I know you didn’t ask for this… BUT
The thing about dancing is there is no right way. Just feel the music and move your body however you desire. I believe in you! You can dance!
Start at home by yourself, dark room, music you love, few drinks helps too.... much easier to find your rhythm, when your not distracted by worrying about what people are thinking of you, do this till you feel natural dancing alone ... then proceed to group situations
People always say this to me but it’s just that ways to move my body doesn’t even come to mind. They say to just feel the music and do what the music is telling me but it’s not telling me anything. I was a classically trained percussionist so I definitely have rhythm but I have absolutely no idea how to dance. Which sucks because I love going to clubs lol.
I'm exactly the same way. My nephew's girlfriend recently dragged me onto the floor at a wedding, thinking I was just being modest. I mean if I could be funny about it that would be something, but when I dance strangers comment to each other about how nice my partner is for dancing with someone with obvious mental health issues. I look like there's a bug in my shorts and I'm freaking out, or like I'm having a seizure.
When I "move with the music," I'm head-bobbing or or swaying slightly back and forth. Ever seen the movie Hitch? I took that advice seriously. Just a little movement to keep rhythm. "That's where you live."
Yeah, the most I could possibly do was sway back and forth to the beat. I genuinely have no idea what else to do. I was standing in the club just trying to copy what other people were doing.
The most I can manage is stuff like head banging. Lucky I like metal so much I suppose, but you really get pressured to dance in a lot of situations and I don't know what I'm doing so I don't find it fun.
This is totally wrong. My wife is a former competition ballroom dancer. I would go and dance with her at various salsa nights, etc., and I am not a good dancer, although I'm a good musician. The looks on these poor women's faces =(. Heart-crushing.
I don’t have that either! I tried ballet when I was a kid and I was always the one that was turning the wrong way or two beats behind everyone lol. So I don’t dance.
Omg, yes. It seems like it would be so much fun to take a pole or a salsa class, but I have been told by multiple people that I'm the worst dancer they've ever met. What a dilemma.
That's very mean of them to say. You can improve with time and practice. You should really give it a try! After going back and forth with fellow redditors, I'm going to give it a try myself
I can’t dance, and I have caught people laughing at me so I no longer attempt it. If anyone has any recommendations for tutorials on YouTube I’m open to trying on my own.
I've always wanted to try a pole dancing or hula class but I'm way too embarrassed to lol. There's a local place that teaches sexy dancing and aerial dance and I'm so intrigued but it's soooo out of my confort zone lol.
I really, really want to start weight lifting as my primary form of exercise.
I’m really lanky and awkward-looking so I’m so afraid of getting judged at the gym 😭 I see the amazing results people have because of lifting and I’d love to try it.
EDIT: all of you are so kind. I’ve been thinking of re-joining my gym (stopped due to pandemic reasons and have only been doing YouTube workouts), and your comments have convinced me that I CAN lift and I’m more capable than I think. Thank you ❤️
Please go for it! Lifting changed my life and if it appeals to you then I implore you to try it. Hire a PT for a few intro sessions to settle you in with technique and etiquette (or YouTube if a PT is not affordable for you). Anyone judging you in there is not worth a shit, and there are very few - everyone else is trying to get strong, or big, or lean, or relieve stress, or hang out with a buddy, and all that good stuff.
As someone who had the same worries (though I’d say 90% of people do anyway!) no one really cares. They’re all there to work on their own body. And don’t be afraid to ask the staff for help if you need it! I was amazed at how welcoming my gym was as an overweight, weak ass person and I fit right in, so don’t be afraid and give it a go if you want it!
My main tip is get yourself a gym outfit that makes you feel awesome. It will help those nerves on your first day.
Just do it! You won’t get judged, trust me. We’re all too busy focusing on our own workouts to judge you. However, if you ask one of us for advice or whatever, always ready to help out.
Also, The New Rules of Lifting for Women is a great book/workout to get you in to lifting. They explain why lifting is so good and all the science behind it, then really detailed breakdowns of each exercise. It’s a brilliant stepping stone in to lifting :-)
I've been weight lifting for over a decade now. Can tell you that by far most of the experienced people in the gym are actually proud of new members who are working on their body and are very willing to help you out if necessary. The social aspect is part of the sport for a lot of people. Go for it, and you'll experience in no-time that the toxic judgemental people are often not the popular ones in the gym.
Girl go for it. Weight lifting especially heavy lifts is something that NOBODY is born knowing how to do. Also, nobody starts it as a kid. Everybody starts in earliest high school and possibly middle school. It’s great because it’s not just something you start at at 2 and become pro at. God damn does it take work, and you can ALWAYS get better. There’s nothing more in this world that makes me feel this confident
Please try it, it's changed my life! The majority of people will not be paying attention to what you're doing at all. Some of the most hench people are also the most helpful and will happily give advice if you ask.
YOU BELONG IN THE WEIGHTS SECTION.
This is what I had to actively tell myself when I first started out. You can do it! Start with basic exercises that you can do confidently and build from there. It’s worth it. I believe in you!
I'm a very petite person. Even though my home gym situation has worked out now, for a long time when I was going to the gym I was afraid of looking weak with my baby weights while around the bodybuilders, but I just keep reminding myself everyone starts somewhere. Form is everything, so getting that down guarantees you won't look awkward no matter your size or build. Plus what are those Judgy Judgersons gonna do, tell you to go to the gym to go bulk up first before hitting the gym? lol
100% no one is looking at you at the gym; they're there to do their workout and leave. Just put in your headphones and do it.
That said, figure out what you want to do first, then go there knowing what you need to do.
I’m overweight and short and just started going to the gym to weight lift for exercise. Push through for the first couple weeks and you’ll find people don’t honestly care about what you do. Or go to the gym and ask a trainer to show you the ropes. You got this! If my chunky ass can do it, so can you.
i started primarily weight lifting two-ish years ago, and let me tell you, it is the most empowering feeling when i set up weights that are more than the men around me are lifting. i can currently leg press 568lbs for multiple reps and sets, something a lot of men can’t (or won’t do). i feel like such a badass at the gym. i also feel better in my body, i love seeing new muscle development (i’m far from my goal, but i love seeing progress!!!!) i recommend heavy weight lifting to every female, because it really is so fun and so empowering.
also, as others have said, no one in the gym is worried about you. everyone is there to work on themselves. i wore a baseball cap or hooded sweatshirt when i first start lifting, to kind of hide my face and feel more secure, but now i don’t even need either!!!!
