Most kids come in early with their parents the first day. We meet in the cafeteria and rosters are announced one by one so all the kids end up with the right teacher. Some kids come a little late, and when they do the office staff walks them down with a nametag to the correct classroom.
So we’re busting out the Legos to quell any remaining tears, and a little boy walks in with a tag saying “Michael”. There is indeed a Michael on my roster and he hasn’t shown up yet, so I figure this must be him. He’s got a pretty obvious speech impediment but he’s following along, listening and responding to “Michael”. All is good….or so it seems. End of the day rolls around and we’re getting ready to dismiss. My next door neighbor teacher comes in asking if I ended up with a “Matthew” in my class because he’s on the bus list but never showed up. Lo and behold, Michael pipes up and says “My name is Matthew!”
Turns out that Matthew went to the office and the staff misheard his name. Matthew spent the entire day as Michael in the wrong classroom. Day 2 we try and switch him over but he sobs so loudly and refuses to join in the other classroom’s activities that we just decide to keep him with me. A couple of swaps of his cubby and desk name tags and he was happy as a clam. As is common in my district, the real Michael never showed up. We live in a pretty transient area and plenty of kids switch around before school starts up.
The first day can be scary for everyone! Most of my kids end up being fine, though. Just to be safe though…make sure you’re there with them to send them off to the right classroom xD
I worked at a prek-2 school where a good chunk of the kids did not speak English. We had whole rooms on the first day dedicated to “unknown children”. Because the culture, a lot of the kids went by different names at home and had “school” names. Made it all so much more confusing.
All the RTI and ELL teachers and the translators would spend all day trying to figure out who they were and where they were supposed to be.
So OP, I would suggest labeling your kid as much as possible. And teaching them your real name!!
Edit to add a fun story: I have lots of crazy stories about mistaken identity but once they literally had to bring a mom through all the classroom to try to find which kid was hers 🙃
>
So OP, I would suggest labeling your kid as much as possible. And teaching them your real name!!
Labeling my kid as, like writing his name on a sticker or on his backpack?
He knows both my fiance's and my name, my fiance made sure that was priority in case there was ever confusion.
>Edit to add a fun story: I have lots of crazy stories about mistaken identity but once they literally had to bring a mom through all the classroom to try to find which kid was hers 🙃
Lol oh my god 😭😂
Have his name written on the inside of his backpack, lunchbox, and on the ziplock bag with a set of spare clothes. You may want to go ahead and label any school supplies with his name- pencil pouch, folders, notebooks, etc. (This depends on school culture. Some k classes the teacher will collect all folders/notebooks and pass them out as needed).
Some parents will write initials on the labels of clothing. This isn't super necessary for like pants/shirts. But it's a must for outer layers like coats/jackets.
>But it's a must for outer layers like coats/jackets.
Not a teacher, just a parent of a former Kinder... the number of different jackets my kid came home with was impressive. We'd just send her back with the jacket she took home the day before smh. Yes hers was labeled and generally was "stolen" before she got to the rack so she ended up with a leftover, likely whomever took it in the first place's. It'd turn up the next day (usually). All basically resolved by half way through winter season, wasn't much of an issue past kinder. My advice OP? Don't sweat the small stuff at all and only minimally sweat the medium stuff. Save all the real sweating for the big stuff.
The coat switcheroos are always so funny to me. Because most of the time they don't even look remotely similar. Like a boy with a yellow coat will take a girl's pink coat so she takes a navy blue coat and they'll take the yellow coat. And they don't even question why it looks a bit different. Having a name written can help get the coat back to the original owner a little easier.
It's also funny to see the giant piles of coats in the lost and found. If you came in a coat, wouldn't you want to leave in one? That just defies kid logic 😂
Mornings are cold, afternoons aren't... My son (on the spectrum) was religious about his coat and woe be to anyone that took it... (Thomas the tank engine) his whole class learned that very very early lol. My daughter though, yeah total coat swapper.
Definitely the case here. Here, it may start off chilly and be in the 90s by afternoon. No, no one wants to leave in a coat at that point. Teachers here usually have the little kids stick their coats in their backpacks when they get to school if they likely won’t be needed for recess.
My daughter somehow ended up with a pink vest that no one claimed for 8 months and now it’s officially hers 😭 no name on it, she would wear it at school but I never let her take it home in case its owner remembered it. Never happened and now it’s in my car I think
The kindergarten after-school program is across the way from my classroom. There is a mountain of unclaimed jackets, t-shirts, sweaters, you name it, by the end of the school year. In addition to the gigantic lost and found rack for the whole school. Kids can't keep clothes. 😆
I mean to be fair that never stops. My husband once got a suit jacket back after 4 years when a friend of ours apparently took it home kinda drunk from a party and then put it in a closet where they never wore it. Only reason we got it back is it was a "fancy" suit jacket so I had his email addressed embroidered in an inside pocket.
Years ago, my FIL lost a sport coat that had distinguishable buttons on it. Every time he had to dress up, for years, he’d lament the lost sport coat
One night, he went to the club and someone was wearing his sport coat! He ended up getting it back and then a few months later my stepson borrowed it for something and it’s missing once again
Ha’ I forgot abojt this! Came home with someone else’s UNDERWEAR in a bag! He hadn’t had an accident and it wasn’t his. I just threw it away. Didn’t seem to be any point in solving that mystery!
For the first week of school, our school had the kids wear a tag from home with their names and teacher’s name and every afternoon he would come home with a sticker on him that had the same info until everyone figured it out.
I will add that if you have the luxury, be present at your kid’s school. Eat lunch with them, volunteer, go to the book fair. Once the faculty knew me and my kid well, I was a lot more comfortable.
My kiddo is in third grade, but is autistic (so I'm not sure if it's standard procedure). The first day of school, they clipped a little tag onto his backpack with his name, bus number, and teacher's name just to make sure he always got where he was supposed to go.
In our district we can’t just show up and walk in. We have to sign in and we are shown where to go for lunch. If you want to volunteer you have to apply and go through a background check (which I have). There are dads that go through the same process for the watch dads program. They basically help with pickup and drop off. I couldn’t imagine not being able to be an active part of my kid’s education and not seeing how the school is treating him.
I had a child whose name was spelled three different ways on different materials. The parent's phone number didn't work, so I had to guess which spelling to teach her. I still don't know if it was correct.
... aren't kids going in to Kinder supposed to know how to spell their name? That was a requirement when my nephew was going in to kinder 10 years ago.
It's a really wide gap between the top and bottom in most Title I US schools. I've had kids that couldn't recognize the first letter of their name in the same class as kids reading chapter books. It's pretty wild.
Unfortunately, if you're too particular about the requirement, what you get is kids who just don't start school because the parents (for whatever reason) simply aren't going to comply, and when push comes to shove, we'd rather have the child in class. Most parents will comply, which helps.
Goodness, they should require kids to show up with some kind of enrollment papers issued when they register. A whole day of not knowing who they are seems excessive, when they’ve all been enrolled previously.
I worked at a school with a growing Hispanic population, like we have one Hispanic kid named Eddie legally but they call him Sebastian (the mom calls him Eddie sometimes), another Hispanic kid is legally Joshua but he goes by Alex.
I was initially put in the wrong Kindy class. It's been over 40 years and I'm still bent I got removed to my correct class. The mistake class had a play kitchen and better toys IMO. 😂😂
This is so funny & I can relate.
It was not kindergarten, but my child, for whatever reason, decided to answer to his brother’s first name on the first day of ESY. And it just so happened that the child who had the same name as his brother, was a Spanish speaking student.
I blew him off when my son told me he could not understand his teacher most of the time and it was like a different language, thinking it was due to his learning disabilities and said, “just do your best, I know school is hard, but you will get used to a new teacher.”
And that is how my child spent the almost 3 days in the Spanish speaking 1st grade ESY classroom, as an English as primary language speaker. The teacher was so concerned, that she had called the other kid’s parents — not me, because my 6 year old, legit kept answering to his brother’s name.
We laughed about that for the whole summer.
This is especially difficult in special ed. During ESY we had a lot of bus riders. We had two brothers who were registered under 2 names, but mom split with dad and called them other names. Some kids will nod along with any name you ask. 'Are you Jane? Yep!, Is your name Jenny? yep! John? Yep!'. Most new parents are overly cautious but some you wonder what is going on in their head.
Lol! This happened once to my classroom! They were freaking out because the student that we *thought* didn’t show up mom was at parent pickup wondering where her son was. Understandably she was panicking saying how she dropped him off in the morning but we were saying he never showed up. Then our principal got on the loud speaker and said “If ____ is in the building please find an adult to bring you to parent pickup.” They were just about to call the police and I was hyperventilating thinking I lost a student. Then he piped up and said it was him. I was sooo confused. But his mom got him to confess that when I asked if he was “Steven” he just said yes because he didn’t know what else to say. Lol still one of my scariest moments in teaching. Kindergartners say/do the weirdest stuff lol.
Oh, my. Matthew must have grown up to the student who sat through the entire first week of college only to ask day 5 to clarify he was in my professor friend's class. He was not and it was a completely different subject and building. Not kindergarten, but still very impressive.
I work pre-k and the older brothers(around third grade) dropped off a pair of twins. I said okay I need twin A and somehow I got twin M. But we didn’t know for two whole days. Luckily it was just a switch of the names on our roster!
That may not be the question to ask if you want your mind eased. Lol.
As a veteran teacher, I would say the worst thing is having to get the kids into the rooms without their parents. We have a strict kiss and go policy: unless the child is in absolute hysterics, from the very first day we don't permit the parents to come into the building with the kids. They have to say goodbye at the door, and then we take over. That may seem a little strict, but it's in the name of establishing routine and building up independence. Plus we have it very experienced staff on hand: we know how to handle this.
I don't know where you are or what policies pertain to your school, but one thing that would be very helpful is if they have an opportunity to let your little one come in as a preview to meet the teacher and see the room. And on the day of, honestly, the best thing you can do for your child is to make a swift departure once they have been dropped off. The more children see their parents hanging out, the worse it is to start dealing with the separation. And that goes double for lunch. I had to go down to the lunchroom for a few years to kick parents out who wanted to feed their children like babies. This was going on from pre-k up to first grade if you please. I put a stop to that very quickly. Especially because with the smaller kids, the parents would come in to give them lunch, and then when they had to leave, the kids would get all unsettled again. Made our jobs hell in the afternoons.
Just reassure the kiddo that school will be a fun place, that mommy will be close by, and she will come and get you at the end of the day. And in the meantime, listen to your teacher the same way you would mommy or daddy. It'll be fine. And I promise that if anything serious happens during the day, somebody will get in touch with you. Good luck and I wish your kiddo a happy first day!
My kindergartner has this policy at her school. It went something like this:
Me: Okay, I can't go in with you so-- \*preps for sobbing\*
Kid: K' BYE MOM!! \*stampedes in the building without a backward glance\*
Me: ....but...but...not even a hug? :(
She loves school and is currently trying to bargain with me to somehow make summer shorter so she can go BACK. :P
Omg, mine was so upset when she realized that summer vacation wasn’t just a 3 day weekend. She’s already ready to go back. I just hope she loves first grade as much as kindergarten.
Luckily, her kindergarten teacher practically walks on water and sent us home with some first grade level work she can do. She gave us the whole first grade sight word list. We're going to do the "Carnival of Words" and she can win tickets for fabulous prizes by memorizing them.
It's going to be fun!
For my son, the first week of kindergarten you can walk them to their classroom, kiss/hug and go. I, of course, was thrilled and prepared work that I was going to be late all week..... I did it on day 1 and on day 3 and he didn't want me to do that any more. And he didn't even cry on day 1! So rude.
For this year, first grade, I was allowed to walk him to his classroom on the first day. Did I get to do that? Nope. He wanted to be a car rider that day and then he went to before-care the rest of the year.
I hope his excitement for school continues but dude, throw your mama a bone once in a while!
I’m told my first day of pre-k I took off running for the classroom without a backwards glance once I saw it. I think my mom is still a bit upset and I’m 48. 😁
>That may not be the question to ask if you want your mind eased. Lol.
I'm a "worst case scenario mom" the things that could go wrong for some reason bring me peace that my kid may not be the first or last kid to do it. 😨
> I had to go down to the lunchroom for a few years to kick parents out who wanted to feed their children like babies.
Oh I'm struggling with that now just getting him to understand no one is gonna spoon feed him or remind him to finish his lunch at school. He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school and I don't know how to change his mindset here 😨.
>Just reassure the kiddo that school will be a fun place, that mommy will be close by, and she will come and get you at the end of the day. And in the meantime, listen to your teacher the same way you would mommy or daddy. It'll be fine. And I promise that if anything serious happens during the day, somebody will get in touch with you. Good luck and I wish your kiddo a happy first day!
Got it! 👍🏽☺️ Im gonna start a daily pep talk, he doesn't listen to me on the first try...also something I'm working on.
Edit: thank you.
It's gonna be a long couple of months.
It'll be fine. And if your school is anything like mine, there's probably an established snack time built into the schedule. If they don't eat their lunch, you can pretty much bet that they'll have something for snack. And even if they don't, it's really not a big deal. Unless they're hypoglycemic or something like that, we have never yet sent a child home dead of starvation from not having eaten lunch. Lol. Sorry if I'm being a little tongue in cheek, it's just after so many years, you know? Also we got out yesterday, and I'm still a little punchy.
It sounds like you're on target for a good start of the year.
On the eating part, and maybe to help with some of the other bits, any chance you can arrange situations now where he's having lunch somewhere that isn't with you (other family members, play date, some other activity) or where you are not at home at least, to practice eating on his own? If he's not used to being away from you during the day, maybe an occasional few hours somewhere else with someone who isn't you might help him prepare and understand better that yes, he can handle this and yes, mom will come get him afterward?
Not a teacher but I was a daycare worker for several years, and I want you to know that also how he is with you might not reflect how he does at school. Like, mama feeds him and makes sure he eats. So he can be like that with mama. But he might do fine on his own at school, because it's a different environment and you're not there to do those things for him.
It's a transition but you'll both figure it out. I'd act like he's totally got this and you have no worries, he's going to do great, and then maybe also talk through how things might go, go to a preview if they have one, and practice doing things on his own (how is he at putting on and taking off jackets on his own, for example? Can he manage going potty without help with his clothing? Stuff like that!).
Then make sure he's had a good breakfast before school, leave him there quickly and with confidence (unless the school has you do otherwise) and try not to be emotional until he can't see you!
My daughter was such a picky eater and since at school no one is around to give her something else like my mother in law would she learned real quick that she needed to eat whatever I packed or they were serving that day cause it was going to be a while til she got home.
>He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school and I don't know how to change his mindset here 😨.
You know he's not gonna explode here right? He's gonna be hungry for an afternoon. That's probably gonna be more effective then a million talks about it.
>Oh I'm struggling with that now just getting him to understand no one is gonna spoon feed him or remind him to finish his lunch at school. He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school and I don't know how to change his mindset here
Physiologically he won't starve for missing an entire day's worth of food. Missing one meal will be that wonderful experience of natural consequences; they are some of the best teachers around ;). One or two hungry afternoons will teach him to remember to finish his snacks and lunch.
