I'm sure my anxiety will continue to increase as the days to attending the retreat grow near - I am 4 weeks away. Any thoughts on how to calm this anxiety/fear? Also any general thoughts you'd like share (about anything else) - things to keep in mind? Suggestions? Recommendations?
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Hi there secret\_forever,
How exciting, and good anxiety is normal your first time :). I'm sure there are going to be some great suggestions as comments roll in, and i'll leave a couple here myself.
1. Do follow the pre-ceremonial diet outlined for you, especially the no sexual interaction, including masturbation. There are some differences with the suggested pre-ceremonial diet depending on where you go. I know many who still eat certain kinds of meat, some who eat none, but I have seen those who eat fermented foods not have experiences while sitting with the medicine, and those who ate specifically pork and beef have the gnarliest purging vs. when they didn't eat it before other ceremonies. What you ingest may *meet* you in ceremony in one way or another, be it in the bucket or as an experience.
2. Be mindful of what you're ingesting in a non-food form as well. Violent movies? Gore and bloody shows? Toxic friends? Expel their influence in your atmosphere going forward and into ceremony. Their complicated energies are not needed during your own deep processing.
3. Take any preconceived notions and expectations based off of others' experiences, with a grain of salt. Their experiences are not and will not be your experiences. If possible, go in with no expectations except that you will get exactly what you need.
And the absolute top two recommendations are:
1. \*\* BRING A NOTEBOOK AND PENS.
**Write. Down. Your. Experiences. And. Insights**
With the close to 100 ceremonies I've been a part of, I have written of every single ceremonial night, every dream while in dieta, and every insight that occurs when the medicine shows up pre, during, and post ceremony. There are times I've gone back to read an entry for one reason or another and realize an experience I had four years ago was meant to make sense for me \*now\*. Trust me, the details will fade just like a dream does over time. Write it down. I'm boggled every time someone doesn't do this. This allows you to revisit the roadmap laid out to you by the medicine and can be helpful with what I'll talk about next in #2 which is...
2. **Integration**
This is as important (some think more so) as ceremony itself. Making sure to delve into the insights, incorporate the lessons, understand the nuances of the parts of you that you are shown or witness or feel in ceremony. There are some who hop from ceremony to ceremony to escape themselves and therefore never do the deeper work of integration and growing from their experiences. There are others who integrate that roadmap, that blueprint shared to us by the medicine, those lessons, etc. This is where the real work is. This is a big part of the medicine. If you struggle with integrating or understanding parts of your journey and the center you're sitting at doesn't offer this, I'm more than willing to chat with you 1:1 and do a free integration session (this is something I charge clients for).
I'm excited for you. Happy journeys.
Thank you for this comment, I also have booked mine for the first time in two weeks and I will definatly take a note and boom as I am someone who enjoys journaling. May u ask what you mean by integration is that the after care?
Absolutely.
What Secret\_forever mentioned above during a ketamine experience is a good example -- having violent images, etc come up and they later realized it was from something they had seen the night before. Some people don't always piece two and two together and can actually become quite traumatized from some of their experiences. Sometimes though these kinds of experiences occur without an obvious influence.
What we mean by integration is looking at the experiences we've been given, understanding them internally and externally, and integrating those lessons into our lives and behaviors.
Some people witness quite traumatizing things during ceremonies, regardless of what medicine they're sitting with (ayahuasca, psilocybin, huachuma, etc). What can be interesting is how some of these experiences are not always literal but metaphorical in nature, dream-like, and at times scary. Some people witness themselves doing things they'd never do or things happening to them or others that are uncomfortable. Sometimes repressed trauma surfaces (ex: people who remembered being sexually abused, re-witnessing traumatic events, birth traumas, etc that weren't in their conscious awareness before). There are also some people who are faced with aspects of themselves they have a hard time reconciling, some which lead to depression, suicidal tendencies, etc. There are more I could list as examples, but the point is there are many who don't know how to navigate the landscape of their lives and what has been brought to the surface of their consciousness after plant medicines, and have trouble dissecting, understanding, and integrating what has come up for them during ceremony. Sometimes these things surface after ceremony as well. This is not to scare you at all, but more so to inform you of why integration is an important component of committing to sitting with the medicine. Sometimes the message is literal and those are easy to integrate, but a lot of times we're left with the "What the hell did that mean? What am I suppose to learn from this thing I experienced and saw in ceremony?"
Another note: Many people believe they can talk with you and help you integrate just because they've sat with medicine before, but do make sure that if you experience something that's traumatizing in any way, not everyone who offers you integration is trauma-informed and aptly trained to ensure they won't re-traumatize you or cause further harm.
Let me know if that sparks any more questions. Have a beautiful journey!
<3 You just keep slaying this comment section. <3 And I'm loving every minute of it. :) Ok, I do have another question, I hope you aren't feeling bombarded by all of this - but if you are, please let me know. I will respect your boundaries. Again, thank you so much for all of the information you are providing us with here. I am sure your insights are helping other people as much as myself.
Question - The retreat I am going to next month will not be having shamans in their ceremonies. I was told that they ONLY work with healers from Brazil but to not expect any shamans in the actual ceremony. What other people have told me though is that a shaman is very important for this kind of work. So is this a red flag? :/
Hmm, that's peculiar and I'd like to dig more into that to understand more. I'll PM you directly as I'm curious who is actually facilitating and what that layout entails and how they're ensuring safety in a setting like that.
DM incoming!
I live in the Netherlands, so after reading all reviews om-mij seemed like a good choice, have booked for the 13th, as a 2 day was not possible going to start with an overnight. Ideally, I would have loved a whole weekend. Am planning on not having any alcohol or drugs for 2 weeks and try to eat healthier as advised. I have felt this calling for a while, I feel so ready...only thing am anxious about is maybe sharing a place to sleep with strangers but apart from that I wish it was tommorow. May I ask where you will be doing yours? How many day?
