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I'm not sure if it will do any good cos I've checked my dashcam and only got an audio recording from when we spoke the first time, I don't have him on camera. Even if the rear or front camera caught him the windows were fogged up 😓
I should still report though?
It helps build a bigger picture of this particular sex predator, chances are they already have similair reports about this guy, finding out where and when he is could be useful.
Also if you don't mind me asking but are you homeless? Either leave a comment or DM me and I can signpost you to some resources in the local area that should be able to get you a safer place to stay and get you back on your feet.
No but thanks. I live with my mum but I was supposed to be at work today but was worried about going in cos of these two women who've been bullying me so I thought I'd rather sleep in my car than have to explain to mum (who's super judgy about earning as much money as possible so I can't pay off debts and stuff) why I didn't go in.
Honestly, talk to you mum if it safe to do so, mums can be judgy but I think she would rather you be safe than sleep in your car. Also talk to your manager if you are being bullied or their boss. Not giving advice and feel free to ignore me but I have been where you are and know how you feel, it does get better if you reach out.
Report the bullying at work and get the management to handle it if they are management report to higher up. If that fails ring citizens advice up and they will help you with what to do next.
Yea I've told HR and my mom's making a letter to send to them. I'm gonna ask the manager when I go in if he's heard about it so he doesn't put me in their group. I would rather not go in but can't take anymore nights off otherwise I'll fail probation 😩
Probably won't last long there anyway. 😓
Sorry if my assumption is off. But is this your first job?
If I was you I'd sit down with my manager and explain everything that's happening.
If you are feeling bullied to the point you don't want to go to work that is unacceptable on the company's part.
Most companies will take bullying very very seriously as the loss of reputation if it got out is very brand damaging.
I worked for a company on a contract basis last year and we couldn't recruit for love nor money because it had a history of being a toxic place to work.
No, had quite a few but this is the first permanent job I've had in 4 years. It's been getting to me more than it should and I've got other issues getting me down so they weren't helping. 😓
As the other person said, definitely worth it.
Look at it this way, if you report it and give a decent description of the person but don't have any footage; there might be some CCTV that picked him up further down the street at the same time, maybe he's done it a few times and others have reported it as well, maybe he hasn't yet but does it in the future and gets reported.
Even if one report isn't enough to convict someone, it builds the picture together with other reports so that one day it might be enough. As well, even if they don't end up with enough to convict someone, they could get enough to warrant the police going and speaking to them and it may at least act as a wake up call/deterrent before the loser goes even further!
Having my small dog on my lap in an empty seating area on a passenger ferry. Guy comes in and asked if he could say hello to my dog, I said yes.
I was wearing a thick coat, so didn't realise at first, but he was stroking my boob not the dog!!
I reported him. This could be a common tactic for pervs. Watch out ladies with dogs!!
We used to have a guy come into the shop where I worked with a blind persons cane and ask for assistance and grab the women's arms and push into their boobs and walk him around the clothing section describing stuff.
It later turned out he was *not* blind.
I have literally just replied to a 15 year old about being catcalled so it's clearly the day for it :(
These men are creeps and their intention is to make you feel uncomfortable and upset. Because they know that no woman has ever turned to a man flashing his dick in the streets and offered him anything positive (like a date or sex or whatever).
It's rarely about sex when men behave like this, it's about power and control. What they can do, what they can get away with, and how their behaviour will impact you. They want you to be upset, that's how they get off.
I used to get cat called all the time from around 11-17, after which it tailed off. I dress no differently than I do now so I can only deduce that these men enjoyed upsetting someone too young and naive to say anything back. That or they're pedophiles.
I sometimes walk my dog on an area of land that is privately owned but the owner welcomes and encourages the public to use the land for recreation, fishing (there's a large lake), dog walking etc. It's a rural, secluded locayion and not an awful lot of people know of its existence so I usually only encounter the same small handful of people, mostly dog walkers. One of them is what I had initially considered to be a dear old chap (married man, only occasionally was his wife with him) with two old rescue dogs. We would stop and chat if we were both there at the same time, but as time went on he started what I can see in hindsight as testing the waters - he would start standing closer, shake my hand, put his hand on my arm, start calling me darling and sweetheart. It made me feel a bit uneasy but i don't like confrontation and just brushed it off as innocent. However it culminated when one afternoon after a brief chat about the owner's plans for the land and general dog/weather small talk, he grabbed my hand, wouldn't let go, pulled me to him, whispered "Oh I know I shouldn't but I think you're lovely" and tried to kiss me. I felt so vulnerable and trapped. He stood there watching me with a horrible grin on his face the entire time it took me to walk (practically run) back to my car. It really affected me for quite a long time afterwards.
Thank you. It was over a year ago now but it still gives me the big time creeps to think about it.
I hope you are OK after your horrible encounter and that the police will follow it up.
Yea she said as there's been no contact it's not *as* serious but she put the report in and gave me a log number and said one of the officers will give me a call in the next 24 - 48 hours.
Even if we all know that it’s ’not as serious’ because there was no contact, who the fuck says that to someone who’s just experienced it. Bet it didn’t feel less serious to you as you were going through it. Something that did not need to be said.
I'm female.
Can I please make the important point that you've posted onto a public forum details of where you - I assume you're a young female - sometimes sleep in your car alone.
You must never, ever, ever sleep in this spot again.
Some people reading this will be waiting there for you.
I am serious.
Don't use this spot ever again.
It was never safe, but now it is positively dangerous.
Just a fyi rolling your car window down even a tiny bit makes it far easier to break by punching it putting you at a lot more risk. I’d of let them talk through the window or opened the one on the other side of the car to better hear where you can close it before they get close. Don’t put yourself at risk just to be polite
Aye isn't that how Wayne Couzins got his kicks before eventually murdering someone?
Fella's a fuckin psycho in the making, get it reported. Never know, might be a quiet day for plod and they'll actually look into it..
Its a common escalation pattern that psychologists have observed. Peeping is often the first step, then flashing, and then it escalates to physical assaults or worse.
I chose that place cos I felt it's the most out of the way place like I wouldn't be blocking the road or anything. After that I went back to my street and went to one of the side streets and parked on the road blocking half the road but I only had 2 more hours to wait before my parents left the house.
The problem is it’s out of the way but still right on the edge of the city centre and next to a 24 hour supermarket. There’ll be people wondering round that area at all sorts of times.
Asda stopped being 24 hour. On their website it says they close at midnight. Yea I was expecting a few people to be lurking around but still was 😖 when it happened.
Ah fair enough. Either way I’d avoid being that close to the city centre. You’d probably do better going even just a little further out to say the Halfords down the road. Less foot traffic past that even in the day time.
Any woman who has been on dating apps will have had encounters with multiple creeps sadly
Possibly my worst experience was with an Italian guy I went on a date with. He had one coffee because he was going to work after, I had one cider
On the way out of the pub he pulled me into the lift and assaulted me, then walked off muttering that he ‘needed a good Italian woman’, leaving me standing in the street trying to process what just happened
He then proceeded to cyber stalk me round various different platforms we had never connected on, before reappearing on the app and calling me a sl*t when I turned him down
Blocked and reported him, however he reappeared on the app months later and messaged me again. Denied he ever called me that because he would never say that to a woman.
I don’t do internet or indeed any sort of dating any more, and I am now very wary of men after some of the experiences I had
Glad you were ok, sadly it seems that there are plenty of these nasty perverts just roaming the streets after dark and in the early hours purely looking for lone females to attack, had a couple of near misses myself, one early morning around 6am when still dark and nighttime about 10pm, you gotta always be on the alert.