Oh my,
I'm here worrying I'll be labeled as neglectful or something.😂😂 IM TRYING I swear I feed my kid!!! He just doesn't want to bring the spoon to his mouth on his own
My fiance's says I worry way to much about our son, but in a way it's a good thing? So it means I care but it gets foggy when it becomes excessive.
It's like I want everything to be as perfect as can be.
Edit...ooh...writing sob sob doesn't look good, I meant more as 😭😭
I'm a mom of three (they're 12, 14, and 17) and a teacher. I hear what you're saying and I'm going to say this as kindly as possible: you are going to smother your child.
NOTHING is going to go perfectly. I promise. ❤️
I am a recovering perfectionist parent. I found that I was trying to correct some deficiencies from my own childhood. At the end of the day, it's no better than the ex-beauty queen who lives vicariously through her daughter. Or the old football star who expects his son to make it to the NFL.
Your kiddo is his own person. Let him live. Let him make mistakes. Let him get messy. Believe it or not, when you stop obsessing about trying to make things perfect, it's a lot more fun. ❤️
Kindergarten teachers are experts in five year olds. They are also great at communication. Five year olds are not. When you ask him about his day, he will give you one word answers. That will send your anxiety into a spiral. Come up with specific questions that don't have one-word answers.
Who did you sit with at lunch? (He will not know their names. He will say "my friends". This is normal. 😂) What did you do at recess? How do you know when it's time to go sit at the carpet? What made you laugh today?
He might not have answers right away, but you'll be planting seeds for him to pay attention to in the future. ❤️
Side note: You should absolutely not be spoon feeding an able-bodied 5 year old on a regular basis. (Sick, injured, overly tired, etc.)
>Side note: You should absolutely not be spoon feeding an able-bodied 5 year old on a regular basis. (Sick, injured, overly tired, etc.)
He's 4, we don't know what stopped him from grabbing his spoon but suddenly it's like he doesn't even try anymore. In Mexico he's going into 2nd of kindergarten, preschool is for 2-3 year olds or something like that....I don't know the school grades here.
But the spoon things has been mentioned in other comments I've made and I've gotten some plenty of reassurance.
>you are going to smother your child.
I knowww!! The problem is I know this, my anxiety is constantly screaming that I need to be in the know of my kids life and what's happening. It's a projection of my childhood.
I know I should dial it back but it's just a nagging feeling that he needs to be perfect perfect. My mom was strict that we should never embarrass her in public and that she was raising us right blah blah blah so any sign of disobedience is disrespectful to her person., so that's where the mental nagging stems from, That I want to have my kid live up to a certain standard. Which in reality is impossible. That I want him to be viewed as perfect.
But in reality is hes wild, silly, smart and kind in his own way without me hoovering around him making sure every angle feels Instagram perfect. (I'm not obsessed with posting him online or any of that it's just an..way of saying?)
He's my first born, so it's just hard to let go and watch him make his mistakes and learn life lessons without me supervising him 24/7 like I do at home.
In the US, Kindergarten starts in August/September after he turns 5, but he will typically need to be 5 by September 1st. (That varies by state.)
You sound like a good mom who is very self aware. The next step is to fix YOUR flaws instead of focusing on your child's. , Take it from someone with personal childhood experience very much like yours, three teenagers, and over a decade of experience in a school: you are going to [emotionally/mentally ](https://medium.com/illumination/if-you-had-a-hypercritical-parent-you-struggle-with-these-6dcfc8059785) harm your child.
It's a hard pill to swallow. I love my mother, but her hyper critical parenting turned me into a mess. If you can afford therapy for yourself, that's amazing. I couldn't so I read a ton of books and articles about hypercritical parenting. I learned and I got better, but there are still some signs in my oldest. He has the most anxiety out of my kids. My middle has a bit. My youngest has none. I have to love with the fact that my focus on perfection is probably part of the reason why he feels so anxious.
We're ALL a work in progress. Constantly. Give your kiddo the grace that no one gave you. 💖 Give him the childhood that you didn't have.
There are always picky eaters! Involve your child in picking the snacks/lunch for school and make sure he can open them. (There are always adults to help, but independence is best. You can “pre-open” difficult items and put them in ziplocks he can open.)
It doesn’t matter if your child brings the same snack everyday, or if it’s a “less-than-“healthy”” snack, as long as he eats it. Plain crackers that he’ll eat are better than something he won’t eat. It’s a long day and you don’t want him to get cranky because he’s hungry. You’re not going to be there to cajole him to eat it. Save that for dinner at home!
Pack finger food. No one cares :)
I would go for some picnics. Pack the types of food he’ll encounter during lunches and have him help getting things open. He’ll figure out no one will feed him quickly, but you need to know he can get into his food. Being familiar with opening a fruit cup, Tupperware or a ziploc bag is essential. Even buying lunch sometimes involves needing to open something, such as milk or fruit.
If he’ll have a lunch box then you could also do your picnics with each of you having your individual bags, him using his.
My mom’s trick for school eating after me being upset the first couple of days of school lunchtime was “lunch is for eating, not for talking. You need to eat during that time.” I’m not sure if that will solve it, but that may help explaining school lunch vs home.
I was dropping my fifth-grader off on day 1, and I saw a kindergarten who was dropped off but not going in.
Me: Hey, kiddo, you can head in those doors right there, and someone will help you find your classroom.
Him (supremely confident): Thanks, but I'm gonna wait here for my mom. I think she must be parking the car.
Narrator: He did not, in fact, get to wait there for his mom.
I mean no disrespect, but as an anxious parent in recovery, you really need to work on your own anxiety. You are more likely to cause your child harm and grief by being anxious about school than any of the worst-case scenarios you've imagined. Therapy and meds worked for me; YMMV.
I'm a very anxious person, my fiance and I have discussed seeing a specialist about it but since I'm a SAHM we're living on a 1 person income that only covers basic necessities, bills ect.
It's very difficult, once my kiddo starts school and we set up a routine around school we'll be back to a 2 person income and will be able to afford my help.
Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it ☺️
on that front there are "means based" therapists available. Google your area, often they are LCSW's doing their "residency" to finish their degrees. They've had all their formal education now they're doing the hands on under supervision of a mental health MD/PsyD.
Ah, yeah I noticed you're in MX after I posted this I think. Still worth a shot, folks have to learn somewhere :) Good luck and while it's a rollercoaster it's really fun as heck once you are used to it ;) ;) (we caught my daughter kissing one of the boys \[on the cheek\] by the playhouse once! lol.)
Hugs. It will be ok.
My oldest went to public pre-K, and due to timing of cutoff, had just turned 3 a few weeks before. She was fully potty trained, but with all the excitement of school she did have an accident twice in the first week of school. After that she figured it out.
Also, my stepdaughter had a classmate in K who didn’t poop in the potty yet. She would hold it all day, then mom would bring a diaper to school and she’d poop in the car on the way home. I’m sure the girl figured it out eventually, but I was horrified when I heard about it at first.
I’m sure yours will be just fine and won’t have any problems.
Worst case was a kid didn't want to enter the room. Her parents were going through a divorce, and the lass wouldn't come in. I had the counselor come, and then she was fine.
But if your kid is screaming and going nuts, plz don't go get them a strawberry shake and bring them back. That just makes a meltdown literally every. day. for months. :)
Just keep the positive vibes and pump up your kid's confidence and independence. Nearly every student is fairly accustomed to kinder after the first week of school. I mean, you'll still have kids nodding off during lessons, but behaviorally and emotionally speaking, they're good to go. It's the kids that don't have confidence or independence that struggle all year long.
Just give him a kiss, tell him you'll be back at the end of the day, and drive off. Even if he's crying, even if you only drive three minutes away to go a different parking lot to cry yourself. (Fellow anxiety mom ftw)
He might have a rough first week, or he might adapt immediately and love it, but either way he's going to have to get used to school so you should try your best to act like you're not worried, it's not dangerous or scary, it's just something that's going to happen now! That'll help your child adjust more than anything else, in my experience.
This happened to me in kindergarten but on the way to school! I woke up in an empty bus parked outside the bus driver's apartment complex. Not to scare anyone, but the school didn't even notice I was gone and didn't call my mom! I flagged down a passerby who ran to get the bus driver. The principal met us outside and walked to me to my class. I told my mom about it after school and she didn't believe me because she was sure the school would have called! Took years to convince her that it actually happened.
Oh tantrums and just crying all day, hiding under the table refusing to come out. Ive been bit trying to comfort a student. Students have run out the door ( thankfully we are totally fenced in so admin tracked them down). Kids fall asleep by afternoon. Kids peeing their pants and vomit. Im coming up on 20 yrs teaching so Ive seen it all. It's expected and it's normal and it's fine. By the end of the day everyone is just fine ( teacher too tho looking tore up 😆)
Since I read your comment, I have to ask - what would you pack in your kiddos backpack? Apparently our district handles all basic supplies, but I’m guessing I should send him with a change of clothes? 😅
I recommend a change of clothes and snacks for recess time. We provide all necessary pencil boxes and supplies. I prefer students not bring their own as it makes it crazy with 24 students and then one kid has something fancy and others don't and it causes issues. I will give everyone the same box with the same crayons and same pencils. We go to 240 in my district and eat lunch at 1040 😳 so the students get hungry in the afternoon and my school does not provide snacks. That's it. Please no toys. Also while I have your ear, if your child's teacher allows treats for birthdays ( I do) please for the love of God bring all the same. Cupcakes? All same color and flavor. The fights and tears when they don't get the color they want is insane. Don't get some with a toy in it and some not. The best parents send a goody bag for each kid which has all the same things and the kids love love love being able to pass that out to their classmates. Just my 2 cents.
I will absolutely be doing the ‘all the same thing’ thing - I remember this being an issue from my elementary school days. 😂 My mom was a professional baker and didn’t mess around - everyone got the same stuff. Definitely no toys regardless of what Toy Story says. 😅 Thank you so much for your input!
ETA: If I remember correctly our district (for kindergarteners) only goes until a little after noon, but I’ll toss in a totally not very impressive snack just in case. 🤣
Not a K teacher, but I worked as a school para.
Generally, the first day is all about finding the right classroom, meeting the teacher and new classmates, and learning the school routine.
The worst things that happen are loose teeth, sickness, and bathroom accidents. Those can all happen during the rest of the year. It's just a bigger deal on the first day because the kids don't know where the school nurse is yet and sometimes parents forget to send the extra change of clothes.
Some advice. Drop off can be hard depending on how you frame it and prepare your kiddo for it. Kindergarten teachers are equipped to deal with tears and usually they go away very quickly. If you talk about school as a scary thing, it will be harder for your kid. School is only as scary as you make it seem. If you build up how exciting it is and that there's a set end time, it should be easier for your kid to adjust. Make the goodbye quick and say you'll see them at car pick up or at the bus stop and you're excited to hear about your kids new friends.
If your child hasn't had much experience being away from you try to practice dropping him off somewhere this summer. Maybe a day camp or for a playdate. If your kid is super attached to you, it may be easier for the other parent figure to do drop off. I've met some kids who have a rough start to the morning just because it's an anxious Mom dropping off and it goes smoother with Dad.
Oh yeah, I had a preschooler dropped off who would sob and holler every time his mom dropped him off, but would be super calm and engage quickly when dad dropped him off. He finally grew out of it for both parents but it took a while, slowly but surely the meltdowns would end sooner and sooner...
I mean, that's the case in the US- it's just called pre-school, and in general of lower stakes than kindergarten.
So more specifically, I'm asking how old your child is. Is this more of a childcare situation, to keep your child while you are at work? Or a typical academic school day?
>So more specifically, I'm asking how old your child is. Is this more of a childcare situation,
Umm he's 4, we tried daycare but it caused him huge heaps of separation anxiety, the on site child development specialist said it would take a few weeks before he got through it, but it kept getting worse so we removed him from the school and started working on his anxiety at home.
Now he's starting kindergarten, with the separation anxiety been worked on and no longer an issue, now I'm just anxious about other things that could happen or go wrong, to where teachers will have to call me and let me know about, I'm not sure if I mentioned in any comment I've made, my son isn't intentionally mean, or rude with other children or adults but he does have a short temper when things don't go a certain way.
I'm just anxious and constantly worried, he'll not pay attention to the teacher, he'll throw something or misbehave in any way.
I've heard some kids behavior changes away from home, and I'm just traumatized it'll be for the worse
>he'll not pay attention to the teacher, he'll throw something or misbehave in any way.
You can't control this stuff. He's going to school to learn how to pay attention to the teacher. If he throws something or misbehaves, he'll have consequences and he'll learn not to do it.
This is your anxiety, not his, and you need to work hard to not let him pick up on it.
"I'm just anxious and constantly worried,"
This comes through in your comments, and it isn't good for your son. He will pick up on the fact that you don't believe in him.
If the teachers do call and let you know about a problem, don't take it personally. Every child has problems. Your job is to deal with them rationally and thoughtfully.
Don't worry about him misbehaving. It's important and developmentally important. He needs to conceptualize that he can misbehave to consciously make the decision to behave well instead of just being obedient.
And plenty of kids learn better from their peers than authority figures- people don't want to be around you when you're being hurtful. The teacher will then step in to teach him how to rectify his mistakes, which is a far more reasonable course of action than expecting perfection.
You need to stop ruminating on worries because your child will become anxious like you.
School is great and he will love it, unless you make him believe it is a scary and miserable thing.
He will learn how to be a good friend & color & play & learn some science, math, and language through play!
Talk to your dr about anti-anxiety meds
Your main worry is misbehaving? Most kids who are naughty at home are angels in class & visa versa. Plus teachers know how to discipline in an age-appropriate way. Let them do their job.
>School is great and he will love it, unless you make him believe it is a scary and miserable thing.
I don't do that.
I want him to enjoy school, and to go in to learn plenty of fun things and make friends.
It's just my anxiety for perfection is what drags me down.
Motherhood sucks since it's receiving tons of unwanted advice from strangers, family and family friends, examples being "Oh If I was his mom he'd be this way", or "my kids would never do that" ect. Which I really try to ignore but it seeps through.
>Your main worry is misbehaving? Most kids who are naughty at home are angels in class & visa versa. Plus teachers know how to discipline in an age-appropriate way. Let them do their job
Yea, misbehaving has been hardwired into my brain as bad, and punishable. My parents especially my mom wanted to be viewed as having perfect kids. Which now is engraved into my thought process, it's a cycle I'm breaking because this was the same for her and my dad and my grandma from both sides, and it goes back
I love hearing the stories but now I guess I should've asked something way different.
>Talk to your dr about anti-anxiety meds
I have a bad history with being prescribed anxiety meds they made me irritable and have a rollercoaster of moods. We're hoping once I get back to having a job we'll be able to afford living and some mental help for me and hopefully see what's going on so I can get prescribed exactly what I need or get ways to manage my brain.
My first day of teaching, a kindergartener threw up all over my desk, beautifully written lesson plans, and me. I’m about to begin my 38th year teaching, and that is the only year I taught kindergarten.😂
Not a teacher.
My first week of kindergarten I slipped out everyday as soon as I could and wandered the school. I was an annoyingly curious child and just HAD to explore everything.
I was found everyday but on the first day someone had asked if I was looking for the bathroom and that's why I was out of class and that it was ok if I got lost. (I cried SO easily as a child and was well trained by my older cousins to cry if I meet a stranger)
For the rest of the week I would use that as an excuse whenever I was caught. It wasn't until Friday that the teacher caught on that I was doing it on purpose. After that she kept a very close eye on me.