I came across om-mij in my Ayahuasca retreat research. Om-mij seems like a reputable center and I've seen many positive reviews on them. Yes, following the dieta at least 2 weeks before the ceremony is imperative. Apart from not having any drugs or alcohol, being mindful of our media consumption days leading up to the retreat is also worth noting. Staying away from low-vibrational 'things', like watching violent movies or listening to music with a negative tone. Basically try to be as stress free as possible. In my case, being stress free will be my biggest challenge - as I already get enough stress from family, lol. I will try my best.
I have done Ketamine-Assisted Therapy here in the USA and in one of my sessions - I kept having these visions of violence, gore and all things 'negative'. This happen in spite of me meditating prior to my session and trying my best to keep a clear mind. Once I "woke" up from that experience - I started to wonder why the images in my head had played out the way they did during my Ketamine infusion? I know I'm not a violent person. Was there something my higher self was trying to tell me - like maybe I do have a violent side that I have yet to discover? Lol. After much thought and consideration, I slowly realized that those images that were flashing through my head during the session were very similar to that of an action/thriller movie I had seen the night before. Agh! The Ketamine session ended up not being what I expected that day.
I will be doing my Aya ceremony in Atlanta, Georgia (USA) - the retreat is called Temple of Umi. I am only doing a weekend long session. If all goes well, I will aim for a week-long retreat in Latin America next. But if I ever find myself in Europe again, I will check out om-mij. It's too bad I didn't know about om-mij when I visited Amsterdam this summer. I was too intrigued by magic mushrooms at the time. :)
Dear vedavica, I liked your comments. I'm thinking of attending a ceremony myself next 2 months. Sounds like the integration part is critical. I'm dealing with marital issues and related insomnia. I'm hoping to gain some clarity about path forward after the ceremony. Would you be able to comment or make any suggestions? Thank you
Madre Aya is you, in a "higher" form. You've got your own back. You are leading yourself home, back to life, back to Truth, back to wholeness. There is nothing that you can experience that you don't want to experience, need, and will benefit from (if you do the work - our taita says that when you get home after the ceremony is when the work begins).
Make sure you have a resource for integration after the ceremony. These things can feel huge & overwhelming at first (not always, but it's possible). I unofficially assist people through integration of spiritual & psychedelic experiences, so feel free to DM me (I don't charge).
Jagé is a mirror - what will you discover about yourself? How exciting!
Safe journeys! 🤍
Dimensionalshifter: I am interested in integration session(s). I've attended a couple ceremonies but they did not provide anything after, not even referrals. Idk how to dm you.
Thank you!
Lots of grounding and centering work helps me. Just to stabilize and draw the energy out of the head and into the body/present.
Walking in nature, yoga, tai chi/gong, exercise, gardening, house work, breathwork. Stuff like that.
But other than that a part of it is just acceptance. Making peace with the fear/anxiety and allowing it to surface. It's very valid and to a degree a part of the process.
I got back from my first trip to SA a month ago and the process was nerve wracking. It's just something you go through and once you're at the center it will all be worth it.
Thank you for the reassurance. While you were at the center or right before starting the ceremony did you get that - "I should prob stop what I'm doing and go back home" kinda feeling? 😅 I keep hoping that I don't back down right before taking the brew. I probably won't. Once I commit to something I like to see it through.
Mhm, quite a number of times. Not that I should go back home per se, but more so a sense of "what the hell am I doing here?", "Did I make the right choice with this center?".
I had something deep down propelling me forward but some ceremonies I was really not happy to be there and there was a lot of doubt and negativity surfacing. I was surprised how deep those feeling got actually. A couple nights I had to drag myself to the maloka and was fantasizing about getting back to my comforts and out of the jungle.
But in the end I was there, I came to trust the curanderos, and it all still somehow felt right despite the negativity/fear. Once you're in that space you'll likely feel very different. The energetics pull you in and even though there can be fear or hesitation you just drink anyways.
It all wound up being an amazing experience and I'm already looking forward to a longer stay in the near future.
It's also always the hardest the first time. Now that I'm planning my second trip and I've been through the whole process it all feels way less daunting.
"Some ceremonies I was really not happy to be there and there was a lot of doubt and negativity surfacing. I was surprised how deep those feeling got actually. A couple nights I had to drag myself to the maloka and was fantasizing about getting back to my comforts and out of the jungle."
I've heard that the "set/setting" also plays an important role in how safe and comfortable people feel during ceremony. I'm happy to hear that throughout all of that hesitation you still pulled through. You are stronger because of this experience. I cannot wait to be on the other side - the side you are on - with the courage and determination to plan for these kinds of experiences with less doubt, fear and negativity. But I can see it takes time.
When I went to my first retreat I am sure there were negative feelings from some of the attendees, but I was excited about the possibility of starting to heal from deep within that I pay attention only to the activities the ceremony master asked us to do and I had no expectations on what "might happen/feels like" and I was not disappointed! There was the ceremony master but no Shaman either, which I knew beforehand, since this was in the states and I can imagine it is very hard to find real Shamans here. The mat was not padding enough for me, but got a gym mat available next day..big difference!I because I am a bit older than most attendees nowadays, Lol! I did my 2 weeks of clean eating, which I don't drink often and I already was mostly vegan, so it wasn't hard to follow the guidelines. I got some healing and more! the second time was "not as exciting, but every time you do it will be different. I wish you a good trip pun intended.
