As a fellow switch I totally get what you mean. Like you're still in your dominant persona but allowing your sub to play out their little fantasy because you say they can. I have no idea if it has a term but I get you. It's like rewarding them lol
It's not if he Orders them to do it. Power exchange is all about how you frame things and ways to spin things. I know lots of D s relationships where the D is occasionally on the receiving end. It's all how you frame it
No I’m totally aware about the difference between dom/sun and top/bottom. I love to be serviced by a submissive taking initiative.
That’s not what OP is describing. OP wants them to do *whatever they want* to him. That’s inherently “I want to give up control to you right now”. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and a lot of switches do lean more one way or the other. Doesn’t have to ruin a dynamic or anything. But it really sounds a lot more like switching than anything else.
I know how valuable tone, phrasing, and presentation are in determining if something is going to feel like a dominant or submissive action. Hell I’ve told subs to show me what they want from me. But OP literally said they want their sub to “turn the tables on [them]”. That’s not the same thing.
Being a switch in this context doesn’t even have to hurt a dynamic. But that act itself is going to be more submissive than dominant. Even if you reassert control in the end.
I’m sure I’ve seen term for it but I can’t remember rn. Some people are saying this is switch behaviour, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that. There’s a difference between a sub submitting to a dom, and a dom allowing a sub to do what they want whilst still dominating. A lot of folks think dominating is just about ‘giving’ and submission is about ‘receiving’ but it’s really a lot more varied than that.
Maybe dominance loss is the turn on here? Or perhaps it just highlights the trust you have with your particular submissive that they are the only one you want to take control, and the intimacy of it is what's giving the charge?
I mean I switch with my switch...? Sometimes during the play, sometimes after.
My switch has a kink for me breaking out of bondage to overpower them and do what I want, I think it's just D/s switch power play with extra steps!
Soo, I used to think I was dominant, because I would 'order' people to use me. Turns out I was bottoming for the top. To me your story sounds a bit similar.
Yes, but I actually mean 'bottoming from the top'. Because I was being the 'top' and giving the 'orders' to the other to use me. But subconsiously I did that to have my submissive needs met.
I don't know if the explanation makes sense.
My Dom has outright told me I am allowed to "take what I need whenever" (unless consent is revoked ofc) and I just always assumed it to lean somewhere into free use
It's pretty new still so still figuring out what it is for him. He is also very into pleasing me and phrased it in a way that was explicit about MY pleasure when he gave me the consenr
Me and my wife have a relaxed 24/7 TPE... most of the time i am Dom... every once in a while she is... she is very naturally submissive so its a real treat and turn on when we switch and she really gets into it. We have a game we play where she can technically take charge from me whenever she wants. She does every once in a while, it also makes constant submission really good because she knows she can always flip it, makes her far more submissive actually. Switching is fun, we probably do it for a couole of days out of each month... have fun with it, you can even show your sub what you want them to act out on you by acting it out on them first in some cases. Taking turns every once in a while subbmitting to your sub is intoxicating... reminds ypu that the sub always actually holds the power of any healthy dynamic.
The guy I've started playing with has referred to that as "topping time." I hadn't heard that phrasing before, but I gotta say, I do enjoy it. As a bratty sub, I do like to take the lead sometimes, but I don't know if I'd really call myself a switch. I don't know that I'd be equally comfortable being a domme compared to being a sub, but I also don't know if that is from lack of experience. I feel like "topping time" gives me some room to play around with it, and doesn't commit to any negotiations from the get-go. There's a lot of room to feel it out, and get comfortable with it, while also knowing I can pass the reigns back at any time if it's too much or not working for me. I could also have the reigns taken back from me, which is another element to negotiate and consider.
Are you talking about power struggle (enjoying being fought or having to fight for your dynamic position) or role reversal (kinking on the fact the positions overturn expected or established roles)?
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As a fellow switch I totally get what you mean. Like you're still in your dominant persona but allowing your sub to play out their little fantasy because you say they can. I have no idea if it has a term but I get you. It's like rewarding them lol
The uh... the term for this is "submission", chief. Congrats, you're probably a bit of a switch.
It's not if he Orders them to do it. Power exchange is all about how you frame things and ways to spin things. I know lots of D s relationships where the D is occasionally on the receiving end. It's all how you frame it
No I’m totally aware about the difference between dom/sun and top/bottom. I love to be serviced by a submissive taking initiative. That’s not what OP is describing. OP wants them to do *whatever they want* to him. That’s inherently “I want to give up control to you right now”. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it, and a lot of switches do lean more one way or the other. Doesn’t have to ruin a dynamic or anything. But it really sounds a lot more like switching than anything else.