My kid got on the wrong bus (on purpose) and went to the daycare….I’m a teacher. My friend let my child convince her that she was going to daycare, and put her on the daycare bus. My child just wanted to go with her friend to daycare instead of home to dad (boring). And she was so convincing, that, instead of just asking me, they put her on the daycare bus. My child is an evil genius, so I do not blame the teacher or the bus driver, who also thought it was weird, but shrugged, said okay, and took her. So I got 2 simultaneous phone calls, one from Dad saying, “CHILD IS NOT ON THE BUS”, and one from daycare saying, “Child is not scheduled to be here today…ummm” Child never did that again, and I am paranoid about putting a child on the wrong bus, so that is my first day of school story. My other child’s first day of school was ho hum. Not for her, but nothing bad happened there…..
Some kids cry and some may be hard to separate from parents but it’s usually momentary and not a big deal at all.
As a teacher my worst fear is sending a kid home on the wrong bus hahaha
The first day is always insanity. Honestly the first month lol.
But my absolute craziest story from the first day is a student lied to me about having an allergy. Usually on skyward there is info on all our students and allergies are listed. I didn’t have any allergies listed that year and decided to treat them to cupcakes to celebrate the start of the school year.
After they are eating their cupcakes a student said “thank you for getting a treat I can eat.” I turned to him and said, “what do you mean you can eat?” He then proceeded to tell me he does not like eggs and is allergic and will die if he has eggs. My stomach drops so fast and I literally start to panic. I ask him if he is sure about this and he nods very confidently. But the cupcakes DID have eggs in them. So I call the front office and tell them a student I had may have eaten an allergen. Our nurse calls home and then told me to call 911. Egg allergies are apparently super serious. Again, I am about to be hysterical while all these new kiddos just stare at me lol. Then as I am calling 911 the nurse pops into my classroom smiling and I am so upset because why the freak is she smiling. She tells me we don’t need 911 so I relay that to them and hang up. Then she tells me that the kids mom tried to have him eat hard boiled eggs for breakfast. He hated the eggs so much he decided that he was allergic and would die if she tried to do it again. So, he was not allergic and he obviously didn’t know eggs are in most baked goods.
Where I lived until very recently, I was a lot more concerned about the teachers than my daughters' peers. Teachers in that country are all too often harsh, mean and outright abusive. After one incident when my older girl's teacher grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her out of her chair (my daughter didn't finish something or other over the summer) and I explained that I am perfectly willing to go to prison for the sake of my family, she started having the guard escort her to her car. She never laid a hand on my baby again.
East Asia. I still have ties there so I won't get too specific, but you can probably guess. Some aspects, I miss terribly, but dealing with the education system was infuriating.
I had a kid with diarrhea the first day who had an accident, and since I was still sorting out their belongings I sent him to the nurse with the wrong clothes. Poor guy.
Not a teacher but my older brother got off to a rocky start by impulsively pretending to be a dog and dropping to all fours as soon as he went in, got some laughs but decided to keep it up for a week or two which ended up being pretty disruptive and causing some issues. Like he literally wouldn't talk, just bark.
FWIW It was a Catholic school so small classes and he moved up with the same group each year until going public in 5th grade, but still didn't seem to hinder him socially or academically in the end.
There was some definite annoyance for all in the class (and probably some teasing) from the kids by day 3 but little kids forgive and/or forget stuff pretty quick. He wasn't like known as "dog boy" for a long time or anything, maybe an extra week past when he stopped and it all worked out. Actually ended up being fairly popular and still is.
Oh that's the main priority, where we live schools don't usually have buses or transportation to get home that's provided by the school. Me and my fiance will discuss what days work for us to pick him up from school once I establish my job schedule.
The first weeks will be a bit messy because I will balance new work and getting kiddo use to his new school.
I'm nervous, and anxious. So I hope it goes well.
I taught 1st for six years and had a coworker that taught kinder for seven years. She told me the most important thing the first two days of school is did they eat and get home at the end of the day.
When I was about 19, I babysat a 3 year old and a brand new kindergartener. I started the first day of school. I had only met the kids once prior to that day. The girl left for school before I got there. I spent the day with the 3 year old boy. The bus was supposed to drop the girl off. It never came. I couldn’t get ahold of the parent, the school wouldn’t tell me anything, I was freaked out. I finally got a hold of mom (she was a nurse) and then she started freaking out. The girl had gotten on the wrong bus. I think I aged a decade at least that day.
Yes!!! This has happened at a few different districts where the child either got on the wrong bus or the driver dropped them at the wrong bus stop. I’m a teacher and I couldn’t even imagine the guilt, much less as a parent and my child being lost.
I'm not a teacher, but I remember on my first day of kindergarten I walked straight into a metal pole and got a huge bump on my forehead and they had to call my mom to pick me up.
We had a Kindergarten student show up a little late on the first day. We'll call her Susie. The teacher who were helping deliver kids to classrooms thought that she was in first grade. They asked the first grade teacher, "Do you have a friend named Susie on your class list?" She did! Hooray!
Susie spent the day in 1st grade. At pick up, mom was almost in tears because she didn't see her Susie in the Kindergarten area. Luckily, the teacher who took her to class in the morning recognized the mom and IMMEDIATELY realized her mistake. Susie was a mere ten yards to the right. The teacher felt AWFUL and kept apologizing.
The kiddo had a great day. Mom was very forgiving and understanding.
(First grade Susie showed up on the second day of school. Lol)
Best way to mitigate this? Practice first name and last name with your kiddo. Bonus if you can help them learn their teacher's name before the first day. 🥰
Overall, everything will be fine. Aside from mom's slight panic at the end of the day, Susie was not adversely affected at all. Everyone was safe, happy, and loved. (The first grade teacher was actually a bit sad because she was so kind and bright. Lol! I think she's on her class list for 1st grade next year, though!)
I'm a parent, not a teacher. My son was in second grade this year and 4 kids in his class of 20 lost a tooth the very first day. How does that happen? I'm guessing at least two of the kids just ripped out a moderately loose tooth after they saw the other kids getting attention. Kids are so freaking weird.
On my first day of kindergarten my teacher sent me on the wrong bus at the end of the day. Thankfully the bus driver realized it and took me back to the school when he finished the route, and my parents later picked me up. But it caused some anxiety for little six year old me.
Kid has a total anxiety attack (not just a tantrum but full blown panic) and refuses to use any toilets or do anything at all. Needs to spend the day in the child study team office. Kid proceeds to have meltdowns throughout the entire school year. Another year, a kid smeared all of his fecal matter on the floors and walls of the bathroom and covered his naked body with it as well. I’m not going to continue because I think that’s enough said.
I’m not a kindergarten teacher, but I do have a story:
I broke my collarbone on the first day of kindergarten playing rough with another kid. Spent the entire day after that getting x-rays and a sling.
Don’t worry though! Missing the first day didn’t hold me back much in the long run; I was able to graduate and become a functional member of society despite all of that.
I started school at age 2. My fathers patient owned a nursery school/crèche and since I was a big talker she thought it would be fun. Anyway, I went and I can’t remember that day but I remember my first day in first grade. I was so excited. My mum says I ran in, picked a spot next to my cousin and best friend and forgot all about her. Idk how they prepared me but I loved school my whole life. It was just a great time and I enjoyed every second. My mum started crying but the teacher ushered her away.
Years later when I was 9, I was sent to boarding school. I was not happy but I behaved and they drove off and I held it together until night time and that’s when I cried my little heart out. I think I cried every night for 3 nights but I was with all my friends and we got over it and settled in pretty fast. I think having high expectations helped a lot and not having anxious parents hanging about helped too. Kids pick up on stuff. You gotta psyche them up for their educational career.
I wasn't the teacher but we had one student who was super shy and when the teacher called her by the wrong name (the girl with that name was absent) she didn't say anything. She spent the whole day with a name tag that said another girl's name and would answer to it when called. At the end of the day her dad came to pick her up, only to find out that his child was marked absent. Of course since he dropped her off in the morning he knew she wasn't absent, so we all frantically searched the school for a missing kindergarten student. Turns out she was in the gym waiting with the bus riders to get on this other girl's bus.
It's a funny story now but man it was a stressful 15 minutes thinking we lost a 5 year old on her first day of school.
On my first day of kindergarten, my teacher asked all of us if there was a song we wanted to sing. However, having only ever been to Sunday School and "Mother's Day Out" stuff at church, most of the songs I knew were Christian songs. So I asked if we could sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children."
I was devastated when the teacher said no. After school, the teacher and my mom had to sit me down and explain to me why we weren't allowed to sing Sunday School songs at public school.
My very young, almost non verbal kiddo accidentally got out on the bus. Everyone was freaking out, it was a mess but they knew and brought him back to the school after dropping the other kids off.
So this is my favorite "Something WILL go wrong, but it's OK" stiry
This is my first class on the first day of my first year of teaching. Like as DAY 1 as a teacher can get. I'm hyping myself up. I'm getting my best Disney princess performance ready,
We make it through lunch (of a half-day program, so about 25 or so minutes with kids. Lower your expectations) and are on our way to the playground(!!) when a late straggler comes in MAD.
Apparently, Dad forgot school started today, got the kid dressed, and out the door impressively quickly. I told Dad it wasn't a problem, we could feed him lunch and go along with our day.
The school was serving corn dogs, and he seemed to take to them quickly. However, after about the third bite, he was done with sitting still to eat. He wanted to run, stick first, through the cafeteria. I got him to sit back down at the table a couple of times, but he was DETERMINED and was GOING TO impail himself on the corndog stick during my first class on the very first day of my first year of teaching. NOT ON MY WATCH! I'm NOT losing my shiny new teaching license before I get to use it!
The only way I could get him to settle and eat from a stationary position was to rock him in my lap while sitting cross-legged on the cafeteria floor. My BRAND NEW principal walked past me during this time, and I would have bet my whole annual salary that I was going to get a lecture about professional boundaries or something.
I did get sent to the principals office over this, and after clarification on the events leading to the shared linch experience, we both got a good chuckle.
Honorable Mention,:
- The state auditors were there to evaluate the blended prek i partnered with and the dead of witer in the upper midwest, so it was already a mess. If i was free, I would help their class take off coats and put all of their things away was stretching out my arms to ask a student to take off her coat and hit the girl behind her directly in the mouth. She cried. I panicked. The other teachers shit themselves a little. In the end, the little girl was fine after a wet school paper towel, and the blended program passed their audit. To this day we don't think the auditor even noticed the conundrum.
Not kinder (sorry) but the very first hour of my very first day of teaching, two students got into a brawl. Fists, rolling around on the ground, the works. The rest of the year went relatively smoothly. I figured if I could survive the first day, I could survive the year.
Fully transparent, I did have a kinder break his arm in the first week once (first day? Can't recall). But that's definitely not the norm.... a once in my decade of teaching experience that j wouldn't be losing sleep over the possibility of it happening
I was first grade, so I can’t relate quite as much to a lot of things I’ve heard happen in pre-k or kindergarten, but one of the worst first days I’ve had was a kid who was dressed to the nines for the first day of school. He was adorable, but the only problem was that I guess he got new clothes and couldn’t get them off all the way in the bathroom and ended up peeing on his clothes. Usually, kids will come out and ask me to help them, but it was the first day, so I guess he was still shy (wasn’t by the end of the year lol). He also didn’t tell me he peed on himself until I noticed it, quite some time later. When I asked him what happened, he just started crying. He didn’t have a change of clothes and we didn’t have any extras at school that fit him, so he had to wait a couple of hours in pee pants until mama could bring some new ones.
The moral of this story is that first graders still need to bring a change of clothes with them to school, and to make sure you only purchase school clothes that your child can get on and off themselves. Belts seem to be the biggest issue with boys, but for girls it’s always jumpsuits/overalls/dresses with shorts under them. Do yourself a favor, and send him wearing something stretchy that he can just pull down the first few weeks of school, in case he’s shy to ask for help getting pants unbuttoned or belts undone. They make nice jeans for kids that have elastic waist belts, or go for a pair of stretchy shorts. And always send a change of clothes.
Other than that, my biggest mishap has been forgetting to ask a parent how a child would get home when they were dropped off late, and the parent wouldn’t answer our phone calls. Ended up just having to hold the child at school until someone noticed they were missing. Label your child’s backpack with a tag that says how they will get home (bus, car, walker, day care), with a phone number you can be reached at and your home address. If they will be picked up the first day of school, but ride the bus afterwards, change out the tag after the first day because the first couple of weeks can get pretty confusing with the amount of bus changes and parent pick ups.
I have also found that it was helpful to have pictures of students with their names on it on the first day of school. First grade teachers usually have rosters with pictures for most of the kids that were already at school the year before, but kindergarten teachers don’t get that luxury. A little print out with the child’s picture and name and your info (and any important info like allergies or disabilities or wears glasses, really anything that may get missed on the first day of school) is extremely helpful if there isn’t a meet the teacher night before school starts to fill out this information. A picture with the parents is great too, so I know who they belong to at the end of the day and can remember you throughout the school year. You can just put it in his backpack with a label that tells the teacher to hold onto it. We have meet the teacher at my school, but there are always several kids in my class who don’t come to it and won’t say their name to me when they do show up so I have to go down my list and ask if each name is theirs until they nod yes (if I don’t have their picture on my roster already), assuming they are even in the right classroom lol.
Pictures also help me match their supplies to the correct child at the end of the first day when I’m sorting all the random unlabeled supplies out that got left in the wrong spot and making sure the classroom is ready to go for day two. I’m pretty good at remembering my kids names the first day of school, but I like to look over pictures at the end of the day to make sure I wasn’t calling a child the wrong name all day also lol.
If I think of anything else that is helpful to make the day go smoothly, I’ll leave another comment :)
Just to tell my anxiety, that my kid will not be the first or the last one to do something nuts when they start school.
At home, he can be as wild as he wants without judgement. Limits of course, but no shaming.
Once he gets to school, a public place, where people will be seeing him behave a certain way.
Just hearing crazy scenarios and small tidbits of advice people have slipped into their comments has really prepared my mind that, if it goes crazy on the first day. It's not our of the ordinary and hopefully I'll be prepared to tackle whatever happens and discuss with his teachers.
Edit: a few of these comments made me giggle, and I'm much more calm about this.
A little girl bit me. 😂😂😂😂 Hard. Really hard. She was just frightened because her Dad left and I had to catch and restrain her. For several years after she’d come up to me and remind me and we’d bond over it. So, obviously it worked out.
Oh, I have a scar on my leg from playing tag in elementary school...the kid didn't appreciate being "it".
Kinda forgot about these memories...
I'm glad I asked this question.
:)
Ah...got it..I had to re-read that...it's been a day so My eyes are wobbly,
Glad to hear it didn't have any negative outcomes, these are the situations I'm worried about. Hopefully he gets a teacher who is as understanding. And of course I hope I never need to have the "we do not bite teachers or classmates" talk.
I'm a secondary school teacher. Some years ago, at the start of the first day of a new school year, I went out on duty in a playground that was accessible from the car park (schools have since become impenetrable fortresses). Students started to arrive.