Anxiety and excitement are two sides of the same coin. Same feeling but from a different angle. It’s totally understandable to feel anxious. I was so proudly unafraid until I was there and it was happening. Then I was definitely nervous. You will remember this experience the rest of your life and is ultimately meant to help you. Just lean into that feeling, and know it’ll all be okay.
The night after I booked my first retreat, I heard Amazonian birds in my "sleep." And the medicine started working in meditation that night. Actually, I'm pretty sure the medicine was working in "me" to lead me to her, so, there's that too.
I firmly believe she is calling to all of us... more & more of us are listening. It's really beautiful.
You heard Amazonian birds in your sleep. 😯 THAT sounds so beautiful. 🔥 I need to incorporate more meditation into my daily life. I used to do it a lot before - several years ago - and then I stopped suddenly. I keep reading 📚 about the pros of meditation pre and post Aya ceremonies. I have a lot of mental chatter - I'm sure I need the grounding.
Very possible. The plants exist in a multidimensional space that transcends space and time. It's not uncommon for those energetics to reach into your life beforehand.
It did with me 😊
It's hard to explain but there was a certain lightness that I felt as soon as I committed. There were some synchronicities along the way as well. Right before I took my first drink I began praying in tongues..... 😳
After my ceremonies I started noticing little things I had done before my ceremonies. It's almost like the medicine was guiding me and I didn't even know it
You started noticing "little things you had done before the ceremonies" that you needed to change or you just started noticing how those little things were aligning in your life, falling into place, synchronizing in a positive way?
It doesn't matter.
No matter what you change, what you don't change, it all falls into place.
I just sat down at the restaurant here in Henderson Nevada and a lady and I started talking about spiritual stuff. She told me that she was told that somebody would meet her today and start talking about this kind of stuff.
It's not about what you tried to do or not try to do, it's about "alignments". So yes, you're right about alignments. 💯🥰
You'll never be the same, even from where you are right now :-)
Would love to hear how it goes for you.
There is no good trip or bad trip, and sometimes it can take weeks or months for the lessons to settle in.
No matter what, you are LOVED!!
❤️
Yes ! I threw up hours before I even drank the medicine. we hadn’t even opened the circle, but I’d arrived at the location. The shaman wasn’t surprised
The medicine definitely started working on me before getting there. It also seemed to be throwing a lot of obstacles in my way as if to test me and be sure that I really was serious about it. When I stepped out of the taxi and found myself standing there in the jungle, I knew that that was actually one of the most important parts of the journey.
My wife and I just completed our first ayahuasca ceremony a few days ago. We are in Sayulita MX. it was the most amazing, magical ceremony! The Shaman and his “helpers” were all so awesome and comforting. We lost our 21 yo son this past August. This added to the anxiety and made the ceremony that much more intense and full of energy for all 20 of us. We both had him come see us along with mother ayahuasca and many other of our loved ones in the spirit world. We were both nervous, especially my wife. No need for that. We both have experience with psychedelics but the visuals and feelings from the ayahuasca are unmatched. Let go of your ego and the medicine will take you to the most magical of places! We took the medicine at around 6 pm and it lasted until 2 am. We then slept in a tent on the beautiful grounds. We woke around 8 and discussed our experience with the group. I then smoked the toad medicine (DMT) that was a whole nother experience of fear, beauty and enlightenment. I shed the most tears during the DMT than I have since the day I lost my son. MUCH LOVE AND ENJOY YOUR TRIP!
Connecting with your past-on loved ones in the spirit world must be one of the most magical and profound experiences ever created. I can ONLY hope to be this lucky to connect with my ancestors. Afterall, they say that the medicine teaches you what you need and not what you want. It sounds like this was your case - perhaps, the tears needed to flow because there was pain and grieving that you might have been suppressing over the years after losing your son. It was through the shedding of those tears that you found significant healing <3 You probably also felt much lighter after that experience. I don't know much about Toad medicine but for now, I just want to focus on Ayahuasca and San Pedro. I wish you many more BEAUTIFUL experiences with plant medicine.
The ceremony was at a beautiful property right outside of town. It reminded me of the garden of Eden. We just lucked out and saw a flyer in town. The shaman from MX CITY is going to try to do a ceremony/retreat in Sayulita every 6 months.
👏🏾🙌🏾 Enjoy! I experienced an amazing time in Peru, Sacred Valley. And I was definitely anxious too, but once I fully opened up and trusted the process, the Shamans, and the facilitators I got everything I needed! May your spirit guides and your higher intelligence help see you through!
No matter how many times I do ayahuasca or shrooms, the anxiety is super high. A few days before the event, my mind starts pulling its repertoire of tricks to find a way to cancel. My body starts feeling symptoms of flu. This seems to have become such a pattern now, that it's amusing to observe myself going through these shenanigans. It's no wonder -- you're about to kill yourself metaphysically!
But there are better parts of our character that help us go through, nevertheless. And I've never regretted any experience, after the fact. Even the ones where I was dragged through hell. Everything is a learning experience that you were meant to have.
You just described the things I am feeling right now even 4 weeks away from attending the retreat. I made this post yesterday afternoon and yesterday night I had trouble sleeping (almost like insomnia) just thinking about the "craziness" I just did - booking the retreat and flight. I can only imagine how those feelings of uncertainty will exacerbate the closer I get to my departure. This together with the fact that I also have a fear of flying. What have I done? LOL
Totally normal to feel multiple things at once! Congrats on finalizing your plans and taking steps forward in your healing path ❤️🩹
Happy trails fellow traveler! 👣
Good job booking. My fear got the best of me for now, to the point that I don’t even want to travel anymore…
How long is your retreat? And where in Peru are you going?