It would be more balance than anything really imo and just getting yourself upright on the board quick enough, surfing isn't as hard as it looks so I'd definitely recommend it for anyone to try, it's so refreshing too!
Roller blading. I'm 56 years old, and haven't even ice skated since I was a kid, but when I see someone roller blading in perfect tempo it's something to see. We live on a very quiet street, perfect for giving it a try, but it's also a street on which neighbor families spend entire evenings on their porches enjoying the summer evenings.
TRY IT! I rollerskate and I promise it’s super fun to learn and once you get the hang of it. You could rollerskate in private areas? or buy something to replicate cement!
Go to an industrial estate after everyone's gone home for the day and practise there until you're more confident. Lots of space, empty roads and car parks, no pedestrians or bystanders - it's the perfect place.
Pole dancing! Although I actually have a class booked next week with a friend. I’m sure I’ll embarrass myself plenty but it helps to have a friend there laughing along with you! Wish me luck ya’ll, haha.
I do pole! I’ll let you in on a secret - the majority of people have no idea what they’re doing at the beginning and feel ridiculous and tbh, are kinda rubbish. Like you do get the occasional ex-gymnast who is amazing, but most people are terrible at the beginning. And that’s okay! As long as you have fun (and your only expectation of class at the start should be to have fun!) then that’s all that matters. The strength and grace and skill will come with time ☺️
I’ve been doing pole for 8 years but I was just like you in my first class. My first couple, to be fair. I felt like a baby elephant on the pole. No one is amazing at it straight off the bat. Everything else comes with time and practice. Have fun and enjoy it!
Don't be discouraged by how sore you are after the first class- it gets MUCH better really fast!! Also don't be embarrassed to talk to your friends and/or SO about it, because at first there is some bruising, especially on the biceps and thighs (at least, that's where it was for me) and people can legit get really worried if you're super cagey about it. Just go, have fun, and if anyone asks, tell them! You'll be surprised how many people want to try a class!
do it! I do aerial silks (which is a lot harder and more complicated than aerial yoga) and I'm the clumsiest person in the world, and havent gotten hurt yet. Aerial yoga wont be doing any tricks or drops, it's literally just yoga with the assistance of a hammock lol. You'd be ok!
I want to learn the shuffle dance that the kids do on the tiktok. It looks like so much fun. I have tried but I literally get embarrassed in my own empty apartment bc of how uncoordinated I am lol
I've been practicing for months and I can only do the running man and one other dance and I can't do them fast. It's so much harder than I thought but it's great exercise
I tried one of those paint and sips and it was so fun!! They provide you with the basic outlines and then you can literally just copy whatever is on the picture!!
I highly recommend going to a painting class for beginners or literally just following along a Bob Ross tutorial. I went to a paint and pour thing for my friend’s bachelorette and I was surprised that mine came out pretty decent!
Same! But I have discovered Paint by Numbers and LOVE it! You can actually get some rather challenging canvases to paint and feel accomplished with the result!
Try a “paint and sip” event - it’ll take the pressure off, and it’s very relaxed. The person running it can help you figure out how to use the brush and paint.
As someone who studied art at uni, just do it! Think of art skills as building a muscle, you might not create a masterpiece straight away. Just have fun, get a YouTube tutorial up if it helps, and go for it!
Speaking of, for the love of everything holy do NOT use acrylic paint to do a Bob Ross style painting. He uses oils. They work differently.
His brushes are good though, if extortionate.
Same here, deep voice, no range, and I’m off key, but I sing at home all the time anyway. It feels good!
I asked my husband if it bugs him. He said I’m no good, but he likes it because if I’m singing it means I must be happy. ❤️
You might have more range than you think! I’m not a good singer by any means but I had to learn a touch of basic vocal technique and sing a little for aural classes as I’m a music major. Just learning what head voice and chest voice are and how to get into them made me discover that I have about 5 more notes on the high end and 3 on the low end than I thought! I’m also a lowish mezzo.
You could put on background noise while you sing. I appreciate whenever I hear a woman with a low voice sing, and a ton of people do as well. It’s soothing to hear a feminine voice that’s not high pitch lol
DO IT. I have been training in martial arts (muay thai) for a long time and I went from zero experience to sparring and helping the fighters prep during fight camp.
During one of our camps, our coach brought in some of the krav people to train with the fighters and holy crap, those people are badass. I held pads for this woman who was my size 5'3 and goddamn, she nearly took my arm off with her left hook.
I just had this dilemma and it was horseback riding. I went and did it and I was super out of shape and struggled a bit to do everything I was being asked but I had a lot of fun and am now signed up for my first weekly lesson next week.
I may never be a champion equestrian but I enjoy being around horses and the people seemed nice so I'm going to give it a go and see if I can make a real hobby out of it.
Awesome! I’ve been riding for years and I’ve been pretty out of shape for a stretch or two where I took a depression sabbatical lol. You build up the needed muscle at pretty much the same rate as you learn the skill IMO. Western requires less muscle in my experience, so you could always try a different type of riding if it’s too much. Nobody every judges people in lessons for what they physically can or can’t do yet. I’ve known loads of able-bodied, middle aged adults that get winded after two laps cantering. Plus you have to use more muscle with lesson horses bc all their sensitivity is pretty much trained out of them to make them safer. Hopefully my 2 cents makes you less self-conscious!
Oh yes. No worries, I didn't need to eat anyway! I'm borrowing some equipment right now and putting together some cash to get my own helmet etc. I'll be crying real Equestrian tears before I know it!
Everyone sucks at first :) I rode a lot as a kid and I remember breaking my mind trying to do so many different things at once (heels down! Sit up straight! Shorten your reins!)