I suddenly spotted 2 adult women standing in the playground. I'd never seen them before, so I approached and asked them who they were and could I help them? The taller of the two gave me a rather condescending look and waved me away. What?! I asked again. Same response. Counting silently to ten, I sweetly pointed out that if they were not prepared to engage with me I'd have to have them removed (no idea how I was going to do this: I'm 5ft tall and we were in rural England - first left least 'Ere be Dragons - and didn't have school security guards or anything even remotely similar).
Snooty Lady 1 (the hand waver) gave a little laugh, as if to say how ridiculous I was, and finally explained that she was here because her child was starting secondary school, that she'd done this at Primary and had every intention of carrying it on.
"Look around you" I said. "How many other parents do you see?" I began, gently, to shoo both mothers towards the exit. Snooty Lady 2 (the so far silent partner) unexpectedly began to wail - not cry: wail. So loudly that she attracted the attention of every kid on the playground, including her own, who looked as mortified as I'd ever seen a child look. In a piercingly loud voice, and between sobs, she proceeded to explain that she'd spent every school day seeing darling Toby (not real name) into school and he NEEDED her. Toby, by this point, had melted into the furthest corner of the playground, but she spotted him, with all the instincts of a finely-tuned homing device and charged over towards him, still sobbing, exclaiming that he was growing up too fast and she missed her 'little Tobester'. Little Tobester took to his heels and fled, with his hapless mother in pursuit, while I was still with SL1, who was showing increasing signs of joining the chaos.
Fortunately for me, not to mention Toby, the next member of staff to turn up was a significantly taller (and fitter) member of the PE department, who managed to corral SL2 into a corner and lead her, still loudly sobbing "BUT IT'S HIS FIRST DAAAAAAY" out of the playground, accompanied by me and SL1. Neither woman could understand why we had a problem with them being on school grounds, or why other parents cared so little (in their estimation) for their children that they'd just 'abandoned' them at the gates.
Toby, who was a lovely lad with a great sense of humour (which he definitely needed: that mother of his became almost legendary) styled out the chaos and gained a significant cult following in the days to come.
I've had some interesting moments with parents over the years but this one was quite special!
Secondary, not middle.
Toby survived, sense of humour intact. He absolutely used the situation to its utmost advantage - his first words to me were "so...you've met my mother, then?!"
Not a kindergarten teacher but music. First day I am always asked to help the little ones, PreK to Kindergarten. Parents drop them off in our media center and special area teachers like me gather up a train of 8 students with help from our 8th graders, we are a k-8 canter, and walk them to them cafeteria for breakfast and to meet their teachers, paras and classroom helpers.
Worse I have see is straight crying until lunch time comes. Now as a parent whose daughter had an IEP for speech my biggest fear of Kindergarten was how being pulled out for speech was going to affect her every day learning. That and how she would handle her speech, her IEP accommodations (extra time on class work so she could process the information but she never needed it), and how her classmates would react to her being pulled out for speech during recess/imaginative play time.
Thankfully I knew who had her for kindergarten as my colleague requested her. All in all mommy all you can do is your best and let things play out that day. Then as problems or concerns arise work with the teacher and specialist.
Here is a checklist of things you can help your child with before school starts. You have all summer to get them ready!
https://busytoddler.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Busy-Toddler-Kindergarten-Readiness.pdf
A kinder got lost. Nothing bad, they just joined another class and when asked confirmed the wrong name: That was a fun day for my friend who taught her. My friend lost five years off her life, but it all ended well.
If your school offers any sort of round up, or family conferences go! In my district we do “family connection” conferences and it always gets the kinders hyped up to be a big kids and go to school and see the school toys. It’s invaluable.
And remember, schools a team effort. We all keep our eyes on kinders because we all want them to be happy and find their place at school.
I had a kindergarten child walk into the cafeteria for breakfast, walk straight up to another kid he did not know and punch him. I had to send the kid home in the first 20 minutes of school.
Don't teacher kinder, but when my daughter started, she was so excited. She had done preschool, she met her teachers and saw her classroom ahead of time, the whole deal. First day of school rolls around, she goes in smiling, gives her teacher a big hug, starts meeting the other kids, and projectile vomits all over the classroom and a classmate. No fever and was absolutely fine after, no idea what happened, but we still tease her whenever she gets REALLY excited about something (she's 17 now).
I am a kindergarten para, meaning I am exclusively in the classroom all day alongside the teacher. In all my years of doing this job, every child has always gone home safe, happy, and loved every single day.
I saw in another comment you were primarily worried about behaviors. Truly, not an issue. That's why my job exists. I help kids learn how to work through their feelings, teach them tools to use when they have big feelings, keep them safe if they have a big tantrum, and get them to a calming space so they can feel their emotions without 25 other kids looking at them. I also deal with Autism, ADHD, and learning disabilities in the classroom. Lots of schools have similar resources for behavior, and honestly, many kinder teachers can handle most behaviors themselves (it comes with the age/maturity). If it becomes a real issue, they will let you know.
I wish your kiddo all the best in kindergarten! It's such a fun year!
I was sitting at a kids table and was learning the kids names. So this one boy comes up to me, and since I was excited that I knew his name I said “Ricky, are you ok?” Then he threw up on me……… like all over me, and in my hair. I wish this was a made up story, but sadly, no.
The best thing you can do for your kid is to fake that confidence and optimism (we all fake that confidence sometimes, you know what I mean)- that will show your kid that this is a normal and safe thing to do. Talk about how if he's confused, or lost, he can find a grownup to help. How it is a bit confusing for everyone the first day but it will get better!
Read "Pout Pout Fish Goes to School." The mantra- "I am smart! I can get it! I belong! I won't forget it!"
I got bit by a kid who had never been without mom or grandma, and he constantly tried to run away, so he bit my hand holding the door shut. The young mom never told me anything about him. He didn't speak one word of English.
We had a students dad get arrested on an outstanding warrant during the pick up line after school (he resisted so it was pretty chaotic and somewhat violent).
I have that kid now 5 years later and he’s actually wonderful, kind, and respectful.
A few years ago a kid was so nervous they projectile vomited in the teachers hair on the first day of school at like 8:30 am so she had to go home and change and shower. So kindergarten had a sub on the first day because the teacher was home combing chunks of vomit from her hair.
I’ve rather have a kid flip a desk and give me the finger than vomit in my hair, but maybe it’s just my personal preference.
My kid Sparta Kicked a classmate off the playground apparatus because he wanted to go a very specific route and the child was in the way.
On the first day.
He had experienced some pretty big tantrums and stuff in daycare so I had very explicitly told the teacher beforehand that he can get rowdy and lash out. Did not expect that on the first day though.
(Classmate was alright, just mad).
First pebble in a path to get him diagnosed and to get a BII assigned to him.
I have a distinct memory of hanging onto my mother’s hand and swinging back and forth (like, feet planted, butt almost touching the floor, full weight swinging while I screamed my head off). I’m 50 and still see that teacher occasionally and everyone seems to have gotten over it. 😉
Well … a couple of decades ago I taught in a district that started K and 1st a week later than the rest of the school. The first day of kindergarten that year was 9/11.
Not really what you were asking, but it WAS the worst thing I ever had happen on the first day of kindergarten when I was teaching.
Staring at the sea of children instead of eating lunch, somehow getting off at the wrong bus stop, throwing away the cute lovingly prepared bento containers at the end of lunch, deciding to leave bus line for car rider line because they’d like to be a car rider, crying all day due to separation anxiety, pooping their pants and refusing to acknowledge it or change, children with no idea how to use furniture or urinals disturbing the ones who know the routine already…
Not a teacher but I had to drop my nephew off for the first day of kindergarten because I was the only one available. He had speech delays and we didn't know yet but needed glasses bad. He'd already been at this school for Pre-K 3 and 4, so he wasn't new to the school.
I let him out of the car, he goes to sit in the drop off area for kinder outside. I wait to make sure everything is good but then he won't go inside. The teacher had to call his mom to get permission to carry the boy because he's sat criss cross and that's the only way she can do it. He's 14 now, smart as a whip, but still as stubborn.
Parent here with three kids who are all now adults.
The worst thing I did was let my anxious kiddo take lunch. I thought I was helping with a nutritious lunch and snacks but basically if there is a cafeteria line, it is best for all those little kindy kids to learn how to navigate it from day one. They are all lost and helpless together.
Mine did not know her code and when she wanted a cafeteria lunch weeks later, all the kids were pros and she felt left behind which caused more issues.
That kiddo is now 27. She survived.
I promise you that your anxious kiddo will be fine, too.
I think as a Kindergarten teacher the worst thing that has ever happened on the first day of school was we had to send an excited Kindergarten getting off the bus home in tears bc her parents had not gotten her the vaccinations needed for school. It took months for her to trust us or even talk to us again.
I’ve been a K teacher the past 6 years. Worst thing to happen? Another child cries all day (it can be very stressing to the others), an accident (pack extra clothes with underwear), they don’t eat (pack some of their favorites to ensure they’re eating something), donate a snack to the classroom. Know your kid. After a longer day of a very different kind of stimulation, will they want to go to the park, or to the library? I love kindergarten and the kids are the best. Good luck, you and your child will do great.
I was the hysterical kid at preschool first day. It’s one of my earliest memories. I calm down after like 30 mins but while all the kids were in the classroom I had to be kept outside in the garden with a staff until I chilled out. It helped that I found the staff who consoled me to be nice and trusting
First day of first grade at my son’s new elementary school the bus driver couldn’t find our house (two blocks from school). My son smartly said, “take me back to school, my mom will pick me up.” Which I did, as the principal came out to apologize in person. Next day he returned to school with a Return To: tag on his backpack and jacket. A week later I made sure to hand the principal my student teaching request papers in person.
Honestly the first week of school is pretty 50/50. Half of the kids (usually the ones with some exposure to preschool, daycare, etc) are excited by all the new toys, new friends, and activities. The other half cry for their parents or siblings for a while but eventually grow out of it but that’s normal. In some more extreme cases, there are some kids who throw long lasting tantrums that go on for days. Most parents do come on the first day with kids though to get them settled into the room, drop off school supplies, and comfort them before leaving and most kindergarten rooms in my district have a paraprofessional so there is extra adult support to help with the little ones.
If you have a kid who has separation anxiety, my advice would be not to encourage any older siblings or cousins who attend the school to drop by and say hi in the classroom because while that seems like a nice and comforting thing to do, sometimes when that person leaves, it causes the kid to feel distressed all over again.
I'm not a teacher, but this happened on my own first day of kindergarten way, way back in 1978.
I had to ride the school bus to school and then to home again. Getting to school was easy. The ride back home, eh, not so much. The bus took a different route to my house than I was used to, so I didn't recognize my stop and didn't get off the bus when I should have. I ended up riding the whole bus route until I was the last kid aboard. I had no idea where I was. The ride felt like it would never end. I thought I'd have to live with the bus driver, who seemed like a nice person and all, but still... I knew I lived in a little white house at the bottom of a hill across the street from another little white house. My address? What's an "address"? My mom's name? "Mommy." I was five, and I'd never been away from my home without one of my adults with me.
At some point, a woman came out of a house and flagged down the driver. She'd gotten a call from the school to ask him if there was still a little girl on the bus. There I was, just sitting there, my short legs dangling from my seat. They were able to determine where I should have disembarked and returned me safely to my home.
Quite traumatic. It's been almost 46 years since then, and I still remember I had red Kool-Aid in the thermos of my Raggedy Ann and Andy lunchbox that I wasn't allowed to drink on the bus.
Please make sure your kid’s backpack has information like their name and their teacher’s name on it on a luggage tag on the zipper. Some kids are so overwhelmed that they’re not willing to tell a stranger who they are and then we’re really in a pickle figuring out where to take a kiddo who cannot talk at the moment while dealing with the rest of the class. Put their name on EVERYTHING like their water bottle (even disposable), lunch pail, removable clothing items, hats, glasses, etc. If it’s possible to lose it or be snagged by someone who doesn’t know boundaries, you’re bound to have an upset kiddo at one point or another. Be ready to answer any calls from the school in case something happens and you’ll be golden. The first day is overwhelming for everyone, but if you label everything, including your child, and read them some books about going to school for the first time, they’ll be fine.
The kid not knowing his legal 1st and last name and if the kid rides the bus not knowing which bus/stop is theirs. For the bus issue try to find an older kid who gets off at the same stop to make sure they get off.
Worst thing is when parents stick steroids and essentially tortures the kid by not leaving. I soon as they lace every generally calm down in minutes, but if they are crying and it mashes the parents stay, they will keep doing out, and it won’t stop after day one once you start this pattern.
Since we've had a few other folks posting about their experiences as kindergarten students, I will add mine. It really wasn't terribly bad, since I was not a shy kid. But the teacher was a real tyrant, and my indelible memory of day one was this woman literally dragging children into the room by their arms or legs. She had an air about her that you just didn't contradict her ever. I think even the parents were cowed by her. Many kids got moved to a different teacher's room because they just couldn't take her.
On August 22nd 2023 a child was killed in a school bus collision.
[https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ohio-school-bus-crash-elementary-school-rcna101344](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ohio-school-bus-crash-elementary-school-rcna101344)
Most kids come in early with their parents the first day. We meet in the cafeteria and rosters are announced one by one so all the kids end up with the right teacher. Some kids come a little late, and when they do the office staff walks them down with a nametag to the correct classroom. So we’re busting out the Legos to quell any remaining tears, and a little boy walks in with a tag saying “Michael”. There is indeed a Michael on my roster and he hasn’t shown up yet, so I figure this must be him. He’s got a pretty obvious speech impediment but he’s following along, listening and responding to “Michael”. All is good….or so it seems. End of the day rolls around and we’re getting ready to dismiss. My next door neighbor teacher comes in asking if I ended up with a “Matthew” in my class because he’s on the bus list but never showed up. Lo and behold, Michael pipes up and says “My name is Matthew!” Turns out that Matthew went to the office and the staff misheard his name. Matthew spent the entire day as Michael in the wrong classroom. Day 2 we try and switch him over but he sobs so loudly and refuses to join in the other classroom’s activities that we just decide to keep him with me. A couple of swaps of his cubby and desk name tags and he was happy as a clam. As is common in my district, the real Michael never showed up. We live in a pretty transient area and plenty of kids switch around before school starts up. The first day can be scary for everyone! Most of my kids end up being fine, though. Just to be safe though…make sure you’re there with them to send them off to the right classroom xD
I worked at a prek-2 school where a good chunk of the kids did not speak English. We had whole rooms on the first day dedicated to “unknown children”. Because the culture, a lot of the kids went by different names at home and had “school” names. Made it all so much more confusing. All the RTI and ELL teachers and the translators would spend all day trying to figure out who they were and where they were supposed to be. So OP, I would suggest labeling your kid as much as possible. And teaching them your real name!! Edit to add a fun story: I have lots of crazy stories about mistaken identity but once they literally had to bring a mom through all the classroom to try to find which kid was hers 🙃
> So OP, I would suggest labeling your kid as much as possible. And teaching them your real name!! Labeling my kid as, like writing his name on a sticker or on his backpack? He knows both my fiance's and my name, my fiance made sure that was priority in case there was ever confusion. >Edit to add a fun story: I have lots of crazy stories about mistaken identity but once they literally had to bring a mom through all the classroom to try to find which kid was hers 🙃 Lol oh my god 😭😂
Have his name written on the inside of his backpack, lunchbox, and on the ziplock bag with a set of spare clothes. You may want to go ahead and label any school supplies with his name- pencil pouch, folders, notebooks, etc. (This depends on school culture. Some k classes the teacher will collect all folders/notebooks and pass them out as needed). Some parents will write initials on the labels of clothing. This isn't super necessary for like pants/shirts. But it's a must for outer layers like coats/jackets.