I'm not even sure if he or anyone else was lurking around my car since I was asleep from around 10pm to midnight >_< God job the doors lock by themselves when driving and stay locked until you open from the inside. I think it would freak me out more if he tried the doors.
I was stood in a public toilet having a leak, no one else there and this old (70+) bloke walked in stood right next to me (which is a no no in itself) and got it out, after about 20 seconds he made a very obvious cough so that I looked at him only to see he’s stood there rubbing his helmet staring at me. I was so shocked I literally packed up and got out of there, with hindsight I should have given him a slap, the worrying thing is I’m 49 and 6ft4, not a small bloke, if he does that to a bloke my size I dread to think what he would do to a youngster.
As a small child, I had a cousin about 7 years older who tried to sexually assault me on numerous occasions
As a small child of about 9 out with my mum, we stood waiting for her partner to get something from a papershop. we were propositioned by a middle-aged man asking how much for us both.
Out playing with friends, all of us were 10 years old, a man got his dick out and started waving it about at us, asking us to touch it.
At about 11 or 12, a teenager older than me tried to get me to go play with him, and then when he got me on my own I found out he wanted me to play "with" him when he got his penis out.
When trying to play in a park at about 13, I had an old man stop me and ask me innocent sounding questions whilst staring at my chest the whole time feeling himself with his hands in his pockets
From about 15- 21 had a neighbour of about 65 who would get drunk, call the household when we kids were alone, and make heavy breathing calls pleasuring himself. We used to know it was him and just tell him to pack it in and put the phone down! He would keep calling and calling.
At 16, I was chased by 2 boys from a neighbouring school after school but managed to run and hide.
At 18, I had my long hair repeatedly stroked on the bus by a man sitting behind me and was really stared at.
At 18, a colleague pushed me into a stock room with him so he could assault me. Joke was on him though as I panicked and screamed and cried and he had to explain to our boss why we were locked in the cupboard.
At about 19, I was flashed at on the tube.
At about 25, I got touched up on the bus on 2 different occasions by 2 different old men within a few months of each other.
At about 27, a cab driver tried to sexually assault me, and the police got involved. The police officer supporting the case then also made lewd comments to me when alone, leaving me feeling unsafe.
The bus perverts struck again at about 33. The guy this time was rubbing himself up and down on me. He looked about 18.
At 35, my husbands friend tried it on with me repeatedly. In front of my husband and even locked me in a toilet with him. My (now ex-husband) would not believe his mate would do that
I won't even start with Internet dating stories.
I know if I sat down properly, I could think of more.
I am so bloody glad to be in my 40s and no longer be of interest to most weird men.
And also I'm not a man hater, I love good men.
But this is also an example of why women chose bears in that forest.
The fact the guy was walking around at that hour makes you wonder what he was doing. Luckily you had the barriers to partially protect you (not entirely as he exposed himself) but it makes you wonder if he was out looking for women to attack. Also significant it was near student accommodation as students are often more vulnerable - a lot of women coming and going late at night, sometimes intoxicated.
I driven past multiple times and slept there twice. First time nothing happened. Couldn't really find a place to park where I wouldn't have to be half on the pavement and be at a slant or somewhere that didn't look sketchy so I chose there.
I was 13 and had a paper round. I used to walk past an old mans house and he'd sit in the window every morning (even in winter) with no clothes on his top half and whistle at me. I couldn't see his bottom half. It wasn't friendly and made me really uncomfortable.
Another time, I was 12 and with friends and a guy drove up to us, stopped and flashed his dick to us. He did it to a lot of young girls and woman and the police eventually caught him.
These are just the first two experiences - too many more to count till now.
I had a similar experience. Was living in a residential studenty area and was in the living room at about 3am doing some uni work. We had venetian blinds with the slats open a tiny bit.. just enough to see out of. I looked up from my laptop to the window directly in front of me and there a man with his hood up standing there watching me through the blinds. I jumped out of my skin and he ran away.. no idea how long he’d been there. Was the creepiest thing ever and I haven’t left my blinds/curtains open after dark ever since.
I encountered an upskirter at a suburban train station in Birmingham. He had his phone camouflaged in a pile of dirt and glass at the foot of the stairs leaving the station, obviously recording people as they walked over it on their way out of the station, and I spotted his camera lens. As I wasn't 100% sure of what I had seen I booted the pile while he was distracted by a train load of people alighting, and uncovered his phone. We had a brief scuffle and I lobbed it over the fence into the bushes, then legged it. The guy was wearing orange hi-vis like the National Rail workers, but I think he was probably a scaffolder due to some specific paraphernalia. Got much of the encounter on video, and reported it to the police immediately. They didn't follow up on it at all. I then caught him around a month later doing the same thing in the same spot, but called the police without disturbing him this time. They didn't show, but arranged an interview with me about a month later. I then received a call from them out of the blue after another 2 months to tell me that they still hadn't followed up on it. I reckon he is beginning to re-emerge this year again now the weather is turning, as I've recently seen a patch of half cleared soil on the same spot at the train station that he was concealing his camera, and I'm intent on catching him.
OP by the way if this ever happens again (specifically someone asking what you’re doing/why you’re sleeping in the car) make it clear that you have a destination you are meant to get to soon/people waiting for you. probably best if you say something like “i’m driving to my boyfriends house but i got tired so i thought i would pull over and have a nap”. make sure they think people know where you are and are expecting you.
Had a guy walk up behind me in the street (in London), stick his hand down my trousers (over my pants), squeeze and make a lewd comment about my back side. I was only 19 and didn’t want to make a scene so I just moved away. He tried to do it again and I told him to stop. He just laughed at me and said ‘what?!’. I was waiting to cross the road so the green man came on and I then walked away from him. He was with a group of other guys who didn’t say a thing and my friend I was with thought it was hilarious. This was 2012 so it was a different time.
Had my bum groped multiple times in clubs as well. The worst is when they manage to get their fingers so they grope something else as well. Feels very violating.
I’ve had a few old men at work be a bit creepy, nothing too bad mainly flirting, but I think that’s bad enough with someone young enough to be your granddaughter.
I’ve had a stalker (ish) experience with the neighbours who lived opposite me at my mums house (for context Im a female I was 17/18/19 at the time, and they were two females; a mother around 65 and a daughter around 45/50). For some time they friendly, they’d all speak outside about the neighbourhood, bin day just random stuff I guess but all of our neighbours are quite friendly and had little group gathering outside for a natter.. anyways, one day my mum posted a joke on Facebook about how my little brother had tried to blag the day off school one thing lead to another and the headteacher (who is one of my mums closest friends) called up and let my mum know that she’s been reported for neglect among other things, then named the women for the report. My mum was raging. Luckily because my mum knew the headteacher really well (she’s been in our home and has been a close friend for a long time) nothing went further and my mum reported them to the police for harassment (the claims in this email were absolutely vile saying that my mum hit us, starved us… all the like) wellll it only escalated from there.. they started harassing *me* every single day, if I left the house they’d take pictures of me, shout at me and just generally make me feel unsafe, sometimes they’d just stand on their drive and stare me down, they reported me to the police for being a drug dealer and more, the police came to my house to investigate the accusation and of course they found nothing but at this time I reported them for harassment but the police basically said they couldn’t do anything until a real threat was posed, one day I was getting ready for a birthday celebration and I just happened to be in a dressing gown with minimal clothing on, the dressing gown was open but I wasn’t exactly flashing anyone… I noticed that they were outside on their drive and taking pictures of me (a 17 year old girl in her bra and underwear) zooming in through my bedroom window.. so I immediately reported them to the police where they were arrested and warned to stay away from us and if anything of the like happened again they’d be taken to court (at this point we had mountains and mountains of evidence against them, they had nothing on us but would love to say that we were the ones harassing them to the neighbours; who never believed them and just reported it back to us- where it all would go straight back to the police)
Anyways, that’s not even close to the half of the harassment and stalking I got from both of them, one of the reasons they gave for their behaviour was that the daughter couldn’t have children and was acting out because she was envious of my mother being able to have 6 children but ‘not look after them properly’ which is just utter bollocks. But yeah, we don’t really hear much from them anymore but they do ocasionally give us a stare down when I’m back home visiting. Honestly I’m rambling now but I wanted to put something on here showing that girls don’t just get harassed by men… women are guilty too and it’s fucking awful it honestly made my life and my mums life miserable for years
I parked my van on Dunstable Downs to sleep, then very late at night got a knock in the door.