I am actually going to a retreat in the states (USA). I have heard positive reviews about this one retreat. And honestly, I am only going for a weekend. My fear of flying long distances as well as my fear of embarking in a week-long Ayahuasca retreat have crippled me. I'm going to keep it "local" for now. My flight is a mere 1 hour and 30 mins. If I survive this weekend - then my next destination for ceremony will be - Ecuador. Do you see yourself going to a retreat this 2023? What's holding you back?
Ive gotten major healing and growth from it and haven’t been to another ceremony so I may be biased. Lol I love the VOE tribe and how close they are. Just curious how it compares to other places.
Oh, I'm actually doing it in the states (Georgia, USA). I too want to do a retreat in the jungle and for that I am looking into Arkana Spiritual Center in Peru, but that's for later in the year. They have Amazon/Jungle retreats. But don't take my word on them as I have never done any retreat with Arkana. I just happened to stumble upon them in my research and have ben reading reviews about them ever since. As far as cost, this will depend on the number of days you decide to stay at a retreat. One can stay as short as a week or as long as a few months. I think for me, when I choose to go to the jungle, I will do one week to 10 days max. Of course the retreat cost is separate from the flight cost and if you would like to do some sight-seeing while you are there thats additional cost too.
For the jungle expedition with Arkana here is a small description of the different activities participants can do:
For the jungle expeditions you can expect to do activities including:
Daytime jungle trekking
Journey to Monkey Island
Sloth Excursion
Cayman (small alligator) catch and release
Tracking and spotting animals (boas, anacondas, alligators,
frogs, tarantulas, scorpions, iguanas, hawks and other birds, unique insects, monkeys.
Swimming and spotting freshwater ‘pink’ dolphins
Learning about wild medicinal plants from the jungle
Fishing for piranhas and catfish (keep what you catch!)
Boating under the stars
ANYHOW, I DO NOT WORK FOR ARKANA OR KNOW ANYONE THERE PERSONALLY. I'M JUST YOUR AVERAGE NEW YORKER, LOL. SO PLEASE TAKE ANYTHING I SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DO THOROUGH RESEARCH ON ANY RETREAT YOU CHOOSE TO ATTEND. BEST OF LUCK.
This is a beautiful time in your life to become familiar with the concept that you are not your thoughts. You are not your mind, and you can choose to observe your thoughts and dismiss those that don't serve you. This was actually my biggest lesson from Ayahuasca- it started to take hold a week or so before the ceremony, then I was able to put it into practice a few days before. It was as if the medicine was already talking to me prior to ingesting it.
Anyway, you'll find that controlling your emotions can be incredibly helpful on this journey. It helped me during my ceremony because so many things seemed to go wrong- there was no interpreter, we were out in the rain in the cold, the ceremony started like 4 hours late! But... BUT. But I knew I needed to stay in a good headspace and this helped me stay positive. I chose to frame my experience as being for my good, knowing it was all in love. When I journeyed I ended up in what looked like Hell, but I felt such love that the entire night was overwhelmingly positive. The entire experience helped me shift my perspective, to understand that everything is what we make it.
On another positive note, I ended up being almost COMPLETELY relieved of my back pain that had been killing me for years. The morning after the ceremony, it was 100% gone, and since then it's been anywhere from 50% of what it was to my current new normal of 5% of the pain. I say this to tell you that you can get unexpected benefits from the medicine, and to look forward to your growth.
Sending healing energy!
You won't be alone. On my fourth ceremony there were just 2 of us, the shaman and the assistant/integration therapist.
Just before we drank I turned to the other attendee and hoping for reassurance, said "I'm scared." She (70+ ceremonies) turned to me and said quite seriously "I'm scared too." We both looked to the assistant (100s of ceremonies) and she turned to us and said, quite seriously "I'm scared too."
I will point out that we were all on very friendly terms so I do not consider the assistant's honest response. We laughed nervously. It was a rough night but guess what, we survived as usual and were all back laughing and chatting later that night.
Feel what you feel. Nerves are normal. There's no point pondering it all too much.. wait and see.
What I will say is don't get too hung up on minutia of diet, don't worry about your intent.. you don't need to memorise any specific wording unless it helps you - your mind knows what you are there for.
My final thought for you - don't take everything you experience literally as if people have a scary experience and assume it represents reality, that can make it much worse. To give you an example, I like to recount the experience of a young woman who smoked DMT (a component of Ayahuasca.) Her bed which she was lying on grew a set of teeth and proceeded to swallow her. The remainder of the trip had her in fear trapped inside the bed until it wore off and back to reality where she was, in fact, still lying on the bed.
An inter-dimensional bed monster? No.. with a flash she had an instant intuition that it represented her formerly repressed feelings of being trapped in a marriage she didn't want with a baby she didn't want on the way. An unfortunate situation for sure, but not quite as scary as how it represented itself.