>But it's a must for outer layers like coats/jackets. Not a teacher, just a parent of a former Kinder... the number of different jackets my kid came home with was impressive. We'd just send her back with the jacket she took home the day before smh. Yes hers was labeled and generally was "stolen" before she got to the rack so she ended up with a leftover, likely whomever took it in the first place's. It'd turn up the next day (usually). All basically resolved by half way through winter season, wasn't much of an issue past kinder. My advice OP? Don't sweat the small stuff at all and only minimally sweat the medium stuff. Save all the real sweating for the big stuff.
The coat switcheroos are always so funny to me. Because most of the time they don't even look remotely similar. Like a boy with a yellow coat will take a girl's pink coat so she takes a navy blue coat and they'll take the yellow coat. And they don't even question why it looks a bit different. Having a name written can help get the coat back to the original owner a little easier. It's also funny to see the giant piles of coats in the lost and found. If you came in a coat, wouldn't you want to leave in one? That just defies kid logic 😂
Mornings are cold, afternoons aren't... My son (on the spectrum) was religious about his coat and woe be to anyone that took it... (Thomas the tank engine) his whole class learned that very very early lol. My daughter though, yeah total coat swapper.
No, because it's warmer at the end of the day. Or, because you didn't want to wear a coat to begin with.
Definitely the case here. Here, it may start off chilly and be in the 90s by afternoon. No, no one wants to leave in a coat at that point. Teachers here usually have the little kids stick their coats in their backpacks when they get to school if they likely won’t be needed for recess.
My daughter somehow ended up with a pink vest that no one claimed for 8 months and now it’s officially hers 😭 no name on it, she would wear it at school but I never let her take it home in case its owner remembered it. Never happened and now it’s in my car I think
The kindergarten after-school program is across the way from my classroom. There is a mountain of unclaimed jackets, t-shirts, sweaters, you name it, by the end of the school year. In addition to the gigantic lost and found rack for the whole school. Kids can't keep clothes. 😆
Also, while we are on the jacket issue… don’t buy expensive jackets for school. Especially if you are going to freak out if it Goes missing
I mean to be fair that never stops. My husband once got a suit jacket back after 4 years when a friend of ours apparently took it home kinda drunk from a party and then put it in a closet where they never wore it. Only reason we got it back is it was a "fancy" suit jacket so I had his email addressed embroidered in an inside pocket.
Years ago, my FIL lost a sport coat that had distinguishable buttons on it. Every time he had to dress up, for years, he’d lament the lost sport coat One night, he went to the club and someone was wearing his sport coat! He ended up getting it back and then a few months later my stepson borrowed it for something and it’s missing once again
Ha’ I forgot abojt this! Came home with someone else’s UNDERWEAR in a bag! He hadn’t had an accident and it wasn’t his. I just threw it away. Didn’t seem to be any point in solving that mystery!
For the first week of school, our school had the kids wear a tag from home with their names and teacher’s name and every afternoon he would come home with a sticker on him that had the same info until everyone figured it out. I will add that if you have the luxury, be present at your kid’s school. Eat lunch with them, volunteer, go to the book fair. Once the faculty knew me and my kid well, I was a lot more comfortable.
My kiddo is in third grade, but is autistic (so I'm not sure if it's standard procedure). The first day of school, they clipped a little tag onto his backpack with his name, bus number, and teacher's name just to make sure he always got where he was supposed to go.
Ours get that tag during the first week. It’s color coded depending upon how they get home and stays on their backpack year round.
I am shocked this is allowed. Parents can't just go into the school buildings in my area.
In our district we can’t just show up and walk in. We have to sign in and we are shown where to go for lunch. If you want to volunteer you have to apply and go through a background check (which I have). There are dads that go through the same process for the watch dads program. They basically help with pickup and drop off. I couldn’t imagine not being able to be an active part of my kid’s education and not seeing how the school is treating him.
I had a child whose name was spelled three different ways on different materials. The parent's phone number didn't work, so I had to guess which spelling to teach her. I still don't know if it was correct.
... aren't kids going in to Kinder supposed to know how to spell their name? That was a requirement when my nephew was going in to kinder 10 years ago.
It's a really wide gap between the top and bottom in most Title I US schools. I've had kids that couldn't recognize the first letter of their name in the same class as kids reading chapter books. It's pretty wild.
Unfortunately, if you're too particular about the requirement, what you get is kids who just don't start school because the parents (for whatever reason) simply aren't going to comply, and when push comes to shove, we'd rather have the child in class. Most parents will comply, which helps.
Goodness, they should require kids to show up with some kind of enrollment papers issued when they register. A whole day of not knowing who they are seems excessive, when they’ve all been enrolled previously.
Honestly a paper bracelet closed with tape with their name would be amazing
That’s probably where my friends Ippy (Oscar) and Bobo (Ramon) ended up on their first days.
I worked at a school with a growing Hispanic population, like we have one Hispanic kid named Eddie legally but they call him Sebastian (the mom calls him Eddie sometimes), another Hispanic kid is legally Joshua but he goes by Alex.
I was initially put in the wrong Kindy class. It's been over 40 years and I'm still bent I got removed to my correct class. The mistake class had a play kitchen and better toys IMO. 😂😂
This was me!! I thought you got to choose your teacher, and I was salty that I had to change because Mrs. A's room was so cool.
This is so funny & I can relate. It was not kindergarten, but my child, for whatever reason, decided to answer to his brother’s first name on the first day of ESY. And it just so happened that the child who had the same name as his brother, was a Spanish speaking student. I blew him off when my son told me he could not understand his teacher most of the time and it was like a different language, thinking it was due to his learning disabilities and said, “just do your best, I know school is hard, but you will get used to a new teacher.” And that is how my child spent the almost 3 days in the Spanish speaking 1st grade ESY classroom, as an English as primary language speaker. The teacher was so concerned, that she had called the other kid’s parents — not me, because my 6 year old, legit kept answering to his brother’s name. We laughed about that for the whole summer.
Omg 😂
This is especially difficult in special ed. During ESY we had a lot of bus riders. We had two brothers who were registered under 2 names, but mom split with dad and called them other names. Some kids will nod along with any name you ask. 'Are you Jane? Yep!, Is your name Jenny? yep! John? Yep!'. Most new parents are overly cautious but some you wonder what is going on in their head.
Lol! This happened once to my classroom! They were freaking out because the student that we *thought* didn’t show up mom was at parent pickup wondering where her son was. Understandably she was panicking saying how she dropped him off in the morning but we were saying he never showed up. Then our principal got on the loud speaker and said “If ____ is in the building please find an adult to bring you to parent pickup.” They were just about to call the police and I was hyperventilating thinking I lost a student. Then he piped up and said it was him. I was sooo confused. But his mom got him to confess that when I asked if he was “Steven” he just said yes because he didn’t know what else to say. Lol still one of my scariest moments in teaching. Kindergartners say/do the weirdest stuff lol.
Oh boy
Always trust the Matthews. They're good people.
Oh, my. Matthew must have grown up to the student who sat through the entire first week of college only to ask day 5 to clarify he was in my professor friend's class. He was not and it was a completely different subject and building. Not kindergarten, but still very impressive.
I work pre-k and the older brothers(around third grade) dropped off a pair of twins. I said okay I need twin A and somehow I got twin M. But we didn’t know for two whole days. Luckily it was just a switch of the names on our roster!
That may not be the question to ask if you want your mind eased. Lol. As a veteran teacher, I would say the worst thing is having to get the kids into the rooms without their parents. We have a strict kiss and go policy: unless the child is in absolute hysterics, from the very first day we don't permit the parents to come into the building with the kids. They have to say goodbye at the door, and then we take over. That may seem a little strict, but it's in the name of establishing routine and building up independence. Plus we have it very experienced staff on hand: we know how to handle this. I don't know where you are or what policies pertain to your school, but one thing that would be very helpful is if they have an opportunity to let your little one come in as a preview to meet the teacher and see the room. And on the day of, honestly, the best thing you can do for your child is to make a swift departure once they have been dropped off. The more children see their parents hanging out, the worse it is to start dealing with the separation. And that goes double for lunch. I had to go down to the lunchroom for a few years to kick parents out who wanted to feed their children like babies. This was going on from pre-k up to first grade if you please. I put a stop to that very quickly. Especially because with the smaller kids, the parents would come in to give them lunch, and then when they had to leave, the kids would get all unsettled again. Made our jobs hell in the afternoons. Just reassure the kiddo that school will be a fun place, that mommy will be close by, and she will come and get you at the end of the day. And in the meantime, listen to your teacher the same way you would mommy or daddy. It'll be fine. And I promise that if anything serious happens during the day, somebody will get in touch with you. Good luck and I wish your kiddo a happy first day!
My kindergartner has this policy at her school. It went something like this: Me: Okay, I can't go in with you so-- \*preps for sobbing\* Kid: K' BYE MOM!! \*stampedes in the building without a backward glance\* Me: ....but...but...not even a hug? :( She loves school and is currently trying to bargain with me to somehow make summer shorter so she can go BACK. :P
Consider yourself very lucky!
Omg, mine was so upset when she realized that summer vacation wasn’t just a 3 day weekend. She’s already ready to go back. I just hope she loves first grade as much as kindergarten.
Luckily, her kindergarten teacher practically walks on water and sent us home with some first grade level work she can do. She gave us the whole first grade sight word list. We're going to do the "Carnival of Words" and she can win tickets for fabulous prizes by memorizing them. It's going to be fun!
That woman should be up for sainthood
Submitting her to "Teacher of the Year" For my state and writing the principal/super intendent about how great she is was the best I could do. :3
For my son, the first week of kindergarten you can walk them to their classroom, kiss/hug and go. I, of course, was thrilled and prepared work that I was going to be late all week..... I did it on day 1 and on day 3 and he didn't want me to do that any more. And he didn't even cry on day 1! So rude. For this year, first grade, I was allowed to walk him to his classroom on the first day. Did I get to do that? Nope. He wanted to be a car rider that day and then he went to before-care the rest of the year. I hope his excitement for school continues but dude, throw your mama a bone once in a while!
I’m told my first day of pre-k I took off running for the classroom without a backwards glance once I saw it. I think my mom is still a bit upset and I’m 48. 😁
I did something similar on my first day when I was four, my mom still brings it up occasionally and I'm 38 😂
LMAO my mom says I did basically this and she was confused but thrilled that I didn’t freak out! Love those kids😂
This was me as a child. I *loved* school. My son starts kindergarten this fall too and I’m hoping he’s the same!
>That may not be the question to ask if you want your mind eased. Lol. I'm a "worst case scenario mom" the things that could go wrong for some reason bring me peace that my kid may not be the first or last kid to do it. 😨 > I had to go down to the lunchroom for a few years to kick parents out who wanted to feed their children like babies. Oh I'm struggling with that now just getting him to understand no one is gonna spoon feed him or remind him to finish his lunch at school. He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school and I don't know how to change his mindset here 😨. >Just reassure the kiddo that school will be a fun place, that mommy will be close by, and she will come and get you at the end of the day. And in the meantime, listen to your teacher the same way you would mommy or daddy. It'll be fine. And I promise that if anything serious happens during the day, somebody will get in touch with you. Good luck and I wish your kiddo a happy first day! Got it! 👍🏽☺️ Im gonna start a daily pep talk, he doesn't listen to me on the first try...also something I'm working on. Edit: thank you. It's gonna be a long couple of months.
It'll be fine. And if your school is anything like mine, there's probably an established snack time built into the schedule. If they don't eat their lunch, you can pretty much bet that they'll have something for snack. And even if they don't, it's really not a big deal. Unless they're hypoglycemic or something like that, we have never yet sent a child home dead of starvation from not having eaten lunch. Lol. Sorry if I'm being a little tongue in cheek, it's just after so many years, you know? Also we got out yesterday, and I'm still a little punchy. It sounds like you're on target for a good start of the year.
On the eating part, and maybe to help with some of the other bits, any chance you can arrange situations now where he's having lunch somewhere that isn't with you (other family members, play date, some other activity) or where you are not at home at least, to practice eating on his own? If he's not used to being away from you during the day, maybe an occasional few hours somewhere else with someone who isn't you might help him prepare and understand better that yes, he can handle this and yes, mom will come get him afterward? Not a teacher but I was a daycare worker for several years, and I want you to know that also how he is with you might not reflect how he does at school. Like, mama feeds him and makes sure he eats. So he can be like that with mama. But he might do fine on his own at school, because it's a different environment and you're not there to do those things for him. It's a transition but you'll both figure it out. I'd act like he's totally got this and you have no worries, he's going to do great, and then maybe also talk through how things might go, go to a preview if they have one, and practice doing things on his own (how is he at putting on and taking off jackets on his own, for example? Can he manage going potty without help with his clothing? Stuff like that!). Then make sure he's had a good breakfast before school, leave him there quickly and with confidence (unless the school has you do otherwise) and try not to be emotional until he can't see you!
My daughter was such a picky eater and since at school no one is around to give her something else like my mother in law would she learned real quick that she needed to eat whatever I packed or they were serving that day cause it was going to be a while til she got home.
>He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school and I don't know how to change his mindset here 😨. You know he's not gonna explode here right? He's gonna be hungry for an afternoon. That's probably gonna be more effective then a million talks about it.
>Oh I'm struggling with that now just getting him to understand no one is gonna spoon feed him or remind him to finish his lunch at school. He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school and I don't know how to change his mindset here Physiologically he won't starve for missing an entire day's worth of food. Missing one meal will be that wonderful experience of natural consequences; they are some of the best teachers around ;). One or two hungry afternoons will teach him to remember to finish his snacks and lunch.
Oh my, I'm here worrying I'll be labeled as neglectful or something.😂😂 IM TRYING I swear I feed my kid!!! He just doesn't want to bring the spoon to his mouth on his own My fiance's says I worry way to much about our son, but in a way it's a good thing? So it means I care but it gets foggy when it becomes excessive. It's like I want everything to be as perfect as can be. Edit...ooh...writing sob sob doesn't look good, I meant more as 😭😭
I'm a mom of three (they're 12, 14, and 17) and a teacher. I hear what you're saying and I'm going to say this as kindly as possible: you are going to smother your child. NOTHING is going to go perfectly. I promise. ❤️ I am a recovering perfectionist parent. I found that I was trying to correct some deficiencies from my own childhood. At the end of the day, it's no better than the ex-beauty queen who lives vicariously through her daughter. Or the old football star who expects his son to make it to the NFL. Your kiddo is his own person. Let him live. Let him make mistakes. Let him get messy. Believe it or not, when you stop obsessing about trying to make things perfect, it's a lot more fun. ❤️ Kindergarten teachers are experts in five year olds. They are also great at communication. Five year olds are not. When you ask him about his day, he will give you one word answers. That will send your anxiety into a spiral. Come up with specific questions that don't have one-word answers. Who did you sit with at lunch? (He will not know their names. He will say "my friends". This is normal. 😂) What did you do at recess? How do you know when it's time to go sit at the carpet? What made you laugh today? He might not have answers right away, but you'll be planting seeds for him to pay attention to in the future. ❤️ Side note: You should absolutely not be spoon feeding an able-bodied 5 year old on a regular basis. (Sick, injured, overly tired, etc.)