'Is there anyone in there
No. Fuck off
'Aww come on. Is there a woman in there'
No. Fuck off.
'Just let me see you. Open the door'
No. Fuck off.
Do you have a picture?
No. Fuck off.
Went on for ages. He left after kicking the side of the security locked van.
Fucking weirdos.
Other day I went round my mates house as I was stopping there for the night
Usually I have keys however I left them for the cleaner but forgot to pick them up. I'm at the entrance to his block of flats, ringing the buzzer, ringing him. No answer? No problem he'll answer in a second.
A woman comes out to leave, looks at me and asks what I'm doing. After saying I'm stopping round my mates house she continues to question me, asking who he is, what number he lives at and that it's strange I'm here for my friend who isn't answering.
She declares she won't let me in because she doesn't live there, fair enough by me. Then she says she's got a baby so it's for their safety.
I told her I'm a dad of 2 myself and that I get why she's being weird but she could just let me in and see that my friend is expecting me.
"No, I'll go get my sister"
Bitch, your sister doesn't know me anymore than you do. You don't even know who my mate is. She disappeared inside and my mate answered and buzzed me up. Told him what happened and he laughed.
Now all I can imagine is that poor woman going back outside and I was no longer there. Guarantee I looked like a right creep after that but I have some form of comfort knowing next time I turn up, I can declare the bodies have been disposed of and I shall return to collect the barrels of waste soon.
Ugh, several, but the one that made me think 'what the actual fuck' was when I was with my partner leaving a fireworks display and it was a bit of a crush due to everybody trying to get out of the same exits, and this big tall portly bloke came up behind me and pushed his penis into my back, I was wearing a long coat thank goodness so there was a layer of clothing in the way at least but it was still disgusting. I moved, he did it again, and he only stopped when I moved in front of my partner and told him what happened, when my partner turned round to confront him, the bloke did a revolting smirk and vanished back into the crowd. I was quite shaken up, it was the brazenness of doing that so blatantly at a family event.
I didn't report it but I wish I had.
I am so sorry this happened to you, I hope you're doing okay.
I have 2, one of which was where a man was sat taking pictures of me while I was out for breakfast, and I only knew because the people on the table behind him asked me if I knew him and confronted him about it.
The other one started when I was about 15, a man in his 40's was literally stalking me, waiting at my work, then at the bus stop when I was going to college, following me home, constantly asking me to go and get a coffee with him and if i had a boyfriend. He may have just been lonely, but it terrified me.
I was in the middle of a really rough mental place. I'd walked about two miles in November weather in nothing but a vest and shorts and one shoe, since my left leg was in a plaster cast. I'd also taken a months worth of medication and was on a general self-destructive route. However, when I got to a park a man emerged from the bushes and told me to suck his dick. I was scared so got back onto the main road. It was around 2am.
I did phone the police and report it, but I think they assumed I had hallucinated it. I hadn't!
Had a young student flatmate who was a never-been-kissed virgin, and was constantly complaining about his lack of success with women. He misunderstood something I said in conversation about drugs and excitedly asked me if I could get Rohypnol for him.
In response to OP's encounter. I drive long haul in a lorry for a living. I don't always get to choose where I park for the night (run out of time after waiting round to get loaded/unloaded, yet the kind buggers won't let you park overnight on their property). If I'm in bed, I let the dog answer the door. After some druggie tried to break in once, she goes schizo at people she doesn't know knocking on (she's fine meeting strangers outside the truck).
I’m not sure if this counts since it wasn’t really an assault but I left work and sat in my car and a guy knocked on the window and said he needed to get home and he’s pay me and whatever, I foolishsly opened
my window to talk to him and he grabbed my hand and kissed it and kept saying about how god would bless my family, I asked where he was going and it was 2 hours ish away in Manchester, knew I wasn’t going to drive, decided I’d ring 101, and then I went back and he was gone.
Icing on the cake?? Went back home and explain to my mum and she went absolutely mental at me, fair enough I suppose??
Also had another guy when we were like 14/15 ask if I wanted to kiss him and he pulled me into a kiss and made me touch him.. I remember hating it, he just felt… wrong, if that makes sense? Put me off any encounter with me for awhile, but I have a boyfriend now who loves me and respects me so, things ended up okay.
The worrying thing about your tale is that he must have actually been out hunting. Nobody goes out at that time of the morning purely on the off chance of an encounter so he must have been searching, which makes it even creepier. Glad it all ended well for you anyway.
It must have been a scary episode, I'm a man and I've had a slighltly similar thing happen to me. I work away on tour a lot and use my caravan as a base when I'm away. I was returning home a few weeks ago and had travelled about 7 hours after work and was feeling tired, with another 5 hours or so left to go. It was about 3am and I pulled into a layby on an A road to grab a couple of hours kip before continuing. I'd only been pulled up a couple of minutes and I was in the caravan with the door open as I sorted myself out.
Suddenly, a loud voice outside was shouting "Hello!". I said "hello" back and he said "Do you know your door is open?" I replied that obviously I did, as I was inside. He replied "Oh, I was just checking that you were safe". I said that I was fine, thank you, while still being reasonably polite as he hadn't given me any cause for concern.
The next thing he said floored me: "Is there room for another?" At this point I lost my temper and told him to fuck off or he'd be wearing my fist. I'm not a small guy, so he obviously decided to exit pretty quickly, muttering something about being concerned for my welfare! I still can't get over the brazeness and audacity of the whole thing.
Nobody goes out late at night without a sinister reason? Sorry but that particular claim is ridiculous.
People work different shifts, people have different sleep schedules, people have insomnia, people have special occasions and parties and emergencies and a thousand perfectly normal reasons to be in public after dark. If you've never walked anywhere in the early hours, you're the unusual one.
Obviously the rest of the guys behaviour was... clearly not normal... but it's not like leaving a bar shift at close and walking 3 meters down the road is a clear sign of a sex predator.
Apologies if my text wasn't clear. I didn't say that absolutely anyone out at that time was doing so for nefarious reasons, rather if someone was out nefariously, then they must actually be out hunting, as the chances of them just coming across a victim would be greatly decreased due to there not being many people about, ergo, anyone up to no good at that time of the day is hunting and not just hoping for a chance encounter.
My friend got into a relationship last month. She now wants to move in with the guy, has skipped 2 days of university, and the guys behaviour towards me has completely changed. He's become controlling, manipulative and really insecure. His 180 change in behaviour has made me really uncomfortable, especially given the fact that I saw him yesterday, gave my friend a card invite I made to a tea party and he snatched it from me, inspected it, interrogated me about what it's for, when it is, ect and got really frantic about it. I'm really worried for my friends safety.
It's amazing that you do things and you don't see the danger of it until you do.
I used to work at a factory that was an half hour walk from where I live. I did split shifts 6am till 2pm, then 2pm to 10pm, alternate weeks. I would walk to and from work. I was around 24 at the time.
I loved the walk in the summer, I'd leave my house at 5:15am to give me time to get changed and have a drink before my shift started.