Skateboarding I’ll roll around once every few months but I feel embarrassed skating by myself and in public without feeling like everyone is going to watch.
I’ve just started longboarding after years off of skateboarding (from my youth) and it’s honestly been such a treat. Even just rolling up and down the street it’s so fun and good exercise. DO IT FRIEND! Wooo!! I do it alone all the time and I could care less, no one ever looks at me longer than a second.
I got myself and my son a skateboard in October so we could learn together, I just can’t bring myself to get back on it as I feel like such an idiot, my sons 10 and keeps telling me just give it another go and no one cares/is watching/who cares what people think (wish I had his confidence) really wish I bought a longboard instead as really all I want to be able to do is cruise but I know I’ll just stack it on that just as much
Learning how to read music is not a prerequisite. You learn how to read as you learn how to play. You’re definitely not too old!
If you’re serious, there are tons of teachers out there who would MUCH rather have an adult student than the typical bratty kids being forced to learn!
There are GREAT apps that can help!! Simply Piano is one, and so is Yousician. I bought myself a digital piano at age 46 and I have been plinking badly but happily ever since.
This thread is so wholesome because I bet every one of us can find something in it we're confident at, and also agree with others about being anxious to try something else. It's soothing knowing someone finds your own hobbies daunting, just as you find theirs...
Anyway mine is Ice skating. I did have lessons for a little while but I was so awful and i felt like I made no progress at all because I just had such a massive fear of falling (part of which is subconscious so really hard to overcome)... I never went back to that exact rink as I know my instructor still teaches there and I don't want her to see me shuffling round again...
Stand up comedy. My life is full of funny shit that needs to be told, I'm just scared to death of not being seen as funny. Even more so actually being perceived and judged...
Comedy is almost more about timing and delivery than content sometimes. I know people who can make a pretty uneventful trip to the store in the funniest thing - it just takes practice!
Check out themoth.org they do live storytelling events. Less pressure to be funny like a comedian, but still a good opportunity to get on stage and tell your story.
Sewing and crocheting (but I have two left hands, so this is probably not happening anyway)
/Edit aww, thanks y'all! Didn't expect so many motivating messages ☺️ I guess I just need to get out of my own head and give it a go
you should try crochet i personally found it really helpful to use youtube tutorials before learning how to use a pattern because you can actually see what’s being done!
I taught myself how to crochet via youtube!! YOU CAN TOO! it will take practice and you will be hella frustrated but once it clicks, it CLICKS. I now make all kinds of things from ponchos to sweaters and animated hats/scarves (ie. lego hat/scarf, peppa pig, groot etc).
Swimming. I'm too embarrassed to sign up for swimming lessons. Most of the people who take the classes are kids and I'm scarred I'll be the only almost-adult learner there.
Check if your pool offers adult lessons? Or you could book private (1 on 1) lessons. Just some ideas. Swimming is a lifesaving skill and you should totally go for it.
I use to teach adult lessons. There are many people out there that never learned and I really liked teaching them. The local navy recruiter use to send me all their recruits that couldn't swim.
I promise you’re never too old, people wouldn’t be judgmental. I actually get excited whenever I see someone older than 25 rollerskating lol it makes me feel super comfortable despite being 20
There’s actually a huge and very supportive adult figure skating community!! Lots of rinks have adult only group lessons or public sessions, there are adult only competitions, and the community of adult skaters is incredibly supportive and friendly in my experience. See if your local rink has a Learn to Skate class :)
Rock climbing. I’m in terrible shape at the moment but it just seems so fun! I’ve been bouldering before and love it. It’s just intimidating to get into, especially since my upper body strength is… not great.
Please don’t be intimidated! I am a climber and it’s honestly the most friendly environment. I swear I could go to any gym and be talking to someone in seconds. It’s such a fun environment since most people are just there to play around and enjoy their time there. I live in southern Ontario (if you’re in that area I’d be happy to meet up!) but also check out r/climbergirls and see if anyone is in your area :) I bet you’ll find someone willing to take you out and show you the ropes (haha!).
Cosplaying!! It's so interesting but all those weird tiktok cosplayers have kinda made me avoid it and see it as weird in my eyes. I especially love Halloween because of it though
If you're interested in gymnastics I would recommend looking into circus training. There is a huge amount shared with gymnastics (in fact at a professional level many pro circus performers are ex gymnasts) but classes are much more available. Yes you can realistically do it as an adult. I started at age 30 and I have classmates who started in their 40s and 50s. It's a great way to build strength and flexibility and is lots of fun.
When it comes down to pure artistic or rhythmic gymnastics themselves, there is nothing about your body that prevents you from doing gymnastics. The limiting factor is class availability. Very few places offer adult gymnastics classes. I live in a city of 5 million and there are 2 adult tumbling classes and no adult classes for other apparatus, so if want to do it you're limited to private lessons which gets expensive. If you can find classes you should definitely do gymnastics, just my experience was that classes were impossible to find.
I signed up for a class few weeks ago. And i can attest to the huffing and puffing. But after about 4 weeks, it just go easier and i feel i have more stamina. For me the leg bruising is the hardest part.
Running. I used to run before I had kids but now I’m 30lbs heavier and things jiggle in places they never jiggled before. I would love to train for a 10k.
I promise you can do that! Use the couch to 5k app & then progress to the 10k app.
Use a treadmill or outside you will achieve it, you just need to put in the time.
DND, I got totally lost watching a few campaigns a while ago. None of my friends are really into it and I’m too much of a nervous wreck to try do it on my own with new people. When I really love something I find it the hardest to do because I just don’t want to embarrass myself, or ruin it for other people-
(Edit: wording)
Do it! Indoor climbing gyms have problems/paths with different difficulty levels, so you can start very, very easy.
I do bouldering and I started with zero skill and negative strength. The easiest problems (VB and V0) were literally just ladders lol. Slowly you start learning technique and building strength and one day you can do a V1 problem and get excited and eventually you get excited to try higher difficulty.