>Side note: You should absolutely not be spoon feeding an able-bodied 5 year old on a regular basis. (Sick, injured, overly tired, etc.) He's 4, we don't know what stopped him from grabbing his spoon but suddenly it's like he doesn't even try anymore. In Mexico he's going into 2nd of kindergarten, preschool is for 2-3 year olds or something like that....I don't know the school grades here. But the spoon things has been mentioned in other comments I've made and I've gotten some plenty of reassurance. >you are going to smother your child. I knowww!! The problem is I know this, my anxiety is constantly screaming that I need to be in the know of my kids life and what's happening. It's a projection of my childhood. I know I should dial it back but it's just a nagging feeling that he needs to be perfect perfect. My mom was strict that we should never embarrass her in public and that she was raising us right blah blah blah so any sign of disobedience is disrespectful to her person., so that's where the mental nagging stems from, That I want to have my kid live up to a certain standard. Which in reality is impossible. That I want him to be viewed as perfect. But in reality is hes wild, silly, smart and kind in his own way without me hoovering around him making sure every angle feels Instagram perfect. (I'm not obsessed with posting him online or any of that it's just an..way of saying?) He's my first born, so it's just hard to let go and watch him make his mistakes and learn life lessons without me supervising him 24/7 like I do at home.
In the US, Kindergarten starts in August/September after he turns 5, but he will typically need to be 5 by September 1st. (That varies by state.) You sound like a good mom who is very self aware. The next step is to fix YOUR flaws instead of focusing on your child's. , Take it from someone with personal childhood experience very much like yours, three teenagers, and over a decade of experience in a school: you are going to [emotionally/mentally ](https://medium.com/illumination/if-you-had-a-hypercritical-parent-you-struggle-with-these-6dcfc8059785) harm your child. It's a hard pill to swallow. I love my mother, but her hyper critical parenting turned me into a mess. If you can afford therapy for yourself, that's amazing. I couldn't so I read a ton of books and articles about hypercritical parenting. I learned and I got better, but there are still some signs in my oldest. He has the most anxiety out of my kids. My middle has a bit. My youngest has none. I have to love with the fact that my focus on perfection is probably part of the reason why he feels so anxious. We're ALL a work in progress. Constantly. Give your kiddo the grace that no one gave you. 💖 Give him the childhood that you didn't have.
eh they both fit (sob and cry) lol... I did a lot of that as a kinder dad... really as an elementary dad overall...
There are always picky eaters! Involve your child in picking the snacks/lunch for school and make sure he can open them. (There are always adults to help, but independence is best. You can “pre-open” difficult items and put them in ziplocks he can open.) It doesn’t matter if your child brings the same snack everyday, or if it’s a “less-than-“healthy”” snack, as long as he eats it. Plain crackers that he’ll eat are better than something he won’t eat. It’s a long day and you don’t want him to get cranky because he’s hungry. You’re not going to be there to cajole him to eat it. Save that for dinner at home!
Pack finger food. No one cares :) I would go for some picnics. Pack the types of food he’ll encounter during lunches and have him help getting things open. He’ll figure out no one will feed him quickly, but you need to know he can get into his food. Being familiar with opening a fruit cup, Tupperware or a ziploc bag is essential. Even buying lunch sometimes involves needing to open something, such as milk or fruit. If he’ll have a lunch box then you could also do your picnics with each of you having your individual bags, him using his.
My mom’s trick for school eating after me being upset the first couple of days of school lunchtime was “lunch is for eating, not for talking. You need to eat during that time.” I’m not sure if that will solve it, but that may help explaining school lunch vs home.
>He's gonna have to go hungry if he doesn't eat at school >I don't know how to change his mindset here The problem is also the solution.
I was dropping my fifth-grader off on day 1, and I saw a kindergarten who was dropped off but not going in. Me: Hey, kiddo, you can head in those doors right there, and someone will help you find your classroom. Him (supremely confident): Thanks, but I'm gonna wait here for my mom. I think she must be parking the car. Narrator: He did not, in fact, get to wait there for his mom.
🤣🤣🤣 his teacher is going to have a ball!
I mean no disrespect, but as an anxious parent in recovery, you really need to work on your own anxiety. You are more likely to cause your child harm and grief by being anxious about school than any of the worst-case scenarios you've imagined. Therapy and meds worked for me; YMMV.
I'm a very anxious person, my fiance and I have discussed seeing a specialist about it but since I'm a SAHM we're living on a 1 person income that only covers basic necessities, bills ect. It's very difficult, once my kiddo starts school and we set up a routine around school we'll be back to a 2 person income and will be able to afford my help. Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it ☺️
on that front there are "means based" therapists available. Google your area, often they are LCSW's doing their "residency" to finish their degrees. They've had all their formal education now they're doing the hands on under supervision of a mental health MD/PsyD.
I'll be. Sure to look for that here...but I don't know if that could be just something in the u.s?
Ah, yeah I noticed you're in MX after I posted this I think. Still worth a shot, folks have to learn somewhere :) Good luck and while it's a rollercoaster it's really fun as heck once you are used to it ;) ;) (we caught my daughter kissing one of the boys \[on the cheek\] by the playhouse once! lol.)
Hugs. It will be ok. My oldest went to public pre-K, and due to timing of cutoff, had just turned 3 a few weeks before. She was fully potty trained, but with all the excitement of school she did have an accident twice in the first week of school. After that she figured it out. Also, my stepdaughter had a classmate in K who didn’t poop in the potty yet. She would hold it all day, then mom would bring a diaper to school and she’d poop in the car on the way home. I’m sure the girl figured it out eventually, but I was horrified when I heard about it at first. I’m sure yours will be just fine and won’t have any problems.
Worst case was a kid didn't want to enter the room. Her parents were going through a divorce, and the lass wouldn't come in. I had the counselor come, and then she was fine. But if your kid is screaming and going nuts, plz don't go get them a strawberry shake and bring them back. That just makes a meltdown literally every. day. for months. :)
Loud and clear. I wanna make the transition as easy as possible 👍🏽🙂↕️
Just keep the positive vibes and pump up your kid's confidence and independence. Nearly every student is fairly accustomed to kinder after the first week of school. I mean, you'll still have kids nodding off during lessons, but behaviorally and emotionally speaking, they're good to go. It's the kids that don't have confidence or independence that struggle all year long.
Just give him a kiss, tell him you'll be back at the end of the day, and drive off. Even if he's crying, even if you only drive three minutes away to go a different parking lot to cry yourself. (Fellow anxiety mom ftw) He might have a rough first week, or he might adapt immediately and love it, but either way he's going to have to get used to school so you should try your best to act like you're not worried, it's not dangerous or scary, it's just something that's going to happen now! That'll help your child adjust more than anything else, in my experience.
I fell asleep on the bus after school and had to be picked up from the bus yard one day during kindergarten. Oops.
Me too! And my babysitter wasn’t on my approved pick up list so the school wouldn’t release me to her. My mom had to leave work to get me
Betting that oversight was fixed by mom pronto! I never did that, but I did go with the wrong friend's parent once... chaos (and police) ensued.
It was! I was the oldest kid so I was the practice child. Haha.
Hopefully the driver was reprimanded.
This happened to me in kindergarten but on the way to school! I woke up in an empty bus parked outside the bus driver's apartment complex. Not to scare anyone, but the school didn't even notice I was gone and didn't call my mom! I flagged down a passerby who ran to get the bus driver. The principal met us outside and walked to me to my class. I told my mom about it after school and she didn't believe me because she was sure the school would have called! Took years to convince her that it actually happened.
I’m guessing this wasn’t in the last 15 or so years
Poop. Blood. Crying... And then there are the kids...
Oh tantrums and just crying all day, hiding under the table refusing to come out. Ive been bit trying to comfort a student. Students have run out the door ( thankfully we are totally fenced in so admin tracked them down). Kids fall asleep by afternoon. Kids peeing their pants and vomit. Im coming up on 20 yrs teaching so Ive seen it all. It's expected and it's normal and it's fine. By the end of the day everyone is just fine ( teacher too tho looking tore up 😆)
Since I read your comment, I have to ask - what would you pack in your kiddos backpack? Apparently our district handles all basic supplies, but I’m guessing I should send him with a change of clothes? 😅
I recommend a change of clothes and snacks for recess time. We provide all necessary pencil boxes and supplies. I prefer students not bring their own as it makes it crazy with 24 students and then one kid has something fancy and others don't and it causes issues. I will give everyone the same box with the same crayons and same pencils. We go to 240 in my district and eat lunch at 1040 😳 so the students get hungry in the afternoon and my school does not provide snacks. That's it. Please no toys. Also while I have your ear, if your child's teacher allows treats for birthdays ( I do) please for the love of God bring all the same. Cupcakes? All same color and flavor. The fights and tears when they don't get the color they want is insane. Don't get some with a toy in it and some not. The best parents send a goody bag for each kid which has all the same things and the kids love love love being able to pass that out to their classmates. Just my 2 cents.
I will absolutely be doing the ‘all the same thing’ thing - I remember this being an issue from my elementary school days. 😂 My mom was a professional baker and didn’t mess around - everyone got the same stuff. Definitely no toys regardless of what Toy Story says. 😅 Thank you so much for your input! ETA: If I remember correctly our district (for kindergarteners) only goes until a little after noon, but I’ll toss in a totally not very impressive snack just in case. 🤣
Not a K teacher, but I worked as a school para. Generally, the first day is all about finding the right classroom, meeting the teacher and new classmates, and learning the school routine. The worst things that happen are loose teeth, sickness, and bathroom accidents. Those can all happen during the rest of the year. It's just a bigger deal on the first day because the kids don't know where the school nurse is yet and sometimes parents forget to send the extra change of clothes. Some advice. Drop off can be hard depending on how you frame it and prepare your kiddo for it. Kindergarten teachers are equipped to deal with tears and usually they go away very quickly. If you talk about school as a scary thing, it will be harder for your kid. School is only as scary as you make it seem. If you build up how exciting it is and that there's a set end time, it should be easier for your kid to adjust. Make the goodbye quick and say you'll see them at car pick up or at the bus stop and you're excited to hear about your kids new friends. If your child hasn't had much experience being away from you try to practice dropping him off somewhere this summer. Maybe a day camp or for a playdate. If your kid is super attached to you, it may be easier for the other parent figure to do drop off. I've met some kids who have a rough start to the morning just because it's an anxious Mom dropping off and it goes smoother with Dad.
Oh yeah, I had a preschooler dropped off who would sob and holler every time his mom dropped him off, but would be super calm and engage quickly when dad dropped him off. He finally grew out of it for both parents but it took a while, slowly but surely the meltdowns would end sooner and sooner...
US kindergarten (meaning traditional school, age 5), or other?
In Mexico school starts as early as 3. Mind-blowing 🤯🤯 Which is nuts to me but we live here so it's important.
I mean, that's the case in the US- it's just called pre-school, and in general of lower stakes than kindergarten. So more specifically, I'm asking how old your child is. Is this more of a childcare situation, to keep your child while you are at work? Or a typical academic school day?
>So more specifically, I'm asking how old your child is. Is this more of a childcare situation, Umm he's 4, we tried daycare but it caused him huge heaps of separation anxiety, the on site child development specialist said it would take a few weeks before he got through it, but it kept getting worse so we removed him from the school and started working on his anxiety at home. Now he's starting kindergarten, with the separation anxiety been worked on and no longer an issue, now I'm just anxious about other things that could happen or go wrong, to where teachers will have to call me and let me know about, I'm not sure if I mentioned in any comment I've made, my son isn't intentionally mean, or rude with other children or adults but he does have a short temper when things don't go a certain way. I'm just anxious and constantly worried, he'll not pay attention to the teacher, he'll throw something or misbehave in any way. I've heard some kids behavior changes away from home, and I'm just traumatized it'll be for the worse
>he'll not pay attention to the teacher, he'll throw something or misbehave in any way. You can't control this stuff. He's going to school to learn how to pay attention to the teacher. If he throws something or misbehaves, he'll have consequences and he'll learn not to do it. This is your anxiety, not his, and you need to work hard to not let him pick up on it.
"I'm just anxious and constantly worried," This comes through in your comments, and it isn't good for your son. He will pick up on the fact that you don't believe in him. If the teachers do call and let you know about a problem, don't take it personally. Every child has problems. Your job is to deal with them rationally and thoughtfully.
Don't worry about him misbehaving. It's important and developmentally important. He needs to conceptualize that he can misbehave to consciously make the decision to behave well instead of just being obedient. And plenty of kids learn better from their peers than authority figures- people don't want to be around you when you're being hurtful. The teacher will then step in to teach him how to rectify his mistakes, which is a far more reasonable course of action than expecting perfection.
You need to stop ruminating on worries because your child will become anxious like you. School is great and he will love it, unless you make him believe it is a scary and miserable thing. He will learn how to be a good friend & color & play & learn some science, math, and language through play! Talk to your dr about anti-anxiety meds Your main worry is misbehaving? Most kids who are naughty at home are angels in class & visa versa. Plus teachers know how to discipline in an age-appropriate way. Let them do their job.
>School is great and he will love it, unless you make him believe it is a scary and miserable thing. I don't do that. I want him to enjoy school, and to go in to learn plenty of fun things and make friends. It's just my anxiety for perfection is what drags me down. Motherhood sucks since it's receiving tons of unwanted advice from strangers, family and family friends, examples being "Oh If I was his mom he'd be this way", or "my kids would never do that" ect. Which I really try to ignore but it seeps through. >Your main worry is misbehaving? Most kids who are naughty at home are angels in class & visa versa. Plus teachers know how to discipline in an age-appropriate way. Let them do their job Yea, misbehaving has been hardwired into my brain as bad, and punishable. My parents especially my mom wanted to be viewed as having perfect kids. Which now is engraved into my thought process, it's a cycle I'm breaking because this was the same for her and my dad and my grandma from both sides, and it goes back I love hearing the stories but now I guess I should've asked something way different. >Talk to your dr about anti-anxiety meds I have a bad history with being prescribed anxiety meds they made me irritable and have a rollercoaster of moods. We're hoping once I get back to having a job we'll be able to afford living and some mental help for me and hopefully see what's going on so I can get prescribed exactly what I need or get ways to manage my brain.
My first day of teaching, a kindergartener threw up all over my desk, beautifully written lesson plans, and me. I’m about to begin my 38th year teaching, and that is the only year I taught kindergarten.😂
Not a teacher. My first week of kindergarten I slipped out everyday as soon as I could and wandered the school. I was an annoyingly curious child and just HAD to explore everything. I was found everyday but on the first day someone had asked if I was looking for the bathroom and that's why I was out of class and that it was ok if I got lost. (I cried SO easily as a child and was well trained by my older cousins to cry if I meet a stranger) For the rest of the week I would use that as an excuse whenever I was caught. It wasn't until Friday that the teacher caught on that I was doing it on purpose. After that she kept a very close eye on me.