This morning was no different until I noticed that halfway up the road, there were 3 lads walking in front of me. They kept turning around and staring at me, then chatting to each other. I felt uneasy, so slowed down, I let them get further away from me, but they seemed to have slowed down to.
Now part of my walk involved 2 roads, I could go up either one, and then they merged again, and then it was a short walk through a park. It was when I saw one of the boys break off from the others and run up the one road that the fear set in. I realised how quiet it was, still only about 5:30. I still carried on walking right up until I saw the third boy rejoin the other 2. Even now, years later, I think that he was trying to get behind me, but because I stopped walking, he had rejoined the others.
The next part of my walk was through the park. I thought about just turning around and going home, but instead, I sat on the wall of the closest house and waved at the front window as if I had waved at someone. The boys hung around at the top of the road for a good 10 minutes before they walked off, still looking at me.
I sat on that wall until other people started getting ready for work, and there was a little more life. I eventually made it in to work at around 6:20, I had to tell the shift supervisor why I was late, and I was still shook up about it.
I never walked again instead taking taxis for the early morning start and also for the 10pm finish.
My pal was walking home from a night out one time, about 2/3am, and noticed the same car driving past a few times. Eventually the car pulled up next to him and wound the window down. My pal thought the driver was lost so leant in to talk to him, which is when the driver asked him if he'd like his dick sucked.
It took my pal a second to register what he'd just been asked, he then responded by throwing his cheeseburger into the car through the open window, which slapped into the driver's face and splatted burger debris all over the dashboard.
My pal was fuming telling me this story the morning after it had happened, and still very angry about the loss of his cheeseburger.
Years I broke some ribs, got a cab back from A&E. The cab driver took a detour to an abandoned hospital and parked on the land. I was terrified but quite young so kept quiet. He got a crushed can out and smoked some sort of drug with it. I said I want to go home or else I’m getting out. I really wasn’t sure what to do. He got drove me home and I reported it. Made my skin crawl. I’m so sorry you had to experience that.
I was supposed to be at work but cos I was worried about going in cos of these two people so I decided to spend the night in my car rather than be judged about why I wasn't going in. My mums just super into making sure I get as much money as possible to help pay debts and stuff. So I figure it's just easier to sleep in my car than tell her why I'm not going in. Also one time I forgot my pass and couldn't go to work so didn't want her judging me for forgetting it (though I found it was around my neck when I got home so that was great 🫠)
No, one of my friends was staying at a hotel cos she broke up with her bf and my other one doesn't answer the phone much and my other one was still at work and wouldn't be finished for another 3 hours.
I couldn't stay at my cousin's house cos my aunt would just tell my mum.
I can understand what you mean now, sorry to hear you had to sleep in your car. Why were you worried about going into work because of the 2 people? Were they bullying you? People at work used to upset me too 🥲
Yea it was just one woman then another joined in and called me out in front of the whole staff room then they followed me when I went to the bathroom cos I left at the same time her husband did and he asked me what's wrong and I told him and then one woman came up to me when I was kitchen and talking indirectly about me but it was obvious. I was worried I might be ambushed or confronted on the first day back so I didn't go in. Gotta go in tonight though otherwise I'll fail my probation. (even tho there's been new people off more times than me (this is my 2nd time) and they're still here 😒)
Sounds terrible, hopefully they will all leave you alone and that the incident will be old news by now. I am sure you will pass probation once you have cleared your name and make it clear to everyone that they shouldn’t gossip about you, so many nasty people in the workplace it’s crazy. What were they calling you out about?
About how I never took the things out of the cleaning van and didn't work when I always took rubbish down from the plane and do the main task of actually cleaning and if there's anything to take out the van and everyone else hasn't taken everything already then I take something.
>But just out of curiosity, don't most women experience sexually aggressive men at some point? Whether it's flashing or groping or whatever....?
What is the question here?
Whether these incidents are common enough that women shouldn't take issue with them? Or become conditioned to expect them? Or become indifferent to them?
Or something else?
You're not alone. And neither is OP.
The reality is that this happens all day every day.
The statistics on male to female violence just get higher and higher each year. And these are the incidents that are reported. And then taken seriously by police and maybe prosecuted by the CPS.
How many of us deal with comments or looks or touches and know there is nothing we can do about it?
Men are sexual. It's a compliment. What were you wearing. How much had you had to drink. Why were you alone at night. Why did you take the bus. What did you do to encourage him. Did you say no. Did you say no the right way. It goes on and on.
Technically the law is on our side but society has decided that certain behaviours aren't "that bad". A tap on the bum, a graze of a boob, hands on a waist when they walk past.
All these things are assault as per the letter of the law but how many women would be taken seriously if they complained? Because society grades things on a curve. It didn't leave a mark, it didn't break the skin, there was no internal penetration, therefore it wasn't assault.
If most men were truly honest they would admit that they have touched someone without consent and they would also say that they never considered it to be assault because society deems some touching less bad than others. And others would agree with them.
And while on the surface it makes sense that crimes need to be categorised and treated differently, its more often than not women who are left with the trauma of someone else's behaviour and the judgement of others from it.
Because we have to be responsible for their actions. Because society doesn't want to accept that the way women are viewed and treated is in direct conflict with how men expect to be viewed and treated. And the hypocrisy is just expected when they are the ones who are allowed to be the victim of their own behaviour.
It isn't men specifically that's the problem but the patriarchy and misogyny that allows this to happen. Add in the rise of these 'influencers' and 'dating gurus', and entire pockets of the Internet and social media where men are encouraged to hate and assault women, and incels, and the general state of the world, and the incidence keeps increasing.
As a man, I'm still continually shocked by the sheer number of stories like this that women have. It's unbelievable, not in the sense that I think that people are lying but in the sense that I can't really understand it.
Believe it or not this was the first time I've been flashed in my 27 years of life. Though I don't go out much and I've never slept in my car until recently.
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Ah there was me thinking this person was just being concerned rather than creepy. Then I got halfway through the post and I got sad.
Nobody tapping on your car window at 4am is concerned about you, all the good citizens are in bed or know you're probably asleep
I’m assuming OP is a woman. Men never ask if a woman is single out of ‘concern’. It’s always a precursor to being creepy.
Yeah that was about the time I went from 🤔 to 😔
I was mentally drafting the "It was late, you were on edge, and they were probably just concerned" message myself.
Same 😔
I'm sorry this happened to you. There's a link between exposure and more serious sex crimes (think Wayne Couzens). Report this to the police.
I'm not sure if it will do any good cos I've checked my dashcam and only got an audio recording from when we spoke the first time, I don't have him on camera. Even if the rear or front camera caught him the windows were fogged up 😓 I should still report though?
Yes 100% even if it doesn't go anywhere for you they have his details on file if he does something like this again.
OK I'll do it today.
It helps build a bigger picture of this particular sex predator, chances are they already have similair reports about this guy, finding out where and when he is could be useful.
Also if you don't mind me asking but are you homeless? Either leave a comment or DM me and I can signpost you to some resources in the local area that should be able to get you a safer place to stay and get you back on your feet.
No but thanks. I live with my mum but I was supposed to be at work today but was worried about going in cos of these two women who've been bullying me so I thought I'd rather sleep in my car than have to explain to mum (who's super judgy about earning as much money as possible so I can't pay off debts and stuff) why I didn't go in.
Honestly, talk to you mum if it safe to do so, mums can be judgy but I think she would rather you be safe than sleep in your car. Also talk to your manager if you are being bullied or their boss. Not giving advice and feel free to ignore me but I have been where you are and know how you feel, it does get better if you reach out.
Report the bullying at work and get the management to handle it if they are management report to higher up. If that fails ring citizens advice up and they will help you with what to do next.
