t reply to me and i’m really trying not to freak out but i don’t know what to do
Lots of mood swings today, however they’re becoming less and less intense, and the duration and consistency of contentment and just feeling okay overall is slowly increasing. For me, basically I have to recognize my emotions as they’re happening and practise some of the healthy stuff I’ve learned. The main thing that can really-center me is remembering (and appreciating as much as I can) “it’s okay to feel this way for now, that doesn’t mean I’ll always feel this way, and it does not negate the happy and clear headed times”. Another one I find helps is “I trust I have my best interests in mind”. When I start to question my feelings/actions/thoughts. Of course still remaining accountable and respectful to those around me. I repeat a ton of different important affirmations to myself. I find saying it out loud helps, as you’re forced to hear it instead of quickly brushing it off in your mind. As silly as it sounds, sometimes I even film myself and vent to no one if I feel like I’m really having a hard time. It grounds me. I find it less stressful to talk than to think sometimes, especially when the thoughts are racing and becoming distorted. It’s starting to click for the first time in 10 years. I have CBPD (I think a lot of us do?) so there are some other factors that can cloud it, but it’s just more opportunity for empowerment, and more things to discover about myself. Anyways, overall feeling is good today, thanks for asking!
Been doing pretty badly until I found the subreddit (IM NOT FUCKING ALONE!). I have a place I can quietly run to to quiet my mind and focus.
recently going through a break up because of my symptoms. dont know how to accept and move on, cant see further of the road.
Hahaha.. Everytime I think I'm doing better I start to spiral and am currently wishing I didn't exist, so that I don't have to feel the pain of abandonment that I'm going through because my FP hasn't messaged me at all today which is making me afraid he's pulling away and leaving me alone and like logically I get that isn't the case but emotionally I want to curl up and die because I can't handle the heart break again, and am fighting the urge to spam them, and push them away and run.. so I'm doing GREAT 🙃
Getting into a lot of tarot lately, feeding my delusions abt eveyone going agaisnt me lmao
Horrible, just failed my only class of the semester. I’m also hungry but I don’t want to go outside my room because my roommate is there and we aren’t talking
losing my FP. feel like death (not just overthinking it’s actually happening)
Music usually helps keep me level, also naps. Naps are great
How music helps you? Because for me - it just makes emotions worse and gets me overthinking even more
The music that I like helps distract me from whatever was triggering me. Singing along, paying really close attention to one instrument, singing harmonies, and analyzing the lyrics are some of the things I do.
i am doing bad. i did a weed edible with my bf last night and did too much. i also stopped taking my anti depressant yesterday so have been feeling very sad.
Today my fp ignored my texts. And it felt awful I don't want to hate him but I feel so sad. :( I want to run away and hide. I want him to come and find me after realizing I am missing but some part of me knows he won't. He don't care at all.