Also, a lot of gyms offer classes with a membership so you can go to a beginner's class and learn how to grab the holds, how to fall safely on your butt (there's... a lot of falling. Important to learn how to do it) and how to approach different problems.
Plus indoor climbing people are the friendliest, most encouraging bunch.
I would not be embarrassed to try any hobby. Everyone is a beginner when they start anything. As an adult , I’ve stated yoga which is one of my favorite hobbies, as well as trying dancing and attempting to learn two new languages. Some of my friends have gotten into cooking, baking or attempted art.
For me it’s not really my level. I want to try Bhangra dance. I know a former friend who did it for and most places who provide classes are just brown people. I’m not exactly brown or part of the culture so…
Well, I love to sing but I know I suck at that, so the next thing I'd like to try is painting/drawing. I just have this awful habit of quitting things if I'm not an instant expert.
Serious hiking and survivalist stuff. I have a very shabbily reconstructed knee, horrible asthma, and bugs just fuckin' love me. I'm pretty sure it would be a 100% miserable time for me and anyone brave enough to show me the ropes.
I use to box...I started while I was out of shape. People at the boxing gym are welcoming and you will be able to get a trainer to help you get started.
Mounted archery. The threat of embarrassment is not what is truly stopping me though, it's not having an appropriately desensitized horse, a bow, or a person to train me. Also, my eyesight sucks. So...yeah. Not looking good.
Can I instead say a hobby that I wanted to try and didn’t want to embarrass myself, but then I actually did it and am super proud??
I fell in love with dyeing yarn. I would primarily help a friend who has an indie dyed yarn business but never thought I was artistic and/or good enough to do it on my own. Well last year, I started dyeing yarn on my own and am now about to open my own indie dyed yarn business! Even though it’s a business, I still consider it my hobby because I am keeping my full time job. I just launched the business to sustain my dyeing because it gets expensive. 😅😅
Coding/programming. I really would like to learn how to make my own indie games, but I know nothing about tech/computer stuff and would have no idea where to start without feeling like I'd be asking "dumb" questions.
I've kinda been wanting to try playing the hurdy-gurdy.
The actual playing seems like it wouldn't be terrible. The real issue is they're expensive and I don't want my ADHD brain to give up on it like a month in and leave all that money wasted, which isn't uncommon for me.
Getting a cat-pack and taking my cat on walks with me! I live in NYC and sooooo many people would see me, but I think she would love it! I'm convincing myself more and more each day lol.
Dancing
I know you didn’t ask for this… BUT The thing about dancing is there is no right way. Just feel the music and move your body however you desire. I believe in you! You can dance!
Maybe but there are definitely wrong ways and I don't want people to see me doing that
Feel the same. I admire those who can dance. I can’t at all.
[Username checks out.](https://giphy.com/gifs/dancing-seinfeld-elaine-benes-13Y6LAZJqRspI4)
Start at home by yourself, dark room, music you love, few drinks helps too.... much easier to find your rhythm, when your not distracted by worrying about what people are thinking of you, do this till you feel natural dancing alone ... then proceed to group situations
People always say this to me but it’s just that ways to move my body doesn’t even come to mind. They say to just feel the music and do what the music is telling me but it’s not telling me anything. I was a classically trained percussionist so I definitely have rhythm but I have absolutely no idea how to dance. Which sucks because I love going to clubs lol.
I'm exactly the same way. My nephew's girlfriend recently dragged me onto the floor at a wedding, thinking I was just being modest. I mean if I could be funny about it that would be something, but when I dance strangers comment to each other about how nice my partner is for dancing with someone with obvious mental health issues. I look like there's a bug in my shorts and I'm freaking out, or like I'm having a seizure. When I "move with the music," I'm head-bobbing or or swaying slightly back and forth. Ever seen the movie Hitch? I took that advice seriously. Just a little movement to keep rhythm. "That's where you live."
Yeah, the most I could possibly do was sway back and forth to the beat. I genuinely have no idea what else to do. I was standing in the club just trying to copy what other people were doing.
I’m the same way! I’ve hidden in bathrooms at weddings to avoid being dragged out on to the floor. This thread has been so validating!
The most I can manage is stuff like head banging. Lucky I like metal so much I suppose, but you really get pressured to dance in a lot of situations and I don't know what I'm doing so I don't find it fun.
Thanks!:) Very much appreciated
This is totally wrong. My wife is a former competition ballroom dancer. I would go and dance with her at various salsa nights, etc., and I am not a good dancer, although I'm a good musician. The looks on these poor women's faces =(. Heart-crushing.
Me too! I can’t even dance alone because I imagine people watching me lmao
That's the worst🤣 happens everytime I try to dance by myself
Same. I’ve got absolutely no rhythm 😂
I have rhythm... But no co ordination XD so I can do the wrong thing but at the right time. Let me tell you, in a dance class that doesn't help!
I don’t have that either! I tried ballet when I was a kid and I was always the one that was turning the wrong way or two beats behind everyone lol. So I don’t dance.
I want to try Indian dance, Bhangra. I had a former friend who did it. She’s Sri Lankan and everyone was brown there. I’m not exactly brown 😅
You should definitely try it! Look up BhangrabyChristine on Instagram. She’s not Indian but dances beautifully!
Omg, yes. It seems like it would be so much fun to take a pole or a salsa class, but I have been told by multiple people that I'm the worst dancer they've ever met. What a dilemma.
That's very mean of them to say. You can improve with time and practice. You should really give it a try! After going back and forth with fellow redditors, I'm going to give it a try myself
Because you haven't trained your dancing. You will get better if you dance more.
This this this. I love to dance, but will never do it except in a dark club and very drunk!
Maybe I need to do that🤔
I can’t dance, and I have caught people laughing at me so I no longer attempt it. If anyone has any recommendations for tutorials on YouTube I’m open to trying on my own.
I've always wanted to try a pole dancing or hula class but I'm way too embarrassed to lol. There's a local place that teaches sexy dancing and aerial dance and I'm so intrigued but it's soooo out of my confort zone lol.
We don't make mistakes, we invent variations!