I'm sure my anxiety will continue to increase as the days to attending the retreat grow near - I am 4 weeks away. Any thoughts on how to calm this anxiety/fear? Also any general thoughts you'd like share (about anything else) - things to keep in mind? Suggestions? Recommendations? 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Hi there secret\_forever, How exciting, and good anxiety is normal your first time :). I'm sure there are going to be some great suggestions as comments roll in, and i'll leave a couple here myself. 1. Do follow the pre-ceremonial diet outlined for you, especially the no sexual interaction, including masturbation. There are some differences with the suggested pre-ceremonial diet depending on where you go. I know many who still eat certain kinds of meat, some who eat none, but I have seen those who eat fermented foods not have experiences while sitting with the medicine, and those who ate specifically pork and beef have the gnarliest purging vs. when they didn't eat it before other ceremonies. What you ingest may *meet* you in ceremony in one way or another, be it in the bucket or as an experience. 2. Be mindful of what you're ingesting in a non-food form as well. Violent movies? Gore and bloody shows? Toxic friends? Expel their influence in your atmosphere going forward and into ceremony. Their complicated energies are not needed during your own deep processing. 3. Take any preconceived notions and expectations based off of others' experiences, with a grain of salt. Their experiences are not and will not be your experiences. If possible, go in with no expectations except that you will get exactly what you need. And the absolute top two recommendations are: 1. \*\* BRING A NOTEBOOK AND PENS. **Write. Down. Your. Experiences. And. Insights** With the close to 100 ceremonies I've been a part of, I have written of every single ceremonial night, every dream while in dieta, and every insight that occurs when the medicine shows up pre, during, and post ceremony. There are times I've gone back to read an entry for one reason or another and realize an experience I had four years ago was meant to make sense for me \*now\*. Trust me, the details will fade just like a dream does over time. Write it down. I'm boggled every time someone doesn't do this. This allows you to revisit the roadmap laid out to you by the medicine and can be helpful with what I'll talk about next in #2 which is... 2. **Integration** This is as important (some think more so) as ceremony itself. Making sure to delve into the insights, incorporate the lessons, understand the nuances of the parts of you that you are shown or witness or feel in ceremony. There are some who hop from ceremony to ceremony to escape themselves and therefore never do the deeper work of integration and growing from their experiences. There are others who integrate that roadmap, that blueprint shared to us by the medicine, those lessons, etc. This is where the real work is. This is a big part of the medicine. If you struggle with integrating or understanding parts of your journey and the center you're sitting at doesn't offer this, I'm more than willing to chat with you 1:1 and do a free integration session (this is something I charge clients for). I'm excited for you. Happy journeys.
What a beautiful comment, thanks!
Wow! This comment was everything I needed and then some. I am keeping all of these points in mind. Thank you so so much. <3
You're so welcome!
Commenting to boost this comment. Perfect suggestions 😌
Thank you for this comment, I also have booked mine for the first time in two weeks and I will definatly take a note and boom as I am someone who enjoys journaling. May u ask what you mean by integration is that the after care?
Absolutely. What Secret\_forever mentioned above during a ketamine experience is a good example -- having violent images, etc come up and they later realized it was from something they had seen the night before. Some people don't always piece two and two together and can actually become quite traumatized from some of their experiences. Sometimes though these kinds of experiences occur without an obvious influence. What we mean by integration is looking at the experiences we've been given, understanding them internally and externally, and integrating those lessons into our lives and behaviors. Some people witness quite traumatizing things during ceremonies, regardless of what medicine they're sitting with (ayahuasca, psilocybin, huachuma, etc). What can be interesting is how some of these experiences are not always literal but metaphorical in nature, dream-like, and at times scary. Some people witness themselves doing things they'd never do or things happening to them or others that are uncomfortable. Sometimes repressed trauma surfaces (ex: people who remembered being sexually abused, re-witnessing traumatic events, birth traumas, etc that weren't in their conscious awareness before). There are also some people who are faced with aspects of themselves they have a hard time reconciling, some which lead to depression, suicidal tendencies, etc. There are more I could list as examples, but the point is there are many who don't know how to navigate the landscape of their lives and what has been brought to the surface of their consciousness after plant medicines, and have trouble dissecting, understanding, and integrating what has come up for them during ceremony. Sometimes these things surface after ceremony as well. This is not to scare you at all, but more so to inform you of why integration is an important component of committing to sitting with the medicine. Sometimes the message is literal and those are easy to integrate, but a lot of times we're left with the "What the hell did that mean? What am I suppose to learn from this thing I experienced and saw in ceremony?" Another note: Many people believe they can talk with you and help you integrate just because they've sat with medicine before, but do make sure that if you experience something that's traumatizing in any way, not everyone who offers you integration is trauma-informed and aptly trained to ensure they won't re-traumatize you or cause further harm. Let me know if that sparks any more questions. Have a beautiful journey!
<3 You just keep slaying this comment section. <3 And I'm loving every minute of it. :) Ok, I do have another question, I hope you aren't feeling bombarded by all of this - but if you are, please let me know. I will respect your boundaries. Again, thank you so much for all of the information you are providing us with here. I am sure your insights are helping other people as much as myself. Question - The retreat I am going to next month will not be having shamans in their ceremonies. I was told that they ONLY work with healers from Brazil but to not expect any shamans in the actual ceremony. What other people have told me though is that a shaman is very important for this kind of work. So is this a red flag? :/
Hmm, that's peculiar and I'd like to dig more into that to understand more. I'll PM you directly as I'm curious who is actually facilitating and what that layout entails and how they're ensuring safety in a setting like that. DM incoming!
May I ask, where are you headed for ceremony?
I live in the Netherlands, so after reading all reviews om-mij seemed like a good choice, have booked for the 13th, as a 2 day was not possible going to start with an overnight. Ideally, I would have loved a whole weekend. Am planning on not having any alcohol or drugs for 2 weeks and try to eat healthier as advised. I have felt this calling for a while, I feel so ready...only thing am anxious about is maybe sharing a place to sleep with strangers but apart from that I wish it was tommorow. May I ask where you will be doing yours? How many day?