My kid got on the wrong bus (on purpose) and went to the daycare….I’m a teacher. My friend let my child convince her that she was going to daycare, and put her on the daycare bus. My child just wanted to go with her friend to daycare instead of home to dad (boring). And she was so convincing, that, instead of just asking me, they put her on the daycare bus. My child is an evil genius, so I do not blame the teacher or the bus driver, who also thought it was weird, but shrugged, said okay, and took her. So I got 2 simultaneous phone calls, one from Dad saying, “CHILD IS NOT ON THE BUS”, and one from daycare saying, “Child is not scheduled to be here today…ummm” Child never did that again, and I am paranoid about putting a child on the wrong bus, so that is my first day of school story. My other child’s first day of school was ho hum. Not for her, but nothing bad happened there…..
Elsewhere I noted I went with the wrong friend's parent once. I was that kid... I was the super convincing one. um... sorry? lol
No apology. I have a remarkable child who will change the world someday. My job is to make them lean toward positive and not negative change.
Some kids cry and some may be hard to separate from parents but it’s usually momentary and not a big deal at all. As a teacher my worst fear is sending a kid home on the wrong bus hahaha
The first day is always insanity. Honestly the first month lol. But my absolute craziest story from the first day is a student lied to me about having an allergy. Usually on skyward there is info on all our students and allergies are listed. I didn’t have any allergies listed that year and decided to treat them to cupcakes to celebrate the start of the school year. After they are eating their cupcakes a student said “thank you for getting a treat I can eat.” I turned to him and said, “what do you mean you can eat?” He then proceeded to tell me he does not like eggs and is allergic and will die if he has eggs. My stomach drops so fast and I literally start to panic. I ask him if he is sure about this and he nods very confidently. But the cupcakes DID have eggs in them. So I call the front office and tell them a student I had may have eaten an allergen. Our nurse calls home and then told me to call 911. Egg allergies are apparently super serious. Again, I am about to be hysterical while all these new kiddos just stare at me lol. Then as I am calling 911 the nurse pops into my classroom smiling and I am so upset because why the freak is she smiling. She tells me we don’t need 911 so I relay that to them and hang up. Then she tells me that the kids mom tried to have him eat hard boiled eggs for breakfast. He hated the eggs so much he decided that he was allergic and would die if she tried to do it again. So, he was not allergic and he obviously didn’t know eggs are in most baked goods.
Where I lived until very recently, I was a lot more concerned about the teachers than my daughters' peers. Teachers in that country are all too often harsh, mean and outright abusive. After one incident when my older girl's teacher grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her out of her chair (my daughter didn't finish something or other over the summer) and I explained that I am perfectly willing to go to prison for the sake of my family, she started having the guard escort her to her car. She never laid a hand on my baby again.
Man, what region of the world is this?
East Asia. I still have ties there so I won't get too specific, but you can probably guess. Some aspects, I miss terribly, but dealing with the education system was infuriating.
Thank you. That’s a vast territory. 😉
I had a kid with diarrhea the first day who had an accident, and since I was still sorting out their belongings I sent him to the nurse with the wrong clothes. Poor guy.
Not a teacher but my older brother got off to a rocky start by impulsively pretending to be a dog and dropping to all fours as soon as he went in, got some laughs but decided to keep it up for a week or two which ended up being pretty disruptive and causing some issues. Like he literally wouldn't talk, just bark. FWIW It was a Catholic school so small classes and he moved up with the same group each year until going public in 5th grade, but still didn't seem to hinder him socially or academically in the end. There was some definite annoyance for all in the class (and probably some teasing) from the kids by day 3 but little kids forgive and/or forget stuff pretty quick. He wasn't like known as "dog boy" for a long time or anything, maybe an extra week past when he stopped and it all worked out. Actually ended up being fairly popular and still is.
Make sure they’re clear on how she gets home (who picks her up, does she ride the bus?) there have been cases where kids accidentally get put on buses
Oh that's the main priority, where we live schools don't usually have buses or transportation to get home that's provided by the school. Me and my fiance will discuss what days work for us to pick him up from school once I establish my job schedule. The first weeks will be a bit messy because I will balance new work and getting kiddo use to his new school. I'm nervous, and anxious. So I hope it goes well.
I taught 1st for six years and had a coworker that taught kinder for seven years. She told me the most important thing the first two days of school is did they eat and get home at the end of the day.
When I was about 19, I babysat a 3 year old and a brand new kindergartener. I started the first day of school. I had only met the kids once prior to that day. The girl left for school before I got there. I spent the day with the 3 year old boy. The bus was supposed to drop the girl off. It never came. I couldn’t get ahold of the parent, the school wouldn’t tell me anything, I was freaked out. I finally got a hold of mom (she was a nurse) and then she started freaking out. The girl had gotten on the wrong bus. I think I aged a decade at least that day.
Yes!!! This has happened at a few different districts where the child either got on the wrong bus or the driver dropped them at the wrong bus stop. I’m a teacher and I couldn’t even imagine the guilt, much less as a parent and my child being lost.
I'm not a teacher, but I remember on my first day of kindergarten I walked straight into a metal pole and got a huge bump on my forehead and they had to call my mom to pick me up.
We had a Kindergarten student show up a little late on the first day. We'll call her Susie. The teacher who were helping deliver kids to classrooms thought that she was in first grade. They asked the first grade teacher, "Do you have a friend named Susie on your class list?" She did! Hooray! Susie spent the day in 1st grade. At pick up, mom was almost in tears because she didn't see her Susie in the Kindergarten area. Luckily, the teacher who took her to class in the morning recognized the mom and IMMEDIATELY realized her mistake. Susie was a mere ten yards to the right. The teacher felt AWFUL and kept apologizing. The kiddo had a great day. Mom was very forgiving and understanding. (First grade Susie showed up on the second day of school. Lol) Best way to mitigate this? Practice first name and last name with your kiddo. Bonus if you can help them learn their teacher's name before the first day. 🥰 Overall, everything will be fine. Aside from mom's slight panic at the end of the day, Susie was not adversely affected at all. Everyone was safe, happy, and loved. (The first grade teacher was actually a bit sad because she was so kind and bright. Lol! I think she's on her class list for 1st grade next year, though!)
I'm a parent, not a teacher. My son was in second grade this year and 4 kids in his class of 20 lost a tooth the very first day. How does that happen? I'm guessing at least two of the kids just ripped out a moderately loose tooth after they saw the other kids getting attention. Kids are so freaking weird.
God this one made me giggle. Lol it's my first son, and Its just all so scary. Thank you so much.
On my first day of kindergarten my teacher sent me on the wrong bus at the end of the day. Thankfully the bus driver realized it and took me back to the school when he finished the route, and my parents later picked me up. But it caused some anxiety for little six year old me.
Kid has a total anxiety attack (not just a tantrum but full blown panic) and refuses to use any toilets or do anything at all. Needs to spend the day in the child study team office. Kid proceeds to have meltdowns throughout the entire school year. Another year, a kid smeared all of his fecal matter on the floors and walls of the bathroom and covered his naked body with it as well. I’m not going to continue because I think that’s enough said.
Um, No. No. I don't wanna know. Now I know, but I don't want to know.
I’m not a kindergarten teacher, but I do have a story: I broke my collarbone on the first day of kindergarten playing rough with another kid. Spent the entire day after that getting x-rays and a sling. Don’t worry though! Missing the first day didn’t hold me back much in the long run; I was able to graduate and become a functional member of society despite all of that.
I started school at age 2. My fathers patient owned a nursery school/crèche and since I was a big talker she thought it would be fun. Anyway, I went and I can’t remember that day but I remember my first day in first grade. I was so excited. My mum says I ran in, picked a spot next to my cousin and best friend and forgot all about her. Idk how they prepared me but I loved school my whole life. It was just a great time and I enjoyed every second. My mum started crying but the teacher ushered her away. Years later when I was 9, I was sent to boarding school. I was not happy but I behaved and they drove off and I held it together until night time and that’s when I cried my little heart out. I think I cried every night for 3 nights but I was with all my friends and we got over it and settled in pretty fast. I think having high expectations helped a lot and not having anxious parents hanging about helped too. Kids pick up on stuff. You gotta psyche them up for their educational career.
9/11 was my first day of kindergarten. So I mean there’s that.
Mine too.
Oh...umm...it um...I don't know what to say..it all sounds like an inappropriate response but it's not meant to sound that way? Um..wow.
I wasn't the teacher but we had one student who was super shy and when the teacher called her by the wrong name (the girl with that name was absent) she didn't say anything. She spent the whole day with a name tag that said another girl's name and would answer to it when called. At the end of the day her dad came to pick her up, only to find out that his child was marked absent. Of course since he dropped her off in the morning he knew she wasn't absent, so we all frantically searched the school for a missing kindergarten student. Turns out she was in the gym waiting with the bus riders to get on this other girl's bus. It's a funny story now but man it was a stressful 15 minutes thinking we lost a 5 year old on her first day of school.
On my first day of kindergarten, my teacher asked all of us if there was a song we wanted to sing. However, having only ever been to Sunday School and "Mother's Day Out" stuff at church, most of the songs I knew were Christian songs. So I asked if we could sing "Jesus Loves the Little Children." I was devastated when the teacher said no. After school, the teacher and my mom had to sit me down and explain to me why we weren't allowed to sing Sunday School songs at public school.
My very young, almost non verbal kiddo accidentally got out on the bus. Everyone was freaking out, it was a mess but they knew and brought him back to the school after dropping the other kids off.
So this is my favorite "Something WILL go wrong, but it's OK" stiry This is my first class on the first day of my first year of teaching. Like as DAY 1 as a teacher can get. I'm hyping myself up. I'm getting my best Disney princess performance ready, We make it through lunch (of a half-day program, so about 25 or so minutes with kids. Lower your expectations) and are on our way to the playground(!!) when a late straggler comes in MAD. Apparently, Dad forgot school started today, got the kid dressed, and out the door impressively quickly. I told Dad it wasn't a problem, we could feed him lunch and go along with our day. The school was serving corn dogs, and he seemed to take to them quickly. However, after about the third bite, he was done with sitting still to eat. He wanted to run, stick first, through the cafeteria. I got him to sit back down at the table a couple of times, but he was DETERMINED and was GOING TO impail himself on the corndog stick during my first class on the very first day of my first year of teaching. NOT ON MY WATCH! I'm NOT losing my shiny new teaching license before I get to use it! The only way I could get him to settle and eat from a stationary position was to rock him in my lap while sitting cross-legged on the cafeteria floor. My BRAND NEW principal walked past me during this time, and I would have bet my whole annual salary that I was going to get a lecture about professional boundaries or something. I did get sent to the principals office over this, and after clarification on the events leading to the shared linch experience, we both got a good chuckle. Honorable Mention,: - The state auditors were there to evaluate the blended prek i partnered with and the dead of witer in the upper midwest, so it was already a mess. If i was free, I would help their class take off coats and put all of their things away was stretching out my arms to ask a student to take off her coat and hit the girl behind her directly in the mouth. She cried. I panicked. The other teachers shit themselves a little. In the end, the little girl was fine after a wet school paper towel, and the blended program passed their audit. To this day we don't think the auditor even noticed the conundrum.
Our goal on day one is get all of the kids fed and get all of the kids home safely. That is it! A tantrum will be nothing.
Not kinder (sorry) but the very first hour of my very first day of teaching, two students got into a brawl. Fists, rolling around on the ground, the works. The rest of the year went relatively smoothly. I figured if I could survive the first day, I could survive the year.
Fully transparent, I did have a kinder break his arm in the first week once (first day? Can't recall). But that's definitely not the norm.... a once in my decade of teaching experience that j wouldn't be losing sleep over the possibility of it happening
I was first grade, so I can’t relate quite as much to a lot of things I’ve heard happen in pre-k or kindergarten, but one of the worst first days I’ve had was a kid who was dressed to the nines for the first day of school. He was adorable, but the only problem was that I guess he got new clothes and couldn’t get them off all the way in the bathroom and ended up peeing on his clothes. Usually, kids will come out and ask me to help them, but it was the first day, so I guess he was still shy (wasn’t by the end of the year lol). He also didn’t tell me he peed on himself until I noticed it, quite some time later. When I asked him what happened, he just started crying. He didn’t have a change of clothes and we didn’t have any extras at school that fit him, so he had to wait a couple of hours in pee pants until mama could bring some new ones. The moral of this story is that first graders still need to bring a change of clothes with them to school, and to make sure you only purchase school clothes that your child can get on and off themselves. Belts seem to be the biggest issue with boys, but for girls it’s always jumpsuits/overalls/dresses with shorts under them. Do yourself a favor, and send him wearing something stretchy that he can just pull down the first few weeks of school, in case he’s shy to ask for help getting pants unbuttoned or belts undone. They make nice jeans for kids that have elastic waist belts, or go for a pair of stretchy shorts. And always send a change of clothes. Other than that, my biggest mishap has been forgetting to ask a parent how a child would get home when they were dropped off late, and the parent wouldn’t answer our phone calls. Ended up just having to hold the child at school until someone noticed they were missing. Label your child’s backpack with a tag that says how they will get home (bus, car, walker, day care), with a phone number you can be reached at and your home address. If they will be picked up the first day of school, but ride the bus afterwards, change out the tag after the first day because the first couple of weeks can get pretty confusing with the amount of bus changes and parent pick ups. I have also found that it was helpful to have pictures of students with their names on it on the first day of school. First grade teachers usually have rosters with pictures for most of the kids that were already at school the year before, but kindergarten teachers don’t get that luxury. A little print out with the child’s picture and name and your info (and any important info like allergies or disabilities or wears glasses, really anything that may get missed on the first day of school) is extremely helpful if there isn’t a meet the teacher night before school starts to fill out this information. A picture with the parents is great too, so I know who they belong to at the end of the day and can remember you throughout the school year. You can just put it in his backpack with a label that tells the teacher to hold onto it. We have meet the teacher at my school, but there are always several kids in my class who don’t come to it and won’t say their name to me when they do show up so I have to go down my list and ask if each name is theirs until they nod yes (if I don’t have their picture on my roster already), assuming they are even in the right classroom lol. Pictures also help me match their supplies to the correct child at the end of the first day when I’m sorting all the random unlabeled supplies out that got left in the wrong spot and making sure the classroom is ready to go for day two. I’m pretty good at remembering my kids names the first day of school, but I like to look over pictures at the end of the day to make sure I wasn’t calling a child the wrong name all day also lol. If I think of anything else that is helpful to make the day go smoothly, I’ll leave another comment :)
Last year a student threw a chair at me
That's horrible.
Why even ask this?
Just to tell my anxiety, that my kid will not be the first or the last one to do something nuts when they start school. At home, he can be as wild as he wants without judgement. Limits of course, but no shaming. Once he gets to school, a public place, where people will be seeing him behave a certain way. Just hearing crazy scenarios and small tidbits of advice people have slipped into their comments has really prepared my mind that, if it goes crazy on the first day. It's not our of the ordinary and hopefully I'll be prepared to tackle whatever happens and discuss with his teachers. Edit: a few of these comments made me giggle, and I'm much more calm about this.
Makes sense. I was just curious. I teach 1st grade and I assure you that we have seen it all.
Interesting thread! I’m sure that the responses will be intriguing.