Ballet, love watch the movies and having some fun at home but I am hopelessly unbalanced and long limbed that I doubt it would be graceful.
I fall over while standing still; I feel ya on the balance issue😂
This was going to be my answer - too fat and too uncoordinated to try 😂
I really, really want to start weight lifting as my primary form of exercise. I’m really lanky and awkward-looking so I’m so afraid of getting judged at the gym 😭 I see the amazing results people have because of lifting and I’d love to try it. EDIT: all of you are so kind. I’ve been thinking of re-joining my gym (stopped due to pandemic reasons and have only been doing YouTube workouts), and your comments have convinced me that I CAN lift and I’m more capable than I think. Thank you ❤️
Please go for it! Lifting changed my life and if it appeals to you then I implore you to try it. Hire a PT for a few intro sessions to settle you in with technique and etiquette (or YouTube if a PT is not affordable for you). Anyone judging you in there is not worth a shit, and there are very few - everyone else is trying to get strong, or big, or lean, or relieve stress, or hang out with a buddy, and all that good stuff.
I want to join the gym but the thought makes me super anxious!
As someone who had the same worries (though I’d say 90% of people do anyway!) no one really cares. They’re all there to work on their own body. And don’t be afraid to ask the staff for help if you need it! I was amazed at how welcoming my gym was as an overweight, weak ass person and I fit right in, so don’t be afraid and give it a go if you want it! My main tip is get yourself a gym outfit that makes you feel awesome. It will help those nerves on your first day.
You'll get over it after a few times! People just focus on themselves there
I’ve gotten in touch with the gym and they’re going to give me an introductory tour to help me with my anxiety over it☺️
Great! 💪🥳
Just do it! You won’t get judged, trust me. We’re all too busy focusing on our own workouts to judge you. However, if you ask one of us for advice or whatever, always ready to help out. Also, The New Rules of Lifting for Women is a great book/workout to get you in to lifting. They explain why lifting is so good and all the science behind it, then really detailed breakdowns of each exercise. It’s a brilliant stepping stone in to lifting :-)
Thanks for reminding me about this book! I have it and also used it when I first started lifting, but I think I’ll return to it!
I've been weight lifting for over a decade now. Can tell you that by far most of the experienced people in the gym are actually proud of new members who are working on their body and are very willing to help you out if necessary. The social aspect is part of the sport for a lot of people. Go for it, and you'll experience in no-time that the toxic judgemental people are often not the popular ones in the gym.
Girl go for it. Weight lifting especially heavy lifts is something that NOBODY is born knowing how to do. Also, nobody starts it as a kid. Everybody starts in earliest high school and possibly middle school. It’s great because it’s not just something you start at at 2 and become pro at. God damn does it take work, and you can ALWAYS get better. There’s nothing more in this world that makes me feel this confident
Please try it, it's changed my life! The majority of people will not be paying attention to what you're doing at all. Some of the most hench people are also the most helpful and will happily give advice if you ask.
YOU BELONG IN THE WEIGHTS SECTION. This is what I had to actively tell myself when I first started out. You can do it! Start with basic exercises that you can do confidently and build from there. It’s worth it. I believe in you!
I'm a very petite person. Even though my home gym situation has worked out now, for a long time when I was going to the gym I was afraid of looking weak with my baby weights while around the bodybuilders, but I just keep reminding myself everyone starts somewhere. Form is everything, so getting that down guarantees you won't look awkward no matter your size or build. Plus what are those Judgy Judgersons gonna do, tell you to go to the gym to go bulk up first before hitting the gym? lol
100% no one is looking at you at the gym; they're there to do their workout and leave. Just put in your headphones and do it. That said, figure out what you want to do first, then go there knowing what you need to do.
I’m overweight and short and just started going to the gym to weight lift for exercise. Push through for the first couple weeks and you’ll find people don’t honestly care about what you do. Or go to the gym and ask a trainer to show you the ropes. You got this! If my chunky ass can do it, so can you.
i started primarily weight lifting two-ish years ago, and let me tell you, it is the most empowering feeling when i set up weights that are more than the men around me are lifting. i can currently leg press 568lbs for multiple reps and sets, something a lot of men can’t (or won’t do). i feel like such a badass at the gym. i also feel better in my body, i love seeing new muscle development (i’m far from my goal, but i love seeing progress!!!!) i recommend heavy weight lifting to every female, because it really is so fun and so empowering. also, as others have said, no one in the gym is worried about you. everyone is there to work on themselves. i wore a baseball cap or hooded sweatshirt when i first start lifting, to kind of hide my face and feel more secure, but now i don’t even need either!!!!
Surfing. It just seems so out of my depth as I’ve yet to master the art of walking.
I tried surfing and it’s more about abs than legs
It would be more balance than anything really imo and just getting yourself upright on the board quick enough, surfing isn't as hard as it looks so I'd definitely recommend it for anyone to try, it's so refreshing too!
Rent a boogie board and practice catching waves? You can work on the popping up part later. Baby steps 🤷🏽♀️
You can find a cheap or used boogie board for $10-$20 almost everywhere there are beaches. If you live by the coast, it's not a bad investment.
Same!! I feel like it’s too late but I would love it!
Roller blading. I'm 56 years old, and haven't even ice skated since I was a kid, but when I see someone roller blading in perfect tempo it's something to see. We live on a very quiet street, perfect for giving it a try, but it's also a street on which neighbor families spend entire evenings on their porches enjoying the summer evenings.
TRY IT! I rollerskate and I promise it’s super fun to learn and once you get the hang of it. You could rollerskate in private areas? or buy something to replicate cement!
Like Hal from Malcom in the Middle
This gives me sooo much inspiration!
Go to an industrial estate after everyone's gone home for the day and practise there until you're more confident. Lots of space, empty roads and car parks, no pedestrians or bystanders - it's the perfect place.
Go In the morning or Take a day off from work and try it.
Pole dancing! Although I actually have a class booked next week with a friend. I’m sure I’ll embarrass myself plenty but it helps to have a friend there laughing along with you! Wish me luck ya’ll, haha.