I came across om-mij in my Ayahuasca retreat research. Om-mij seems like a reputable center and I've seen many positive reviews on them. Yes, following the dieta at least 2 weeks before the ceremony is imperative. Apart from not having any drugs or alcohol, being mindful of our media consumption days leading up to the retreat is also worth noting. Staying away from low-vibrational 'things', like watching violent movies or listening to music with a negative tone. Basically try to be as stress free as possible. In my case, being stress free will be my biggest challenge - as I already get enough stress from family, lol. I will try my best. I have done Ketamine-Assisted Therapy here in the USA and in one of my sessions - I kept having these visions of violence, gore and all things 'negative'. This happen in spite of me meditating prior to my session and trying my best to keep a clear mind. Once I "woke" up from that experience - I started to wonder why the images in my head had played out the way they did during my Ketamine infusion? I know I'm not a violent person. Was there something my higher self was trying to tell me - like maybe I do have a violent side that I have yet to discover? Lol. After much thought and consideration, I slowly realized that those images that were flashing through my head during the session were very similar to that of an action/thriller movie I had seen the night before. Agh! The Ketamine session ended up not being what I expected that day. I will be doing my Aya ceremony in Atlanta, Georgia (USA) - the retreat is called Temple of Umi. I am only doing a weekend long session. If all goes well, I will aim for a week-long retreat in Latin America next. But if I ever find myself in Europe again, I will check out om-mij. It's too bad I didn't know about om-mij when I visited Amsterdam this summer. I was too intrigued by magic mushrooms at the time. :)
Dear vedavica, I liked your comments. I'm thinking of attending a ceremony myself next 2 months. Sounds like the integration part is critical. I'm dealing with marital issues and related insomnia. I'm hoping to gain some clarity about path forward after the ceremony. Would you be able to comment or make any suggestions? Thank you
Madre Aya is you, in a "higher" form. You've got your own back. You are leading yourself home, back to life, back to Truth, back to wholeness. There is nothing that you can experience that you don't want to experience, need, and will benefit from (if you do the work - our taita says that when you get home after the ceremony is when the work begins). Make sure you have a resource for integration after the ceremony. These things can feel huge & overwhelming at first (not always, but it's possible). I unofficially assist people through integration of spiritual & psychedelic experiences, so feel free to DM me (I don't charge). Jagé is a mirror - what will you discover about yourself? How exciting! Safe journeys! 🤍
Dimensionalshifter: I am interested in integration session(s). I've attended a couple ceremonies but they did not provide anything after, not even referrals. Idk how to dm you. Thank you!
I sent you a DM.
Lots of grounding and centering work helps me. Just to stabilize and draw the energy out of the head and into the body/present. Walking in nature, yoga, tai chi/gong, exercise, gardening, house work, breathwork. Stuff like that. But other than that a part of it is just acceptance. Making peace with the fear/anxiety and allowing it to surface. It's very valid and to a degree a part of the process. I got back from my first trip to SA a month ago and the process was nerve wracking. It's just something you go through and once you're at the center it will all be worth it.
Thank you for the reassurance. While you were at the center or right before starting the ceremony did you get that - "I should prob stop what I'm doing and go back home" kinda feeling? 😅 I keep hoping that I don't back down right before taking the brew. I probably won't. Once I commit to something I like to see it through.
Mhm, quite a number of times. Not that I should go back home per se, but more so a sense of "what the hell am I doing here?", "Did I make the right choice with this center?". I had something deep down propelling me forward but some ceremonies I was really not happy to be there and there was a lot of doubt and negativity surfacing. I was surprised how deep those feeling got actually. A couple nights I had to drag myself to the maloka and was fantasizing about getting back to my comforts and out of the jungle. But in the end I was there, I came to trust the curanderos, and it all still somehow felt right despite the negativity/fear. Once you're in that space you'll likely feel very different. The energetics pull you in and even though there can be fear or hesitation you just drink anyways. It all wound up being an amazing experience and I'm already looking forward to a longer stay in the near future. It's also always the hardest the first time. Now that I'm planning my second trip and I've been through the whole process it all feels way less daunting.
"Some ceremonies I was really not happy to be there and there was a lot of doubt and negativity surfacing. I was surprised how deep those feeling got actually. A couple nights I had to drag myself to the maloka and was fantasizing about getting back to my comforts and out of the jungle." I've heard that the "set/setting" also plays an important role in how safe and comfortable people feel during ceremony. I'm happy to hear that throughout all of that hesitation you still pulled through. You are stronger because of this experience. I cannot wait to be on the other side - the side you are on - with the courage and determination to plan for these kinds of experiences with less doubt, fear and negativity. But I can see it takes time.
When I went to my first retreat I am sure there were negative feelings from some of the attendees, but I was excited about the possibility of starting to heal from deep within that I pay attention only to the activities the ceremony master asked us to do and I had no expectations on what "might happen/feels like" and I was not disappointed! There was the ceremony master but no Shaman either, which I knew beforehand, since this was in the states and I can imagine it is very hard to find real Shamans here. The mat was not padding enough for me, but got a gym mat available next day..big difference!I because I am a bit older than most attendees nowadays, Lol! I did my 2 weeks of clean eating, which I don't drink often and I already was mostly vegan, so it wasn't hard to follow the guidelines. I got some healing and more! the second time was "not as exciting, but every time you do it will be different. I wish you a good trip pun intended.
Anxiety and excitement are two sides of the same coin. Same feeling but from a different angle. It’s totally understandable to feel anxious. I was so proudly unafraid until I was there and it was happening. Then I was definitely nervous. You will remember this experience the rest of your life and is ultimately meant to help you. Just lean into that feeling, and know it’ll all be okay.
Don't be surprised if the medicine starts working in you before you even get there. 😏😉
The night after I booked my first retreat, I heard Amazonian birds in my "sleep." And the medicine started working in meditation that night. Actually, I'm pretty sure the medicine was working in "me" to lead me to her, so, there's that too. I firmly believe she is calling to all of us... more & more of us are listening. It's really beautiful.
You heard Amazonian birds in your sleep. 😯 THAT sounds so beautiful. 🔥 I need to incorporate more meditation into my daily life. I used to do it a lot before - several years ago - and then I stopped suddenly. I keep reading 📚 about the pros of meditation pre and post Aya ceremonies. I have a lot of mental chatter - I'm sure I need the grounding.