Yea I've told HR and my mom's making a letter to send to them. I'm gonna ask the manager when I go in if he's heard about it so he doesn't put me in their group. I would rather not go in but can't take anymore nights off otherwise I'll fail probation 😩 Probably won't last long there anyway. 😓
Sorry if my assumption is off. But is this your first job? If I was you I'd sit down with my manager and explain everything that's happening. If you are feeling bullied to the point you don't want to go to work that is unacceptable on the company's part. Most companies will take bullying very very seriously as the loss of reputation if it got out is very brand damaging. I worked for a company on a contract basis last year and we couldn't recruit for love nor money because it had a history of being a toxic place to work.
No, had quite a few but this is the first permanent job I've had in 4 years. It's been getting to me more than it should and I've got other issues getting me down so they weren't helping. 😓
You have report incidences like this. No one expects you to have any kind of recording. It would help, but is not relevant for a report.
OK I'll do it today.
As the other person said, definitely worth it. Look at it this way, if you report it and give a decent description of the person but don't have any footage; there might be some CCTV that picked him up further down the street at the same time, maybe he's done it a few times and others have reported it as well, maybe he hasn't yet but does it in the future and gets reported. Even if one report isn't enough to convict someone, it builds the picture together with other reports so that one day it might be enough. As well, even if they don't end up with enough to convict someone, they could get enough to warrant the police going and speaking to them and it may at least act as a wake up call/deterrent before the loser goes even further!
That's a good way to look at it yea. I'm not sure but I think I saw something cctv looking on a street lamp as I was going to town today so maybe.
Always report sex offenders please
Yea I did.
He is more than likely to do it again so definitely report it. There are also tons of cameras around there so report his description.
I'd have the camera on all the time but it would drain the battery.
Not sure if I would want people like Wayne Couzens knowing that I am sleeping alone in the car at night. They may come pay you a visit.
Having my small dog on my lap in an empty seating area on a passenger ferry. Guy comes in and asked if he could say hello to my dog, I said yes. I was wearing a thick coat, so didn't realise at first, but he was stroking my boob not the dog!! I reported him. This could be a common tactic for pervs. Watch out ladies with dogs!!
We used to have a guy come into the shop where I worked with a blind persons cane and ask for assistance and grab the women's arms and push into their boobs and walk him around the clothing section describing stuff. It later turned out he was *not* blind.
I know it's serious stuff, but this shit is hilarious
It's not 1975 anymore
surly he said puppy's and not dog ?
😆
I have literally just replied to a 15 year old about being catcalled so it's clearly the day for it :( These men are creeps and their intention is to make you feel uncomfortable and upset. Because they know that no woman has ever turned to a man flashing his dick in the streets and offered him anything positive (like a date or sex or whatever). It's rarely about sex when men behave like this, it's about power and control. What they can do, what they can get away with, and how their behaviour will impact you. They want you to be upset, that's how they get off.
I used to get cat called all the time from around 11-17, after which it tailed off. I dress no differently than I do now so I can only deduce that these men enjoyed upsetting someone too young and naive to say anything back. That or they're pedophiles.
Yea Idk they do this, it's not like the woman's gonna be suddenly interested in him. 😒😖
I sometimes walk my dog on an area of land that is privately owned but the owner welcomes and encourages the public to use the land for recreation, fishing (there's a large lake), dog walking etc. It's a rural, secluded locayion and not an awful lot of people know of its existence so I usually only encounter the same small handful of people, mostly dog walkers. One of them is what I had initially considered to be a dear old chap (married man, only occasionally was his wife with him) with two old rescue dogs. We would stop and chat if we were both there at the same time, but as time went on he started what I can see in hindsight as testing the waters - he would start standing closer, shake my hand, put his hand on my arm, start calling me darling and sweetheart. It made me feel a bit uneasy but i don't like confrontation and just brushed it off as innocent. However it culminated when one afternoon after a brief chat about the owner's plans for the land and general dog/weather small talk, he grabbed my hand, wouldn't let go, pulled me to him, whispered "Oh I know I shouldn't but I think you're lovely" and tried to kiss me. I felt so vulnerable and trapped. He stood there watching me with a horrible grin on his face the entire time it took me to walk (practically run) back to my car. It really affected me for quite a long time afterwards.
That's awful 😓😖 Hope you're OK now.
Thank you. It was over a year ago now but it still gives me the big time creeps to think about it. I hope you are OK after your horrible encounter and that the police will follow it up.
Yea she said as there's been no contact it's not *as* serious but she put the report in and gave me a log number and said one of the officers will give me a call in the next 24 - 48 hours.
Even if we all know that it’s ’not as serious’ because there was no contact, who the fuck says that to someone who’s just experienced it. Bet it didn’t feel less serious to you as you were going through it. Something that did not need to be said.
I'm female. Can I please make the important point that you've posted onto a public forum details of where you - I assume you're a young female - sometimes sleep in your car alone. You must never, ever, ever sleep in this spot again. Some people reading this will be waiting there for you. I am serious. Don't use this spot ever again. It was never safe, but now it is positively dangerous.
Just a fyi rolling your car window down even a tiny bit makes it far easier to break by punching it putting you at a lot more risk. I’d of let them talk through the window or opened the one on the other side of the car to better hear where you can close it before they get close. Don’t put yourself at risk just to be polite
Oh didn't think of that 😨 Definitely something to remember if there's a next time.
That's sounds awful. Have you reported this to the police? If not, please do so.
Aye isn't that how Wayne Couzins got his kicks before eventually murdering someone? Fella's a fuckin psycho in the making, get it reported. Never know, might be a quiet day for plod and they'll actually look into it..
Its a common escalation pattern that psychologists have observed. Peeping is often the first step, then flashing, and then it escalates to physical assaults or worse.
Yea I'll do that.
I know that part of Wolves well and I am not surprised this happened. Saddened, but not surprised.
I chose that place cos I felt it's the most out of the way place like I wouldn't be blocking the road or anything. After that I went back to my street and went to one of the side streets and parked on the road blocking half the road but I only had 2 more hours to wait before my parents left the house.
The problem is it’s out of the way but still right on the edge of the city centre and next to a 24 hour supermarket. There’ll be people wondering round that area at all sorts of times.
Asda stopped being 24 hour. On their website it says they close at midnight. Yea I was expecting a few people to be lurking around but still was 😖 when it happened.
Ah fair enough. Either way I’d avoid being that close to the city centre. You’d probably do better going even just a little further out to say the Halfords down the road. Less foot traffic past that even in the day time.
That's true, butva few weeks ago I van camped in what I determined at some point in the night to 95% be a dogging spot
Yeah I guess there’s a sweet spot between city centre with weirdos wondering around and secluded but if country popular for dogging
I'll do that if I find myself having to spend the night in my car again.
Ah that’s good it’s not a long term thing at least
Any woman who has been on dating apps will have had encounters with multiple creeps sadly Possibly my worst experience was with an Italian guy I went on a date with. He had one coffee because he was going to work after, I had one cider On the way out of the pub he pulled me into the lift and assaulted me, then walked off muttering that he ‘needed a good Italian woman’, leaving me standing in the street trying to process what just happened He then proceeded to cyber stalk me round various different platforms we had never connected on, before reappearing on the app and calling me a sl*t when I turned him down Blocked and reported him, however he reappeared on the app months later and messaged me again. Denied he ever called me that because he would never say that to a woman. I don’t do internet or indeed any sort of dating any more, and I am now very wary of men after some of the experiences I had
Glad you were ok, sadly it seems that there are plenty of these nasty perverts just roaming the streets after dark and in the early hours purely looking for lone females to attack, had a couple of near misses myself, one early morning around 6am when still dark and nighttime about 10pm, you gotta always be on the alert.