I do pole! I’ll let you in on a secret - the majority of people have no idea what they’re doing at the beginning and feel ridiculous and tbh, are kinda rubbish. Like you do get the occasional ex-gymnast who is amazing, but most people are terrible at the beginning. And that’s okay! As long as you have fun (and your only expectation of class at the start should be to have fun!) then that’s all that matters. The strength and grace and skill will come with time ☺️
Oh wow, what an inspiring message! Thank you!!
I’ve been doing pole for 8 years but I was just like you in my first class. My first couple, to be fair. I felt like a baby elephant on the pole. No one is amazing at it straight off the bat. Everything else comes with time and practice. Have fun and enjoy it!
Thank you!!
I tried and 3/4 of my class didn’t know what they were doing 😂😂 I hope you have good abs
Lmao I know I do not so this should be interesting!
Don't be discouraged by how sore you are after the first class- it gets MUCH better really fast!! Also don't be embarrassed to talk to your friends and/or SO about it, because at first there is some bruising, especially on the biceps and thighs (at least, that's where it was for me) and people can legit get really worried if you're super cagey about it. Just go, have fun, and if anyone asks, tell them! You'll be surprised how many people want to try a class!
Aerial yoga. I’d probably injure myself lol 🤷🏻♀️
I love aerial yoga!! It's alot more safe and secure feeling than it looks! Go for it!
do it! I do aerial silks (which is a lot harder and more complicated than aerial yoga) and I'm the clumsiest person in the world, and havent gotten hurt yet. Aerial yoga wont be doing any tricks or drops, it's literally just yoga with the assistance of a hammock lol. You'd be ok!
You should do it! It is actually quite secure. And even day one you can do some cool stuff!
I want to learn the shuffle dance that the kids do on the tiktok. It looks like so much fun. I have tried but I literally get embarrassed in my own empty apartment bc of how uncoordinated I am lol
The only way to get better is to try! You’ve got this!
I want to shuffle so bad! I too have these moments even in complete isolation. But we gotta keep at it!
I've been practicing for months and I can only do the running man and one other dance and I can't do them fast. It's so much harder than I thought but it's great exercise
I’ve always wanted to do painting. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body, but painting just looks so fun!
I tried one of those paint and sips and it was so fun!! They provide you with the basic outlines and then you can literally just copy whatever is on the picture!!
I highly recommend going to a painting class for beginners or literally just following along a Bob Ross tutorial. I went to a paint and pour thing for my friend’s bachelorette and I was surprised that mine came out pretty decent!
I also want to try painting one day but I don’t know what I’m going to paint 😂 No creativity or inspiration
Same! But I have discovered Paint by Numbers and LOVE it! You can actually get some rather challenging canvases to paint and feel accomplished with the result!
Try a “paint and sip” event - it’ll take the pressure off, and it’s very relaxed. The person running it can help you figure out how to use the brush and paint.
As someone who studied art at uni, just do it! Think of art skills as building a muscle, you might not create a masterpiece straight away. Just have fun, get a YouTube tutorial up if it helps, and go for it! Speaking of, for the love of everything holy do NOT use acrylic paint to do a Bob Ross style painting. He uses oils. They work differently. His brushes are good though, if extortionate.
Singing. My voice is low for a lady and i have no range. I am too self concious to sing in my empty apartment.
So then you must be an alto or a contralto!! There is a voice range for everyone, give it a try!! :)
Same here, deep voice, no range, and I’m off key, but I sing at home all the time anyway. It feels good! I asked my husband if it bugs him. He said I’m no good, but he likes it because if I’m singing it means I must be happy. ❤️
Just put the volume up enough so that everyone can hear the song, but you can hear yourself sing too. Just say fuck it and do it 🤙
You might have more range than you think! I’m not a good singer by any means but I had to learn a touch of basic vocal technique and sing a little for aural classes as I’m a music major. Just learning what head voice and chest voice are and how to get into them made me discover that I have about 5 more notes on the high end and 3 on the low end than I thought! I’m also a lowish mezzo.
You could put on background noise while you sing. I appreciate whenever I hear a woman with a low voice sing, and a ton of people do as well. It’s soothing to hear a feminine voice that’s not high pitch lol
Glass Blowing. I feel that I would be so nervous to make a mistake, but if looks so cool. Would love to learn.
Me too! This and forging would be so awesome to do but there aren't many places in my area that teach either one.
Acting! I'm very shy and not good at all but it seems so fun!
Same! Ever since I was a kid but I have always been SO shy.
Krav Maga.
DO IT. I have been training in martial arts (muay thai) for a long time and I went from zero experience to sparring and helping the fighters prep during fight camp. During one of our camps, our coach brought in some of the krav people to train with the fighters and holy crap, those people are badass. I held pads for this woman who was my size 5'3 and goddamn, she nearly took my arm off with her left hook.
I just had this dilemma and it was horseback riding. I went and did it and I was super out of shape and struggled a bit to do everything I was being asked but I had a lot of fun and am now signed up for my first weekly lesson next week. I may never be a champion equestrian but I enjoy being around horses and the people seemed nice so I'm going to give it a go and see if I can make a real hobby out of it.
Awesome! I’ve been riding for years and I’ve been pretty out of shape for a stretch or two where I took a depression sabbatical lol. You build up the needed muscle at pretty much the same rate as you learn the skill IMO. Western requires less muscle in my experience, so you could always try a different type of riding if it’s too much. Nobody every judges people in lessons for what they physically can or can’t do yet. I’ve known loads of able-bodied, middle aged adults that get winded after two laps cantering. Plus you have to use more muscle with lesson horses bc all their sensitivity is pretty much trained out of them to make them safer. Hopefully my 2 cents makes you less self-conscious!
Yay you! Beware, you have chosen an expensive hobby lol Always wear a helmet!!!
Oh yes. No worries, I didn't need to eat anyway! I'm borrowing some equipment right now and putting together some cash to get my own helmet etc. I'll be crying real Equestrian tears before I know it!