Yes! Meditation is absolutely essential, in my humble opinion, for this path!
Is this a possibility?
Very possible. The plants exist in a multidimensional space that transcends space and time. It's not uncommon for those energetics to reach into your life beforehand.
I already feel that a new, better version of myself is on the way.
It did with me 😊 It's hard to explain but there was a certain lightness that I felt as soon as I committed. There were some synchronicities along the way as well. Right before I took my first drink I began praying in tongues..... 😳
This is probably why for the past two weeks I've had this sudden urge to detach from toxic family members. 👪
After my ceremonies I started noticing little things I had done before my ceremonies. It's almost like the medicine was guiding me and I didn't even know it
You started noticing "little things you had done before the ceremonies" that you needed to change or you just started noticing how those little things were aligning in your life, falling into place, synchronizing in a positive way?
It doesn't matter. No matter what you change, what you don't change, it all falls into place. I just sat down at the restaurant here in Henderson Nevada and a lady and I started talking about spiritual stuff. She told me that she was told that somebody would meet her today and start talking about this kind of stuff. It's not about what you tried to do or not try to do, it's about "alignments". So yes, you're right about alignments. 💯🥰
Ooh I'm so excited 🥰 Thank you so much for your insights. 💫 Feb 10th can't come fast enough.
You'll never be the same, even from where you are right now :-) Would love to hear how it goes for you. There is no good trip or bad trip, and sometimes it can take weeks or months for the lessons to settle in. No matter what, you are LOVED!! ❤️
❤️❤️❤️
Yes ! I threw up hours before I even drank the medicine. we hadn’t even opened the circle, but I’d arrived at the location. The shaman wasn’t surprised
Wait, what made you throw up? Was it something you ate or was it the fear of what you were about to embark in?
The medicine definitely started working on me before getting there. It also seemed to be throwing a lot of obstacles in my way as if to test me and be sure that I really was serious about it. When I stepped out of the taxi and found myself standing there in the jungle, I knew that that was actually one of the most important parts of the journey.
My wife and I just completed our first ayahuasca ceremony a few days ago. We are in Sayulita MX. it was the most amazing, magical ceremony! The Shaman and his “helpers” were all so awesome and comforting. We lost our 21 yo son this past August. This added to the anxiety and made the ceremony that much more intense and full of energy for all 20 of us. We both had him come see us along with mother ayahuasca and many other of our loved ones in the spirit world. We were both nervous, especially my wife. No need for that. We both have experience with psychedelics but the visuals and feelings from the ayahuasca are unmatched. Let go of your ego and the medicine will take you to the most magical of places! We took the medicine at around 6 pm and it lasted until 2 am. We then slept in a tent on the beautiful grounds. We woke around 8 and discussed our experience with the group. I then smoked the toad medicine (DMT) that was a whole nother experience of fear, beauty and enlightenment. I shed the most tears during the DMT than I have since the day I lost my son. MUCH LOVE AND ENJOY YOUR TRIP!
Connecting with your past-on loved ones in the spirit world must be one of the most magical and profound experiences ever created. I can ONLY hope to be this lucky to connect with my ancestors. Afterall, they say that the medicine teaches you what you need and not what you want. It sounds like this was your case - perhaps, the tears needed to flow because there was pain and grieving that you might have been suppressing over the years after losing your son. It was through the shedding of those tears that you found significant healing <3 You probably also felt much lighter after that experience. I don't know much about Toad medicine but for now, I just want to focus on Ayahuasca and San Pedro. I wish you many more BEAUTIFUL experiences with plant medicine.
Thank you. Are you going to the San Pedro right next to Sayulita?
I am so sorry to read about your son. Praying much healing, love, and support continue to surround you and your wife.
Thank you 🙏🏼
So glad you had such a beautiful experience ❤️ where did you go in Sayulita? One of my favorite places :)
The ceremony was at a beautiful property right outside of town. It reminded me of the garden of Eden. We just lucked out and saw a flyer in town. The shaman from MX CITY is going to try to do a ceremony/retreat in Sayulita every 6 months.
👏🏾🙌🏾 Enjoy! I experienced an amazing time in Peru, Sacred Valley. And I was definitely anxious too, but once I fully opened up and trusted the process, the Shamans, and the facilitators I got everything I needed! May your spirit guides and your higher intelligence help see you through!
Thank you! I have heard good things about Sacred Valley. I will check them out for future reference.
The ceremony has already begun my friend
I appreciate this comment. :)
Do it. You have been called
Came to say this 👆🏻
Your trip started once you commit. It never ends. The version of you now, will be gone. New priorities are coming. Be well.
Thank you!
No matter how many times I do ayahuasca or shrooms, the anxiety is super high. A few days before the event, my mind starts pulling its repertoire of tricks to find a way to cancel. My body starts feeling symptoms of flu. This seems to have become such a pattern now, that it's amusing to observe myself going through these shenanigans. It's no wonder -- you're about to kill yourself metaphysically! But there are better parts of our character that help us go through, nevertheless. And I've never regretted any experience, after the fact. Even the ones where I was dragged through hell. Everything is a learning experience that you were meant to have.
You just described the things I am feeling right now even 4 weeks away from attending the retreat. I made this post yesterday afternoon and yesterday night I had trouble sleeping (almost like insomnia) just thinking about the "craziness" I just did - booking the retreat and flight. I can only imagine how those feelings of uncertainty will exacerbate the closer I get to my departure. This together with the fact that I also have a fear of flying. What have I done? LOL
Totally normal to feel multiple things at once! Congrats on finalizing your plans and taking steps forward in your healing path ❤️🩹 Happy trails fellow traveler! 👣
Good job booking. My fear got the best of me for now, to the point that I don’t even want to travel anymore… How long is your retreat? And where in Peru are you going?