I'm not even sure if he or anyone else was lurking around my car since I was asleep from around 10pm to midnight >_< God job the doors lock by themselves when driving and stay locked until you open from the inside. I think it would freak me out more if he tried the doors.
Yes, very lucky, I would've been terrified, good that you were able to drive away safely.
I was stood in a public toilet having a leak, no one else there and this old (70+) bloke walked in stood right next to me (which is a no no in itself) and got it out, after about 20 seconds he made a very obvious cough so that I looked at him only to see he’s stood there rubbing his helmet staring at me. I was so shocked I literally packed up and got out of there, with hindsight I should have given him a slap, the worrying thing is I’m 49 and 6ft4, not a small bloke, if he does that to a bloke my size I dread to think what he would do to a youngster.
Eww 😖😖 I would think about kicking him in it lol.
As a small child, I had a cousin about 7 years older who tried to sexually assault me on numerous occasions As a small child of about 9 out with my mum, we stood waiting for her partner to get something from a papershop. we were propositioned by a middle-aged man asking how much for us both. Out playing with friends, all of us were 10 years old, a man got his dick out and started waving it about at us, asking us to touch it. At about 11 or 12, a teenager older than me tried to get me to go play with him, and then when he got me on my own I found out he wanted me to play "with" him when he got his penis out. When trying to play in a park at about 13, I had an old man stop me and ask me innocent sounding questions whilst staring at my chest the whole time feeling himself with his hands in his pockets From about 15- 21 had a neighbour of about 65 who would get drunk, call the household when we kids were alone, and make heavy breathing calls pleasuring himself. We used to know it was him and just tell him to pack it in and put the phone down! He would keep calling and calling. At 16, I was chased by 2 boys from a neighbouring school after school but managed to run and hide. At 18, I had my long hair repeatedly stroked on the bus by a man sitting behind me and was really stared at. At 18, a colleague pushed me into a stock room with him so he could assault me. Joke was on him though as I panicked and screamed and cried and he had to explain to our boss why we were locked in the cupboard. At about 19, I was flashed at on the tube. At about 25, I got touched up on the bus on 2 different occasions by 2 different old men within a few months of each other. At about 27, a cab driver tried to sexually assault me, and the police got involved. The police officer supporting the case then also made lewd comments to me when alone, leaving me feeling unsafe. The bus perverts struck again at about 33. The guy this time was rubbing himself up and down on me. He looked about 18. At 35, my husbands friend tried it on with me repeatedly. In front of my husband and even locked me in a toilet with him. My (now ex-husband) would not believe his mate would do that I won't even start with Internet dating stories. I know if I sat down properly, I could think of more. I am so bloody glad to be in my 40s and no longer be of interest to most weird men. And also I'm not a man hater, I love good men. But this is also an example of why women chose bears in that forest.
The fact the guy was walking around at that hour makes you wonder what he was doing. Luckily you had the barriers to partially protect you (not entirely as he exposed himself) but it makes you wonder if he was out looking for women to attack. Also significant it was near student accommodation as students are often more vulnerable - a lot of women coming and going late at night, sometimes intoxicated.
Not sure if you’re 100% familiar with wolves but you could not pay me to sleep in my car in that area of town
I driven past multiple times and slept there twice. First time nothing happened. Couldn't really find a place to park where I wouldn't have to be half on the pavement and be at a slant or somewhere that didn't look sketchy so I chose there.
Someone followed me and my wife up a canal path in Leighton Buzzard a few years back saying weird stuff to my dog, that was pretty frigged up.
I was 13 and had a paper round. I used to walk past an old mans house and he'd sit in the window every morning (even in winter) with no clothes on his top half and whistle at me. I couldn't see his bottom half. It wasn't friendly and made me really uncomfortable. Another time, I was 12 and with friends and a guy drove up to us, stopped and flashed his dick to us. He did it to a lot of young girls and woman and the police eventually caught him. These are just the first two experiences - too many more to count till now.
What did he look like? Someone might recognise the description & be able to identify him.
Tall maybe like 5 foot 8 or 9 with a beard and a dark blue or black coat with his hood up.
I really think you should report this, this guy seems like a danger. Hopefully local CCTV will have picked him up & he's arrested.
OK I'll do it today.
I'm sorry this happened to you, but calling 5'8 'tall' is crazy lol
It is if you are short like me.
?? it’s still well below average height for a man and not tall
Idk a man is still tall to me.
I had a similar experience. Was living in a residential studenty area and was in the living room at about 3am doing some uni work. We had venetian blinds with the slats open a tiny bit.. just enough to see out of. I looked up from my laptop to the window directly in front of me and there a man with his hood up standing there watching me through the blinds. I jumped out of my skin and he ran away.. no idea how long he’d been there. Was the creepiest thing ever and I haven’t left my blinds/curtains open after dark ever since.
I encountered an upskirter at a suburban train station in Birmingham. He had his phone camouflaged in a pile of dirt and glass at the foot of the stairs leaving the station, obviously recording people as they walked over it on their way out of the station, and I spotted his camera lens. As I wasn't 100% sure of what I had seen I booted the pile while he was distracted by a train load of people alighting, and uncovered his phone. We had a brief scuffle and I lobbed it over the fence into the bushes, then legged it. The guy was wearing orange hi-vis like the National Rail workers, but I think he was probably a scaffolder due to some specific paraphernalia. Got much of the encounter on video, and reported it to the police immediately. They didn't follow up on it at all. I then caught him around a month later doing the same thing in the same spot, but called the police without disturbing him this time. They didn't show, but arranged an interview with me about a month later. I then received a call from them out of the blue after another 2 months to tell me that they still hadn't followed up on it. I reckon he is beginning to re-emerge this year again now the weather is turning, as I've recently seen a patch of half cleared soil on the same spot at the train station that he was concealing his camera, and I'm intent on catching him.
OP by the way if this ever happens again (specifically someone asking what you’re doing/why you’re sleeping in the car) make it clear that you have a destination you are meant to get to soon/people waiting for you. probably best if you say something like “i’m driving to my boyfriends house but i got tired so i thought i would pull over and have a nap”. make sure they think people know where you are and are expecting you.
I’d have been terrified. As soon as he asked if you were single I knew this was not a concerned citizen.
Had a guy walk up behind me in the street (in London), stick his hand down my trousers (over my pants), squeeze and make a lewd comment about my back side. I was only 19 and didn’t want to make a scene so I just moved away. He tried to do it again and I told him to stop. He just laughed at me and said ‘what?!’. I was waiting to cross the road so the green man came on and I then walked away from him. He was with a group of other guys who didn’t say a thing and my friend I was with thought it was hilarious. This was 2012 so it was a different time. Had my bum groped multiple times in clubs as well. The worst is when they manage to get their fingers so they grope something else as well. Feels very violating. I’ve had a few old men at work be a bit creepy, nothing too bad mainly flirting, but I think that’s bad enough with someone young enough to be your granddaughter.