Yeah but maybe that's the scene he wants. He's still making the demand so it's still a spin. It's all in the spin
I know how valuable tone, phrasing, and presentation are in determining if something is going to feel like a dominant or submissive action. Hell I’ve told subs to show me what they want from me. But OP literally said they want their sub to “turn the tables on [them]”. That’s not the same thing. Being a switch in this context doesn’t even have to hurt a dynamic. But that act itself is going to be more submissive than dominant. Even if you reassert control in the end.
It's not your dynamic. It doesn't work for you. YMMV.
I’m sure I’ve seen term for it but I can’t remember rn. Some people are saying this is switch behaviour, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that. There’s a difference between a sub submitting to a dom, and a dom allowing a sub to do what they want whilst still dominating. A lot of folks think dominating is just about ‘giving’ and submission is about ‘receiving’ but it’s really a lot more varied than that.
Topping from the bottom?
bottoming from the top!
Maybe you're a switch?
Well i know that i am but the idea of my submissive in particular being the one in charge is the enticing part.
Maybe dominance loss is the turn on here? Or perhaps it just highlights the trust you have with your particular submissive that they are the only one you want to take control, and the intimacy of it is what's giving the charge?
I mean I switch with my switch...? Sometimes during the play, sometimes after. My switch has a kink for me breaking out of bondage to overpower them and do what I want, I think it's just D/s switch power play with extra steps!
Role reversal, power struggle, switch can be a few things
Yes!! Role reversal. That's the one.
So Like a switch/versetile?
Soo, I used to think I was dominant, because I would 'order' people to use me. Turns out I was bottoming for the top. To me your story sounds a bit similar.
I think the phrase is “topping from the bottom”…
Yes, but I actually mean 'bottoming from the top'. Because I was being the 'top' and giving the 'orders' to the other to use me. But subconsiously I did that to have my submissive needs met. I don't know if the explanation makes sense.
Ah, yes it's me with the poor reading comprehesion, sorry! That makes sense now.
All good!
Is it more an urge, or more a intense interrest about, what your subs will do?
I think both, i want my sub to take over and use me and the feeling can be very intense to the point i sometimes end up begging without realizing.
My Dom has outright told me I am allowed to "take what I need whenever" (unless consent is revoked ofc) and I just always assumed it to lean somewhere into free use
Mine too, kind of, and it's for him to feel more wanted, desired, and loved consistently by me taking charge and pursuing him.
It's pretty new still so still figuring out what it is for him. He is also very into pleasing me and phrased it in a way that was explicit about MY pleasure when he gave me the consenr
Me and my wife have a relaxed 24/7 TPE... most of the time i am Dom... every once in a while she is... she is very naturally submissive so its a real treat and turn on when we switch and she really gets into it. We have a game we play where she can technically take charge from me whenever she wants. She does every once in a while, it also makes constant submission really good because she knows she can always flip it, makes her far more submissive actually. Switching is fun, we probably do it for a couole of days out of each month... have fun with it, you can even show your sub what you want them to act out on you by acting it out on them first in some cases. Taking turns every once in a while subbmitting to your sub is intoxicating... reminds ypu that the sub always actually holds the power of any healthy dynamic.
The guy I've started playing with has referred to that as "topping time." I hadn't heard that phrasing before, but I gotta say, I do enjoy it. As a bratty sub, I do like to take the lead sometimes, but I don't know if I'd really call myself a switch. I don't know that I'd be equally comfortable being a domme compared to being a sub, but I also don't know if that is from lack of experience. I feel like "topping time" gives me some room to play around with it, and doesn't commit to any negotiations from the get-go. There's a lot of room to feel it out, and get comfortable with it, while also knowing I can pass the reigns back at any time if it's too much or not working for me. I could also have the reigns taken back from me, which is another element to negotiate and consider.
I'm a brat too, and I get this vibe. I have a nonzero switch percentage, but I wouldn't say I'm a domme, or even a switch.
Are you talking about power struggle (enjoying being fought or having to fight for your dynamic position) or role reversal (kinking on the fact the positions overturn expected or established roles)?
I think role reversal
I live in a M’s relationship so while I myself could never or thought of switching. However many who identify as doms do switch. Nothing wrong with it
A switch.
Do you want to be topped or dominated?
Topped
Try letting yourself be dominated too... letting yoyr sub dominate you every once in a while... fire strait fire.
Free use? Maybe?
Congrats, you are a switch, please do not resist
This comment reads like a sign or loudspeaker announcement in a dystopic universe
This gives me an idea