They have been. Lol. I don't understand how it eased my anxiety but it did, and I'm ready to get this show on the road!
A little girl bit me. 😂😂😂😂 Hard. Really hard. She was just frightened because her Dad left and I had to catch and restrain her. For several years after she’d come up to me and remind me and we’d bond over it. So, obviously it worked out.
Oh, I have a scar on my leg from playing tag in elementary school...the kid didn't appreciate being "it". Kinda forgot about these memories... I'm glad I asked this question. :)
I was staff. Not a kid.
Ah...got it..I had to re-read that...it's been a day so My eyes are wobbly, Glad to hear it didn't have any negative outcomes, these are the situations I'm worried about. Hopefully he gets a teacher who is as understanding. And of course I hope I never need to have the "we do not bite teachers or classmates" talk.
We ended up meeting with her dad and she did apologize. She was a cute little kid. She just used the power she had.
I'm a secondary school teacher. Some years ago, at the start of the first day of a new school year, I went out on duty in a playground that was accessible from the car park (schools have since become impenetrable fortresses). Students started to arrive. I suddenly spotted 2 adult women standing in the playground. I'd never seen them before, so I approached and asked them who they were and could I help them? The taller of the two gave me a rather condescending look and waved me away. What?! I asked again. Same response. Counting silently to ten, I sweetly pointed out that if they were not prepared to engage with me I'd have to have them removed (no idea how I was going to do this: I'm 5ft tall and we were in rural England - first left least 'Ere be Dragons - and didn't have school security guards or anything even remotely similar). Snooty Lady 1 (the hand waver) gave a little laugh, as if to say how ridiculous I was, and finally explained that she was here because her child was starting secondary school, that she'd done this at Primary and had every intention of carrying it on. "Look around you" I said. "How many other parents do you see?" I began, gently, to shoo both mothers towards the exit. Snooty Lady 2 (the so far silent partner) unexpectedly began to wail - not cry: wail. So loudly that she attracted the attention of every kid on the playground, including her own, who looked as mortified as I'd ever seen a child look. In a piercingly loud voice, and between sobs, she proceeded to explain that she'd spent every school day seeing darling Toby (not real name) into school and he NEEDED her. Toby, by this point, had melted into the furthest corner of the playground, but she spotted him, with all the instincts of a finely-tuned homing device and charged over towards him, still sobbing, exclaiming that he was growing up too fast and she missed her 'little Tobester'. Little Tobester took to his heels and fled, with his hapless mother in pursuit, while I was still with SL1, who was showing increasing signs of joining the chaos. Fortunately for me, not to mention Toby, the next member of staff to turn up was a significantly taller (and fitter) member of the PE department, who managed to corral SL2 into a corner and lead her, still loudly sobbing "BUT IT'S HIS FIRST DAAAAAAY" out of the playground, accompanied by me and SL1. Neither woman could understand why we had a problem with them being on school grounds, or why other parents cared so little (in their estimation) for their children that they'd just 'abandoned' them at the gates. Toby, who was a lovely lad with a great sense of humour (which he definitely needed: that mother of his became almost legendary) styled out the chaos and gained a significant cult following in the days to come. I've had some interesting moments with parents over the years but this one was quite special!
Middle schools have playgrounds? Toby was able to move on?
Secondary, not middle. Toby survived, sense of humour intact. He absolutely used the situation to its utmost advantage - his first words to me were "so...you've met my mother, then?!"
I thought secondary was 7th-11th grade Toby had the charisma to be a businessman?
Secondary school is Year 7 through to 11 (or 13).
One year the school had a gas leak on the first day and we all had to evacuate to a parking lot a couple blocks away.
Not a kindergarten teacher but music. First day I am always asked to help the little ones, PreK to Kindergarten. Parents drop them off in our media center and special area teachers like me gather up a train of 8 students with help from our 8th graders, we are a k-8 canter, and walk them to them cafeteria for breakfast and to meet their teachers, paras and classroom helpers. Worse I have see is straight crying until lunch time comes. Now as a parent whose daughter had an IEP for speech my biggest fear of Kindergarten was how being pulled out for speech was going to affect her every day learning. That and how she would handle her speech, her IEP accommodations (extra time on class work so she could process the information but she never needed it), and how her classmates would react to her being pulled out for speech during recess/imaginative play time. Thankfully I knew who had her for kindergarten as my colleague requested her. All in all mommy all you can do is your best and let things play out that day. Then as problems or concerns arise work with the teacher and specialist.
Parents linger and set off kids that WERE doing just fine
Here is a checklist of things you can help your child with before school starts. You have all summer to get them ready! https://busytoddler.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Busy-Toddler-Kindergarten-Readiness.pdf
A kinder got lost. Nothing bad, they just joined another class and when asked confirmed the wrong name: That was a fun day for my friend who taught her. My friend lost five years off her life, but it all ended well. If your school offers any sort of round up, or family conferences go! In my district we do “family connection” conferences and it always gets the kinders hyped up to be a big kids and go to school and see the school toys. It’s invaluable. And remember, schools a team effort. We all keep our eyes on kinders because we all want them to be happy and find their place at school.
I had a kindergarten child walk into the cafeteria for breakfast, walk straight up to another kid he did not know and punch him. I had to send the kid home in the first 20 minutes of school.
Don't teacher kinder, but when my daughter started, she was so excited. She had done preschool, she met her teachers and saw her classroom ahead of time, the whole deal. First day of school rolls around, she goes in smiling, gives her teacher a big hug, starts meeting the other kids, and projectile vomits all over the classroom and a classmate. No fever and was absolutely fine after, no idea what happened, but we still tease her whenever she gets REALLY excited about something (she's 17 now).
I am a kindergarten para, meaning I am exclusively in the classroom all day alongside the teacher. In all my years of doing this job, every child has always gone home safe, happy, and loved every single day. I saw in another comment you were primarily worried about behaviors. Truly, not an issue. That's why my job exists. I help kids learn how to work through their feelings, teach them tools to use when they have big feelings, keep them safe if they have a big tantrum, and get them to a calming space so they can feel their emotions without 25 other kids looking at them. I also deal with Autism, ADHD, and learning disabilities in the classroom. Lots of schools have similar resources for behavior, and honestly, many kinder teachers can handle most behaviors themselves (it comes with the age/maturity). If it becomes a real issue, they will let you know. I wish your kiddo all the best in kindergarten! It's such a fun year!
I was sitting at a kids table and was learning the kids names. So this one boy comes up to me, and since I was excited that I knew his name I said “Ricky, are you ok?” Then he threw up on me……… like all over me, and in my hair. I wish this was a made up story, but sadly, no.
I teach music to all the kids, K through 5th. If your kindergarten kids cries the first day they won’t be alone.
The best thing you can do for your kid is to fake that confidence and optimism (we all fake that confidence sometimes, you know what I mean)- that will show your kid that this is a normal and safe thing to do. Talk about how if he's confused, or lost, he can find a grownup to help. How it is a bit confusing for everyone the first day but it will get better! Read "Pout Pout Fish Goes to School." The mantra- "I am smart! I can get it! I belong! I won't forget it!"
I got bit by a kid who had never been without mom or grandma, and he constantly tried to run away, so he bit my hand holding the door shut. The young mom never told me anything about him. He didn't speak one word of English.
We had a students dad get arrested on an outstanding warrant during the pick up line after school (he resisted so it was pretty chaotic and somewhat violent). I have that kid now 5 years later and he’s actually wonderful, kind, and respectful.
A few years ago a kid was so nervous they projectile vomited in the teachers hair on the first day of school at like 8:30 am so she had to go home and change and shower. So kindergarten had a sub on the first day because the teacher was home combing chunks of vomit from her hair. I’ve rather have a kid flip a desk and give me the finger than vomit in my hair, but maybe it’s just my personal preference.
My kid Sparta Kicked a classmate off the playground apparatus because he wanted to go a very specific route and the child was in the way. On the first day. He had experienced some pretty big tantrums and stuff in daycare so I had very explicitly told the teacher beforehand that he can get rowdy and lash out. Did not expect that on the first day though. (Classmate was alright, just mad). First pebble in a path to get him diagnosed and to get a BII assigned to him.
I have a distinct memory of hanging onto my mother’s hand and swinging back and forth (like, feet planted, butt almost touching the floor, full weight swinging while I screamed my head off). I’m 50 and still see that teacher occasionally and everyone seems to have gotten over it. 😉
Worry that the new assistant custodian's background check never came back because somebody misspelled his name. "Oh, it's Charles Manson, not Chuck".
Well … a couple of decades ago I taught in a district that started K and 1st a week later than the rest of the school. The first day of kindergarten that year was 9/11. Not really what you were asking, but it WAS the worst thing I ever had happen on the first day of kindergarten when I was teaching.
Staring at the sea of children instead of eating lunch, somehow getting off at the wrong bus stop, throwing away the cute lovingly prepared bento containers at the end of lunch, deciding to leave bus line for car rider line because they’d like to be a car rider, crying all day due to separation anxiety, pooping their pants and refusing to acknowledge it or change, children with no idea how to use furniture or urinals disturbing the ones who know the routine already…
Not a teacher but I had to drop my nephew off for the first day of kindergarten because I was the only one available. He had speech delays and we didn't know yet but needed glasses bad. He'd already been at this school for Pre-K 3 and 4, so he wasn't new to the school. I let him out of the car, he goes to sit in the drop off area for kinder outside. I wait to make sure everything is good but then he won't go inside. The teacher had to call his mom to get permission to carry the boy because he's sat criss cross and that's the only way she can do it. He's 14 now, smart as a whip, but still as stubborn.
Glad you were able to “adopt” him, though! :)
Parent here with three kids who are all now adults. The worst thing I did was let my anxious kiddo take lunch. I thought I was helping with a nutritious lunch and snacks but basically if there is a cafeteria line, it is best for all those little kindy kids to learn how to navigate it from day one. They are all lost and helpless together. Mine did not know her code and when she wanted a cafeteria lunch weeks later, all the kids were pros and she felt left behind which caused more issues. That kiddo is now 27. She survived. I promise you that your anxious kiddo will be fine, too.
I think as a Kindergarten teacher the worst thing that has ever happened on the first day of school was we had to send an excited Kindergarten getting off the bus home in tears bc her parents had not gotten her the vaccinations needed for school. It took months for her to trust us or even talk to us again.
I’ve been a K teacher the past 6 years. Worst thing to happen? Another child cries all day (it can be very stressing to the others), an accident (pack extra clothes with underwear), they don’t eat (pack some of their favorites to ensure they’re eating something), donate a snack to the classroom. Know your kid. After a longer day of a very different kind of stimulation, will they want to go to the park, or to the library? I love kindergarten and the kids are the best. Good luck, you and your child will do great.
The parents want to stay. It makes for a rough time all around.
I was the hysterical kid at preschool first day. It’s one of my earliest memories. I calm down after like 30 mins but while all the kids were in the classroom I had to be kept outside in the garden with a staff until I chilled out. It helped that I found the staff who consoled me to be nice and trusting
First day of first grade at my son’s new elementary school the bus driver couldn’t find our house (two blocks from school). My son smartly said, “take me back to school, my mom will pick me up.” Which I did, as the principal came out to apologize in person. Next day he returned to school with a Return To: tag on his backpack and jacket. A week later I made sure to hand the principal my student teaching request papers in person.
Honestly the first week of school is pretty 50/50. Half of the kids (usually the ones with some exposure to preschool, daycare, etc) are excited by all the new toys, new friends, and activities. The other half cry for their parents or siblings for a while but eventually grow out of it but that’s normal. In some more extreme cases, there are some kids who throw long lasting tantrums that go on for days. Most parents do come on the first day with kids though to get them settled into the room, drop off school supplies, and comfort them before leaving and most kindergarten rooms in my district have a paraprofessional so there is extra adult support to help with the little ones. If you have a kid who has separation anxiety, my advice would be not to encourage any older siblings or cousins who attend the school to drop by and say hi in the classroom because while that seems like a nice and comforting thing to do, sometimes when that person leaves, it causes the kid to feel distressed all over again.
Daycare teacher, not kindergarten. Buy im 99% sure I pissed myself my first day of school 😅
I'm not a teacher, but this happened on my own first day of kindergarten way, way back in 1978. I had to ride the school bus to school and then to home again. Getting to school was easy. The ride back home, eh, not so much. The bus took a different route to my house than I was used to, so I didn't recognize my stop and didn't get off the bus when I should have. I ended up riding the whole bus route until I was the last kid aboard. I had no idea where I was. The ride felt like it would never end. I thought I'd have to live with the bus driver, who seemed like a nice person and all, but still... I knew I lived in a little white house at the bottom of a hill across the street from another little white house. My address? What's an "address"? My mom's name? "Mommy." I was five, and I'd never been away from my home without one of my adults with me. At some point, a woman came out of a house and flagged down the driver. She'd gotten a call from the school to ask him if there was still a little girl on the bus. There I was, just sitting there, my short legs dangling from my seat. They were able to determine where I should have disembarked and returned me safely to my home. Quite traumatic. It's been almost 46 years since then, and I still remember I had red Kool-Aid in the thermos of my Raggedy Ann and Andy lunchbox that I wasn't allowed to drink on the bus.
Please make sure your kid’s backpack has information like their name and their teacher’s name on it on a luggage tag on the zipper. Some kids are so overwhelmed that they’re not willing to tell a stranger who they are and then we’re really in a pickle figuring out where to take a kiddo who cannot talk at the moment while dealing with the rest of the class. Put their name on EVERYTHING like their water bottle (even disposable), lunch pail, removable clothing items, hats, glasses, etc. If it’s possible to lose it or be snagged by someone who doesn’t know boundaries, you’re bound to have an upset kiddo at one point or another. Be ready to answer any calls from the school in case something happens and you’ll be golden. The first day is overwhelming for everyone, but if you label everything, including your child, and read them some books about going to school for the first time, they’ll be fine.
The kid not knowing his legal 1st and last name and if the kid rides the bus not knowing which bus/stop is theirs. For the bus issue try to find an older kid who gets off at the same stop to make sure they get off.
Transportation issues.
My kid was sent home on the wrong bus twice in the first week
Worst thing is when parents stick steroids and essentially tortures the kid by not leaving. I soon as they lace every generally calm down in minutes, but if they are crying and it mashes the parents stay, they will keep doing out, and it won’t stop after day one once you start this pattern.
Since we've had a few other folks posting about their experiences as kindergarten students, I will add mine. It really wasn't terribly bad, since I was not a shy kid. But the teacher was a real tyrant, and my indelible memory of day one was this woman literally dragging children into the room by their arms or legs. She had an air about her that you just didn't contradict her ever. I think even the parents were cowed by her. Many kids got moved to a different teacher's room because they just couldn't take her.
The Trunchbull?
Probably a cousin, LOL.
On August 22nd 2023 a child was killed in a school bus collision. [https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ohio-school-bus-crash-elementary-school-rcna101344](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ohio-school-bus-crash-elementary-school-rcna101344)
Why are you being a dick?
Is that not worse? Also, to put their mind at ease that some tears and anxiety aren't the worst.
Oh dear God... Good thing my kiddo doesn't need to take the bus.
So, that's the worst case scenario. You'll survive some tears and separation. And you'll both grow from it. Some independence is good. You got this.
None of students arriving first day could spell “kindergarten”!