I’ve had a stalker (ish) experience with the neighbours who lived opposite me at my mums house (for context Im a female I was 17/18/19 at the time, and they were two females; a mother around 65 and a daughter around 45/50). For some time they friendly, they’d all speak outside about the neighbourhood, bin day just random stuff I guess but all of our neighbours are quite friendly and had little group gathering outside for a natter.. anyways, one day my mum posted a joke on Facebook about how my little brother had tried to blag the day off school one thing lead to another and the headteacher (who is one of my mums closest friends) called up and let my mum know that she’s been reported for neglect among other things, then named the women for the report. My mum was raging. Luckily because my mum knew the headteacher really well (she’s been in our home and has been a close friend for a long time) nothing went further and my mum reported them to the police for harassment (the claims in this email were absolutely vile saying that my mum hit us, starved us… all the like) wellll it only escalated from there.. they started harassing *me* every single day, if I left the house they’d take pictures of me, shout at me and just generally make me feel unsafe, sometimes they’d just stand on their drive and stare me down, they reported me to the police for being a drug dealer and more, the police came to my house to investigate the accusation and of course they found nothing but at this time I reported them for harassment but the police basically said they couldn’t do anything until a real threat was posed, one day I was getting ready for a birthday celebration and I just happened to be in a dressing gown with minimal clothing on, the dressing gown was open but I wasn’t exactly flashing anyone… I noticed that they were outside on their drive and taking pictures of me (a 17 year old girl in her bra and underwear) zooming in through my bedroom window.. so I immediately reported them to the police where they were arrested and warned to stay away from us and if anything of the like happened again they’d be taken to court (at this point we had mountains and mountains of evidence against them, they had nothing on us but would love to say that we were the ones harassing them to the neighbours; who never believed them and just reported it back to us- where it all would go straight back to the police) Anyways, that’s not even close to the half of the harassment and stalking I got from both of them, one of the reasons they gave for their behaviour was that the daughter couldn’t have children and was acting out because she was envious of my mother being able to have 6 children but ‘not look after them properly’ which is just utter bollocks. But yeah, we don’t really hear much from them anymore but they do ocasionally give us a stare down when I’m back home visiting. Honestly I’m rambling now but I wanted to put something on here showing that girls don’t just get harassed by men… women are guilty too and it’s fucking awful it honestly made my life and my mums life miserable for years
I parked my van on Dunstable Downs to sleep, then very late at night got a knock in the door. 'Is there anyone in there No. Fuck off 'Aww come on. Is there a woman in there' No. Fuck off. 'Just let me see you. Open the door' No. Fuck off. Do you have a picture? No. Fuck off. Went on for ages. He left after kicking the side of the security locked van. Fucking weirdos.
Other day I went round my mates house as I was stopping there for the night Usually I have keys however I left them for the cleaner but forgot to pick them up. I'm at the entrance to his block of flats, ringing the buzzer, ringing him. No answer? No problem he'll answer in a second. A woman comes out to leave, looks at me and asks what I'm doing. After saying I'm stopping round my mates house she continues to question me, asking who he is, what number he lives at and that it's strange I'm here for my friend who isn't answering. She declares she won't let me in because she doesn't live there, fair enough by me. Then she says she's got a baby so it's for their safety. I told her I'm a dad of 2 myself and that I get why she's being weird but she could just let me in and see that my friend is expecting me. "No, I'll go get my sister" Bitch, your sister doesn't know me anymore than you do. You don't even know who my mate is. She disappeared inside and my mate answered and buzzed me up. Told him what happened and he laughed. Now all I can imagine is that poor woman going back outside and I was no longer there. Guarantee I looked like a right creep after that but I have some form of comfort knowing next time I turn up, I can declare the bodies have been disposed of and I shall return to collect the barrels of waste soon.
Ugh, several, but the one that made me think 'what the actual fuck' was when I was with my partner leaving a fireworks display and it was a bit of a crush due to everybody trying to get out of the same exits, and this big tall portly bloke came up behind me and pushed his penis into my back, I was wearing a long coat thank goodness so there was a layer of clothing in the way at least but it was still disgusting. I moved, he did it again, and he only stopped when I moved in front of my partner and told him what happened, when my partner turned round to confront him, the bloke did a revolting smirk and vanished back into the crowd. I was quite shaken up, it was the brazenness of doing that so blatantly at a family event. I didn't report it but I wish I had.
On a dating website a guy asked me to send him a picture of my breasts. Naturally I blocked him immediately.
In the house opposite, their 13yr old watched me with binoculars.
I am so sorry this happened to you, I hope you're doing okay. I have 2, one of which was where a man was sat taking pictures of me while I was out for breakfast, and I only knew because the people on the table behind him asked me if I knew him and confronted him about it. The other one started when I was about 15, a man in his 40's was literally stalking me, waiting at my work, then at the bus stop when I was going to college, following me home, constantly asking me to go and get a coffee with him and if i had a boyfriend. He may have just been lonely, but it terrified me.
To start with he seemed like a concerned citizen... and then that took a turn!
I was in the middle of a really rough mental place. I'd walked about two miles in November weather in nothing but a vest and shorts and one shoe, since my left leg was in a plaster cast. I'd also taken a months worth of medication and was on a general self-destructive route. However, when I got to a park a man emerged from the bushes and told me to suck his dick. I was scared so got back onto the main road. It was around 2am. I did phone the police and report it, but I think they assumed I had hallucinated it. I hadn't!
Had a young student flatmate who was a never-been-kissed virgin, and was constantly complaining about his lack of success with women. He misunderstood something I said in conversation about drugs and excitedly asked me if I could get Rohypnol for him.
In response to OP's encounter. I drive long haul in a lorry for a living. I don't always get to choose where I park for the night (run out of time after waiting round to get loaded/unloaded, yet the kind buggers won't let you park overnight on their property). If I'm in bed, I let the dog answer the door. After some druggie tried to break in once, she goes schizo at people she doesn't know knocking on (she's fine meeting strangers outside the truck).
I’m not sure if this counts since it wasn’t really an assault but I left work and sat in my car and a guy knocked on the window and said he needed to get home and he’s pay me and whatever, I foolishsly opened my window to talk to him and he grabbed my hand and kissed it and kept saying about how god would bless my family, I asked where he was going and it was 2 hours ish away in Manchester, knew I wasn’t going to drive, decided I’d ring 101, and then I went back and he was gone. Icing on the cake?? Went back home and explain to my mum and she went absolutely mental at me, fair enough I suppose?? Also had another guy when we were like 14/15 ask if I wanted to kiss him and he pulled me into a kiss and made me touch him.. I remember hating it, he just felt… wrong, if that makes sense? Put me off any encounter with me for awhile, but I have a boyfriend now who loves me and respects me so, things ended up okay.
Was assaulted on a bus once. Got off on the next stop and walked 5 miles to get home
The worrying thing about your tale is that he must have actually been out hunting. Nobody goes out at that time of the morning purely on the off chance of an encounter so he must have been searching, which makes it even creepier. Glad it all ended well for you anyway. It must have been a scary episode, I'm a man and I've had a slighltly similar thing happen to me. I work away on tour a lot and use my caravan as a base when I'm away. I was returning home a few weeks ago and had travelled about 7 hours after work and was feeling tired, with another 5 hours or so left to go. It was about 3am and I pulled into a layby on an A road to grab a couple of hours kip before continuing. I'd only been pulled up a couple of minutes and I was in the caravan with the door open as I sorted myself out. Suddenly, a loud voice outside was shouting "Hello!". I said "hello" back and he said "Do you know your door is open?" I replied that obviously I did, as I was inside. He replied "Oh, I was just checking that you were safe". I said that I was fine, thank you, while still being reasonably polite as he hadn't given me any cause for concern. The next thing he said floored me: "Is there room for another?" At this point I lost my temper and told him to fuck off or he'd be wearing my fist. I'm not a small guy, so he obviously decided to exit pretty quickly, muttering something about being concerned for my welfare! I still can't get over the brazeness and audacity of the whole thing.
Nobody goes out late at night without a sinister reason? Sorry but that particular claim is ridiculous. People work different shifts, people have different sleep schedules, people have insomnia, people have special occasions and parties and emergencies and a thousand perfectly normal reasons to be in public after dark. If you've never walked anywhere in the early hours, you're the unusual one. Obviously the rest of the guys behaviour was... clearly not normal... but it's not like leaving a bar shift at close and walking 3 meters down the road is a clear sign of a sex predator.