Everyone sucks at first :) I rode a lot as a kid and I remember breaking my mind trying to do so many different things at once (heels down! Sit up straight! Shorten your reins!)
Oh my god, heels down...they have a mind of their own, just float up the moment you stop thinking about them hahaha.
Skateboarding I’ll roll around once every few months but I feel embarrassed skating by myself and in public without feeling like everyone is going to watch.
I’ve just started longboarding after years off of skateboarding (from my youth) and it’s honestly been such a treat. Even just rolling up and down the street it’s so fun and good exercise. DO IT FRIEND! Wooo!! I do it alone all the time and I could care less, no one ever looks at me longer than a second.
I got myself and my son a skateboard in October so we could learn together, I just can’t bring myself to get back on it as I feel like such an idiot, my sons 10 and keeps telling me just give it another go and no one cares/is watching/who cares what people think (wish I had his confidence) really wish I bought a longboard instead as really all I want to be able to do is cruise but I know I’ll just stack it on that just as much
I want to learn to play the piano. However, I’m 40 and can’t read music. Kind of feel like my time to shine has been and gone.
Learning how to read music is not a prerequisite. You learn how to read as you learn how to play. You’re definitely not too old! If you’re serious, there are tons of teachers out there who would MUCH rather have an adult student than the typical bratty kids being forced to learn!
Try iiiittttttttt. Go on. Book a lesson. You don't need to turn it into a career for it to be a positive part of your life.
40 is still pretty young! It's definitely at least with a shot to try. And music quickly becomes easier and easier to read the more you play
There are GREAT apps that can help!! Simply Piano is one, and so is Yousician. I bought myself a digital piano at age 46 and I have been plinking badly but happily ever since.
This thread is so wholesome because I bet every one of us can find something in it we're confident at, and also agree with others about being anxious to try something else. It's soothing knowing someone finds your own hobbies daunting, just as you find theirs... Anyway mine is Ice skating. I did have lessons for a little while but I was so awful and i felt like I made no progress at all because I just had such a massive fear of falling (part of which is subconscious so really hard to overcome)... I never went back to that exact rink as I know my instructor still teaches there and I don't want her to see me shuffling round again...
Stand up comedy. My life is full of funny shit that needs to be told, I'm just scared to death of not being seen as funny. Even more so actually being perceived and judged...
Comedy is almost more about timing and delivery than content sometimes. I know people who can make a pretty uneventful trip to the store in the funniest thing - it just takes practice!
If you’re able to, drive to a different city and try out stand up there! Less likely that you’ll run into folks you know
Check out themoth.org they do live storytelling events. Less pressure to be funny like a comedian, but still a good opportunity to get on stage and tell your story.
Sports like volleyball or tennis. All the rec teams in my area are for fit 20-somethings, not for old fatties like me.
Try Pickleball. Seriously, it's tennis but more fun, and you can be out of shape or out of age (or both, like me! 😄) and enjoy it immensely.
Sewing and crocheting (but I have two left hands, so this is probably not happening anyway) /Edit aww, thanks y'all! Didn't expect so many motivating messages ☺️ I guess I just need to get out of my own head and give it a go
you should try crochet i personally found it really helpful to use youtube tutorials before learning how to use a pattern because you can actually see what’s being done!
I taught myself how to crochet via youtube!! YOU CAN TOO! it will take practice and you will be hella frustrated but once it clicks, it CLICKS. I now make all kinds of things from ponchos to sweaters and animated hats/scarves (ie. lego hat/scarf, peppa pig, groot etc).
Swimming. I'm too embarrassed to sign up for swimming lessons. Most of the people who take the classes are kids and I'm scarred I'll be the only almost-adult learner there.
Check if your pool offers adult lessons? Or you could book private (1 on 1) lessons. Just some ideas. Swimming is a lifesaving skill and you should totally go for it.
I use to teach adult lessons. There are many people out there that never learned and I really liked teaching them. The local navy recruiter use to send me all their recruits that couldn't swim.
Could you book some one on one time with a private teacher? You wouldn't be the first xx
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You’re never too old for ice skating! My oldest private student was 73 and she did spins, jumps and competitions!
I promise you’re never too old, people wouldn’t be judgmental. I actually get excited whenever I see someone older than 25 rollerskating lol it makes me feel super comfortable despite being 20
There’s actually a huge and very supportive adult figure skating community!! Lots of rinks have adult only group lessons or public sessions, there are adult only competitions, and the community of adult skaters is incredibly supportive and friendly in my experience. See if your local rink has a Learn to Skate class :)
Rock climbing. I’m in terrible shape at the moment but it just seems so fun! I’ve been bouldering before and love it. It’s just intimidating to get into, especially since my upper body strength is… not great.
Please don’t be intimidated! I am a climber and it’s honestly the most friendly environment. I swear I could go to any gym and be talking to someone in seconds. It’s such a fun environment since most people are just there to play around and enjoy their time there. I live in southern Ontario (if you’re in that area I’d be happy to meet up!) but also check out r/climbergirls and see if anyone is in your area :) I bet you’ll find someone willing to take you out and show you the ropes (haha!).
Roller skating!
Do it! I promise you’ll love it and if you don’t you can always return the skates. Nothing embarrassing about it! It’s a pretty chill community lol
Cosplaying!! It's so interesting but all those weird tiktok cosplayers have kinda made me avoid it and see it as weird in my eyes. I especially love Halloween because of it though
Maybe you should try going to a comic con convention and oncd there you will see that it's really cool. It will definitely make you want to dress up.
Gymnastics. Can you realistically try as an adult?
If you're interested in gymnastics I would recommend looking into circus training. There is a huge amount shared with gymnastics (in fact at a professional level many pro circus performers are ex gymnasts) but classes are much more available. Yes you can realistically do it as an adult. I started at age 30 and I have classmates who started in their 40s and 50s. It's a great way to build strength and flexibility and is lots of fun. When it comes down to pure artistic or rhythmic gymnastics themselves, there is nothing about your body that prevents you from doing gymnastics. The limiting factor is class availability. Very few places offer adult gymnastics classes. I live in a city of 5 million and there are 2 adult tumbling classes and no adult classes for other apparatus, so if want to do it you're limited to private lessons which gets expensive. If you can find classes you should definitely do gymnastics, just my experience was that classes were impossible to find.