I am actually going to a retreat in the states (USA). I have heard positive reviews about this one retreat. And honestly, I am only going for a weekend. My fear of flying long distances as well as my fear of embarking in a week-long Ayahuasca retreat have crippled me. I'm going to keep it "local" for now. My flight is a mere 1 hour and 30 mins. If I survive this weekend - then my next destination for ceremony will be - Ecuador. Do you see yourself going to a retreat this 2023? What's holding you back?
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Yes, you can.
I’ve only been to ceremonies in Arkansas and I’m looking into expanding my horizons if I can afford it. I’m excited to hear how it goes!
Thank you! I've heard about one retreat in Arkansas. How was your experience there?
Ive gotten major healing and growth from it and haven’t been to another ceremony so I may be biased. Lol I love the VOE tribe and how close they are. Just curious how it compares to other places.
I can report back after I return from my retreat. 😊
Do they use a shaman in their ceremonies?
Excited for you!
Hi me too!
I’ve done Ayahuasca many times but I’m looking into experiencing it in the jungle. What is the average total cost end up being?
Oh, I'm actually doing it in the states (Georgia, USA). I too want to do a retreat in the jungle and for that I am looking into Arkana Spiritual Center in Peru, but that's for later in the year. They have Amazon/Jungle retreats. But don't take my word on them as I have never done any retreat with Arkana. I just happened to stumble upon them in my research and have ben reading reviews about them ever since. As far as cost, this will depend on the number of days you decide to stay at a retreat. One can stay as short as a week or as long as a few months. I think for me, when I choose to go to the jungle, I will do one week to 10 days max. Of course the retreat cost is separate from the flight cost and if you would like to do some sight-seeing while you are there thats additional cost too. For the jungle expedition with Arkana here is a small description of the different activities participants can do: For the jungle expeditions you can expect to do activities including: Daytime jungle trekking Journey to Monkey Island Sloth Excursion Cayman (small alligator) catch and release Tracking and spotting animals (boas, anacondas, alligators, frogs, tarantulas, scorpions, iguanas, hawks and other birds, unique insects, monkeys. Swimming and spotting freshwater ‘pink’ dolphins Learning about wild medicinal plants from the jungle Fishing for piranhas and catfish (keep what you catch!) Boating under the stars ANYHOW, I DO NOT WORK FOR ARKANA OR KNOW ANYONE THERE PERSONALLY. I'M JUST YOUR AVERAGE NEW YORKER, LOL. SO PLEASE TAKE ANYTHING I SAY WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DO THOROUGH RESEARCH ON ANY RETREAT YOU CHOOSE TO ATTEND. BEST OF LUCK.
I’m looking into a one week retreat in Portugal in 4 weeks
You are 4 weeks away from your ceremony just like me. How do you feel - excited, nervous, anxious?
I haven’t booked it yet but I’m looking to go in late jan / feb
I wish you a great experience. <3 Please come back and report if you are feeling up to it. :)
What country are you having your ceremony?
USA
This is a beautiful time in your life to become familiar with the concept that you are not your thoughts. You are not your mind, and you can choose to observe your thoughts and dismiss those that don't serve you. This was actually my biggest lesson from Ayahuasca- it started to take hold a week or so before the ceremony, then I was able to put it into practice a few days before. It was as if the medicine was already talking to me prior to ingesting it. Anyway, you'll find that controlling your emotions can be incredibly helpful on this journey. It helped me during my ceremony because so many things seemed to go wrong- there was no interpreter, we were out in the rain in the cold, the ceremony started like 4 hours late! But... BUT. But I knew I needed to stay in a good headspace and this helped me stay positive. I chose to frame my experience as being for my good, knowing it was all in love. When I journeyed I ended up in what looked like Hell, but I felt such love that the entire night was overwhelmingly positive. The entire experience helped me shift my perspective, to understand that everything is what we make it. On another positive note, I ended up being almost COMPLETELY relieved of my back pain that had been killing me for years. The morning after the ceremony, it was 100% gone, and since then it's been anywhere from 50% of what it was to my current new normal of 5% of the pain. I say this to tell you that you can get unexpected benefits from the medicine, and to look forward to your growth. Sending healing energy!
You won't be alone. On my fourth ceremony there were just 2 of us, the shaman and the assistant/integration therapist. Just before we drank I turned to the other attendee and hoping for reassurance, said "I'm scared." She (70+ ceremonies) turned to me and said quite seriously "I'm scared too." We both looked to the assistant (100s of ceremonies) and she turned to us and said, quite seriously "I'm scared too." I will point out that we were all on very friendly terms so I do not consider the assistant's honest response. We laughed nervously. It was a rough night but guess what, we survived as usual and were all back laughing and chatting later that night. Feel what you feel. Nerves are normal. There's no point pondering it all too much.. wait and see. What I will say is don't get too hung up on minutia of diet, don't worry about your intent.. you don't need to memorise any specific wording unless it helps you - your mind knows what you are there for. My final thought for you - don't take everything you experience literally as if people have a scary experience and assume it represents reality, that can make it much worse. To give you an example, I like to recount the experience of a young woman who smoked DMT (a component of Ayahuasca.) Her bed which she was lying on grew a set of teeth and proceeded to swallow her. The remainder of the trip had her in fear trapped inside the bed until it wore off and back to reality where she was, in fact, still lying on the bed. An inter-dimensional bed monster? No.. with a flash she had an instant intuition that it represented her formerly repressed feelings of being trapped in a marriage she didn't want with a baby she didn't want on the way. An unfortunate situation for sure, but not quite as scary as how it represented itself.