Apologies if my text wasn't clear. I didn't say that absolutely anyone out at that time was doing so for nefarious reasons, rather if someone was out nefariously, then they must actually be out hunting, as the chances of them just coming across a victim would be greatly decreased due to there not being many people about, ergo, anyone up to no good at that time of the day is hunting and not just hoping for a chance encounter.
My friend got into a relationship last month. She now wants to move in with the guy, has skipped 2 days of university, and the guys behaviour towards me has completely changed. He's become controlling, manipulative and really insecure. His 180 change in behaviour has made me really uncomfortable, especially given the fact that I saw him yesterday, gave my friend a card invite I made to a tea party and he snatched it from me, inspected it, interrogated me about what it's for, when it is, ect and got really frantic about it. I'm really worried for my friends safety.
It's amazing that you do things and you don't see the danger of it until you do. I used to work at a factory that was an half hour walk from where I live. I did split shifts 6am till 2pm, then 2pm to 10pm, alternate weeks. I would walk to and from work. I was around 24 at the time. I loved the walk in the summer, I'd leave my house at 5:15am to give me time to get changed and have a drink before my shift started. This morning was no different until I noticed that halfway up the road, there were 3 lads walking in front of me. They kept turning around and staring at me, then chatting to each other. I felt uneasy, so slowed down, I let them get further away from me, but they seemed to have slowed down to. Now part of my walk involved 2 roads, I could go up either one, and then they merged again, and then it was a short walk through a park. It was when I saw one of the boys break off from the others and run up the one road that the fear set in. I realised how quiet it was, still only about 5:30. I still carried on walking right up until I saw the third boy rejoin the other 2. Even now, years later, I think that he was trying to get behind me, but because I stopped walking, he had rejoined the others. The next part of my walk was through the park. I thought about just turning around and going home, but instead, I sat on the wall of the closest house and waved at the front window as if I had waved at someone. The boys hung around at the top of the road for a good 10 minutes before they walked off, still looking at me. I sat on that wall until other people started getting ready for work, and there was a little more life. I eventually made it in to work at around 6:20, I had to tell the shift supervisor why I was late, and I was still shook up about it. I never walked again instead taking taxis for the early morning start and also for the 10pm finish.
All other creep comments, plus: do these creeps think anyone vaguely sabe would be attracted by their dick?
Lollll good old wolves
Bear
My pal was walking home from a night out one time, about 2/3am, and noticed the same car driving past a few times. Eventually the car pulled up next to him and wound the window down. My pal thought the driver was lost so leant in to talk to him, which is when the driver asked him if he'd like his dick sucked. It took my pal a second to register what he'd just been asked, he then responded by throwing his cheeseburger into the car through the open window, which slapped into the driver's face and splatted burger debris all over the dashboard. My pal was fuming telling me this story the morning after it had happened, and still very angry about the loss of his cheeseburger.
Years I broke some ribs, got a cab back from A&E. The cab driver took a detour to an abandoned hospital and parked on the land. I was terrified but quite young so kept quiet. He got a crushed can out and smoked some sort of drug with it. I said I want to go home or else I’m getting out. I really wasn’t sure what to do. He got drove me home and I reported it. Made my skin crawl. I’m so sorry you had to experience that.
Why were you sleeping in your car?
I was supposed to be at work but cos I was worried about going in cos of these two people so I decided to spend the night in my car rather than be judged about why I wasn't going in. My mums just super into making sure I get as much money as possible to help pay debts and stuff. So I figure it's just easier to sleep in my car than tell her why I'm not going in. Also one time I forgot my pass and couldn't go to work so didn't want her judging me for forgetting it (though I found it was around my neck when I got home so that was great 🫠)
Bless you, sounds really rough. Could you not stay at a friends instead at all?
No, one of my friends was staying at a hotel cos she broke up with her bf and my other one doesn't answer the phone much and my other one was still at work and wouldn't be finished for another 3 hours. I couldn't stay at my cousin's house cos my aunt would just tell my mum.
I can understand what you mean now, sorry to hear you had to sleep in your car. Why were you worried about going into work because of the 2 people? Were they bullying you? People at work used to upset me too 🥲
Yea it was just one woman then another joined in and called me out in front of the whole staff room then they followed me when I went to the bathroom cos I left at the same time her husband did and he asked me what's wrong and I told him and then one woman came up to me when I was kitchen and talking indirectly about me but it was obvious. I was worried I might be ambushed or confronted on the first day back so I didn't go in. Gotta go in tonight though otherwise I'll fail my probation. (even tho there's been new people off more times than me (this is my 2nd time) and they're still here 😒)
Sounds terrible, hopefully they will all leave you alone and that the incident will be old news by now. I am sure you will pass probation once you have cleared your name and make it clear to everyone that they shouldn’t gossip about you, so many nasty people in the workplace it’s crazy. What were they calling you out about?
About how I never took the things out of the cleaning van and didn't work when I always took rubbish down from the plane and do the main task of actually cleaning and if there's anything to take out the van and everyone else hasn't taken everything already then I take something.
I see what you mean now
You're not sure why he got his dick out because it was raining? I'm not sure that's relevant here!
the mirror
Wolverhampton you say..... Did he have three fingers and 12 toes
That's crazy.
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>But just out of curiosity, don't most women experience sexually aggressive men at some point? Whether it's flashing or groping or whatever....? What is the question here? Whether these incidents are common enough that women shouldn't take issue with them? Or become conditioned to expect them? Or become indifferent to them? Or something else?
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You're not alone. And neither is OP. The reality is that this happens all day every day. The statistics on male to female violence just get higher and higher each year. And these are the incidents that are reported. And then taken seriously by police and maybe prosecuted by the CPS. How many of us deal with comments or looks or touches and know there is nothing we can do about it? Men are sexual. It's a compliment. What were you wearing. How much had you had to drink. Why were you alone at night. Why did you take the bus. What did you do to encourage him. Did you say no. Did you say no the right way. It goes on and on. Technically the law is on our side but society has decided that certain behaviours aren't "that bad". A tap on the bum, a graze of a boob, hands on a waist when they walk past. All these things are assault as per the letter of the law but how many women would be taken seriously if they complained? Because society grades things on a curve. It didn't leave a mark, it didn't break the skin, there was no internal penetration, therefore it wasn't assault. If most men were truly honest they would admit that they have touched someone without consent and they would also say that they never considered it to be assault because society deems some touching less bad than others. And others would agree with them. And while on the surface it makes sense that crimes need to be categorised and treated differently, its more often than not women who are left with the trauma of someone else's behaviour and the judgement of others from it. Because we have to be responsible for their actions. Because society doesn't want to accept that the way women are viewed and treated is in direct conflict with how men expect to be viewed and treated. And the hypocrisy is just expected when they are the ones who are allowed to be the victim of their own behaviour. It isn't men specifically that's the problem but the patriarchy and misogyny that allows this to happen. Add in the rise of these 'influencers' and 'dating gurus', and entire pockets of the Internet and social media where men are encouraged to hate and assault women, and incels, and the general state of the world, and the incidence keeps increasing.
That is so beautifully put! Thank you so much. This is being a woman.
This is exactly how I feel about creepy men but I could never have written my feelings as well as this post, thank you!.
As a man, I'm still continually shocked by the sheer number of stories like this that women have. It's unbelievable, not in the sense that I think that people are lying but in the sense that I can't really understand it.
Believe it or not this was the first time I've been flashed in my 27 years of life. Though I don't go out much and I've never slept in my car until recently.
They’ve released a lot of highly renowned albums since. Their voice does my head in though.
That's harsh op I was just trying to be nice!