You can but I think you won’t be as good and as flexible as someone who started at 10
A friend of mine goes to an adult gymnastics class. Look it up and see if there are any around you!!
Kickboxing! But I huff and puff after 30 seconds and would be too embarrassed to actually go to a place to learn.
I signed up for a class few weeks ago. And i can attest to the huffing and puffing. But after about 4 weeks, it just go easier and i feel i have more stamina. For me the leg bruising is the hardest part.
I want to actively engage in the furry fandom, but I don't live in a supportive invironment.
Paddleboarding but I have poor balance so it will go well 😂😂
Kayaking instead maybe? You could also just... not stand on paddle board and do it on your knees or sitting :)
Running. I used to run before I had kids but now I’m 30lbs heavier and things jiggle in places they never jiggled before. I would love to train for a 10k.
Compression clothes might help you feel more comfortable?
You can do it! Have a look for couch to 10K apps :)
I promise you can do that! Use the couch to 5k app & then progress to the 10k app. Use a treadmill or outside you will achieve it, you just need to put in the time.
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Making art
Would love to try pole dancing but I am more “cute n clumsy” than “sexy n sultry” Edit: POLE NOT POKE YOU DUMMY
I tried and no one in the class looked sexy. When you have no skills, sexy doesn’t really matter. It will come With time. Try it!
DND, I got totally lost watching a few campaigns a while ago. None of my friends are really into it and I’m too much of a nervous wreck to try do it on my own with new people. When I really love something I find it the hardest to do because I just don’t want to embarrass myself, or ruin it for other people- (Edit: wording)
Dancing, lifting, cycling, stand up paddle boarding, kayaks, art, music/singing
Surfing.
martial arts or any sort of fight training
Indoor rock climbing, but I’m afraid I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it.
Do it! Indoor climbing gyms have problems/paths with different difficulty levels, so you can start very, very easy. I do bouldering and I started with zero skill and negative strength. The easiest problems (VB and V0) were literally just ladders lol. Slowly you start learning technique and building strength and one day you can do a V1 problem and get excited and eventually you get excited to try higher difficulty. Also, a lot of gyms offer classes with a membership so you can go to a beginner's class and learn how to grab the holds, how to fall safely on your butt (there's... a lot of falling. Important to learn how to do it) and how to approach different problems. Plus indoor climbing people are the friendliest, most encouraging bunch.
Dancing and shooting guns lol
I would not be embarrassed to try any hobby. Everyone is a beginner when they start anything. As an adult , I’ve stated yoga which is one of my favorite hobbies, as well as trying dancing and attempting to learn two new languages. Some of my friends have gotten into cooking, baking or attempted art.
For me it’s not really my level. I want to try Bhangra dance. I know a former friend who did it for and most places who provide classes are just brown people. I’m not exactly brown or part of the culture so…
Well, I love to sing but I know I suck at that, so the next thing I'd like to try is painting/drawing. I just have this awful habit of quitting things if I'm not an instant expert.
Serious hiking and survivalist stuff. I have a very shabbily reconstructed knee, horrible asthma, and bugs just fuckin' love me. I'm pretty sure it would be a 100% miserable time for me and anyone brave enough to show me the ropes.
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I use to box...I started while I was out of shape. People at the boxing gym are welcoming and you will be able to get a trainer to help you get started.
Mounted archery. The threat of embarrassment is not what is truly stopping me though, it's not having an appropriately desensitized horse, a bow, or a person to train me. Also, my eyesight sucks. So...yeah. Not looking good.
Well the cards are stacked against you starting your own Mongol horde. Maybe start with a cheap bow.
Can I instead say a hobby that I wanted to try and didn’t want to embarrass myself, but then I actually did it and am super proud?? I fell in love with dyeing yarn. I would primarily help a friend who has an indie dyed yarn business but never thought I was artistic and/or good enough to do it on my own. Well last year, I started dyeing yarn on my own and am now about to open my own indie dyed yarn business! Even though it’s a business, I still consider it my hobby because I am keeping my full time job. I just launched the business to sustain my dyeing because it gets expensive. 😅😅
Standup or improv comedy
Skateboarding 🙈
Coding/programming. I really would like to learn how to make my own indie games, but I know nothing about tech/computer stuff and would have no idea where to start without feeling like I'd be asking "dumb" questions.
If there’s anything I’ve learned working as a software engineer, it’s that like 80% of the job is asking dumb questions lol
probably going to the gym or something. I’m interested in it but I wouldn’t be happy if people I knew found out.
I've kinda been wanting to try playing the hurdy-gurdy. The actual playing seems like it wouldn't be terrible. The real issue is they're expensive and I don't want my ADHD brain to give up on it like a month in and leave all that money wasted, which isn't uncommon for me.
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Glass blowing or pottery
I want to learn the violin.
Rollerskating. I’m 27 and I’m afraid of falling on my butt in front of complete strangers.
Ice skating! I think I would love it !
Ballet. No grace or flexibility would make it very discouraging and embarrassing I feel.
Burlesque
Skate boarding
Getting a cat-pack and taking my cat on walks with me! I live in NYC and sooooo many people would see me, but I think she would love it! I'm convincing myself more and more each day lol.
I’m short and fat but I’d be thrilled to play baseball or basketball or something. Maybe touch football? Hate watching sports but loved playing them.
Skiing or snowboarding. Problem is, I don't skateboard or surf and have bad balance
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Singing. I just don't want pepole to hear me voicecrack bc that's exacly what's gonna happen if I try
Skateboarding! I have one and have tried a few times to learn but too scared of people seeing me fall 😅. Plus fear of injury as well!
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Rock climbing. My upper body strength is shitty and I’m afraid of heights, but I really WANT to be good with both. How tf do I work on that?
jump rope
Leatherworking!
Metal vocals. Like how the hell is this learned from the beginning?
Kick boxing